Or have you experienced both phases after your transition?

I have vaginoplasty scheduled for march, but it has me wondering. given that my girl is a relatively nice and well sized specimen, should i get one of those clone-a-willy kits or similar?

that way i can finally listen to those people who tell me to go fuck myself :-p

anyhow does anyone here have experience with these things?

So I was doing some research into bottom surgery cause bottom dysphoria go brrr. I got an estimate of bottom surgery to be anywhere between $20,000 and $60,000 and I just wanna know HOW?! Like are you all secretly super fucking rich?

Today at work I found out I could add my pronouns to my profile card and just as I was about to save my pronouns, I had a thought train about she/they pronouns. Now, I know that I'm a woman and not non-binary as I feel very, very at home in being a woman, however, I also feel OK if people would refer to me as they/them. And I also think gender is bullshit and needs to be tossed aside for prosperity.

However, I'm stuck in a thought process. I know I'm a woman through and thorough. If people see she/her, they know I'm a woman. But if people see they/them, we tend to assume non-binary. So if I use she/they, wouldn't people assume I'm not entirely comfortable as a woman? I'm likely projecting here, but also just thinking out loud.

By using she/they I'd like to tell the world I'm a woman, but I also support gender non-conformity and being outside the socially constructed gender binary. What are your thoughts about this?

I'm a professional musician. If you've never left and re-entered a room where a band of mostly men has been rehearsing for hours, do yourself a favor and never put yourself in a spot to experience it.

The smell. It's bad. It's so bad.

A few days ago I posted here about being 7 years on HRT and still boymoding at work every day. I expected maybe a handful of replies. I did not expect #1 on the sub and 48k views, and climbing.
I read every single comment. The drilling rigs, the welding shops, the teachers, the bar staff, all of us living the double life. And one commenter, a fellow diesel mechanic who came out at her shop three weeks ago, I've thought about her every day since. Most people were pretty cool about it, she said.
I'm not out at work yet, nothing's changed there. But something shifted anyway: I don't feel like the only one anymore. Thank you for that, all of you. 💜

i'm looking for pieces of medias that are about being trans and happy. The ones about angst and doing it scared and being afraid and staying strong in the face of oppression are nice and all... But you know. i'm looking for fictions which are not about being angry, scared or brave. For my own sanity. especially since the real world blasting us about how we're not allowed to be anything but scared and mad.

"As the president and CEO of The Women’s Foundation of Colorado and a parent of kids who played sports, I urge you to join me in voting no on Propositions 134 and 135 by November 3rd. At first glance, these measures might seem like rational ways to protect Colorado’s girls and women. In reality, they are efforts to further define who is a woman or girl and control our private healthcare decisions. They are divisive distractions meant to avert our focus from the issues truly impacting women, girls, and families in our state."

Full article archived: https://archive.li/8WtXV

I'm 15 and I know I'm a girl at heart but I'm not sure I should transition. My family is super transphobic and I'm pretty sure they'd just disown me if they ever found out. I'm also just full of testosterone because I hit puberty at 10 and had chest hair by 13. I also don't know if I could walk around when it starts to be obvious that I'm transitioning because my area is super transphobic too and I really don't think I could handle it. I'm also just flat broke and can't afford estrogen or hormone blockers. I know this might come off rude or as internalized transphobia but I really don't know what to do and I'm scared that it'll ruin my life so it's even worse than it is now, I just wanna know if even right now it sucks to start if it'll be better at some point and worth it to have transitioned. Also I just feel like I need to find a way to start now or just never do it, I don't know why but I just feel like there's a timer clicking down until I can't transition anymore

I understand when people online (especially trans elders) recommend not buying it, so I will lay that out first.
It’s cheap and poor quality
It can be extremely clocky both because of its infamy and its shape at points
To many people it’s just not attractive (this is what I think is behind a lot of the hate)

I understand all of these points. I think there is however a major disconnect from what it is actually useful for and I think that a lot of the discourse is just sort of judgemental for judgements sake.
The first steps in a transition are extremely hard on people for numerous reasons. One large issue is that depending on how you were pre transition you may have no experience with women’s fashion at all. They might not even really know sizing or how to wear skirts. The Amazon skirt is a cheap skirt that you importantly do not have to go out and buy that you can use to understand what you want from a skirt. If you like it (unlikely), then use it. If you don’t like it, you now know what you don’t like.

Finally some critiques on the people hating on this skirt:

Sometimes things that don’t work for you, still help you find what does work for you. If you think somebody else can take what you learned and apply it directly to their life then you are wrong. They have to figure out what works for them, and what better way to do that than by buying a cheap skirt just to see what it feels and looks like. It’s called a transition, you can’t skip the transition part.

This is only a sidenote cause I am aware this is a minor criticism all things considered. But the “baby trans” stuff. I’ve participated in it before but I do think there is something off about it. People have the right to be embarrassed about how they were early in their transition, but let’s be careful to choose our words. If there is any core argument that I want this post to convey, it’s that sometimes when you criticise things for being stereotypical, it just increases anxiety and indecision of what they can do. If you don’t offer them any way to experiment, that will just leave people to afraid to commit to anything.

TL;DR: be careful when criticising things that you find “stereotypical baby trans” cause that will possibly just mean they won’t try anything at all or they put off their social transition.

I am not a trans women but I am a butch and the rise of transphobia genuinely makes me uncomfortable especially is lesbian subs mainly propagated through genitalia preferences and how some lesbian women dogpile on trans women equating a trans persons wanting to be seen in a lesbian relationship to their male ego(obvious transphobia)... like wtf are you one girl and some of them saying that bi women could be in lesbian spaces but trans women can't even tho a bi women is attracted to both genders and a trans women is a women who is attracted to women.... Just say your transphobic so I don't have to interact with you.. like how can you attack another minority group when you know how it feels to be one and this started with some lesbians defending that weird ass misha petrov transracial video just which just makes me so upset..

The game has only been out for a few weeks and I just stumbled on it. You play as dressmaker (shocking ik) who is tasked with designing dresses for various customers, all with different needs/preferences.

But you can ignore these requests and create your own custom dresses to sell, and progress the story that way. You are granted a huge amount of freedom in the design. There are a TON of fabrics and accessories, and you are completely free to embellish the dress however you want. As well as choose from a variety of skirts/bodices/sleeves etc. The sky is the limit if you're creative enough.

Hopefully this doesn't read like an ad, and isn't against the rules. But as someone who still lives at home and is not out, this game has been a nice outlet for me. And I thought it might be able to do the same for others.

Today I decided to dress up a little since I was going to a friends place after running some errands so I dressed in a sweater, black jean shorts and tights, way more femme then I normally go for. (While running errands I was in pants, switched to the tights and shorts later) Normally I wear pants, a tank top or tight exercise shirt.

I’m chatty, so I ended up talking with the people at the different stores. While running my errands I think only one person used a he related pronoun for me, and their coworker gave them an odd look and continued with ‘she’. This level of misgendering is way way less than usual. Id say normally it’s like 70-30, the 70 being male pronouns. I also ended up getting complimented on my outfit by a bunch of my friends I already knew at my friend’s party, complimenting my sweater or my outfit, like they hadn’t realize I could look that feminine if I tried it. I had even had someone ask last week if I needed help styling to be more femme, which kinda spurred me to try this.

I have been told in the past my look and how I dress makes even allies confused on whether I’m mtf or ftm, since my body leans androgynous a bit and my tomboyish outfits don’t help. I even had some acquaintances I kinda knew apparently having a bet on which I was at one point because they ‘knew I was something’

I mean one person said I always have such nice outfits, but it felt so different today to actually be looked at like a woman the majority of the time. It kinda annoys me that the clothes I had found most comfortable end up with me being misgendered more often, but I also feel like I’m realizing I had limited my wardrobe because I felt like I hadn’t earned it yet. I had to wear simpler outfits because I’d look off in anything more femme. These short ass jean shorts I wore today are the same ones I bought a week after deciding to transition, and back then they barely fit on my body and looked extremely awkward and yet today they were just a natural part of my outfit. It feels like I kinda took another step on my journey today.

The title is the question

Do some transwomen cut the suspensory ligament of their penises for easier tucking and to avoid front projected erections?

So I (24F) live with my partner (31NB)

They have been exhausted from the days taking care of me and I was quite guilty for making them suffer.

And I cleaned the table and washed the plates, spoons and chopsticks while they lay on bed :) On POD7 :)

So euphoric!!! Like... Okay I can only walk at 50% speed and with a weird gesture but at least I can do some simple house chores myself!!!

I feel so fucking awful in my body, I hate all of my masculine features. My body was destroyed by testosterone and I'll never get over it. I'll never feel comfortable living. I can't look at myself, I want to get rid of this body.

I've been lurking this community for awhile and just finally decided to make a reddit account, reading other peoples experiences. I'm a few weeks post-op and I've noticed a slight odor coming from the area? It's almost like an unwashed belly button?? I just really hope it goes away and isn't like that forever. I'm kind of disappointed and having regrets.

If this is the wrong tag let me know, I dont know what to call this.

As the title says, I had a doctors appointment today and I used that opportunity to tell my doctor all that has been going on in my head since my egg broke in July. He was mostly quiet and listened to me ramble a bit about how I always felt feminine and how the last few months made me realize I dont like being a man and the steps I was taking to feel more like a woman. He didn’t judge or dismiss my concerns, just commented how stressful this must be for me, which it has been. I said I wanted to talk to a therapist about this and he agreed wholeheartedly, got me a recommendation, and told me to expect a call.

While he was writing the recommendation tho, he called me a transgender woman as a reason for the therapy recommendation. Hearing those words spoken out-loud for the first time felt like a flash bang going off. I just stopped talking and shut down, to the point he hesitated and asked if he should change the reason for recommendation. I said no, transgender woman is fine and was told to make an appointment for 6 months out for medication check-in, which was the reason for the visit. Made the appointment, then speed walked to my car and just broke down crying.

Ive only talked about this whole experience over text, with the one time I was asked my pronouns in-person I got the same feeling. I cant tell if thats a good or bad reaction but I keep repeating the words he said and it feels like the whole world now knows what I’m doing.

—and she’s officially Lily!

So let me explain. Since I've started HRT my feelings for my special person (calling her that bc there's technically nothing yet) have been growing. I haven't been able to contain them as much, which means I've been increasingly close to her. We started hugging, I've been very open about how I feel about her and she's received it all in stride. Tonight we were hanging out with friends and both of our autistic asses were physically glued to each other for hours, I was leaning my weight into her completely. We both struggle with touch, the fact that we were this close together for that long is saying something. I would have never done this before HRT, I was way too locked up emotionally, but tonight I just felt myself drawn to her like a magnet. Feeling her lean back into me when I cautiously looked for contact was the best feeling ever. I love her so much, I know how much she struggles with the whole love thing and physical touch so to see and feel her doing that, it just makes me very proud of her for doing it despite all her fears and everything.

Next week we already had a thing planned. We're gonna visit a Christmas diorama and exposition nearby (big store in the area always decorates very beautifully). Us two going there was already kind of a date, but with how things have been going lately I'll suggest to treat her to a movie and dinner after to make it a 100% date if she is willing to take that step.

Probably has to be one of the most unexpected effects of HRT! It's actively pulling me across the Rubicon of love.

I'm 21 years old. I'm a trans woman. I made many posts about this when it first happened. When I first started hormones my mother tried to pursue guardianship. She might try again. I left her house in my state for another state. Went back because my roommate fucked me over. Then later moved back to the state I left my home state for. I have been in a shelter and trying to get on my feet. I have been tight in money and even had to ask her for money and use her card (I am an authorized user). She is using this and saying "you have cognitive deficits." "You don't have the money to live out there." "No one in Washington is hiring you because they see you are a transplant flunk from New York."

She said she could challenge the status of me being my own payee and could challenge me for guardianship. I keep trying to call her or text her but she won't because she is at work. She sent this text while she was at work. She refused to even pick up my calls. Been leaving me on read. She just broke this to me in the family group chat. I lost. I might have to head back to New York. The only reason I couldn't wait have a job to move out is because of how hard the modern job market is. I didn't want to be waiting for God knows how long to be able to even just have a job. Then wait some more while I build up money. So I left. I went to Washington State with the help of friends. I am at a shelter working with my case manager and everything. I really could couldn't wait.

I only left because she had so many restrictions on my transition. No entering and leaving dressed as a woman. If I want to be a woman outside I can. I just have to leave presenting as a man. Then change to women's clothing. Then change back to presenting as a man before I head back so I can enter. No growing my hair out. No going to certain places dressed as a woman because she is known there. No wearing women's clothes anywhere in the house other than my bedroom with the door closed. No presenting as a woman at family gatherings as well as when out with her. And anytime I would argue back including just raise my voice or curse at her. She would almost always try to call the police. She even once hit me and then when I threw my hands up as a reflex she immediately aggressively tried to bait me into hitting back. Punching my cheeks. Baiting me to take a shot and to play into her hand. "Play into my hand." Standing right on top of me. Just daring me. I had to lock myself in the bathroom.

What the fuck do I do?!

I feel like I have no choice but to head back to New York. I lost. I'm defeated.

Edit: I am fighting this. I am not taking this lying down.

Posting on my main because I don’t give a shit and I’m positive the guy won’t find it here. Either way I feel like I'm going kind of insane here and I need some advice.

I’ve known this guy (23) for well over 10 years and we’ve always just been normal friends. But since I started transitioning three months ago (23), I noticed that his behavior toward me has gotten noticeably different and I’m trying to figure out whether I’m reading too much into it. I feel like he might be attracted to me and has no idea how to go about it, but I'm worried I may be a bit too self-absorbed or I'm just making shit up. At the same time... I think something's definitely changed between us? I've spoken to some friends and they agree, but I'm just not sure what it is.

First thing’s first, he’s started making jokes/comments about my body that he never used to make. He’s joked about me having “A cups,” asked when I’d start needing tampons (hopefully he wasn’t serious because that’s not how that works), and once jokingly offered to give me a handjob after I said I’d rather get a normal handjob from my partner than use one of those ridiculous expensive milking tables (we were talking about stupid porn tropes lol). We talk about sexual stuff openly in our friend group, but it’s never been on THIS level of comments or jokes about each other. I told him after the handjob comment that he REALLY has to chill half-jokingly. I’ve had tons of friends give me comments like that and I don’t even have an issue with it- it’s just coming from HIM is insane. He’s NEVER done this sort of thing to anyone in our friend group before! Also, at the same time we hung out, I noticed he was also staring at me at certain points. I was wearing a bralette/crop-top under an unzipped hoodie and I kept noticing him looking down at my chest/stomach. Like dude hahahahahha he was doing a HORRIBLE job hiding that.

What makes it even more insane is that this is like, the only ways he has acknowledged my transition. He didn’t even really congratulate me when I came out and told the group about it. This is the extent of his acknowledgement, just these weird jokes and stares! I found that VERY odd in and of itself, but I chalked it up to maybe him not knowing how big a deal it is for me?

Another thing related to my appearance… when I posted a picture after getting my septum pierced, instead of just saying I looked good or that the piercing suited me, he said something like “wow, I barely recognize you lol. Just kidding” Like, this was odd to me, because before I transitioned he WOULD give me normal fucking compliments like “You look good!”. But now he just seems to be avoiding sincerity for some reason. My other friends were super excited for me and he’s just here skirting around it lol. He’d never used to act like this…

It’s not even that I’m creeped out by all this? It’s just the fact that he hasn’t acted this way towards ANYONE before in our friend group- no sexual jokey comments, no skirting to give compliments. What makes it stranger is that we have another trans woman in our friend group who has been transitioned for a LONG time… and talking to her about this, according to her, he has never made these kinds of comments toward her or acted like this towards her at all. She also thinks my suspicions might be right.

At the same time, he’s also gotten more distant since we last hung out in person with all the jokes and staring. He talks to me less in our group chat and doesn’t acknowledge what I’m up to when I talk 90% of the time, and has been weird about answering when we ask if he wants to hang out with us. He won’t even necessarily say no, like, he just ignores the question while still being active elsewhere which is really weird because he never used to do that. I feel like I may be making him feel uncomfortable or something one way or another?? He’s generally very accepting of trans people, so I don’t really think this is just him being weird about me being trans.

Does this sound like he might be attracted to me and confused/awkward about it, or am I connecting things that aren’t necessarily related? Am I going crazy here? I feel like we used to be just normal friends but something has gotten in between us here… Mostly I just wish that if he DOES find me attractive, he would act NORMAL about it…. I would much rather hear “you look cute” or “you look pretty” than get weird body jokes and distance from someone I’ve been friends with for over a decade. Again, it’s not even like I’m uncomfortable, I just think it’s odd coming from him! Hopefully I don't sound too insane- advice would be appreciated as well if I can even do anything about this or I sound way over my head...