My friend that I have known longer than any of my other friends (15+ years) has got cancer. He's going through chemo and things honestly aren't looking great.

I went to visit him the other day, and the moment he saw me in his driveway he jumped out of his chair, like actually jumped, and RAN up to me screaming and spitting with rage. Mind you he had HEART SURGERY two days ago.

He called me every slur I've ever heard. Threatened to beat me, threatened to shoot me, I mean seriously I've never ever in my life heard someone get so irate. Not even online where anybody can say whatever they want. This was brutal. I got my car door between us and managed to get back in it. He told me never to come back to his property ever again. He was still out screaming by the road as I sped off.

Nobody (him, his wife, his adult kids who were there at the time) has reached out to me and I haven't reached out to them. I genuinely don't know where this came from or what I need to do. I don't even know if this would really be the right sub for this.

Help?

I'm 3,5 years in HRT and for some time I've been thinking how many things there are that most people can't really understand, but only those who've transitioned. I wanted to hear what's yours and I hope to read your experiences and discussion on how you're dealt with the issues :)

Hi I’m Erin she/her and omg I fricken did it I took my estrogen and blocker for the first time just now!!! I never thought I’d actually do this and I was so unbelievably nervous but I did it, I followed through, and I can’t wait to see if I actually enjoy the changes! Very excited to see what is to come and hope my dysphoria gets reduced! Wooooo thanks for all the help girls, even if it was mainly lurking around lol 💜💜

I am a trans woman and as a child I was almost forced to be bold every two weeks or three since I was a child until was 16.
Barbers felt like the end of the world for me

Did you have a similar experience?

What was it like? Did you get your head shaved as a child ? Why ? And how did it feel like, and what did your parents say?

Gender swapped birth name: you are trying to be the same person because becoming unrecognizable scares you, but the change is inevitable

Birth name that is fem or neutral: its really simple why change it

Birth name that is masc: brave one, also you have a good relationship with your parents

Your parents chose it: you have a really good relationship with your parents

Starts with the same letter: keep it simple stupid, plus if you sign first initial last name no one can tell that you're changing your name

Lily: the basic but thats fine its sweet and pretty and expresses the euphoria of accepting who you are

Flower name: you're like lily but slightly different

Favorite character: you kin this character and they more than like cracked your egg

Classical name: how fancy miss

Mythological name: you believe yourself to be the strongest bitch in the room

Barbie or candy: someone is into bimbofication

What are some others?

I'm almost 4 months on HRT and it's been going really well, honestly the best decision I've ever made. I've never really had many friends because I've always been a really quiet anxious person (especially prior to starting HRT) but I have had one friend for the better part of the last ten years that I would consider my best friend, I came out to him first actually and he had no problems with it at all and was even supportive. Fast forward a couple months though, last night I was on the phone with him as we usually do sometimes just kinda chatting when out of nowhere he starts talking about how he's really glad I found out I'm trans and I've been doing really well but that it's like all I talk about (his own words) and it all "kinda consumes me" and because he can't relate to it he doesn't wanna hear about it (nearly his exact words).

Now, I took this and immediately kinda started to remove myself from the situation, I was frustrated. We've always talked to each other about whatever and it's always been that way, just kinda a judgement free zone to talk honestly and it's been really nice. He's spoken to me through some really hard times in his life with things like addiction and although I can't relate I have always lent him an ear. That's most of why this hurt so much for me. I responded talking about how I really don't feel like that's true, I asked him if it was and he kinda started walking it all back saying that's not what he meant and he misexplained himself. He also mentioned how me talking about things like femme clothing, having a more feminine frame, and just like trans girl things in general make him uncomfortable because he feels like he would only talk about those things with a romantic partner so it "makes him feel like that even though he doesn't want to". I kinda started losing it at this point just because of how frustrated I was, I told him things aren't a one way street and hung up. We texted a bit more later that night and he apologized and said he had had a stressful day that spilled over into our friendship but I honestly don't believe him. We spoke again briefly the other day and he said he "needed space to focus on himself". I'm just weirded out by this entire situation, did I react in an okay way? This all just hurts a lot, this person was really my only irl friend aside from my sister but I hardly ever get to see her because we both work full time and are students, I feel so lonely and just like frustrated. This all really makes me doubt if I'll actually be accepted by anyone, ever since I came out to the few people I have so far I've been met with almost nothing but negativity. And for what you know? All I want is to be happy.

For me, this is HUGE. Early this year I finally bit the bullet to get my right ear pierced to match the two piercings in my left ear lobes.

I know, I know... but, I'm older. I am from the times when a guy having his right ear pierced had too many stupid social implications and judgements.

But I am finally free of those limitations!

Finally my piercer gave me the all clear to swap out my jewelry on those piercings. While for the past almost two weeks I've been wearing medium size-ish super cute twisted hoops that to me are so pretty, elegant and timeless I just now changed those out for 60mm silver "plain Jane"... wow, my euphoria sky rocketed in a most unexpected way! Seeing them there, finally, paired, I don't have the words to describe it any better: I feel more like "me".

I am loving the woman I've always been for a very long time and am slowly becoming. I just wish this was 20 years ago, but, at least the world is finally seeing the real me! SO much more to go and my journey has only started.

The entire trans community has been so amazing and supportive!

KS resident here. I never got a notice asking me to surrender my license (I probably wouldn't have anyway). Because it was posted in the Kansas Register, I was supposed to surrender it regardless.

Now here we are 9 months later, and I am terrified to vote. I'm afraid they will take my license from me and/or throw me in jail for not surrendering it.

I have this gay 'friend', who refuse to use feminine pronouns on me because I am still biologically male and pre transition. He says I am trying to seek attention. He, representing another huge portion of LGBTQ+ community, is condemning the majority of our community claiming we're seeking attention. They say 'real trans women' don't act like I do.

First, all of us LGBTQ+ individuals go through a lot of trauma. Therefore many of us express ourselves and cope with our disphoria differently. One might find being a male mildly irritating while another it drives suicidal. Therefore it's illogical and immoral to compare LGBTQ+ individuals.

Then, they're logic falls apart when they ask us to be 'normal'. What is normal ? If it is fitting into social norms, we're already breaking them. We aren't hurting anyone by being ourselves. Their logic is irrational because they're saying "It's okay to violate social norms, but only up to this extent". And that extent they don't mention.

The limit I consider, whether accepted or not by society is when one hurts another intentionally. Their limit is what feels modest to them. Modesty is not solid. It's dynamic. What was modest a hundred years ago is ridiculous today and vice versa. They demand us to live up to their standards of modesty. These are the same people who dress code women. These are the same people who refused women to wear pants.

When they say we're giving bullets to transphobes projecting a bad image of community to the society, they're once again demanding us to live up to their standards. We giving bullets won't be a problem if they choose not to shoot.

So I'm on the bus rn and some girl tapped my leg and called me pretty! She corrected herself and called me handsome, but I said I accept both. I'm not even trying to pass rn, I just have my hair back. It makes me feel so tingly, but in a good way!

EDIT: Forgot to mention that the guy next to her, while we were speaking, had his hood on and was looking away. But afterward, he was looking in my direction again. Idk if that means anything, but I thought it was interesting

Title sums it up I'm 35, 4 years in and I wont be able to pass without surgeries and hair implants and I'm never going to be able to afford any of that because I'm a married mom supporting both of us off my salary and there just isnt enough to go around anymore post inflation spikes. My wife works too but only makes 20k which barely pays her bills.

I dont know how to cope anymore I'm on my 3rd or 4th trans friend group because everyone either grew up, moved on, successfully transitioned or all of the above

Watching cis women live their own lives is one thing but seeing all the "men" around you transition into beautiful women while you get stuck in between is brutal.

Im trying to figure out how to cope because suicide isnt an option but actually transitioning is sadly out of reach. I wish I could happily NB cope

My wife and family dont really see me as a woman so much as a femme man that likes to be seen as a woman I think, placating basically.

I honestly wish i could just be labotomized so i could still support my wife and daughter without having to be conscious like I am now.

I’m writing this with the help of ChatGPT because English isn’t my first language. Please forgive me if some things don’t come across exactly as I feel them.
I’m a trans woman, and I honestly don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
For the last three years, I tried to build the life I wanted. I started HRT, went through laser hair removal, worked on my appearance, and tried to become comfortable with the woman I knew I wanted to be.
But I was doing all of this while living with a family that threatened to kick me out of the house if I wore women’s clothes or came out publicly as a woman.
Think about what that does to a person.
Every day, you’re trying to become yourself while knowing that showing the world who you are could cost you your home, your family, and the people you love. You start calculating everything. You hide. You make compromises. You tell yourself you’ll do it later, when you’re stronger, when you have money, when you can survive on your own.
And eventually, you get tired.
I got tired.
I detransitioned. I stepped away from the life I had been trying so hard to build. I tried to return to living as a man because I thought perhaps it would make life easier, perhaps I could rebuild my career, perhaps I could keep my family and avoid losing everything at once.
But nobody talks enough about what it feels like to walk away from something you’ve spent years working towards, not necessarily because you stopped wanting it, but because you became exhausted from fighting for the right to have it.
I feel so lost.
I’m trying to rebuild my life. I’m trying to figure out my future, my career, my family, and whether I have the strength to face everything that might come with living openly as a woman.
Sometimes I wonder whether anyone understands how lonely this is.
I don’t expect the world to stop for me. I don’t expect anyone to solve my problems. I know that ultimately I have to build my own life and find a way to support myself.
But sometimes I wish someone would look at me and understand that I’m tired. That I’m scared. That I’m not playing a game with my identity. That this is my actual life, and I don’t know how to make all the pieces fit together.
I wish I could talk to someone who has been through something similar. Someone who understands what it’s like to want transition so badly, to begin that journey, and then to feel forced to step backwards because the people you depend on cannot accept you.
Did anyone else have to choose between their safety and living openly?
Did anyone else detransition because of family pressure, financial dependence, or fear, only to find themselves still thinking about the life they left behind?
How did you find your way forward?
I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking for by writing this. Maybe advice. Maybe reassurance. Maybe just a reminder that I’m not the only person in the world who has felt this way.
Is there anyone out there who understands? Is there anyone who cares?
I’m still here. I’m still trying to figure things out. And somewhere underneath all this fear and exhaustion, I still want to believe that I can have a life that feels like mine.
I just really need some kindness right now.
Thank you for reading. ❤️

Anyone have experience with FFS at OHSU or Legacy in Portland?

I'm starting to look into FFS and trying to get a better idea of what to expect with the options in Portland. My doctor sent a referral to Legacy first, but the wait is apparently 2–3 years. I've heard OHSU might have a pretty long wait too.

I'm mostly looking to hear from people who've gone through either one, or are currently in the process. How were the consultations? What were the surgeons like? How did you feel about your results? And how long did everything take?

my mom doesn’t want to call me my name although I came out 7 fucking years ago. I feel like people hate me and look down at me, I had some old “Christian“ guy call me a “trans pervert“ a few weeks ago and I thought I passed. I have so many friends who tell me that I pass 100% but I don’t feel like that’s true...

I hate being trans, these fucking politicians talk about us like we’re not even people, and they assume the worst. All they know is that im trans and they assume I wanna hurt them or hurt kids. They‘re the perverts, I would never hurt a child or anyone, they‘re thinking about that stuff, not me.

I hate it, I hate it so much, and we talked about transgender ppl in psychology class and one guy ik a “Christian“ left the class bc it hurt his feelings. it pisses me off bc in that class I felt so scared, and then the teacher days later said that someone complained about “the class subjects” online. I can only guess but it was probably someone who hates transgender people… They hate me and judge me without any evidence and cant do anything about it. It irks me even more when they pretend their own freakish thoughts are those of Jesus Christ even though the Gospel says “there is neither Jew or Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male or female for we are all one in Jesus Christ“

I AM A FUCKING HUMAN BEING AM I NOT??!!?????????!!?

But I feel so awful and ashamed, I hate being trans, I didn’t want this and all those freaks who judge me, it’s not like they’re all just strangers, my mom told me that being transgender is a fetish, my step dad always assumes I like to dress like some freak, but I dress like every other 20 year old girl. My grandma degraded me and laugh at me for not having a period, she also assumes I violate others, and she touched my boobs once… but yea, I am the creep :/

my uncle is closish actually to understanding, but there’s no excuse for when he lifted up my skirt once. I’m shocked that I didn’t punch him in the face for it, but I blocked him and my grandma. it still hurts tho. my aunt says I am confused and apparently putting female hormones in my body and living as a woman is misogynistic.. Nothing says I hate women more than living as a woman -_-

im hurting deep down inside and I just wish I was dead (dw, I will be fine)

yep. you guessed it, i’m one of yalls.

gotta clarify this though: I AM CLOSETED.

don’t get your hopes up tho, i’m not even an adult yet :/

but uhh yeah wild stuff.

I have bralettes, but I see a lot of people say you shouldn’t buy expensive bras early into HRT since your boobs haven’t fully grown yet. However, mine getting pretty noticeable 4 months into HRT and I’m looking to buy some bras.

So, what’s a good brand to buy my first bra from?

So my power went out briefly a week or two ago due to heavy rain (just a temporary flicker) but my refrigerator started making weird noises again that scared me into thinking i might have to throw away all the groceries I literally just bought 😭

So my apartment manager sent someone out to take a look. I'm like half asleep because I work at night..and I need to get to bed.

The guy arrives & just kinda stared at me while being let in. It wasn't really that weird, but you can tell he was trying to avoid using pronouns at all cost lmao.

So he does the quick check/ repair...then kinda just starts talking about how he has a house & lives alone.. I'm not really too upset but I really want to get some sleep. And on his way out, he said " I'll come over anytime you need, i can give you my personal number so you don't have to ask (managers name) or call the company anything you need if there's a problem"

I just said "ooh okay I think it's working good now thank you" then he left & I locked my door. Instantly thought that made no sense, because then * I * would have to pay for the maintenance visit...... so. I think he was low key trying to take a shot??

Funny thing is, I was trying to boy mode in shorts & a hoodie and I was like nodding my head but ig hrt is making me male fail at 6 + months. I definitely don't pass, so please.. im trying to gloat or be extra. It made me kind of smile & feel a little validated.

And... I definitely would not sleep with this guy. He's like in his late 50s & I'm a lesbian.

I apologise if I'm in the wrong space, and if I am then Im wondering if I can be directed into the appropriate space possibly? I do come to Reddit for some things but it's usually computer related so I'm not too sure if this is the correct place. I apologise if it's wrong.

I'm 23(man) and my best friend is also 23 (woman). She is transgender, I've known her for 10 years. I've seen everything (I think, I may be wrong) in her journey.

I'm wondering if I should feel uncomfortable or this is somewhat okay (I'm personally so uncomfortable with it). She is the only transgender person I've ever known (that I am aware is transgender) and of course I am not myself so I could be so extremely wrong. Which is why I'm here, I don't know anyone else with experience in this stuff beside her and I don't know if she'd like me to bring it up. I know she doesn't use Reddit and after speaking to her boyfriend it doesn't seem he does either.

So she has a boyfriend of like 9 months or so, could be less or so. He's nice and what not, they had a rocky start with "I don't know if I'd be comfortable with being with a trans lady" but he turned around and saw who she truly is. I've been happy for them and I've truly thought he was so lovely for her as an opinion. However, he has his main group of friends and they're all cis men (as a fact). And if I'm correct, they're all straight too. Why I'm only mentioning their sexuality is because if I AM correct then for what I know they have no tie to the LGBT+ at all. I don't really talk to them so I'm not sure on everything. From what my bestfriend has told me, she doesn't speak to his friends. She has her own + me, he has his own friends. That's fine. Me and her are of course really close but also really independent so I'm never entirely sure. Important to note.

One day a few weeks ago, her boyfriends friends asked SPECIFICALLY him AND her to come to one of their houses because they had a surprise for HIM. I've capitalised those words because they're important in my mind. Remember she doesn't speak to his friends. He drove both of them to whichever house it was, and they held a box towards him. He opened the box and there was a t-shirt. The t-shirt had a big red arrow pointing to the side, and it said "this is my TRANS PARTNER". I think from the details of what I've heard from everyone-Ish involved it was custom made but I could be wrong. He held it up to his chest and his friends (a group of like 8, I'm not entirely sure but around that number) bursted out laughing. From this point, it's entirely from my best friends account and I believe her. My girlfriend is the one who picked her up from the house and encouraged me to ask people who are more experienced.

They started laughing and so did her boyfriend. They were saying how her boyfriend should parade "IT" around "WHILST WEARING THE SHIRT". in that context, "IT" doesn't mean the tshirt. After the whole situation "died down", he was still trying to defend his friends and explain how she was "overreacting". He still defends himself on it. She ran out crying and called me to pick her up but I was at work so I asked my girlfriend to. Boyfriend didn't try to take her home or even ask if she's okay. My girlfriend picked her up and my bestriend was sobbing quite a lot apparently. She is a STRONG ASH woman so if she ran out the house sobbing then I know something was wrong. Afterwards when I was home from work she explained everything and both me and my girlfriend felt absolutely disgusted, but at the same time my bestfriend tried to play it off and make it out as if it's normal. She doesn't really talk about being trans. The only thing I know is that sometimes trans women use gay dating apps or sites to find understanding people, which is where she met her boyfriend which I'm going to be so honest right now that doesn't sit right with me either (I apologise for keeping saying this but I mean it, again I could be wrong). When she came out, she explained the medical process and that's it. I don't know the whole dynamic of it all.

To me, her boyfriends frięnds were making fun of HIM for having a trans girlfriend. Or even possibly making fun of her for being trans. Am I crazy? If you were to ask me genuinely how I feel about the situation I'd say it's disgusting. I understand as a straight trans woman you may meet some weird men. Well no, you likely WILL meet some strange men. But he seemed normal for about a year. Does this seem like he doesn't take the relationship seriously or no? To me, it could be that he may have some mistakes when it comes to understanding trans people which I get in some way but at the same time don't get into a relationship with a trans person if you aren't going to listen to them, or he could just be an asshole.

It feels wrong to me that he tries to defend himself, because at this moment, he still thinks there's no wrong in what he and his friends did. It's not even neccesarily what they DID, but what her boyfriend DIDNT do (like check on her or listen to her).

But again, I'm very open to being wrong and taught why that is. Their relationship is none of my business, realistically. But I'm going crazy on this. I may delete if I get worried she'll see this but I genuinely don't know where to go. She has her own life and this won't affect that, I just REALLY need to know if I'm crazy or not. I want her to be safe and with someone who won't treat her badly.

Again, sorry if this is wrong or the wrong place or wrong whatever. Thank you, lovelies. <3

Edit: I appreciate everyone's understanding responses. I'm trying to respond to them as I have time available. I also apologise if this post gets delete, I already feel horrible for talking about a personal moment that isn't mine but it's gotten a lot of views and I worry. I appreciate you guys for taking my points in and understanding my feelings and my best friends feelings. I hope you have a wonderful night/day you lovely people <333 much love from me!

This is something that's been happening a lot recently when I try to talk about issues that are affecting me personally as a white trans woman. I often get responses like "if you're feeling this way imagine how it feels to be an immigrant right now.." or "at least you aren't experiencing what trans people of color are right now.." and like.. yea? I guess that's true.

I don't disagree that there are countless others that have it worse and are facing more dire circumstances than I am, I'm grateful it isn't worse for me, but I also don't think I'm committing some act of erasure or oppression by not bringing that up in my personal vent post about my own life. When people (who often aren't actually a member of the oppressed group they're comparing me to) interject with these sorts of statements it doesn't feel like they're trying to actually teach anyone anything or make anything better. What is the purpose of trying to make me feel like I'm undeserving of my emotions, or that I'm too privileged to have anxieties? Am I centering whiteness when I talk about my feelings? How does shutting me down and making me feel weak for being afraid help our community?

It feels like it's just the woke way of telling me my feelings are cringe and that I should fuck off and go away. I can almost see how it could be centering whiteness or taking energy away from larger issues if I was someone with a significant platform or fame but I don't believe that posting on my personal social media is a significant factor in anyone else's oppression. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it honestly feels like socially acceptable bullying.

Lately i been feeling very lonely, so last night i did something i thought i would never had the courage to do. I dress up, got all dolled up and decided to go for a walk on an empty parking lot. After what seem liked an eternity i got to my destination. There where a few empty cars and one car with an older gentleman in it who seem to have fallen asleep or something. I parked three rows away from him. I took a deep breath and worked the courage to get out of my car. At first i was just standing outside of my car. My nerves where getting the best of me. A small step seem like a mile to take i could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I guess adrenaline had kick in or something all i know it was exciting... yall let me know if you want to know what happen next.

Like when I see my bra strap it makes me happy:) like I just want to hear what small things you get euphoria from. Could be how you look, what you wear. I just want to hear

Has any US citizen gotten bottom surgery at GRS Canada? If so, what was your experience? Thanks