frustration triggers my anger faster than anything else. how do you deal with frustration and keeping it from going further?

For all of my (18f) life, my dad has had a very short temper. He acts normal around others, but treats us horribly. I remember when I was a kid, he would always beat me over the most minor inconveniences that come with being a child. And I know they were small because I’ve just realized this once I grew up and started understanding the world around me.

At first, I thought that his temperament came from his age (almost 50 when he married), but I later found out from a relative that he had been rough since his youth and would fight anyone who looked at him sideways.

In the recent years, his health and physical condition aren’t too good after an injury. This makes his temper even worse for all of us. I’ve tried so hard to empathize with him and did my best to take care of him, but I just cannot deal with the way he treats me. He picks me up from class and always has to make it a huge mess; he gives me really vague responses to questions about the pickup, then goes insane when I get confused about it. I’ve tried to be patient with him, but there’s only so much patience you can have while walking under the scorching sun for several minutes (in the wrong direction, mind you) after a full day of lectures. My mom and sister give me hell for upsetting him, but nobody even tries to see it from my viewpoint. They tell me to suck it up and let him say anything, but they don’t even TRY to stay quiet themselves.

Sick as he is, he still finds every opportunity to drive me insane, then gets absolutely furious over an argument HE started. But I already know that if I try to retaliate, he’ll literally drop dead from the stress on his weak heart.

I’m so sick of my life. At this point, I need to do something so insane that he, and the rest of my family, start watching their behavior around me like we did for him my entire life. No more screaming insults at me, no more breaking things, no more rubbing my struggles in my face. It could be anything, whether it just makes them walk on eggshells around me or if it gets me sent to the psych ward. Someone tell me something.

I’ve been terribly angry at him for the past few months. For context we have had a long strained relationship, back when I was a little kid up until about 11 years old (I was taken away by child protective services when I was 11) my dad has always neglected me, sometimes even starving us at times and at that time I was with my dads side of the family who were emotionally abusive. I couldnt live with my mother because she was insanely physically abusive(was tried to be put with her even after telling protective services shes abusive and they didnt believe me until i ran away) After I discharged from the childrens home around 17 years old I was put back with my father but this time around he had managed to get his own house. At the start we did have some fights which made us estranged and I did take about 2 years trying to mend back the relationship with him.

Recently, I’ve just been really angry at him because he just didn’t pick up after himself and the whole house was so messy because I was juggling full time school and just didn’t have time to clean because of all the all-nighters I’ve been pulling. Today was my last straw when I had to clean the washing machine, and both the toilets.

I wrote him a long text and sent it to him but was met with pessimistic and manipulative texts and I just got so angry because I really truly thought he has changed. He stopped texting for awhile and subsequently I calmed down, but I suddenly heard sounds in the toilet and went to check it out and suddenly he’s cleaning. And I just couldn’t contain my anger and asked “so after all this years what made you think of cleaning now?” And it just spiralled from there. I was infuriated when he kept hurling words at me like "i hate you" and "if you dont go away i will spray bleach into my mouth and kill mysefl" and after one too many times after he kept saying i hate you I hit him once and after a bit more bickering I just fully lost control and pushed him and broke the toilet door. I dont know what happened but i seriously didnt try to attack anything about him rather i just wanted him to get out of the way because we live with two cats and he didnt know what he was doing with the chemicals and it was gassing up the house, not to mention the floor mat outside the door was soaked with bleach water and my cat loves sitting on that mat. i felt so angry knowing my cats could possibly be in danger too...

I really really don’t know what to do now. I feel terrible yes but I also just don’t have the wits in me to continue mending the relationship. I would love for some outside insight and yes I do understand if you think I’m an asshole.. I do know that.. I’m sorry..

How do you regulate yourself? The older I get the worse it gets. Maybe it’s menopause or maybe it’s fricking millennials not wanting to do their job. I don’t know maybe it’s a combination of things. But it’s getting bad. I don’t get angry like this all the time but when I do, I wanna beat somebody’s face in. I don’t wanna go to jail so I’ve successfully walked away this far but I’m afraid it’s going to get to the point then I’m going to end up beating somebody up because it’s getting close. I’m so sick and tired of people and their stupidity and when they’re fighting with me, I just wanna pelt them. How do you regulate yourself?

This is not domestic violence. He’s too laid back for all that 🤣🤣

Has anyone ever had a feeling where? youre sure youre not depressed because you have too much excitment for life, but at the end of the day your brain wants to feel sad and angry. i have so many good things to do, i can build my dollhouse, play piano and go outside yet my brain wants to stay angry and for no reason

Idk what's been up with me lately but I've been really angry and argumentative online. I think I'm just already in a bad mood so when people comment something dumb it makes me want to argue with them. I end up taking my anger out over a dumb reddit comment and cuss at random internet strangers.

I have to expel all the anger here or I'm going to lose my mind! I feel a pressure building on my chest, on my heart.

I hold all my energy and pain in my chest/heart and I am becoming more aware of the need to flush out the feelings and relieve my aching heart. I have to be able to regulate my emotions better. I don't wanna lash out on people that are trying to care for me anymore. I'm a grown ass adult and I need to be able to not let the anger take me over to the point where I yell and scream and hit things. That's childish behavior and I can't believe I have let anger take over me. I have seen the people I love be terrified to be around me and that's clearly NOT okay. It breaks my heart to think that people are scared of me. This isn't me. Who tf is this horrible person? I never in my wildest dreams thought this is where I'd be today. No husband, no job, very few friends, and no family. And guess who made that happen? I did. I single-handedly ruined my life. Good job girl! Way to go! 👎 You fucking idiot! You fucking waste of space. Lying sack of shit. You do belong in the ditch! These are the things I say to myself because this is how I think of myself. I have hurt the most important person in my life because of my choices. I would do anything to make it right but I feel that ship has sailed and they will never forgive me for making them feel unwanted and like trash. You are not trash and you never have been. I loved you so much. You were my world, my bestie, my lover, and my home. We have been through so much together. So many good things, so many challenging things, so many things meant to break us apart, but pushed us closer together. As a team. Just you and me against the world. But here we are today because of the shitty choices I made and I will be forever reminded of that. Please tell your parents that I'm very sorry for breaking their son's heart. I really do hope this helps you a little bit. This is all I can do now.

I’ve struggled with my anger for years. I don’t take my anger on others though and mostly keep it to myself, usually repressing it or just ruminating and withdrawing from others.

But I still can’t get over wanting revenge on those who have hurt me deeply, especially if they’re still part of my personal life. I’ve withdrawn, I’ve created distance, and I’ve lessened contact as much as possible. I don’t act my anger out and I don’t do any outwardly revenge-seeking actions. Nothing is working though.

I’m so angry all the time I can barely function well. I don’t feel at peace ever.

Anyone here who desires revenge but, due to reasons, knows that it’s just not doable and you’re stuck sitting with these feelings? If you’ve got advice on how to cope with it, please share.

Otherwise, I mean, if you’ve got healthy ways of revenge, I’d like to hear it.

I can’t figure out what to do. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being angry but I’m always “out for blood,” wanting revenge so badly. I also don’t understand what I really want either. I’m genuinely confused on how to cope.

I was driving home from work today when someone pulled out of their driveway in front of me to cross my lane and go the opposite direction. I had to slam on my brakes and we came VERY close to colliding. She rolled down her window and yelled at me, as if it was my fault. I was prepared to keep going about my business, but something about her yelling at me enraged me so I whipped my car around and called her a dumb bitch (childish, i know) as I drove past her.

I immediately felt such intense shame and more than an hour later I still cannot believe I let someones actions affect me like that. I grew up in a very angry household and have worked so hard to not be the same way and this feels like such a failure on my part. I know there’s nothing I can do to change my actions and have learned a valuable lesson, but how do you deal with the shame that comes with an anger outburst?

I’ll try to make everything clear here, I am diagnosed AuDHD w/C-PTSD. I have serious issues with nervous system regulation. I experience episodes where I am triggered and it feels like I’m in the backseat while someone else is driving crazy because I am no longer me. I can’t predict what I’ll say, I can’t predict what I’ll do, or how I’ll act, I feel overridden and completely in “fight-or-flight” but my default is always “fight”. It’s like I’m given no choice of my own the moment I’m triggered. Perhaps at times there’s a buildup of overstimulation I didn’t notice before and then one thing becomes the straw that broke the camels back.

I’ve done CBT, I’ve done somatic therapy, I’ve done psychodynamic, and psychoanalysis, and none have been that helpful.

I’ve been prescribed various things throughout the years, effexor, abilify, wellbutrin, propranolol, trileptal, strattera, adderall, vyvanse, modafinil, and outside of prescriptions I’ve also self prescribed concerta, methylphenidate and recreationally tried microdosing psilocybin, or low-dose thc with minor cannibinoids (which was helpful at times but can also cause me to have less prefrontal cortex rationalization, an overactive amygdala and emotional sensitivity, along with being susceptible to overstimulation from my sensory) this rarely ever happened at all, most the time I was just nicer, calmer, happier and oddly poetic.

I don’t drink, I don’t do cocaine I quit both of these many years ago so this is not a contributor. I actually quit smoking for the most part also, I’ll smoke maybe one cigar a month now. I’ve tried kratom (don’t recall which kind, I think red) but didn’t notice much. I’m looking into ketamine assisted psychotherapy and EMDR (alongside DBT) but I’m not sure what to expect with either. Every now and then I’ll do about 3-5 grams of psilocybin for some psychological insight and this has proven most of the time largely helpful but because of its nature it can only be done so often, and this doesn’t prevent me from exploding, only helps me learn more about myself and my behaviors.

I try to pinpoint what’s happening before I explode, during and after but it’s hard to do. Especially before. During is mostly a loss of total control and the physical NEED to destroy, sometimes I overcome it nowadays but other times I just don’t. This scares people. I try cold water and vagus nerve stimulation, breathing exercises, exercising, hitting the punching bag, chopping wood, and doing anything to get it out physically but this itself isn’t useful or sustainable long term.

I try to learn to sit with it, accept my emotions and control it but this is only if I’ve managed to stop the explosion itself. I try my best to recognize when there’s a build up and communicate it so I may intervene and remove myself from the area but this doesn’t always happen. I try to not identify with my anger and even question is it anger or merely anger masking some form of emotional vulnerability, again it doesn’t always work. I practice every tool and method taught by my therapists. But to no avail, nothing seems to truly work. I know Rome wasn’t built overnight. It takes time, practice and patience. However, there isn’t a great deal of patience or time if I just keep scaring my loved ones, they don’t deserve that.

My current medication regimen is bupropion, propranolol, and strattera. Trileptal used to be part of it to give me that one second pause before the explosion but it didn’t work and only made me feel foggy, so I quit Trileptal. I occasionally take low dose methylphenidate and I’m typically calm at its peak, but sometimes I experience the explosions when it wears off and I’m exhausted. Like today. I am supplementing 2,000mg of high EPA fish oil in hopes it benefits me in anyway. I have looked into ashwaganda (KSM-66), and N-Acetyl Cysteine as potential options but I don’t want to start too many new supplements simultaneously because then it’ll be too hard to determine what is working and what is not. I’m still in psychodynamic, psychosomatic, emotional regulation therapy.

Nonetheless, I’m at a loss for words. I’m open to any recommendations, and tells of experiences from any body that knows anything or has ever been in a similar position. Even if that means temporarily being prescribed antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, anticonvulsants, or other medications to stabilize myself in the meantime while I learn how to manage this better. I genuinely cannot continue scaring people, especially those I love. I feel mentally ill, I am mentally ill, and I’m frankly just so tired of it. These explosions are more than exhausting for everyone involved.

Thank you if you read until the end.

Sometimes I don’t pick up on ques when someone is being shady or disrespectful right away. Then it hits me and I feel weak and “small” like I should’ve done or said this. Now I appear weak, stupid, soff.

IT MAKES ME IRRITATED.

One of my favourite shows and anime that I have watched with them over the years only for me to REMIND ME OF THEM whenever I see what is supposed to be important pieces of art to me.

And if I try to rewatch it to move on from them I ASSOCIATE IT WITH THEM EVEN MORE. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I want to enjoy the shows I love without having this angry feeling in me.

I get annoyed easily by idiots and anyone who wastes my time. For ex., dumping stupid questions in my DM or tagging everyone in the group chat for the stupidest of stupid things, which Google can easily answer, or promoting themselves when they are actually terrible at their "skills" but they think they have accomplished something great ... I don't care who says what in general, but when you DM or tag me and take my time and it turns out to be something stupid, I am going to get ANGRY.

And this happens a lot in my current situation because I'm forced to be a part of several online groups and some of them don't have the "block" option.

Often, these people may not be "bad people" but they just want to talk to or chat with someone because they are lonely or they want validation and I struggle very hard to not show my anger, so they think I will be nice to them every time they DM shxt. Each time, it makes me angrier and angrier.

But today, for the first time in a long time, someone DM-ed me crxp about their "poetry" and they can't even write one proper sentence but they think they are a soon-to-be "writer", and they said they want my help professionally to help them connect with others or me or anyone who can help, I just 1) let it go, 2) said "okay", and 3) did nothing more. You won't belive HOW LIGHT I feel right now. No anger. No rage. No heavy emotion. So light-hearted! I am genuinely happy!

At what point do you go for anger management or therapy? I don't get angry with people in general or with friends, or strangers. I let it go. Ofc, when I used to work in customer service I would talk back but just a bit.

Now when it comes to my immediate family it gets to where I am angry and angry-cry. I used to throw things (not at them) and slam doors and honestly lately ive just been disappointed and angry. Would yall say its best to get therapy or is this solvable on my own?

What do yall do to get over this or to be kinder, to let it go?

story: so basically just started one hour ago I was playing baseball in PE and while I was playing, I keep missing the ball because the bat was not thick enough so mad and on the floor. I did take a walk with my but after I came back to the gym and the score was all wrong so I tried to fix the score, but then you changed the score again so I laid my hands on him at frustration and I went to the principals office I eventually went home and learned that I was suspended and I talked about it with my mom and now I’m currently in my room writing this by the time you’re reading this I’ve already finished

If I’m alone and angry, I feel no pressure to hold back so I slam and punch things, so hard my fist aches sometimes. I also scream at the top of my lungs. The screaming not so much, but I struggle to hold myself back from hitting things when I’m angry and around my bf. He’s told me it makes him uncomfortable and I feel terrible, but in the moment it’s just what feels right. I get angry easy, and I mean EASY so it’s a pretty common problem. Any suggestions on what I could do instead? I have an issue with calming down once I’m triggered. Something small can make me so angry I linger on it for hours, wanting to punch something every time my brain comes up with another part of the situation that pissed me off which I didn’t think of before. I’m just sick of being bitter and using violence as a cope

I've (19) been having anger problems recently due to some health issues and very severe mental health issues my Mom has been having.

It's been very emotionally taxing, but I've been trying to be by her side as much as I can no matter how hard it's been. The problem is, some of her friends have been entertaining the idea of her getting back together with her ex (who was an abuser that made my (and her especially) life hell for the past 10 years.

I called one of her friends to discuss this and after some insinuations that I'm not doing enough for my mother and that I don't understand what she's going through, I kind of lost it. I calmed down relatively quickly and I apologised and tried to keep my cool, even though they got angry because I yelled at them were throwing accusations my way.

Now I feel horrible, I've always had a deep issue about how others perceive me, and I'm scared I'll be seen as a bad daughter, and that if my Mom won't get better/will die, I will have to bear the brunt of the blame these people will throw my way.

I feel so ashamed, I don't know how to get a grip on myself. I'm so scared about what they'll say about me/what they are saying at the moment, and atill the anger of being wrongly perceived is bubbling over.

Any advice on how to stop getting angry at the opinions of others about onself?

My dad, grandma, and grandpa have horrible anger issues. I definitely feel like it’s genetic I don’t know I could be wrong. I have all this rage sometimes it feels like my body is just exploding with rage. Zoloft doesn’t work like it used to. I try not to be angry but even the smallest thing can set me off. The breathing shit don’t work I’m reading a book on how to handle my anger issues it’s not helping. I don’t want my son growing up with anger being so common. PLEASE HOW DO I STOP GETTING ANGRY??? I HATE MYSELF I HATE HOW I AM. When people say they stop being angry person because they realized they were giving power to someone else. That won’t work for me.

i just hit myself so many times i was doing so good with not hitting myself and now i think i have a concussion now. i hate myself why would i do this to myself now my head is all bruised. can head injuries go untreated i don’t know if im able to go to a doctor. i want to contain my anger but i cant no matter how hard i try. i’m starting to get a headache so im pretty sure i have a concussion. what do i do please help me i dont know what to do

I WANNA PUNCH HIM SO BADLY!!! WHAT CAN I DO???

How do you deal with someone being SO OBNOXIOUS AND FRUSTRATING at work?

Someone who needs you to repeat the same thing OVER AND OVER again because they are so extremely SLOW?

Someone who lied and larped their way into their position?

Someone who interrupts your work to ask the most ridiculous things because they're too lazy and dumb to do their work?

Does the desire to PUNCH them ever go away?

I have always considered myself a passionate person with a strong sense of justice. I know i can be reactive. But I also feel like im not heard by people until I basically go nutzo.

Recently ive had some feedback about my tone at work. I have a pretty stressful high stakes job and I sometimes think im being a strong advocate but I do have to be very firm to be taken seriously.

Anyway, I probably need to get a handle on this though because I feel im putting a target on my back with management.

I actually hate the confrontation. It makes me feel terrible for a long time after. But in the moment its like I have to.

I guess im asking, how do you learn to regulate your anger without losing the assertiveness that makes you an effective advocate?

Hey everyone. My therapist told me if I'm ever feeling bad to write down what I am feeling. I feel like also doing it as a post here might help. I know majority of my anger comes from my parents or my relationship with them. They were never physically abusive but they were very emotionally neglectful, overally critical and perhaps a bit narcissistic.

I feel like lately, I've been going through a depressive episode but also feeling very angry at both past events and current. I think it kind of snapped recently. When after having dozens of job interviews over the last year, I was denied another one (I'm not unemployed just trying to get a better job) and a few days later, I had another car almost drive into me and practically run off the road.

In the moment, I was a little pissed about both and just kind of reacted. Now I'm having thoughts about wanting to hit my interviewers (for putting me through 6 rounds of interviews to pass on me) and almost strangle the other driver.

It scared me having these thoughts. My therapist said it sounds like I have a lot of sadness and hurt that has never been delt with that is coming up.

I also think back to how as a teen, I was bullied a lot and wish I kind of stood up for myself a lot more. I also had a violent thought of wanting to like slam my bully's head against concrete from when I was 16. I remember he would try to choke me from behind and hated me because he thought I was Muslim (not that there is anything wrong with that. I am biracial but not Muslim) and thought I was a terrorist. He always used to call me sand n-word. He used to his his lighter to heat up a pen and burn it on me.

Anyway, just wanted to get some thoughts out. I got therapy again on Tuesday. Just wanted to vent a little until then.

Hi everyone, i just want to vent because i think i want to know if this is normal, I don't know if i am right or wrong, if i am overreacting or it is a natural reaction to past experiences.

my dad is an angry person, very angry person. i grew up in a household where my dad couldn't talk, he only yells. he literally never spoke to me, he shouts and cusses everyone, anyone including my mom the sweetest person i have known.

his temper is unbelievable, not only that he also gets offended when someone tells him calm down and consider it talking back! i could never share or tell him anything, if i need help with something he would be the last person i would talk to. idk if i should share this but all that yelling and cursing made me or turned me into an addict, i got addicted to masturbation just so i can calm myself down, would u believe me if i tell u guys that i started masturbating around the age of 9 or maybe 10! multiple times a day, when i was younger i could do it as many as 7 times a day.

if u see me you would never tell, i am in a great shape, hardworking, and an educated person. i have a good reputation in my community and among my friends. no one knows that i touch myself coz yk teenagers tend to tell their friends about it but i never did and ppl think of highly haha.

now that i am older he can't talk shit to me and humiliate like he used and oh god he used to humiliate me in front of anyone, he even disown me once in public coz my hair is long and he doesn't like that my hair is long. my dad is so disrespectful in every possible way and i can't stand the sight of him. when he walks into my room or call my name i get so agitated and nervous. he literally can't talk without raising his voice, calls me names which he stopped coz I don't let me insult me anymore. he thinks he is god, not godlike.

i smoke cigarettes and a little of weed ever since i got back with him, not because i need him i actually left the house when i was 18, he kicked me out and got back with him this year because he needs me and in my culture i must be there for him.

weed helps me with my anger, yes i was an angry guy myself, i got it from him, i get angry quick but weed helped me tremendously. i also got addicted to sex but i stopped. i am afraid i will have to deal with addiction just so i can clear my head, i can literally hear his voice yelling at me and telling i am an idiot and stupid...

thank u for reading this long post. i hope you guys are doing amazing.