r/EatingDisorders • • 10h ago

Seeking Advice - Partner What to avoid when dating someone with an ED?

7 Upvotes

Hello,

I’m about to reconnect with and date a former acquaintance of mine who has (or had; don’t know about her progress) anorexia. Over the course of the years we mainly sent time together going out to dance and eat. But at some point she “vanished” which was connected to her therapy. She unfortunately never told me about this herself so that I someday got told by someone we both know.

I know this is incredibly general but I want that she feels comfortable with me and that I don’t care about how she looks. At the same point I want to assist her on her journey.

Tl;Dr, I’ve got two questions:
1. What are things i should avoid saying, doing etc.
2. What date ideas are suitable for someone with an ED

Again, I’m very sorry for the shallowness of this post, but in my opinion there’s nothing better than advice from actual affected people.


r/EatingDisorders • • 9h ago

Information Laxative abuse

6 Upvotes

Hey guys, I want to share my story because I don’t know what to do right now and I’m really struggling. I have been addicted to laxatives for about 7-10 years now. I’m currently 21 years old and I really want to stop.

When I was around 11 years old I got diagnosed with pcos. I was techically considered obese was really struggling at this period and decided to lose weight. When I turned 15 after I reached a highest weight of and decided enough was enough. Since this was during covid I decided to really dedicate my time to weight loss. I lost a lot of weight which I was so proud but I also found laxatives. My parents had used them and recommended them to me since I dealt with serious constipation. It would take me 3 days to have a normal bowel movement. So I started taking dulcolax. As I got more dependent, I started increasing the medicine.

My weight would fluctuate a lot during this period. Mainly due to the laxatives. I then ended up going to a new dietician where I stopped my use of dulcolax. I had been taking around 6 pills a day. When I went off I struggled a lot and was bloated for around a month. So I decided to go to my pharmacist and he prescribed a natural laxative. I would take 4 pills a day.

I don’t want to say that I have an eating disorder or anything but I’m just so upset about my dependence on the laxative. I need advice on how to go off it because it’s really affecting my life and my mental health. I constantly feel that I can’t do it because I know I will gain weight and feel pain, but I also want to be free from this medication that is causing me so much stress. Does anyone have advice on what to do.


r/EatingDisorders • • 2h ago

TW: Potentially upsetting content I can’t be in denial anymore.

1 Upvotes

i’ve been in denial about having an eating disorder but i’ve now reached the point of malnutrition that my body is no longer menstruating.

this summer i unintentionally lost a significant amount of weight in the span of 2 months. to the point that people have pointed how “dramatically” my figure changed in a short period of time. stress plays a factor too; i was severely traumatized earlier this year to the point of a PTSD diagnosis.

i think the part that scares me the most is that i cannot bring myself to care. i keep thinking im recovering but it feels like depression is so deeply rooted within me, i don’t know if i will ever get better. i took my health so seriously at one point & made so much progress & none of it mattered the moment i got traumatized to the point of collapse.

now i just don’t care about my health anymore. i have to because my dependents need me to. but i just don’t.

i know i need to talk to a health professional. im just looking for community right now i guess. no one in my life is equipped to handle this nor do they have insight into what it’s like to live this way.


r/EatingDisorders • • 15h ago

Recovery Story Someone finally listened to me

8 Upvotes

I decided to talk to my best friend about my ED. I struggle to talk to people about my mental health face to face. However it’s been especially bad lately and I knew I had to tell him we don’t keep secrets. He just listened. He didn’t freak out or judge me he just listened and encouraged me. He let me talk for as long as I wanted and get everything out. I’ve had people try to scare me out of my ED for years now and it’s not like I didn’t want to stop but for the first time I feel like someone genuinely got through to me by just listening and being gentle and supportive. I’m starting an outpatient program soon because of that conversation and I wanted to share that with you guys.


r/EatingDisorders • • 6h ago

Question How to make myself eat?

1 Upvotes

It sucks feeling guilty for eating and not even for body image issues now. Like I don't even hate my body that much anymore but i still feel the need to eat as little as possible. It's basically almost thoughtless compulsion now instead of deliberately doing it. At least i don't make myself throw up anymore

Really getting concerned about this because I've been on T for a bit (FTM) and i am getting extremely hungry now and super tired when i eat the way i normally eat. Like I don't think I'm going to die from it but it's definitely negatively impacting my work and home life. Any tips?


r/EatingDisorders • • 16h ago

Question How clear was your provider about your diagnosis?

6 Upvotes

No discussion of weight/behaviors.

Curious to hear how other people’s doctors were and how clear they were about your diagnosis is/was.

Recently I was going through my medical records because I’m switching doctors, and discovered that the diagnosis I had been telling people I had was incorrect; up until I had my first relapse, every document refers to me having ARFID, before it switches to anorexia with no mention of ARFID or any ARFID related behaviors.

The behaviors I started with were, in hindsight and from the documentation, were very much more ARFID than AN, but it was never presented to me that way nor was I ever told directly (same with my depression diagnosis, but that’s a different issue…)

Is this normal? I’m aware that switching between EDs is, but I was never really told directly what I had was X eating disorder/that it had developed into something else and it just really threw me to find because I think it would be relevant to my psychiatrist/current doctor, especially since I’m currently having issues.


r/EatingDisorders • • 19h ago

Question (Kinda gross) Does anyone else starting recovery experience horrible diarrhoea instead of constipation?

6 Upvotes

Curious about this because I've read over and over again that, in early recovery, people with restrictive EDs tend to be constipated and bloated because our metabolism is slowed down. However, I go through periods of remission and through relapses, and whenever I get out of a relapse and start eating adequately, I get the exact opposite. Sure, I do get horribly bloated and gassy but I'm also occupying the toilet all the time and when I eat something, anything, it just flies straight through me.

I feel really weird about it not only because it's gross but also because all articles about EDs and recovery only talk about constipation, not about...this. When I was experiencing it for the first time, my doctor didn't even connect it to my ED because of how atypical it is and my therapist didn't think of it being connected either. Considering that it's a pattern though, I can safely say that it is just what happens whenever I get out of a relapse.


r/EatingDisorders • • 17h ago

Question I don’t believe I have an ED but others do

3 Upvotes

I’m not seeking a diagnosis and I don’t want to get too specific as to not trigger others

The basic rundown;
Obese since age 5. Parents had me on many programs since then up until 18. Eventually had surgery at my biggest. Gained some weight back and went on a GLP1. Currently at my lowest weight which is still considered overweight.

I’m in therapy and IOP for other mental health concerns. My therapist and IOP tell me to seek an ED specialist because I do not eat anywhere near what my calorie intake should be or have more than a meal a day. My argument is that I’m on a GLP1 which makes me not want to eat. I feel I don’t have an ED since I’m on this medication.

Idk am I in denial? Do I seek out an ED specialist? I guess my biggest concern is what will a specialist do if I don’t believe I have an ED and don’t want to change this right now?


r/EatingDisorders • • 16h ago

Question Is this BN?

2 Upvotes

I've suffered from AN & ARFID since I was 12, I'm now 44 so it's been a very long time. I've never considered I had BN until my specialist wrote it as another disorder I have. I thought BN was binging & purging which I've never done, my specialist is basing the diagnosis solely on my laxative abuse. Does this figure?


r/EatingDisorders • • 17h ago

Chronic bloating! Is it due to re-feeding and when do symptoms subside??

2 Upvotes

I apologize if this is too much information. This is my first post and am hoping to get any type of information.

Symptom: chronic bloating. All day. Everyday. It does not matter what I eat or do, I am constantly bloated. And it is not a cute little bloat, I look pregnant.

History: In school I was always smaller. In high school, I gained a little belly fat - normal.

My freshman year of college, I was at community college and I noticed no change. During the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I felt the need to lose a little weight. I also remember talking to people about having tummy issues (the start of my bloat?? Can't remember if this is true or superimposed into my memory). Minimal to no bloat. This is the summer that I start going to the gym. Up until high school, I did not like being active. In high school, I played tennis. In college, I began to value exercise and am now pretty consistent.

My sophomore year of college, I went to a university. The reason I bring up these dates is because throughout my university experience, I have been under immense stress (could this affect my symptoms?). Symptoms weren't too bad at the start of the semester. I started feeling "fat" after every meal and felt the need to lose weight (did not realize that this was bloat!). I gained some weight. Spring semester of my sophomore year, I am at my heaviest weight, ever. I start HEAVILY restricting my meals (we're talking one meal a day. I can barely function because food is all that I think about). I lost quite some weight within three to four weeks (continued one meal a day with bingeing for about a month). I start bingeing and also (I am so incredibly embarrassed to admit this), start taking my roommates food. I lose my period.

The summer between my sophomore and junior of university, I go to basic training and AIT (for the military). I am severely underfeeding myself. I lose my hair. I am unaware of what I am doing to my body. I am out in the sun and running around all day and eating undressed salads. I always felt "full" but it was just because I bloated so fast. It got to the point where many of my drill sergeants and battle buddies were concerned, however, I was convinced that was all that my body needed. I discover low-FODMAPs. I am at home for what should have been my junior year fall semester. I attempt low-FODMAPS, I am HEAVILY restricting my diet, and hit my lowest adult weight. My GI doctor tests me for a slew of issues, and everything comes back negative. My heart rate is extremely low and we chalk it up to me being a runner. Spring semester of my junior year, I return to school and I start gaining some weight. I try low-FODMAPs but it is hard. My stomach would be flat in the mornings occasionally (but I am also just not eating ENOUGH food). Halfway through the semester, I am starting to inch my way out of that that headspace. I gain my period back. April and May I see a therapist. I start throwin' back food (I love it again? Well, I never stopped loving food, I was scared of it). The bloat is bloatin'. My goal for the summer was to de-stress (does not happen). I had two long trips and I was not eating as healthy as I usually do.

Now we are up to the present - fall semester of my senior year in college. I am EXTREMELY stressed. I am not eating as healthy as I would like. I was very intense about my workouts at the start of the semester, and now I am burning out. I hate to admit it, but stealing roommates food has not subsided. I have seen a nutritionist twice now. At first she thought that the bloat was because I was not eating breakfast (no). She believes that it is the re-feeding process taking place. She would like me to get re-tested for some GI issues.

Questions: What do you think could be the cause of my chronic bloat? How long does chronic underfeeding have to occur for bloating to become a symptom? How long does refeeding take for bloating to stop? Will I ever get my body back/stop feeling/looking like this?

I value any thoughts. This is hard for me to admit, and some of this information is embarrassing to share. I understand that some of it is weird, so I would appreciate no negative comments on that (or perhaps ways of stopping it. I'm talking the food stealing, because whoah, that's weird. Why am I doing that?).


r/EatingDisorders • • 22h ago

Advice on hunger/fullness cues and how much to be eating?

4 Upvotes

I've been in recovery for 30 days now, after restricting for around 16 months. But I never feel hungry or full anymore, it's like my cues are completely gone and I'm constantly at a state of neutrality. It's very confusing because I don't ever have a feeling of hunger, but at the same time no matter how much | eat I never get any sense of fullness (It would take me to eat 4k+ to actually feel some sort of fullness). All I want is to be able to actually FEEL hungry/ full like a normal person. After each meal it's like I haven't eaten anything and am left with that same feeling of neutrality. So right now I'm wondering if I should kind of go "all in" and honor this lack of fullness by eating until | can actually get that feeling no matter how high the amount is, or if I should stick by the recovery amount range and end my day of eating regardless if I feel full or not? For context, I lost Quite a substantial amount of my body weight in the span of 16 months and am now quite UW and I know that I need to restore weight and eat more, but I'm confused on if the overall intake or time of day/consistency matter more for bringing these cues back. I've also lost my period for quite some time, and l would love any advice on what helped you/what you think I should do to help my situation.


r/EatingDisorders • • 23h ago

Seeking Advice - Partner Hello, I need advice and help with my girlfriend's severe eating disorder.

5 Upvotes

​

Hello, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year.

She has a severe eating disorder and that worries me.

We are in LDR so I can't help much but I need any kind of advice and help because I'm truly worried about her health.

Sadly therapy is out of the question(family issues)


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Question anyone else have experience going back to residential less than a year later?

3 Upvotes

I went to residential treatment at the end of November last year and left in February, and then did PHP and IOP until the end of June this year. I genuinely was doing so much better for so long and I thought for a while that I was almost fully recovered.

A couple weeks ago I spiraled into a depression that always seems to come this time of year and slipped back into old habits. My therapist said today that if there’s not significant progress within the next week then I will have to go back to residential.

I feel so guilty and I don’t have high hopes that I’ll be able to make enough progress to not go because I’m really struggling. And I do think going back would really help me. But I feel so much shame and like embarrassment to go back there after doing so well, and it feels like such a quick turn around. I literally sent my residential team a letter a month ago telling them how well I was doing and I feel like they’re going to be disappointed in me. I’m scared my family is disappointed too. I’m disappointed in me.

I think it would help me to hear similar stories (preferably with a happy ending)? I’m starting to feel like there’s no hope for recovery if I can go from doing so well to needing to go back to residential in just a few weeks.


r/EatingDisorders • • 21h ago

Seeking Advice - Friend Emetophobia and restrictive ED

2 Upvotes

Hello all;

I have a student/client who is in their late teens that suffers from Emetophobia (fear of vomiting), and as such has lately been severely restricting their food intake from that fear. They mentioned the phobia to me recently, and I knew it was an issue that’s been affecting them as of late. Their mother has spoken with me as well and has said they’re acting out from this a lot lately. I presume they’re in therapy for it, though I’m not sure. They do have a fairly good relationship with their mother based on what they’ve mentioned before to me, so I don’t feel concerned on that front, tho I’ll obvs keep an eye/ear out for their safety.

What I’m seeking is any advice anyone may have on something like this, if anyone has dealt with this before? I’m looking for the best ways that I can support them and help them as they deal with this, beyond just making sure we’ve got ample snacks and food on hand when they’re here.

Thank you in advance for any help and resources you all can provide!! Thank you.


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Seeking Advice - Family Scared about passing my eating disorder onto my daughter

13 Upvotes

TW: Eating disorders, childhood experiences, disordered eating

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 13, so I’ve lived with it for more than half my life. Something I’ve been struggling with lately is the fear that I’m subconsciously passing it on to my daughter, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

My own childhood definitely influenced my relationship with food and my body. My mom was very critical of herself, was constantly dieting, and even suggested Weight Watchers to me when I was around 10 years old. I also grew up in a very traditional household where we were expected to clean our plates or we couldn’t go to bed. Looking back, I think these experiences contributed to my relationship with food, which eventually developed into binge eating and bulimia.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I’m incredibly conscious of not repeating those patterns.

I try very hard not to speak negatively about my body or criticize my appearance in front of her. I’m careful about the language I use, too. For example, if we’re talking about makeup, I’ll say it’s something you can use to look fancy rather than something you need to look beautiful. I want her to grow up knowing that her worth has absolutely nothing to do with how she looks.

I also want to mention that I am in treatment for my eating disorder and have been for over a year now. I’m actively working on my recovery and trying to understand and unlearn a lot of the things I grew up with. I take this seriously, which is part of why this worries me so much. Even though I’m getting help and doing the work, I still worry about the things my daughter might be picking up on without me realizing it.

I know that even when we’re careful about what we say, children can notice our behaviours, our emotions, and our relationship with food. I worry that she might be subconsciously picking up on my eating disorder, even though I try so hard to shield her from it.

I feel guilty thinking that something I’ve struggled with for so much of my life could affect her, especially because I know firsthand how painful it can be.

I want so badly to break this cycle. I don’t want her to grow up with the same thoughts and struggles that I’ve had. At the same time, I know I can’t completely hide every struggle from her, and I’m trying to figure out what a healthy approach to parenting looks like when you’re dealing with an eating disorder yourself.

For parents who have struggled with eating disorders, how have you navigated raising children? Have you worried about passing your relationship with food and your body image on to them? What have you done to help your children develop a healthy relationship with food and themselves, even while you’re still working through your own struggles?

I’d especially love to hear from people who grew up with a parent who had an eating disorder, or whose parents struggled with dieting and body image. What do you wish your parents had done differently? What helped you?

I’m not looking for judgment. I’m genuinely trying to learn how to do better for my daughter, and I could really use some advice from people who understand.


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

My boyfriend making me angry/triggered

9 Upvotes

When he tells me he's 'trying to get healthier' and lose weight

Telling me what he's eating

Always talking about his one meal a day

How he's started eating sugar free jello (my lowcal safe food)

How he's walking and working out more and buying work out equipment

I don't know how to tell him he's just pissing me off and I feel borderline insulted that's he's adapted parts of my disorder to his life to lose weight

And I'm just generally triggered whenever he brings up health and eating

How has everyone else navigated this


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

TW: Potentially upsetting content Inpatient treatment in another state

2 Upvotes

I had my visit at the local ED center last week, and this last Wednesday, they outlined my course of treatment. They're sending me to a neighboring state for 2-3 weeks of inpatient treatment. When I get back, I'll go into 6 (I think she said) weeks of outpatient, 5 days a week, 6 hours a day.

I have no idea what to expect in inpatient treatment. If anyone has been, can you let me know what to expect? Will I have access to my phone (I know different facilities have different rules, and I won't expect it any answer as a guarantee, but I'm hoping someone was allowed to keep theirs)? Did they transport you to the hospital or did you have to get there yourself? I expect a lot of therapy and they said I could bring my heart loop monitor,but will their be weigh-ins, medical tests, that sort of thing?

I'm terrified how meals will go. I know everything is going to have to change. I'm... not excited, but grateful at the same time, if that makes sense, that I'll finally get professional help instead of trying to navigate this on my own. But I'm still scared.


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Question Where to start B/P support? Campus / Rural

2 Upvotes

Hi, I am looking to gains ome support for B/P. I have had it for two years, and it is starting to take a strain on my realtionship as I spend hours a day no-contact as well as this affects my schoolwork. I have deeply considered going to the hospital on multiple occasions because I am tired of the feeling once I commit to B/P.

I do think I need to address this behavior with my partner because I want to encourage transparency by being transparent with him. He knows that I spend a lot of time doing something, but I cant tell him why. wanted to get supports situated before I do so. WHere do I start? Is getting medicinal support possible if I wanted to? I deal with an insatiable appetite. For context, I am on a school campus so their psychiatric / RD services are very limiting / non-existant. What do I do?


r/EatingDisorders • • 23h ago

BEAT charity 12 week recovery programme

1 Upvotes

Hi, I’ve been offered a place for the 12 week recovery programme. It’s delivered by the ED charity, BEAT. I have my first call on Monday. I’m a bit apprehensive! Anyone here done it? I think it used to be called momentum.


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

bulimia recovery help

1 Upvotes

i’ve been on my health grind for so so long,, going to the gym and weightlifting and going to pilates. i haven’t been going as often as i used to because ive been feeling so shitty about myself
people telling me that they admire my lifestyle and they wish they could be as “disciplined” as me makes me feel like a fake
i’ve been struggling with bullimia for around 5 months now and i don’t know how to handle it because of the intense anxiety i have of gaining weight and looking how i used to
can anyone help? im so tired of this it’s affecting my social life and my mental health let alone my physical health


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Trying to recover from atypical anorexia, but food guilt is hurting me….help?

5 Upvotes

So I’m on the lower end of the normal weight range, and for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to recover. I have had 3 days where I binged on some chocolate and went way over maintenance.

I know I can’t talk numbers but my surplus combined over those three days would be about the weekly weight gain rate of a bulk.

I just feel so guilty. Advice?


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Struggling

8 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I am really struggling in "recovery" right now. I've met with outpatient professionals and attended residential, PHP, and endless free support opportunities for almost two years now. My official diagnosis is anorexia but I swing between severe restriction and, what my doctor calls, compensatory eating (which feels so chaotic and out of control). I can't get myself to eat the meal plan from my dietician. I'm so scared and alone. My friends and family don't understand, and I don't think there is anything they can do to help. I'm sorry to whine on here. I hope others are well xx.


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Question can a therapist help me? or is this a separate issue?

3 Upvotes

hi all! for some context this is my first time posting in the sub, I,ve had my reddit account for a little while but I mostly use it to lurk so I’m still quite new to actually posting so my apologizes if I’m not doing this correctly and I will take it down if it’s a violation 😭 so obviously I’m part of this sub bc I have an ED, but I also have had other issues stemming from childhood that have recently resurfaced and I scheduled an appointment with a therapist for these issues. I’m struggling on whether I should mention my ED to her when I see her. I don’t think i’m ready to recover yet but I do want to be open and honest with everything that i’ve been going through this past year and obv my ED plays a big part. this practice is more focused on trauma and emotional mental health issues and I’m wondering if EDs fall into that category or if this would require a separate therapist that has medical expertise? if that makes any sense?? I’m just afraid that as soon as I mention having disordered eating that I won’t be able to see her anymore bc it doesn’t qualify for treatment with her and I might have to be sent somewhere else. for some more context, I use to see this therapist about 6ish years ago for the same issues (non-ED) that have now resurfaced but I’m stopped going. so I decided to see her again since she somewhat knows my past but I’m just worried about bringing up my new issues - restrictive eating beginning this time last year, and binge/purging several times daily which started like 2ish months ago, gotten worse this month. I’m still at a healthy bmi and do not look sick at all but I know my behavior is very unhealthy and would like to get some help eventually, just not right now. I think I need to work towards that but I don’t think I can without getting help for my other issues bc I feel they may be linked. I don’t have any diagnoses right now but I do suspect that I may had adhd and that my binge/purging habits may be linked but idk if that’s just a myth or not, but it does make sense to me. adhd or other similar mental health issues is something she can treat, but it feels disingenuous to leave out my eating habits. i’m worried that she may treat me for the other issues with medication and might make my ED worse. so I’m just struggling on what to say. it’s quite expensive so my sessions are just once a month for now, first session is next week. is it worth mentioning my ED to her?

again I hope this is ok to ask on this sub, if not i apologize greatly and will take it down!! thank you 🫶🏼


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Recovery Story My psychiatrist commented on my weight gain and I feel like all my progress is gone

11 Upvotes

I have bulimia and started trying to recover about two months ago. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m gaining weight, and today I went to see my psychiatrist. The first thing he said when he saw me was how much weight I’d gained, even though he knows I have an eating disorder and body dysmorphia.
I just started crying hysterically. I feel like I’m back at square one and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I hate how I look.I hate how I feel in my own body, I hate everything about it.
Recovery sucks 💔


r/EatingDisorders • • 1d ago

Question No exercise

3 Upvotes

Should you stop exercising in recovery if you feel like it's compulsive? Will my body change a lot if I do?