I find myself a highly sensitive person and very empathetic
Most people are apathetic honestly, and I believe that’s a core reason of why I am the way I am

I'm an INFJ (F) talking to an INTJ (M). We're both working adults. He's actually engaged in our conversations. He shares things about his life and interests, sends me funny stuff, and sometimes initiates conversations too.

But I've noticed that I'm usually the one asking questions and showing curiosity about him. He doesn't seem to ask as much about me, so the curiosity feels a bit one-sided.

Is this just a communication style thing, or do you guys generally ask questions when you're genuinely curious about someone? Thank you.

EDIT #1: We met each other online and have been texting. But we've never called each other yet.

EDIT #2: Most of our topics aren't really that personal, more like intellectual stuff (occasionally mundane), and the conversation just flows naturally (at least for me, since I'm usually the one asking questions). But most of the time, I end up being the listener and don't really get to share my own thoughts. I don’t really feel the need to give unsolicited opinions either. I guess I'd share more if I felt like I was being asked to...

Idk his Enneagram but he appears like an INTJ 5w4 to me. Meanwhile, I am an INFJ 2w1.

Hey everyone

I'm a teenager and an INTJ I like to analyze things and ask deep, philosophical questions Because of this people around me call me crazy🙂.

Although I don't care what they say but it's strange why you should call someone crazy just because they think differently?

As an INTJ who's aromantic/demisexual (I have no idea), i find people attractive but rarely "fall in love", but when I do - oh wow, i usually surprise myself.

I think, acts of service and physical touch are my main love languages since I'm not really good at expressing myself verbally - i love to make things easier for my person, but only if I can do it, otherwise I would try my best to help them somehow, even if I can't do it directly. I would also play with my person's outfits/acessories - their hoods (of a hoodie, sweatshirt, etc.), the fabric of their outfits (it is so satisfying), their watches, their keys, their spectacles, etc. and they would look at me real confused at times, even called me out for "behaving like a cat", but still let me do it anyways.

I feel like every single time I'm stressed by the people in my life, I hope on here and feel better by reading y'all's experience. It's like looking at a self-reflection and you just immediately feel better like, "ah, I'm not alone in this". Do you guys feel the same?

Edit: Sorry if it looks like I'm seeking validation, I'm not at a good state in mind so I'm pretty desperate for validation crumbs lmao

Am I in the inner circle?

... sincerely, an INFP.

I recently became a mother and it has been one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life.

I never really wanted children until I met my husband (INTP). We were so happy together and because of that wanted to bring a child up in the world together. Due to medical conditions and my age we had to have multiple rounds of IVF over several years. We never gave up because of how badly we wanted this and when we found out we were pregnant we were ecstatic and full of hope for the future.

I am now 7 weeks post partum and while I feel so much love and protectiveness for my son, I sometimes wonder if I have fucked my life up. It’s been hard to deal with the sleep deprivation, the anxiety, the tedium of the newborn trenches and the constant need to be present with hardly any downtime. We are very inexperienced parents despite our age and I feel like I am messing up all the time, which is a strange experience as I have always excelled at work and school. I feel especially bad because as a mother I’m expected to have some magical maternal instinct and know what to do but instead I’m clueless.

Perhaps this is a universal thing and not an INTJ thing but I guess I would like to ask if other INTJ parents felt the newborn period to be especially trying and if it got better as your children got older. I feel I would be a good parent to an older child but it’s just been so hard to figure out a newborn. Sometimes I almost feel like I would be a better father than a mother in a traditional sense, especially as I will practically be the sole breadwinner when I go back to work from maternity leave next year, while husband works part time and looks after the baby.

Concrete scenario: define Ni in a way that an ISTJ would understand. Make it as complex or simple as you want.

I'm not even that close to my so called friends in school, i would rather have none and that's because they are the basic nerd archetype. Clumsy physically not taking care of their looks at all and laughing at some corny memes.. i usually talk about philosophical, psychological and general knowledge stuff but i also feel like i mthe only one helping them get better cuz im actually saying useful info. Do you guys think i should just stop talking completely or? How do i lose all my "friends" is my question, i am used to having none cuz i was i nclass for a year sat alone with my head on the table and thinking and resting a bit in breaks. I kind of miss it. Give me some advie and share your opinions or if u relate to it.

Lately, I've realized that I've become almost obsessed with working and being productive. Even on some weekends, I struggle to relax because I always feel like I should be doing something. I do have hobbies. I travel too and explore new things. I spend time with friends/family. But when I'm also out doing something I enjoy, I sometimes just want to go home and get back to work. It's like I've made work my default. Maybe, I'm using it to escape life and everything happening in the world. I still find myself questioning my purpose.

For those who've experienced this, how did you learn to slow down and enjoy life?

I'm (ENFP F 31) in a relationship with an INTJ (M 41) and we have been together for almost 4 months. Our relationship started very naturally. He liked me for a long time and finally a friend of his told me and I let him give me his number. We have been emotionally close, deep talks, and lose time together. He's told me his feelings for me are that he loves me, that is his first time loving someone as deeply as he does me, and he wants to be with me. In person there's no doubt that what he says is true, but it's different when we are apart.

We have already had a breakup over a life shift (moving) where he worried he wasn't best for me because my life is in one state and hes moving to another. I had told him in the past that long distance doesn't work for me, so he ended it without talking to me first in order to protect himself from what he saw as an inevitable breakup. I told him that I'm willing to go with him and for me it isn't an issue, then gave him space. We both suffered during this breakup. He wasn't going to work and his friends were worried about him. I wasn't doing well either. He came back on his own a week later and we are stronger for it... except in one area: his texting habits.

In the beginning, he texted me very often, and with lots of openness. But as feeling got stronger, he got quieter. Then the breakup. He also has a new job that takes much more of his time that he didn't before the breakup. We are still together because in person I feel closer to him than ever. But apart, his texting habits are difficult for me. We are both busy so we can only see each other 1 to 2 times a week. The texting is the glue I need. But he sometimes doesn't reach out or respond for most of the day, and mostly at night he silent and doesn't read my texts. He said it's because he's tired and work doesn't let him be on his phone, but a simple good night is not happening. He doesn't go days without talking, but he can go close to 24 hours sometimes. He does reach out to ask how I am, and he says sweet things and the texting is slowly improving, but still not like it was.

I read INTJs aren't big texters but that wasn't always the case with him. So I'm not sure if it's something else he doesn't want to say or if he's being honest. Why is he ok with so little communication when we see each other so infrequently?

After what point do you consider accepting a person as a partner or a safe person to be vulnerable with. And how do you show them that you like them or accept them. Specifically i am asking the female intjs

I (22M) met a girl on social media and we decided to go to a cafe. She was very talkative and bubbly (she was an -NT- or -NF- of some sort). Me, I was nervous and anxious. She mentioned that my body language was showing it. I didn't show romantic interest in her, except making some verbal compliments. I just wasn't in the mood. I usually am aloof and reserved in front of strangers and I think this prevented me from vibing with her that day and I suspect this will be a problem in future first dates.

I often struggle with journaling despite recognizing its value and having a genuine desire to make journaling habit. I have experimented with using journal prompts, sketchbooks, gratitude journals, etc. but so far, the best motivator for me is using MBTI as the framework, or jumping point, to get the thoughts flowing. I like reflecting on “shadow functions”, stack order, type weaknesses/ strengths, analyzing other people and speculating their type, and sometimes using the questions in mbti subreddits as journal prompts. Occasionally I do manage to reflect on events without MBTI inspiration, but even then, I find it entertaining to analyze my own writing or reflections through the mbti lens.

I recently started reading “The Red Book” which details Carl Jung’s ideas, and had the thought that maybe even he used the early framework embedded in the foundations of MBTI in this way - to organize and inspire thoughts, analyze from multiple angles, and explore possibilities (more than a “diagnostic” style tool that many people use it as). I’m definitely proponents of active imagination too!

Do you have a blog or online journal you’re willing to share? What have been your experiences and c strategies to continue journaling?

Here’s mine:
https://intxlife.blogspot.com/?m=1

Not INTJ-specific, but since I'm an INTJ, I'd like to know what other INTJs would do in my situation.

I'm a veteran and still have my GI Bill which pays for schooling. I can use this on almost anything, including very expensive private schools. I already have an MS from a top public school in my field, an M7 MBA, and work as a FAANG Software Engineer, which is a high-paying but currently unstable career path.

I want to use my GI Bill on the best option available, and have narrowed it down to a few options. I want to get your thoughts on which you'd pick if you were in my shoes:

1. Part-time doctorate. A few schools offer these, the best being Columbia University in NYC. It's called an EngScd, not a PhD, but is still a doctorate. Because it can be done part-time and has no teaching duties, it requires you to pay for it. But the GI Bill would cover that.

2. 3rd Master's. I have a few master's degrees that I would be interested in taking. Stanford has some Master's at their ICME school that can be done part-time while working. MIT has some interesting programs as well. These schools are the best of the best and I would be happy going to them, but getting a 3rd master's seems like it wouldn't do much career-wise even if the information that I'm learning is from a new topic.

3. Hobbies. Middlebury language schools have summer programs that I could take for multiple summers with the GI Bill to learn languages for fun. Some schools offer music certificate programs to improve music skills (I play the piano). Flight schools are also an option, but the least beneficial, I think. I would enjoy learning to fly but would be unlikely to use it after I finish the school.

All that being said, what are your thoughts? What would you do in my situation? I know that this is a very fortunate situation to be in, and want to make the best decision with the options that I have. Thanks in advance for your opinions.

Early long distance relationship seems to help my INFJ relationship

Hello, I'm INTJ (24M) and I've been dating this INFJ (27F).

We have completely filterless communication, we aren't afraid of discussing difficult not personal topics.

We've gone on about 15 dates, some of them were spending an entire day together, including simple peaceful ones like cooking together and just taking walks and talking.

Due to unrelated personal distress and difficulties I've been open about, I flew to Japan alone for a month and a half to disconnect, ground myself and resteady my inner peace I've achieved, while keeping daily communication with her.

We've both found the intensity of our relationship a bit jarring, too good to be true at times, the Ni-Ni loop definitely had some part in that and we both had the inclination that there's a single major unknown that stopping us from committing to a serious long term relationship with the intention of staying together for good unless proven otherwise.

Since flying to Japan I've felt the burden and the pondering lessen and she explicitly said that she thinks the distance and long term connection is the solution for her unresolved unknown,

Some extra context:

Our connection seems to hold true and the trust hasn't been stronger,

We both get incredibly inspired by each other pretty equally, we both find each other incredibly cute especially, intelligent as well as high emotional intelligence, we have inside jokes, our core values match, there's intimate compatibility, we felt absolute peace while cuddling, in terms of a life partner relationship we have the same end goals, we plan our individual futures together to be parallel and compatible while following our own existing dreams.

We both been in toxic relationships, seeked professional help and learned our lessons from those relationships and what to do different and moved on from them.

We currently have a mutual disinterest in seeking another relationship, we seem to be compatible and satisfied together.

I fiercely protect her from giving in to people pleasing tendencies with me, I make sure she doesn't diminish her value,

She gives me what I require from a relationship; equality in expectations, the joy of the present and the grounding in it, as I tend to lose myself in the future often.

Now I would like to ask you, is this the mark of a healthy relationship or are we missing something important or multiple we would need to address and what is your opinion of this physical distance in order to stifle the growing intensity of the honeymoon phase and enjoy our relationship for what it is and not let it burn too intensely?