I am trying to order some estrogen for the first time from symphony labs and they want me to pay with bitcoin. I have no idea how to pay with bitcoin or what any of the steps are. Please help

Chronic lurker here and I have some queries.

I suppose one must start somewhere so here goes nothing. I find myself currently at university a bit far from home. And as one is told when they leave, you must explore the new frontier of possibilities given to you. And thus I find myself questioning whether my presence in this world as a man is something I want for myself.

I suppose this line of queries within myself has a long and buried history, of which I remember only select scenes of. Yet as my years go on, their frequency has only grown in numbers and intensity. I suppose as well that this could, in some ways, be similar to other people's experiences here.

And in that regard I present myself here, seeking advice from you who have done this before.

Most pressingly is the question of whether it is worth it or not. I am aware that circumstance dictates differently for us all, and I have been fortunate in aspects both social and material. Yet I fear, forthrightly so, that in shedding my cuirass and emerging as someone whom I can live with; I shall be wrecking this undoubtedly privileged life and it's accompanying happiness for a possibly truer but lesser amount of it.

Secondly, my question would be of how would one go through with it. Again, the matter of circumstance rears its visage, but supposing a better start considering mine; would it be recommended to seek professional help or for one to walk their own path? Do the institutions that are designed to help such issues have our best wishes in mind? There are many other questions that fit in this section. But, as for now, these are most pressing.

Lastly there is the question of the social aspects of this whole thing. We live in an age where vitriolic hate towards people who are trans seems to be on an uptick. From government to influential people who sadly see us through tinted glass and wish to excise trans people from existence. This is especially the case for people early in their transitions who, in my perception of things have been those who have been targeted the most, and by such vile attacks. And from which I have developed a reticence for not wanting to have to suffer that myself, even from the help of those who may still love me after such a large step that is And then all other aspects thereafter. From an outsiders view it seems painful in quite a few different manners.

Concluding this wall of text (please pardon the length), I admit that I am probably missing a few very substantial questions that I've forgotten to ask due to my ignorance. And I am sorry for my slightly archaic writing style. But if there is anything that you believe that should be brought to light for me to be aware of, you would be most appreciated. Furthermore, if some other detail is needed for a more concrete answer to my questions please ask. I have purposely not added any information on myself for the interest of privacy, but I can do so in the interest for answers.

Thank you for reading this and taking your time to do so if you have.

I live in North Carolina and the job situation here is pretty bad.

I want to take estrogen but I really want a gynecologist so I can be monitered.

I want to do so before I turn 25. However I just have no means of transportation and I have no money. It sucks ass. Does anyone know of some safe way to take estrogen and monitor it or should I just suck it up and wait until I can find a job?

Im 19 mtf pre transition pre e and don’t know where to look for trans friends or how to make trans friends I post on threads and stuff but doesn’t help idk what else to try and stuff wondering if anyone has any insight

Idk. I don’t who I can talk to about this. I don’t have any trans fem friends. I have a ftm friend and he’s my best friend, but he’s out and just has a different experience than me. I know none of my experiences are original, but it still hurts so much. I’m hesitant to fully accepting I’m trans because I’m so scared of being trans. Most of my family would cut me off, besides like 5 people, a few would leave me in fear of my life chronically. I’m scared how to navigate being in the middle of transitioning and having to be social. I’m 16. It feels too late already. I don’t wanna be a doomer, but god every fucking day I have to look in the mirror and I just wanna. I’m already so fucking emotional, I dropped a bowl of ramen and was on the verge of tears and wanting to end it because of it. Ik estrogen can make you more emotional, idk if id be able to handle anything without breaking into tears. I was recently in a situation where a former friend outed me to someone without my consent, made me think that my identity was integral to the situation. Turned out that “friend” lied to me and me being trans didn’t have anything to do with it, when I called her out for lying she whined that hasn’t she been through enough, other friends cut her off as well. I’m scared now that she’ll out me to hurt me, since she didn’t really care that much when we were friends and now she hates me, if I got outed my entire life would fall apart. I’m in fear constantly at school. I’m just so tired.

As if this entire week couldn’t posibly get worse, lmao.

My dad’s the more accepting parent in terms of my mental health and even my gender…whatever the hell it is, call it exploration or hell. But even then a lot of times he expresses a lot of disdain that I didn’t turn out the way he’d wanted.

It’s in minor ways, I should add. I’m sure he’s not really like that. But even then we’ll talk about football and sooner or later he’ll talk about how pissed he was about that Will Smith movie and how my mom wouldn’t let me play, and how much he wishes he could’ve taught me what he’d already taught his stepsons. And I just don’t know what else to say other than I wish I didn’t have a choice or a conscious that would’ve made me object.

Like I don’t like this. I don’t like relating to Creep by Radiohead. I don’t like having to shut off my brain if a day gets really shitty and I remember how much I wish I could’ve been somebody’s bride and trying to figure out what that means for me.

It just never clicked. Nothing ever does and that’s my fall. idk

Important thing to note: I need drastic results, especially for my forehead (brow bone, lowering, etc), and my nose (width from the front, overall size).

Which one would you recommend?

First of english is not my first language so some words are wrong or have a diff meaning.

So i have been recently questioning my own gender for half a year or so. before that i was trying to be a girl(online) for a year+ and it felt good like i didnt have to be like ive always been i could just be who was not me and like i said again it felt great it was at a time where i was failing school and had mental problems so i was rly looking for the moments to go online and do stuff and it helped me cope in a way and ye im now still online but have lost all connections to the person who i think knew was a boy but idrk i was just to needy with my feelings didnt let him have enough personal space for him and his other friends when he was playing with them so i cut ties with everyone. he and his friends so i wont bother him with my feelings. 2months ago from now ive been watching alot of femboy/transgirls vids like tabby,YukkoEX,Shyaren to name a few. only after i watched videos of them 2-3weeks made me realize that i acually want to be one or something like that its still confusing for me. tho i have been doing skincare and going to the gym more often since a week and a half but im having more and more trouble sleeping im thinking of buying sleeping pills or gummies but for now i cant fall asleep even with music it takes 1-2h till i fall asleep since the thing cuting ties started i think but its gotten so much worse as of now.

thanks for reading it idk it was rather me talking about my problems rather my sexuality still thanks.

I’m still job hunting and to hopefully make it easier I’m still presenting super masc. I just left my last job after working there for 8 years. I want to start my transition but also want to work. I live in a southern state. I feel super lost and unsure which to prioritize. My mental health wants me to transition but also I need money to transition. Long story short, living in the South and wanting to transition in the South sucks. I’d leave if I had the money but I need to work to get the funding for that. I’d appreciate any advice or even just some humor to help me get through this week of job hunting

I am on my 4th month of HRT right now, so still early. However I am increasingly dysphoric about my face. I have done a lot of the more obvious/easy things like laser beard removal for over a year (making progress but not done yet), different hairstyle, brows and just in general introducing a proper skincare routine.

But I don't feel like that or HRT did really anything to feminize my face. In some parts it feels like a downgrade despite my best efforts. I think my bone structure is my biggest enemy here. My side profile is especially upsetting to me.

Should I be thinking about and planning my FFS already? Or could it interfere with the fat redistribution in my face caused by HRT? Or could HRT still realistically achieve miracles if my face still looks distinctly masculine at this point?

And if I do, what would the best clinics in western Europe be to get it done? I know Facial Team is well known so I would have gotten a consultation with them for sure but I assume I should also consult with others? How do I decide where to go? Who is the most reputable?

It's all a bit overwhelming for me right now, especially since major surgery is incredibly scary. I don't know how to make a rational decision on this so some advice would help I think.

Egg cracked, feel like a big fat slob

Please help me with any and all weight loss tips.
I am a chud, desk rotting loser. It’s so hard for me to even start 😭

I NEED to lose weight to finally feel more comfortable being me

Apart from the mainstream, white cis-dominated LGBTQ culture and political movement... is there a discernible transgender culture? As in values, rituals, customs, etc. that we collectively share as trans and non-binary people? Or, perhaps a loose collection of subcultures?

Hey, I'm a trans lesbian girl named Anna, and I wanna meat all the other girlies named Anna on this sub!

Choose your movie—

1. Anna: Into The Anna-Verse

2. Anna: Across The Anna-Verse

3. Anna: In The Multiverse of Transness

I always said to myself before I fully accepted that I’m trans “I would love to be a girl, but I don’t want to deal with period, so I can’t possibly be trans.” then I learned that those don’t actually happen to trans girls, so YIPPIE!

Every since I realized I was a woman, I haven't been able to get off to the same porn I used to watch. It's so weird. It's like a switch got turned off and now imaging myself as the "man" in sex scenes does absolutely nothing for me. All of the porn I used to watch turns me off, and so I've had to find new material.

I decided to go for realistic/loving porn, as most porn is filmed in quite an objectifying way (towards women) and I wanted to find something I could identify with. I found this really lovely video of a couple kissing and making love and I found it beautiful, so I decided to "try it out," so-to-speak.

Well, that was a BIG MISTAKE. I literally started bawling my eyes out because 1) it was so tender and loving and beautiful and 2) it made me wish that I was the woman in the video. The way she was held and touched and fucked just made me so upset that I couldn't be her. I hate the fact that I was born as a man and that I probably won't be able to be like her for several years (inshallah).

I know it's all a matter of perspective, and I know that sex isn't off the table just because I'm a trans woman. I know there are lots of trades out there. But still. To be made love to as a woman would be a dream come true :))

Note: I am not a sex-obsessed pervert. Just a sad girl who wants to be loved

I was talking about my "dream" guy on another post. He's.. shockingly similar to who I was three years ago. It's so weird.

Im 15 and Im just so tired of it all. Day in day out its just all dysphoria. Sure I get pockets of euphoria here and there, but the dysphoria has just made me numb to it in comparison. I try so hard everyday, and Im not getting any closer to what I want. Having to watch my body masculinize every day is so horrific. I get up and I try every morning, even though I know that its only getting worse. I shave and I cut myself and I cry every time I do, just to have it all grow back right away and know that I have to do it again. I love speaking, and yet every time I open my mouth and speak Im repulsed at what Ive become. I put in all the effort, and yet I still never pass. Ill never get have the experiences cis women do, and I feel like im already too far gone. Todays been a mess, and it makes me wonder why I even try. Ive been out for 4 years now, and every day I tell myself to just make it through one more day, I promise myself thatll itll get better, and yet Im still not there. Im the happiest Ive ever been, and yet I still feel like this so often. Im not even particularly unhappy, but its just the feeling of being gradually eaten away at and mutilated is so draining. All I have to keep me going is the promise that someday Ill get to be truly happy, and yet my dysphoria has only gotten worse. The only thing thats actually made me happier is changing the factors besides my dysphoria (making friends, exercising, studying), yet each day I slip further from that. Im starting DIY soon, so thats currently all thats giving me hope, but without that notion I dont know how I could go on. I just wanted to get my feelings into words and vent into the ether, since I think I feel little better now.

For context, I'm 18 and have booked the telehealth appointment myself, and my parents aren't transphobic, but they insist that this is a decision I'm rushing into, and are worried that my decision is being influenced by my depression that started getting worse after my graduation a few months back, and has been diagnosed by my therapist.

They think I'm not in the right headspace to be making important decisions, and that I should wait until I've accomplished more of my other current goals.

Is this something real I should worry about? Should I be waiting a bit longer before I make my choice?

I’m fortunate that my wife and two kids have been unbelievably supportive in my transition. They have helped me with makeup, picking clothes, and are very affirming, everything.

The challenge we face now is my “parent name”. “Daddy” and the like do not make my identity. I cringe when I’m called that. However, my wife is “mommy” and I do not want to take that from her. She earned that, it would be confusing for us both to be “mommy” or similar, and I want to respect her as a magnificent mom.

We just can’t come up with other ideas. Names like mom1, mother, ma, mum, mpa, and mummy are all out for the reasons above.

We are considering Ama, but it sounds a bit odd.
My kids don’t want to use my actual name.

Any suggestions or ideas? How have others solved for this?

i’m gonna try and write this as short as possible

Basically, I started to transition about 5 years ago, when I started I was desperate to get on T to pass better, as the years have gone on I’ve gotten more comfortable in not trying to dampen who I am just to pass, I’m fairly effeminate (I wear makeup and I like cute clothes) (I don’t wear dresses / skirts / crop tops as I’m just not comfortable with them / don’t have a want to wear them , and I absolutely wouldn’t call myself a femboy of any kind, in fact that term makes me feel icky, but maybe “pretty boy” if that’s a term 😭)

all I really want from T is so have a more masculine voice (but I still want it to be soft and not like- super deep, just masc) more masculine facial features / build, but I’m not really interested in anything else that it offers, I don’t want facial hair and I REALLY don’t want a chance to have male pattern baldness, my hair is very important to me :’), and uh I don’t want the other stuff that I’m not comfortable bringing up 😅

(side note: I 100% plan on having top surgery, I don’t plan to have bottom surgery because I’m asexual and that doesn’t matter to me as I don’t get periods anymore (meds))

What should I do to feel most like myself? / are there levels of T low enough to only slightly affect me And get me the more masc voice / facial features? I want to live my life without feeling guilty about being a “trans man stereotype“ and also have people see me as a effeminate boy and not just some random girl (at the least) 😅, I’m mostly worried that I’m gonna have a hard time finding a partner that really sees me as a guy (mlm) and this whole thing really stresses me out , advice would be very appreciated!!

For me, femininity is not just about clothes or makeup. It’s about what you feel inside, your softness, your emotions, and the way you see the world.

Sometimes, I just dream of being free to express that side of myself and feel like I truly belong. There is something beautiful about being yourself and feeling at peace with who you are. 🏳️‍⚧️

This is more of a vent than anything. And yes, I also posted this to r/trans, I just thought that maybe this community would also help.

I regret everything that I’ve done in my life leading up to this point. I spent most of my teenage years trying to push away my deep seated wants to transition because i thought it was wrong (my family hasn’t even accepted that my sisters a lesbian yet)

Because I spent so long fighting to be masculine i’ve hit a point where i feel like transitioning and actually passing would be impossible. I used to have long beautiful curly brown hair and a thin waist and honestly could’ve transitioned and passed easily if id been able to get on hrt, but i was just so avoidant.

Now im a 6’1 190lbs d2 athlete and i have no idea how to even get my body to look like it used to, and i dont think i even could. It just feels like i missed my window to love my body and how i look.

On top of the physical stuff, i have no space to transition. I live in an all male dorm and have a roommate who isn’t super open to any of that kind of stuff. I don’t get privacy at home. People in these kinds of communities don’t normally want to be around me because i look like the average guy who would’ve probably bullied them in high school. I just feel so utterly and entirely alone in this.

I’m not entirely alone, i have a girlfriend, but i’m a foot taller than her and all she likes to talk about is my masculinity and how attractive she finds it so i feel as though i could never tell her what’s going on and it’s making it harder to be around her.

I just have no one and no resources and i’m slowly spiraling into this pit that i can’t seem to pull myself out of. Ever since coming to college I’ve seen more girls and i just feel so jealous of them and im struggling with that too. I just wish i’d listened to myself when I had the chance.

I know I keep asking essentially the same question here. But, the long and short of it is I don't trust my girlfriend to keep that information to herself. She has outed me before on things. Breaking up so I can take the medication seems a bit rash. I don't really want to lose her. I do feel morally obligated to tell her to some degree although she didn't tell me she intended on moving on to a new man when she convinced me to have a threesome with him. But, I digress.

Then again what is really the difference between her finding out now and when she sees my boobs or patch or smell or whatever?

I just feel like I keep waiting for the day I will tell her and that day never comes.

I (MTF 21) currently live with my parents after a rough few tries at collage. We live in a very red state and they’re extremely fox-pilled. They’re not hateful, just misinformed. I want to come out to them. I finally got on E about a week ago and plan on waiting until they notice me much happier before I do it, but I don’t know how.