My wife and I came down with whatever violent cold is going around, sneezing, coughing, miserable. We got over it, but just couldn't shake the cough. After a few days, I was talking to a friend about it, and he mentioned getting an over-the-counter thing that really helped, so I bought a couple of boxes online. When they were delivered, my wife saw what they were and immediately got upset.

"You know I just got cold medicine a few days ago! You could have just asked where it was, and now we've got boxes and boxes of the stuff, and we'll have to store it, and it'll just be sitting around for years, and....."

When she finally wound down, I said, "You're right, I shouldn't have gotten it. I should have known you'd get upset. It even warned me."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, it says here on the box: 'Expect a rant.'"

He invented CrossFit!

Charged with disturbing the peas.

Grocery store joke.

Gerry hat-trick

It's called Datcord.

Trial sized

It's going to be called starchy and husk.

Until I told him to take it out

Twin Diesel

Next week they are going to renew their vowels...

I'm enjoying some Tacos, 4 hard boiled eggs and a BIG bowl of chili.

Veg-eta

His plane disneyland

It all started when ... aaaaAAAAAAHHHHH!

But I never met herbivore

A white plume area.

Just buy them holesale.

...but I'm having Nunavut.

I appreciate you

Muskow

You look a bit flushed.

The golf ball doesn’t yell when you hit it from behind

I told him 2 White guys liked pioneer. 3 Asain guys liked Samsung and 6 Black guys liked Sony. My dad, full therapist mode, puts his had on my shoulder and says, “Son those are just stereo types”.

A reggaeton!