My son told me that his friend (9) told him he brought a gun to school. He didn’t see it, and he told me it so casually, but it wasn’t something i wanted to take lightly.

now I’m worried I did the wrong thing. We are very good friends with this child’s parents. Our boys are best friends. I thought that by telling the school, and not calling the parents directly, I would be handling it in a way that would decrease the chances of social fall out for my son. My husband is furious that I called the school instead of the boys’ parents. And now I’m so scared I made the wrong choice.

My son was playing with his number blocks, throwing random maths questions at me, and one was, what's 11 + 7? I said 18. 11 has a 10 and a 1, remove the 1 and add it to the 7, which gives you 8, then add the 8 back to the 10.. gives you 18. He stared into space for a few seconds and shouts, mom you're a genius!! You're like Albert Einstein Haha the way your children make you feel like the smartest person in the world 😂😂

kiddo turns 4 next week. At preschool she has been making “maps” to runaway with a friend in the middle of the night and go to the ocean to find a treasure. But its a secret when. We talked about secrets and surprises. Now Elsa is the only grown up allowed. Other kid is Elsa obsessed so the story checks out. We have never watched Frozen so this is definitely a preschool/playground thing. My question is: is this normal? I am both amused and find it scary (turned on the front door alarm overnight). I mean she is watched all the time. We know the other kid and her parents. Super nice. We love the school. But really.. isnt 4 a bit too early to plot running away? It’s so elaborate too with maps. Do we need to investigate further?

ETA: you guys are awesome and definitely relieved this paranoid mama and gave me lots of ideas to lean into this fun. I also probably need to watch Elsa 😅

Any parents out there using a Tin Can or a a Tin Can alternative? I like the idea but don’t know if it’s worth it or not.

I have a 5 year old boy. He has been more attached to me since around the time he was 1.5 years old. My wife isn't very touchy or expressive with her emotions, but she loves my son a lot. In fact, she likes to show her love (even to me) by irritating him, teasing him etc. I'm the opposite. I like to hug, give him kisses etc. As he grew up, he turned out to be a little expressive as well. He'd randomly hug his friends etc.

The issue now is, he gets irritated and angry at his mom now. And I tell him she is just having fun with him. But he ends up saying "I don't love you mom" and then comes and hugs me. It breaks my heart to see this, and for some reason, it ends up as my wife being angry at me. It has happened a number of times now and I'm wondering how do I fix it.

On a side note, I saw my father in law being the same with him, and I realized that that's probably the way my wife grew up and picked up the habit from him. Any advises for a happy family life guys?

Edit:

You guys are so awesome 😅 great advises guys. Thanks a ton.

Have to talk to her about this. I'm not very good at confronting, but I feel like I have to. :)

I'd like to add, my wife basically does everything for him. Like his food, school work and stuff. So it's not like she's not caring for him or anything. It's just this one thing, but yes, I need to talk about it to her 😇

My partner and I moved to my hometown in Canada to take care of my father (he was ill, now passed away) and to have kids. We currently have an 8 month old and are planning on having another. 3 members of close family are within a 10 minute drive and have been so helpful with last minute babysitting, bringing food, and cleaning. Daycare is also WAY cheaper in Canada.

However…my partner hates it here 😅 It’s very cold, career opportunities are limited and he misses being in the US. Our plan is to move to San Francisco when the kids are out of daycare, say 5 years+. While he grew up there and has tons of friends in the area, his family/parents are not in the country very often and not as helpful as mine are.

My question to parents of older kids: how much do you need family help? Is it as essential as the early years, or can you get by without it?

Everyone told us “they forget the binky in a couple days!” “Go cold turkey they’ll be fine just give it a few days!”

Every single day has been worse than the last. We are on day 6 of no pacifier for my 20 month old and it’s to the point now she cries when we walk in her room.

We used to be able to lay her down awake after like 3 books, 10 min of cuddles, say goodnight and leave the room. She’d happily lay there and put herself to sleep. Now? She screams BLOODY MURDER if we try to lay her down. She koalas onto us, screams in her crib, and refuses to calm down.
She has a stuffy she’s used for sleep for almost a year. She couldn’t care less about it. She only wants us now. And I understand bringing comfort to my child. Happy to do so. But she won’t sleep if we are holding her. She just stays awake crying or just tries to play with us instead of settling. So of course the only option is to then lay her down and she acts like it’s the biggest treason of her life and I just. I wish I never gave her a binky now lol I don’t know what to do. All naps are my duty (naps are even worse than bedtime) and bedtime my husband and I alternate.
But the screaming. My poor girl. I let her cry today for like 5 min bc I was so overwhelmed and she just screamed. It sounded like her throat hurt.
And she needs to nap! She’s still so little. She is so tired by nap time.
Idk what to do. I’m just venting and hoping someone can tell me it truly does get better 😭

I’m solo parenting now. And every time I have my kids I absolutely love them to death but I feel like I’m a pin drop from a mental breakdown. They’re 3 and 6, and it’s so hard. Is this normal? Am I the problem???

Also I’m taking them camping tomorrow so please pray for me

Hello fellow parents,

I’m in need of some advice for how to handle bedtime demands that end in screaming tantrums for my four year old daughter.

Since 2.5 years old we’ve really struggled with her sleep. Lots of screaming/crying at night and we’re at the point now where we have to stay in her room until she falls asleep and then she will always wake up sometime in the night and we let her come in our bed. Had to do this to survive 😅

Her new thing at the moment is to keep demanding things at bedtime, mainly more water and to be tucked in. This last week it’s really escalated. I try to tell her ‘this is your last drink’ or ‘this is your last tuck in so don’t get up’ etc. but she will scream and cry for what feels like forever if I don’t fulfill her request. I figure she is trying to get control? But it’s so hard to stay calm when your child is just yelling and screaming in your face for you to get her water that in literally 30cm away. Honestly my neighbours just think we’re torturing her. She just does not stop.

I know the usual advice would be ‘just stick with what you’ve said and don’t give in’ however she will scream for 30+ minutes and by then I am destroyed. 😢 would appreciate any advice or tips.

Thank you!!

First time poster, but in need of serious some help for my 12 year old son and creating limits for screen + playing the switch time.

The context is that over the past 18 months there has been a steady decline interest in anything other than gaming. He mainly plays Fortnite with friends online - chatting via messenger while playing. He does not have a phone, or any other gaming device but when not on his switch will often end up on youtube/ kids. Also not ideal. How can I turn this situation around?

We as parents have been too lenient (we have 2 other children, one is a toddler) being distracted by other things and working full time. I’m annoyed at myself that I now find myself and my son in this situation so please be kind as I’m fully aware I have enabled this situation that I now need to reverse.

He can’t regulate his time when asked, regularly gets frustrated when asked to have a break/ when we take it off him. He has very few other genuine interests - doesn’t like reading (although we enforce it during the week) has heaps of Lego, Gravitrax, board games etc but doesn’t engage in these. He plays a sport on the weekend with one training session per week. He isnt curious, motivated and has no spark and I’m really worried. If he had a choice - he would want to wake up, go on the switch and stay there all day. Or come home from school and go on the switch. He will find the quickest way to complete something with minimal effort, in order to get back on the switch. Our rules are generally no switch after dinner during the week, no switch before school until chores complete. Otherwise, we have no other ’hard’ rules but will break up gaming time.

I would appreciate any help with how any parents out there may have created interventions with a situation like this to limit screen time. I know I can’t change this situation over night, but I need to start somewhere and I’m feeling really overwhelmed. Thanks in advance for your insights 🙏🏻

My LO is 14 months old and I’m feeling extremely overstimulated by motherhood. I lose my temper almost every day, and I feel like I really need a break and some time to be myself again.

The problem is that daycare would cost exactly half of my salary, so I’m wondering whether going back to work would actually be worth it financially and emotionally.

I’m also worried about sleep deprivation. My son sleeps terribly, still wakes up several times a night, and sometimes stays awake for hours in the middle of the night. I’m scared I won’t be able to function at a new job while being so exhausted. I would also have to start a completely new job, as I no longer have my previous one.

For those of you who went back to work while your child was still very young, did you feel better mentally, even though a large part of your salary went towards childcare? Did having a job and some time away from your child make motherhood more manageable, or did the exhaustion of working on top of everything make things harder?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, especially from those whose children were also poor sleepers.

Hi,

I'm seeing a drastic shift in social connections my child has made in this age range compared to when she was 5. Suddenly, any time I take her to a kids play space or park, a new girl approaches to ask to play, and they play nicely for the whole time we are at that place. She's now 8, and even little boys approach her to play.

I was wondering if this is the typical age range (6-8) where kids approach other kids to play with at the park, or anywhere there are kids? This is my only child so I'm quite amazed at these little girls approaching each other to play, and don't want to go home.

This post discusses a mass shooting and child deaths

Hi fellow parents,

For those of you in the USA, how do you cope with hearing about random acts of violence against children like what happened yesterday? I know that statistically school shootings are rare, even in the USA. I also know I can't hide my child from the world in an attempt to keep him safe. But after something like this happens it is so, so hard to send him off to school the next day. Have any of you found any ways to make it better?

I am going to try my best to keep this as concise as possible, however it will be difficult given the amount of context required to properly explain what is going on. To those of you who read this (even if you do not provide feedback) I appreciate it greatly!

*Update to the following story since quite a few people mentioned this. Jordyn has lost all privileges as a result of this behavior. No phone, no TV, no makeup vanity, no needohs, NOTHING. And I don’t simply “allow” her to stay home. What parent would do that? I’ve gone as far as contacting my friend who is a local police officer to have him swing by and inflict a sense of urgency and fear so she knows that going to school isn’t an option. As a parent, I’ve done everything and pulled every card to ensure that she’s as uncomfortable as possible when home. I don’t want her home. She belongs in school. Truancy is a crime and I take it very seriously. I even enforce chores and work sanctions when she’s home. The problem is, Jordyn’s mother caves. And I try explaining to her how imperative it is that we stand our ground. My thought is that since she doesn’t see Jordyn as often, she wants her acceptance and as such gives in despite Jordyn’s poor behavior.

First and foremost, my daughter’s mother and I split our time with our daughter, Jordyn. Jordyn spends roughly 85% of her time with me (including school hours) and the other 15% with her mother. In spring of 2025, I relocated from north Jersey to south Jersey. Given the fact that Jordyn had only a few short months left at the school she was enrolled in at the time, I decided it would be best to let her stay with her mother and finish off her 4th grade studies. Fast forward to autumn of 25’, I enrolled her in a private school near me for 5th grade. Initially, she loved it. However as the year progressed, she became resentful of one of the teachers. She also had issues with the religious elements of the school (being a catholic school) and the dress code requirements. She eventually refused to go altogether. Every day was an uphill battle to get her out of bed and to school. At one point, I had to call for a meeting with the principal and guidance counselor in effort to identify the issues she was having and discuss potential solutions. I personally told her that, given her lack of experience with religion, that I did not expect any sort of miracles grade wise and that I’d be happy with her mere effort. After her continued refusal to attend school and frequent truancy, it was decided between the principal and I that we would end her year abruptly. She essentially had two weeks left at this point in time. All in all, Jordyn missed roughly 30 days of school. Throughout the school year, Jordyn constantly referenced her desire to attend public school instead. She’d say “if you put me in public school, I’ll go every day. I hate private school”. Obviously it was too late at that point, so I had to wait until THIS school year (6th grade) to enroll her in public school. Mind you, she also gave us a hard time about school when she was in public school back in north Jersey (beginning her 3rd grade year). 4th grade I believe she missed 17 days.

One other important thing to mention is this. Jordyn has an older brother (her mother’s son of whom was raised by Jordyn’s grandparents as her mother was 16 when she had him). He went through a difficult stretch during school when he was maybe 9 years old. Apparently he was being bullied. He also, as such, refused to go. But instead of trying to resolve the situation, he was given in to and was homeschooled (which was what he wanted). Jordyn is very aware of this, and she constantly leverages her brother and asks why “he’s homeschooled and I’m not”.

So, a couple months ago, Jordyn began 6th grade at public school. Up until last week, she was doing decent. A couple of absences that were unnecessary, but nothing compared to previous years and nothing that raised any red flags. On Tuesday of this past week, I asked Jordyn to get her homework done. A light switch flipped and she suddenly said “I don’t want to go to school and I’m not doing this anymore”. She refuses to go. She refused to go the entire week. I involved the school (guidance counselors/principal), but ultimately this falls back on me. Jordyn’s mother also relies on me to make most of these decisions. I have used positive reinforcement the entire year when she has done well and sent her little texts saying how “proud I am”
Of her when she attended without giving me a hard time. Jordyn claims that she has too much homework and she despises her language arts teacher. She has said multiple times that she’d go back if I could remove her from her language arts class or switch professors, but she’ll shortly after rescind that request and say “actually, I’m not going back”. She has asked to attend boarding school or requests to be homeschooled.I do not want to involve anyone that I do not have to (trust me, I have though about having a police officer come by to inflict the fear of god and help her realize how serious truancy is). But after further thought, I want to try to avoid creating more stressors for Jordyn and attempt to handle this in a way which we can all “win”. Jordyn is not receptive to positive reinforcement it seems, and she also has developed this attitude of “not caring” and blatant disrespect. I am honestly at a loss here and don’t even know what to do.

If you made it this far in the post, I owe you my gratitude! Has anyone else been through something like this with one of their kids? Alternatively, any professionals in the sub that can provide a bit of guidance? Thanks again for your time!

My wife recently lost her job and we had to move our boy to a new childcare setting that is more local to us.

We have kept in contact with the parents of one of his friends and have had many play dates.

All of a sudden, the mother has started ghosting my wife without giving any explanation. My wife isn’t upset by the prospect of losing her “friend”

But we are now in a position where our 4 year old cannot see his last friend anymore. How do we explain to him that he won’t be able to play with him anymore?

He will make new friends at his new setting that he recently joined this week, but he keeps asking after his best friend and recently cried because he misses him.

Any advice would be appreciated, as my heart is breaking over this

My daughter has just turned 4 and since she has been able to articulate her needs our interactions have always gone something along the lines of:

Her: I want [something].

Us: How do you ask nicely for [something]?

Her: Please can I have [something]?

For some reason it's ramped right up in the last couple of weeks when I would expect it to be reducing. When do they just start going straight to asking nicely? It literally cuts the time in half and she receives what she wants sooner. We always make sure we model asking nicely for things in front of her too. Do I need to switch things up a bit? Do I start ignoring all together until she just asks nicely? It's not the biggest deal but depending on everyone's mood it can get quite boring 🫠

Nothing important, but I haven't stopped laughing in days.

I started playing some music from the Rocky movies to my daughter when "Gonna Fly Now" came on. Halfway through, she exclaimed, "I've gotta poop," so she went into the bathroom.

She then called out that she wanted me to put the Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom so she could listen to the rest of the song. Of course I obliged. lol

My husband and I have a 3 year old and have begun talking about having another one, however with how the economy is and the uncertainty, we wonder how that would take a toll on our plan. We are comfortable and have savings and a home but we are in our early 30's. (We moved from our home state to be able to have a home and savings, we couldnt survive in our home state.) I remember so little of how the recession was in 2008 here in the states and wonder how those who were considering expanding their family during that time felt. Advice?

My son turns 6 at the end of December and started kindergarten this September. I'm looking for some reassurance from parents of older kids who were really reluctant readers in the beginning but eventually became confident readers.

The thing that confuses me is that he has always loved books. Since he was a baby, reading has been one of his favourite activities. He can finish the lines in many books after only hearing them a few times, loves being read to, spends time every day looking through books, asking questions about pictures, pretending to read, and generally engaging with stories. He will pore over books for hours. He knows most of his letter sounds in isolation and can read some simple word-family words.

For context, I'm an elementary teacher and my mom is a reading clinician, so I feel like he has been exposed to literacy-rich experiences his whole life.

The problem is that he seems almost offended by the suggestion that he try to read. If I casually ask him to sound out a word, he immediately shuts down. He won't even attempt it. When he does try, it's as though all the letter-sound knowledge disappears and he has no word recognition whatsoever.

We've recently started introducing some BOB Books, but I've been deliberately holding back from doing any kind of formal reading program at home. I know he'll be getting reading instruction at school, and I don't want to overwhelm him or accidentally make reading feel like work, punishment, or a source of pressure.

Logically, I know he's still on the young side. We actually deferred him a year as the Kindergarten cut-off is December 31st and he's born the 30th. He definitely was not ready socially or emotionally last year.

I'm finding myself stressed because I care a lot about early literacy and I'm used to seeing reading development through my teacher lens.

Did anyone else have a child who loved books but was very reluctant to actually read them? What did that look like at 5-6 years old, and when did things eventually click? I'd especially love to hear from parents of older kids who are now successful readers but were late bloomers or stubborn beginners.

Please talk me off the ledge.

My twins are 18 and I'd say they had a very happy childhood and an easy time at school etc. Just nice good kids, polite and kind. Self expressive and emotional, not buttoned-up. Just decent I guess you'd say.

They always told me things they were worried about, or sad about. I tried not to judge and to be constructive in my advice.

But lately they've been keeping pretty big secrets. Eg one was visiting another city to visit her bf. She missed her bus home so had to take a train which cost her a lot more and so her bf suggested she get an under 18 ticket and she was challenged by the collector and fined. She paid it all herself at the time. Then I turned up at the coach station to collect her and she was at the adjacent train station and made up some story about wanting to stand there as it seemed safer. A complex situation to lie about/omit the truth if. If she'd called, I would have straight away paid for the train ticket. Yes I'd have been a bit annoyed at her carelessly missing her bus, but it would not have been some big drama.

Then I hear they've both tried vaping.

Then one is texting her bf till 2am and late for school next day

And then i hear one got detention at school and didn't tell me. ...

Small things adding up. I don't mind not knowing about these relatively minor things. But I am upset and worried that it means they won't ask if something bad happens and i could really help. Since when did the risk of upsetting or worrying me become so key to them? Ive consistently said Im on their side. We joke that if they murdered someone my first question would be "why, what did they do to you?"

Im so disappointed and feel like my 18 years of genuinely good parenting has been for nothing.

I have 3 children, one adult and 2 smaller (under 7 both of them)

The adult lives at home, pays no rent, doesnt help out at all with any household chores.

I'm due nr 4 next year. I already share a room/bed with the 2 youngest, cause said adult is using the other bedroom in the home.

Gaming all night, sleeping all day.

Today I felt i hit a wall and just- i need my own space. I need my youngest to have their own space. I need my bedroom to be mine.

What can I do?

Adult child has no job and is not actively searching. I've brought up several times that I think for their sake they need to move out, get their own home, take care of themselves. Nothing happens.

My husband and I became friends with three other families through our kid. There are only four minority boys in the same grade, including my son, and they are all 4–5 years old. They have been going to the same daycare.
We used to be part of the group. The four families did things together regularly and we were invited to activities and gatherings.
Looking back, I can identify one point when things changed. Two of the families were celebrating their children’s birthdays around the due date of a pregnancy I had lost in the second trimester. I was having a very hard time emotionally and declined the invitation. In hindsight, I wish I had just let my son go with his dad even if I couldn’t handle going myself.
After that, the invitations became noticeably less frequent almost immediately. Now I repeatedly find out that the other three families are doing things together without us. They plan outings, sign their kids up for activities together, go to events together, and make weekend plans together.
I also often find out when I try to ask one family for a playdate, only to learn that they are already unavailable because the three families have plans together.
My husband has been making an effort to keep our son connected. He’ll hang out with them after school, join them if he runs into them at the cafeteria at dinner, and join whatever outing they are doing afterward. I have a much harder time doing that myself because I feel uncomfortable inviting ourselves along when we weren’t actually invited.
So it isn’t complete exclusion, but the pattern is clear: the other three families have become a tight group, and we are the family that gets included less often.
That is what bothers me most. I can deal with not being included myself, but I don’t like the possibility that my son is getting fewer invitations because I don’t fit in as well with the parents.
I have tried to maintain the relationships. I’ve invited them to things we enjoy as a family, including movies, shows, and museums, but they generally don’t come.
When I try harder to fit in, I usually leave feeling like they didn’t really enjoy having me there. There may also be a cultural difference. I immigrated young and grew up here, and although I speak our native language, I rarely use it socially as an adult, so I probably come across more blunt or awkward than I do in English.
The other families live closer to each other and closer to the school, while we live farther away, and there are no kids in our neighborhood. Their kids will all be going to the same elementary school, and we will be sending our son there too even though we are not zoned for it.
I do know other families and we get invited to things, but their kids are usually either a grade older or younger, so we naturally see them less often.
We also have the option to move to a more family-oriented neighborhood with kids nearby and start fresh. But I worry the same pattern could repeat somewhere else because I’m just not naturally a group person.
What would you do in this situation?

Okay let me start by saying that those of you who have low sleep needs kids, don’t hate me and maybe scroll past lol. My 13 month old sleeps what feels like more than normal to me but he’s my first so idk what “normal” is. He goes down around 7-7:30 most nights and sleeps 12-13 hours. He wakes up between 7-7:30am and often we wake him up at 7:30. He is still very much on 2 naps. He struggles to make it to 10am for his first nap most mornings and sleeps 1.5-2 hours. He then sleeps 1-1.25 hours for his second nap around 2:30-3:30ish. So we’re talking around 15 hours of sleep per day.

Now, I am in ZERO way complaining about this, I am extremely grateful lol. My child (although I love him dearly with my whole heart and soul) is miserable to be around most of the time. He is one of the whiniest/fussiest babies you would ever meet so his sleep is one of the only things we’ve got going for us.

He does act/seem tired a lot of the time leading up to his naps/bedtime. I’m talking like the entire hour before. I had brought it up with the ped at his 12 month appt but she didn’t seem concerned. I guess I just see most babies drop a nap around this time and have less night sleep and I don’t see him dropping any naps anytime soon.

I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone else had a similar experience with their kid, I’m just starting to wonder if the high sleep and tiredness correlates with his fussiness and meltdowns.

Kid, 7, wants an art station for his room. I'm lost on what type of furniture to get to accomplish this. Googling for art station brings up toddler stuff, which I think he's past. Not an easel because he does a lot of stuff on the table like beads.

Do I get a desk/table that can eventually be used as a study area/computer desk? He also still rough on furniture so I'm debating getting something on the less expensive side with the expectation it will be replaced in 5 years.

Would a preteen/teen even still want furniture they had at 7?

Are there kid sized tables/art spaces that are bigger than toddler sizes?

What does your kid use that they/you like?

Hello. I need some advice. I have a 14 year old daughter, she is a single child. She has always been wonderful, she does argue with me from time to time but we have always been able to work it out.

Recently, her best friend was dealing with some mental health problems and she told my daughter that their arguments were a part of it so she told her she had to cut her off. They have been friends since sixth grade and this really broke my daughter's heart. Neither one of them really have any other friends. So I asked my daughter who she usually talks to during the school day and she says that nobody really. She has some kids in each class she is acquaintances with but no real friends. And during lunch time she eats lunch quickly and then hangs out in the bathroom.

She is also in band, and because she has been struggling with Geometry she was ineligible to participate in marching band for now. So she sits for about three hours each day as other kids practice. I do think there are other children that are not eligible. Anyway, with the pressure of passing her classes and losing her friends, I feel so terrible for her right now. She says that she doesn't really mind being by herself but it just breaks my soul for her.

Does anybody have any advice or any words of encouragement that I could give her? Anybody ever been thru this?