Like the title says...

My husband and I were having sex last night and our 6yo daughter walked in on us. We always wait until our daughters are sound asleep. Our youngest sometimes wakes up to use the bathroom and comes to our bedroom but usually it is more like 3-4am and we always hear her, but...not last night. Our bedroom door was closed but not locked. So she was standing at the door for a few seconds before I realized she was there.

The thing is (I apologize if this is too graphic) she saw us completely naked, full display, no one was covered, I was lying down on my belly and my husband was using the back door. I don't think she saw where his finger was but it must have been very confusing, the image, the sounds and whatnot.

I am a bit unsure of what to do. I was ready to say "Dad was giving mommy a massage " 🙈🤦 but She didn't ask anything, and she hasn't said anything this morning. Should I bring it up?

Any advice appreciated 🙏😊

My baby is 4. He just started TK 2 months ago. Today, right after I sent him off to school, I see that the high school is closed because a bullied teenage boy had a hit list of all the kids who had bullied him, including entire classes (and it included the roller hockey team my son just joined, although I assume he was referring to the high school age kids, not the littles, but still!). He was still at large at the time school started. We had messages assuring us that the elementary and middle schools were not at risk and had extra security, but still, I panicked! But I run a daycare and had 6 kids with me so I couldn’t go get him, so I tried to calm myself down and convince myself it was ok. Luckily less than an hour later we got a notice that he was in police custody.

How the hell am I supposed to do 12 years of this!!!? It’s so incredibly f-ed up! How do are kids allowed to be bullied so much that we get to this point. I’m in such a spiral now.

I swear this is the biggest problem in my marriage. My husband is a neat freak. He can not relax unless the house is museum level clean. This is a big source of stress for the both of us. He wants clean af house everyday and feels like it’s possible to do so. I can be messy. I understand why he gets annoyed. I get annoyed with myself.

The standard he holds me to seems down right unfair. I do 95% of childcare. I do all the nitty gritty daily grind stuff for my 3 year old. He is great at cleaning.. but only until the house is in shambles. I try to tell him that if you want clean house then you need to help me clean everyday. I have ADHD and I’m not trying to make excuses for myself but my brain is totally different than his. It’s extremely frustrating because when I do clean it feels like I am being micromanaged. The dishes weren’t put in right in the dishwasher… etc… this shit is driving me nuts.

My house is not filthy at all

I’ve read sooooo many posts (and communed with ladies in real life!) about how irritating they find their MILs once they have kids. What is the deal with this?! It’s been something I’ve been contemplating a lot lately. I wonder the psychology behind it? My MIL has never really been my cup of tea but since having a baby, my ability to tolerate her has plummeted. What’s everyone’s thoughts on this? Personal experiences? I’m so curious!

I had a bad father, awful to my mother who also had a bad father who was awful to my grandmother and so on and so on…

I’ve been with my partner for 12 years, he’s amazing. Every relationship before him was a DISASTER. About two years into our relationship I was just talking to my mammy one night and she started crying saying she’s so glad I’ve met him because all my previous partners were just like my father and she can see now that she married her father. That she was worried my brother would end up just like him as well.

Last night I was watching my partner with our children. I’m so relieved that my children have a good example of love & a father who they don’t have to basically grow up begging for love from. I’ve not thought too much about it before because well I think maybe when your in a good relationship you don’t worry about that stuff or maybe you block it out but my father had tried to reach out a few days ago & of course my childhood has sort of been running through my head the past few days.

Just feeling relieved I’ve broken the cycle & my children have a safe & happy home. I hope this is the generation of women who have the ability and courage to say no that’s not enough for me.

Hi! We just had our baby at 37+3, and she’s now 5 days old! She was 7 lbs 7 oz at birth and dropped to 7 lbs after we left the hospital. We’re exclusively formula feeding, and she’s taking about 1–1.5 oz every 2–3 hours. She’s also soooo sleepy—I’m pretty sure her total awake time is maybe 2 hours a day!

I’m used to our 41-week son who was a total tank, so this feels very different! Anyone else have a sleepy 37-weeker? Was this your experience with feeding and awake time? Even though I’ve been a mom before, I feel like I’m in uncharted territory! 🤍

I'm supposed to be having my baby in the first week of november. It's coming up quick. My mom asked (actually stated) that she wants to be in the room while i'm giving birth. I responded with, I think I just want my husband there and that's it. she ignored it. Fast forward to a few weeks later, today*she came over . And as she was leaving, she told my twelve year old son to call her when I went into labor because she knows that I won't, and I will be "too busy"and made him do a little deal with her about it. I am beyond irritated. Now, my son is in the middle of this.

What do I do? Do I firmly call / text her and reiterate that I just want my husband in there And not her? or do I just wait until I give birth And then call her? I am beyond stressed and angry .

Recently my husband and I went on a date night and we had a sitter watch the kids for four hours at night. We pay $30 an hour, so she made $120 plus $20 we slipped her for gas money. At the end of the night we came home and I saw dirty dinner plates on the kitchen counter, a dirty pot with extra dinner in it, and there were toys strewn in the TV room. It definitely wasn’t a huge mess by any means- I was able to clean up all of it in about three minutes after the sitter left. But I was shocked that she didn’t think it was important to clean that up before we arrived. I mean, it was a mess that was created while we were gone. And, there were two hours at the end of the night between putting the kids to bed and us arriving home from our date.

Tidying aside, she is a wonderful sitter and we will have her back anytime she is free. I’m just a little flabbergasted because I think back to how tidy I was when I babysat as a teenager and into my 20s. Heck, one time I cleaned a sink with soft scrub and the mom gushed about it for years afterwards 😂

Edit: some permanent info is that the sitter is around 30 years old and has a small child of her own (the child was not with her while babysitting.)

No one cares if your post partum. No one cares. I tell my mom and she says that’s hard. I tell my husband that I’m struggling, it’s a tough season of life. I wave the white flag. But no one’s coming to save me. It’s just me. In rotation with my husband. No one cares if you haven’t had a moment to yourself in days. No one cares.

People act like they do and maybe some do, but no one sees you in your deepest struggle maybe to understand. I worked all day, my husband works all night, our house is actually insane.

My 6 year old told me that kids make fun of her sometimes at school. My heart broke a little.
No one cares anymore. This world might be breaking me.

I am a stay at home mom to a 3 year old and 14 month old. My husband works away from home several months at a time, and then has some time off at home before going back out again.

I am just at a point where I am completely drained. Emotionally, physically and spiritually if I’m being honest. I’ve just lost my joy. I feel such a deep soul crushing pain in my heart and feel like I’m constantly responding to my three year old with anger in my heart. I don’t feel like I get to enjoy the sweet boy he is. As the sole parent here right now, I have to be everything to everyone 24/7 and it’s tearing me apart.

I’m in therapy, I reach out to friends, family doesn’t live close. I’m in church, I go to a mom’s group. I feel like I am so damaged and don’t know what to do.

I want my kids to feel the love I have for them. I worry about if they will hate me someday.

I don’t need a pat on the back, truly not what I want. I just need to know your story. Please.

FTM to 2 month old. I know the newborn phase is supposed to be super hard, but I thought it would get easier as she got older. However, i seem to have less and less available time every week!

Shes now sleeping pretty much through the night which is amazing, but during the day, now that shes awake longer, I dont have any time available to do anything other than care for her.

I basically only have time to eat, pump, and wash pump parts and bottles. She has oral ties so she doesnt eat a whole 3-4 oz at a time, usually more like 1 oz, which I know takes up more time but still. Despite being home all day, I seem to have no time anymore to do dishes, do laundry, vacuum, just basic things.

I just cant imagine having more time once she starts crawling and napping less. So is this just how it's going to be now? I can't do anything unless my husband is around?

A few things here. First, I work in education, so I get regular breaks when the students do, for the most part. Second, my daughter is 14 months old today. A coworker is returning from maternity leave today and I think that might also be a part of what’s triggering the feelings I’m having. I just woke up this morning and for the first time in two months (not a long time but it’s progress I swear), I’ve been crying on and off today about having to work and not being able to just be full-time mommy.

Never in my life had that been something I had considered at all, until I became a mom. Going back to work after maternity leave last year was the hardest thing I have ever, EVER had to do - and I work from home. Every single school break, the same cycle of emotions repeat, and every time it just gets harder. I don’t have even an ounce of the same passion I once did for my work. I’m just miserably dragging myself through every workday until I get to ditch the soul-sucking feeling of work and just be my baby’s mom again.

That's it.

I hate my life. I hate the way my husband treats me. I hate that I do everything for my kids and it's not even close to being over. I hate that I have chronic illnesses and autoimmune disorders that nobody understands. I hate being poor. I hate being mentally ill. I hate trialing mess.

Every day is getting harder and harder. My body is starting to react very poorly. I have lost so much weight and the thoughts of not wanting to be here ever again are so persistent they make me cry constantly. I can't even imagine waking up tomorrow to do it all again, packing lunches, getting screamed at all morning until drop off, crying on the way to work, working my ass off, rushing to get my extremely grumpy kids after school, doing an hour by myself while trying to figure out dinner. Bath, bed, no time for me. I usually just crash. I'm completely done. I WANT to be done. Fuck this all. I literally want nothing to do with life anymore.

And no, I'm not fucking panhandling or sobstorying. I just want to be done with this bullshit life.

Soooo I just had my 20 weeks scan today and was told baby has a choroid plexus cyst in her head butttt no other abnormalities so it’s nothing to worry about and completely benign. Has any other momma had this or experienced this before? How’s your baby now? Anything I should know or be concerned about?

My daughter is in third grade and is encountering her first experience with 'mean girl' nonsense. Essentially she and her classmate 'Emmy' are usually best friends (her words, I try to encourage a wide circle of friends). Every few weeks or so my kid comes home crying because Emmy has told her they aren't friends right now, is giving her silent treatment, or won't play with her at recess.

We've had all the talks: being friends doesn't mean you have to hangout all the time, good friends don't say mean things to each other, and thinking about what she can do when Emmy doesn't want to play with her.

Anything else I should be helping her with? Involve the teacher? The other girl's parents? It sucks watching this cycle continue.

I need to get my life and home organized. Working mom of 2 (infant and 3yo), with a well-meaning husband who wants to be involved with the home but struggles with knowing what to do.

I want to have systems set up where I know what chores we’re doing each day, when certain things are always getting done (eg meal planning on Mondays), when to focus on certain things, having weekly/monthly/seasonal tasks… just offloading what’s always running through my mind.

I see sooo many ideas on social media like a home binder and different apps, and of course all the mommy influencers selling their “home organization system” courses. I can’t lie, I’m very close to being influenced to pay $27 for a House Systems Course.

Does anyone have a realistic way you’ve set up systems in your home, or how you keep things organized? I downloaded an app (Trello) but have been too overwhelmed to figure it out. I purchased a home binder template from Etsy but also am feeling overwhelmed with setting that up. Any suggestions? advice? help lol

Hi! Title pretty much sums it up. My daughter is 19 months old and I absolutely love being home with her but there are days when I really miss working. I hadn’t been looking at jobs but when I logged into linkedin the other day I saw a message from a talent acquisition specialist for a local business who wanted to set up a meeting with me. I messaged him back telling about myself and that I wasn’t really looking for something but if the right job comes around I’d potentially be interested. He let me know he’d really like to set up a meeting to talk face to face.

I’m so conflicted because I honestly don’t feel ready to go back (this job would be completely in office 40+ hours a week) but I also know the job market is rough and the economy is not the best either. My relationship with my husband has also been a bit bumpy since I’ve been home, there have been more good weeks than bad but it has definitely added stress.

I’m looking for experiences from other moms who decided to go back earlier than expected and how you and your child/children handled it.

Edit to add: my specific career line is an all or nothing type field. It’s fast paced, requires some travel, and will require me to change the entire structure of my current life.

My son goes to bed independently at night but naps have always been a struggle. He naps at Mother’s Day out well and falls asleep on his own there but at home lately he will ONLY nap in the rocking chair with me holding him. I’m 37 weeks pregnant and it is beyond uncomfortable and not sustainable. If I put him in his crib, he just screams and cries, which he doesn’t do at all for bedtime. He also cries if I lay down with him. Rocking is the only thing that works and he won’t let me transfer him.

Any advice? He’s horribly behaved and so cranky when he doesn’t nap.

My husband lost his dad in high school, so he and his siblings have always helped his mom host holidays. Since we live a few hours away, we usually stay at her house the entire holiday weekend.
Last Thanksgiving, we spent it with his family because he thought it might be his grandparents’ last Thanksgiving in their home before they sold it and moved to their beach house. They still haven’t sold it.
My sister has hosted Thanksgiving the past few years, but she isn’t hosting this year. My mom invited us to my aunt’s, where my mom, sister, and her family will be. My aunt needs an answer soon because she orders a local turkey.
My dad passed away last September. He struggled with addiction, so we hadn’t seen him much, and our relationship was complicated. I was disappointed we didn’t spend Thanksgiving with my family last year, but I was really looking forward to spending it with them this year, especially with our baby.
My husband says he’d be willing to split Thanksgiving if my mom or sister were hosting, but because it’s at my aunt’s and requires an hour drive, he doesn’t want to do it with our newborn. He says he’s taking two days off before Thanksgiving, so we could fit in a day to see my family then and spend Thanksgiving with his family. He thinks that should be enough.
We usually split holidays based on who hosts. Easter was at my sister’s, his mom hosts Christmas Eve, and my mom hosts Christmas Day. His mom hosts late on Thanksgiving, so we could see my family during the day and his family afterward. Otherwise, we only see his family on the actual holiday.
I feel like my family is getting the short end of the stick. I understand his family traditions are important, especially given his history, but mine matter just as much. I want our baby to have traditions with my side, too.
My husband noticed I was upset and asked what was wrong. When I told him I was stressed about Thanksgiving, he told me not to be. My mom also said it’s not a hard decision. We’re either seeing them or his family, whichever is easier for the baby.
Am I being unreasonable for wanting to spend Thanksgiving Day with my family this year, especially after missing it with them last year? Is seeing my family on a different day enough, or should we make an effort to share the actual holiday?

My husband has large reactions to loud noises. We have a toddler, so they happen a lot.

My toddler accidentally knocks over something and my husband reacts with a loud curse. When I come in and ask him about it and offer to help, he gets even more pissy about it. It happens when my husband drops something, or when something breaks or when my toddler is crying (not cursing but just gets worked up about it when my toddler just needs to cry and feels his feelings). Also some random inconveniences can just wreck his mood and then wreck my mood too.

Frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling like I need to manage his feelings and our son's. I feel like it sets a bad example for our son (it's okay and normal to react this way at every small thing), the excuse (I can't help it I'm autistic).

Is anyone else dealing with anything similar and how do you manage it?

He has done some therapy over the past 10 years and did some last year. I am in therapy now and will probably talk to my therapist about it. I'm considering couples therapy too.

my 17 month old and I will be taking a short flight in a couple weeks and I will need a stroller at my destination. has anyone traveled with the uppababy vista? is it difficult to gate check?

we typically prefer to drive to places when we can, but this trip my husband will be away and I don’t feel comfortable driving 7+ hours with my toddler by myself. so we don’t plan to fly very much, so I don’t know if investing in a more travel friendly stroller makes sense.

if need be, I could borrow a stroller at my destination, but i also think having a stroller through the airport would be helpful. if you did NOT have a stroller for your VERY active and curious toddler in the airport… how did you handle this???

THANK YOU

Older child will be 3 years 8 months when baby is born. He's always liked to get out of his stroller and walk, and the stroller at this stage is more a portable storage locker than something he spends a lot of time sitting in. We have a Doona, a Chicco travel system, a Yoyo that lives in the car, and and a jogging stroller so I am really not dying to buy another stroller, but I can certainly see us needing a double in various situations.

I will not do a BuddyBoard; I'm nearly 6 feet tall and my husband is over 6 feet and I hate those things, I constantly smash my ankles on them or else end up walking with this weird shortened stride that hurts my back. But maybe one of those co-rider seats off to the side? Anyone used one?

Hello

I am 36 years old and live in Scotland. I had my son just over a year and a half ago. It was a forcep delivery. I did not breast feed. My period returned about 4 months after I had my son.

For the past year, I have been experiencing mid-cycle spotting/bleeding which varies in severity.

In April I went to my GP as I never had any issues with spotting pre-pregnancy so this is not usual for me. GP diagnosed BV and scheduled a smear test the following week which came back showing high risk HPV and mild dyskaryosis. A colposcopy was scheduled. The biopsy came back showing HPV only and no cell changes. I am scheduled for another smear test in a year. The Dr believes the HPV will clear and is not the cause of the bleeding.

I have also had private blood tests, pelvic exam and vaginal ultrasound - all of which came back clear and so an obvious cause for the bleeding cannot be found.

The conclusion is that the bleeding is hormonal and it is recommended that I take birth control to stop the bleeding.

I am wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience with irregular bleeding postpartum and if it went back to normal without birth control?

For various reasons I am keen not to use birth control.

TL;DR: I have no friends, no real support system, live in a resource desert (can’t move), and I’m done with the baby/toddler phases and have no idea what to do with my time now! Help!!

For some context: I (F27) got pregnant at 18 and I’ve been a SAHM since. That was our only choice at the time, and mostly still is, but now I have really adjusted and accepted this as my life (I was originally against the idea of being a mom, told I couldn’t by many drs, and was very driven with big career aspirations). My youngest is now 3, he will be 4 in late December. With that, he will be entering prek in the new year (if all goes accordingly). He will be gone 3 hours of the day which isn’t a ton I know, but I’ve never not had a child with me constantly.
I’m really STRUGGLING with the whole “what now” thing. The baby/toddler phase is officially over. Hubby has a vasectomy so unfortunately that chapter is completely closed. And I don’t know who I am now.
Some necessary background information: I grew up extremely sheltered and abused. I was “homeschooled” from 8th grade until I graduated, I wasn’t allowed friends, and never had much of a family. My now-husband was my mom’s best friend’s son (they’re not friends now) and we spent the first 4.5 years long distance with him coming to my area for holidays since they were from here. (We’ve been together since we were 15.) I am also the oldest sister, first granddaughter/niece/etc.
So when I had my kids I was alone. My family disappeared on me (including my siblings), my in-laws are involved but not (very complicated, we see them every week but I can’t get any help from them, and we are all close but they’re clear I’m not their family outside of my husband’s wife and my kids mom). Everyone lives close by now btw.
We also live in an area that is a resource desert so a lot of things that I swear everyone on social media acts as the norm aren’t for me. Also moving is not an option currently. We spent the entire year trying to sell our house and move and the catastrophic blow up that occurred at the end puts in a position where we can’t do that in any form: mentally, financially, practically, etc.

Now that the background information and context is given: My youngest will be going to PreK in the new year and then I will have 3 hours a day 5x/week for.. well exactly what?! I haven’t had the time, money, or opportunity for hobbies well most of my life tbh so I’m like 😶 about what to do now. Obviously clean my house but like that won’t take up 15 hours a week. And everyone else says “get a job” but that’s not actually an option so **WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOUR FREEDOM ONCE ALL YOUR KIDS WHERE IN SCHOOL?!**

My 15 month old is having his adenoids removed soon, and I am looking for a few toys that I can get him to bring to the hospital/have at home for recovery. I am planning on getting a few new things so they are fun and exciting for him. I’m hoping to find something that he can maybe sit on the couch and play with? Or be entertained by without too much activity involved so maybe he will actually sit still and rest lol. I was looking into LeapFrog but I’m not sure if it’s too advanced for him? And recommendations appreciated!