How do I make friends i ask this because i have people i talk to at college but i have no real friends that I hang out with outside of college I don't know how to socialise and i don't socialise nor do i have the confidence to socialise whenever I try which is rarely i always over think thing and second guess myself im wondering is there any advice to stop overthinking and stop second myself

As a 29 year old virgin who never had a girlfriend and who is totally invisible to women, there are many songs that remind me of my struggles. The reggaeton song Diles by Bad Bunny and Ozuna reminds me of the girl who once gave me a lot of hope and how disappointed I was after she rejected me. The song Soltera by Lunay and Bad Bunny also reminds me of my loneliness for some reason.

Alias by In Flames is another song that reminds me of my loneliness probably due to the melancoholic atmosphere, angry vocals and guitar riffs. The song I associate most strongly with my loneliness with is Trust by Megadeth. I feel like this song is really describing my struggle with romantic loneliness, especially when Dave sings "God help me please, I am on my knees".

There are also some songs that give me hope and make me feel like everything will work out one day. The biggest one is Takeover by Katatonia. The awesome guitar riffs just fill me with hope. What are the songs that you associate your loneliness with?

I've had close family as a way to keep me going through the years but last july had a big fight and since then its never been the same. I still have to live with them, but should think about moving out and dying somewhere else. I have a decent job for now, but still family don't seem to respect nor stop all domestic violence and fights. Been like this since small, and growing up this environment is probably one of the reason why I'm Forever Alone now. I like to think its a gift and a curse, curse obviously it is mental stress and emotional pressure, gift cuz nobody loves me so I don't have to worry about breaking anybody's heart.

Work is remote, and company not so doing great so didn't had expected promotion on what I thought. But still my boss was able to give out some RSUs as bonus which kinda not bad at this economy (but again vesting requires me to wait long so dont know the future of that). But thing is earlier I used to say such things with family, but these days I don't think I should. Like I've put my whole life in their emotional stress at home growing up, finding job, even being at top in academics. But they don't find all those and just are not understanding of my hard efforts. I won't deny of their hardships too, but they should atleast respect other people.

So I extended this experiment to a month, then to 3 months, then to 6 months - the same exact result every time. Nada.

Despite having a phone full of contacts, I got a total of 0 calls and 0 texts from them. To be brutally honest, I don’t even feel anything from it, it’s really as if the future me already expected this to happen. Because it’s exactly what has happened my entire life. In fact, I would have been more surprised if someone did call or text me.

I am not bitter. Everyone has a right to choose who they wish to talk to. All I am trying to say is that reciprocity simply isn’t something that exists in my life for whatever reason.

One of the most fundamental examples…decade after decade, I have always wished my “friends” happy birthday wishes, yet during my birthday the only messages I get back are from automated store loyalty programs who offer me a coupon on my birthday.

So today, I deleted all my contacts. There’s no point having them when I am the only one initiating and carrying the conversations every single time.

It was an extremely freeing experience.

I’m very lucky in my life, I have good friends and family, they aren’t perfect, and neither am I, but they are always there to help and support me.

Yet I feel alone because I don’t have my person, and I just wonder why I can’t accept being alone, why do I want to be in a relationship. Why can’t I cut away wanting to be loved in that way. I honestly wish I could, I’ve got so many good opportunities going for me in my life and this thing of not wanting me to be alone and to be chosen is holding me back.

It sucks, it really does. This stuff keeps me up at night, I don’t sleep well, I’m tired at work, I don’t have the energy to explore my hobbies.

Surely life must be better than this, and surely there should be a way to cut this out of my life.

it's so fucking useless and a burden to my existence. I'm developing some real deep resentment towards how people treat me sometimes. and i just wanna keep ranting about it because it's reached a boiling point.

We are seen as a red flag, most of us just lack the experience with women because we are shy or didn’t develop confidence or whatever else.. while the guy who slept with women and developed confidence is seen as a safe bet, the irony!

I’ve always struggled to find a girlfriend, even though I was friends with a lot of girls in school growing up. I have asked out plenty of girls in my 22 years on this earth, but to no avail. It’s always never just a rejection, it’s always a lie buried underneath. One time a girl said she wasn’t looking for anyone, only to have a boyfriend then next week. I’ve tried everything I can think of: school, friend groups, going in public, speed, dating, and dating apps. But they always are disappointing. There are so many guys out there, why would anyone choose wheelchair bound guy like me. People say girls aren’t that shallow, but I know they always see my wheelchair and never try to really see me. I don’t have a lot of fears in life, but my biggest fear is dying alone, despite everyone saying there’s someone out there for me.

I feel so wrong when thinking of being cuddly and affectionate to a person I would like, as if shouldn't entertain those thoughts. Like it's wrong of me to think they could appreciate time with me. I'd mostly be a bother.

Feeling lonely. Would like to have a friend to interact with. Check my profile if anyones interested preferably age 40+ years.

I mean if I totally challenged myself , do self improvement, put myself out there,etc... that there is nothing more I can do . I have to believe that God has a wife for me hidden in some place ? I already believed this for years and put in the effort. But everyday I become worse than before. So what are your thoughts about this?

It's impossible to attract any women at all because of my racial background. I always feel like I am being judged because of my race, and I can tell that women really hate seeing my brown face. It feels like I am fighting gravity just trying to get a woman to treat me like a human being for even a second. All of this rejection has resulted in severe self-hatred. I feel like an actual sub-human because I have never been treated like a complete human being in my entire miserable existence. I am automatically a sexual and social pariah because I happened to be born the wrong race.

Being a brown man is an absolute death sentence in the dating market.

Being a South Asian man is functionally a disability that turns you into a social and sexual leper. If I could choose my race, I would pick absolutely anything over the one I got.

I'm literally the only person I know IRL thats struggling with this loneliness stuff so much. Granted, I don't know a lot of people but it got me thinking... am I just a total weirdo? Or are there more like us, but they just put an act on in public (as I do)?

Like I genuinely don't see other losers like me on the streets. I don't see friendless, kissless, ugly unlovable people on the streets, and then you have me. I probably stand out a lot. But why do I feel so invisible if I stand out? Why doesn't anyone want to get to know me? Do they just have a radar that says "stay the fuck away from this guy!!!!"? What have I done wrong to not deserve love and friends? I have good social skills too, you just gotta talk to me first...and it seems like nobody wants to be the one to initiate the talking. Why do I always have to be the one? Fuck this rotten world..

Felt like venting, I'm sure most of you can relate.

my social ineptitude permeates into my entire life and has undoubtedly cost me countless potential friendships, relationships, job opportunities, you name it. it hurts especially bad thinking about how much richer my life would be if I was just wired normally. as of right now I’m in college and have 0 friends, have never had any of the quintessential college experiences, have never done anything of note with my life. I’ve gone weeks without speaking to people outside of family/work; lonely isn’t even the right word to describe this. I am completely alone and don’t have the tools to fix it.

i always used to be insecure about being ugly, now i just wish someone told teenage/preteen me to stop obsessing over my looks. i think being neurodivergent is legit worse than being ugly, though they both suck. But at least if you’re ugly you can always just look better - I would easily take a massive ding to my looks with no hesitation if it meant i could have a normal social life.

I am currently obtaining my doctoral degree and I’ve never been more single. I just want to get together and just do certain couple things, and not let things progress. I want to connect with someone who’s also at the same level but it’s hard.

I'm 21M and I've never been in a relationship. At this point, I honestly struggle to even imagine what it would be like to be with someone. I know people say I'm still young, but the whole concept feels completely out of reach for me.

Being neurodivergent has always made this stuff infinitely harder for me. It’s not like I never tried anything. But almost every time, things just fizzled out or fell apart before they even truly started, which only reinforces this feeling of hopelessness.

I'm fulfilled in everything, I have a degree, I have a good job, I don't depend on anyone, I go to the gym, I'm in good shape, I have everything I'd like to buy, the other things will come with time, like an apartment and a car, so I'm not unhappy about that. I already have all the focus on myself, unlike many, why does my time never come? Sometimes I think I'll be alone forever, every woman who comes into my life disappears just as easily. I feel alone.

This is a crushing realization I unfortunately went through recently. We both met in professional school. I didn't feel much attraction towards her at first. This gave me confidence I otherwise would not have had around women I find attractive. Over the last 2 months, as I learned more about her, the attraction grew. She was one of the few people I could be vulnerable with and share anything with.

She expressed her feelings 2 weeks ago. She found me attractive, admires my maturity, and said that I was the best man she has ever met. For the first time in my life, I felt the stars aligned; I finally had my feelings reciprocated, but the universe had other plans. This was it. This was going to be my first ever relationship at the age of 25 (26 very soon). She found all of these qualities she was looking for in a man, yet she still didn't want to choose me for whatever reason. This is what hurts the most. Admitting feelings for each other while the other person doesn't want to act on them.

She didn't want to risk losing such a good friend, and in another life, things would have worked out, in her words. We no longer talk much, so we both lost in the end. I guess the friendship didn't mean much to her. This has affected my relationship with my other friends since we are in the same friend group, and it has made group gatherings awkward.

I believe some of us are just destined to be alone forever, and I happen to be one of them. I've used this last week to come to terms with my loneliness. I wasted half of my 20s chasing women and friends. I'm going to start doing things for myself for once in my life and pick up hobbies I should have done in my early 20s.

So yes, don't get your hopes up, even if they express their feelings. You might be devastated just like me.

I've been feeling sad lately because my best online friend of 8 years has been bullying me a lot and telling me that we were never friends and I'm just a means for her to feel superior to someone inferior like me, and so I've been looking for IRL friends now. I was at a fast food restaurant and some very kind lady was talking to some stranger because he had no friends, but I was too afraid to join in the conversation myself because I'm afraid of people, and I have trouble approaching people and talking to them, and I started to feel sad because I felt like I couldn't join in their conversation because I was too afraid to talk to them irl, and then she left and came back this time with her service animal, and I'm afraid of animals too so when it approached me I fell out of my chair and scratched my leg on the way down because I was trying to move away, and then she started saying, "I'm so sorry he won't hurt you he won't hurt you" and I got up with all my food and I threw it all out and she kept saying "You don't have to leave" but i was too embarrassed at that point and I left and started crying.

Ever since I became a adult i’ve noticed fat people always calling me skinny or a skeleton and acting like they’re some tough muscular guy when in reality they’re just big cuz they’re fat. I don’t know why people care so much that i’m skinny. Back then people only cared if you were fat but it seems like respecting people started normalizing respecting fat people to their face now so people started insulting skinny guys instead. But don’t get me wrong muscular guys call me skinny too but it’s mainly the fat ones all the time.

That’s it. There is nothing more to say. I’m tired of my life, of myself, of everything in this world.

Was just skimming through a post where there was a thread where people were talking about how those who want a community for people who are truly isolated should go here instead.

I mean I knew this already, that r/lonely is a subreddit for the concept of loneliness and it can take many forms, but it just feels ironic in a way that some people on that sub are directed to here, lol. Like being exiled.

So I am a college student and I feel like there’s a time and a place for every damn thing socializing included. People tryna pressure me into making friends in college, which I don’t give a fuck about. Yes I’m lonely all the fucking time but college is not a fucking place for making friends. Let’s be real for just a second. You don’t get a degree for being the most sociable person. However, you do get one for studying and actually giving a damn about your education. If you really want to socialize that bad, go to a nightclub or a coffee shop or some shit like that.