I am mid 30s, have been married for 10 years and I’m a mom of 2 kids ages 7 and 5. I followed what everyone guided me to do through my life. Go to college, get a job, do your best- the whole thing. My husband and I each work full time in respectable careers but I can’t shake this feeling that I am failing my children.

Obviously the state of the world is not great, everything is very expensive and things really just went to shit after Covid. We held off on buying a home in 2020 because I stopped working for about a year due to lack of childcare in my area. Everyone told us to wait for the market to settle and stupidly we listened to that advice.

I find myself In the same small 2 bedroom place 6 years later with no hope of buying. The homes in my area are around 530k-600k on average. We have managed to save nearly 70k over the course of this time but we just do not make enough to pay over a 4k mortgage on top of everything else. My kids are always invited to play dates and I can’t help but feel bad when I see their friends homes. Nearly everyone I know bought before COVID but it still feels like a gut punch. I feel so guilty that what was supposed to be a temporary place for us became a home for the last 8 years.

I just want my kids to be able to have space to run around and play like they deserve to. The trajectory of adulthood that used to exist ..college, job, home, kids doesn’t seem feasible anymore for the average family and it’s very upsetting.

This is not a pity party, I’m just so frustrated. I work overtime already as well as my spouse and it is still not enough..I’m just not sure how to buy a home in this market. Moving to a different area is not an option as his career is very location dependant.

My kids are 10, 6, 4, and 4m. Trying to purge excess clothes and it's so hard! That little outfit is what one of them wore to their kindergarten graduation. And that other one was what they wore on our first trip to the museum. That shirt with a dinosaur eating a hotdog they wore when we went to get ice cream. Some ice cream dripped on the dinosaur's mouth and they laughed so hard because the dinosaur was eating the ice cream too. Every outfit has a memory attached to it. It can be so draining to detach one from the other. I just keep reminding myself that the stuff is not the memory. And I get to keep the memories even if the things are gone.

My son will be 19 in December. We did the best we could with him. We weren't perfect but we really did do what's best for him. Some context.

He's always been lazy. Mom and I always on his ass about chores, work, grades, etc. this kid...could never talk to him without him getting angry and lashing out.

Well, he had a kid, moved out after graduation and is still a lazy ass. Girlfriend/baby mama finally after three years confided in us. He's doing the same stuff on his own. Sleeping in. Not helping with chores. All the little stuff we nagged him about. She would come over and see me helping mom with the dishes, cooking, etc, even after 12 hour days at work when Mom works only 3-4. Because that's a man's job. To support his wife. She even asked where the disconnect was since she saw me always supporting. I was pissed. I didn't say anything to him at the time but I've stressed to him the importance of taking care of your family, be a man. He's out with his friends till 2 am and I called him out on it. Men don't leave their family at home while they're hanging out with friends. Not when they've been a turd to that point.

I messed up somewhere. And I'm man enough to admit I need advice. That kid acts like a victim every single time we call him our on his bull crap.

Today it turned into him disrespecting his mamma and calling us emotional bad parents.

We're we wrong being on his butt about handling the small stuff? Granted, he had a lot of responsibilities but nothing outside what we thought was ordinary. The kid is not talking to us and my wife is afraid I pushed him away enough where we won't get our time with our grand daughter.

Anyone else have this issue? Seriously need to know if I'm out of line. He's not talking to me anymore. I admit. We were not perfect. He's our oldest and we learned and made mistakes. We had our times but we've never done anything that didn't have their best interest in mind.

Thanks for listening to the rant.

I have a 4 month old baby, and I work from 9 to 5. Thankfully, my parents take care of him while I’m at work, and I’m grateful that they love him so much. But lately, I’ve been struggling with something that’s really hurting me emotionally.

My baby smiles at them, laughs with them, and seems so happy and full of life when he’s around them. But when I finally get to take him home, he mostly just sleeps through the afternoon and night, waking up only to eat. He doesn’t smile as much with me, and he cries a lot, too.

I recently returned to work after maternity leave, and I already feel like I’ve missed some of my baby’s milestones. That alone makes me feel terrible, because I wish I could be there for every little moment of his life.

What makes it even harder is that when I go to my parents’ house to pick him up, they sometimes watch to see how he reacts to me. If he doesn’t smile or laugh, they laugh about it and tell me how much he smiles with my dad or my sisters. I know they love him, and they probably don’t realize how much their comments hurt me, but it makes me feel like I’m competing with my own family for my baby’s affection.

Sometimes, I feel like I’m just taking care of a baby who doesn’t even feel like mine. I love my son more than anything, and I feel horrible even admitting that I feel this way, but it’s heartbreaking to spend all day away from him and then feel like I’m not the person who makes him happiest.

I don’t want to feel jealous of my own family, and I don’t want to feel like I have to compete for my baby’s love. I just want to feel connected to my son. I want to feel like his mom, not like someone who only gets the tired, crying version of him while everyone else gets to enjoy his smiles and laughter.

I feel so sad, guilty, and left out, and I don’t know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this? How can I build a stronger bond with my baby when I work full-time and feel like I’m missing so much of his life?

I have two elementary school aged kids and it seems our house seems to be the hang out house for other kids 7-10 who are aimlessly biking around the neighborhood. We generally keep it outside but lately kids, who I have never met their parents, have wanted to come into our house to play. Would you all allow this without knowing their parents? I don’t want to discourage being the hang out house because it means my own kids are being supervised by me.

My daughter is in 10th grade, she had a falling out with her friend last school year. They are no longer friends, but the ex friend of my daughter has made it a mission to try to get the whole school to hate my daughter. This ex friend is going up to people my daughter doesn’t even know and saying things about my daughter.

My daughter has kept her mouth closed and removed herself from her previous friend group. She was absolutely devastated last year but she made new friends and is happy with her life. She has not talked to her old friends since the falling out but they continue to stir up drama. Apparently they have a whole list of reason they hate my daughter and now they are getting random people to come up to my daughter and say stuff to her. Other people have come up to my daughter telling her all these awful things these girls say about her.

Since this is high school I haven’t wanted to go to the school, but it’s now been 7 months and my daughter has not said anything back to these girls but they will not drop it. At what point do I need to reach out to a counselor? I just don’t want my going to the school to give these girls more ammunition

School mornings are bad. Not wretched, but I yell and feel the rage every single day and I am over it. We aren't even to the preteen years when I expected it. My son is 1st grade, still wakes up at 630/7 on the weekends. But. School days.

Alarm at 6:15, we need to leave at 7:30 (that's the official party line. There is wiggle room until 7:38 honestly, but he doesnt know that.) I have done all the things, all the tips & tricks & hacks. The problem is that most of those tips are for ME to be better prepared. Babes, I am good, I dont need it! I wake up earlier, prep what I can the night before, etc. All is streamlined. I have the time, that part is not a struggle. I do everything that is reasonable and possible for me to do, we can literally sit & wait for him to be ready.

The struggle is 2 places: the 7 year old takes 25-30 minutes to get up, put clothes on, pee, and walk down the stairs. Then 30-35 minutes to eat a bagel and an egg. He will spend 6 of those 30 minutes of breakfast just buttering the bagel. Butter it for him? Tears! A whole thing! At this point we are HUSTLING because he has to brush teeth, put on shoes, and walk out the door. Socks- obsess with the toe, pull every little thread. 3-5 minute for socks alone.

We have tried a timer- he either obsesses over watching it, which slows everything down more, or changes the time left. I have streamlined: he has 4 tasks. Dress, eat, teeth, shoes. He has 1:15-1:30 to get ready. Bedtime is 8:30. Doesnt need to sleep in his clothes- the actual dressing part is 1 minute. Breakfast in the car? Ride to school is 3 minutes. And he barely eats lunch so I have to send him with actual food in stomach or he is a mess.

Getting out of bed, washing his hands, prepping the bagel, adjusting socks. Things like this. These are the places we lose time and I just cant make them faster without yelling or nagging. They are not tasks that I can (or should) take over for a 7yo to expedite them. I'm not putting his socks on for him, for ex. And I am not adding more tasks to MY morning. I am asking the bare minimum of him I feel. Also, I have another, younger child, who also has needs that she cannot meet on her own, so I need to help her.

I think partly that my child is slow. Like, he just moves in a slower way than other people & kids, but I dont know if this is true. We have these issues at other times of the day, but the morning is the most high pressure time. So I am not sure if I have a morning problem or a parenting a slow child problem.

Any advice?

we have a 4.5yo. she is challenging everything and throwing tantrums worse than any other year. she’s also starting to hit a bit, say she doesn’t love us; the main struggle is she is a master staller and negotiator, everything is in her terms and she’s very clever. She is dragging dinner out 2+ hours and then the same with bed. She went from in bed at 7:30 to 10-11pm. grandparents and wife say we need to start being tougher and yelling back at her to put her in her place. I grew up with parents that yelled and I believe it made me terrified of confrontation and possibly antisocial.

Thank you so much to everyone in this community who offered advice!

Based on your suggestions, I bought a visual timer. This morning, my daughter and I set a deadline together: everything had to be done by 7:15 AM.

She decided for herself how much time each task would take—3 minutes for brushing her teeth, 5 minutes for getting dressed, and so on—and set the timer herself.

The result? She got ready so quickly, independently, and responsibly! No constant nagging, no arguing, and a much more peaceful morning.

I’m so grateful for your advice. Yesterday, I felt frustrated and didn’t know how to handle our morning struggles.

Today reminded me that sometimes, what our kids need isn’t more pressure or punishment, but the right tools to help them succeed.

Thank you for helping us start our morning on a better note! ❤️

Just wondering if anyone has any advice for me. My daughter started reception this September, she is 4.

She seems to really enjoy school, she usually runs all the way there, etc. She also seems to have made friends with several of the boys, which I love for her, she always sounds happy when she talks about them.

But this last week or so, whenever I have tried to ask her how school was, she shuts me down with “I don’t want to talk right now”. Of course, I immediately back off, but I wish she would answer. It doesn’t seem to matter if I ask straight after school or wait until later, though I always try to do it alongside something else so it doesn’t feel like an interrogation.

I try to make my questions interesting and relevant to her - I ask if she did anything interesting, if she liked her lunch, if she played with her friends.

I’m going to try to speak with her teacher this afternoon on pick-up to see if she’s ok at school and if anything has changed, but does anyone have any advice?

How rude is it to ask if you can bring a younger sibling to a child’s birthday party?

My son was invited to a friend’s party at their neighborhood community center (I think it’s a park with a pavilion) and really wants to go, but my husband will be out of town, so I’ll have my younger child with me. I could get a sitter, but honestly money is tight and I’d rather avoid the expense if possible.

I’d never ask if it were at a venue that charged per child, but I’m hesitant to ask since I don’t want the host to feel obligated to say yes. I don’t know the parents at all, but I do know that my son likes to play with this child at daycare and they are friends.

Would you be super annoyed if another parent asked, or am I overthinking it?

These are little kids - 2 and 4

My son is 31 and like to comment as to how traumatic his upbringing was. The parents did a lot of yelling aT each other over the years but has been much better since he went to college. I know that he only has his experiences and doesn’t know how anyone else had it but it definitely could have been worse.

Just curious as to how other parents may be feeling about this issue or something close to it.

I keep hearing people constantly bring up nap schedules. I have a 4 month old without a nap schedule. I’ve tried figuring out when he typically naps to start one, but it’s not working very well. He’s up for 2-3hrs in the morning, then naps until 4-5pm staying up until bedtime (7:30) only waking up to eat. The past 2 days he’s decided naps aren’t for him and then finally falls asleep around 6 and misses his bed time routine. Throughout the night he typically wakes up 4-6 times to eat. He only eats 2oz at night before he falls asleep again. When he wakes up from his naps, he eats 4-6oz and goes right back to sleep. A nap schedule would help me so much but I can’t figure out how to start one without him being grumpy, and I feel bad making him stay awake after a bottle when he wants to go back to sleep. FTM. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Hii moms! FTM here, and I'm not sure how to choose a bassinet for my little one. I hope the bassinet can help my baby transition from co-sleeping to sleeping in the bassinet. I look at many reviews of brands such as Halo, Graco, and Grownsy. It is driving me up a wall.

What do you do when you have a child who is too big to physically wrangle (4 years old) and is refusing to go to their room or sit in a chair for a time out?

I don’t want to debate time outs themselves. To each their own on that. However I would love to hear other disciple actions that won’t require me to physically pick him up or wrangle him bc I really can’t do that anymore. He’s too big and I’m a very small woman. Obviously I understand this is situational and we do take things away when that is appropriate so I am speaking solely for times when he needs to be removed.

I have 3 boys (8, 6, 3) My husband (36M) and I(35F) are casual gamers and I grew up playing video games with my sister and brother. We have passed on this love to our boys which has been really fun. They love Minecraft, Lego Star Wars, Zelda and Fortnite. But I would really love some educational video games. Does anyone know of anything fun that will also help them learn?

When reading books at bedtime tonight my 4 1/2 year old son asked “when are you going to die?” Not exactly sure what to say, largely because I don’t want to lie to him and say never, I told him “not for a really long time”. I’m sure his grasp on death is tenuous at best, but he does bring it up more and more. Like he saw a picture of his great grandmother and he knew it was her and said ”but she died”.
I’m curious how others navigate talking about death at this age? How would you have answered that question?

Parents of boys entering puberty… what deodorant are we using?

My 11-year-old is at the age where he's getting a little musty. Between school, sports, and just being an 11-year-old boy, I’m looking for a deodorant that can actually do its job.

What are your boys using? Dove Men+Care? Carpe? Something else? Are we doing regular deodorant or antiperspirant?

I’m looking for something effective, safe for his age, and preferably a fresh, clean scent that doesn't smell like he bathed in his dad’s cologne.

Help a mom out before puberty takes us all down.

I’m returning to work in 2 weeks and my husband is adamant that his father (my FIL) take care of our son, who is currently 10weeks old. FIL is coming by a few times over the next few weeks to learn what to do but I don’t feel comfortable with him watching over my son while at work based on what I’m seeing.

For background: husband’s family is from a country where it’s expected that the grandparents will take care of the baby while parents work, but husband grew up in the US. The thing is that my FIL is 72 and retired, hard of hearing, and doesn’t speak any English, so I’m unable to tell him what to do without my husband, who also barely speaks his fathers native tongue.
Husband wants FIL to take care of our child because FIL is the one who raised him and his sister…over 30 years ago… I’ve been trying to show FIL what to do but at this point, I don’t even feel like trying cause it’s just going to be a shit show imo and make me go all momma bear on him. It also doesn’t help that when he doesn’t do what we tell him, my husband gets frustrated and his tone gets harsh when speaking to his father. I don’t want my child to be in the middle of that and learn to speak harshly (I know he’s young right now but still).

I’ve spoken a few times to my husband about wanting a nanny but he’s keeps telling me his father just needs to learn. I don’t think I can wait and hope for the best.

Any advice/experience on whether or not it’s a good idea to have FIL take care of my child while I’m at work? I’m trying not to freak out right now…

Hello, all! We’re planning a trip with our baby next August, when she’ll be 13 months old, and packing light is a huge priority for us.

Right now, we have the Evenflo Shyft DualRide, which combines a car seat and stroller into one. It’s been incredibly convenient for traveling because we don’t have to bring two separate bulky items. However, I’m not sure it’ll still be a practical option when she’s 13 months old.

For those who have traveled with toddlers, what are your recommendations for keeping travel gear to a minimum? Are there any good alternatives that allow us to avoid packing a separate car seat AND stroller?

And if bringing both is unavoidable, how on earth are solo parents managing?! I was able to travel solo with my infant thanks to the versatility of the Evenflo Shyft DualRide, but I honestly can’t imagine juggling my baby, luggage, a separate car seat, AND a stroller.

Our biggest goal is to travel as light as possible without sacrificing safety or convenience. I’d love to hear what has worked for you, especially from parents who have traveled solo with a toddler.

Thanks in advance for your advice and recommendations!

Hi all!
My son is about 21 months and has been in daycare since August. Lately, he has been talking (as well as a toddler can lol) a lotttt about another child he’s in class with. We couldn’t for sure tell what he was saying at first, but his teacher did confirm he does have a buddy there by that name. She said they play together a lot and enjoy each others company. Would it be weird if I left my contact information with the teachers to give to the other students teacher, if they’d be interested in maybe setting up a playdate or something? My boy doesn’t have a ton of friends his age (some family friends a little older, and a couple of my friends’ kids, but still not quite the same age), and he obviously really like playing with this boy. Would that be a weird thing?

Edit: Thanks for all the comments encouraging me to leave the note! When I picked him up today I did leave a note:) I think the other boy had already gone home for the day, so hopefully they’ll get the note tomorrow!

Our 16 month old has started to have the wiggles at all times, including meal times. As long as she stays seated, it’s no problem, but the issue comes when she stands up and becomes a falling hazard. Husband and I are trying to figure out the best course of action in terms of teaching her that we must sit while eating.

Currently we tell her in a calm but firm tone that we sit while we’re at the table, we don’t stand, and gently physically push her back to seated. After a couple of rounds of this, our first idea has been that if she won’t sit, she isn’t invited to eat with us, and we take her out of her seat and plonk her down on the floor. Sometimes she’s upset, sometimes she couldn’t care less.

What we’re a bit at a loss for us what to do next. Do we put her back in her seat and rinse/repeat the entire cycle? Let her go off and play while we eat and assume the meal for her is finished? She’s also in the toddler stage of us desperately trying to get nutrients in her body, so I think we have a bit of fear of under-feeding her if she doesn’t come back to the table. We don’t want her to go to bed hungry.

Any advice would be great! Thank you.

Good morning,

I’m having a bit of a time with my 15m old (turns 15m tomorrow) and I’m not entirely sure how to handle it.

Whenever he gets extremely upset / frustrated / angry, he’s begun hitting me, pulling my hair, etc. I know developmentally this is normal, I try to respond gently ‘no, we don’t hit.’ And holding his hands, but he just squirms his hands out and will either then try to grab my face and dig his nails in, or continue to try to hit. When I set him on the ground as a response, he gets more frustrated and angry and will try to head butt the floor or throw himself backward.

He doesn’t do this behavior with my husband at ALL, I don’t get it. My husband has taken him from me when he’s hitting and tell him ‘No, we don’t hit mama.’ And he will still whine but he doesn’t try to hit him at all. Last time he just fussed and whined and looked at me from my husbands arms. If I get too close to try to talk to him during an episode like this he still reaches / swats at my face.

Why does he only do this to me? What else can I try to make it stop? Anything? This happens if he’s over tired mostly, but also if he’s just frustrated in general.

I’m looking for some new hobby ideas for my almost 10-year-old son! I’d love to find some things he can get into outside of just video games and screen time.
I’m open to pretty much anything! Indoor or outdoor hobbies, creative stuff, sports, collecting things, building things, learning new skills, etc. Bonus points if it’s something we can do together as a family, but I’m also looking for things he can enjoy independently.
I’d especially love to hear about hobbies your kids genuinely enjoy and stick with, not just things they tried once and forgot about a week later 😂
What are your 10-year-olds into these days? What hobbies have been a hit in your house? I’d love to hear all your ideas!