Context:
I am a relatively new player in a fresh campaign (weāre heading towards session 5 now I believe) with some friends, one of whom is also our DM. Weāre all in college and half our party has never played much if at all.
The Issue:
I have a very basic understanding of D&D and have really enjoyed getting to learn more about it. Itās even more fun because Iām getting to learn with some of my best friends.
However, our DM, bless their heart, is beginning to wear on mine and several othersā nerves. Theyāre a very kind person and we love them so dearly, but sometimes talking with them takes so much energy.
We hadnāt even ended our third session for more than a few days before they texted every player about character ideas for the next campaign. Iām all for being prepared, but that felt very excessive and overwhelming, especially since most of us are juniors/seniors with full class loads and schedules (weāre lucky all of our weekends were clear). Even more so, they are constantly talking about the campaign, even when no one else has brought it up or even WANTS to discuss it.
We began leveling up our characters, and they took it upon themselves to bring up updating character sheets whenever they could, both to me and several others. When one of my friends pushed back and told them that she was very busy with assignments and school and sheād get to it when she could, the DM set up a time āto talk it overā without asking her or even making sure she wanted help. They did this with several people who were just as vocal about wanting a little break from campaign talk.
What makes me even more upset is that my s/o is part of the campaign, but he doesnāt go to our university, so he calls in over discord. He was so excited to be able to play with us and we all were happy to have him.
The DM has essentially communicated to me that they do not want to have to deal with the āinconvenienceā of my s/o playing over call, so theyāre killing his character off. Now, Iām not sure if this is an agreement he and the DM had, because heās conveyed to me that he knew about it, but heās still so disappointed because he doesnāt get to see all of us very often due to work and other obligations, and he just wanted to have a good time with everyone.
As a whole all of us players have communicated the overwhelm and frustration to our DM, but they havenāt been receiving it well. Weāre trying to be gracious because this is their first time DMing, and they do an amazing job, but the overbearing and obsessive behavior is growing to be a little much.
Any advice or thoughts would be much appreciated, as weāre all at our wits end.
EDIT:
Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. Some of it was a bitter pill for me because I get a lot of anxiety when it comes to confrontation/hard conversations. I for sure am overthinking this and will be taking initiative on how to get the ball rolling.
To all the DMs out there, I love and admire the passion and work you all put in and I know that this experience is not malicious or a reflection of you all and the effort you put into making the game enjoyable.
Wish me luck, and once again thank you for your feedback! (: