Sorry in advance for the length of this post. I'll put a tldr at the bottom if you dont wanna read it all
Hello there. I have kind of a difficult situation here I wanna ask for advice on. It's mainly caused by a miss match of expectations between how I dm for my DnD group and how another person in the group DMs. Currently I'm taking a break from DMing as we hit a good stopping point in a homebrew campaign I was doing and switched over to another person DMing a campaign (also homebrew). Well we're a few sessions in now and I'm really just disappointed in how its going and I'm not having fun at all.
Let me first explain how I DM cause its important to explain my feelings how the other DM in my DnD group DMs. And I wanna preface this by saying I'm not a perfect DM. I have difficulty with balancing, I sometimes railroad the players to the story, and I have difficulty with improv and making things up on the fly. Flaws aside, for every session, I make detailed maps and plan out rooms individually with different encounters and loot. I try and do different voices for characters, I listen to my players feedback and try and change things to be most fun for everyone, I put aside different music to play during sessions to make the campaign feel more atmospheric, and I try and have an overarching story for the players to follow, it loosely (not a big sandbox dm as I mentioned before where Im not good with making things up on the spot). Overall I put a lot of time and effort into dming and making as quality a game as possible.
What I'm looking for in a campaign is akin to what I give in a campaign. I want a well thought out story, I want to play my characters like they're actually people with flaws, a backstory, motivations, and not just a character sheet. I want to see at least some effort put in visually on maps so I can understand better whats going on. I want a dm who will work with me and take suggestions for how things should change to be more fun. Unfortunately, in the current campaign and really all the other campaigns done by this DM and the other players in my Dnd group who have DM'd, its just not what I've been getting. The sessions are pretty boring. Its obvious to the players there's no actual plan for where the story is going even though the DM said it would be a story based game with heavy rp. Everything is made up on the spot and its so awkward and half baked that we actually had to wipe the first session cause it made no sense and we didn't do anything. I've multiple times given the DM ideas for how I think different parts of the sessions should go so I can having interesting story moments for my characters only to be ignored and those moments instead be... well nothing. I made maps for the DM for a session since it involved a bastion my played would have and I wanted it to look cool as we explored it but he kept the main conflict in the starting room and didnt let us explore the rest after we defeated the main enemy. He just skipped us along and said "Alright you all empty out the rest of the dungeon." still angry about this because i spent multiple hours on it only be send to an unbalanced boss battle in the first room and then not get to even see the rest of the place even if i know what it looks like.
I know I shouldn't put expectations on other DMs for how they should be DMing its not fair. I'm just disappointed cause in a way I feel like the main DM in my dnd group kind of holding the whole thing together cause none of the other peoples campaigns last longer than a few sessions but I dont want to be the DM all the time. The process burns me out quite a bit. I like being a player. The most fun I have in DnD is creating a character cause I love putting a lot of thought into my characters and I get so angry when the campaigns in my DnD group die because the campaigns weren't anywhere near planned out to begin with.
My advice that I want is how to deal with this. Has anyone else gone through this kind of thing before? Im sure i just have to accept that people have different dming styles and I cant expect someone to put in as much effort into dming as I do. I'll have to find another table to play at. I just need to hear it from someone else cause I've been a little depressed about it the last few weeks and havent really decided what im gonna do cause currently spending 3 hours of my already very limited time every week isnt working for me anymore.
TLDR: I put a lot more time into dming than other poeple in my dnd group and its given me expectations for how I think the games should be run when the other players take a lot less time to prep for sessions and the games are less fun to me then overall because of that.