I love my mother, but often, when I was growing up, I would be incredibly frustrated by the fact that she didn't seem to understand anything. We would watch films together and she couldn't tell me what the film was about after. She didn't know. She never understood metaphor and she never grasped basic financial understanding or learned how to drive.

My father married my mother when she was eighteen and he was 29. I always questioned the power dynamics at play because of their age difference, and as I grew older I began to question my mother's behaviours as well.

Yesterday, while talking to my grandmother I found out that my mother was diagnosed with an intellectual disability when she was fourteen years old. My grandmother assumed that my father had told me. He never did.

My mother has never seemed to have any trouble completing domestic tasks. She has always been a stay-at-home mother and me and my older sister were always well taken care of as children.

In other ways, I feel as though I was neglected. I could never really ask my mother to comfort me, because if I told her that I was upset, she would just burst into tears on the ground. Even though my mother and I have always spent lots of time with each other, and it would seem as though we are very 'close', I feel a weird sense of disconnect from her.

When I was young, I found my mother really fun, and so did a lot of other kids as her interests have always been quite 'childlike'. She always got just as excited as me and my sister to play at the playground, or dress up as princesses.

As I got older, I became interested in things that my mother couldn't understand at all. She would get upset when I would want to read books instead of playing games with her. She struggled immensely watching me and my sister get older, because I think that to her, it seemed like we were leaving her behind.

I hate to admit it, but I became embarrassed of her. I never wanted my friends to come over to my house because I was ashamed of my mother's interests, and the fact that her lack of social understanding made her treat everyone as though they were great friends with her.

Sometimes, when I was being a typical angsty teenager, I would really lash out at her verbally, and she had no way of coping, so she would just start kicking and screaming on the floor. I wish that I'd known at the time that she genuinely didn't understand half of what I would be going on about, it would have saved a lot of tears I think, on my end and hers.

I also don't know how to feel towards my father. Honestly, he sounds quite predatory to me, going after a woman significantly younger and intellectually disabled. She's essentially forced into a role of submission towards him.

My 32F boyfriend 34M and I picked up keys to our apartment and then I woke up to him having sex with me.

We just picked up keys to a beautiful apartment. Together for 2 years. Things have been stressful lately due to a new position my boyfriend has working outdoors in the heat physical labor and also being mentally tested.

I’ve been supportive, making our dinners, getting groceries, prepping his food for work, and of course understanding of us spending less time together. We always go to bed together at his apartment.

He left work excited to go get the keys, I mentioned the ritual of eating pizza on the floor so that was the plan. I’ve been the one organizing the entire move, lease process, packing all my things - he doesn’t have a clear plan on moving his stuff but he has more time there. I spent the whole day in full moving mode and was tired.

We do the ritual, I run through what I’m thinking for the place, I give him a card to commemorate and he says he is so excited to spend the rest of his life with me.

When we get back and are relaxing I offer a blowjob. I do very frequently - but his sex drive has been low lately due to work and new medication. He declines, I don’t press further.

We fall asleep early and at around 10pm I feel some movement but am in a pretty deep sleep. Then I open my eyes and think I’m dreaming as I see my boyfriend has entered me and is lightly panting.

I immediately moved away and called him out. He immediately apologizes. He keeps starting sentences like “I don’t want to defend it but…” at one point he says he woke up aroused and wanted to have sex. Eventually I turn to being emotional and go to the restroom. After a cry anger entered the chat. I told him he had raped me. How could he disrespect me given all that I’ve been doing for him. He declined consensual sex earlier. This makes him angry. He says “so go call the cops then” and it hurt so much I said back “I will” and pulled out my phone. I wouldn’t do that. Then he starts telling me we aren’t moving in - and yells in my face 4x times I CANT TRUST YOU. He says I am ready to ruin his life.

This escalated a lot. I was in a period of processing and reacting to my feelings. He was apologetic and wanting to reconnect but eventually feels like he found something to throw back at me and the shame had him destruct the relationship to gain back power.

I’m in a panic. I lose my apartment in 2 days. I’ve gotten rid of 50% of my things. My apartment is desolate. I can’t afford this rent on my own.

Context as well - we have had instances he wakes up and starts to masterbate and guides my hand down and I’ve not had issues with that because I’ll have awoken and totally feel free to consent or not. But this felt different.

TLDR we’re supposed to move in and my boyfriend had sex with me as I slept.

Hi. A few weeks ago my coworker in his early 20s committed suicide after work on a Thursday. We all work M-F as it is a daycare, and he had been there for over a year. My coworker: Phil (fake name) was a float around the school and I am a teacher in a classroom. I saw him often and knew him somewhat well; he was extremely kind, helpful, and genuine. Phil was always in a hoodie or long sleeves even in the summertime. Although that changed leading up to his death. He wore his work shirt with nothing underneath exposing extensive self harm scars in different stages of healing. I felt sick seeing it and I wanted to say something so badly especially knowing that I have also struggled with self harm. I didn't know how or what to day and I didn't want to embarrass him. I regret that every day. I think about him a lot. Although we weren't close, I feel I should've at least tried to be there for him. We all saw the scars and my bosses knew he needed mental health days and time-off. My boss dismissed his death completely and only cared how we reacted for the parents. She came around and told us during the work day, bluntly that he had jumped off a bridge the night before and was dead. I couldn't believe the coldness, I ended up leaving my job because I couldn't stand to work for such a cold/unfeeling system.

I 37/F live in a very small town, population 1,200, and got out of a serious relationship back in July. I have several close female friends, but I prefer spending my time with my two guy friends. We’ll call them Eric and James. They were best friends before I met them about two years ago. I just loooove being around them. I think they are both super attractive and I have so much fun when the three of us are together.

I spend more time with Eric because we are neighbors, we hang out just about every day at some capacity. James travels for work so he pops in/out. Last night the three of us went to the hot springs, and this morning Eric and I went for a mountain bike ride/coffee. It honestly feels like I’m already dating Eric, but we’ve never done anything intimate. The three of us are talking about going to Thailand together in the spring, obviously looove this idea, dream scenario. They joked saying “what do you think everyone will think about you traveling with your two boyfriends?”. I also make jokes about dating them.

However, I know nothing will ever happen between any of us. Eric is happy being single, plus he already has most the benefits of having a girlfriend because we do everything together. And James is also taking a break from dating because he still has feelings for his ex. It still feels good to dream about it though. I love them both and feel the most happy when we are all together.

I recently traveled with my family to Switzerland as its our dream destination in Europe which we’ve never been to before. I live in SEA but have East Asian roots, so do my parents and twin brother and younger sister I’m traveling with. We’re having a great time and really enjoying the Alps and the views/sights as when we travel its usually limited to just Asia. So, its a pretty nice change as its our first time outside the continent.

We stayed at Switzerland for around 2 weeks and went to Zurich, Lucerne, then Zermatt. Originally, I had no worries about facing any discrimination there as we asked relatives who traveled there and they said it was a wonderful experience and the people there were really nice.

We traveled to Lucerne and decided to go to a shopping outlet for things to buy, we split off with my brother and dad going to other shops while I went with my mother and sister. They entered a Louis Vuitton store as my mother was trying to look for a bag she really wanted. I just lounged while they were trying to look for it. After five minutes I noticed they were still lost so I asked them what was wrong and they said that they couldn’t find someone to help them.

It was busy in the store so I assumed they just didnt have any available staff for now. Time passed by and other customers who came in later than we did were being attended to while my mother and sister were helpless. I decided to walk up to one of the staff and ask if they could help find what my mom was looking for, i could tell they weren’t taking it seriously and said that they’d find someone soon. They didn’t. 30 minutes pass and still no help! I get angry and complain about their poor customer service. Instead of helping us, the manager is called and says that they will not help me or my mom and sister and even threatened to call security if we continued to make a ruckus. I didn’t I was just calling them out on their behavior.

I complain more with the manager and ask blatantly why they refuse to help us and he kept saying that he wouldn’t help people like ‘us’. I had just about enough of it and I left with my sister and mom. My sister was a little shaken because the manager had actually directed us out himself and very rudely at that. When we told my brother and dad what happened they were astonished that this happened.

So it kind of ruined our trip but other than that we enjoyed. What really surprised me was that the other customers in that store or really anyone else, never spoke up about anything.

Ten years ago, I used to take random writing jobs online. I would write ads, descriptions, articles, basically whatever assignment was given to me. It was extra money and I liked writing, so I didn't think too much about it.

Then one day, the person I worked for asked me to write short bios for some people on a website and sent me the link. I opened it and immediately closed it because the page was full of pictures of naked women. I honestly thought I clicked something wrong or got one of those stupid porn pop-ups, so I clicked the link again.

Still the same website, same naked women.

Then I looked properly and realized, oh. These women were escorts. And my assignment was to write their bios.

I remember being so uncomfortable because how am I supposed to write a biography about somebody I don't even know? Am I supposed to look at her picture and invent that she is sweet, adventurous, naughty, loves this and that, whatever will make men interested in her?

Basically, I would be creating a personality for a woman I had never met just to make her more appealing to customers.

At that time, my reason for refusing was mostly about the women. I am a woman too, and something about helping sell another woman felt so wrong to me. I didn't know their circumstances or even who they really were. That was actually part of the problem. These were real women with real personalities and real lives somewhere, and I was being asked to make up a more marketable version of them based on some naked pictures.

So I refused the assignment and stopped taking work from that person not long after.

Sometimes I think about it now and I am so fucking glad I didn't do it. Realistically, it probably would not have stopped with one website. Maybe another escort site would come next, then adult advertisements, porn titles and descriptions. Maybe eventually I would be writing "step sis snu snu step bro" descriptions for SEO. What a career path. 😭

But there is another reason why I am glad now, and this one I only understood 10 years later.

When I was younger, I had a stereotype of the men on the other side of websites like that. I imagined rich and powerful men. Businessmen, politicians, nepobabies, some married executive secretly paying for women because he could afford it. He had the money and he was choosing, so in my mind, he was the one with power.

I never really imagined some lonely salaryman sitting alone in his apartment after work.

I never imagined somebody touch-starved, socially awkward, traumatized or just terribly lonely. Someone who wanted intimacy but, for whatever reason, found it difficult to have it the conventional way. It never occurred to me that somebody could be the paying customer and still have vulnerabilities that a business could take advantage of.

I understand it now. Not because i studied Freudian books all of a sudden, but because I loved a man like that like a brother. And somehow, even a friendship that had nothing to do with money or sex got caught up in the same mess.

Look, I know adults can make their own choices. Not every guy paying for this stuff is a helpless victim, and the women doing it aren't automatically predators either. People make their decisions. But even when choices are made freely, building a whole billion-dollar business out of preying on someone’s vulnerabilities, chronic isolation, and desperation just feels... wrong. That’s the part that gets me. The whole machinery running in the background is just straight-up predatory.

Who gathered the women? Who brought the customers there? Who figured out what pictures make people click, what words make somebody more appealing, and most importantly, what psychological loops keep a lonely person coming back and bleeding cash?

Somebody actually sat down and engineered a way to weaponize basic human vulnerability for profit. A woman can be reduced into a body, a photograph, a fake personality, and a price. A man can be reduced into his loneliness, his desires, his credit card and how much more money can be extracted from him.

Sometimes maybe the man really is the rich asshole I imagined when I was young. But what if he's just some lonely guy who goes to work, goes home, eats dinner alone, and wants somebody to make him feel wanted for a while?

As disgusting or transactional as it can look from the outside, underneath it all, it’s often just a lonely person craving human connection, and this is the only way they know how to get it. I never really understood this before, but some people never learned how to form healthy relationships, and for them, transactional intimacy might feel like the only safe option left.

I didn't understand any of this when I refused that assignment. I just looked at those women and thought: no, I don't want to be a cog in this machinery.

And it wasn't until ten years later that I truly understood what that machinery does to the people trapped inside it.

And I think that's another terrible part of it. After a while, somebody might start believing that affection always comes with a price. So when someone genuinely cares about them without asking for anything in return, they don't know what to do with it. They question it, doubt it, and maybe even try to turn it into something transactional because that's what they're used to. To me, it almost sounds like self-sabotage. Even when nobody is asking them for money anymore, they might still struggle to believe that somebody could care about them simply because they do.

I couldn't save my friend. My friendship cannot outlove the loneliness he is feeling.

But at least I didn't become part of the apparatus that I believe made his loneliness worse. Maybe somebody else wrote that assignment that i refused. And ten years later, I am still so fucking glad that somebody was not me.

Genuinely gonna cry lol. I’m 26f, and I’m an aspiring actress. I decided to start making vlogs and cooking videos so I could stay practicing on camera and being creative when I wasn’t getting much acting work.

My account isn’t huge, but I do get around 10k views per video and hit 25k followers recently so was really excited.

I didn’t think any of them saw my videos because none of them like or comment on anything, but they follow me.

One of my friends, who didn’t respond to them when they were making fun of me showed me the groupchat and they were just kind of making fun of me for “trying to be an influencer” and saying it was embarrassing and I was trying “way too hard”

I’m not even trying to be an influencer, I was just having fun.

I’m not going to stop it’s just making me sad lol… like damn why would you send it in a group chat and waste time making fun of me for having fun

We shared a lot of secrets that night. He told me he lost his virginity to aunt, waking up to her jacking him off, then giving him head and finally having sex. She was in her 30's at the time. I instantly comfoterted him telling him that was awful and not his fault. I was surprised that he didn't seem to think it was a big deal. I had also found out earlier that he had a sexual relationship with his cousin as a teen. Later, he showed me messages where she would ask him to come comfort and cuddle her in between "clients" at a hotel room. She is a prostitute according to my ex. I have no problem with that profession I'm merely stating the fact. There were pictures that she sent him of her in lingerie asking if they were a good valentines outfit for her clients as well.

He admitted their sexual history showed me everything and vowed to never have contact with her without me present. All the sudden she was not at any family functions and when I asked why to his mother, I was told he requested she not be around anymore because he wanted to respect our relationship so that's the only reason I felt ok to keep going. I told everyone I never asked that of him or the family because in my mind I liked her. She is smart, funny and can hold an intelligent conversation. She is not the one who owed me a damn thing, he did. So I saw that as him respecting our commitment to each other.

Fast forward to now, we aren't together anymore. It didn't work out. He became "suicidal" in his words and needed to stay with his mother at 45 years old. He kept telling me he wants to get married, he loves me more than anything, he wants to move with me after I sell my home, will not take his belongings from my house or separate in anyway with accounts or possessions. None of that happened.

He will not explain to me why he doesn't want to fulfill his promises to this day yet continue to text randomly and call me in the middle of the night.

I'm so over men lying about their intentions. And looking at his sexual history makes me gag every time I think about it now. I cannot believe I accepted his excuses because there are none. He now has accounts under his middle names with this same cousin he has been sleeping with making a comment "I'm with you" , just disgusting. I just wanted to know what the fuck i did to make this man who pursued me hard for over a year to just give up without excuses. At the same time, I think about what he told me and think it's for the best because my god. He has fucked up sexual boundaries and who knows what would've happened in the future. Not to mention he put his hands on me, even choked me so hard he broke the tendon on my right side of my throat so much so I couldn't swallow for almost two weeks.

I know i deserve better. Just needed to get this out. Somewhere. Tell me I'm not crazy. If I am. Tell me that too please.

My girlfriend works with this guy. Every time they pass each other they smile amd say hello, but i notice he never talks to anyone else, from what i can tell. She told me he's into salsa. Then she said he came up to her car the other day and they were talking about music and dancing not dancing together, but i guess their hobbies. And now she's out thrift shopping for cowboy boots during her weekly thrift store runs, because he asked her to pick up a pair and he'll pay her back.

I asked her why she's picking up shoes for some other man and she didn't really have an answer, other then " well im always out thrifti g, and he wanted cowboy boots." just don't like it. I've caught her chatting up some guy and then hiding the messages from me before so my trust is already shot, and this feels like it's building toward something. Am I being a dickhead for thinking this is borderline not cool, or am I just paranoid?

Before I (accidentally) got pregnant, I had reached the best fitness of my life and felt wonderful. I changed careers, we were finally getting where we wanted to be, and then our surprise baby came along.

My mom used to tell me to have more kids because I was such a good mom and I would reply: "I can be a good mom to 2, I can't do it for more though." And that was the most truthful thing I ever said. Because I've never felt like a good mom since.

It's been 3 years of misery. She was a horribly difficult baby, and for years cried nonstop (we went to the pediatrician, to therapists, to several specialists looking for answers). It devastated our home life, hurt our relationships with our older children, my body has never recovered, our marriage is struggling, I literally don't feel human any more...

She's 3.5 now and becoming easier to handle. We have joyful moments. But so many things are still hard or impossible (going on a cruise? Literally impossible unless we upgrade to a massive family suite or convince grandparents to go with us). Our older two are best friends and run off to play, but they never want the youngest around, so she's always begging for my attention when I could be doing something else.

I love her, but I so deeply and painfully regret having a third, it breaks me. I hate that I feel this way. I want to be a better mom. I love her as an individual, but I can't help feeling like having a third has broken us and our family.

This is just a vent/rant, I just needed it out. Sorry for any typos, I'm a bit shaky and just wrote this in a stream of thought. Idk if I want advice, not much I can do until I move out and it's not an option rn. I just... want someone to listen to me that won't tell me it'll get better as he matures and grows up. He's 23, it's a bit late for that. Anyway, rant:

I'm incredibly mad at my parents, I want to lash out and hurt them like they're hurting me but i just can't. every time i want to say something, tell them the harsh truths and just lay everything out i cant, because i already have before, and it has done nothing.

My "brother" (from now on G, because i gag every time I have to call him "brother") is psicologically and emotionally abusive. He's a master manipulator and gaslighter with a narcicistic screak a km wide and a victim complex that my mother eats up. That's her baby boy, her prince, even when he does the same to her that he does to me. I've been trying to get him out of my life since I was 15 years old, or at least limit how much I had to have him in my life as much as I could at that time.

Last year I said enough, and went no contact. It was the best year I've had since I was 13. My anxiety practically dissipated, I lost weight, I rediscovered my passion for writing and painting. But during the summer, on a vacation to see my grandparents, he spent the entire week psychologically torturing me, and as always my mother didn't see a thing. The last straw: he started verbally assaulting me in front of her, and she did nothing. NOTHING. Just told me to answer him, he was speaking to me, even after I reminded her she agreed to deal with him, to finally start protecting me from him. Her husband had to intervene, and only then he left me alone, because G doesn't have the balls to actually confront anyone. But the harm was done: he now has confirmation that he can do anything to me, and she won't do shit.

I crashed out at her later, had a panic attack in front of her and everything, and she agreed that I'd never have to see him again. Promised me that she saw now (after her husband took my side, that this was not okay, that her precious angel abused me in front of her and she just let it happen).It didn't last a fucking month. And in comes dad, who so far has done pretty well protecting me (especially because G doesn't have the balls to pull his shit in front of him and knows my father will protect me, unlike my mother).

But because he's never actually seen G at his worst, he thinks I'm exaggerating, and my mother obviously downplays the abuse both she and I suffer. So he thinks the situation is salvageable, no matter how many times I tell him that I just want G out of my life. So now I'm forced to interact with G whenever he desires it, and I just have to take it. Rules were established, rules he broke not even a week into the agreement.

I've spent today trapped inside my room, leaving only for the bathroom. My mother left me alone with him (something she, again, promised she'd never do after he tried to force his way into my room last time she abandoned me with him) with zero warning, literally told me she was going to leave as she was grabbing the keys, and I wasn't able to stop panicking and shaking until I wedged my desk against my door, braced on my bed, so there would be no way of getting inside. I haven't eaten in two days, I can't sleep, I can't breathe. I keep having to take deep breaths over the tightness of my chest, because I feel like I'm drowning. I haven't slept well in almost a week, already stressed about having to cohabit with him again. My stomach is cramping from lack of food, but I just can't get anything down. Everything hurts from being tense all the time, I'm overstimulated and overwhelmed from the constant hyper-vigilance.

I just want this to stop. I want to feel safe in my own home. I want my parents to respect my decisions, limits and boundaries, to stop putting my mental health on the line because they don't want to deal with the monster they created. I just want them to protect me.

It feels like men have a genuine hatred for me. That I’m seen as some kind of freak show because I’m not large-chested like other women. Even my partner prefers curvier women and says the only reason he likes my small chest is because no other men will ever look at me. My own mother told me that the only men who will ever date me will be predators who are attracted to me because I’m ‘childlike.’ I don’t dress in a childish way, I don’t act childishly. It’s just because I have a smaller chest. And all I ever see online about this is people saying that if you find smaller-chested women attractive, you must be attracted to little kids. Meanwhile these same people will look at images of ‘developed’ young teenage girls and say that somehow the size of their bust implies consent. Our whole consent culture just relies on whether or not guys think your breast size is acceptable. So beyond the fact that I’m looked at like a freak, people also think that anyone who would ever want me for my body is also a disgusting creep who should be in prison.

I know my problems aren’t huge and that I should be grateful for no back pain and all, but it feels like a huge part of being a woman is denied to me. The idea of ever being seen as attractive or even as an adult is completely disgusting to other people. I’ve never had male attention aside from my partner, who reached out to me because I was incredibly isolated, even in real life boys used to avoid talking to or doing projects with me in college. They acted as if I weren’t there, while they’d talk happily to girls with larger or even medium chests, even in a friendly way. I don’t expect attention or anything, but it seems to be a fundamental thing for all ‘normal’ women to experience. I’m an outsider. It’s also harder for me to make friendships because while other women are out being asked for nudes or dating a large pool of guys, even dressing up and being able to be seen as attractive, I’m sort of just here in my own corner, unable to relate. I feel like an alien.

I’ve considered surgery, but even if it was affordable to me, I would most likely be outcast and mocked if anyone ever found out about it. I just feel like I’m seen as a child, even now that I’m an adult. I don’t want to be popular or loved by all, just seen as normal

I experienced a lot of trauma during the birth of my son. Honestly, it was after the birth. I went in to be induced. It was a little slow, then picked up the next night. I pushed for 20 min and he came out. Only had a first degree tear going up, which is not fun for my urethra but not the worst it could have been. I also had a couple stitches going down. I cuddled him as my husband watched and our family came to support. 

Well, that night it all started. At around 9-10 I continue gushing out blood every few seconds. I was bleeding way too much for pads. They massaged my uterus and clots upon clots just kept coming out. I became extremely lightheaded, couldn’t move even my hands, and could barely keep my eyes open, even while lying down. They had to force me to pee with a catheter. Because of the stitches, it hurt so bad. I screamed begging them to stop, which they obviously could not. At the time, I thought it was the worst pain on earth. After, they gave me a shot in the thigh and told me I could sleep.

The next morning, they got me up to the bathroom to pee. There a baseball sized clot came out. I also kept gushing blood in bed, still too much for a pad. That’s when the nurses called my obgyn to come in. My doctor said she was just going to look around in there and would give me medication to make me not feel it. 

This is where it really began. So, she gave me the medication, which made me so loopy. I was laughing and giggling up until the examine. She reached, full hand, into my vagina and up into my uterus to try and find more clots. I have never felt pain like that in my life. I screamed and screamed and begged them for a break, but they said they couldn’t stop. I closed my legs and wouldn’t let them open, as I sobbed. My husband couldn’t stand next to me. I just saw him crying on the other side of the room. At that point, my doctor saw that she couldn’t do it that way, since the clots were way too high up and I couldn’t handle it. She decided to send me to OR.

I was so loopy from the pain medication that I didn’t understand what was going on. They had my husband sign the consent form, and I was rushed downstairs without my glasses and without an explanation other than they need to get the clots or I’ll bleed out. I was already hemorrhaging badly. 

I watched and could see nothing but blobs as they carted me through halls and down elevators, since I have -5.00 prescription on my glasses. I then reached this curtained off area where a woman and the anesthesiologist team was. I was sobbing and hyperventilating. I just wanted my husband and baby. I just looked up at these blobs of people as they explained to me that I had some risks because I had eaten just before. I couldn’t even see their faces as they used the word asphyxiation, which to my loopy mind meant I was going to die while under. I started hyperventilating more and just freaking out. I said I didn’t want to do this and that I just want to wake back up. I begged them to promise I would wake back up and no one did. One of the doctors told me he was just going to slip some meds in on the “down low” to “ease my anxiety.” They worked, except for the fact that it just made me settle with the fact I was about to die. 

They wheeled me to the OR room, where they put a mask on my face. The last thing I remember is telling the world that I loved my husband and baby boy and the promise I would wait for them where ever I was going. 

Then I woke up in some room. I was out of my mind under anesthesia. I don’t remember much other than telling all the nurses how handsome my husband was. I was wheeled upstairs to my room, where my mom, sister, mother in law, and my husband were waiting. I don’t remember this part, but my husband said I was just so happy and giddy. He said he cried when I said “I thought I was going to die, but here I am!” 

I know there is worse birth trauma out there, but I just haven’t been able to sleep without thinking I won’t be waking up. Every time I look at my husband and son I think of my promise as I was fading out. I thought I was being put to death, without an explanation. I understand how loopy I was. My birth team did what they had to do to save my life. They explained everything afterwards. But it is so hard to forget the moment. 

The title is very weird, i can explain as much as i can without giving too much away but incredibly long story short, my son is 6. Me and his mom (my ex of 5 years) are civil when needed but i truly do not like or want to be around this individual longer than I have to and I know she feels the same way about me. Our personal feelings about each other aside, we do manage to coparent in a stable manner when it does pertain to our son (i’ll explain this in a bit).

Another long story short, me and her haven’t been together in years, however she recently gave birth and informed me about the birth happening. It’s not mine, i truly think I met the dad randomly when I was picking my son up from her place a few months ago. However, that’s not my issue.

My issue is, she randomly called me a few hours ago (it’s been about 2 days since the birth of the baby) and asked me to pick up our son for his basketball game in the morning. I agreed and after agreeing on the time and location to meet, she then switched the topic and stated that due to her situation, she gave the baby up for adoption and that our son has been already spreading that he has a sibling at school and the school reached out to her. I actually didn’t know the gender of the baby until my son casually mentioned it to me 2 weeks ago (we have 50/50 split custody; 2 weeks with me, 2 weeks with his mom).

Essentially, my question is: How do I navigate this conversation with my son? He’s 6 and he honestly seemed excited about having a sibling from all the small things he has stated around me. However, according to my girlfriend, she’s stated that he’s said things that he’s aware of like “adoption” and “adoptive brother”. I actually forgot that this moment happened since it happened a few months ago but based on that, part of me feels like he already knows about it.

Also, my second question is: Am I wrong in feeling like this is something I shouldn’t have to explain to him? I’m very transparent with my son and I’ll explain anything he asks about in ways that a 6 year old can understand, but I feel like this is just wrong in the sense that, from the brief moments that my son has mentioned it, he’s excited about having a sibling. I know I don’t have the best relationship with his mom but this wasn’t something I had any part in but I understand where his mom is coming from. I really want to stress that I’m not mad at my son’s mother, i’m just mad at the situation. I feel like this is a topic that’s too heavy to try and explain to my son but at the same time, I also can’t let him go around with the idea of having a sibling then explaining to him why his sibling isn’t around.

I do apologize if this is all over the place, but I’m trying to just get advice on the situation and know how to properly navigate this one.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a bit. Recently we went and saw rings(a few times). I wanted to be sure what she was into. Today, I did it. I didn’t propose. But, I put the final deposit down on a ring. I’m. Fucking. PSYCHED. I’m making a dope ring holder to use when I do it out of some exotic wood. Not one of those cube shaped boxes. It’ll be the size of a phone so she can’t tell when it’s in my pocket. and a pop up storybook type deal when I open it. i can’t wait until it’s done casting bc I can’t keep a secret from her. At all. I’ll be strong though. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. She’s snoring next to me right now whole her cat is also KOed between us. I’ll be sure to take pictures with the ring and her before I propose(without her knowing) to show her after. I needed to get this out bc I’d tell her otherwise. SHITS GETTING REAL!

It's my birthday today. Turned fourteen just fourteen minutes ago, I feel nothing. It's just another 24 hours. Idk man. I'm no longer 13. gosh idk what im supposed to feel. nobody wished. It kinda sucks.

Have you ever met anyone like this?

Sorry, this is a long one, but I have to tell you about this guy I work with.

A coworker of mine is 26 years old and lost the majority of his family in a car accident when he was 22. He came from a family of eight: his parents and five siblings. Now, it’s just him and his little sister. But here’s the crazy part… this dude gets to the office at 5:00 a.m. and doesn’t leave until around 4:30 p.m. almost every single day, and he’s constantly putting everyone else before himself.

Every Monday morning, he makes breakfast for the entire office, even though he absolutely doesn’t have to. I’m talking 40 breakfast burritos, homemade bread, pancakes, eggs, bacon, you name it. He’s been doing this for a long time, just because he wants to.
And the more I learn about him, the crazier it gets. He’s incredibly frugal when it comes to himself. Shops at thrift stores, meal preps 90 meals at a time and stores them in his chest freezer, barely spends money on himself, and doesn’t even eat out. Meanwhile, the dude is a CPA making around $150K a year plus a bonus….

But when it comes to his little sister, he gives her the world. He says he has three kids, sort of: his little sister, her best friend, and her best friend’s boyfriend. He says those three mean the world to him, and he just wants them to have the best childhood possible. He literally has debit cards connected to his bank account for each of them and reloads them every week with something like $300–$500 each. On top of that, he makes weekly envelopes for his sister and her best friend, then every other week makes another one for his sister’s best friend and her boyfriend so they can have date nights together. And all he ever asks for in return is pictures of the memories they make.

I asked him what he actually puts in these envelopes, and it’s honestly insane. Every single one is some kind of adventure: shopping trips, spa days, amusement parks, dinners, or just random experiences he wants them to enjoy. One envelope might have a $150 dinner gift card, Dave & Buster’s cards, and shopping money. Other times, he’ll literally give them $1,000 to go shopping for the day. 😭

He’s sent them to Coachella with everything paid for, arranged trips to New York, and done all kinds of other things for them. And somehow, he still lives like he’s making minimum wage when it comes to himself. I swear, the more I learn about this guy, the harder it is to wrap my head around how someone can live like that. He works crazy hours, hardly does anything for himself, and seems perfectly content keeping his own life simple while spending his money making sure these three kids have experiences and memories they’ll never forget.

But one thing is obvious: he loves those three kids more than anything in this world, and he’s determined to make sure they know they’ll always have someone in their corner.

I’ve honestly just never met anyone like him. And deep down, I have a feeling he’s still grieving everything he lost. Maybe putting so much love into those three kids is his way of making sure they never have to feel alone the way he did. I don’t know, but there’s something about him that really gets to me. He’s been through more than most people his age could imagine, yet he still spends so much of his time, energy, and money making other people happy.

I was put on 3 mg on aripiprazole (Abilify) a little over 2 weeks ago for depression. It was working fine, then they decided to put me on 6 mg a week ago which caused horrible side effects. I couldn't stay still without feeling like I was going crazy, I would have panic attacks, stuff like that. a couple days ago they lowered my dose and gave me xanax for my panic attacks but I'm scared. I see my doctor again in 2 weeks and idk if I can tolerate this for 2 more weeks. I feel absolutely awful. But on the bright side, my depression is nearly gone. But on the less bright side, this feels worse than depression. I just need to tolerate the next 2 weeks because I feel like I'm going crazy. idek why I'm writing this here I just am going insane I swear.

Hey everyone, I'm reaching out here because the isolation is hitting me really hard lately. I'm a 24-year-old guy living in Mumbai, and I feel completely invisible in this massive city. I've dealt with loss most of my life.

My father passed away when I was 4, and my mother passed away when I was 21, right when I needed her most. Losing her broke me. Now, I am entirely on my own.

While guys my age have family safety nets or a home to go back to, I just return to an empty room. To make things harde I'm stuck in a low-paying job finance job. Mumbai is brutal when you're struggling financially. The daily grind and the stress of making ends meet leaves me completely drained, so I don't have the energy or funds to go out and socialize. What hurts the most is having absolutely no one. I really miss just sharing random stuff about myself with someone, or having a person to share my happiness with when something good happens. Instead, it's just a constant loop of a stressful job, coming home to total silence, and worrying about the future.

How do you cope with absolute loneliness when you're starting from sub-zero? If anyone has gone through something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing how you keep going because i am tired and i feel like i should just

Burner account just in case.

I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (21f) for 5 years now. Our anniversary was just a few days ago, we met during my senior year of high school and started dating very shortly after. I really have nothing to complain about the relationship itself, we understand each other very well and have helped one another grow over the years. We enjoy a lot of the same things and have introduced each other to new experiences. Of course we've had our fair share of squabbling and arguments, but what couple hasn't? None of this is what I need help with today though. I need help deciding if I'm about to make a really bad decision that I'll end up regretting later down the line.

For context: about a year or so ago a married couple who we're friends with told me that they were moving to a different state. One of them is attending college there, so they plan on spending four total years away while she gets her degree and then they're moving back afterwards. Because I'm very close with both of them, they asked if we would like to come with them and room at their new place. I've lived in our city for nearly my entire life, and quite frankly I'm a little tired of it. It's too hot, the landscape is bleak and it's just not my favorite place to be. The only reason my family even moved here was because at the time the cost of living was cheaper, but we've never left. I don't want to live here forever, I want to go out and explore and live in new places and experience new things and gain some independence, so of course this offer sounded very appealing to me.

It did not sound appealing to my girlfriend.

She's lived in our city for basically her entire life as well, but she doesn't share the same jaded attitude that I do towards it. She still lives with her family, same as I do, and she's always been pretty content with her situation.

Initially she outright shot down the idea, and that was that. We didn't really think or talk much more about it. But now that we're drawing closer to the actual date of the potential move, the conversation has reopened.

She told me that she'll never be fully 100% on board with the idea of leaving our city, our families, all the rest of our friends, but that she would do it if it meant we'd still be together. We've already discussed the option of long distance but ultimately we decided that it's not really feasible. Her love language is undoubtedly physical touch so she decided that being too far away from me is out of the question.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I want so badly to leave this city and live life somewhere else for a while, but I don't know if trying to convince my girlfriend to go on this same journey with me is the right thing to do, especially since she'd really rather stay here. I'm scared that if she does come with me that she won't truly be happy and things will become even more strained between us and we'll end up in an even worse position than if we never left at all. Of course there's the possibility that everything turns out alright and all this worry is for naught, but there's the very real possibility that things could go wrong and that we aren't ready for such a big leap. What if we go and then we're both unhappy, but now we're in whole different state away from either of our families with nowhere else to go? We could just move back to our home city, but that would be unfair to our two friends who would have to completely change their housing arrangements.

I just don't know if ending the relationship would be the best for both of us and our needs.

I already know that even if she really doesn't want to move, she would rather be miserable with me than without me, but I don't want that for her. I want her to be happy, I want us both to be happy but I can't figure out a good solution that doesn't end in someone sacrificing something they want. She has an anxious attachment style, and it became all the more clear with the last heated conversation we had. She said that she can't imagine a future without me, that the reason she clings to me so hard is because she thinks I'm the only one who will ever be able to truly love her. She said she could never accept anyone else, that the only thing that she ever wanted was to be with someone she loved and that nothing else would matter as long as she had that person. As long as she had me. She said that she would rather die than lose me.

I've been feeling so stressed and physically sick over it all. I do love her very much but leaving this city just feels like something I need to do, to grow and change as a person. I want to push myself to do new things and learn to truly live in the real world for once. Please, tell me what you all think. If I'm being selfish then please tell me what I need to hear so that I don't completely ruin everything we've created together over the last few years.

TLDR; I want to move to a different state, my girlfriend does not, and I don't know what to do.

I've always been an extremely passionate person with strong ideals and very romantic with regards to ALWAYS wanting a long term relationship that leads to marriage and possibly kids. It's something I wanted so badly and obsessed over my entire life and now I don't care for it anymore, I don't view relationships with the same earnest lens and I'm more likely to see it as transactional as opposed to romantic. I used to vehemently be against the idea of dating older men because I want to be with someone my own age and grow older with them and have something warm and nice. But now I just see dating older men as more practical, especially since I live in Canada and both men and women my age are struggling, like it'd be nice to at least date a guy with a car or a job. I'm more open to short term and casual relationships which is something I detested prior to getting medicated.

Now I know deep down it's not what I want so I still don't date older men even though I have more to gain in a financial way. I've just put dating on hold as a whole to focus on my own life.

I feel very lost, I honestly just want someone I can hug after 6pm.

I was with a man for six months, but somehow, it felt like so much longer. I have moved on with my life, and I’m now engaged to someone I love, but I still struggle to understand how someone I cared about so deeply could put me through what he did. I was in an abusive relationship for three years before him, and somehow, those six months left me feeling more traumatized, broken, and lost than those three years ever did. I still struggle to wrap my head around that. How can six months with one person leave scars that feel so much deeper than years spent with someone else?

When he got out of jail, I gave him a place to stay. I opened my home to him, fed him, cared for him when he was sick, and loved him the way I believed a partner should be loved. I gave him stability, comfort, and a place where he could feel safe. I tried to be there for him, even when things were difficult, because I genuinely cared about him. Meanwhile, he was cheating on me with men, spending time on subreddits filled with people who got off on cheating, and bringing men into my bed while I was at work. He didn't have a job, but somehow, I was still the one trying to hold everything together. The cheating became worse when he started bringing the very people he was cheating with into my home and pretending they were just friends. I was living in a situation where I couldn't even trust what was happening in my own home, the one place where I should have felt safe.

Every time I tried to leave, he found a way to make me feel like I couldn't. He would threaten to stab himself, beg on his knees, and make me feel like the most horrible person in the world for wanting to walk away. He made me feel responsible for his mental health, as though choosing myself meant I was abandoning him or causing him harm. There were moments when he had pills he threatened to take, and I was left carrying the fear of what might happen if I finally chose to leave. I tried to end things five times before I found the strength to stop letting him manipulate me into staying. Five times I tried to choose myself, and five times I was pulled back into a situation that was destroying me emotionally. I even reached a point where I told him he could have an open relationship because I thought maybe that would stop the lying. I told him he could sleep with other people while I wouldn't sleep with anyone myself. Looking back, I think about how desperate I must have felt to compromise my own boundaries just to try to make the pain stop.

He even went through my phone while I was sleeping and blocked people, including a male friend of mine. Little by little, I felt like I was losing control over my own life. I was trying to love someone while simultaneously trying to understand why that same person kept hurting me. I was confused, exhausted, and so emotionally overwhelmed that I barely recognized myself. I kept asking myself what I was doing wrong, what I could change, and why I wasn't enough for someone I was doing so much for. I couldn't understand how someone could look me in the eyes, accept everything I gave him, and then turn around and betray me so cruelly.

Eventually, I found the courage to leave. I had to accept that I couldn't save him, that his mental health was not mine to manage, and that I couldn't keep sacrificing myself to keep him from falling apart. Leaving wasn't easy, and it didn't mean I stopped caring overnight. It meant I finally understood that staying was hurting me in ways I could no longer ignore. But even after I left, the story he told everyone was that I cheated on him and abused him. After everything I had endured, I was left feeling like I had to defend myself against a version of events that didn't reflect what I experienced. There is something deeply painful about being hurt by someone and then watching them turn around and portray themselves as the victim.

What I struggle with most is not necessarily that he cheated. It's that I cannot understand how someone can treat another human being that way, especially someone who genuinely tried to love them. I cannot understand how someone can accept your kindness, your home, your care, your patience, and your loyalty, only to repay you with lies, betrayal, manipulation, and emotional turmoil. I keep wondering whether he ever genuinely loved me or whether he saw me as a convenient place to stay, someone who would take care of him while he did whatever he wanted. I wonder whether the relationship meant anything to him at all, or whether I was simply useful to him at the time. I may never know the answer, and that uncertainty is one of the hardest parts to live with.

Now he is with the mother of his child, and from what I can see, he seems to be loyal to her in ways he never was with me. I know I cannot possibly know everything about their relationship, but it still hurts and confuses me. It makes me question why I wasn't worthy of that same loyalty. Why was I good enough to provide a home, food, care, love, and support, but not good enough to be treated with basic honesty and respect? Why could he accept everything I gave him while repeatedly doing things he knew would break my heart? I know his behavior was not a measure of my worth, but knowing that logically doesn't always stop me from wondering emotionally.

The hardest part is that I have moved forward. I am engaged, I have someone I want to build a future with, and I am no longer living in that situation. Yet sometimes, the memories still haunt me. I can be happy in my present and still be deeply affected by what happened in my past. I can love someone new and still struggle to understand how someone I once loved could make me feel so worthless, confused, and alone. Moving on doesn't automatically erase the questions, the hurt, or the things that experience taught me to fear.

For those six months, I felt so lost. I was trying to be a good partner, trying to help someone I cared about, and trying to make sense of a situation that never seemed to make sense. I was constantly questioning myself, carrying guilt that wasn't mine to carry, and feeling responsible for someone else's choices and emotions. I felt trapped between wanting to leave and being terrified of what might happen if I did. I was giving so much of myself to someone who kept showing me that my feelings were not being treated with the same care. I don't think people always understand how damaging that can be. It's not just the betrayal itself; it's the way the constant lies, manipulation, and emotional pressure can make you lose trust in your own judgment. You start questioning what is real, whether you're being unfair, whether you're the problem, and whether the person hurting you might somehow be the person you are supposed to save.

I know I am a good person. I know I tried. I know I gave him love, patience, and opportunities to do better. I know I did not deserve what happened to me. But I still cannot understand how someone can look at a person who is trying so hard to love them and choose to hurt them over and over again. I cannot understand how you can claim to care about someone while knowingly putting them through that much pain. Maybe I am struggling because I would never treat someone that way, because even when I am hurting, I cannot imagine deliberately taking advantage of someone who loves me.

I don't want him back. I don't want that relationship again. I have moved on, and I am building a life that makes me happy. What I want is to understand how it happened, why it happened, and how someone could be so cruel to someone who was only trying to love them. I want to stop wondering whether any of it was real. I want to stop comparing myself to the person he is with now and questioning what she has that I didn't. More than anything, I want to make peace with the fact that I may never receive an honest explanation or an apology that makes any of it make sense.

Sometimes, I think that is what hurts the most: not missing the person, but being unable to understand the person they were. I am left trying to make sense of something that goes against everything I believe love should be. I loved him genuinely, and he hurt me deeply. Both of those things can be true, and I am still learning how to live with that. I survived those six months, but I am still trying to understand the parts of me that came out of them feeling broken, frightened, and lost. I know I deserve love that is honest, safe, and mutual. I just wish someone could explain why being a good person and loving someone sincerely was not enough to make him treat me with basic human decency.

I just went to see her in the hospital for the first time. We were together in the morning, singing songs. She drove me to a coffee shop, she went to a gym. We had a plan to eat lunch together back home.

I got home from the coffee shop, she wasn't coming. As usual, I had the "somethings wrong" thought, but dismissed it, cuz i have these every time And they are never true. After 2 Hours my dad came to say she was driven to a Hospital after people found her very weird acting and confused at the gym.

She probably had a stroke or something. She forgets everything said in the last 10 seconds And Always asks: where am i? how did i get here? we Always told her and she always asked again. And she is so scared And stressed because she know something Is Wrong but She Always forgets. She was crying. And i am too Now.. I love her very much And i know she is going through hell

I am scared she will stay there, im scared her brain Will be Forever damaged. FUCK everything was normal in the morning.