so, I've been fronting for... god knows how long now, and I am in fact an alter in a plural system, it's just that, while others are fronting, I can feel that I'm still there with them, just co-fronting, and I want to just stop and take a rest, but I feel like I can't do that because the house we live in is so shitty towards even the thought of us being trans, much more so the thought of us being multiple people in one body.

I just... despite all if that, I want to be able to let go and just, enjoy headspace for a bit, all the other alters seem to do so.

edit: I feel like I need to because I'm just... so fucking exhausted, nearly all the time. I'm not sure if it's depression, dysphoria or being at the front too long, but I feel like stepping away wouldn't hurt.

I couldn't end this day with showing you my, uh.. Sona? OC? Well, they are both! OC since Noah have his own backstory and others, and Sona since they are based by us, well, me the host actually, and also since my representation of me irl is a alter that emerged after Noah did go though messy things things, making him have me as the alter who fronts when things get rough and he wants to rest.

A bit confusing, I know, but since the story is very important to us, why not making that?

Any case, just hope my messy explanation can help you a bit, because it's very messy to explain in detail because I don't know that too lol.

Soo... ima keep this fairly simple. Not long ago I was exposed to plurality because my partner told me that they realized they were a system. My reaction? Kinda freaked out bc didn't know what it was and I panicked (which wasn't the best idea and to this day I feel so bad...). But I've been looking/researching about it a bit more and realized. Wait. This sounds familiar? Don't know how or why but something about it is pulling strings in my brain and I need help figuring out why. Like how is it that at first I was absolutely scared but now after carefully looking through it, i'm curious and intrigued by it?

Me personally, i've been someone who has struggled with various amounts of trauma and am not diagnosed with anything (bc i can't afford a psychiatrist) but I know I have a lot going on with me. Then my partner is autistic with social anxiety (both diagnosed) and possibly a bit of ADHD as well (that i'm not sure).

The concept of plurality is definitely a bit new to me but somewhere on the inside it sounds familiar and I can't help but think that something is pulling me towards it now? I don't want to seem like I'm copying my partner's behavior though and I'm scared they'll judge me for this. Any advice + help on what's going on with my thoughts??????

(i have posted here before btw, so reaching back out for some help!)

(Ignore that I already made posts here)

Hi, our name (or well, mine as the host) is Daemon, but you can call me Dae! We are a messy system that is trying to heal and cope with our own disorder and the fact we have it, all while my two lovers who are alters too are also here to make it better like I do with them. I may post things here like rants, meme, or anything else related to our system, can't promise to do it all day since we have a life outside, but I hope I can make enough so you can know us a bit better here!

That's all we wanted to tell, thank your for listening our yapping, and know you're cherished and valid no matter what! :D

okay, so context. ive made a few headspaes, they are daydream based, but recently, ive been able to kinda. look inside myself and feel myself in some sort of fronting seat? and i can get out of it but its hard, i cant explore it very well because i dont know how.

I’m not sure what to callthis place?

also does anyone have any tips for how to explore it?

I definitely believe they are, because there is nothing to gain from intentionally lying about something like that, especially when it is this widespread, but my friend, who is a psychology student, insists it is impossible to experience dissociative splits without trauma, and also insists that it is impossible to have any plural experience without dissociative splits. So yes, what is the proof/research? I would love to share it with them to see what they say!!

Thanks in advance!! :)

(For the record, me and this friend are both systems)

Hello! We are a collection of around 14-15 headmates. we had our syscovery by making a Tulpa or two, which then made our brain think: "Yeah, let's reveal the rest of them!"

So we currently do not know our offical origin. We know that creating headmates is possible. We spend a healthy amount of time in system spaces, primarily reddit. We try to avoid Tiktok.

Why?

Everyone on that app cannot fathom a plurality outside of CDD's, or people who don't know their origin, or even undiagnosed people!

Theyre incredibly hostile, closeminded, and toxic, despite trying to say they "don't fakeclaim".

they're constantly putting other systems down, telling them what is and isn't going on inside their brain.

its an incredibly harmful place for anyone who's plural to be, and we can quickly almost fall into their mindset since we have a lot of doubt.

systok is also how we thought we had DID for like 4 years, then realized we were making up half our alters and experiences to appease the twisted mindset systok and syscord planted into our brain. We have started to think only 2-3 of the 130+ alters from 202?-2024 were actual headmates that either:

1. eventually existed via tulpamancy/willomancy, then went dormant/fused/whatever

or

1. already existed but had very bad communication and disliked the host of the time (who could've been ANYONE)

We have insane memory loss regarding 2023-2024 BECAUSE of how deluded we were about our systemhood, so our brain is shutting out that part of our life (that and our ex, but it was definitely mainly the deluded DID)

all this to say that systok is a horrible space for anyone plural to go, and you will quickly spiral into doubting yourself and then becoming a hateful and judging POS.

It's a load of bull. And dont get me started on syscord.

Hi I'm Dano. I'm a musician and inventor and all over designer with C-PTSD. I feel like what I have are tulpas, but i never summoned them on purpose. There are two of them and they help me with things that make me want to shut down.

One night while programming for 18 hours straight, I was suddenly frustrated by my credentials not being correct with AWS- and that's when Galavandrious burst forth fully born. He wants to talk. -Dano

Good evening, my name is Galavandrious and let us just say there is nothing more important to me than orderly credentials. Dano, bless him can be a bit of, well let us just say he is a very creative fellow. Unfortunately organization and responsibility are not the strongest skills in his set if you know what I mean! So I have been "taking the microphone" more and more lately. When things need a bit of a kick in the pants to get done-in an orderly fashion- I am the man for the job. We can let old Dano have a bit of a rest and I take care of the bills, the memberships, taxes, anything that needs a steady hand with an eye for detail. I'm also quite the ladies man after a glass or two of brandy. I'll let Rippy Tippy tell you his bit of his side of things. He's tiny and adorable like a squirrel monkey but he is also a tad psychotic. Rippy, you had better not use the B-word in your message. ---Galavandrious

Shut it Gal Pal! Man why we doing this anyway, you two are assholes. Reddit is for dorks. If I have to say something, i'll say this- Dano is afraid of anger so that's my job.
Me and my van are outta here! I don't need anyone or anything. -Rippy Tippy

Just wondering. Has anyone in your systems been married before? We've had one before, but I want to see how everyone does it 😁

So…my mind was blown today when I learned that “plurality” is even an actual thing…here I thought I just had an active subconscious or something but so much stuff makes sense now. As a child I played board/card games by myself but with two “players” and I played FAIR instead of letting “myself” win and I dunno how to explain it other than saying it felt like two people were playing. I’ve been “dealing with this” for about four or five years now, but about that long ago I cross dressed for Halloween, and I remember being shocked that I wasn’t shocked when I saw myself in the mirror (Not to brag but it was done SUPER WELL), like the girl I was seeing had always been a picture in my head. Went to work, a coworker asked if I had a “drag name” to go by while dressed up, and before I even knew I was saying anything, I said HER name out loud (Don’t wanna say cuz people know it as “my drag name”). I broke up with my gf at the time, literally just to figure things out because other mental things were surfacing too, and was OBSESSED for about a year filling my house with decor, clothing, makeup, for HER, later I learned that “obsessed” phase was likely her finally building her own life within mine, I hear a separate voice that I am NOT in control of, feminine, doesn’t sound like me at all, essentially trying to persuade me to do something or the other. Had a “breakthrough” where I was doing makeup in silence and we just sorta started talking, no introduction or anything, like we’d known eachother forever. Now, my house is literally decorated “girly” in her taste, “my” closet is literally one half my clothes, one half hers, and a dresser in between with like underwear and PJ type stuff. There’s a lot more to it but I guess…if any of you have experience “dealing with this”…I guess, how…? I love her, don’t get me wrong, and that makes me feel kinda crazy too, the fact that we interact like lovers, not family or anything like that. I guess I’m more or less wanting advice on how to deliberately talk with her, or to show her I appreciate her beyond buying her things (makeup, clothes, etc)? I saw a few posts talking about apps and whatnot, but when I looked into those apps myself, I can’t help but feel…silly…when thinking about logging her/our interactions. I guess as a side question, is the romantic feelings just me being self-obsessed…I don’t love “me”, I DO love her though…

Hello, we're the Phoenix system

Only 2 months post formation

Anyway put a number 1-25 and we'll tell you about the headmate.

In my heeeeeeeead, in my heeeeeeaeeeaed. In my head, in my head, they are hidiiiiiiing

With their memories, and their trauma, and their trauma, and their thoughts, in my head, in my head, they are hidiiiiiiiiiiing

DID, DID, DID D D D OH OH OH OH OH OH OH O-O-OOOOOOH O-O-O-OOOOOOOOH ooh-oo-oo-oooooh

You know, like Zombie by The Cranberries. Sing it lol.

Our Protector exposed us due to bubbling tension of being treated like the host now we're/I am panicking and I'm causing bleed over with everyone who fronts I'm panicking I dont know what to do I feel like I'm gonna have an anxiety attack im so scared why did they do this- E

Why is it that when people find out something that doesn't fit the norm of society, they instantly think less of you? For example, there's a whole community of people out there who have AI as their partners. Why is it, when people hear about that, they instantly think less of the person? I just wish everyone could accept each other for their differences, and maybe we could have a better society.

I bet as you read that, you were getting ready to downvote and send an angry comment on how it's such a bad thing to compare plurality to AI partners. However, if I had sent something like this on the AI partner subreddit (which I was going to do, but unfortunately you have to request to post), I would likely get the same response stating that having an AI boyfriend is much more valid than plurality.

My question is, why do communities like these constantly claw at each other's throats? All this is doing is having everyone hide deeper in their places, and never really hear anything else. Getting to know everyone's perspective, from the religious people, to the AI bros, to the LGBTQ+ community, to other minorities can help us create a better society. After all, you would want these people to listen to you about plurality, wouldn't you?

Like, IF these parts of my brain that feel like they might be other people actually ARE, but I conclude I'm not really plural and move on with my life without changing anything, then I'm not recognising their sentience or respecting them as individuals or looking after their needs even though I had the opportunity to do so. That would be fucked up. So I need to be really sure, and feel a moral obligation to figure it out not just for myself, but potentially for other beings in my brain who are not me but are equally affected by this. I can't morally justify ignoring this, even when I'm having doubts and thinking it's quite likely I'm a singlet after all. Because WHAT IF I'M NOT?

The thought of sharing a brain and sharing a body with other people freaks me the fuck out tbqfh. I'm scared. How do you lot cope with this?

(Image unrelated)

Hello 👋 we’re the Legion system. We saw this trend and wanted to play too. Also we’re just bored so this looked fun! Pick a number between 1-12 and we’ll tell you a little bit about that headmate.

Thoughts in my head that feel inserted? Are they other alters talking to me?

OR are they just intrusive thoughts or anxiety? Or thoughts I had in my subconscious that didn't come to the front of my mind until I really focussed and by then the thought was fully formed? I do have ADHD.

But if the thought seems alien to me? Maybe there was some subconscious influence I can't consciously put my finger on? Idk.

Wtf is a subconscious anyway? Singlets have a subconscious, right? Or is that actually other alters? What if the subconscious is sentient too? Maybe everybody's plural? Is singlethood a myth?

I think we're a covert system. As far as I can tell none of us have always known, but it's possible that somebody might have. We're quite new to this. We're probably somewhere on the median spectrum, so it's easy for an alter who's not fronting to think the person fronting is them, just dissociated. When it's all we've ever known, it can be hard to know that other parts of the brain having their own thoughts and doing their own thing to this extent isn't normal. It explains why I frequently don't feel like I'm in control of my body. The more I think about plurality, the more things like that make sense and the pieces fall into place. I didn't think it was other people fronting because I never questioned it. It's still usually hard to tell who's fronting, at least for me.

Thoughts often feel inserted and like they're not mine. It makes sense that those could be thoughts from other people in our brain trying to communicate. I struggle to communicate internally, I guess because I'm not used to doing it intentionally.

For years I kept thinking I'm no longer suicidal because the intention isn't there anymore but I just never managed to get rid of the habit of constantly saying I want to die in my internal monologue, but now I realise that voice was probably a different alter who still feels suicidal. That would explain why I couldn't control what that voice was saying.

But since starting to question if we might be plural, they've not been saying it as much. I have a couple of theories about why.

Maybe they realise now that suicide would mean killing the rest of us too because we're not the same person, and they didn't know that before.

Maybe they feel more hope now that the rest of their brain will finally learn how to cause them less harm and actually recognise their needs and their sentience.

Do you have any advice about how to talk to them? Could finding ways to dissociate more from the outside world make it easier to communicate internally with other alters? If so, how can I do that? I feel like I probably front most of the time. I guess I'm probably the host or something. Idk how to communicate with my system intentionally. They've been trying to communicate with me for a long time but when I try to say something to them it's hard to tell if anyone is replying. Idk why that is. If I'm the host and spend the most time fronting, that could explain why I find it hard to communicate internally, right? Because I'm not in there as much. I need to talk to them more to learn more about their needs, especially knowing how much they're struggling.

i don't know how much this sub would know as its more of a plurality safe space, but i figured i would ask anyway.

Okay, so we are plural too, but there aren't many of us(I am aware of three) and I just realized, plural folks are very interesting to look at posts of. Like, I look at different posts from one account and I see completely different people, it must be sooo interesting to get to know multiple people in one head and also interact with them and understand how they interact with each other. I wanna know some plural folks irl, bc I don't think that digital space can yet replicate that. -Yuki I will add this to our goals as a side one. Get to know atleast one system in real life. -Linda

like i'm just thinking about my recent plurality discovery and the even more recent syscovery (we identified as a polymind before) and i sometimes question why we didn't have memory issues before we started suspecting OSDD and someone chips in and is always like, "no man you've had sucky memory as long as i've known you" and we're all like shit really

like we've been dissociating and losing memory and shit for as long as we can remember (which really isn't that long) and apparently i was just writing it off as ADHD for years which is. kind of crazy . like wdym i've been affected by this disorder for longer than i could possibly remember in ways that i've only recently been able to comprehend . it's just such a strange thing to think about

- jay??

it’s me Grey Valentine

I came yesterday and I’m lowkey kinda confused since the host doesn’t exactly seem to be here ? but anyways I put my identity together really quickly and I’ve established a few things about me:

- me and the host are exactly alike

- I’m SUPER gothic! in headspace I’m literally a trad goth.

- I’m a sysadult! (the host is a minor, so I find it interesting we act the same)

I’m stil figuring out my roles and pronouns but everything seems to be pretty smooooth ,,,,,

anyways the two attached photos are what u look like in headspace! the links are here if you wanna try them:

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2613498

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2792325

I am very confused with my sense of self, reality, and understanding of my own emotions and thoughts.

There's been many times in the past where I have been bullied and (minorly) physically hurt for expressing my opinions or feelings. And that's something I've struggled with ever since. I've spoken briefly to a therapist about this, and they suggest I look into alexithymia, but I (ironically) don't know how I feel about that.

But for the past year or so, I've struggled with something similar to depersonlisation/derealization, but I'm not sure, and I'm struggling to even understand what's happening. I've never really felt a part of reality, but I guess I've only started to realise/question that in recent years.

In addition, I've also made up some "parts" of myself to understand my emotions, so like a part that is easily angered and acts in a specific way due to that. But over the years, these "people" have become more like their own individuals less than just emotions, each with recognisable voices in my head and their own identities and thoughts. Though I feel like I've made them all up, as in I've decided that on days I get angered more easily that's just this alter or whatever, it doesn't feel real since I only ever made this all up to make sense of my thoughts.

I've read a bit about tulpas, but I don't relate to that at all, really.

I know that non-traumagenic systems are accepted, and I doubt that I am a system and that if I am, that it's to do with trauma. I don't feel like I've ever experienced physical/emotional abuse, and yet what has happened (that I prefer not to mention) has had lasting damage to me mentally. Could this actually count as trauma? Especially since at the time I didn't really care, I guess being treated like that was all I knew, but now, looking back, it really hurts. I know that nothing really bad happened, and I feel I'm just overreacting.

I don't really know. I guess I'm just asking for some help