I stay up until 2 AM before falling asleep. The memories keep me awake, and the nightmares prevent me from sleeping for very long.

In 2017, my abusive ex came to my work and livestreamed his attempt to murder/suicide us. He failed but wound up killing himself; it was incredibly traumatic.

I expressed to a therapist later on that I carried a ton of guilt for feeling so traumatized on the anniversary date. He asked me- "do you think a victim of the September 11th terrorist attacks should stop commemorating the event each year because they should be over it?"

Those words stuck with me. This year was the 25th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks- I was 8 when they happened, but I remember the day vividly. I have, since September, been watching/listening to victims (firefighters, policepeople, children of the deceased, 911 operators, etc). To hear that they still struggle to this day is obviously heartbreaking, but their willingness to be so open about their continuous struggles heals something within me- that this is the human condition- when you experience devastation and loss to that extent, it never goes away- you just work around it. Their symptoms are so similar to mine.

One survivor said something along the lines of, "if water boils at 212 degrees, I walked around for years after the event at a temperature of 210 degrees, always so close to boiling over." I could not express the feeling more beautifully if I tried.

Not sure why I felt like posting this- it was just on my mind today.

what type of accommodations/support do you ask your friends to make for you when the triggers are worse? i have ptsd from csa and i feel like i need some sort of extra support from my closest friends on the bad days but can’t figure it out by myself what it should be

My partner played it for me once in the car and it reminds me so much of how he respect my privacy when it comes to ptsd. when I finally told him he said he had a feeling I had PTSD. the song makes me cry every time because it's how you SHOULD love someone with PTSD. never force them to tell you their trauma and accept you may never hear the details and you'll still love them or you'll wait until they're ready to tell. I've had exs yell at me demanding to know my trauma, but he loves me so true and real he's okay with never knowing and being there for me. he doesn't remember showing me the song but it makes me feel so loved every time it plays. Finding a partner who loves you so fully they'd never force you to tell them anything is so rare and pure. I love that man.

Does anyone else have songs that make them think about their PTSD and their relationship with PTSD?

Feel free to add to the list, I’m always up for discovering new music I can relate to.

Rihanna - disturbia (psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar)
Matchbox twenty - unwell (depression, schizophrenia, bipolar)
Skydxddy- triggered (PTSD)
Starset - monster ( sexual assault )
Billie eilish - lovely (depression)
Dean Lewis - waves (depression)
Diamante - serves you right (abusive relationship)
Limp biskit- behind blue eyes ( depression)
NF - mansion - (struggles with mental health)
The weeknd - in the night (sexual assault as a child)
Tones and I - Charlie - (my other personality, schizophrenia and bipolar)
Tones and I - bad child (my childhood abuse)
These chain smokers - reaper (schizophrenia bipolar)

These are just how I relate to these songs, they may relate to you in a different way.

Basically, I was SA'd by my ex when I was 17. It's been 5 years and I know it will never fully go away, I'm lucky enough that he was run out of town when people heard. I'll get to the question.

Late at night on the bad days, when the thoughts just will not go away, do any other people just stalk all of their attackers social media? I think some part of me just NEEDS to know he's stayed away. I feel bad every time, like I know I should try to just delete him from my mind forever, but it's like some force just will not let me rest until I know he's atleast 100 miles from me.

Hello 24 years old dignosised with severe PTSD and psychotic depression with paranoia..i wonder can ptsd be a cause for psychotic features? Trying alot of anti phycotics and anti depressents but it doesnt seem to be working well enough. My auitory hallucinations do get worse when Im in a episode but also if I have a flashback or remmber a person. They mock me (I was brutslly bullied growing up) I hear men all the time laughing In my head like its a voice thats taken over. I also will hear commands to harm myself or others (never would) but mostly things that connect to my ptsd

Men talking /commanding

Mocking / laughing

Paranoia to the point I cant leave my house because someone will follow me with camara, rspe me or hurt me. (Trauma)

Foods poisoned (had a bad eating disorder)

Hearing camara flashes (expolited, stalked before).

Them telling me someone will be vilont towards me

And men yelling at me.

I also feel hands on me often, I also occasionally see things itd also a man or eyes or faces. Is it possible to habe ptsd with psychotic features? Rather then depression amd mabye this is why things arent working as well..i don't kust hear when Im depressed I hear almost all the time. Im paranoid all the time.

i’ve been on prazosin for a little over a year, i experienced seizures prior to taking it but after starting it they became much more frequent. if i stand up i immediately get dizzy and shaky and my vision goes black. if i take it too early i typically feel loopy and like im gonna have a seizure, to the point i need help completing simple tasks. i am diagnosed with ptsd but nothing yet with my seizures… does anyone else have this side effect?

Took almost 2 years to get to a possible trial date, did my deposition and then it got delayed till next year but I agreed to the possibility of offering my ex a plea deal that still carries consequences and now that it's done, I'm just tired, exhausted, relieved but not happy just a quiet exhausted calm, maybe I can started to move on finally from everything.

Idk what did everyone else feel like after the final court date against their abuser?

im gonna make this short to get the main idea across

i am 16 years old and have a older half brother ( same mom different dad) and a little sister dont have any adult i can trust to help me my father has cte from playing too many contact sports in high school my grandparents are completely greedy and bring me down my ptsd is from 2 factors

1 growing up i never had a good mother figure ive had 3 mothers in my life my biological mom was a drug addict and a nymph who always talked smoke up my ass and my siblings saying shes a great mother which is ironic since she physically abused me my sister and my brother she lost custody to all her kids 2 3-5 years old i lived in manassas even though it wasnt the ghetto i saw people get killed and had death all around me this is where my step mom comes into play she lived with me and my dad during this time but later on cheated on him took the family dog and either sold him or abandoned him

my sisters ptsd she hasnt told me much but i know a bit about her she was groped by our babysitter at first i didnt believe her and thought she was lying until a single memory clicked everything together i was 6 years old when our babysitter my dads best friend came over we watched a movie in the basement and i was bored so i was looking around i saw his hand rubbing her leg and a finger slowly going towards her private area at first i thought nothing of it well you can guess he was doing and my father responded in the worst way possible he yelled at my sister to tell him the truth and when she couldnt talk because it was traumatic he yelled at her and threatend to break her phone

my brother also has ptsd where he had to live with my biological mom his whole life where he watched her trying to hurt herself but worse of all the abuse she put him through i only know one story of the abuse when my brother came home from school he was like 9 she was high on drugs and thought he was a intrudor so she beat his ass with a hairbrush until it was purple he was in so much pain he couldnt sit for a week

why i cant talk to my family are for a few reasons 1 my father is very fucking stubborn he has ptsd he has killed people before and yet he dosent understand reality he always explodes in difficult situations when in private in public he somehow evades the fucking law to keep us 2 my grandparents cant comprehend my issues and are very greedy and manipulative where on multiple occasions shes sued the excuse to kick us out if we dont do what she wants for example lets say you ask her for a favor shell gladly do it but as soon as you slighlty give her a attitude or dont do what she wants she will try to shame you for asking that favor

( this is only the censored version of what actully is going on it would be helpful if there was a community on reddit where i can tell the full story) what im trying to get at is i cant live here anymore my mental health is deteriorating im scared to call CPS because i go to a divison 10 highschool i love my teachers there and the resources i have so what should i do ( final note mo cousins on both side the family are awesome so is my mom side of the family my dads side of the family of my grandparenst and him where i have a issue)

I’m a man living in Texas, and I’m looking for advice on finding a therapist who can help me work through some difficult experiences. I grew up in an abusive household. Several years ago, one of my relatives assaulted me and called the police. I was arrested, but the charge was ultimately dropped. Despite that, the experience continues to haunt me, and I still struggle with the shame and distress surrounding it.

I’m also a gay man who hopes to adopt a child someday. The thought of having to disclose my arrest during the adoption process is particularly distressing to me, and I’m afraid of how my past might affect my ability to become a parent.

I’ve tried discussing these issues with therapists before, but I’ve been told they couldn’t help me. I’m trying to figure out what kind of professional or therapeutic specialty I should look for.

What should I look for in a therapist so that they can help me? I'm in Texas if that helps.

So basically i had an ex who i was with a little over a month. She would forcefully kiss me but i would always kiss back but when i pulled away cause i was UNCOMFORTABLE but i never said anything. We eventually moved onto.. other things and i kept pulling away but she would force me back to having s3x, i kept saying ok and she never stopped. I dont know if it was SA and i need someone to tell me.

i have ptsd. Ive been having a continous episode for like weeks now and its getting to the point where I'm becoming afraid to leave my house unless someone escorts me. Any advice on what to do about this is hugely appreciated. As we speak im missing a test for my nursing program because I was too scared to leave my apartment alone. The closer I get to the time I have to leave the more paniced I get until Im having chest pains and hyperventilating and literally like wailing "ohmygodohmygod" and eventually hide in the windowless side room we have its getting so bad. Im afraid I will become completely agorophobic if I dont fix this stat. I just started zoloft but I understand this takes a few weeks to work assuming it works. The thing here is absolutely nothing triggered this several week fear episode at all and I am in the safest home environment, safest neighborhood, safest relationship, and furthest removed from any danger i have been ever in my entire life so idk what this is all about

I recently moved to Chicago and am having a hard time managing triggers. Context, I was in two shootings so loud noises (obviously gunshots but also things like balloons popping/fireworks/loud cars/yelling) and crowded spaces can be hard to manage. I will admit the shooting that happened yesterday has not helped, but it’s been an issue since I moved a month ago. I’m also autistic, so my threshold is already lower without specific triggers happening, so when something does happen and I’m already overstimulated it’s even worse.

I’m in theatre and have previous connections here, so moving somewhere else is really not an option rn. I also like pretty much everything else about living here.

I live in a neighborhood farther from the city center and try to wear headphones when I go places, but does anyone have any advice if they’re in a similar situation?

How can I get this to stop…. It’s every second of every day. I don’t see how this is protecting me, it’s making me more likely to get hurt or fuck up because it’s so distracting. How does everyone get though this?

35m, I feel like I was placed in a box and I had to conform to somebody else's expectations or be punished. I feel like I'm trying to be comfortable being myself again and it's really hard. Also, being called crazy and all this other stuff. The struggle everyday and I wonder if I'm really going crazy or whatever.

Anyone feel weird (like anxious but relaxed) when having coffee while on Prazosin? If so, what’s a better alternative to get you going in the morning or while you’re at work?

Thanks!

Hi,

Please forgive me if this isn't the right place to ask this question, first off. Secondly, I'm looking for honesty here. I'm genuinely confused about what happened to me, not looking to go around and say "I was SA'd" like a badge or something.

Several years ago I was at a concert. I went crowd surfing and several men grabbed my shirt and tried to forcibly remove/tear off my shirt and bra. They were very specifically trying to remove my clothing, not just moving me along as you do when someone is crowd surfing. They grabbed onto it all at once and tried to tear and pull it off over my head.

They did not succeed in removing my clothing, though they got about halfway and my stomach was exposed before I got control back.

The incident has emotionally affected me.

Do you consider this assault? Sexual assault? Groping? I'm not sure. I feel like I have no right to say I experienced something traumatic when they didn't even succeed in undressing me.

Hi all. SSA told me I'll need a representative payee to manage my benefit money. It's not optional, and my mom has an appointment coming up to be set up as my payee.

If you've been through this, I'd love to hear your experience. How much control did you keep over your own spending in practice? Did you use a family member as payee, and how did that work out? Is it ever reviewed or removed later, and how did you go about that? Anything you wish you'd known before the appointment?

Thanks, everyone.

PTSD is not a phase. It's not something I can simply grow out of, forget about, or switch off whenever someone tells me to move on.

The nightmares, the anxiety, the difficulty trusting people, and the memories that still affect me years later are REAL.

Just because something happened a long time ago doesn't mean its impact magically disappears. Healing isn't linear, and I shouldn't have to constantly explain my trauma just to have my feelings taken seriously.

I'm tired of people treating PTSD like it's a temporary mood or something I'm choosing to hold onto.

I deserve patience, understanding, and respect. My trauma does not define my entire future, but that doesn't mean my experiences should ever be dismissed. 🖤

Back in 2024 I no longer lived up to the diagnostic criteria for PTSD and I thought that was it.

But then last year, my mother died and I think that must have triggered my PTSD or something because since then I've been experiencing symptoms again. Nightmares, anger, flashbacks, hypervigilance, helplessness. The works.

My mum had dementia and seeing her go through all that just reminded me so much of my own health problems that initially caused me to develop PTSD. I saw her health deteriorate, I watched how she lost her autonomy, some of her symptoms reminded me so much of the brainfog I suffered myself when my lupus was at its worst. Her dementia also progressed really fast, within a year she went from being able to take care of herself and living a completely normal life to not even remembering her own family.

Has anyone else had their PTSD re-triggered like this? Even after not having experienced symptoms for a long time? I feel exhausted, like why did this all have to happen like this? And at a point where I thought my life was finally taking a turn for the better as well.

This might be a little embarrassing to admit, but when I was in elementary school, I was so scared of getting dental treatment that I refused to go inside the treatment room and tried to resist.
Eventually, the dentist sedated me and took me into the operating room.
Ever since that experience, I’ve been absolutely terrified of going to the dentist. I don’t want to feel this way, but I’m genuinely so scared!!!
I’m 22 now, and I feel like I should be old enough to handle something like going to the dentist without being this afraid. Isn’t it a little ridiculous to still be this scared of the dentist as an adult?
Is there something wrong with me? Does anyone else feel this way?

When I was 12 my mom tried to kill me & my 7 year old brother. I’ve done therapy since I was 8 because we were taken away from the state when my sister had enough and recorded one of my mom’s episodes of her violently beating us & forcing us to strip and sleep outside. I have so many terrible memories but thankfully rarely get triggered in my daily life and routine so I never have episodes or even nightmares anymore. I did A.R.T with a psychologist when I was 17 that really helped me improve. Unfortunately my memory of my mom trying to kill me is the one that I still haven’t been able to heal from. I’m worried I won’t ever and it’s interfering with me trying to move on and live my life. This all happened in a car and in the canyon with her threatening to drive off the cliff and recklessly swerving while I did everything to plead while listening to my brothers screams and tears. To this day I still don’t understand how we were the only ones on that road, I feel I’ll never be able to heal from this either because when the police spoke to us they took her side despite knowing we were on a visitation day because she’s been proven guilty in court for child abuse.
Anyways I’m 21 and trying to learn how to drive because I need to be independent, I so badly want to be independent, just every time I drive I’m back in that moment with her. I know it sounds stupid because it’s not the same at all, I’m the one in control and I can do what I need to do to feel safe but as soon as the feeling of fear hits me I get hit with a panic attack and get so shaky and it just triggers me even more that something is going to happen and I’m going to die. I feel so hopeless I don’t think I’ll ever be capable to drive.