I just feel grossed out by the idea of putting a sensitive body part into somebodys body cavity with mucus and possible bacteria, just in general, I don't like it the same way I don't wanna put my fingers in someones mouth. Vulvas don't look nice, to me they look like a displaced deformed mouth, not something I'd wanna put anywhere near my face. Hell, I don't even like my own genitals, a dick feels floppy and weird-looking. I do get horny, but not even then can I willingly do activities that seem disgusting.

Within the community there's those who are favorable, averse and indifferent, and I hate that there's discrimination against Asexuals towards other Asexuals as well.

Those who are favorable or indifferent sometimes calls us who are averse to have a disorder or that we just suffer from purity culture or sexism, then those who are averse will sometimes gatekeep and call people who are favorable or indifferent to not be ace, or people who think being Averse/Favorable or Indifferent are just personality traits you could change if you wanted to.

I am a sex repulsed artist who will draw NSFW for commissions and in a relationship, I hate when people will assume I suffer from purity culture when many works of mine in the past have been deeply rooted in BDSM. I hate the assumption I am forcing my Allo boyfriend in a relationship when many times I've encouraged he could leave me. We've been together for years now and to him, he may be Allo but sex isn't important to him.

I could've easily ignored this if it's coming from Allo folks, but other Aces? It's awful.

I’m sorry, I know people are tired of seeing these posts, but this shit was genuinely so disgusting. For context, the post was saying that there is something wrong with you if you find genitals disgusting, basically shaming people for that. I don’t really see why we should be shamed for not wanting to hear about that and finding it gross - you are well within your right to talk about these things. But I also don’t really like to hear about them either. I can maybe hear about it when it’s extremely non descriptive, but that’s it. But the point of the post isn’t really what matters, it’s the fact that this person is just full on SHAMING me for being asexual and sex repulsed. That is the issue here. And I’m so tired because I’ve been attacked a lot for being sex repulsed in the past month.

so i've been reading up more about asexuality and a lot of experiences i see are somewhat shared with autism, and it's making it harder to figure out if i'm actually asexual or if it's just autism. if you're also autistic, how did you figure out you were asexual?

You know how sometimes people will go" This [ name of actor/ character] was my gay/bi awakening"?

Was thinking about that today and it made me wonder ... what would an asexual (or even aromantic) awakening look like? from other people's experiences, it seems like more of a reflection on various clues coming together and I wanted to ask then. I'm not too well versed on things

Marking NSFW for the photo. I EXPLICITLY said in their like 5,000 question survey I was not sexually active. Yet they still tried to make me fill out the sexual activity survey (I skipped all the questions) weird but whatever. So I finish setting up the app and am immediately greeted with this bullshit! Sex makes me so incredibly uncomfortable, I don’t want sex tips, for an app that claims to be personalized they really didn’t listen to that part. On some fucking bullshit ig.

I got a bad period cramp so I asked a male coworker to cover my shift and told him I am on my period. I did not think much because he covered my shift when I got a cold before and I also told him I got a cold. I did not want to just say I was sick because I knew he would ask what was wrong, tell me to be careful with the weather in Texas and bla bla. I just did not think much when tell him I’m on my period cuz we are normal friends. We talk about our customers and stuff. He just said ok and hope me feel better.
The next day, a coworker who was supposed to work with me ended up working with him. She asked him where I was, and he told her I am tired because I’m on my period.
And she just sent me a long text scolding me why I talked to him about something so personal as if he were my boyfriend.
You might wonder why the work environment seems so informal.
We work at a family owned ethnic stores, so it’s not exactly a work culture with strict workplace communication and policies.
But honestly, I felt fine, I did not think I did something wrong until I got scolded by my coworker.
Also, I can casually jokes about sex. For example, when I am with my allo girl friends, and we see a hot guy passing by, I feel comfortable joining them to admire his physique and how hot he is.
Fellow aces, do you experience what I experience? Or am I a pick-me girl without me realising it? Am I socially tone deaf???

For exemple parents, friends or relatives who ask "when will you date; when will you marry; do you like anyone yet"

I am glad that my mother had told me that she is fine if I ever never want to date or have a relationship. But I still get these questions from my other relatives and some of my friends who don't know that I am in aroace spectrum.

I also don't want to give explanations on "what does aroace means" to my relatives, cuz with their mindset, might just call me crazy and I don't want to waste my energy there.

I have also cut contacts with one of my cousins who completly stepped over boundaries (kept asking about my lovelife even when I repeatedly told him to stop trying to be noisy and set me up with his friends/ and some other stuff too). With him it was easy, since this one cousin I barely knew well enough (he also tried to push the idea of being "best cousins forever" type shi). But i can't do it with my other relatives.

would like to know y'alls experience and feelings facing this type of situations.

I feel like I'll be downvoted heavily for this, but I need to vent. I'm jealous of sex-favorable/indifferent Asexuals for the fact my repulsion is to a point even seeing or hearing discussions brings me severe distress, and sex is something that's super normal, which obviously, nothing wrong with that, I just wish I didn't have to go through my adult life feeling so uncomfortable and it's no one's fault, Im having difficulty trying to cope.

My repulsion isn't that extreme 100% of the time, but at it's peak it feels like I'm hearing people, as funny of a metaphor it is, talking about cannibalism and the specifics of how they do it. Basically, my repulsion comes in moods, hell, there are kinks I do like seeing in fiction but even then my mood seeing it depends, the cannibalism metaphor I used is if the repulsion is at 100%.

I want to speak with other people my age without feeling like a child who doesn't want to talk about sex or kinks, which I do sometimes but that's perhaps 30% of my mood, most of the time, I'm repulsed, I think the feeling of isolation is more severe when I'm an artist in fandom spaces for adults, and of course that'll often come with discussion of NSFW often.

All my life I never really had any interest in having sex. I do get aroused and horny, but not for sex, more for stimulation and affection. I've had sex before, not a whole lot, but enough, and I never been blown away by any experience. I read this book called LOVE MAPS where they discuss, sexual paraphilias and perversions. I only mention this because I think my interest in kinks and fetishes got to me before sex did. I feel like I'm not making any sense, but my loaded question is how do you know if you're truly asexual or not? I feel like I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life because every woman I get involved with just wants sex, and once they find out that I'm not really interested in sex, they either cheat on me or just abandon me :(

I’m sure some of you heard the recent drama surrounding that “comedian” (I’d never heard of him before) who made a failure of a joke on SNL about women “dressing like wh*res to the gym these days.”

Man did that sh*t* piss me off.* It incited so much debate on the internet, so many men giving bs opinions and saying “well, yeah, women do dress like wh\res to the gym, we notice it all the time!”*

It makes me so mad as an asexual woman who has valued athletics and training for literal years. It’s not my fault I have boobs and a butt! I’m literally made of meat, we all are. Women’s sportswear is designed for their bodies, for maximum comfort, for support, for the ability to observe one’s own muscles and verify that you’re doing a lift correctly. I’ve covered up when going to the gym too, but it doesn’t feel like my style and makes me feel like I’m wearing pajamas/dressed like a bum.

I HATE that so many men treat women like our bodies are made solely to have sex with them. Because men really think that!!!! Even “good” men who say they’re your friends and that they respect women or whatever. Recently I was talking to an elderly male coworker who always seemed like he loved his wife, but he was telling me she had to give up a sport she loved because her boobs literally got too big for it. He told me she had been really upset over this, but his response to her was “he didn’t mind, he liked it.”
Like what a callous and demeaning thing to say🤦‍♀️ she misses the sport she loved and he’s just basking in having access to “big b**bies”.

Sorry for the rant, but lately it really does seem like there is this disconnect in all men’s brains and that they will never see us as fully human. I’m on lexapro for depression but even still it’s a feeling I grapple with a lot :/

Iam struggling who am i i want to rest in peace
Do i love pink or cars or am i just trying to forget my scars
By passing fast by the eras i used called peace but it’s just darkness all of the sudden i feel sadness nobody by my mystery mind tryna see what’s hidden behind all my fake smiles
But do i want company or less i have changed Iam somebody else
I don’t recognize myself but what about my friends

This is mostly a question

Sort of a research- and intrigue-based post. I'm trying to collect ways of explaining asexuality so that when something I default to fails to explain it. I have other examples and ways of talking about it.

So

How do you tell people you're ace, if you tell them at all?

What metaphors or comparisons do you make?

What media do you reference: books, TV, movies, etc.?

What are quintessential Ace experiences you think help explain the community and identity?

Feel free to ask and answer any of your own questions you feel fit this area of questions.

In the past, my periods came without any problems every month, and the bleeding would settle down after 3 or 4 days—it was always manageable. But… maybe my hormone balance got thrown off after I started taking antidepressants. For the past year or two, I’ve only been getting a normal period about once every 3 to 4 months, and the bleeding has become so heavy that I can’t handle it like I used to.
It’s especially noticeable when I’m sitting in a chair or standing up, which is a major problem for me since I work at a desk.

However, I’m a bit hesitant about going to a gynecologist… I’ve been once before, but it was awkward being asked about my “sexual history,” and the doctor just said, “It seems you have a constitution that makes it difficult to ovulate, so I’ll prescribe some medication” (by the way, after taking that medication, I ended up bleeding for about three months)
And the thought of having to undergo more detailed tests if it comes to that… well, it scares me a little. Even though I’ve never had sex, so there’s no suspicion of cervical cancer, I’m still afraid of having any kind of exam done on my uterus.
I know it probably depends on individual differences and medical conditions, but is there anyone here on this subreddit—a woman like me who’s never had sex—who’s had any kind of exam at a gynecologist’s office related to menstruation, other than just getting a prescription for medication?

I know this might sound childish, but having a uterus when I have absolutely no interest in sex is really a hassle…

So far ive only been in two relationships, both times my partner was not asexual. While not the sole reason, me being asexual caused both of the relationships to end. Both people expressed that it hurt them that I dont feel any sexual desire towards them. I dont really understand it, but I can clearly see how hurt they both felt. Now im unsure if its possible to be with allo people without hurting them in the process severely. Have yall been able to communicate through it?

I am double demi, aegosexual, sex indifferent, with pan aesthetics.

Any sort of anything sexual or romantic requires a bond, whether it is hyperfixation (autistic) or otherwise. That is why double demi fits me.

Aegosexual, because the IDEA of sex is much, much better than actual sex. This is what confused me about the indifference label until I realized this was a thing. I prefer, highly, to do things myself for release. The idea of sex, great, arousing. The act? Meh, not great, definitely do not need it.

Sex Indifferent. Because I could take or leave real sex. I don't NEED a partner for gratification. Though, I do not mind doing it for my partner as a way to express affection to them. If I seek out sex, it is psychologically rather physically driven. Because I might do it for personal reasons, either for them or myself, but I don'tget sexual gratification from it and do not care if I never get touched by someone again or not.

Pan aesthetic. Because I find people of any gender nice to look at, even somewhat arousing briefly, though have no urge or desire to act on it whatsoever. I only entertain the idea of acting if I have some sort of bond with the person. And like I said, I find the idea of sex with someone much more pleasing than the real act.

Is this a valid label? Is it too much? Does it make sense? I'm new to the idea that I am on the ace spectrum at all and then I started realizing that some of the smaller labels applied. I had been very confused about my libido vs action vs motivation thing, until I found out about being aego, and that part makes the entire thing click for me.

I’m curious on people’s answers and how many of us might have similar things we love and hate about being single! Don’t get me wrong- I, most of the time, LOVE being single, but there are times I get sad about it too.

Like my biggest complaint is not having someone who can consistently commit to plans/activities with me. (And yes I know the solution is to probably have more than just one friend, BUT I DO- they just feel the need to invite their significant others with them all the time which is FINE but kinda makes me a third wheel which isn’t fun anymore after a while)

That being said, my biggest love for being single is having my own independence- no shared space, no shared schedules, no shared decisions, no shared bodily fluids lol! It’s probably controversial cause I’m sure people in healthy relationships can have high independence too, but being single means i don’t even have to try or think about it. It’s very freeing for me.

Hi -

32(m) married to 32(f) who is asexual. We grew up evangelical and didn’t have the skills/info to know she was asexual until late in marriage. We have since deconstructed and now we know. In some ways, it’s refreshing and very beneficial.

but I still have a sex drive. Im considering taking medication to lower my libido. Before I research the specifics, does anyone here have experience or know someone who took this route?

thanks

So, just as the title said, I (f 20's) think I'm becoming sex-adverse.

I also want to tag this as vent and question because I wanna do both but I can only chose one tag

So, I've never had sex I just don't feel ready (this is actually really hard to write out, thanks Catholic church)

Okey form the beginning, I've never had sex but I have dabbled in masturbating, i have been trying to feel something, anything really, but I just don't get it. Touching myself doesn't really do anything (for some reason it just makes me itchy and I hate it) I have been doing it more often but honestly, it's meh, it usually last like 2 minutes and then I'm like "I'm done with this" and I go back to what I was doing

I keep doing it but I don't even like it! I'm like "well maybe this time it'll be different" but it's not! I'm like insane cuz I keep doing the same thing trying to get different results.

I wanna have children someday but the idea of sex it's kinda off putting, when I was younger the idea of sex was a forget thing, something I might do someday but I'm getting older and I just don't feel like having sex. Sex with men or women don't seem appealing, I don't know, the bodily fluids of both just discust me.

I've been watching porn as a way to like, get used to the idea? But I just watch it for 5 minutes and I get bored

smut and fanfiction are more entertaining, sometimes hentai but hentai is honestly so repetitive and some stories yuck me out, like lolitas. No, just. No

What about you? People in the community how do you feel? Do any of you have had a similar experience?

I know I've been ace since I was 13. I wanna have children from my own body someday, but how can I when I don't want to have sex and other methods like insemination are so expensive, how can I get a partner that will understand all of this?

(Also I'm questioning if I'm aromantic but that's more difficult to pinpoint)

It's really liberating to write this down, I have many other things to say, but for the moment that is all

If you read to the end, thank you so much!

By~