r/entp • u/ethereal_void3 • 2h ago
Debate/Discussion Why has my ENTP friend become so cautious and distant around me?
There's something I'm curious about. Around a year ago I made an online friend who is an ENTP. We got along pretty well. From joking around and fooling around to discussing deep topics, in short I could talk to him about pretty much everything. After we first met he used to talk a lot and I would also joke around with him about different things and we would just laugh about it.
And it's worth mentioning that he has never flirted with me in any way and nothing from my side has reached him in that way either which is why I have a certain level of respect for him.
And beyond all the silliness, he is also a good and helpful person. I can tell that even though he jokes around and playfully bullies his real life friends, he also takes care of them.
But for the past few months, he hasn't really initiated conversations with me as much as he used to. It's not that he ignores me, he is still quite kind to me and he still responds when I want to have deep conversations with him. But I feel like he has become very cautious when talking to me. He isn't as carefree with me as he is with his other friends and he doesn't say whatever comes to his mind as freely as he used to. He has become calmer and gentler and he also maintains a bit of distance from me.
And even when I ask him if any of my behavior bothers or annoys him, he just says that I'm not bothering him at all, not even a bit.
And yes he knows about certain things that have happened in my life because of which he might think that I'm a very stressed, hurt and fragile person.
But I don't really present myself as a melancholic person in our conversations. I've just been honest with him that yes, some things in life make me sad but I genuinely believe that I can handle myself.
But his behavior makes me feel like he still sees me as a very sad person lol.
Because of his calm and gentle attitude, I also feel awkward joking around with him the way I used to. So now I'm even calmer around him than before and I can't say any dumb things anymore.
Now I can't figure out why he is being overly cautious and maintaining a bit of distance from me.
