I’m 41, my wife is 38 and we’ve been married for 11 years. Around 18 months ago - as she was weening from breast feeding our youngest boy (2 and 6), she noticed a painful lump in her breast.

It took 9 weeks to finally see the doctor, who sent her to another doctor, and that one to yet another. Ultimately, she has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, which spread to her kidneys, liver and lymph nodes.

Most recently, she had an awful reaction to her second-line treatment and were on to third-line. According to her doctor and everything I can find, we have 12 months until palliative care and maybe a few months thereafter until passing.

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to deal. I’m stoic most of the time with her and the boys, but when I’m alone I shatter and cry uncontrollably. Our marriage isn’t the best, but I cannot imagine this world without her. The thought of explaining her passing to the boys makes me wretch.

I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Long story short, my husband cheated on me while we were engaged in 2000. He let a girl, that he didn’t know, give him a blow job. We were engaged at the time so it’s some really f-ed up stuff.

Fast forward to 2001, our first year of marriage. He confesses the whole thing. I was devastated. I didn’t see it coming. I felt foolish and sick to my stomach. I was pregnant with our first child and had a rough relationship with my mom so I decided to stay. We got some counseling and we worked through it. Since I never caught him, and never thought he would even do something like that, it made it easier for me to forgive him I guess. We also got married extremely young. (Not trying to make excuses for him, just stating the facts)

Around 2008 our marriage became better than I ever thought possible. He has been loving and caring and just a great man. I completely forgave him at this point.

I can’t imagine life without him. He truly is the love of my life and I believe that I am the love of his. He hasn’t shown any signs of cheating.

Here’s my issue. I am starting to feel some type of way about the cheating again. I don’t think he is cheating now. He is actually very attentive and caring and loving and really doesn’t have time or space to cheat…that I am aware of. There’s just no unaccounted for time. He doesn’t even make me ask, he always tells me where he is. But I feel like it just happened all over again and I’m mad at him. Now that we are older and more mature, I realize that if he had done that today, I would leave him.

Some days I want to leave him. I mentioned it to him about how it bothers me. He was apologetic and felt terrible all over again but then said how his younger self was so stupid and childish and selfish and had no business getting married and he’s so bad that he hurt me.

But I’m hurting now and I can’t really look at him the same. Is this normal? Is something wrong with me? He’s a great man and has done nothing in over 25 years to break my trust but I just can’t shake the feeling.

I don’t know what to do about it…

TL;DR - husband cheated while engaged. He confessed after we got married, during the first year. I am starting to feel resentment all over again, over 25 years later, even though I forgave him and we worked through it.

I’m a woman from the Middle East, specifically Saudi Arabia, and I’m writing this post while shaking and crying because I genuinely don’t think I can keep living like this for much longer. Please, if there’s anything I can do to build a life in a country that respects human rights and gives me the freedom to live as a human being, I’m willing to try.

A little background about me: I’m 24 years old, Saudi, and I’ve left Islam. I’m forced to wear a niqab, and I genuinely cannot go anywhere in public without covering my face, even if I’m already wearing a hijab and a loose black abaya. The thought of spending the rest of my life like this is suffocating me. Not being able to walk or run freely, or wear whatever I want outside without having to cover my entire body in an abaya, is destroying me mentally.

I recently started thinking seriously about my future, and I literally began shaking with anger and grief. I realized that I’m being forced to live in a way that feels like I’m being oppressed and buried alive under layers of black fabric, all because of social expectations and a religion I no longer believe in and consider untrue.

I’ve also been thinking about the kind of family I want to have one day. The reality of marriage here terrifies me. The system feels deeply unfair to women. A wife can face enormous obstacles when trying to divorce, and she doesn’t automatically have the same rights to her husband’s property. Marriage is often arranged around family expectations, with the husband’s primary expected role being to financially provide, rather than building an equal partnership with someone who genuinely loves you, respects you as a person, and chooses you because of who you are. I want to marry someone I love, someone who loves and respects me in return, not someone chosen for me by my family.

I feel genuinely hopeless sometimes, and I’m willing to do almost anything to get out of here and finally live my life. The problem is that immigration requirements can be incredibly difficult to meet, whether it’s the financial requirements, the need for work experience, the availability of jobs, or all the other conditions.

I feel like I shot myself in the foot when I chose to major in English. I was an excellent student in high school and could have pursued almost any major I wanted. But I was pressured into choosing a university close to home because my family threatened that if I enrolled at a university farther away, they wouldn’t take me there or financially support me, leaving me without the opportunity to attend university at all. Despite everything, I worked incredibly hard and graduated with a perfect 4.0/4.0 GPA. I did my absolute best with the circumstances I was given, but now I’m scared that my degree won’t be enough to help me leave.

My dream is honestly so simple. I want to be able to walk outside every day without feeling like I have to wrap myself in black fabric. I want to have hobbies like hiking, running, and walking in nature. I want to experience the freedom of being outdoors without constantly worrying about what I’m allowed to wear or how people will judge me.

I want to have a family someday, too. I’d love to meet a man who isn’t Muslim, who wants a family like I do, who respects women as equal human beings, values his wife as a partner, respects mothers, and actively participates in raising his children instead of leaving all the parenting to the mother. I want a relationship built on love, mutual respect, and equality.

The thought that I might live and die here without ever experiencing any of these things is absolutely killing me. I’ve spent so many days crying over this. I keep imagining a future where I never get to experience the most ordinary things that so many people around the world take for granted, simply because of where I was born.

I’m posting this because I’m desperate, and I genuinely don’t know where else to turn. If you’re from a country that allows people like me to immigrate, and you know of a realistic pathway with requirements that aren’t impossible for someone in my situation to meet, please tell me about it.

If you have any suggestions, advice, personal experiences, or ideas about where I could start, I would be incredibly grateful. I’m open to exploring any realistic option that could eventually allow me to live independently and permanently settle somewhere I can be free.

I’m exhausted from hoping things will get better here when I don’t see that happening. This post is my desperate attempt to reach out to anyone, anywhere, who might be able to help me find a way out.

You genuinely cannot imagine how grateful I would be for any help, advice, or even a little direction. If you’ve read this far, thank you. It means more to me than you know.

My wife or should I say soon to be ex wife cheated on me with her boss and I’m trying to decide if I want to out her to family and friends since she try’s to act like such a good person

I rent one of 3 rowhouses that my landlord recently put up for sale. her and the realtor decided without me knowing to put me and my neighbours spare keys in a lockbox at the entrance of our homes to make future viewings easier.

today I was working from home when I heard someone trying to open my door. when I went to check he had completely opened my door walked in and was in the entrance when I confronted him he took off and ran, he looked rough.

i convinced myself I must’ve left my door unlocked. but when I looked back at the ring camera footage he had a key and unlocked it. I called my landlord and she asked me to look and see if the lockbox was tampered with. this was the first time I heard of it. I went to check and it was completely gone. meaning this person had the keys to mine and both my neighbours homes.

after speaking with the neighbourhood he’s been identified as a known drug addict that has been breaking into peoples cars, backyards and now this.

my landlord had the locks changed after going back and forth but I still feel a unsafe. he seen what the inside looks like if there was anything he was interested in my front door has a window he can easily break if he wanted to come back. or he can come back be mad the locks were changed and break the window for entry. im a girl living alone in my 20s he’s a man in his 40s.

im also afraid If he gets in trouble with the authorities since I reported him he will get angry and seek revenge basically giving him another reason to come back. I have no idea what to do at this point im afraid to go to sleep and im so angry to be put in this situation.

I’m F17. My little sister F5 has told her school that our mom hits her. My mom does not hit us at all. She hasn’t laid a finger on us and she certainly doesn’t use anything to hit us. However, my little sister went to school and told them my mom hit her with a wooden object. My mom has genuinely never done that. They came to check, and she went to the bathroom and took out a piece of wooden equipment and said my mom uses this. They now said they’re gonna escalate the situation.

My sister has a history of showing traits that are different. These include running onto streets, cussing people out, hitting us and having severe tantrums. She is currently being evaluated for any possible reasons for this behaviour. But, we never expected that she would do something like this. We don’t want to say anything to her out of fear they’ll say we’re trying to influence what she is saying. My little brother who’s 6 obviously didn’t report any abuse and didn’t say anything about that. But he’s quite shy so he didn’t step in to say what she was saying wasn’t true (which I’m not blaming him for ofc). I’m so scared for the future. My sister doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation and my mom is worried out of her mind.

I understand this is protocol and it’s in place to protect children. But my sister is genuinely making it up and I don’t know what to do.

Today I moved into a new house that’s 650 square feet bigger than my last place and had a couple friends help move my stuff. After my friends saw my new place, one of them insinuated that him and his girlfriend should move in to help pay rent. I just laughed and didn’t respond, as we were in the middle of the move, but now it’s really bothering me and I’m not sure if I should say something or just wait until he asks later.

Their current living situation is falling apart and they live pretty dirty and pretty much smoke and drink all evening after work. They also fight a lot and are very draining socially so the last thing I’d want is to live with them. They are good friends and times are tough but it’s hard to sympathize when they aren’t doing anything to improve their situation besides the bear minimum.

Is it just me or is it uncalled for to make this assumption? He said it like he’d be doing me a favor also but I don’t need their help nor want to live with them. I’m not sure if I should just message him now so he doesn’t think that’s an option in the future.

I (23F) went on the best date I've ever been on yesterday. The guy (34M) was absolutely lovely, he was kind, polite, and considerate. I usually split money on every date I go on, but he insisted on paying for everything. We talked about politics and we agreed on it all. He was brilliant and I was so excited to go on another date.

This morning I decided to look him up online because I had asked him about his work and I didn't fully understand, so I thought I'd have a look at his LinkedIn and figure out what it actually is. Then, unfortunately, I found no LinkedIn, but I did find a Facebook post from another man with a photo of my date saying congratulations on his marriage from 2023.

Sure, it's possible he got divorced since, but in his culture divorce is not very common, in fact it is very rare. Plus, 3 years is such a short time, it seems so unlikely that he got married and divorced so fast.

I don't know what to do. I cannot and will not date a married man, but I don't know how to bring it up to him. If he IS divorced, it is very awkward to admit I stalked him. If he isn’t, he may just lie. Any help is so appreciated!

Edits: Spelling

He gave me an STI that lasts 2+ years and has no treatment, a cancerous strain of said infection. My friends are saying im a bad person for not telling her but i think its none of my business. What do i do?

Edit: putting it in my perspective yes i wish someone told me, im going to find a way to tell her without involving myself in their lives

So me and this girl have been talking recently. I’m 22 and she’s 28. We were in my bed and we sort of just started talking about life goals and our own ambitions. So I tell her what I want for myself and what I’m really aiming for, and she’s telling me about her dreams and her own vulnerabilities. And it turns into this deep conversation that feels like it’s only you two in the world.

But randomly, right in the middle of it, she just cuts our convo and asks for sex. It was super abrupt, and I really wasn’t feeling it since the switch was so sudden, I wasn’t really horny. I didn’t want her to feel bad, so I just went through the motions, but I couldn’t really get into it cause obviously the conversation beforehand had zero lead up to it, and it felt like we just cut a really intimate conversation.

I’m pretty sure she noticed cause afterwards, when I tried to give aftercare, she decided to go home. And the rest of the night she ghosted me. I felt pretty bad and it rubbed me the wrong way. But the next day she just messaged me like everything was normal and nothing happened. We aren’t together yet, and I don’t know if this is sort of dramatic, but I don’t know if I even want to get together since this isn’t the only thing that’s happened while we’ve been talking. But I just don’t know if I made a mistake or misread the situation. When I mentioned it again, she just ignored the message and moved on to the next topic.

Weight bearing in a relationship. Literally.

I am 20F and I have struggled with body image since I was a kid. I’ve always been big, tall, broad, husky you name it. I stand 5 ft 11 in and weigh roughly 220lbs.(99.79 kilograms for our friends across the pond)

I am dating my lovely boyfriend, 20M, and he stands to 6 ft 2 in, and weighs around 130lbs.(he’s a twig)

Since we’re so close in height, I struggle to feel small, and feminine at times. Me weighing more than him gets to me when he tries to make me feel small, like picking me up. I have yet to experience the Disney princess twirl because I’m afraid he won’t be able to pick me up, or in doing so he’ll get hurt.

We both go to the gym, we both eat normally, I’m convinced it’s down to biology at this point and I’m forever cursed in being built to carry a child.

All I’m really asking for, from you lovely strangers in the internet, is some advice to kick more fear, or brutal honesty telling me I should give up on the dream of being a princess.

I (27m) am considering taking my children and running away from my gf {26f). We have been together for 7 years but the past 3 have been rough. We both work decent jobs and make decent money, we have a nice house and three beautiful children.

My gf has sever ptsd from a situation with her ex, it was a DV that led to him no longer being with us. She struggles with this along but refused to go speak to anyone or get help. When she has an episode there is no control or communicating with her. She acts on pure emotion and says and does a lot of hurtful things. For the last three years she has become increasingly abusive, started with a slap, and we are at full blown beating me, trying to pull my hair out, and saying anything to get a reaction out of me. I will admit, I can be a grump sometimes and can hace a tone of voice, or say “wtf” but I have never layed a hand back on her or verbally attacked her, honestly more so from fear of her reaction.

This last fight was the worse we had. She brought the kids into it, kept yelling and hitting, she forced me to leave house , once I did the cops were called by neighbors. She even started saying stuff about hurting kids to bother me, she has never done it, but has used it against me recently and I don’t want to loss my children. She even woke them up at 2am yelling at me, and did not care if they slept, got mad and took off with or youngest baby. Should I take these threats seriously? Or Her and her family have money and she has threated me to take kids and never let me see them again, I come from a poor family and wouldn’t have the legal team.

Is it crazy to be thinking about packing my kids a bag, and running away to a DV shelter? I want to help workout it out for the kids but how can I ? She won’t change anything.. I would go to family member but my gf did not like most of my friends or family and wouldn’t let me talk to them or else. So a lot of people I would go to help for I no longer have a relationship with.

I’m tired of being hit, and yelled at, the constant anxiety from the anticipation of when her next episode will start. I’m not searching for legal advice but anyone with similar experience that think they could help?

Update : I have reached out to a DV shelter and they are gonna help me make a plan and get me some legal advice. I have to stay with her for awhile longer. Thank you all for the advice and kind words. Felt much less alone after.

I (34F) have heard alot of people say 'everything' shower and I have no idea what this means.

Isn't every shower an everything shower? I can wash my body, wash my hair, wash my face, shave everything in about 5-10mins. Am I washing wrong? Am I shaving too much? But how can you stand prickles growing so dont you just have to shave everytime?

If I dont wash my hair, the next day is a oily mess. Im so confused. I dont know if Im doing shower things wrong or if this is just a young slang and im too old to keep up.

Can someone please explain this to me?

My fiance (M30) never liked musicals of any kind unlike me (F23) I love musical theatre, there’s this upcoming event of a musical I really want to go to but I didn’t say anything because i wasn’t sure I was gonna be able to secure tickets, when the tickets came out, I bought 2 without asking my fiance if he wanted to go, I know I did bad with assuming, but if he wasn’t coming, I was going to take my mom instead. But I told him first about it cause I wanted him to come with me.
when I told him, he obviously didn’t sound excited which is the reaction I expected, but then he started acting like I was forcing him to go, only because I bought the tickets before saying anything first, then he started making passive aggressive comments like “I’m gonna get super drunk that day” “Don’t be mad at me if I fall asleep during it” which I didn’t like and I told him I didn’t understand why he was saying that kind of things, when he only had to be honest if he didn’t want to go and that he didn’t have to go, but then he repeated a few times that he never said he wasn’t coming to the event, so he’ll go with me. Idk, can someone tell what to do or if I’m in the bad because I didn’t ask him before buying the tickets???

Edit from the future: Thank you so much everyone for the advices, I really appreciate each one of them, this really help me me see this whole situation so much clear, I will be definitely be taking my mom and I’ll try to have the best time with her. But I do not deserve this kind of behavior and I shouldn’t feel bad for wanting to share something I enjoy with him, he doesn’t deserve the ticket and I’m really gonna give more thinking about the engagement because this small thing can follow us for the rest of time together. And I really don’t want this for my future.

My “boyfriend” and I technically broke up in July. Long story short… We were together a little over two years, and during that time we went through a lot together. We lived together, we lost two pregnancies together, I had two surgeries, I lost two dogs, we spent a lot of time with each other‘s families, and my mother got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The reason we broke up is because out of nowhere he decided he wasn’t ready for marriage or a family. I am 37 years old, and these are things we talked extensively about wanting very soon. His parents even gave him their rings and I was expecting an engagement this past summer.

Since we separated, we have continued to hang out regularly and it’s as if we are still together. When we split, I moved back into my house. When we lived at his house, we would wear shoes inside on occasion. At my house, I prefer shoes off, especially on rugs. Pretty much every single time he comes over I have to remind him to takeoff his shoes. He often refuses and says it’s too much of a hassle because he’s just going to have to put them back on when we leave to go out to eat. So, I’ve been flexible despite wanting to be shoes off house, and let him wear his shoes on the wood floor. Tonight we got back to my house from a date night. He proceeded to go sit on the couch, on the rug, with his shoes on. I asked him not to do this, he refused, so I asked him to leave. He pushed back, but ultimately left. I told him that it was disrespectful and he said he just wasn’t going to take his shoes off, so I told him “well that settles it, nice knowing you.”.

I guess my question is should I hold my ground? I know it’s just shoes in the house, but I feel disrespected time and time again.

I’ve gone through 3 pairs of wireless Bluetooth earbuds (two AirPods and one pair of Sonys) and they all break in the same way: some piece of hardware inside (maybe the microphone or something) gets damaged, causing the sound coming out of the earbud to be way quieter than it should be and loaded with static.

As far as I can tell this is caused by me sleeping with them in (I listen to asmr content to fall asleep to) and laying on top of the ear with the bud inside.

Is there anyway to stop this from happening again or do I just have to stop listening to stuff in bed?

I (36M) rent a house with my sister (38F). I came out and have been openly out since I was 27. My sister came out as bisexual about 6 years ago and is also open about her sexuality.

My sister was in a 5 year long same sex relationship with another woman (37F). A little background on her ex, she was previously in a same sex civil union that ended badly. My sister met her as she was in the process of finalizing her divorce. Essentially a situationship that ultimately led to a relationship. I told her that this probably wasn’t the best way to start a healthy relationship but ultimately she chose to continue her relationship. In all honesty, I didn’t really care for her ex but I think that has to do more with me thinking she was not good enough for my sister due to how their relationship started.

From what I’m aware their relationship was going well and was relatively healthy. She would come over to our house to hang out, have dinner and would at times spend the night. However about a year ago, her ex started to harbor some internalized homophobic feelings alone with some existential uncertainties that ultimately led to the end of their relationship about 5 months ago. My sister was sympathetic to what her ex was going through and decided to play the role of a supportive friend. I wasn’t fond of it since I also dealt with a similar situation with a previous partner and voiced my concerns with her. I ultimately decided to stay out of it since it really didn’t affect my life other than the venting session my sister would have every once in a while.It got to a point that my sister could no longer be there for her and decided to go no contact with her in the hopes that they could go through the healing process. All was going well, or as relatively well as healing goes, until contact was made roughly 2 or 3 months into it.

Here’s where I’m starting to feel irate and conflicted. I considered our house to be a safe place for queerness to exist. However, with her ex’s views on queerness and her belief that queer people will ultimately go to hell, it feels like I can’t be my authentic self and this home is in a sense under judgment. I have no issues with them remaining friends but she has started to spend more time at our house including spending the night.

Her ex owns her house, lives alone and is about a 20 min drive from where we live. I previously discussed with my sister about how her ex spending the night was odd to me since she lives fairly close. I also told her that I will not cook or invite her to stay for dinner when I’m hosting dinners with my queer friends. I’m not sure if I’m out of line and need to be more emphatic to their situation or if my feelings are being dismissed. Would greatly appreciate any advice and suggestions.

I’m 14F and both my older brothers are off to college in a foreign country. My mom went with them because they’re minors and can’t do banking stuff on their own. My mom has done everything since I was a kid so I have no clue how to live on my own. Quite frankly, it’s exhausting. My father is home, he is working so I don’t see him often and he is basically as useless as I am.

I do not know how to do laundry. I’m going purely off of guesses from shows (separating whites and colored) and what I’ve seen my mom doing and I’ve been using one detergent because it’s the only one with picture instructions. Im not exactly sure if I’m doing it right. Just pressing the first button I see that makes sense (mix then auto dry when it’s done).

There’s food my mom left behind but I haven’t been eating well because I don’t know how to cook and I’m scared it’ll run out. I’ve basically been surviving on eating a proper meal every 3-4 days. The rest of the time I’m lowkey just eating bs. I’ve dropped a few kgs in the past week and I’m very burnt out. I have no clue what the hell my dad is doing for there to be so many dishes everytime I wake up. But I gotta clean all of them bc I don’t want roaches in the kitchen. I clean everything every morning. I wake up at 10ish and I’ll be done getting the house in order by 1-2pm (it’s not much I’m just slow asf)

My stomach is consistently hurting and my heart rate is super high. I wake up with my heart rate sky rocketing. My body acts like I got trauma everytime a door opens. And, do I gotta start waking up earlier or some shit because why does my washing machine take a million years to dry clothes? Is that normal? I can only wash one thing per day and I don’t trust myself to wash twice because whenever clothes stay in the laundry machine too long after washing without me drying it they start smelling funky idk man. I’m constantly going out to take my mind off work and I’m mainly eating deep fried plantains (all I know how to make :<)

Oh yeah and the moment my mom and brother left I renovated my brothers room to put a bed in front of the tv and basically set up my brother’s tv like a monitor to my computer and now my back is in constant discomfort and I gotta wait til my mom gets back to see a doctor cus dad’s useless and I’m pretty sure they won’t let me in the hospital by my self when I have no clue how to book an appointment and the road is too busy there to go by electric scooter.

Does anyone have any tips/adivce on how to figure everything out or make my life easier. I can’t find any good tutorials for things and I do call my mom sometimes for help but shes very busy doing errands with my brothers so I get no time with her. I need a less time consuming way to do school work, group projects, and live along side the maintenance of taking care of a house.

I (22m) was in a 2 year long relationship with my ex until a few months into this year. In January there was a time we were both in bed together making out and touching each other, i was positioned behind her. I thought we were leading in the direction of sex so I started to get undressed (I was wearing shorts and had begun to take them off), when I did this she started to look uncomfortable so I checked in and asked if she was okay to which she said no and that she didn’t like that, at this point I stopped what I was doing and redressed. After this had happened I tried to speak about it while I was there and comfort her as I never intended to make her feel uncomfortable or pressured, no progress with this was made so I ended up going back to my place to give her space and sent her a message to apologise for making her feel uncomfortable with my actions. Following this we both messaged about it at which time she had said that what made her uncomfortable was my getting undressed. I apologised for this and assured her that I wouldn’t do that again without checking in sooner. She stated she wasn’t angry and that it “wasn’t that deep” but that she needed to think. I encouraged her to take the time to do so and also not to minimise the situation whilst doing this if she had been. A few hours later she messaged me saying she didn’t want space and I called her, at which time we had a short but albeit emotional conversation on the phone to make sure we were on the same page. The next day she came over to mine and we spoke the situation out and she told me she didn’t like that behaviour due to past experiences she’d had. I fully understood this and apologised.

As of right now we have been broken up for months for completely unrelated reasons and have gone no contact, however recently she shared this information with one of our mutual friends while I respect her right to do that if she needs to, she is adding that I touched her without consent and then later called her crying about it which is not how things played out. Our mutual friend told another good friend of mine who spoke to me which is how I know this, and I’m concerned and worried regarding how many people in my immediate circle know this version of events.
What should I do, I have messages that show that my perspective is accurate but I’m afraid most won’t give me the opportunity to speak it over. Whilst it hasn’t yet snowballed and I’m not sure I’m expecting it to. I can’t help but worried this could cause issues for me at my job.

My wife is a insanely hard worker. She works at a lab as a histotechnologist. She's been having lots of issues with coworkers and their lack of professionalism. She been very upset lately. She makes about 15 more an hour than I with really good benefits too. Almost 8 weeks of paid time off a year. She asked for a demotion a few weeks ago from burnout and was granted it today. She took this as a huge sign of disrespect even though she asked for it. She's been really having issues with one person and has contacted HR with little to no help. She called me today telling me she's going to go collect her stuff and just never return. I was trying to explain to her that she was being too reactive and should take some time on it, or atleast put in a 2 week notice. She hung up on me. I don't know what to do.

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I (17F) need some advice about my relationship because I genuinely don't know how to deal with these thoughts anymore.

Me and my (17M) boyfriend dated for 7 months now, when my boyfriend and I first started dating, he had a bunch of girls on his Instagram, and some of them were OnlyFans models. It made me really uncomfortable, especially because I started overthinking why he was following so many girls like that while he was in a relationship with me.

The thing that hurt me the most was finding out that he had a second Instagram account. When I told him that I was uncomfortable with the girls he followed on his main account and asked him to delete them, he ended up sending their accounts to his second account so he could still look at them there.

That honestly damaged my trust in him. It wasn't just about him following other girls anymore. It was the fact that I thought he had listened to my concerns, only to find out that he had found another way to keep looking at them. He told me that he felt guilty about what he did and that he eventually stopped. I want to believe him, but I still think about what happened, and I can't seem to move on from it.

Now, I find myself having intrusive thoughts about him looking at other girls again. I'm uncomfortable with the number of female friends he has, and I get paranoid that he might be looking at girls behind my back or doing something similar again without me knowing. I don't want to seem controlling but I keep finding myself asking him who he talks to, what he does and who he goes out with each time.

Sometimes, even when nothing is happening, my mind goes back to what I discovered at the beginning of our relationship. I start wondering whether I can genuinely trust him or whether I'm just being naive by believing that he has changed. He has a problem with lying too, and I genuinely feel so overwhelmed with everything.

I don't want to spend my relationship constantly worrying about other girls. I don't want to become controlling, constantly check his social media, or feel like I have to compete with other women for my boyfriend's attention. Because I find myself looking through his following list every week, And it is taking a toll on me.

I want to know how I can stop these thoughts from taking over my mind. How do I distinguish between my own insecurity and a genuine concern about my boyfriend's behaviour? How can I rebuild trust in him without constantly feeling paranoid?

And, honestly, if you were in my position, would you be able to move past something like this? What would you need from your partner to feel secure in the relationship again?

I'd really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

I (M20) go to this restaurant somewhat often with my family. There’s a hostess that I’ve seen there a few times and I think she’s cute but idk how old she is, if she’s single, or anything about her. I was there a few weeks ago with one of my friends and she apparently remembered that and asked if it was a table for two again but I said no cause I was with my family. I can’t remember exactly but I think she said something like “oh I’m wrong again” or something. She was smiling and I think she was laughing. She seemed super nice but idk if that’s cause of me or just cause she’s working.

I’d wanna try to talk to her but I have no idea how, or if I should. I can’t tell if there’s any chance she’s interested or if she was just being nice. The only thing I was surprised by was her remembering me because the last time I was there was three weeks ago I think.

I (M22) have have known Jess (F23) since kindergarten we have been through a lot over the years especially after her parents kicked her out at 18 when she came out and a few years later she had me in her wedding party, she and Amy (F25) have a good combined income and have decided to have a child, which is where we are now, last Friday they invited me over for dinner at their place and near the end they got a serious look on their faces and started how important I was to them and how when they started talking I was the first person they thought of to be their donor, I told them I was absolutely honored but asked if I could have some time to think it over which they agreed to, I absolutely want to say yes but I have one thing going through my head that makes me feel like a selfish asshole, I want to be in the kids life not just like a cool uncle but as a sort of father figure, I feel like I have no right to ask this of them but I would feel weird saying I’m the Childs uncle despite knowing otherwise, I’m not asking to be a part of their relationship or anything like that, but this is eating me up inside, I’m in no way questioning their ability to be parents, I know how not having a father around affects kids as mine was always too busy with work growing up, and I’m not saying that I believe for sure that it would be a factor in their kids life, I guess what I’m asking is how can I bring this up without making myself sound like a jerk or that I’m questioning their ability to be parents

My ex (21 M) cheated on me (19F) repeatedly , and loved humiliating me in public .. even ruined my birthday had me crying the whole day there’s more but I don’t feel like reliving that right now.

The way his life started falling apart after the day where he disrespected me the most is almost like, scary.

First, his family turned their backs on him. Then he became homeless. Spends all his money on a car he can’t even move All within a month. I was there when his dad put all his belongings in the front yard for him to get bc he refused to get them out his self. (All Happened around march) He lives in his car still to this day and he caught felon charges for hurting me stealing me a day before my due date and the police made him loose his job … right now today he has nothing and he is so stuck in his mind I really feel bad for him I tried helping but all he does is treat me worse. So I’m leaving him alone.
All jobs deny him bc of his charges and he had an interview the other day and when he went to it somebody stole his bike.

Has something like this ever happen to anyone else ? Should I feel bad ? He always says everything’s my fault .. but how ?

I struggle to maintain relationships online. If someone texts me, I'll reply fairly quickly, but if the conversation keeps going back and forth, I eventually stop replying. It's not arrogance. I just can't spend my whole day texting. I'm studying for one of the hardest exams out there, and I also like DIY projects, cooking, and winding down with a show. If I reply to just 10 people (friends, parents, aunts, neighbors) and keep going back and forth, that's easily 1-2 hours gone.
People also ask why I don't call more, but a call is at least 20-30 minutes each, and I just don't have that for everyone regularly and i like to give my full attention and care for each one if i’m calling or meeting or texting them.
I usually leave messages unread until I feel free enough to reply, because my brain says "it's not urgent." But most people seem to hate that, even though I wouldn't mind at all if someone did it to me. I'd just understand.
I don't want to come across as mean, and I really do want to make new connections. But does having connections mean never having alone time?
How do you keep good relationships with everyone (family, neighbors, old friends, new people) without burning out or seeming cold? Any tips on setting expectations, replying less often without hurting feelings, or making calls work?
How the people who replies fast and always are doing that? Are they on their phones most of the time?