I’m not really into tight pants but wanted to change up my wardrobe with some boot cut jeans. These are my normal size waist paints, but why do they buckle at the base of my butt like this? Is my butt not big enough to fill the pants? Poor cut for my body? I can pull them up super tight eliminating the buckling but it goes right back. I can’t figure it out and don’t like the look. They are super stretchy Levi pants idk if that makes a difference. Waist seems spot on too.

I'm in my late 20s and my social circle has become a bit stale. They've always been introverted, so am I, but now they'd rather stay at home doing puzzles, stay in with their bfs, spend the day with their parents or walk their dogs at 7 am. When we do see eachother its more of a catching up over a one hour coffee kind of deal, before they look at their watches and gasp "Oh my 7 pm how late!" and run back home (mind you we are in a european village, everything is walking distance and nobody has kids or a full time job).

I've always feared this would happen. I don't want kids so I can't really imagine how much worse its going to get and how much of an outcast I'll become.

I keep searching around reddit for answers but people are pretty mean about it. "People's priorities change thats just life, do stuff by yourself". Imagine if the life 99% of people lived didn't appeal to you at all and everyone just told you its how it goes and to be happy alone, I really don't think that's natural.

I think the worst part is that I don't even like hanging out anymore because I get bored when we do. I will genuinely tune out during some conversations, which is so rude on my behalf ik. Its just... most of them are school/work recaps that they repeat as each new person joins the coffee table.

People have gotten angry at me for hanging out individually with other people without telling them about "the plan" even though when I do they're always too busy, which is also very interesting.

As for new friend making... I go to bass guitar lessons, I've taken sailing classes, I study, I have a part time job, I go to painting classes and I volunteer for environmental causes. I've managed to make new friends at all these places but I can never maintain them because they usually live like 2 hours away. There aren't a lot of events since I live in a literal village, the nearest city is kinda small as well. I wonder if maybe moving would be the solution or if that's too much of a stereotype, I have family in NYC.

I made a post not too long ago about struggling with body insecurity due to being sa’d in the past. it’s been a battle with my loving and hating my body. today I see my body in such a different light after making a couple of portraits. drawing is also one of my hobbies and I havent had the chance to sit down and draw because of college and im really impressed with myself. I’m passing this tip to anyone who’s struggling with their body and needs some sort of reminder and relief. this really relieved me. :) I never thought I would draw myself one day and using actual photos as references. It feels accurate to especially trying to draw cellulite and stretchmarks :p

I got these shoes very recently that I really love, but the edge of the heel (I don't know the actual name, but it's circled in blue) keeps digging into the back of my feet.

I can't return them because I can't find the receipt, but even if I did, I'd rather not cause they're really cute.

Does anyone have any recommendations on how to deal with it permanently? I've heard of heel cushion pads, but I don't want to get one and then be disappointed because they don't work and it would be a waste of money.

Anyone got specifications of heel cushion pads or anything like that?

I tried wearing bandaids in combination with long fluffy socks, and they worked, but that'll mean I have to keep getting bandaids forever, and the bandaids can get uncomfortable.

Please help 🙏🏾

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but hoping some of you will relate. My life feels so stagnant right now, and I am so bored.

I go to work and it’s all the same people complaining about the same things. I go out with friends and we go to the same places and talk about the same things. I go to my favorite bar and it’s the same people telling the same stories. I am sooo beyond bored.

What are some ways to spice up my life again? Thank you 🙏🏻

I like to wear long floral dresses and skirts, kind of a cottagecore/“little house on the prairie” type style. It’s never been a problem before because I lived in a place where this wasn’t unusual, but I just moved to Colorado where everyone is wearing casual athletic gear 24/7, and now I stick out like a sore thumb. The way people look at me lately is really making me self-conscious. You’d think I was wearing a full clown costume the way people react to my outfits. I get a real “who does she think she is” vibe from people whenever I leave the house now. So I’m finding myself dressing more casual out of fear of standing out. I’m crashing out in my closet every time I have to go anywhere because I really don’t want to be perceived as trying to draw attention to myself, but casual clothes just don’t feel like me, so I never know what to wear. Maybe this seems silly if you’re a naturally confident person, but I’m not and I never like to stand out too much. How do you become more comfortable embracing your personal style when it’s not the norm in your general area?

for context i go to a uni thats around 7ish hours away from my hometown and im going to and from using a bus. But when i booked the ticket to go back to uni its the only ticket sold and im very worried for my safety

i searched online to find tips but its usually for short tern rides (public transport or uber) or just how to "survive" an overnight bus ride (wear comfy clothes, bring snacks, ect)

im 5'2 and 40kg and built like a toothpick i dont have alot going for me strengh wise if anything happens

if anyone has some tips to stay safe the entire ride back or just some advice to keep my anxiety at bay that would be very helpful

thanks!

I got out of a toxic situation with someone three months ago, and nobody cares about it. Even my mom expects me to just get over it. This person did a lot of mental damage to me.

I cannot look at myself anymore.

My mirror is covered with a bedsheet, I'm always overheated from stress, and I cry until I can't breathe. He's doing so much better than me.

He manipulated me, took advantage of me, thought of me as an embarrassment, and never found me attractive. He thought I was so ugly that he kept me a secret. I was dumb enough to stay because my self-esteem is in the garbage, and I cared more about his validation than my own wellbeing. Still, I tried standing up to him, and he hated that. It's like seeing a mask slip.

I told him how I dealt with appearance-based cruelty, trauma surrounding my appearance, and he lied to me for eight months. I cannot pretend to be okay. He humiliated me in front of the woman he actually wanted to pour into. He got her, he looks better, she's happy, and he doesn't treat her the way he treated me.

Why are people like this?

I keep talking about this because I have no one. I have nobody because I'm too ugly to be considered a woman at all. People only value you when you're beautiful, especially as a woman of color.

Please, help me. I'm struggling so much and my thoughts are getting unbearable.

How do I stop thinking this way?

I'm 28, 5'0", and my closet is basically graphic tees and comfy stuff from my teens. I want to dress more put-together and feminine but I have almost no money and no mall near me - just TJ Maxx and Ross.

What actually works for you? Thrift stores like where I live the only stores they have is Salvation Army but when I went to look over there, they don’t really have clothes that are my taste nothing‘s wrong with the clothes and they have good clothes. It’s just because older people live like 50s and 60s I feel like I have to travel to another town to get good clothes.

the maid that works for me and my family has a bday coming up next monday and im looking for a good bday present for her. she has worked for us for 12 yrs, literally ever since i was 8 yrs old, so she's practically like family to us.

she's 48 yrs old, her hobbies are crochet and watching telenovelas, and she's very family-oriented (she has a husband and 2 daughters whom are around my age).

thx in advance

Building my social life (making new friends, meeting new people) is going to be a big focus of my life the next few months. I realize I have to do some things alone. So there is this party at a club I wanna go to this weekend and if I go, I’d be going alone. I’ve never done this before and I’m super nervous. I keep looking at the host’s IG page of their past parties and psyching myself out. Just afraid to feel/look awkward. Any tips for partying alone?

Hi! So I have been getting more into wearing heels and I love the look and the vibe but I keep running into the same issue with almost every shoe I try - for many people, the worst part of wearing heels is the pain in the ball of their foot and overall foot pain from prolonged heel wearing, but I do not have this issue at all, my main issue is heels rubbing at the back of the heel until this point is raw and painful, which happens from the shoe slipping up and down, and this happens with every pair of heels or heeled sandals I’ve tried, both cheaper and more expensive options. However, I have no issues wearing my high heel winter boots that go way over the ankle and require wearing socks - since there’s no rubbing, I can wear 10cm heels all day every day and feel completely fine the next day with no pain, so my issue is the heel rubbing, not the heels themselves. I’ve tried those gel or suede cushioning stickers you put on the edge of the shoe, special bandages or balms to no avail, I would genuinely appreciate any advice from those who had the same issue and managed to overcome it

Hey everyone! I compete and mock trial and often shadow law firms—I intend on becoming a lawyer!
What heels are comfortable for sustained wear and are still cute? I love a good block heel!

i've noticed that whenever i look at beginner advice, people focus a lot on what you should buy but not much on what it's actually like to learn how to use one.

i'm not trying to build a collection or find something with every possible feature. i'd rather start with something uncomplicated and spend some time figuring out what settings and sensations i prefer.

a small bullet vibe keeps coming up when i look at beginner friendly options, but i'm curious whether people actually found that format easy to learn with.

what made the biggest difference when you were first figuring out what worked for you?