I see lot of people complaining about loneliness in late teens / 20s / early 30s. While I understand that the problem is real, this part is little bearable as you might be in the process of figuring out the world and about to meet Mr. / Ms. Right.

Loneliness really becomes unbearable once you reach your 40s. You are no longer physically attractive, either you have had tough luck meeting Mr. / Ms. Right OR you are separated

This is gloomy and tends to make people go completely hermit. Negative outlook towards professional life is another side effect.

How to deal with this situation?

I can't with this sub anymore, nor with any social media and any other social group. No one gives a shit until someone already has a garrot on their throat, and when they at last do - every living being (especially here) starts racing to text "Ooh, you're not alone, dms are opened, yada yada". Bullshit. Y'all don't give a fuck, but at the same time you are afraid of being accused of indifference, so you play pretend with yourselves. Who are you trying to trick, who?! Hypocrisy, blasphemy, total decay of honesty. But it's fine. Fine. I don't need you or anything else. I'm fed up with all this, straight up. I was holding the line, waiting, hoping, but I'm tired of doing so. What's the fucking point, anyway.

I (43m) posted a few days ago about someone whom I met here was on the verge of taking their life. Earlier today they made the attempt. They are in another country, and when I hadn’t heard from them, I called their phone and someone picked up from the hospital. I did what I could to help get them in touch with her family. She’s stable, but she is obviously going to be admitted and I don’t even know if I will be able to talk to her.

But now it’s coming crashing down on me. I knew this person for less than 2 weeks, but we had an intense connection. I could see her like no one had seen her before, and she saw me like no one had seen me before. But she was in a mental health crisis, and even connection can’t help that…

Now I’m alone. So alone.

my social ineptitude permeates into my *entire life* and has undoubtedly cost me countless potential friendships, relationships, job opportunities, you name it. it hurts especially bad thinking about how much richer my life would be if I was just wired normally. as of right now I’m in college and have 0 friends, have never had any of the quintessential college experiences, have never done anything of note with my life. I’ve gone weeks without speaking to people outside of family/work; lonely isn’t even the right word to describe this. I am completely alone and don’t have the tools to fix it.

i always used to be insecure about being ugly, now i just wish someone told teenage/preteen me to stop obsessing over my looks. i think being neurodivergent is legit worse than being ugly, though they both suck. But at least if you’re ugly you can always just look better - I would easily take a massive ding to my looks with no hesitation if it meant i could have a normal social life.

Good afternoon, everyone!

I’m lonely as fuck. I’m 45, a single male, and all of my friends have wives and kids. It’s hard to make friends at my age.

We talk a lot about being independent, self-sufficient, and comfortable being alone.

And I am. I've built a life I'm proud of.

I work hard, take care of myself, keep busy, and keep showing up.

But somewhere along the way, I think we forget that human connection isn't a luxury— it's a fundamental need.

I'm touch-starved. I miss the simple things.

A genuine hug, cuddling on the couch, someone’s hand in mine, or just feeling comfortable and safe being close to another person.

But it's more than physical touch. I want to feel like I'm worth someone's time. Worth getting to know.

Worth building a real connection with, whether that's a meaningful friendship, platonic affection, physical closeness, or something that eventually grows into a relationship.

I don't need someone to complete me. I just miss feeling wanted, appreciated, and genuinely connected to another human being.

I’m 21 F and it’s so hard rn. I struggle w body image issues, and I am very self conscious. I want to do all these things like travel, go to the gym, make more friends, etc. But I feel like ppl judge me to quickly or I over think every interaction. I’m also at the stage where it’s like I want a relationship but I also don’t because I feel like I can’t give my all…like I want that intimacy but I feel like I’m not in the right state for it. Ik it’s selfish of me to think that way, but I like cuddling and watching movies w someone, or like going on cute fall dates and wearing match PJ’s and just having that one person where u can be yourself around. Watching horror movies and laughing and dumbass tiktoks together. No matter how much I tell myself I am okay being a lone…I rly do want a pattern.

Never have anyone to talk to or hang with. Never have anyone to meet up with, go to the movies or get some food, tag along at the store, nothing. Im convinced folks just dont socialize in the real world anymore when its really just me, a huge loner in a seperate world from the rest of everyone. I dont know how do you get a friend or even date in real life. I can try but its only brought me false hope.

Maybe in another life ?

Nearly 32 and never had a love life , never even touched a girl.

I'm a single mother to a 12 year old with very significant disabilities. I work full time (teacher)and have very little in the way of family support and almost 0 local connections/friendships. Im terrified every moment something happens like the sink breaks and needs repaired, one of us gets sick, or the car has issues...

...I was married but that person ended up cheating so I ended the relationship. [Not my son's biological father, he's long absent] I almost wish I would've just kept my ex husband around despite all of the pain. At least I wouldn't be spending so much time alone.

I know I have my son, but he is non verbal and autistic and that in it of itself makes "getting out there" to Mom's groups, etc almost impossible. I also fear I won't even find a partner willing to be with someone of my age with the burden of a high needs child such as mine.

I just dont want to do it alone anymore. Its not only lonely but exhausting. I wish I had someone to lean on and share life with.

23 male broke and trying my hardest... I had to move away from friends because my foster family were awful to me and threw me out during my lowest point in life

Now I am left with the harsh reality of knowing my mother ended her life because of me... All because I didnt have the heart to see her during her lowest point...

Now Im wrestling with guilt from pain and trauma caused by others... and Im alone in this dark and sour world... just me and the my brothers... fate is a bitch

It's been 3 yrs since this all happened and while doing better it feels like I just cant find others I can belong to... ppl my age are just in better stages of their life and I am just lost feels like Im always drifting towards uncertainty

It really just sucks man

I'm currently under 18 and i feel so left behind. Everyone my age has friends. And look at me. Im isolated and lonely as hell. I have no friends in real life, i dont go out much because im homeschooled, and even family doesnt care. My days are always same. I feel so lonely. Even online friends dont care about me at all. I literally spend my days daydreaming about basic human life. I sometimes wonder, if something bad happened to me who would even care besides my family? And family would only care because they have to. I literally have no one. People say its gonna get better when i grow up, but i dont know. What if it doesnt? What if i stay lonely forever? This might be a stupid post ,its my first time posting please dont judge me. But loneliness really ruined me.

The realization that I will most likely never be in a serious long term relationship with a woman I desire hit me like a freight train. I'm just too screwed up in the head and too many awful things have happened to me in life that have completely destroyed my mental health to the point that I don't see myself getting unstuck. I'm too deeply hurt beyond healing and no good woman is going to want to be with a man who is as screwed up as I am. I never wanted a mansion or a fancy car, never wanted that 6 figure job. Just wanted that special woman in my life who made me feel loved and validated. That person to share every moment of life with, good or bad. To share my experiences with and be physically and emotionally intimate with. I'll never have that because of my piss poor mental health. Not to mention I don't have a job because I'm on disability and I don't have a drivers license or a car. Good lord I don't blame these good women for not wanting anything to do with me. I'm a fucking loser who was destined to be alone and miserable.

I moved to Melbourne 4.5 years ago, and they were right when they said you can't run away from your problems.

I'd always had trouble with intimate relationships, whether friendship or romantic. A fear of vulnerability I discovered, stemming from a difficult childhood and a broken family.

But something about being 24, my mental health has taken a turn and I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. Maybe it was the ignorance and hopefulness of my early 20s that kept me afloat - but I'm truly feeling the exhaustion from never feeling like I belong, and I genuinely don't know what to do.

I am social, most people think I would never have an issue like this. I found out recently there's a term for those like me - a floater friend. Well liked but never belonging.

I do the sports, I do the clubs, I go to therapy, I reach out, I plan. But it seems that everyone around me has their tribe, all but me. Almost 5 years of trying has left me a shell of a person, please help.

22m I have absolutely no one and nothing. I have tried so hard to become one of them. I try to learn their interests and hobbies and all the social manners but I failed when I speak they know me as the monster I am. I think I may be autistic or neurodivergent. I have had anti depressants that did not help me. But nothing has ever been as horrible as when I am being myself, my mind is not to be trusted, everything I say is not the right thing and all my movements and hobbies are the wrong ones. The thing that motivates me is delusion and idiocy and ignorance because I don’t tell myself that things will work out and that I can change and that my life isn’t so bad then I will awake from the blatant truth in front of me that I am disgusting creature that isn’t supposed to exist and unwanted by all. Loneliness is proof that this world doesn’t want me. You may say that I just need to take better care of myself and put myself out there more but what if I told you that I did all those things and genuinely believed that if I dressed a little better and joined a club that everyone wouldn’t notice that I was a monster. I know you think I am crazy and that this is all in my head but I promise you I was given more than enough evidence to believe what I believe. I would love to tell myself I am someone but there is no amount of delusion that I can impose of myself to ignore whats right in front of me.

I feel like there is a gaping chasm that separates me from other humans. I was watching a YouTuber I like and she had a video where she speaks in her native language instead of English and it just made me think of the idea of disconnection.

I feel like no matter how hard I try or even how nice someone is....I am still the person unable to connect. I don't understand their language. I don't click with them or they don't click with me. I am too broken or mentally ill. I'm just the same suicidal headcase stuck in his room isolated and alone unable to connect. I'm like an alien that doesn't understand your language.

Never get a chance to get a long friendship, never get a love story, no place to listen my story.

I'm so fuck up and depressed as hell. I keep imagine someone beside me in my mind and talking to something that never exist.

I really wish I never exist at my 30's years.

I have trouble opening up to people 🙁And i don't really have friends to begin with . Having some stuff going on i'm still trying to really get seen for, That possibly couldve been prevented if i had a better mama Lol. Ugh. Thank you for reading

Does anyone relate to this? I feel like I’ve spent most of my life being teased or betrayed by friends. My therapist thinks I might be autistic, which could help explain why I’ve always struggled to connect with people and build friendships. I’ve usually only had one or two close friends at a time.
Now that I’m older and have gone through a traumatic breakup, I’m exhausted. I’ve spent so long trying to fit in and build connections, but lately, I don’t even want to make friends anymore. I’m tired of feeling like I have to prove myself to people or laugh along with jokes that hurt my feelings just to be accepted. I often feel like people aren’t being genuine or don’t understand where I’m coming from.
The social media thing makes it harder, too. Whenever I go out with friends, it feels like there’s always a camera in my face, and it makes me uncomfortable. I just want to enjoy spending time together without everything needing to be recorded or posted.
Maybe I’ve been around the wrong people, but has anyone else gotten to a point where friendship feels exhausting instead of comforting? like any time I try to establish boundaries people just get mad at me.

Every so often i get to a point were the only way to escape loneliness is with hours long me time... yes you guessed correctly, masturbation is the only thing that helps me forget how lonely I am...

theres this girl i like and i genuinely have no idea who to even invite or to be my right man when we do marry, i feel so fucking alone bro its especially bad when its in the culture to have a big marriage 🥀

​

Today is my birthday, and honestly, I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling.

I'm a fourth-year engineering student. College has been a rollercoaster for me. I made some amazing friends, especially one person who was once my best friend. We shared so many memories, and there was a time when I genuinely felt loved and cared for. We used to spend time together, share things, and be a part of each other's lives.

But somewhere along the way, things changed. We had a friendship breakup, and even though time has passed, I don't think I've completely moved on from it.

Today, I saw my college friends going to a Garba event together without even letting me know. Maybe they didn't mean to hurt me. Maybe they just wanted to go together. I understand that people have their own lives and can make their own plans, but seeing it still hurt me more than I expected.

And the worst part is that it's happening on my birthday.

I don't know why, but birthdays make you think about the people who used to be there for you. You start remembering how things were before, how loved you once felt, and how different everything is now.

I think what hurts the most is that my former best friend is still around, but we aren't close anymore. She's moved on, has other friends, and probably sees me as just another person now. Maybe I'm not as important to her as she once was, but a part of me still struggles to accept that.

I regret chasing the friendship so many times. I regret trying so hard to bring things back to how they were. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't just let go earlier instead of hurting myself repeatedly.

I've turned off WhatsApp because I don't have the courage to open it and see what's there. I don't know who will wish me a happy birthday, who will remember, or whether the people I secretly hope will message me actually will.

I'm not switching off my phone because, somewhere inside, I think I'm still waiting. But at the same time, I'm scared to look.

It's such a strange feeling. Wanting someone to remember you while being afraid of finding out that they don't.

I know people grow apart. I know friendships change, and I know I can't force anyone to stay in my life. But knowing all of that doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm not expecting everyone to make my birthday special. I just miss the feeling of having people who genuinely care about me, people with whom I don't have to question my place in their lives.

Today, I don't know whether I should cry, sleep, distract myself, or just let the day pass.

I'm turning another year older, but instead of feeling excited, I'm sitting here thinking about the friendships I've lost and the people I wish were still close to me.

Does anybody else struggle with making friends as an adult? I’ve tried this whole year to put myself out there more and more and it’s been really hard as an introvert but I’m proud of myself for all of the things I’ve done to make friends. I joined a walking group and two book clubs and I’ve been pretty consistent going to both. I’m feeling a little annoyed because I sent a text to people I met from my walking group and nobody replied. This text was just stating that I was sorry I couldn’t attend the last event and that I would hope to see them soon and I would love to see them at a bakery we all love soon. I tend to feel stupid when I feel vulnerable because I don’t like opening up but I do feel stupid for sending this text and getting no reply. Making friends as an adult is so hard 😅

I have had no friends my entire life and am 29. I have nothing to do all day because every job rejects me. I have sent thousands of applications over the past three years. I’ve also tried to make friends with hundreds of people (tens of thousands including online) and am always rejected.

I especially never find anyone who is depressed and lonely like me. And at the least, serious and somber. It is valid to have that as a personality type and want to talk about serious and somber things in a serious and somber tone. Why is it so impossible for me even when I see people like this with friends? They reject me too.

I have people I would call my friends. I’ve known them for years and years and years now. But whenever I ask if they want to spend time together, there’s some reason why they can’t.
I’m not assuming they don’t have busy lives and are trying to brush me off, but that’s how it feels. They can’t make time for a coffee? Really?
It just sucks. Idk.

to anyone who may need to read this.

hey there, how are you? no seriously, how are you? tell me about your day, tell me how life is like currently. its okay if it’s not going particularly well, and it’s okay to not be ok.

i want to tell you that i am so proud of you, there is alot going on in the world, a few good and a lot more bad, so i understand how hard it can get, even to do the most simplest tasks or have motivation or anything.

anything you did today, even as small as getting out of bed for example, i am so so proud of you. the fight has been long and perhaps it will continue, but i want you to know that you aren’t alone.

not to mention how beautiful/handsome you look today.

i love you, you’re doing such a great job:)