How does someone even make friends in pretty rural areas of the U.S.? I feel like I’m the only person in my town who actually has more geeky interests. Pretty much the only things people around me do for fun is sports and drinking. I have a bad familial history with alcohol and pretty much completely abstain from alcohol.

I have had no friends my entire life and am 29. I have nothing to do all day because every job rejects me. I have sent thousands of applications over the past three years. I’ve also tried to make friends with hundreds of people (tens of thousands including online) and am always rejected.

I especially never find anyone who is depressed and lonely like me. And at the least, serious and somber. It is valid to have that as a personality type and want to talk about serious and somber things in a serious and somber tone. Why is it so impossible for me even when I see people like this with friends? They reject me too.

hi. yk its bad when you go on reddit to feel better because other people feel this too.

im a 2 year student and i made no friends. i have a severe social anxiety and i always used to hold onto one person everywhere and i never could just have casual relationships in a class. i either have a friend i go with everywhere or dont talk with others at all. im scared of talking casually i cant do that. so i havent found friends - means im totally alone, silent for hours.

i was so smart in high school. i was one of the best. i was looking forward to uni. and then i turned up being lonely. i never had this. i always had someone. somehow. being so lonely just killed me guys. i hoped and tried for a few months and then i stopped. its been a year since i just accepted this hell of a reality. im failing academically and i hate myself again as much as i only did at 12yo.

i also almost dont have friends left at all, just 2 people in my life. uni makes me cry. i sit in lecture, its interesting, i wanna listen, but when i focus i start crying. im tense i hate seeing everyone with someone they are friends with. they are cool people. i could be friends with them. why tf am i not. i skip classes and fail deadlines and my parents pressure me all the time

i escape to fandoms and procrastinate and i lost my academic potential, desire to live and i cry and cry and cry and get irritated at everyone

and all because of stupid social anxiety

I moved to Melbourne 4.5 years ago, and they were right when they said you can't run away from your problems.

I'd always had trouble with intimate relationships, whether friendship or romantic. A fear of vulnerability I discovered, stemming from a difficult childhood and a broken family.

But something about being 24, my mental health has taken a turn and I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. Maybe it was the ignorance and hopefulness of my early 20s that kept me afloat - but I'm truly feeling the exhaustion from never feeling like I belong, and I genuinely don't know what to do.

I am social, most people think I would never have an issue like this. I found out recently there's a term for those like me - a floater friend. Well liked but never belonging.

I do the sports, I do the clubs, I go to therapy, I reach out, I plan. But it seems that everyone around me has their tribe, all but me. Almost 5 years of trying has left me a shell of a person, please help.

I'm lonely. I don't have any friends, my family avoids me, and I'm bland, broke, and dependent. I don't need a girlfriend, just a friend or partner I can vibe and venture with. I know I'm only 23, but I feel like headbutting concrete or turning into a drunk clown and my only relief are the TV shows I cherish and envy. Is there something wrong with me?

I (ftm 22) and my friend (mtf 22) have been friends since the first year of college. When we met she was in a very bad place, contemplating suicide and failing every single one of her classes. She almost got kicked out of the university for maintaining such a low GPA. We became friends by coincidence because I was going through a roommate problem and caught her in the hallway to ask for help, and we have been talking since.

I am in my first semester of a masters program and she is in her last two semesters before supposedly graduating, and everything I thought I knew about our friendship turned out to be a lie. I can admit I wasn't always a great friend, I struggle with mental health and lashing out and being angry when I'm stressed (and in school I am perpetually stressed). I started arguments, I asked her for a lot of help on homework when I was deeply struggling with depression. She did all of that, too. We struggled together, we stayed up late so many days just talking or playing games and trying to survive together.

I thought she was my best friend. I thought we would have a future where we would finish school together and live together. I thought she cared about me as much as I cared about her. Then last summer happened and everything apparently changed. She got new friends, online friends and some in-person friend she let me meet once. Then she started going cold on me, wouldn't want to sit in my room like we always did just watching videos or talking. She became more reluctant to help me on homework. She started treating me like I was more of an inconvenience in her life than her friend. She didn't tell me about these new friends until the semester started, and I will admit that set me off in a way that scares me and made me genuinely consider getting a diagnosis of something. I tried to overdose on Benadryl, I drank half a bottle of some cheap vodka I got from the gas station in one sitting, sat outside in the middle of town next to the train tracks until she picked me up, considered suicide more actively than I ever had before. I begged her to tell me why I wasn't enough, why she needed to hide this from me, why her getting these new friends meant she had to phase away from me so drastically.

What stung worse was that I told her that I had done a lot for her, and she said that I didn't. She reduced all of our years of being friends into saying that I had never done anything for her and she had helped herself this entire time. I told her that wasn't true, but she won't believe it. I asked her once if she had ever even considered me a friend after all this time if she thinks like that, and she told me basically that she had only stayed because she liked the attention I gave her, and now that she was getting it from other people, too, she didn't have to "put up with me" as much. My only in person friend after I spent so many years socially isolated and she was using me to fuel her attention needs.

I've been really struggling in this masters program. I've dropped two classes this first semester already (from 4 down to 2) and I am going down to one next semester if I even make it there. I have to beg her to help me on some assignments, I have to beg her to spend time with me, I have to beg her to sit with me, and more than often she won't. When I'm upset at things she says or does she will walk out while I'm mid-sentence after staring at me and not engaging in any meaningful conversation. She will ask "are you done" while I'm trying to explain how what she does is hurting me and making it difficult to live.

Why are people like this? Why do people take other lonely people and use them until they are in a better place to find something new and then ditch those people that dedicate so much of their time to them? Why can I look her in her eyes and yell at her that she is making me feel awful with how she treats me and she can stare at me with the most dead-pan look and not even pretend to care? Am I really just meant to be completely alone my entire life, and if I'm not, I'm just being used? I don't understand. I don't think I'll ever understand.

I can't with this sub anymore, nor with any social media and any other social group. No one gives a shit until someone already has a garrot on their throat, and when they at last do - every living being (especially here) starts racing to text "Ooh, you're not alone, dms are opened, yada yada". Bullshit. Y'all don't give a fuck, but at the same time you are afraid of being accused of indifference, so you play pretend with yourselves. Who are you trying to trick, who?! Hypocrisy, blasphemy, total decay of honesty. But it's fine. Fine. I don't need you or anything else. I'm fed up with all this, straight up. I was holding the line, waiting, hoping, but I'm tired of doing so. What's the fucking point, anyway.

I’m 19 I’m a guy just looking for people to talk to dms are open

I sit here in the isolation of this room, trapped inside a heavy cocoon of pain and solitude that never leaves me. The days pass slowly, and there is no friend to share the details of this emptiness with or to unload what weighs on my heart. I feel as though I am slowly fading away from the world, and all I truly yearn for at this moment is a simple, honest feeling: to be wanted, for someone to know me and choose to stay with me of their own free will, without having to explain the silence or the heaviness

I've been extremely isolated for about a year and a half. I can go for 3 or 4 months at a time with zero face-to-face human interaction only screens. I work remotely and I will attempt to reach out to people, new and existing in my life both.

I've been trying to pull people closer to me with my messages and my behavior, instead everyone that I've tried to pull closer has seemingly not appreciated that at all. And instead push me away and broke up with me essentially. The people in my life that have called me a friend to my face don't like seeing me happy or are revealing something about themselves in the way they respond to my social initiations.

I'm just being friendly. My motivations are pure. People don't treat mental illness with much patience or tenderness

I was always chopped and lonely growing up and wasn’t self aware until middle school when I got bullied severely all the way until highschool graduation. That being said I had 1 friend ever during that time but she moved junior year of hs, I also had never even gotten close to being in a romantic relationship by the time hs was over, legit hadn’t even held hands with a boy. I truly hated everything about myself, nothing felt like a redeeming quality. i graduated and tried my hardest to look better for myself, and so I can be taken seriously at beauty school/ my job, yet still no friends despite the efforts to do so the entire time I was in school. After I finished school I met this boy online who lived super near by, we eventually started dating but he was very toxic in soososososoosososososo many ways and ruined my self image again, I started seeing myself as past me and felt the same way again and still do since then ngl. So now i struggle to leave my house even for work, I have to literally talk myself thru making it to each shift instead of hiding myself from the world. Every time I try to make a friend I feel like a gross person invading their boundaries. Like legit I feel like a predator when trying to make friends with women my age. Romance wise I don’t even make an effort, no one has ever approached me romantically who isn’t like elderly. I’m too scared to even just be intimate, I never have been at 21f not bc I don’t want to but bc I know I just will hate every second of it bc I’ll be thinking of how disgusting I must look. I so desperately crave the life I see everyone else my age having. I’ve been so lonely my whole life but like esp after the relationship I genuinely thought would b end game turned out to be a trailer of hell it just feels like I’m more lonely than I ever have been. There’s like no one to talk to about my days and no one to tell me abt theirs and just hold me. I feel so completely isolated from my peers and society in general tbh

I’m really interested that how lonely people spend their freetime? What do you do exactly to have a good time?

I feel like there is a gaping chasm that separates me from other humans. I was watching a YouTuber I like and she had a video where she speaks in her native language instead of English and it just made me think of the idea of disconnection.

I feel like no matter how hard I try or even how nice someone is....I am still the person unable to connect. I don't understand their language. I don't click with them or they don't click with me. I am too broken or mentally ill. I'm just the same suicidal headcase stuck in his room isolated and alone unable to connect. I'm like an alien that doesn't understand your language.

​

Today is my birthday, and honestly, I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling.

I'm a fourth-year engineering student. College has been a rollercoaster for me. I made some amazing friends, especially one person who was once my best friend. We shared so many memories, and there was a time when I genuinely felt loved and cared for. We used to spend time together, share things, and be a part of each other's lives.

But somewhere along the way, things changed. We had a friendship breakup, and even though time has passed, I don't think I've completely moved on from it.

Today, I saw my college friends going to a Garba event together without even letting me know. Maybe they didn't mean to hurt me. Maybe they just wanted to go together. I understand that people have their own lives and can make their own plans, but seeing it still hurt me more than I expected.

And the worst part is that it's happening on my birthday.

I don't know why, but birthdays make you think about the people who used to be there for you. You start remembering how things were before, how loved you once felt, and how different everything is now.

I think what hurts the most is that my former best friend is still around, but we aren't close anymore. She's moved on, has other friends, and probably sees me as just another person now. Maybe I'm not as important to her as she once was, but a part of me still struggles to accept that.

I regret chasing the friendship so many times. I regret trying so hard to bring things back to how they were. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn't just let go earlier instead of hurting myself repeatedly.

I've turned off WhatsApp because I don't have the courage to open it and see what's there. I don't know who will wish me a happy birthday, who will remember, or whether the people I secretly hope will message me actually will.

I'm not switching off my phone because, somewhere inside, I think I'm still waiting. But at the same time, I'm scared to look.

It's such a strange feeling. Wanting someone to remember you while being afraid of finding out that they don't.

I know people grow apart. I know friendships change, and I know I can't force anyone to stay in my life. But knowing all of that doesn't make it hurt any less.

I'm not expecting everyone to make my birthday special. I just miss the feeling of having people who genuinely care about me, people with whom I don't have to question my place in their lives.

Today, I don't know whether I should cry, sleep, distract myself, or just let the day pass.

I'm turning another year older, but instead of feeling excited, I'm sitting here thinking about the friendships I've lost and the people I wish were still close to me.

I have done well in my studies so far but lately I have noticed getting tired of this. Uni life would be different if I didn't have to do it alone. Sometimes it's possible for us to do the assignments with a pair or a small group. I do them alone but I wouldn't mind sometimes sharing the work with a friend. I'm writing my Bachelor's thesis, wouldn't mind talking about that with someone. I wish there was something to look forward to, like hanging out with friends in the evening. It would be nice to have someone to sit next to during lectures. Lately I've been finding myself feeling lonely in the evenings, I didn't really have this problem before, at least to this extent. And on top of all this my parents are getting divorced, it would be nice to have a social life, to get something else to think about.

I want to be happy but that’s impossible when you know that you will never be anyone’s first option. It’s pathetic, I know it is that I have no one while everyone’s found their person. I thought I did, but it’s clear thats way out the window. I feel like I have my foot out the door with everyone I meet because I’m just scared of them leaving me. I just want to feel normal, I want to be happy and have friends and be normal and I don’t want to disappoint my parents. I don’t want them to know what a loser their daughter is, that they failed at raising someone worth talking to. I don’t know why I’m difficult or why I am the way I am, I partly blame my mom but I know there’s no one to blame but myself. I just want someone to be there for me, I don’t want this bottled up anymore and I just want to be normal. I want friends to hang out with and things to do. My dad always asks me when I’m gonna hang out with my friends and I don’t have the heart to tell him I don’t have any. I talk to people in school but I never feel like I fit in with any group. I always tell myself I’m just one of those people that is friends with everyone, I know that’s not true. I’m not particularly good at anything, nothing notable. Im so average it’s painful. I’m good at art but I lack any creativity to create something from my heart. I think I need someone to talk to but not like a therapist or anyone because I don’t have trauma or mental problems like that for the most part. I just need a friend but I don’t want to burden anyone with my heavy heart and struggles, I don’t want to put that on anyone. Im not s*icidal but I always think about what it would be like to not be alive, I just feel bad and attention seeking because I don’t have any trauma or any mental problems. I won’t off myself but I wonder If that would be something I would consider in the future. I have nothing to show for myself and I’m not surprised I don’t have friends.

Yk I ain’t gonna lie bruh on no depressing shit I legit don’t wanna live anymore this life feels boring as shit and I’m pretty jealous of people that are able to get along with others easily and find interest in them I feel extremely selfish and ik damn well it’s a me problem but idk y I stay like this it’s like if god existed it’s a big fuck you and said ur going to be an alien this is just a small rant I’ll be fine by tomorrow I used to be depressed about this crap but now it’s more like annoyance cuz I’m bore but I really hope yall have a good night and day tomorrow 🗣️🗣️🗣️

I hate it but at least it’s someone outside of my roommates. Still stuck on someone I’m in no contact with. I also feel bad for the guys. But a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. Also everytime I talk to other women they say they don’t want to meet their S/O from an app but they all act shocked when I actually give my number out to people who cold approach me. Like it’s so much more dangerous than being on an app??? I don’t get it. Why is it so socially unacceptable to want company when it is not convenient

I have great friends right now, but as time goes on I realize the connection I keep thinking is strong can in fact be a thin thread and I'm tired of that feeling. I try so hard, but sometimes people have different priorities , different issues, and that's fine. I just am tired.

23 male broke and trying my hardest... I had to move away from friends because my foster family were awful to me and threw me out during my lowest point in life

Now I am left with the harsh reality of knowing my mother ended her life because of me... All because I didnt have the heart to see her during her lowest point...

Now Im wrestling with guilt from pain and trauma caused by others... and Im alone in this dark and sour world... just me and the my brothers... fate is a bitch

It's been 3 yrs since this all happened and while doing better it feels like I just cant find others I can belong to... ppl my age are just in better stages of their life and I am just lost feels like Im always drifting towards uncertainty

It really just sucks man

I’m 21 F and it’s so hard rn. I struggle w body image issues, and I am very self conscious. I want to do all these things like travel, go to the gym, make more friends, etc. But I feel like ppl judge me to quickly or I over think every interaction. I’m also at the stage where it’s like I want a relationship but I also don’t because I feel like I can’t give my all…like I want that intimacy but I feel like I’m not in the right state for it. Ik it’s selfish of me to think that way, but I like cuddling and watching movies w someone, or like going on cute fall dates and wearing match PJ’s and just having that one person where u can be yourself around. Watching horror movies and laughing and dumbass tiktoks together. No matter how much I tell myself I am okay being a lone…I rly do want a pattern.

I just want to love someone a friend or life partner the way i know i can. I find myself making mt personality dull out of fear pf judgement. I've always been more of a one on one person so I've had 'best' friends but the one I'm close to is starting to replace me unfortunately. I just want to be loved the way i love. I'm just so empty feeling

my social ineptitude permeates into my *entire life* and has undoubtedly cost me countless potential friendships, relationships, job opportunities, you name it. it hurts especially bad thinking about how much richer my life would be if I was just wired normally. as of right now I’m in college and have 0 friends, have never had any of the quintessential college experiences, have never done anything of note with my life. I’ve gone weeks without speaking to people outside of family/work; lonely isn’t even the right word to describe this. I am completely alone and don’t have the tools to fix it.

i always used to be insecure about being ugly, now i just wish someone told teenage/preteen me to stop obsessing over my looks. i think being neurodivergent is legit worse than being ugly, though they both suck. But at least if you’re ugly you can always just look better - I would easily take a massive ding to my looks with no hesitation if it meant i could have a normal social life.

I have a group of friends, but we’re not super close, and sometimes I can’t even tell if they genuinely like me or just tolerate me. I don’t want to drop them because it’s our last year of high school, and I don’t want to be alone for things like prom and other senior-year events.
The problem is that we’re very different people. They’re all really good students who don’t drink, party, or go out much, whereas I’m much more of a party person. I feel like I haven’t been able to explore that side of myself because of my friend group, and sometimes I wonder what experiences I could’ve had if I had different friends.
Halloween is coming up, and I really don’t want to spend another year doing nothing. I asked my friends about their plans, but they all have their own things going on and didn’t really seem interested in making plans with me.
Recently, I made a new friend who mentioned a couple of Halloween parties/functions and suggested I ask my friends and that she’d come too. However, she’s going with her own friend group, and I’m wondering if I could ask to join them instead.
I know one of the girls in her group because we hung out once, and she was nice, but we’re not close. I’m really anxious about coming across as weird or desperate by asking to join them, especially since I’m not part of their friend group. I don’t want to make things awkward or affect their plans, and now I’m overthinking the whole situation and don’t even know if I should ask.
I just really want to go out and make memories during my last year of high school, but I don’t want to invite myself somewhere I’m not wanted. Would you ask her if you were in my situation, or would you leave it alone?

Honestly I'm used to it at this point but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I always have to message people first and even then they rarely reply, nobody checks up on my or wants to hang out. This happens even with my own family.

Am I anti social? Sure I avoid people in public and things, I'm not great at talking about myself but that doesn't mean I don't wanna connect with people. But I never get the chance and now im probably gonna be lonely forever and there's nothing I can do.

Sorry for this vent-