For the past year and a half, I’ve gradually moved from struggling to accept the idea of questioning my gender to genuinely imagining a different life for myself, one where I transition and live as a woman. The more I explore that possibility, the more I feel that I might be happier living that life than the one I have now.

Interestingly, I’ve been out of relationships throughout this entire period of questioning, and that has made me realize something about myself.

When I’m alone and don’t have anyone on my mind romantically, my thoughts are almost entirely focused on questioning my gender, imagining myself as a woman, and wondering what my life would be like if I transitioned.

The only recent exception was when I met a girl I genuinely liked. Suddenly, my mind started wandering away from those thoughts because I was thinking about her and imagining a possible future with her. Obviously, I assumed she would be interested in me as a guy, and for once, I found myself thinking beyond my usual questioning.

Now, that has left me even more confused.

Does this mean that I’m holding on to my identity as a guy because of other people and their expectations, and that I need someone in my life to keep me in that role? Or does it mean that these past year and a half of questioning, imagining myself as a woman, and wondering whether I would be happier transitioning are nothing more than thoughts I’ve somehow created in my own mind?

I genuinely don’t know what to make of this, and I’m struggling to understand what it says about me and my gender identity.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about gender, the life I’ve lived so far, and the choices I might want to make in the future.

One thing I’ve been questioning is why certain choices are considered a problem by society in the first place. For example, why should it be a problem if someone who was raised as a boy wants to embrace their feminine side or make choices that are traditionally considered feminine? What’s inherently wrong with that? I genuinely don’t understand why society makes it such a big deal.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it would actually feel like to experience life differently and how much of my life I might want to change. I’ve never been particularly interested in many traditionally masculine things. At the same time, because of the way I was raised and the social expectations I grew up with, I’ve never really allowed myself to explore certain feminine things, even when I wanted to.

Now, I find myself wondering: What if I could make those choices freely? What if I didn’t have to worry about how society would react? What would my life look like if I could simply be myself without constantly thinking about other people’s expectations?

I still find myself making traditionally masculine choices in some aspects of my life, and that’s okay. But I sometimes wonder whether I’m making those choices because they’re genuinely what I want or because I’ve grown accustomed to living a certain way.

The more I think about these things, the more I question how I want to live the rest of my life. Sometimes, I imagine embracing femininity much more fully, possibly even transitioning completely. And honestly, there’s a part of me that really likes the idea.

I’m 25 now, and as an adult, I feel like I’m capable of thinking about what I want for myself and making decisions about my own life. I can imagine transitioning, including undergoing SRS someday, and fully embracing that life. When I think about it, it feels like something I could genuinely want for myself.

What I struggle to understand is why something that feels like a personal decision can become such a huge problem in society.

Why is it so difficult for people to accept that an adult can make these decisions about their own life and still live a happy, fulfilling life? Why does something like gender transition have to be surrounded by so much fear, judgment, and controversy?

I don’t hate the 25 years I’ve lived so far. Not at all. Those years have shaped me into the person I am today, and I appreciate the experiences I’ve had. I grew up in a fairly traditional and conservative society, and the person I’ve become is a result of that journey. I don’t regret my past.

But I wish the choices I might want to make about my future could be treated as something simple and ordinary. I wish exploring my gender, embracing my femininity, or deciding to transition didn’t have to feel like such a complicated and frightening thing.

Imagine if people didn’t have to live in fear of being judged or hated for being transgender. Imagine if transitioning were treated as a normal, personal decision rather than something people automatically viewed with fear or hostility.

I genuinely believe that society has much bigger problems to worry about. If we focused more of our attention on those problems and worked together to solve them, why should someone’s gender identity or decision to transition be treated as such a major issue?
To me, being transgender, exploring your identity, and making choices about how you want to live should be things that society can accept as normal parts of human life.

I don’t have all the answers, and I’m still questioning and figuring things out for myself. But I wish we lived in a world where people could explore who they are, make decisions about their own lives, and pursue happiness without having to fight so hard for something that should be a basic part of being human.

tl;dr: some personal advice I picked up on transness after being a trans man for half a decade, now, including...

- trans femmes, body hair is okay, and acceptance is largely based on location and population...not you yourself and immutable traits.

- all trans ppl, it's okay not to have surgery right away, or ever.

- it's okay not to have an updated ID, whether that be for safety reasons or for practical reasons like you couldn't get to it somehow (recently someone said to me "your name was TAKEN FROM YOU," and that hit very hard).

- some parents or guardians or role models are progressive outwardly but not when it comes to their own children! make sure you explore yo and it's okay if your experience wasn't "my parents didn't accept me" or "my parents lovingly accept me," but somewhere in-between and changes a lot even.

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Hi guys. I I'm a trans man, with very dark, course, kinky, curly hair. and a LOT of it. Even before I transitioned starting at age 22. and I'm 26 now, and due to being disabled and living in a very rural state AND lacking physical family support I still haven't gotten to have any surgeries yet, despite having very large breasts, especially for my size (roughly 5'9, 170-180). and I'm so rural I'm over 3 hours from anywhere I could possibly get paperwork done, and I don't wanna mess up my SSI paperwork, medicaid, or SNAP, either. so I haven't been able to change my name. and it's cost me while being spoken to by the cops (to no fault of my own), and also while visiting my own small-town bank (being rejected while attempting to take out my monthly rent, because they didn't "trust" that I was the same person as the one on my ID, since it's a pre-transition photo, because the photo place is also 3+ hours away, and I don't want a mixed-gender obviously-trans form of ID).

I'm posting this for A FEW reasons.

One... IT'S OKAY TO HAVE SURGERY ON YOUR OWN TIME, OR NOT AT ALL.

Two... IT'S OKAY TO HAVE AN ID THAT DOES NOT MATCH YOUR CHOSEN NAME, CURRENT TRANSITION PROGRESS, AND/OR GENDER MARKER (especially since gender marker is largely impossible if you live in the US like I do, now-- and many other countries are the same)!

Three... FOR TRANS WOMEN AND GIRLS AND FEMMES-- I LOVE YOU, WE ALL LOVE YOU, GO GET 'EM! AND IT'S TOTALLY ALRIGHT TO HAVE HAIR ALL OVER YOUR BODY! FOR SOME OF US, LIKE ME WITH HS, WE PHYSICALLY CANNOT SHAVE OR WAX OR ANYTHING WITHOUT IT HURTING, AND LIGHT THERAPY IS TOO EXPENSIVE!

when I was still identifying our body (we are plural, technically none of us align with our body exactly) as female, our hair was so bothersome it made us doubt our femininity, despite our body having such a perfectly feminine face, figure, and bosom, with small hands and feet to match. though we were a very, very late bloomer for our chest! and you might be, too. eating helped a LOT. once we got out of a neglectful household and began to eat, they grew like melons haha! now I wish they had not, but at the time I thought it would magically make me a woman... heh. who knew I was technically supposed to be born feeling I aligned as one???

SOME OF US GROW UP IN HOUSEHOLDS THAT, EVEN IF OUR SO-CALLED "ROLE MODELS" SHOW PITY FOR OTHER TRANS ADULTS OR CHILDREN, WE OURSELVES ARE NEVER, EVER EVEN SUPPOSED TO ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT. WE ARE MEANT TO BE "NORMAL." WE MUST SCOFF AT THE ABNORMAL, AND MOVE ALONG. "FIRE IS HOT, DO NOT TOUCH!"

I THOUGHT I WAS SMART NOT TO TOUCH THE FIRE, BUT I NEVER GOT TO UNDERSTAND HOW I TRULY FELT, UNTIL AFTER I LEFT THE HOUSE. I WAS ALREADY ALONE, SAVE FOR MY PRECIOUS CAT. MANY OF US LOVE ANIMALS, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT JUDGE (not like that, anyways).

I had hair on my legs from top to bottom, my feet, toes, fingers, hands, a happy trail, my chest, my back, my butt, a big huge plume around my pubic area, full of course curls like a black beard, and of course on my arms, neck, head, sideburns, and shoulders as well. and between the brows! all very, very dark. even when it was shaved, it still was very apparent there had been something there, as you could see the shadow and the little round holes.

but boys who were not racist still found me very attractive. they sought after me. when I lived in a more accepting state they were all over me. when I moved more rural to somewhere nearly all-white, no one basically even wanted to be my friend.

IF YOU LIVE SOMEWHERE VERY RURAL, OR VERY WHITE, OR VERY RELIGIOUS, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE... YOU MIGHT NOTICE NOBODY WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU, NO MATTER HOW HOT YOU ARE!

IT'S.

NOT.

YOUR.

FAULT!!!!

Got it?

Good.

(ps: sorry if it sucks or breaks a rule but a lotta people seem to hate my posts so take it or leave it but I'd rather post and help one person than not post and risk not helping anyone!)

It’s been a long journey, but I’ve finally come to the point where I genuinely believe I might be questioning my gender identity and expression.

I’m 25 now, and I’m not exactly sure when these thoughts first started. However, it was about a year and a half ago that I began to truly accept that it was okay to question my gender in the first place. Back then, even allowing myself to think about it was difficult. I kept wondering whether it was okay to have these thoughts at all.

I already knew that transgender people existed, and somewhere along the way, I also started watching TikTok, YouTube, Insta reels even adult videos featuring trans people. But at the time, I was so convinced that I would never question my own gender. The most I could imagine was being open to having a transgender life partner. I never thought these questions would become so personal to me.

But things are completely different now. I find myself imagining an entirely different life, one where I transition or somehow get to live as a woman. And the more I imagine that possibility, the more I feel that I might be happier living that life than the one I’m living now.

Your post about your feelings. Believe it or not, it's not as uncommon as you think it is, and it applies to all ages of people who have considered themselves trans.

For the record, I'm a trans woman who has been out and active politically for almost 40 years. I had a friend for a few decades, a trans woman, who was very successful in their transition. Long curly red hair, slender figure, they were even a cheerleader for an NFL football team for about 6 or 7 years. This went on for about 28 years, until they came to me one day and asked me what I would say if they told me that they didn't feel like they were a trans woman anymore and wanted to detransition. I couldn't think of a reason why that would bother me unless they came to despise trans people. Unfortunately, sometime down the road they found religion and then they did start to despise trans people. And that's where our friendship ended. But it was only because of their ideological beliefs.

At the same time, I want you to know that I have friends of longstanding, women friends, who are not little tiny slips of a thing. They are what some would call sturdy but that doesn't mean they're not feminine. But sometimes people mistake them for an older person transitioning because they don't look traditionally female and they don't go out of their way to do that.

In my own case, I've never gone to Great lengths to be particularly feminine and I kind of consider myself a bohemian hippie - even later in my life. But I carry myself well and I very rarely get misgendered and I'm very happy about that. But I'm also very happy that I transitioned and I've never questioned it.

So be assured that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way and it doesn't mean you were wrong; it's actually admirable that you faced your reality and have the strength to make decisions on what's best for you and what's right for you instead of whatever anyone else might think. That's part of being your authentic self - being honest and true to yourself.

Whatever you end up deciding to do good luck to you and I wish you a happy life and much balance

Please offer your own experiences and ask any questions in order to help others. I, for whatever reason don’t see posts of people talking about where and how they got GAC only passing comments of people not being able to.

I was on state insurance at the time through John’s Hopkins which is in my state. I’m very lucky to be with them and University of Maryland; I didn’t realize how far people travel for these hospitals. After spending over 6 months just waiting for a call from PP, not to get hormones but just to see if they’d even talk to me, I moved on to different options. I landed on a clinic an hour from me and called them after weeks of worked up courage. I didn’t expect it in the slightest but the call lasted 15 minutes and I was agog when she gave me dates and they weren’t 6+ months away with risk of cancellation; it was 2 WEEKS AWAY!!!! I hung up and jumped around like crazy, squealing and giggling, running to tell my little sister when I picked her up from the bus stop. I had an hour consultation appointment where she understood my goals and desires and asked me questions before explaining how all this works and asking me to sign. She then sent in the prescription and we made our next appointment. It shipped to my pharmacy over the weekend and I picked it up. I will remember those moments forever.

Same will go for top surgery. I’ll locate the best surgeon in my area, get the needed information, have my consultation and book the surgery which is covered by insurance as I have proof I’m trans.

Am I confused and this is a common experience that I’m misunderstanding or was this helpful?

I honestly feel like a look more like a girl with short hair

Hey, I (20 mtf) have come out not a long time ago and have been trying my best to pass as my experienced gender, but I also really like working out and fighting and have been doing it for my whole life, to the point where I'm just kinda big. Does anyone have any tips to deal with that?

Hey all. Ever since I've basically been exploring my gender identity, questioning, and experimenting with gender expression and deduced that I'm pretty sure that I'm Trans gender, I've been active in various subreddits.

I've come across people in various Trans-related subreddits that were very nice. However, upon further talking with them.. Kind of seem extremely clingy, almost to the point of un-hinged.

I mean, it's cool and all to connect with other Trans, Enby and Gender-diverse peeps, but I'm married, have my life to live, and don't particularly want to conversate with somebody on Reddit at every single hour of the day.

I've had to block people in the past because they came off as extremely clingy and basically would not stop messaging me. Also, some of the people I've talked to I feel have had deep emotional issues, which may have added to the "cling" factor. But still...

Am I horrible for feeling this way?

I am stuck in a situation where I will be reliant on transphobic family for a long time.

I could get on HRT, but I'm worried they'll notice physical changes and I'll be in danger.

What should I do?

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5y47yrrld0o

Sou casado a 14 anos e tenho 58 anos de idade, minha mulher não aceita que eu faça a th por causa da família , amigos , religião e por ela mesmo que é hétero e não se vê casada com outra mulher. Me sinto em um beco sem saída😞

How do you all do it? Posting pictures of yourselves all the time? You're all so beautiful. I feel like I don't fit in in any trans space online, especially ones like this. Compared to all of you, I am a hideous monster. Even the people at pride events I can physically go to avoid me like the plague, I'm too quiet and shy and damaged to be approached, combine that with how ugly I am and I suppose it makes sense why no one likes me.

All of the subs I felt like I belonged in are full of bigots now. Why does it gotta be so hard just to find friends? Is there *anywhere* safe to go on here where we can just exist without being hated?

I need to come out as trans fem for my own mental wellbeing because I have GAD(Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and my brain is very nervous

TLDR at end. I apologize for the repost, I'd just appreciate as much advice as possible ):

I came out as genderqueer at 12, I've been out as fully transmale since 14. My dad has always been "accepting" of the fact I'm queer. He calls me my preferred name to my face and "they" or occasionally "he" when I'm around. ("He" started since I've begun talking occasionally about trans things around him the last few months.)

But several months ago, my mom (split parents) told me he still calls me my deadname & "she" when I'm not around and to others, including my FULLY accepting mother. I finally saw it to my face the other day while we were out getting food, he referred to me as a girl to the server.

If it was just to family who I'm not out to, or isn't accepting, then I wouldn't care. But to complete strangers, even when I'm not there, and to people who fully accept me, jesus it hurts more than I'd expect.

I'm not comfortable even with gender neutral things but I put up with them because it seems easier for people. I always just allow myself to be misgendered, I have a really hard time correcting people. With strangers and non-accepting family it doesn't hurt my feelings, I know I don't pass. That's why I don't put in the effort to correct (& I live in the south). But from my own father, who SAYS he's accepting, says he's a queer ally and even goes to queer inclusive events occasionally, it hurts a lot more. He tells people he has a trans child as if he's proud, but has never seen me as anything but his daughter.

I'm 17 currently, 18 in October. I'm supposed to start T as soon as possible after. I already have a very androgynous appearance and am hopeful that within my first year of T I'll be pushed more towards looking & sounding male.

I need to have a conversation with my dad. It's hard to find the words. Hard to find the courage. A big part of me just wants to ignore it til I'm far enough in medical transition that he's forced to fully accept it essentially. Or to just start talking more frequently about trans related things to try to get him to see how it hurts and I feel without having a sit-down conversation about his misgendering.

I love my dad, but there's already some distance between us because of how he was in the past. I don't want this to create any more of a rift between us. I know I just need to talk to him. But I'm so avoidant it's so hard, I'd rather just ignore it in my constant disassociation and cry once a week over it than sit him down to talk.

TLDR; My father says to my face that he's accepting, calls me preferred or gender neutral things when I'm around. But misgenders me when I'm not there or in public. Advice on how to talk to him about it, or to bring these things up in conversation in a non-confrontational way. Or anyone else's personal experiences if similar

lowkey weve all fantasized about that right or am i crazy lmao i havent talked to the doc yet but I saw it in the portal on the lab tech notes, hella tumors on something ive always wanted removed!!!!! (and cysts on a related unwanted organ that are bigger than the organ itself lmao maybe i can get em both out)

TW primary commenter is gaslighting non binary people by attempting to pretend Buck's previous good deeds somehow make his current extremism irrelevant.

Source: Grayson V Fitness - The History of Trans Men is Beautiful...

See his latest video on trans men history. Nbs have commented on the wider video supporting Grayson, and as you can see people have attempted to inform Grayson on Buck's behaviour of the last few years. Over a week, no removal, no edit, no addressing the situation. Nothing.

This video has less than 10k views and even less will of seen this so I thought I'd simply show it. Grayson benefitted from our community by initially coming out as non binary until he passed for a man. Now he has left us in the weeds regarding the largest transphobic trans man who has done very extreme things recently including sharing an AI nude image of Samantha Lux.

I am tired and disappointed of binary passing trans people throwing us under the bus, whether it is outright enby exclusion or endorsement of people who do that.

I am amab 25

First started watching trans fem with cis fem
Then trans fem bottom with cis men
Then trans fem and cis men switch
Then trans fem top with cis men
Then trans fem post op with cis men

All the time I thought I wanted the cis men experience until I realized I was more wanting about the female experience - Is it just fantasy or is it because I am trans
Or did I convinced myself to it like hypnotizing myself