How do you feel when seeing doubles? Would you rather not interact with them or interact with them?

Having a body is weird. So many moving parts and weird fleshy smelly mushy bits in random places. Idk, I guess I'm not used to fronting. In my dissociation I guess I'm some amorphous entity. Fuck bodies lol. - Goblin it/creature

If you ever wanted to know what jack was like. I guess hes co pilot today.

So I (a non-plural person) just found out that one of my good friends is plural, and after having him explain the basics of it and what it's like for him, I found myself kind of wanting it, because the way he described how it is for him made it sound really interesting. Does anybody have any tips or resources or something like that for helping me imagine what it could be like? Sorry if this is a stupid post to make but I'm just curious what it's like

Slightly long & Vent !!

I’ve discovered plurality very recently, and it has led me to wonder whether I’m plural myself too. 

Right after that, I had some voices/thoughts in my head, telling me to accept them, and that they’re real.
But there will also be a thought/voice that will retaliate back by saying that I’m lying to myself, and that I should stop doing that because it’s harmful to me, and people in the plural community. 

I don’t know if they’re telling the truth, or just tricks my brain has come up with just to fit in with the symptoms. Nonetheless, I entertained them and had a back to back conversation with them. They're mostly active during night time or when I’m doing a daily task that does not require much focus. (looking back, I shouldn’t have done that)

It all started small—they would comment back with short sentences, and comfort me whenever I’m stressed. Slowly, they would ‘take over’ whenever I’m stressed or overwhelmed, so that I would still be able to take care of myself and perform daily tasks without worrying anyone. 

Whenever they ‘take over’, I would not feel such strong emotion as previously if I do remember the situation that's brought me there first (this mostly happen), or my brain would block it out for me. Sometimes when ‘they’ ‘take over’, I feel a little light headed, and it’s like my emotions switched instantly. I would think, “Why would I even think like that, it’s not like me, this is stupid.”

I also have a more frequent memory loss right after the discovery. If I remember correctly? I don’t usually have memory loss as bad as this. Before, I would usually remember the stressful event, I just don't feel the emotions as strongly as I’ve before. 

Reason why I suspect I am faking it:

1. My inner dialogue is different from before and after the discovery:

Lets say, I am deciding whether I should make a coffee.

Before: 
‘Should I make a cup of coffee for myself today? It’s quite late, and I might not be able to fall asleep later. Also it’s unhealthy for me, maybe I shouldn’t…*my body automatically open the coffee package*...oh well, since it’s open, I couldn’t just waste it!’

After:
‘Should I make a cup of coffee for myself today? I mean I always do…’
‘You know it’s unhealthy for you.’
‘Yeah I know, but I need it…’
‘You’re addicted to it.’
‘But…’
*My body automatically opens the coffee package.*
‘...’

1. I used to have an imaginary friend, but that’s back when I was really lonely, and I had let it go when I was 12. The imaginary friend’s purpose was to comfort me whenever I’m stressed, and act as a friend, I don’t remember them ‘taking over’ tho.
2. The people living in my head popped out right after I discovered plurality. (Or so I’ve remembered, probably true tho).
3. I’ve always referred to myself as ‘I’, instead of ‘we’. But I do not mind being called the opposite gender or as they/them.
4. I felt like my ‘alters’ are not really distinct. Idk, I cannot really tell who’s ‘fronting’.

I’ve more points to add in, but my mind is hazy right now and I can’t remember any points I’ve before. I tried to recall my past memories, but it’s just too hazy, and my head hurts whenever I try.

Slight vent

1. I don’t have a traumatic childhood. My parents mostly just hit me and scold me as a punishment or whenever I misbehave, but it isn’t until the abusive type, and they stopped doing that (mostly), but the scolding can be scary tho. I can’t remember. I also can’t really remember my school life, I used to be bullied (I think), but it isn’t that bad, besides I didn’t know that I was bullied at that time, I was just mostly excluded.

I don’t even know why I am writing this now and the post may have gotten out of topic, but can anyone tell me whether this is valid or not, how I can stop this, and if there’s something more I should be worrying about. Getting a psychiatrist is out of the picture for now, I’m afraid of my image if my family were to know I am struggling with my mental health.

I’m sorry if this post has offended or hurt anyone, please educate me if it had. I am also sorry if the post is too hard to comprehend or understand, I can’t really put it into words.

Extra info:

• When I started writing this, I was calm, but when it’s almost to the end, my head started to hurt from trying to remember the stuff.
• I almost had a breakdown just now during a crisis. My ‘alter’ ‘fronted/co-fronted’ just to take care of me and comfort me, idk.
• Please help, I think I’ve gone/  almost gone into a crisis for quite an amount of time.  I’ve lost my appetite from this, and can’t really focus on the task I’m supposed to do.
• I want to delete this post, but don't want to at the same time?

yayyy

hir name is francine& zie is from miché's subsystem :]

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 2.
Anxiety and ADHD officially joined the mix (of course they were always there) at 13.
And the life-controlling OCD finally got pointed out to me a year ago, I really should have known sooner.
4 fucking diagnoses.
And I know I have some sort of depressive disorder. It runs in my family, and obviously I’m fucking depressed for months on end.
So I don’t god damn want another thing. I don’t want DPDR or DID or OSDD or whatever the fuck it is. I know it exists. I know the symptoms I experience won’t go away just because I try to ignore it and it doesn’t get diagnosed.
But I wish that is how it worked. A diagnosis feels Official. Like I can’t brush it off and ignore it.

I don’t want this. My brain is so disordered already, I want to pretend to be somewhat functional. I don’t want “us” to get diagnosed. I want to ignore this one thing. Why can’t I be allowed to just brush this one thing off?

There's been this thing going on for about a year. It started with me kinning characters and roleplaying as them, but when my mental health got really bad they sort of stopped being aliases or personas and just started existing in my head? When they 'talk' to me it's not like I'm actually hearing them, it's like I'm thinking them. And we all share a memory, it's not like I dissociate when they are me it's just like my personality changes and how I react and speak changes. And I only really started feeling like this after I was exposed to a lot of fictionkins and other plural people online and irl so idk.

We consist of Tatsuya, Eikichi, Ryuji, Yusuke and Akira/Ren(Joker),

Hoping to find some Persona source mates, specifically if from P2 that would be spectacular, other than that, I am not at all picky, I'd simply love to meet you. :)

We are somewhat Kin/Linkplural so excuse me if I come off wrong.

— Tatsuya[❣️]

💜

anyways hi

I'm too lazy to make my profile actually look good so have the default purple + idk what images to use tbh likr maybe images of koalas bc I am a koala like creature??? I just don't want using images of how I actually look like in source bc reasons that is similar to fenrir's too (bc we are both miserable self hating soviet cartoon character fictives lol bc of trauma reasons & said soviet cartoons we are both fictives of are very triggering for us)

note: we are bodily bulgarian, not russian

-🧀

Original post reposted with permission

Getting real tired of these two 😭

- KC

We have an introject based on a game we play. We can play the game as other characters just fine, and sometimes she talks or moves around, which she’s fine with. We all (including hir) would like to play as her character to get the full experience of the game. However, she’s involuntarily triggered to front and causes the entire system immense anxiety attacks because of how real the game and playing hir own character feels to hir (game includes fighting and survival). It also gives us a massive headache.

She would like to not be forced to front whenever we touch her character, or if playing as her character continues to trigger hir to front, we’d at least like to help hir be able to differentiate video game panic from real life panic. She and we know that it’s not real, even as it’s happening, but she still feels the panic as though she’s being played on screen.

For context, we don’t have clear internal communication. We generally can just read each others’ minds without words, but that doesn’t mean we “speak” with each other. More just vibes based off feelings. We also have a Discord server.

Thank you for any help, iie

(Introject in question goes by she/hir they/them he/him)

We currently say we’re a system of roughly eight individuals (plus some possible fragments).

We know there are systems with dozens of headmates, but we can barely handle the eight we already have. We’re terrified of having any more.

.

For the past week, we have been very blurry and aren’t sure why. Yes, it has been a very dissociative week, but usually we’re still able to figure out who we are.

There has been a theory proposed as to why this is happening. The theory states we just aren’t acknowledging the fronter actually exists. As in, the fronter is not one of the eight headmates we currently track.

It’s not confirmed, as it is entirely possible we’re just blurry due to dissociation, however it is a terrifying possibility. Especially given how overwhelmed we already are.

I have made a post about this before, how my sister made me delete all socials n all

Now I don’t use discord nor tumblr anymore, but I’m using Pinterest on web because I still edit a few headmates icons/banners in pluralspace and I need to log into Pinterest everytime using google

And you know how google sends a notification every time someone logs into an account? Since my sister has my gmail account on her phone, she also gets a notification and today she came up to me, this is how the convo went:

Sister: “why do you keep logging into your account? I keep getting notifications of it.”

Me: “I’m just logging into Pinterest since I use the web version.”

Then she proceeded to look at me with a skeptical look like she wasn’t the one that forced me to delete all socials while yelling at me. Did she still expect me to download it again without her permission even after how she reacted?

Im changing my Pinterest email after this too, it’s getting too annoying of her to even monitor my email.

Hey plural gang would anyone want to be penpals w us? Spirigenic mixed orgin Endo.

we found this poem written by somebeing in our system on march 6 this year and wanted to share:

not here, but not there—seeking
to be there, but something is holding back.
a hint here, some reminder,
yet the brain doesn’t wish to reflect.
these dissociative barriers
the immovable object against that unstoppable force
of association, of searching,
ending up in limbo, neither here nor there,
not quite not there but not quite there.

something solidifies and I remember—
her?
—then dissociation swells, the words no longer before me,
the images snatched away, and my body falling,
outside of my control.

i ask a question.
who is “i”? what differentiates “me” from the “we”?
i get no answer. i think the i is fluid and shifting,
made of multiple, of whoever takes what control we can
at any given time, but we lose it and another steps in.
i is not solid or static. i is fluid, in and out
with voices and feelings and
memories.

something small immobilizes me.
i wish to know why.
i cannot know why.
i cannot
know.

the i
cannot know.

Hey!

I have a question that might be a little too theoretical, and I may be overthinking it, so please feel free to tell me if you think so.

I’ve been wondering for a while whether I might have OSDD or partial DID. This didn’t come from a diagnosis, but from conversations with my mental health team, who helped me recognize symptoms of dissociation - I also thought everyone did that. But of course, I could be mistaken. I’m still questioning myself and would be still questioning myself after a DX. Can you tell I am DX with OCD as well? Lol. To be clear, I’m not asking anyone to DX me!

I don’t feel like I have alters but rather a fragmented self personally - they are all a part of the same person.

What I’m curious about is how people first come to suspect they’re plural. How can we tell, from our own subjective experience, that our sense of self differs from that of someone who experiences themselves as a single, unified person? Since we can’t directly access other people’s inner worlds, how do we know what is distinctive about our own experience?

I also worry about mistaking a framework for an explanation. For example, IFS resonated with me almost immediately, but how can I tell whether it helps me recognize something that was already there or simply gives me a way to interpret my inner experience?

In other words, how do you distinguish discovering your own multiplicity from interpreting your experiences through the idea of being plural?

I will be discussing this with my psychiatrist and therapist. I’m just curious!

hey it's me cheez and I am well, a cheburashka fictive who is self hating but the only positive thing abt me is like that I like to eat cheese for some reason

I fucking hate myself and the fact I am a cheburashka fictive, I wish I was never a fictive of them AT ALL

I literally JUST formed after seeing an image of them on our reddit feed on a comfort character subreddit before we instantly clicked away, it wasn't intentional at all. I just spawned somehow

btw we have childhood trauma related to my source so that's why we are a fictive of a triggering source (for fenrir'a source we have gender dysphoria trauma)

me and fenrir can't stand looking at pics of source us, it just makes me feel sick.. (fenrir is a fictive of the wolf from well just you wait btw)

(disclaimer: we are bodily bulgarian NOT russian)

-🧀

​

Functional dissociation or inner companion? Seeking perspective.

Body:

Hello,

Some people online told me I might have DID because I talk about an "inner companion" (my masculine side). I am a feminine person in a male body. I don't want to change my body.

My masculine side is not a separate alter with lost memories. He is a part of me I talk to, and he talks back.

During my integration exercises, I feel energy in my belly, I sigh, I tremble, and sometimes experience a dry orgasm. I imagine being held, kissed, and accepted as a woman. I do not imagine organs or penetration. My goal is emotional connection, not sex.

I have never lost time, never forgotten who I am, and I function normally. I know he is a part of me, not a separate person.

My question: Could this be functional dissociation (a protective inner companion) rather than DID? I am not looking for a diagnosis, just perspective. Thank you.

العنوان: انفصال وظيفي أم رفيق داخلي؟ أبحث عن منظور.

المحتوى:

مرحباً،

أخبرني بعض الأشخاص على الإنترنت أنني قد أعاني من اضطراب الهوية الانفصامية (DID) لأنني أتحدث عن "رفيق داخلي" (جانبي الذكوري). أنا شخص أنثوي في جسد ذكري. لا أريد تغيير جسدي.

جانبي الذكوري ليس "بديلاً" منفصلاً بذاكرة منفصلة. هو جزء مني أتحدث معه، وهو يتحدث معي.

أثناء تمارين التكامل، أشعر بطاقة في بطني، وأتنهد، وأرتعد، وأحياناً أختبر ذروة جافة. أتخيل أنني محتضنة، ومقبلة، ومقبولة كامرأة. لا أتخيل أعضاء أو إيلاجاً. هدفي هو الاتصال العاطفي، وليس الجنس.

لم أفقد الوعي بالوقت أبداً، ولم أنس من أنا، وأعمل بشكل طبيعي. أعرف أنه جزء مني، وليس شخصاً منفصلاً.

سؤالي: هل يمكن أن يكون هذا انفصالاً وظيفياً (رفيقاً داخلياً وقائياً) بدلاً من DID؟ أنا لا أبحث عن تشخيص، بل عن منظور. شكراً.

I made bracelets for all my frequent fronters and when they front they put on their bracelet as a representation of who they are without having to change how the body is

It can also be helpful if you want a friend or partner to know who's fronting

My alters really liked when I made bracelets for them even if some of them don't like me in particular haha

I got the idea from an older pixielocks video