Does anyone else live alone and often sleep on the sofa? I don’t know if it’s just a me-thing but after a partner moves out, it almost feels less lonely to sleep in the living room? I’m not sure if that’s normal

Today is my birthday, and I spent it alone. No one remembered, no messages, no calls. Just me, a cup of tea, and a book.
It was a quiet, heavy day. I didn’t want anything ,just to feel remembered by someone.
Happy birthday to me, I guess. 🎂

My 35th birthday is this coming Wednesday, and here I am doomscrolling on Reddit, in between bouts of random crying. I just feel so disconnected and empty. I don't know, but I know I'm tired of feeling this way.

I love living alone. I have lived with family, roomates or my ex husband for 35 years. My ex and i didn't work out and I have been living alone since June. It's great honestly. I love having my own space. No one to tell me what i can and can't do. No one to take care of but me and my dog ...but at night, when it's dark and quiet, sometimes I feel so alone. I miss having someone to snuggle up to. Someone there when the night terrors hit and I need a reminder that everything is okay. Most nights I'm okay. I have no problem sleeping alone. But some nights, like tonight, the loneliness is overwhealming. I just want to be wrapped in a pair of arms sometimes. I felt alone well before I left my ex. So this isn't me wanting him back. At all. He can kick rocks. But I just want cuddles sometimes. I want to lay by someone's side and just talk into the night until we fall asleep. But I can't have that. I won't have that. I want that. But it seems the things I want are rarely attainable. I need to hire a professional cuddler or something. Haha.

"put yourself out there!" yeah it works sometimes but it sure as hell isn't easy. things go to shit like 98% of the time. and people don't communicate what went wrong. they just ghost which is i guess the easy option. I'm not innocent I ghost too. so i should do better.

anyways, I'm just frustrated for feeling like I have to keep entertaining people just so they can grace me with crumbles of their precious attention. so.i decided to vent about it here. I still have the capacity to love people but it's taking all my mental strength to remain sane. doesn't help that I'm a chronically online traumatized damaged loser.

Like their social skills are so poor or they have too much wrong with them and love will remain out of reach for their entire life? This is such a sour feeling.

So many days go by, I wanna just slice off my ugly face and put a mask over it. I'm absolutely repulsive.

So most of my life i was in and out of the hospital cause my depression was super bad and never really got around to dating. Anyway that's all resolved now and im trying to date. Bro what the fuck is wrong with people. Chat am I cooked? I cant seem to meet a normal person.

Always look for your people, and do your best to hold on to them. Because when life gets really fucking hard (illness, war, loss), there’s nothing worse than having to go through it all alone.
When you’re part of something, even the most terrifying things become a little easier to get through.
I know this might sound cliché, but I just want to remind you of it as someone who had all of this during the good times, failed to hold on to it, and now finds myself with nothing good to hold on to amid the catastrophe I’m living through.
And life feels more meaningless now.
Friendship matters. Love matters. Family matters.

I lost my better half about two years ago.

While I am lonely... I don't want anyone at my upcoming birthday dinner. I know I HAVE TO invite my immediate family, but I don't want to deal with the... " How have you been? How's life? Have you met anyone?"...

How do y'all deal with good intentioned family members??

I don’t feel like explaining my thoughts in detail. I just don’t see any reason to be optimistic. Adult life seems so boring to me. All adults seem truly dead inside. I don’t want to become like them, but I won’t be able to escape it. I can see this mental decline happening year after year. It really seems impossible to be as enthusiastic after 30 as you are at 20.

Who would actually have the honesty to admit that their adult love will never reach the grace or intensity of their first love? No one has the courage to admit it.

We’re sold maturity as progress, as something deeper, more stable, more “real.” But look around you. Look at these so-called happy and fulfilled adults. Despite their grand speeches about the beauty of couple life after 30, you can’t find a single ounce of sincerity, freshness, or real life in them anymore. Their interactions are flat, functional, almost professional. Nothing playful left, nothing naive, nothing that burns. Just two people managing a shared life.

Their so-called joy and their well-organized life, boring as it is, sound completely fake. And in reality, people can’t even say they’re truly happy, because they would be instantly attacked. We’re no longer allowed to notice that something has been lost. We have to pretend it’s better, or at worst “different but just as good.”

I won’t take into account the opinions of people who claim otherwise. I won’t believe them. Their testimonies are in no way proof. They’re often people who have an interest in convincing themselves, or who simply never experienced that intensity in the first place. First love has a quality that nothing replaces, and no one really has the courage to say it clearly.

I've (f22) spent most of my life feeling like I don’t quite understand other people or the social rules everyone else seems to pick up naturally. As a child, I was shy but also stubborn and opinionated, and I would experience intense anger over things that seemed relatively minor to other people. At the time, this was dismissed as typical childhood anger, but looking back, I wonder whether I was becoming overwhelmed and struggling to process my emotions. I also found social situations difficult, particularly as friendships became more about popularity and social hierarchy rather than imagination and shared interests.

I was teased quite a bit at school, especially about my appearance after starting puberty at an early age. This contributed to a lot of insecurity and a poor relationship with my body from a young age. I struggled with depression and disordered eating throughout my teens, and spent several years questioning my gender and feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere. I also spent a lot of time online, seeking validationand connection, often from men who took advantage of my vulnerability. I knew what they were doing and I knew it was wrong, but I was lonely and felt that I could talk more openly about these things.
During lockdown, I finally felt some relief from social pressure and had more space to figure out who I was. Afterwards, I became more confident in my appearance and found it easier to socialise, particularly at university, where I initially had agood social life. I've noticed throughout my life that I tend to get along with men more easily than women, although I sometimes wonder how much of that is down to appearance and the way people treat me when they find me attractive. I've also often felt like I've had to adapt my personality to fit in with whoever I'm around, rather than feeling comfortable being myself.

University did become increasingly difficult in the first year due to binge drinking, workload pressure and how I was treated by men, some of whom I considered to be my close friends. I transferred to another university in my second year and I struggled to form meaningful friendships. I graduated without really making any friends and eventually realised that most of my old friends had moved on with their lives. One friend in particular I had been close with since school ghosted me, and when I eventually was able to confront her she just told me I gave off an ‘off putting vibe’, which hurt, considering we were friends for so long. This also tainted another friendship with someone we were both close to, and now I don’t think I can truly trust them.

A month ago, after moving back home, my dog, who was genuinely my best friend, soulmate and a huge source of comfort, passed away. I've always felt a particularly strong connection to animals, especially dogs and sometimes find it easier to connect with them than with people. Now I feel quite lost.
I'm struggling with grief, depression, loneliness and the pressure of trying to find a job after graduating. I have very little confidence in my ability to make friends, my appearance and how I come across to people and I feel like I've somehow regressed socially rather than progressed and every social interaction is exhausting.

Recently I've started considering whether I might be autistic as the lifelong feeling of being different and struggling to understand social dynamics while experiencing intense emotions and constantly adapting myself to fit in all seem to lead towards the autistic experience. I feel emotion so deeply and I don’t even know if getting a professional diagnosis would be worth it. Especially now, as I feel I truly cannot mask my behaviour or emotions any longer as I’m almost at breaking point.
I feel so overwhelmed and isolated, and I think part of me just wants to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way, but also I don’t know how to improve my life at this stage.

I don’t really have friends, and sometimes I feel lonely, but at the same time, I genuinely enjoy being by myself. When someone invites me to hang out, my first instinct is usually to stay home and do my own thing. I’m comfortable in my own space, and socializing often feels more like an obligation than something I actually want to do.

But I think what I really want is genuine connection. I want friendships where I can talk about Jesus, encourage each other, have meaningful conversations, and feel accepted without worrying about being judged. I want people in my life who genuinely want to be there, not relationships where I’m always the one reaching out, initiating conversations, or putting in the effort to keep the friendship alive.

I also recognize that I’m not the best at maintaining connections myself. Sometimes I don’t respond to messages, or I don’t know what to say, and I end up withdrawing. So I wonder if I’m contributing to my own loneliness without realizing it.
Part of me wonders if I genuinely prefer being alone or if I’ve just become comfortable with it because finding the kind of connections I want feels difficult.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you find genuine friendships as an adult, especially when you want deeper connections but don’t necessarily enjoy going out and socializing just for the sake of it?

It's a strange feeling when everyone around you seems to have people to go out with, plans to look forward to, and memories they're making together.

I'm genuinely happy for them, but sometimes I wish I had someone who'd think of me when making those plans, someone who'd text me out of nowhere and ask if I'm coming along.

I don't think I want a huge circle of friends. I just want to feel like I belong somewhere, like someone would notice if I wasn't there.

Maybe I'm just having one of those days, but lately, it feels like I'm watching life happen from the outside.

*

I myself 46m, last 2 relationships got cheated on. Both long term 10y marriage then a 4 year. I always had people around me but since then it has made me from a people person to a person that don't trust anyone. I perfered being alone because it was just easier. But it's been almost 4years of this. It's overwhelming most days. I live 24 miles out of town in a one gas pump town in the woods. Lately to get my mind off of my whole situation I created that got out of hand is I ride my bicycle a few miles in the woods to a creek where I randomly talked to this woman in hopes to run into her again. I never have seen her again but why it makes me feel better is when I sit by the creek alone in silence I can hear the couger I seen multiple times sneaking up on me. He might get me someday but the feeling of hearing him makes me realize I'm not alone even when I think I am. So when your feeling alone, please know you are loved your not alone. You can message me if ya need anything....not money tho I don't have any of that. ....I was reading some other posts earlier about cuddling and how they miss it. I miss that shit to. That was the best part of the day

Never been in a relationship and only ever talked to girls to ask for a pencil or if a class has been cancelled.

Realized I might be cooked when I spent a month sewing pillows to mimic the shape of a human body so I can feel like someone is hugging me.

While I do want someone to love me I can't image that happening as I don't know how to respond to it, I'm yearning for something I don't know how to give or receive, if someone so much as compliments me my face twists and I can't look straight ahead.

I wake up go to work feel unheard. I’m constantly walked all over and seems that I’m dismissed on the day to day. I Come home to a relationship that does not fill my cup. I’m disrespected and more of a maid and cook than girlfriend. My extended family and I do not see eye to eye. I have barely any friends, it’s hard for me to keep friendships, I’m not always on my phone or have the mental bandwidth to hang out. On top of this, I have a hard time answering my phone. It’s been this way for years and I’m stuck in this loop of impending doom. I can’t seem to get out of. It’s a dark place here and I’ve tried to be positive, therapy, medication, meditation, change of lifestyle, it’s never ending. I want to be heard and understood. I want my voice to be heard. I want people to get me without the exhaustion. I want to have a fulfilling life. I do, I don’t know what I’ve been doing that I cannot progress past this mental space in life.

I just really needed to get out how I’m feeling. Thank you for reading.

I have been building a fiance app who are interest we can talk about business I want business friend too even tho I want fun friend feel anxious :(

It's been a while since I've been feeling lonely

Well i have a fam

I have maybe 3 or 4 friends but m none of em's favorite person :(

I just missed the time when i had my fav person that i am their fav too..

We all go through ups & downs

But at the end of the day i need someone to talk 2

i feel heavy sharing with ppl around me

I tried to make Friends, i tried to get closer to ppl but nothing works..

Feeling embarrassed to ask but..

Would someone like to get to know me & be my fav person..?

I recently got dumped by the guy I thought I would marry. I don't have any friends and I am too scared of doing anything alone. I don't know how to cope with it at all. I'm kind of over the breakup but now I feel a different type of loneliness that I haven't felt before.

I want tips on what to do to get out more by myself and be more okay with being alone. I don't want to chase people to have friends. The best friendships I've had in life is people that turned up out of nowhere and I feel like I just want to be okay without having a bunch of people around me because then, I'll just be back in the same place if people leave.

The biggest problem is that I'm back in my hometown, a place I've always hated and I don't feel good being here. I'm only 19 so I don't have the money to move out yet and I don't have my drivers license either so I feel really stuck. It almost feels like I'm stuck in this life I don't want but at the same time I'm the only one that can make a difference. I just don't know how.

I don't really know how to start this, so I'm going to just start writing. I see many people say and post about being lonely. I don't doubt many people are, but a lot of people have parents they live with or get to see regularly. I have absolutely no one. I haven't talked to anyone in my family in over a month because how toxic they are. My mom got married a few months ago and invited my entire family but me. I'm the only kid she didn't even tell about it. I found out through my aunt that I ran into at a store. She also missed my birthday last year after we had plans. She canceled the day of.

This led me into arguing with her, and because of that, my sisters also started arguing with me. My dad used me for my liver when he got cirrhosis from drinking. When he got better, he immediately went back to his wife who cheated on him when he got cirrhosis. He always picked her and her kids over me.

All my friends growing up moved pretty far and have successful careers and families. We all grew apart and don't talk anymore. While I do have a very successful career, I have absolutely no one in my life anymore. My ex-wife cheated on me, so that relationship ended nearly 2 years ago.

I've accomplished more this year than I ever have before. I paid off debt, got a new car, and made a lot of progress in my life. These are things I should be happy and proud of, and I am to an extent. But it's hard to truly enjoy any of it when I have absolutely no one to share it with. There's no one to celebrate with, no one to tell about my accomplishments, and no one who really knows how far I've come.

I go to work and come home to absolutely nothing. No friends, family bonds. I hate to be morbid, but if I was to die today, the only reason people would know is because I didn't show up to work tomorrow.

I've tried to make new friends, but it's hard. Everyone has their own friend groups and people they're close to, like their family and kids. For reference, I'm 28M. I've tried going out multiple places, and I can't seem to find my people or my place no matter how hard I try. I've even tried going places I don't even enjoy to expand people I might connect with. Still, nothing.

I guess I just needed to write this down somewhere. Thank you for reading if you've made it this far.

I'm (34F UK) struggling to find my bearings after a relationship breakdown..

15 years of talking to the same person, gone just like that..

It's crippling.

I keep hoping for a reply I'm never going to get.

I miss having my person to send random things to..

I miss having their presence in my life.. It all feels so empty right now..

I don't connect well with new people very often so I'm feeling pretty isolated and I'm not sure how to deal with it..

Struggling with self doubt because I may have to walk away from a 6 year relationship but I’m not sure anyone will ever love me the same way again. I don’t feel as if I’m enough and my friends and family feel like my relationship is perfect. My partner is great but because of distance we’ve been making plans to live closer together for the past few years. But I don’t want to start over and I may need to and that terrifies me because this has been my longest relationship. I just feel alone and unworthy of love. And I’m trying to convince myself that I am but I can’t.

Lately for me it’s been Mitski, Lomelda, Clairo, The Marias, Cowboy Junkies , and a whole lot of sad old country and folk and crooners from the 40’s to the 60s . ”I’m so lonesome I could cry”, ” Born to lose” , “Pale blue eyes” etc.

Song that wont leave my head for the past two weeks is Mitski - I Will .

The song is singing about loving someone deeply and truly, telling them that they’re safe and she will protect them and be there for them.

The sad part is she wrote the song not about someone she loves , but the song is what she always wished she could hear from anybody else. The love and safety and support that she needs but no one has ever given her.

I relate to that, far too well. So, good for a nice ugly cry.