So I have been going for walks in the evening lately. And I see people hanging out with their friends. Going in restaurants with their friends or family. Being social. Living their lives and so on.

And then there is me. 28m. Single. Feeling like shit and anxious every day due to ptsd. Having barely enough energy to leave my house.

Online I see so many people struggling with mental health but If I go outside it's like I'm the only fcked up person. Everyone is more confident, more social, more healthy in general. Jesus, even Teenagers have more going on in their lives than me.

I don't know if becoming healthy is part of my destiny. I will probably die miserable. But whatever.

You guys doing something in your freetime? Like going for walks or do you stay at home?

I pose a question to all of us: What would you do if you found a significant other?

I'll provide a small example with my own answer to the question:

I meet a girl who is also saving her virginity for marriage, then we try to build a mutually beneficial relationship towards the goal of marriage as partners or as equals.

Things like talking and listening to each other, enjoying our time with one another in each of our interests even if she or I do not particularly enjoy that interest, building trust, making plans to deal with recovering when times are harsh.

What would yours be?

People told me in the past that it is not a competition, but you realize that IT IS a competition once you are always the loser.

35M here, virgin and never dated, so literally 0 experience with women. Despite initiating conversations with women, 90 percent simply rejecting me without barely a word spoken. The few who show some interest and I have a convo with, I noticed once another guy comes or forcing himself into our conversation, I lost her and all the attention goes to him. I used to be chill about it, but being in the game for 8 years now and facing this over and over made me quite bitter and frustrated.

I would like to know what I can do better, in a way that I won't lose her and how I deal with other guys who are doing better than me.

Like, similar personality types, high introversion, fear of talking to people romantically, no friends, don’t go out, ugly, short, old, fat etc?

I’ve lost a lot of weight I’m still ugly. People still make fun of me for how I look. I can’t wait to get plastic surgery to be more physically attractive so I have more confidence in myself. I get rejected a lot by guys in my looks-match range that it’s so bad. I know I wasn’t blessed with good genes in my family. I have small eyes and thin lips. My nose is too big for my face. I have major facial asymmetry. I thought my weight loss would make me more confident but people are lying to my face. I feel doomed until I get the surgeries I need. I have TMJ and I’m tongue tied. So that’s what stopping. Haven’t gotten fixed since I was kid. I guess I’ll be forever alone

Honestly, I don't know what she sees in me, but I must be doing something right because she seems to laugh at all my jokes, even the ones I don't even find funny myself. We went bowling and had such a fun time being terrible at it together.

The eye contact felt more intense this time than it did on our first date, and we'd already planned to meet up again before we even said goodbye. She definitely seems like girlfriend material, but I know there's still a long way to go.

We didn't kiss, but there was some physical contact while we were bowling, and the hug at the end felt so much better than the one we shared on our first date.

I feel like the ball is in my court now, because It seems like i can't do anything wrong with her. Still, I keep struggling with these depressive thoughts telling me I'm not good enough, and sometimes I just feel like giving up but the alternative of being FA keeps me going

I have all the bad external traits that is imagineable (thin hair, ugly flat face with small eyes, fat but flat chested with no curves etc).

When i was in middle school, thre was a boy who threatened to punch me because he thought i had a crush on him. Now in uni, while that kind of aggressive reaction is gone, i can sense men intentionally acting more cold and distant, to the extent that it's sometimes outright rude.

I get that they are scared that something ugly like me would catch feelings for them, and therefore they are trying to prevent that. I wouldn't want to date someone hideous looking as me too, and in fact,I've never had crushes in my life because i was always well aware that i'm too hideous -looking to be loved. But sometimes i wish i could atleast get basic humanly respect and kindness.

:')

I'm tired lol

About a month ago, I opened up and shared something personal about myself that I previously kept very guarded. Thought it was safe to do so, but the reception was not as reassuring as I’d hoped. And a few days later, well let’s just say it wasn’t a secret any longer and now I’m being ghosted left, right and center

Guys were so horrible to me as a teen as well. Girls were mean, but guys always had to make it known how unattractive they found me. Even out in public, stupid schoolboys would laugh and comment on my looks with their friends. Even now, as an adult, I feel uneasy around young men or groups of men.

As adults, I find it ironic that some of those boys grow up to be FA, in*ls, or find it hard to get a girlfriend, but want us to feel sorry for them and the male loneliness epidemic.

So for context I am 28 M gay and I have never been in a relationship. Sure I have some dates or two but I always end up getting ghosted. In my DnD friend group I met someone nice, gay, and kinda handsome and I did my best to really get to know him . Sadly he mentioned he is already taken and I just shut down instantly. I left the group voice call and called it a night mentioning a "very nasty headache" but really I just cried of too much envy. This loneliness is controlling me and I wish it wasn't.

So I met someone at the end of last year on an app. We clicked instantly. At first everything was amazing, we were talking all the time. Shortly after we would meet in person too and let's just say things were advancing super fast, I could hardly belive it was real life. Safe to say at this stage I was falling hard. But what I didn't realize is that I was getting anxiously attached.

Then one day, she just randomly, out of the blue went like: don't text me for a week. No other communication at all. I didn't understand what was happening, and so naturally I panicked. I texted like crazy, asking all sorts of stuff like what's wrong? What did I do? Then after that the whole thing was like hot and cold. Sometime would be like: I love you, I want to keep you forever, other times would be like: there's no future, I don't see you as my boyfriend ever. Literally in no time at all too. Eventually things had to end. It was super painful and still is. At that time I did not have a clue what was going on, I was like why can't we be together?

Looking back at it, I don't blame her. I realized now that I was too anxious, put on too much pressure, relied on them too much emotionally, and much more. That's so bad. I was so focused on her that I completely lost myself. She was my only close friend too so maybe I was so scared of being alone again. But I think these actions are all unconcious though. Like I wasn't one day wake up and be like: Let's suffocate her, no of course not. I did not realize I was causing so much damage, I feel bad about what I've done. She probably did like me but I was too dangerous to keep long term. I'm trying to learn and work on myself.

The reason I post this here is because, the thought of forever alone is quite an anxious one. So a lot of you guys here are probably anxious preoccupied. Just watch out for that. Don't let it ruin anything, it could be friends, family, relationships, anything. Be secure. Be detached. Be complete. Thank you for reading.

I was diagnosed at autism since 3. Not the quirky kind but the kind where you are genueily off and don't know how to interact with other humans. It was bad enough to where I needed somebody to follow me around in elementary school everyday and I had no friends and was made fun off and excluded. I was made to feel I don't belong to the human species very early.

I then had to go to a disability school for middle. It was humiliating and they taught me to "socialize" where as most people can do that for free and I can't still do that well. I then went to a highschool with NTs again and needed accodmantions for foreign launague because I couldn't pass it because I'm stupid and worthless and disabled. I had no friends much less any romance. I sat alone every single day by myself because I knew everyone hated me. I graduated and cried because I knew everyone else made good memories meanwhile im a total worthless failure.

I then went to community college and did most of my classes online and didn't socialize because I was scared that everyone hates my disability and looks (I'm a 5'9 guy with meh face and very narrow frame like I am more scrawny then 95 percent of guys). I because I am a total genetic failure could pass all the classes except foreign language which the school litteraly needed to waive because I am worthless and can't even understand it if I study for hours because I can't remember anything. I tried to learn it harder then all my other classes but couldn't because my brain is inferior to everyone.

I only have one freind who is autisitc and besides that nobody else. No freind group ever. I have no romantic prospects either. I had 2 dates from apps this year but nothing happened likely because of my disbality. So even when my looks get me in door on apps nothing happens because I'm a total genetic failure and everyone knows. People know I'm autisitic when they see me. I don't have serious hope for long term relationship.

Parents abuse the help out of me especially when drinking about me having alopecia. I never had anyone and dont care of any relationship but my parents, but they seem to hate me. I tried and tried and work multiple jobs and gave them all the money I made and they still treat me like an embarrassment. I never got myself anything nice or even a new phone and I decided to get my dad a phone hoping he would appreciate it but he through it against the wall because the phone asked him for a Gmail account and he used hotmail. I’m completely destroyed by it. I don’t know what to do. I’m so depressed. I tried moving out but too expensive and wanted to share a place but a lot of people seem worded out by me. I hate myself

I am a 29 year old virgin who never had a girlfriend. I obviously don't have the dating results I desire. First of all, I have been using dating apps since 2016. I tried many many different pictures where people told me I look good, I paid for them and I tried to create an interesting profile overall but I only had 4 first dates in 10 years that lead to nowhere. Before 2020, I was rarely getting matches on dating apps. However since years, I didn't get a single match (without counting fake profiles and bots).

I get that we often get told that dating apps don't work and we should try getting dates organically in real life but all my friends are getting some matches while I strictly don't get any matches. I also tried getting dates in real life through friends, hobby groups and cold approaching but none of them ever worked. After my rejections in real life, I always got told that I am a very shy and quiet person and that repulses women.

I really struggle identifying my problem that explains my loneliness. I get that shyness and lack of confidence could be repulsive to women in real life but that doesn't explain my horrible online dating results. The dating app results suggest that I am probably very physically unattractive but when I compare myself to my friends who get dates through dating apps, I don't see myself uglier than them. I am taller and have a better hairline than many of them who get matches.

However, I have quite a big nose and I think I've never seen anyone who has a nose like mine in real life. When I was in high school, I was all the time bullied because of my nose. Now I still sometimes receive mean comments about my nose. I feel like my nose could be the reason why no woman wants to date me. I also have quite a lot gray hair for my age. Is it likely I am a lonely dude because of my big nose and my gray hair?

This is something that I thought about a few months ago, the worst thing she can say is "no," is a lie that is actually the second best thing she can say. so I started thinking what is the best to worst things she can say and I came up with the following.

(Best)

• A definite "yes,"- this one is self explanatory
• A definite "no," - she has a boyfriend (nothing I can about this), she finds me unattractive (if gives a reason even better, "bad breath", "dress style", "body odor"), in short a reason I can work on
• A polite or runabout "no" - here is where things, in my opinion things started getting ugly, I have gotten more than my fair share of these. ("I am to busy for a relationship", "I am working on myself", "i am not in a good place right now", the following really hurt "you are a great guy, but .....", "any girl would be lucky to have you") and we all know this is BS
• Humiliation - the worst i have gotten was that a girl laugh at me, which as far a humiliation goes not bad, but i at least know where i stand
• Hope - in my opinion the worst answer she can give is a form of hope, what has happened to me a few times is, she says yes, but need to iron the details later (when and where), so i spend my time and energy trying to set something up, looking up things to do, places to go, but the when and where never get set up. Then you finally give up and realize she never had any intention of actually meeting up

(Worst)

do you agree or would you change something, did i miss something

So, if one of my parents passes away as they grow older, I won't be able to handle the pressure alone. In fact, my whole body might freeze when I see my mom's dead body. That's how weak I am. I might not even be able to hold my phone in my hand. I've lost all hope, and I feel like I'll remain single until death takes me.

I don't know how well I'd do on dating apps. I look ok, and I'm non-white, and gay. I heard gay men get more attention on dating apps, but the only way to know for sure is to actually try it. I'm a bit scared to upload my face onto a dating app.

I think dating apps may work better for people who have trouble socializing, since it's all online. However, I may be wrong, and I want to hear about your experiences with dating apps. I feel like if I did actually have a meetup, it may not go well since I don't think I'm neurotypical.

For all my life i’ve been told I look like a nerd or people have made assumptions that I was one. I’m getting a bit tired of it. I think it mainly comes from how skinny I am and the glasses I have. But for some reason since I look “nerdy” people act like i’m the disney stereotype so they try to pick on me and see me as an easy target. People seem to want to turn there disney fantasies into reality and i’m sick of it. People for some reason always treated jockey guys as the cool ones while I get treated like the total loser. I’ve been going to the gym for months and still can’t gain any muscle. What’s funny is that fat guys get treated a bit more better than me sometimes too.

This is a repost from ask men advice i posted. I'm planning on going through with it. Just posting it here because I want to tell someone why and i can't do that in real life.

went to two therapists in my life. one in 2019 and one in 2023. I've always been a loner. as of now, I'm 27 and never hung out with anyone outside of a school, work, and meetup app or equivalent environment, unfortunately. when I told my first therapist this, I gotta give him credit, he tried hard. showing me different events and even texting me things happening around town off work hours. He really didn't have to do that. unfortunately, none of it worked. I get along fine but it never goes beyond arms length.

one of the things I talked about a lot was sexual frustration. he tried giving me dating advice and helped me set up dating apps but that didn't work. He outta the blue asked me if I thought of escorts. his rational for my case is "the way you're describing your interactions with women, I suspect there's a fear emanating off you that they can feel. it might ultimately be best to gain some experience to help ease your nerves cause as you are now, I can't really see someone giving you a chance." I was stunned silent. afterwards, I looked up online if anybody had gone through something similar and nearly all responses said "drop that therapist." and I did. haven't seen him since.

couple years later, 2022/2023 can't remember the exact year at this point. I tried someone else. there's some differences, of course, but it ended at the same crossroads as before. I've now experienced two professionals telling me to do something illegal. (though to give the second guy credit, he said to go to a place where it was legal like parts of Nevada or the Netherlands.) I dropped him too and haven't gone back to therapy since.

cut to the beginning of 2025. I just moved to a new city and wanted to put my best foot forward. I joined a sports center, a running club, a young adults meetup group, and made the effort of going out more nights for stuff like dancing and bar crawling. none of it worked. I've many aquantiances but no friends and my sexual frustration is getting really bad as I write this and am now thinking of just biting the bullet and hiring someone. it'll either be where I'm at now, illegally, or I go on a sex fueled vacation to a spot where it's legal.

I want a couple of second opinions and the reason why I tried to go into as much detail as possible is to show that I've been trying. all the platitude advice is stuff I've read and tried myself. Maybe this entire thing is just me wanting to vent. have a nice day.

Edit 1:didn't think I'd get this many replies and having them being supportive. Even the ones that says don't do it was from a very understanding poverty, and for that, thank you. I probably should've told what I hope to accomplish with this plan. My therapist put it best. "You are so fixated on the idea of sex that you don't approach women like the humans that they are. This might help you shake off the hyperfixation." I'm hoping that this will happen and be able to talk to people more casually.

I'm autistic (diagnosed about 3 years ago). It's ruined any chance I might've had to date. Women all think I'm a freak, especially the neurotypical ones. I don't even have the kind that makes me super smart or good at math, I have the shitty kind that makes me obsessed with pop culture.

I'm someone who's been experiencing loneliness since I was a teenager and I've tried friendships a lot but it never did anything for me regardless of the quality of them. Like I've just come to accept that my loneliness will be best satisfied by relationships instead. A good quality relationship just gives you way more than friendships ever will.

So I feel very delusional thinking that I'll meet my man one day when to me that's absolutely not true and I've gotten approached by men outside and got called beautiful but they never asked me for my number, and I still feel like Im in fear because of not finding a boyfriend although I did have a lot of guy friends when I was in the hospital and met this very handsome guy and he was very nice to me and he even told me I look like this one celebrity and then some other guy who I was talking to thought I was Cleo patra in my past life because of how beautiful I am , also even though I'm beautiful I still don't have a boyfriend also Its not like I wine about wanting a bf because I'm not always like this, most of the times I forget about the idea of a relationship and move on to doing other things at home that keeps me busy but yeah I should probably learn to be okay with being single cause that's all I've got

Social skills really are a muscle. I've been alone for so long (years) my ability to socialize has atrophied to basically nothing. I've gotten so used to it I barely even feel human, I feel so alien to everyone. I could theoretically improve, but it would be too painful/cringy and too late. The juice wouldn't be worth the squeeze.

The only irl socialization I have is dealing with coworkers at my job, no actual conversations. I don't even desire to socialize but the intrinsic need for human connection is always hovering over me.

Sometimes I'm hopeful I can meet someone by some miracle, other times I'm realistic and end up here.