intj: the guy rang the doorbell and you hid, i've never seen anything like that. usually people hear the doorbell and go answer the door

infp: i hide even when i'm home alone because then i can pretend i didn't hear

intj: i've always done that too but now that you're like this, i have to keep answering because if i don't, nobody will

Hi,

Any INTJ Females here can help me understand what is most difficult thing for you that's easiest to majority and what is most easiest thing for you that people find difficult?

I'll go first :

Easiest - finding the most complex difficult things that people quote and doing them as second nature

Difficult - small talk and social, how do people do it so easily?

Hello. Just to clarify, I’m writing this message on behalf of a friend. Let me explain. Whenever she takes that not-entirely-reliable 16 Personality Types test, she always gets INTJ – and it’s been that way for the past five years. I feel that some of the traits fit, but not all of them, and when we’ve talked about it, she’s been somewhat aware of this, but then again, it’s just a test and not necessarily very reliable. However, on certain points, I get the impression she has a bit of an ISTP side to her. Even though, obviously, nobody fits a personality type perfectly, I feel she’s split 50/50 between the INTJ and the other type. Even though I’m aware that they’re two very different personalities in their own right. I realise that, in theory, INTJs plan and anticipate long-term goals… whilst ISTPs act in the present and improvise. INTJs synthesise patterns to predict outcomes. ISTPs analyse mechanisms and test things using their senses. INTJs can be intense, structured and more determined. ISTPs are more relaxed, pragmatic and adaptable. The thing is, we’ve spent time analysing their cognitive functions. INTJ NI TE FI SE ISTP TI SE NI FE

The problem is that when you look at her observational functioning, it’s clear that there’s Ni, but also SE. Even though the two are obviously not in the same proportions. However, when you analyse her decision-making functions, even though it’s absolutely clear+++ that her dominant function is Tx, when analysed together it’s around 65 per cent Te and only 35 per cent TI. So, logically, this seems to confirm the INTJ side. But at the same time, even though she comes across as cold on the outside, she doesn’t have that tendency to plan things out 20 years in advance, etc. She is also very creative (drawing, painting, watercolours, crafts, sewing), which, according to stereotypes, is more commonly associated with ISTPs. She is, however, a real ‘cat person’ in terms of personality. She finds it hard to open up. Calm. Independent. She’s quite intense, analytical and reserved on the outside. She acts calmly and generally without emotion. But she also enjoys the present, etc. When you look at her favourite characters in films, books, TV series, etc. – although this is obviously not a reliable criterion – they’re always either ISTP or INTJ, and occasionally INTP…

So I can’t quite work out whether she’d be an INTJ with a fairly well-developed SE—though normally that’s function 4, so it’s unlikely—or an ISTP with a pronounced TE and a weak Ti. Because if there’s one thing I’m fairly certain of, it’s that she isn’t an SI. And also, even though I know that cognitive functions and personality are different, the fact that she could be an EXXX seems highly unlikely...

And even though I know that every individual is extremely different, her father is an ENTJ and my grandmother and cousin are ISFPs, so to get a partial glimpse, I grant/concede, of these people, it seems not credible

Anyway, thanks in advance to everyone

So, I am a text-book INTJ. I love to solve problems. It's just how my brain is wired.

The thing is, I'm coming to realise that there are some things in life which can't necessarily be "solved".

For example, my wife passed away 5 months ago and no amount of solving or solutioning is going to change that. Grief isn't a problem that can be "solved". It's something that requires time and acceptance.

I guess my question is, how do you balance your need to solve things? How do you not treat everything like it's a problem to solve?

I don’t know if it’s just me or every INTJ like it’s good to have a girlfriend, but I really not interested to put any effort to it like go approaching putting actual efforts in the actual world.

I don't know about you all, but I have more creativity and plans than hours in the day, and at a certain point things start to pile up. Ideas, plans, to-dos, materials for those projects. A lot of it is optional stuff that would objectively improve my life and be enjoyable, but it falls by the wayside for responsibilities, relaxation, or other newer projects.

This is compounded by life constraints from being a homeowner and a parent. I have a lot of free-ish time that either has other soft demands on it or could be interrupted by a toddler at any moment.

I never considered myself a procrastinator and have no trouble sticking to a plan, real life is just more fungible than either school or work.

Of course, there's also the very real issue of "I've solved the problem of how to do this so it's boring now" because let's face it, the planning is the fun part in a lot of cases.

What has helped you guys?

I know this might sound too trivial to ask, but how do you deal with those seemingly genuine praises?

I don't want to generalise but looking at the posts on here I can't help but relate to the looming existential despair and struggle of trying to connect but never fitting in. Certain past experiences in formative years of isolation, bullying in childhood and the pains of unrequited love, betrayal, uncertainty that followed in adulthood really skewed my perspective of people in general and instilled a deep sense of fear and rejection. 29 yrs old now and over the years, I've tried everything I could to move forward, focus on my responsibilities, adhere to a strict routine, and understand my own behavioural patterns.

What troubles me most is the pattern I keep noticing in myself:

• I become interested in someone, and my mind begins subconsciously constructing an imagined future before anything concrete has developed.
• Uncertainty triggers endless analysis. I examine messages, timing, words, and all possible interpretations, trying to find the decision that will minimise the risk of being hurt or it revealing an unfortunate truth about me.
• When reality doesn't match what I imagined, I experience it as a much larger loss than the actual relationship or situation would seem to warrant.

The cycle repeats.

I'm beginning to wonder whether my analytical mind is actually working against me here. I can understand my patterns intellectually, but that understanding doesn't seem to stop the emotional spiral. I've practised mindfulness and tried to develop detachment, yet my mind still uncontrollably latches onto possibilities like a narcotic and turns them into elaborate fantasies. Atp I'm emotionally exhausted with zero motivation to even invest myself and turning every decision into a high-stakes calculation and every disappointing outcome confirming something negative about me.

I'm starting to accept that control is an illusion and there's no way out anymore. Just going about this absurd life surrendering to the unknown.

Hey guys,
idk what to just say cause ik intj from mbti as a master mind something nothing much besides what the INTJ stands for and tbh i do think a lot map out possibilities, analyse details and social interactions and some time i’m even good with facial cues and other behavioural things like i can see through sometimes but overall there is this feeling like no one can see what i see no one really catches on to me or understands what i think is what i think
and emotions don’t even get me started on that😭
my emotions are just choices i choose idk i usually don’t talk much out but i’m highly pretentious but not always cause ik what people want to see and others things like planning and all i am a good strategist at least i think so but still ik this is all just talk for you guys without any proof but still who cares what you guys think
so just gonna leave it up to you guys to test me that am i really an INTJ or am i just a fool
(fyi i did some personality tests online and cross checked with gpt and yeah i am a teenager)

i think this could be the best thing that could happen to an person with intj in terms of relationship.

A dumb thing I do in private.

One of my dogs likes to be by my side at all times, and the other likes their alone time; and so I leave the TV on in the living room so he can look out the window and listen to music.

Tonight, I left a concert of Andrew Lloyd Webber playing for him. When I got up from my computer at a later point. He was looking at the TV when I walked in, and Phantom of the Opera was playing.

So, I waddle up to him and say in the mandatory dumb voice humans use to talk to animals: "Is you watching Phantom of the Opera?" And then after saying that, I had to look at my other dog to say "Hims watching Phantom of the Opera."

Not sure why I do it. I like to think he's cussing me out, because obviously, he does not have the means to change the channel himself. /s

But that's something I would never feel comfortable doing around the public. It's too cringe in my opinion. But truth be told, the cringe yearns for us.

What is your ideal fuel for running 5K?

Here are my favourites for optimal performance:

• veg pizza
• veg lasagna/ pasta
• couscous
• black rice/ veg
• 100% coconut water without additives

What are your favourite foods for high intense cardio activity, such as running 5K?

Then tell me one thing you absolutely love 🥰

I was getting to know this intj guy, it was long distance, and major red flags started to show, he ALWAYS wanted to dominate, even in our day to day interactios, and he gave backhanded compliments,

he would say super unhinged stuff that screams this person is watching p0rn 24/7, fantasies that just made me sick, I could go on and on about the red flags,

the thing is, he was not young, in his thirties actually, and he is just starting his career, he always told me that he doesn't respect boundaries and always wants to break them.

Was this a "less flavored" intj ? Cause i have intj friends but it's the first time I date one. And iam trying to understand what kind of intj was that 😭 cause if this is like a stereotype, then iam taking like a huge one step back 👀

This just occured to me.

I'm living near the water now and I started thinking about all the cool activities I can do now.

My initial thought was "Wow I could really use friends now!"

But then, I thought "I really want someone to jet ski with!"

And in that moment, it occured to me that those are two totally different things. I'm glad I realized that because it would've led me in the loop again of wanting friends but also having no desire to initiate things.

It's not really that I want friends per se, it's moreso that I just want to compete and share the joy of a fun activity. Realizing this, instead of looking for friends, I can actually look for spaces/apps where I can satisfy that specific urge. It could even be something like finding a particular forum or subreddit.

So I really encourage you guys whenever you have the thought of feeling like you need a new friend, try to get to the specific of what feeling is really speaking to you that you want to go after. This isn't just a change in mindset or looking at the bright side. It's about understanding yourself and getting the most practical, efficient solution possible!

how does it change intj abilities? Do you feel a lot dumber than your potential but somehow u manage to pull through and overachieve?

So no shit there I was, on Bumble of all places looking for a relationship. Anywayssss, i match with this girl and we immediately hit it off. It was like i was finally talking to someone who spoke the same language as me.

After some time talking, i brought up myers-briggs typology. I asked her to take the 16personalities test out of curiosity, and she happily agreed to and got INFJ. She knows nothing about myers-briggs so this is all new to her.

I then say “oh, nice! You’re feeling and I’m thinking. That seems like a really good dynamic to have”

She goes “that’s a good one” and ghosts me

Myers-briggs describes the way you interpret the world around you. She didn’t understand that and thought I was insulting her. I wish i could have been given time to explain what i meant by that.

The fatal flaw of INTJ is our willingness and desire to share information with those who dont necessarily want it

I just read this future-prediction book from 2009, called "The Next 100 Years: A Forecast for the 21st Century". very interesting stuff.

my dad (also INTJ) used to read books like these. I remember seeing "Megatrends" in a pile of books when I was just a little kiddo, and feeling some kind of soul connection to whatever a "megatrend" was. hahaha

anyway, not a promo, but some interesting takes from the 100 Years book:

first, it's fairly U.S. centric in terms of focus (though it does critique the U.S.), and the author takes the position that the 1990s (good version) are coming back.

admittedly it's nice to think about in a way, as these days the inner strategic-stoic sometimes feels like "you will never have nice things again, no one will," lol

poland & eastern europe got lots of props as emerging leaders in that theatre. will germany and france naturally sideline themselves? hmm

china and russia were painted as going nowhere (or in the latter case, going away), with china outlined as being in a situation similar to the high-output-but-requires-high-input situation japan was in with the low-cost market saturation business coming out of the 1980s.

additionally, china is portrayed as now totally missing its normal third pillar of popular belief in the CCP / nature of communism, and likely to end up more reliant on outside connections and fragmenting under crushing / cascading debt issues.

some of the prospective military gear discussion is pretty intriguing too, with the author describing the "satellite battle group," a theoretically necessary new system similar to a carrier battle group.

drones are not mentioned, but similar and even more advanced types of autonomous robotic systems are mentioned. this in addition to strategic control of lagrange points and similar details make the military side really specific and eye-opening.

finally, it's pointed out that aging populations basically dictate a need to execute warfare with a much higher level of precision. and the author points out that more precision means less devastation...ergo a major change in what future war looks like.

my basic review: https://www.marccarsoncoaching.com/articles/the-next-100-years-a-forecast-for-the-21st-century/

if you have any book recommendations, feel free to drop 'em ofc.

I'm new here. Was advised this is a place to meet other INTJ's. I'm not as tech savvy so bare with me. Do any of you experience this?

I love being an INTJ. I am who people call when they need logic perspective… for the first time I’m struggling to find friends.

I live in a really rural and really isolated area and it’s very hard to find friends, because apparently when people ask questions they want to hear specific answers that placate their feelings instead of objective facts.

I’m going to keep trying to make friends and eventually find my people. I just can’t really pick a political party because to me that’s insane when they’re both clearly wrong in a lot of ways… I’m on the side of logic, always…. Also, when people get pissed at me or someone else I can always see their side and understand people are different, and this is the USA so speak your opinion loudly, but it’s rare to find someone who shares that sentiment. So like when people complain to me I can’t lie about who they complained about. I can say “it’s not my place.” But to me it’s understanding for all people to complain about everyone, and I don’t understand why people get mad about “talking sh*t” because it’s like of course people need to vent. Either take it as constructive criticism or don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter and we can’t control other people.

Idk, at least I have my kids. They’re pretty logical.

I don’t think I should waste much more time trying to understand the game and figure out what people want to hear. Good friends are honest.

For the INTJs, from an INFJ.

Just wanted to say that I love you guys.

You really have this power inside your hearts and minds that captivates me so much.. I love seeing that frickin' light in your eyes when you explain something or even when you look at something!

I really love the deep connection we share. One of my best friends is an INTJ, and I really really love her. She's incredibly smart. It shows in the way she speaks and explains ideas, systems, and visions she has. Her thinking is logical and solid. She has a very deep heart, along with a sensitivity and tenderness that make me feel whole. Our connection is deep. She's one of the few people I actually truly trust without fear!

Some of the deepest romantic feelings I've ever experienced were for an INTJ. I felt our brief connection with an intensity I'd never experienced with any other guy. We hadn't known each other for very long at all, and yet so much was communicated through silence, through deep silences. His eyes were so intense, as if deep feelings were being held tightly inside. I don't know how to explain this. '(If an INTJ has an idea...). There were so many moments when we would simply say to each other, « I understand, » without having to explain ourselves. We would start an idea with like, 2 or 3 words or just one sentence, and we would say to each other that we understood. It happened when we talked about ideas but also about feelings. It was kinda special. I felt like he was so sensitive but like, trying not to seem too vulnerable, you know? (It was a nourishing connection, one that has now come to an end, but I'm grateful I got to experience it.)

Well, that's all! I just wanted to share my love for you!

Hi. I'm 33 and I'm from Melbourne, Australia. I'm also an INTJ. I was wondering if there were any other INTJs in my city who'd like to chat?

Like, genuinely why should people live up to their potential? On that note, is it really that important to be productive?