r/intj • • Aug 21 '17

Meta IF YOU ARE ON MOBILE, PLEASE READ THE SIDEBAR. Here's a copy of it.

465 Upvotes
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INTJ rules as a snapshot.

r/intj • • 7h ago

MBTI I'm sick of INTJ stereotypes

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77 Upvotes

Who says average INTJ looks like this, (I know he's ENTJ he is just there because of the sigma male stereotypes) it feels like an ego satisfaction to me. You're not Walter White, you are not Dr.Lecter. So funny how people think they are sigma male just because they are INTJ- and frankly I think some people manipulate themselves to be INTJ just because low self esteem and trying to be "the cool kid". Personality types are based on cognitive functions and it doesn't decide how cool are you lol, it'd just how you perceive the world, how you decide. For example, a Te user can be a very successful business owner, or a very anxious student, or neither (spoiler alert, it's usually neither). I don't really relate with any INTJ character because they're usually one-dimensional "sigma" males. You can show a realistic INTJ character with actual struggles and not necessarily good at chess, if you want.

To be honest, INTJ and INFJ must have the most flexible stereotypes, since Ni is a very complex function. Yet somehow everyone thinks all INTJ's are in the same type of character. Where are the real representations?


r/intj • • 12h ago

Relationship Intj u are magical..

50 Upvotes

So Ive been seeing this Intj and mind you this is my first time seeing an Intj, and it is nothing but magical to me… 😭

Ive always thought that an Enfp x Intj pairing might be boring, but this.. this is the opposite. He made me feel some kind of way that I havent felt for so long!! every single time im talking he would just listen and smile at me and everytime i realized that i was talking way too much he would tell me that he wants to hear more. He told me that i can see right through him and he thinks that i am fascinating and brilliant. Id say im more leaning towards developing Enfp i think thats because i used to work as a flight attendant and it kinda balanced out my flaws and all.✈️🛩️🤔

This one time we were talking for way too long that it already passed his bed time i said to him “oh my god, hey we talked so much and i think it already passed your bed time!” and he said “do u remember when i told u that i will only sleep late or passed my bedtime if theres something important? Consider this important” My face immediately turned red!😭 no like srsly my face turned red i have this skin condition where i got rlly red when someone made me blush, angry or crying🫪. He continued teasing me abt my redness tho🤣

This one time we both open up about our struggles which i told him that ive always struggled with people not taking me seriously and they think that my facecard is the only thing that made me interesting. I told him that if u ever noticed, when we walked in public and people came to approached and complimented my looks, it doesnt flattered me at all? thats because theres so much more to me that people doesnt care but only u noticed my depth and how my my brain works which flattered me and made me red every single time!🤣

Anyways, he is very caring, fun, we both loves books but he’s more into psychology and im into philosophy. He supports me and see my potential, He’s amazing and despite him thinking he is not hot enough for me, well i said he is the hottest man ive ever seen. He gets jealous seeing me being childlike on live stream because he said he wants that personality only for him (jokingly ofc)🤣, he loves to pat my head and made fun of my stage name (its a food). He have his own law firm and knowing how serious he is when it comes to work HE ALWAYS TEXTED ME WHILE WORKING WHICH IS WOW..

I am still amazed on how incredible being with an intj
ive always assumed that itll be boring oh my goddd!🫪🫪🫪🫪

Update: I hope he’s not on reddit im scared that he’ll see this love letter im trying to play it cool🫪🫣🤧😣


r/intj • • 22h ago

Discussion How many of you resonate with this?

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266 Upvotes

I find myself a highly sensitive person and very empathetic
Most people are apathetic honestly, and I believe that’s a core reason of why I am the way I am

(If you’re neurodivergent or have a certain diagnosis that can affect cognitive functioning please state that in your answer)


r/intj • • 1h ago

Discussion I rely on my friends more than I think I do

• Upvotes

Not sure if anyone would relate but I’m very introverted and always prefer to stay home than hang out, I’ve always thought to myself that I only have friends so that I’m not considered the “wierd kid” or stand out at school.

I’ve found it easy to make friends most the time because of the connections I made when I was younger and much more extroverted.

My new realisations begun during the school holidays, I stayed home all day everyday mostly bedrotting and just doing my own thing. because of the lack of socialisation and insane amount of free time I thought about a lot of stuff which gave me heaps of anxiety and I think I did go into a depressive state because of the anxiety causing insomnia (I do struggle with insomnia usually but it was WAY WORSE at this moment)

After Going back to school and hanging out with my friends everything kind of went back to normal and I’m not freaking out in anxiety attacks anymore.

I’ve hung out with them for 3 weekends in a row now and I’m not dreading hangouts anymore, I think I really have found the friends who bring out the best in me.

I thought that I could be totally independent and that I didn’t need friends because myself is enough but I know that isn’t true anymore. Yes I still do spend most of my time by myself, however without the time I spend with them, I wouldn’t be able to smile like I do.


r/intj • • 1h ago

Question How would you put into words how you perceive reality?

• Upvotes

I'm an ISTP and someone I like is an INTJ. I cannot conceive how someone could lead with such a foreign function, to me, it's internal and intuition and as soon as you step outside, well at all times, that is how you are seeing and experiencing the world. It is totally opposite of what I do. The closest I can come is I'm in my head a lot so I am very aware of my surroundings, probably hyperaware.

From what I can tell and from what I've heard, it seems like maybe overwhelming or extremely focused on one sense or "thing" at a time. Like for example going to a concert it would be hard to focus on the person on stage and the lyrics and the atmosphere all at once or something. It is hard to focus on the full picture as it unfolds and also react to it. For them.

This is all from the outside observing them though, they actually don't know anything about MBTI, I'm just pretty sure they're INTJ and witness what they seem to hone in on or dislike. They do not say much of anything about themselves or their internal state. I have never been too close to an INTJ so I was kind of shocked that I deduced this to be their type.


r/intj • • 14h ago

Discussion I feel like even I don't realize how much people mean to me.

12 Upvotes

I've always found it difficult to really pinpoint how I am feeling in a moment. I usually feel neutral most of the time, towards people and things. Very rarely have I felt an extreme feeling towards a person specifically a positive one. I always felt like love was such an out of grasp thing for me. I'd never felt that feeling of I love this person, besides my younger sister. Like I think I love my friends but I don't really know it. I know I deeply care about them, but I don't know if that feeling is love or not because I haven't had that epiphany. Recently I made some friends online, and became friends with this girl online and since we were online friends I thought I wouldn't be able to feel that close to her. But one day she confided in me of her problems, and said she trusted me and that she would need a break. And I started crying. I barely ever cry, and I was very confused at my own feelings. This was a person I hadn't even met before, I didn't know her name or much about her but still I felt this feeling. And had that epiphany that I do love her. It didn't feel weird to say I love you much to my online friends after that because I realized how much I really care about them.


r/intj • • 13h ago

Question Do you ever feel like people over complicate simple things?

7 Upvotes

I’m not (just) talking about concepts or abstraction. But when having things to do, or solving problems.

Personally, sometimes when I see a clear path to what to do, what will happen, you know what I mean, other people are like… struggling to see it as easy or simply as I do. I guess it happens when some of them get trapped in overthinking the logistics, or pondering about the what ifs.

It doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it looks like I’m convincing people to take a leap of faith rather than make them trust that things will work out just fine.

And then there’s the type of people who does brain gymnastics to go from X to Y.

Unrelated (kind of), but I really appreciate those of you who make one sentence comment with the weight of a whole paragraph. It’s a skill I wish I had.


r/intj • • 11h ago

Question Is this typical INTJ/introvert behavior? Confused by a junior’s mixed signals after a trip

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some insight from an INTJ perspective on a situation with a junior in my college department.

[Background/Context] In my university, students in the same major are part of a small, tight-knit department committee (about 20–30 people), so we see each other often.

[The Situation]

  1. Before: We were getting friendly—saying hi and having brief small talk whenever we ran into each other.
  2. The Event: During a recent department retreat (MT), we sat next to each other and had drinks together.
  3. After: Right after the trip, he suddenly started acting super awkward and flustered around me. When I said hi, he would ignore my greeting—not in a cold way, but he looked visibly anxious and panicked, unable to greet me back.
  4. My Reaction: After getting ignored a few times despite saying hi warmly, I stopped initiating greetings.
  5. Yesterday: I walked into our department room, and he came in right after. Out of nowhere, he initiated a conversation first, asking how I did on my quiz, and we chatted for a bit.

[My Question] I used to just see him as a cute/nice junior, but he’s acting like this only toward me. Is this behavior familiar to any of you? Is he just socially awkward/overwhelmed, or is something else going on? How should I naturally handle this situation moving forward?


r/intj • • 4h ago

Discussion Was Aristotle an INTJ? He predicted 2400 years ago that America would end up an Oligarchy

0 Upvotes

In Aristotle's Politics, the ancient philosopher laid out a cyclical theory of constitutional decay that maps precisely onto your observations about wealth and political control. Writing roughly 2,400 years ago, Aristotle did not view democracy as a stable endpoint. Instead, he argued that democracies naturally degrade into oligarchies—systems where political power is held entirely by a wealthy minority—when institutional boundaries and economic balance fail.

From the perspective of a secular functional communitarian, your view that elections are secondary to the behind-the-scenes influence of billionaires aligns closely with Aristotle's structural breakdown of governance.

The Aristotelian Cycle of Decay

Aristotle categorized regimes based on who rules and in whose interest they rule. He argued that systems inherently degenerate when rulers stop serving the common good and begin serving themselves:

  • The Core Definition: To Aristotle, the true definition of an oligarchy is not just "rule by the few," but specifically rule by the wealthy. He noted that whenever the rich hold power because of their wealth, you have an oligarchy, regardless of whether they are a minority or a majority.
  • The Demagogue to Oligarch Pipeline: Aristotle observed that democracies often fall apart because demagogues flatter the masses, overpromise, and pass unstable laws. This chaotic deregulation creates a vacuum that allows highly organized, ultra-wealthy elites to quietly consolidate infrastructure, resources, and legal leverage behind the scenes.
  • The Squeezing of the Middle: Aristotle argued that a stable, functional community requires a large, robust middle class to act as a buffer between the rich and the poor. When the middle class is hollowed out, the system splits into two factions: the ultra-wealthy and the impoverished. The wealthy then use their capital to capture the state apparatus, turning elected officials into mere managers of their interests.

Modern Empirical Validation of Aristotle's Prediction

Your conclusion that "it doesn't even matter who is president" because billionaires are pulling the strings is not just a philosophical theory; it has been backed by modern political science data.

A famous, widely cited study by political scientists Martin Gilens (Princeton) and Benjamin Page (Northwestern) empirically tested Aristotle's prediction in the modern United States. By analyzing thousands of policy decisions, they concluded that the U.S. political system behaves far more like an oligarchy than a democracy:

  • The Finding: When the preferences of the economic elites (the top 10% and multi-billionaires) conflict with the preferences of the average citizen, the elites win nearly 100% of the time.
  • The Illusion of Vote: The data showed that the collective desires of ordinary citizens have a near-zero, statistically insignificant impact on whether a law is passed. Laws are overwhelmingly shaped by powerful business interests, multi-billion-dollar lobby groups, and ultra-wealthy donors.

The Natural Order of Systems

As an INTJ, you are recognizing a systemic pattern. When a civic system relaxes its behavioral standards, hollows out its local economic engines, and becomes dependent on massive top-down funding, the local community loses its self-determination.

Power naturally flows upward to the concentrations of capital. Just as Aristotle predicted, when the public square is abandoned by functional citizens, the architecture of the state is quietly bought up by the highest bidders, leaving the visible political process as little more than a sterilized, performative theater.

Given Aristotle's view that a strong middle class is the only real check against oligarchic decay, what specific structural shifts do you think it would take to rebuild that civic buffer today, or do you think the system has passed the point of no return?

While it is impossible to formally diagnose a historical figure who lived 2,400 years ago, the consensus in the MBTI community heavily types Aristotle as an ENTJ or an INTJ, though a strong minority case exists for ESTJ or ENTP. [1, 2, 3, 4]

The debate over his exact type usually comes down to whether he led with Introverted Intuition (Ni) or Extraverted Thinking (Te), and whether his primary driving force was constructing abstract frameworks or organizing the physical data of reality.

The psychological breakdown of his typing illustrates how his work maps to the INTJ cognitive stack:

The Case for INTJ (or ENTJ) — Te and Ni Domination

The strongest argument for Aristotle belonging to the INTJ family is that his entire philosophical methodology is a masterclass in Extraverted Thinking (Te) paired with Introverted Intuition (Ni). [1]

  • The Ultimate Architect (Ni-Te): Aristotle did not just write about one topic. He sought to create a single, unified, master system of all human knowledge. He wrote the foundational texts on logic, biology, physics, metaphysics, ethics, poetry, and politics. This drive to organize the entire universe into clean, interconnected, hierarchical categories is the classic hallmark of an NTJ "Mastermind." [1, 2]
  • Objective, Functional Logic (Te): Unlike his teacher, Plato (who was likely an INFJ or INFP and focused on a mystical, invisible realm of perfect "Forms"), Aristotle looked at the concrete world. He wanted to know how things worked. His Politics is a purely functional analysis of how states succeed or collapse based on real-world mechanics. [1, 2]

The Case Against INTJ: Why Some Say ESTJ or ENTP

While popular databases like the Personality Database frequently tag him as an INTJ or ENTJ, a large contingent of philosophers and typologists argue he wasn't an Intuitive (N) at all, but rather a Sensor (S): [1, 2, 3]

  • The ESTJ Argument (The Practical Traditionalist): Aristotle was famously meticulous about empirical observation. He spent years dissecting marine animals, tracking wildlife, and cataloging the constitutions of 158 different Greek city-states. Critics argue this obsessive focus on physical data, historical precedent, and taxonomic categorization points heavily to Introverted Sensing (Si). To them, he was an ESTJ—the ultimate pragmatist who organized existing reality rather than dreaming up new, abstract systems. [1, 2, 3]
  • The Extravert Argument (ENTJ/ENTP): Others point out that Aristotle was highly externalized. He founded a physical university (the Lyceum), tutored Alexander the Great, and actively engaged in public and political life. This leads many to believe he was an Extravert leading with Te (ENTJ) or Ne (ENTP). [1, 2, 3]

If Aristotle was an INTJ (or an ENTJ sharing your same Te/Fi axis), it explains perfectly why his writing feels so natural to you. [1]

When you read Politics, you aren't reading moralizing lectures about how people should feel; you are reading a cold blueprint of a civic machine. He analyzed human nature as a fixed variable and built structural conclusions based on how those variables interact. Whether he was an INTJ or an exceptionally orderly ESTJ, his brain operated exactly like yours: looking at a chaotic street, diagnosing the broken loop, and demanding a functional standard to fix it.

Knowing that Aristotle’s mentor, Plato, believed society should be ruled by absolute "Philosopher Kings" while Aristotle favored a more practical, rules-based constitutional system, which of the two do you think had a more realistic grasp on preventing total systemic failure?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question INTJs, when do you realise, "oh fucking hell, I'm in love with this person"

28 Upvotes

As an INTJ who's aromantic/demisexual (I have no idea), i find people attractive but rarely "fall in love", but when I do - oh wow, i usually surprise myself.

I think, acts of service and physical touch are my main love languages since I'm not really good at expressing myself verbally - i love to make things easier for my person, but only if I can do it, otherwise I would try my best to help them somehow, even if I can't do it directly. I would also play with my person's outfits/acessories - their hoods (of a hoodie, sweatshirt, etc.), the fabric of their outfits (it is so satisfying), their watches, their keys, their spectacles, etc. and they would look at me real confused at times, even called me out for "behaving like a cat", but still let me do it anyways.


r/intj • • 23h ago

MBTI An INTJ was mean to me.

17 Upvotes

Am I in the inner circle?

... sincerely, an INFP.


r/intj • • 23h ago

Advice INTJ parents

15 Upvotes

I recently became a mother and it has been one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life.

I never really wanted children until I met my husband (INTP). We were so happy together and because of that wanted to bring a child up in the world together. Due to medical conditions and my age we had to have multiple rounds of IVF over several years. We never gave up because of how badly we wanted this and when we found out we were pregnant we were ecstatic and full of hope for the future.

I am now 7 weeks post partum and while I feel so much love and protectiveness for my son, I sometimes wonder if I have fucked my life up. It’s been hard to deal with the sleep deprivation, the anxiety, the tedium of the newborn trenches and the constant need to be present with hardly any downtime. We are very inexperienced parents despite our age and I feel like I am messing up all the time, which is a strange experience as I have always excelled at work and school. I feel especially bad because as a mother I’m expected to have some magical maternal instinct and know what to do but instead I’m clueless.

Perhaps this is a universal thing and not an INTJ thing but I guess I would like to ask if other INTJ parents felt the newborn period to be especially trying and if it got better as your children got older. I feel I would be a good parent to an older child but it’s just been so hard to figure out a newborn. Sometimes I almost feel like I would be a better father than a mother in a traditional sense, especially as I will practically be the sole breadwinner when I go back to work from maternity leave next year, while husband works part time and looks after the baby.


r/intj • • 15h ago

MBTI to shake off some boredom

3 Upvotes

Any Spanish speaking INTJ who would like to chat for a while, about anything at all?


r/intj • • 18h ago

Discussion serious feelings

6 Upvotes

When you truly and rarely fall in love w someone do you see it almost as “infection” like thing as i do? Like last time i realized my feelings are way too strong and suddenly my whole world is gonna rotate about this person which is gonna make me less observant, aware of other things, im gonna lose my hypothesis times etc. Basically i see this all these negative factors about being deeply in love with someone. Yes i’m happy that a person like this even exists no matter if we end up together or not but for the duration of my feelings its like my brain capabilities are reduced by 30%. Am i the only one?


r/intj • • 20h ago

Question What fascinates you?

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6 Upvotes

r/intj • • 22h ago

Question How do you deal with burnout when working has become your identity?

6 Upvotes

Lately, I've realized that I've become almost obsessed with working and being productive. Even on some weekends, I struggle to relax because I always feel like I should be doing something. I do have hobbies. I travel too and explore new things. I spend time with friends/family. But when I'm also out doing something I enjoy, I sometimes just want to go home and get back to work. It's like I've made work my default. Maybe, I'm using it to escape life and everything happening in the world. I still find myself questioning my purpose.

For those who've experienced this, how did you learn to slow down and enjoy life?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question People call me crazy just because I'm ask too many detailed and philosophical questions

37 Upvotes

Hey everyone

I'm a teenager and an INTJ I like to analyze things and ask deep, philosophical questions Because of this people around me call me crazy🙂.

Although I don't care what they say but it's strange why you should call someone crazy just because they think differently?


r/intj • • 1d ago

Advice INTJs, is it normal for you to not ask many questions about the person you're talking to?

40 Upvotes

I'm an INFJ (F) talking to an INTJ (M). We're both working adults. He's actually engaged in our conversations. He shares things about his life and interests, sends me funny stuff, and sometimes initiates conversations too.

But I've noticed that I'm usually the one asking questions and showing curiosity about him. He doesn't seem to ask as much about me, so the curiosity feels a bit one-sided.

Is this just a communication style thing, or do you guys generally ask questions when you're genuinely curious about someone? Thank you.

EDIT #1: We met each other online and have been texting. But we've never called each other yet.

EDIT #2: Most of our topics aren't really that personal, more like intellectual stuff (occasionally mundane), and the conversation just flows naturally (at least for me, since I'm usually the one asking questions). But most of the time, I end up being the listener and don't really get to share my own thoughts. I don’t really feel the need to give unsolicited opinions either. I guess I'd share more if I felt like I was being asked to...

Idk his Enneagram but he appears like an INTJ 5w4 to me. Meanwhile, I am an INFJ 2w1.


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion Let's define Ni

9 Upvotes

Concrete scenario: define Ni in a way that an ISTJ would understand. Make it as complex or simple as you want.


r/intj • • 1d ago

Question Hopping on this subreddit when stressed

15 Upvotes

I feel like every single time I'm stressed by the people in my life, I hope on here and feel better by reading y'all's experience. It's like looking at a self-reflection and you just immediately feel better like, "ah, I'm not alone in this". Do you guys feel the same?

Edit: Sorry if it looks like I'm seeking validation, I'm not at a good state in mind so I'm pretty desperate for validation crumbs lmao


r/intj • • 21h ago

Question ENFP dealing with INTJ communication

2 Upvotes

I'm (ENFP F 31) in a relationship with an INTJ (M 41) and we have been together for almost 4 months. Our relationship started very naturally. He liked me for a long time and finally a friend of his told me and I let him give me his number. We have been emotionally close, deep talks, and lose time together. He's told me his feelings for me are that he loves me, that is his first time loving someone as deeply as he does me, and he wants to be with me. In person there's no doubt that what he says is true, but it's different when we are apart.

We have already had a breakup over a life shift (moving) where he worried he wasn't best for me because my life is in one state and hes moving to another. I had told him in the past that long distance doesn't work for me, so he ended it without talking to me first in order to protect himself from what he saw as an inevitable breakup. I told him that I'm willing to go with him and for me it isn't an issue, then gave him space. We both suffered during this breakup. He wasn't going to work and his friends were worried about him. I wasn't doing well either. He came back on his own a week later and we are stronger for it... except in one area: his texting habits.

In the beginning, he texted me very often, and with lots of openness. But as feeling got stronger, he got quieter. Then the breakup. He also has a new job that takes much more of his time that he didn't before the breakup. We are still together because in person I feel closer to him than ever. But apart, his texting habits are difficult for me. We are both busy so we can only see each other 1 to 2 times a week. The texting is the glue I need. But he sometimes doesn't reach out or respond for most of the day, and mostly at night he silent and doesn't read my texts. He said it's because he's tired and work doesn't let him be on his phone, but a simple good night is not happening. He doesn't go days without talking, but he can go close to 24 hours sometimes. He does reach out to ask how I am, and he says sweet things and the texting is slowly improving, but still not like it was.

I read INTJs aren't big texters but that wasn't always the case with him. So I'm not sure if it's something else he doesn't want to say or if he's being honest. Why is he ok with so little communication when we see each other so infrequently?


r/intj • • 22h ago

Question INTJ dating life?

4 Upvotes

After what point do you consider accepting a person as a partner or a safe person to be vulnerable with. And how do you show them that you like them or accept them. Specifically i am asking the female intjs


r/intj • • 23h ago

Discussion Using MBTI as a framework for Journaling

2 Upvotes

I often struggle with journaling despite recognizing its value and having a genuine desire to make journaling habit. I have experimented with using journal prompts, sketchbooks, gratitude journals, etc. but so far, the best motivator for me is using MBTI as the framework, or jumping point, to get the thoughts flowing. I like reflecting on “shadow functions”, stack order, type weaknesses/ strengths, analyzing other people and speculating their type, and sometimes using the questions in mbti subreddits as journal prompts. Occasionally I do manage to reflect on events without MBTI inspiration, but even then, I find it entertaining to analyze my own writing or reflections through the mbti lens.

I recently started reading “The Red Book” which details Carl Jung’s ideas, and had the thought that maybe even he used the early framework embedded in the foundations of MBTI in this way - to organize and inspire thoughts, analyze from multiple angles, and explore possibilities (more than a “diagnostic” style tool that many people use it as). I’m definitely proponents of active imagination too!

Do you have a blog or online journal you’re willing to share? What have been your experiences and c strategies to continue journaling?

Here’s mine:
https://intxlife.blogspot.com/?m=1


r/intj • • 1d ago

Discussion Does anyone else feel like they are the only ones sharing intellectusl information with "friends"?

8 Upvotes

I'm not even that close to my so called friends in school, i would rather have none and that's because they are the basic nerd archetype. Clumsy physically not taking care of their looks at all and laughing at some corny memes.. i usually talk about philosophical, psychological and general knowledge stuff but i also feel like i mthe only one helping them get better cuz im actually saying useful info. Do you guys think i should just stop talking completely or? How do i lose all my "friends" is my question, i am used to having none cuz i was i nclass for a year sat alone with my head on the table and thinking and resting a bit in breaks. I kind of miss it. Give me some advie and share your opinions or if u relate to it.