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I'm fed up. We have 3.5 year old boy (he is in daycare 5 days a week) and almost 3 month old girl (always at home). My husband recently returned to work after 3 month parental leave. I'm still on maternity leave.

He is always angry - it doesn't matter if it's a weekday or a weekend. Same was during his leave, same , maybe a bit better, when we only had 1 child. He doesn't want to go anywhere, doesn't plan anything, he looks pissed at every "daddy, why", every "daddy, look at me", every "i don't want that food". Every weekend he asks me what do I want to do as if he fully embraced slaves mentality, basically - "what did my manager/tormentor planned for today?".

Today toddler asked for me during his bedtime (my husband usually does his bedtime after our girl was born) so my husband had to hold our 3 month old girl because she cries every time she is put to her crib. I hold her every single day. Basically, during the day she screams every time I go to toilet, eat or leave her in any way. Sometimes I get lucky and she fells asleep in her crib. So anyway, my husband held her 30min and was even more pissed off, refused to talk to me later. Doesn't he understand that it's normal? I cannot do both. Well I could, but toddler has a cough and if baby gets sick we'll have to go to emergency. I prefer to avoid that.

He does chores, we have no family help, we hire cleaners every 2 weeks. I understand it's tough for both of us, but his bad mood is way worse for me than 2 kids screaming at the same time.

I don't think he has made peace with the fact that he has to be a father now, that he has to model life for kids, that he has to show kids that life is not a torment, that life is a gift full of fun things a person can do.

He spends time with toddler, changes our baby girl but I don't think he likes them. He says to me that he wants to be left alone. Toddler loves him, probably more than me. When I suggest my husband go somewhere alone, he refuses because he doesn't want to leave me in this hell.

During the argument, he said that he might be depressed, when I pressed to talk to his doctor about it, he said he did and that he prescribed him sleep medicine that could fix his mood (I do night wakings, he sleeps in another room). I don't think that medicine worked.

At days like this, I think low energy men should not have children. It's really hard for me to have any affection for a man when I think he doesn't like our babies. He does what he has to do with them, but I wish he could enjoy being a dad. I really wish.

Rant over.

My baby will be 10 months at Christmas so this is a non issue till probably next year, but my growing up, my parents had a tradition of celebrating Christmas with Santa on Christmas Eve. My mom has already started talking about Christmas with the baby and Christmas Eve traditions and I already know she wants Santa to come to their house and have the same traditions I had as a kid. My husband and I want to do Christmas morning and to do Santa at our house, but I don’t want to hurt my parents feelings. I do very much want my parents to be part of the “Christmas magic with kids” thing but I don’t think Santa should come twice.

Are there any fun traditions we can celebrate on Christmas Eve so my parents don’t feel left out?

Edit: my mother is emotionally immature so I don’t expect this to be an easy conversation.

Baby boy born on the 10th (happy one week 🥹) I had no significant tearing and am doing great myself for a week pp

Besides to the hospital little man hasn't been outside yet. I'm a bit anxious as a ftm.

But Halloween is my favorite holiday and I was thinking about taking an early evening walk out as a family. There's a little park nearby having a neighborhood kids party (kind of like a trunk or treat but no cars)

Is it unrealistic to bundle the boy up (he has a bear winter onesie coat so I was thinking I could do scarecrow makeup and husband could be a lion and we could be part wizard of oz lmao) and bring a bag of candy and get a few pictures?

Is Halloween too risky or overstimulating? I can't tell if I'm overthinking this

My children attend Silver Rail Elementary in Bend, Oregon. Many people have asked what they can do to help. If you or your kids are feeling this way, here's a relatively easy way to bring some love to our school community: We'd love to collect letters and pictures from all over the US (world?) to show them that there are good people everywhere. 💜

Silver Rail Elementary PTO

61141 S. Highway 97, PO Box 433

Bend, OR 97702

https://www.instagram.com/p/DelTFp_Sy0N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

My son Elijah is 10 weeks old, and I’m struggling a bit.

I’m a single mom without any help, and I can’t leave him alone for more than 5 minutes without him crying. I need to be able to shower, eat, clean, do laundry, and just get a few basic things done without him crying the entire time.

I really want him to take a pacifier because I feel like it might help soothe him when I can’t hold him, but he absolutely refuses. I’ve tried about four different brands, and he won’t take any of them. He is exclusively breastfed.

I’ve also tried waiting until he falls asleep before putting him down, but that doesn’t work either. He’ll sleep for maybe 10 minutes if I’m not next to him before waking up crying. So, please, “just wait until he falls asleep” isn’t a solution for us. 😭

I’m not expecting hours of freedom. I just want 20 minutes at a time to shower, eat a proper meal, or get something done around the house without feeling like I have to rush because he’s crying.

Has anyone else had a breastfed baby who refused every pacifier? Did you find a particular brand, technique, or alternative that actually worked?

I’d especially appreciate advice from other moms who were doing this alone without anyone available to hold the baby while they got things done.

I love my boy to bits, but I also need to be able to function as a human being. 😅

Our nanny left our toddler in the bath for 3+ minutes… while she went outside. I found out cause my meeting was done earlier so I sat with him. Her reasoning was “oh I didn’t think it was a big deal cause he’s so smart”. What would you do?

I took my kids (9 and 7) on vacation this week. We went on a tour of the Southwest, spending time at the Grand Canyon, Moab, and Roswell, NM. Beautiful trip. The issue is I forgot cigarettes before setting out driving through rural Utah and didn't have any nicotine patches either. We get to our cabin near Moab and I'm already irritable and withdrawing a bit. I didn't sleep that night because I was sweaty and just in a shit mood. That carried over into the next morning when I was feeling like garbage and I was just in a withdrawn and snappy mood until I finally got some nicotine in me the next afternoon.

It's not fair to them that I was in such a snappy mood on our one yearly vacation and I feel like a shit mom for putting them in that spot. I've been a smoker for over a decade. I quit during my pregnancies and stayed smoke free for about a year after my daughter was born before starting again. I have a high stress, high stakes job (I'm a cop for my city's PD) and got divorced three years ago and I just look forward to cigarettes as my stress reliever.

But I can't be ruining a nice time with the kids because I don't have enough nicotine in my system to avoid being an irritable mess. They deserve better than that. We're home now. They said they had a good time but they're polite kids. I need to do better.

UPDATE: The accursed man was apparently in problem-solving mode when he broke the news to me and did a terrible job communicating. He called in the cavalry (the in-laws) and I'm going to have help while he's gone! (We've never lived close enough to family for that. I've been hospitalized while he was on a work trip and it was his boss and our dear, sweet landlady who watched our kids while I was in the ER overnight.) Long story short, I'm ready to send the flock of man-hating birds on to the next person 🦜🐦‍⬛🪿

Thanks everyone for your support while I was losing it. You guys are amazing and I know to never get on any lady's bad side here

My husband is a wonderful, kind man. But right now all I can think about is that a friend told me birds in captivity tend to have female handlers and therefore hate men, and I just want to set a flock of captive birds loose on him.

He travels a lot for work, and we move a lot for that same work. This summer, we left the only place where I've truly loved living to move for his job again, even though it was an option to stay. I got pregnant with our third kid because this new assignment is supposed to be basically a straight 9-5 with zero travel. I also started classes again because I'm ready to move away from being a SAHM.

Now, he got an opportunity to go on a work trip that would supposedly make him more relevant back at our old location and increase the likelihood we can go back later. I talked myself into agreeing to this TEN DAY transatlantic trip because he was supposed to be back in time for Thanksgiving break and I'd have a week to recuperate.

They just rescheduled the trip. He's going to miss the 20 week anatomy scan (the one appointment I told him was important to me for him to be there) and I l have a 40-min presentation AND a giant paper due. Was he upset about this when he broke the news to me? Nooooooo. It's all hunky-dory for him. (Turd.)

When he called my two year old was screaming for more oatmeal "Mooooore oat PLEEEEASE!" (He's not being neglected, he's just going through a growth spurt and knows there's a lag between asking for and receiving oatmeal. He still had egg in his mouth while yelling.) Then my cat got closed out of the room with the litterbox and peed into a basket of jackets while making eye contact with me.

I just got a notice that this was flagged as a possible sob story/panhandling. It is a sob story, but don't send money. Please instead send any captive, man-hating birds you have my way. All I want is for a misandrist toucan to crap on his head, and then I can feel better.

Im a stay at home mom of two (3 and 1). I have a friend who is also a sahm and has children my kids age but she’s currently in nursing school so she’s really busy. I went to her house the other day, and no shade no tea, but it was a mess. I didn’t say anything but I’d really like to help her out because yeah I have two kids too, but I have time to help. Would it be rude to bring it up? Or should I not say anything.

To add context: we are new friends. like we met earlier this year but feels like we’ve known each other longer. I want to help but not overstep.

I get anxious going to the supermarket with her that’s where her tantrums happen because she tries to play with everything and grab everything. I say no she does it anyway she hates to sit on the cart sometimes we’re lucky and we find a cart that has a kid car and she’ll go on that but eventually gets bored. When I do go with her I usually speed through the isles just to get what I need and end up carrying her half way just to make it quicker. I hate being that mom in the supermarket when my child is throwing a tantrum and she won’t listen to me she’ll sit on the floor and cry. Tbh I cry with her lol. It hasn’t been happening every time now I guesss it gets better ? But still. I still enjoy my alone time in the supermarket. I never knew I’d enjoy going up and down the isles when I get to go alone lol.

Hi! Mom of a 2 year old and 8 month old twins.

I’m losing sleep over anxiety with my MIL watching my kids. My MIL is very relaxed and can be distracted and forgetful. I don’t feel respected. She talks about me to my husband when I leave the room. He told me that she was saying I’m super hormonal. Other times I left the room and came back to an awkward silence like a conversation just ended bc I walked in. I’ve also walked in to her end a sentence “well if I brought steaks over she would have complained they weren’t pork chops”. Implying nothing she does is good enough for me.

Long story short she’s mad because I ask too much. My rules are don’t share food with my 2 year old, don’t kiss her on the lips, she needs to wear shoes outside, and don’t let her be around my FIL while he smokes.

She’s passive aggressive. I have major anxiety around hygiene with my kids. Don’t put your mouth on them. She kissed my 2 year old straight on her lips in front of me. She will walk barefoot while it’s raining with sweat pants that are too long and walk around my house leaving a wet trail. She will tell me that she can watch the kids so I can go buy some tennis shoes… I guess I need to work out.

1 day after my c section with the twins she bought me a double cheese pizza with laxatives.. and lied that the pizza place was having a special with double cheese. The pizza was disgusting. She thought I asked them to pick up pizza to bring to the hospital. It was actually my husband. She added a second pizza with pepperoni for him though…. Normal cheese.

She forgets my birthday even though I’ve been with her son for 7 years.

I’m tired of it. I work full time, breast pump full time, and my husband is on night shift so she’s been taking my two year old on Saturday to help me out.

Am I asking too much?

Single parent family here. I don’t always have the means to afford everything and this upcoming Halloween is hitting me hard in the feels. I want to be able to get him a $40 costume but that seems like a far away concept.

I am not asking for help or funding but asking how to deal with the embarrassment of it. Thanks

some background im a 28 year old mom to two girls. oldest girl is 2.5 years old, youngest is 8 months old.

I was never taught feminine self-care or grooming from my mother. She was never taught it by her mother so I don’t resent her for it. I was never taught anything about makeup, hair care, skin care, or dressing myself and I grew up obese, so I wasn’t taught how to eat a balanced diet either.

eventually I grew into myself, lost the weight, but I had to teach myself the basics and I was never as good at “being a girl” like my other friends were. I still don’t know how to curl my hair with a curling iron lol.

I obviously want to learn how to do my daughters hair and how to teach them both about self-care but I’m really looking at what habits I can pick up on the daily that can help me do this.

what are some self-care things that you guys are doing for your girls on a daily basis besides the obvious brushing their hair and their teeth and putting on fresh clothes for them?

I know that I can find a lot of tips on TikTok or something but I get overwhelmed by a lot of information at once and then do nothing at all because of it.

This started the night we transitioned to a transition swaddle after she rolled from belly to back.

Shes waking up and getting full feeds then going right back to sleep. Is this a growth spurt, swaddle or regression? I also don’t want to start any bad habits.

We also have the cradle wise crib. She was sleeping for 10+ hours since 4 weeks until about a week ago.

Her wake windows are between 1 hour and 1 hour 45 mins long. Her morning nap is the shortest at 45 mins and she will take 2-3 more naps at about 1.5-2 hours long.

I’m a new Mom so any advice would be helpful!

I have a 9.5 month old that slept well through the night.. until we hit a milestone or teeth.

We're cruising now, but I think separation anxiety has hit us like a freight train. Naps are fine but come bedtime, it's usually multiple failed crib transfers before he sleeps.

We initially went from 1 wake up that lasted 3 hours, to multiple long ones about an hour each, to 5 wakeups last night- none of which that lasted long but we are TIRED. All of this was in the course of the week. This sucks harder than the newborn days.

Does this sound like separation anxiety? How the heck did you guys survive it? Any tips and tricks? I'd settle for a pat on the back and some solidarity to know I'm not alone.

I’m a first-time mom to a 15 month old, and lately I’ve been struggling so much with staying home all day. I’m wondering if there are any other moms in the same situation because I honestly feel so alone in this.
My husband works Monday through Friday. He leaves around 7 a.m. and doesn’t get home until 6 p.m., so I’m home alone with my daughter pretty much all day until she goes to bed. We only have one car, which my husband takes to work. We can’t afford a second car right now, although he’s hoping to get one for me soon.
We used to share a car without any issues before we had a baby. My husband’s old job also allowed him to work from home twice a week, and on the other days, he would usually be home around 4 p.m. But since he changed jobs, our whole routine has changed, and I’m really struggling to adjust.
The other issue is that we live somewhere where there’s practically nothing within walking distance. I can go outside, but there’s nowhere to actually walk with my toddler for more than five minutes before I’m next to a highway. I don’t have family nearby, and I can’t just take her somewhere to get out of the house.
When she was younger, staying home wasn’t nearly as hard. At 2, 3, or even 5 months old, it felt easier to get through the day. She slept more, and entertaining her wasn’t as demanding. Now she’s 15 months old, has been on one nap a day since around 9 months, and is awake for such long stretches. I’m expected to fill those hours every single day, and I’m running out of ideas and energy.
I try to follow a Montessori-inspired approach at home. We read books, play with open-ended toys, and do activities together. We don’t really do screen time, either. I know there’s nothing wrong with using TV, and I’m not judging anyone who does. But I’ve put this pressure on myself to keep her entertained without it, and sometimes I feel like I’m making things harder for myself.
I feel like she’s getting bored at home, too. She spends so much time in the same environment, walking around and doing the same things every day. I feel terrible when I think about how repetitive her days must be, even though I know she’s still little.
And honestly, by the time my husband gets home, I’m exhausted. Once she finally goes to sleep, I have absolutely no energy left to do anything for myself. The whole day revolves around keeping her entertained, fed, and happy, and then I go to bed and do it all over again the next day. I feel like I’m losing myself a little.
I know I chose to stay home with my daughter, and I love being her mom. I’m not saying I regret it. But I also think there’s a huge difference between being a SAHM who can put her toddler in the car and go to the library, a park, story time, or even just run errands, and being a SAHM who is literally stuck at home all day with no transportation and nowhere to walk. Getting out of the house can break up the day so much, and I feel like I’m missing that option entirely.
I don’t want this to sound like I’m complaining about my life all the time, but this really is my reality right now, and it’s hard. Some days I feel overwhelmed, isolated, and honestly just sad.
Are there any other moms who are home alone with a toddler all day without a car or anywhere to walk? How do you get through the day? What do you do with your toddlers at home without feeling like you have to constantly entertain them? And if you’ve been in this situation, how did you cope with the isolation?
Even hearing from someone who understands would help. I would really appreciate any advice, ideas, or just knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I am 26, have two kiddos aged 4.5 and 2 years. We (my husband, kids and I) currently live at home with my dad to save $$, although we are still paying basically market rate bar a wee saving each week. I am the one doing the vast majority of the cleaning, nearly all of the cooking and all of the thinking. I do the weekly shop, I plan all the meals, I keep on top of the kids washing and the stuff that needs doing and I am well beyond maximum capacity. WHY is it all on me? I’m not saying they do nothing. Hubby is amazing with the kids, and he works an extra day (40 hours to my 32). He works from home and I work as a daycare teacher with my kids at my centre. My dad will often do dishes but that’s about it for contribution inside the house. I am so stretched out I just want to sob and sob. I’ve spoken to them before but nothing changes. My doctor said the stress in my body is literally killing me! How do you guys get your family to help? It’s like it’s an expectation that I do all these things despite the fact I work too. Or am I in the wrong? Should I just being grateful they do anything at all? I feel like I can’t go on shouldering all this. Any tips are appreciated. Thank you 💕

please hold your babies tighter, I know I did 💔

My daughter is 2 and she is beginning to notice Mommy's piercings (full disclosure: I am a pretty heavily pierced person - currently have 19, have had multiple more). She is at the age where she can notice that other people have jewelry in their ears, noses, etc. I'm a little worried that soon, she may start to express a desire to have earrings.

My question is - how did y'all handle the ear piercing thing? I know some people do them very early with the argument that it's "better" to pierce them early, but I dislike that on two grounds: 1.) I want my daughter to choose to alter her body - it should be her decision to do this, not mine; and 2.) I worry that if she's too young, she won't be able to do the proper aftercare/upkeep and could get them infected or something. I also feel kind of strongly that if she's getting it done, we will go to a professional piercer at the studio who uses a sterile needle technique - I've had some bad experiences with a piercing gun, so I'm very reluctant to let her do it that way.

Have any of you had to make the piercing decision or discuss it so far? What did you ultimately come away doing? Or how did your parents handle it - and are you happy with how it turned out? Thanks in advance for anything!

Just hoping someone can help me feel better

My son is 2 1/2 and his bedroom closet is still full of old baby items and clothes that I held on to in anticipation for #2

The separation should have happened way sooner. We were never really compatible and the harder we tried to just ignore it the more miserable we both ended up. We have very different core values and outlooks in life and so many other things that just made it really hard. There’s also a lot of resentment on both sides but I won’t get into that. I’m accepting what will probably be the start of a happier life for us both.

However, I’m breaking a little bit every time I open up my son’s closet and realize I no longer have need for those things. I’m feeling grief over the loss of what I hoped would be happening in the near future. Is there anyone that can relate? And help me feel better about this?

I have a 14-month-old and I’m feeling extremely overstimulated by motherhood. I lose my temper almost every day, and I feel like I really need a break and some time to be myself again.

The problem is that daycare would cost exactly half of my salary, so I’m wondering whether going back to work would actually be worth it financially and emotionally.

I’m also worried about sleep deprivation. My son sleeps terribly, still wakes up several times a night, and sometimes stays awake for hours in the middle of the night. I’m scared I won’t be able to function at a new job while being so exhausted. I would also have to start a completely new job, as I no longer have my previous one.

For those of you who went back to work while your child was still very young, did you feel better mentally, even though a large part of your salary went towards childcare? Did having a job and some time away from your child make motherhood more manageable, or did the exhaustion of working on top of everything make things harder?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially from those whose children were also poor sleepers.

I have said forever I will never drive a minivan. My husband has been trying to get me to want a minivan since we started having kids. We currently have 2 kids and we plan on having 1 or 2 more. We finally went and looked at a Toyota sienna today and I have to admit for the price and practicality of it, it is a great option but I am so not a minivan mom.

Practicality aside, convince me to get a minivan over a full size SUV.

Very tl;dr, my 8yo has been impossible this week and there’s been so much sass. After her outright refusing to go to school and throwing a fit for not helping me unload the groceries, I told her she isn’t allowed any screens for a week.

She is normally allowed to watch tv weekend mornings so we can sleep in a bit, and we often do movie night on weekend evenings.

Now my husband went to pick up pizza with the 4yo and all I can think is damn, I really wanna do a movie night 😅😅

Short of locking her in her room (jk I won’t do that.. or will I?), how do we handle this?

She’s currently a sobbing mess smearing her snot all over my livingroom carpet begging me to watch tv.