I'm 36 years old and that thought hunts me very often. But I'm going that direction without any exit.

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Have you ever gone from having a fun social life to suddenly having almost nobody to talk to? Because that's pretty much what my life feels like right now.

I'm 22F from India. I spent two years at university, and honestly, those were some of the best years of my life. I had a great friend circle, was pretty popular, and had so much fun. But after leaving university, everything changed. I barely talk to my old friends anymore, and some of those friendships turned out to be pretty disappointing.

I also had a male friend I was really close to and used to share almost everything with. But he's busy with his own life now, and we barely talk anymore. I understand that people move on, but I still miss having someone I could talk to about anything.

The ironic part is that I'm someone who genuinely used to enjoy being alone. I felt more productive on my own, read a lot of psychology books about becoming mentally stronger, being emotionally independent, and not getting too attached to people. I always thought being able to enjoy my own company was a strength. But now, it feels like that very mindset has backfired on me, and I'm struggling with a kind of loneliness I never expected.

I'm currently preparing for a competitive exam in January, so I've been staying home for the past five months. My parents are pretty strict about my studies and don't really let me go out. I also live in a tier 3 city, so meeting new people and finding things to do isn't that easy.

The thing is, before university, I didn't have many friends either, but I never felt this lonely. I guess experiencing a fun social life and then losing it makes the loneliness hit differently.

I have hobbies like dancing and singing, but they don't really fill the void of having people around. Seeing my old friends hang out with others gives me FOMO, and I can't help wondering if I'm wasting my 20s sitting at home while everyone else is making memories.

I know my exam is important, and I want to focus on my future, but I also want to enjoy my life NOW. I want to make friends, go out, have fun, and feel like I'm actually living instead of just studying and waiting for life to get better.

Lately, I've been feeling increasingly low and worrying that I'll end up alone forever. I know that might sound dramatic, but that's genuinely how I feel sometimes.

Has anyone else experienced this after leaving university? How did you deal with the loneliness and rebuild your social life, especially when you couldn't go out much? Am I overthinking things, or is it normal to feel this way?

I'd really appreciate some honest advice from people who've been through something similar.

I’m 24, I earn good money, my career is on paper what is traditionally aspired for at my age.

I’ve come to the realisation I’ve let it be the thing that defines me, my days generally consistent of just working and then falling into shitty dopamine habits from porn to doomscrolling,

I’ve got few other hobbies that aren’t tied to my work, I’m super lazy and can’t stick to anything new for more than a few days.

I’ve tried being consistent in the gym but can’t seem to stick at it even though I know it’ll be good for me, I’m super skinny and feel like I’m constantly getting skinner.

I wish I could get off social media but I work in the field so it’s not really possible, if anything I actually hate it, I never post on anything personally about me and hate the idea of it.

I live alone in a desirable place, my job is remote. I can go back home to see my family whenever but after a few days I always just want to be away from home again, knowing that I will be pretty alone.

I have friends I’d like to see but the thought of messaging them asking to meet up gives me killer anxiety, the fear of rejection kills me.

I’m single and never been in a relationship, I’ve had what I think is interest from women and typical drunken encounters, but sober I can’t bring myself to let women know I find them attractive.

I constantly hide the way I feel about life, and like to help others with their own problems instead of my own even though I know the person I should be trying to fix first is myself. I lie about how I’m feeling and a lot of things to make others think I’m doing well in the parts I know I’m not.

I feel like I’ve been awaiting the moment something is going to click and change, but it still hasn’t happened yet. I have friends, none I see day to day, but I’m aware they’re moving forward in life, getting into relationships and generally building towards something, and it’s really dawning on me I’m really not.

I wish I could stick to things I know I need to focus on, I wish I didn’t have constant anxiety about myself, I wish I didn’t hide behind ADHD as the reason for all of this.

Just fed up.

Hey everyone. Asking because my overhead recently went up about $1k a month between a new lease and CA gas prices going up. I drive a hand-me-down, paid off car, but gas is still about $400 a month, so uber and/or DoorDash is kind of out of the picture. I already have an office job while still in school, so work is pretty confined to business hours. Other than that, I spend the scattered remaining hours doing some mixture of homework, chores, gym, or seeing whatever friends I can, if time permits. I’ve worked both retail and food before, but both are somewhat hard to come by nowadays because I don’t necessarily have 20+ guaranteed hours a week to provide them. Times are hard on the boulevard so I’m taking any and all suggestions. Give me the obvious, the obscure, and the crazy.

My heritage is very.....complicated to say the least on my dad's of my family there isn't a lot of information on what heritage he is as there is a lot of gap's and my grandparent's weren't the most present people. It's a lot of speculation.

"See great grandad X was found in this location in this year, BUT he moved and his father was in (INSERT distant country here)"

As for my mom's tribe, I wasn't raised in that culture at all growing up and was a 2000's internet kid (doesn't help that I was basically in the UK until I was a preteen).

Also for the Americans here, I'm from Africa so tribes are an important thing. Just saying Polish or Greek or Italian in terms of heritage is not a thing here as you got to get very specific on what subculture of let's say Greek you are. (For example).

I'm though very westernized, only speak English and quite frankly coming to realize in my early 20's that I have no connection to any of my ethnic identities (it's hard as my country is tied to an ethnic identity so claiming my nation as my heritage is tough) and I'm not really yearning to connect to them.

Is it reasonable to not identify with the given culture that your ethnic heritages have and reject them outright?

You get paid, pay your bills, buy groceries, and somehow your money disappears before you’ve even had a chance to enjoy it.

Is this really what everyone meant when they said growing up would be fun? 😭

Does anyone else feel like they’re working just to afford existing?

Husband and I just moved in to an apartment, and this is my first time ever living in an apartment.

I would love to introduce ourselves to our immediate apartment neighbors and give them a little treat. Something like "Hey, I'm X, my husband is Z, we just moved in to apartment YYY, and here's a little treat from your new neighbors". I love baking so I was thinking cookies/muffins or something like that.

Is this too much? It's weird to me that you might live so close to people you don't even know the names and who they are lol

EDIT: I would drop note and treats by their door and let them decide if they want to respond or ignore, which is totally fine if they prefer to ignore as well lol

This is the Mamas & The Papas. If you had this kind of music to listen to, what would it do to your mood?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duoxOeUhKcA&list=RDduoxOeUhKcA&start_radio=1

ETA: Oh! Another one, Beach Boys:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apBWI6xrbLY

I just had a pretty tiring fortnight and I was very close to a burnout but I remembered I feel relaxed after doing chores. I had few pending from a very long time, it took me an hour to complete them but at the end I was zen. I feel so calm, relaxed and refreshed now. Yes it did take effort but it was rewarding.

Does anyone else feel the same?

I’m 29, I’ve been poor my entire life. I’m currently working at Lowe’s, I’ve had 15+ entry level jobs up until this point, Home Depot, Burger King, your local gas station, door to door sales, call centers, security, you name it. I’m currently studying coding to maybe give myself a better opportunity. So I want you the reader to know this isn’t coming from a place of laziness, unintelligence, or complacency. If I had to guess I’m about even or maybe a little under your average poor 29 year old right now. I don’t have the energy to do it anymore, I have a shift in about an hour in a half, and I’m dreading having to spend six more hours in a place that I genuinely hate being in, and then I’ll have to do it tomorrow, and then 8 hours the next day, and the next day. And not doing it isn’t a choice because I have to pay rent, and buy food. I’ve ran out of all the “mental health” days I’ve given myself, because retail jobs don’t really do mental health days. I genuinely can’t do it anymore, and I’m not sure what that means for me.

I have dreams, I want to write comic books, maybe start a lil band and perform wherever and whenever I want, we don’t even have to be big I just want to perform. I’m a gamer, I’ve been a gamer since I was at least 9, I’ve written fully detailed scripts, functions, aesthetics, plot lines and gaming devices for things that only exist in my head. I have a fucking Batman story written down that would genuinely make you cry, and then leave you with a sense of hope at the end, and it’s not “oh my friend wrote this thing and it’s kinda cool” good it’s GOOD, it’s genuinely so good. And it will never be published, because I don’t know anyone at DC, I have no prior comic book experience and by the time I got out of my previous environment and into an environment where I can think about these things a bit more in depth, about who I am and what I want beyond survival, next thing I know I’m 29 and I got bills to pay.

I don’t even know what I’m asking for posting this, maybe just to see if I’m the only one failing at life this hard, I don’t know. And the fact that I keep saying I don’t know to things I used to know horrifies me. I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t even really want to code I just happen to be good at
It, and it’ll at least pay me enough to not live in a mold infested apartment in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know. But it feels like I’m going to die without living as who I am in my head. Or at least getting the chance to try. I don’t know.

I live w my parents and i fear itll just get worse when i move out

My job stress and general responsibility stress has caused me to eat very little. I have had these sorts of issues due to adhd, but since i got my call center job, i am so extremely stressed during the week that i pretty much only eat dinner and even then avoid it. Im scared its making my gains at the gym nonexistant and is bad for my health.

Its not just my job. Its not being able to chill enough to slow down in general. I do not relax much. if i have "free time", i get so paralyzed with deciding how to spend it that i just dont do anything. Its not just my job, but also general responsibilities.

Im seeking therapy, but im still new at working full time. i have worked before, but at previous jobs, even during super busy shifts, i could still chill enough to eat. Call centers are generally just shitty to work at, or so ive heard, so i am hoping its better with another job. my psychiatrist has me on medicine for anxiety but i cant take it unless i absolutely have to bcs it will knock me out. it doesnt make me less anxious, it just makes me sedated, so its only good for blood work or flights or smthn.

Anyone got advice for adjusting to "adulting" and allowing myself to slow down? im not even doing half of adulting yet and im struggling, so i am hoping i can get this under control before i am living alone. Im not even doing a good job at it, i had to clean a ton of mold out of my fridge from food i forgot to clean for weeks and my laundry is piling up.

Some info here.
I am paying off student loans and I make less than 40k a year.

I have a college education, I also get job offers for decent jobs pretty regularly in tech. I went to college to work with software, and now I have relationships with some software companies and I get contracts from software companies.

However, it’s not enough money. I was working with one primary company for a while because the money was steady and I liked the work. Then I got a new manager and was abruptly let go. I guess I didn’t realize how vulnerable I was.

A few weeks later I’m homeless. I understand that I need to get some other job to earn the money for a new apartment, but I don’t even know where my skills would translate.

I know this seems like a fairly straightforward process for a lot of people but for me I actually am not sure how to dig myself out. I currently have 2 really good contracts and a few smaller contracts that I COULD be working on and I WANT to. But I’m homeless, I have no place to work.

I’m turning 27 and I’ve never had a stable job. I landed one this year and the fear of committing to it weighs over me. I’m from Australia so we’re very far from all the countries people choose to live in. I spent my 20s in unhealthy relationships, bouncing from job to job, undiagnosed and unmedicated adhd (until recently) and dealing with mental health issues, combined with overall low self worth. I’m in a healthy relationship now with my boyfriend who I absolutely adore and means the world to me but I keep thinking about how I haven’t been able to live overseas like I would have wanted to. I hear alot of people saying it’s something you should do and gain life experience while others say to build your career etc. I’m in the weird age where I feel like it’s time to start taking life seriously since where I’m from (Australia) the cost of living crisis is cooked. I know my boyfriend wants to buy a property together before things get more expensive but I’m afraid I’ll be locked in to something and won’t be able to be flexible. I don’t know how to navigate this time in my life. My mind constantly goes from: move out of your parents house where the trauma happened, see how you think and where your head is at when you’ve left and have your own space to just travel now while you’re young with no responsibilities

LinkedIn ain't working out too well and would like a good referral for tech 🫩✌️

Recently I was dealing with a scary situation where I was worried about being kicked out of grad school (over what I thought were overblown accusations). Unlike most people, I didn't really have anyone to reach out to. I live with my boyfriend but he didn't really have the space to listen because he has been dealing with his own personal issues. Has anyone dealt with the situation where they realize no one really cares about you even when you're dealing with a serious issue? Luckily I won't be kicked out of grad school and will be receiving free therapy in the meantime so no need to suggest that.

TLDR: 23 Year Old Graphic Design Graduate, been unemployed/job hunting for 3 months to little success.

When I was in high school/college, every year felt like a new chapter of my life, with new characters, settings, the works. Even during the mundane stuff, there was always something clear on the horizon, biggest thing being a college education, which brought all sorts of freedoms, new friends, and loads of self improvement. Then four years and one fantastic internship later, here I am, home alone on Friday night. (No better time for exercise.)

It's not as if I've just been applying to jobs, I exercise a lot, and hang out with my friends regularly, and enjoy spending time with my family as well, but it just isn't as fulfilling for me; and the main reason is that the next chapter isn't set in stone like previous years, it's outside of my control.

Here's my main issue, I want to start my independent adult life, to start my career, meet new people, maybe settle down, etc, etc. And for any of that to happen, I NEED a job. I need a job to get money, so I can pay bills, rent, etc. But despite all of my efforts, I'm still unemployed, so I feel stuck.

Now you might be saying, "Cmon son, it's not so bad! You can still meet people while being unemployed, and living with your parents!" And to that I say, how? I don't have disposable income for long term hobbies, (first thing I'm doing once I'm employed), and even the free hobbies like a run club, A: Require me to drive a ways to even attend, and B: I'd much rather work out alone. That's not enough touching a love life, which is a whole other can of worms.

Now look, I know relying on a major life change to shake things up is flawed, but what can I say? I'm not sure how to navigate a stage of my life that is solely in the hands on recruiters and HR? I'm doing the best I can to improve my applications, cover letters, etc, but the market SUCKS, and it doesn't seem like it's getting any better.

I KNOW I don't NEED to drastically change my life, but I can't stay here forever. There will come a time when all my friends eventually do their own thing, it's already slowly happening! I'm scared that I'll still be here in a year, single, unemployed, living with my parents, I don't want that, but despite my efforts, I'm still stuck!

I guess if I had to close this out, it'd be with a question.

What do you do when everything is uncertain, when you've tried to make the changes you need, but it's not working? What do you do when you feel completely stuck, and not sure how to change?

I recently turned 21 years old, and lately I've been struggling with feeling like I'm not enough.

For some context, I studied humanities in high school, then completed a higher vocational degree in Multiplatform Application Development. After that, I completed a Master's degree in Full Stack Development at UNIR (it's a university's own qualification, not an official master's degree), and I'm currently enrolled in an advanced DevOps and Cloud program at UNIR.

Despite all of that, I don't currently have a job.

I've applied to jobs in software development as well as jobs outside my field, and I've mostly received rejections or no response at all. It has become exhausting, especially because I feel like I don't have many opportunities to even get started.

My parents, my girlfriend and my only close friend don't make me feel bad about being unemployed. They understand my situation and support me. In fact, my father actually wants me to continue studying for now and build as much knowledge as possible. He doesn't want me to rush into getting a job yet.

Objectively, I know I'm only 21. I know I haven't had decades to build a career, and that opportunities, timing and luck play a role. I also know that being employed doesn't make someone more valuable than someone who isn't. But emotionally, I don't seem to believe that.

I feel like society expects a 21-year-old guy to "go out there and make something of himself", get a job, make money and become independent. And sometimes I feel like people judge your worth based on whether you're working and how much money you're making. I think I've started doing the same thing to myself.

For example, I have around €3,100 saved. My grandmother gives me €100 a month, and my family sometimes gives me money for birthdays, holidays, etc. It was my birthday and I received around €500–600 from my family. I almost never spend that money on myself.

I save most of it for the future, or in case I really need it. I sometimes spend money on other people instead. I've bought my girlfriend perfume and a Switch game, bought my mother perfume, and recently bought my father Sennheiser headphones for his work. But when it comes to myself, I often feel guilty about spending money.

Sometimes I'll choose very basic food, without sauces or seasoning, simply because I feel like I'm wasting resources. I'll take short showers and sometimes avoid showering as often as I should because I don't want to "waste" water. I'm also very conscious about using electricity.

And this is where I think something is wrong with the way I'm thinking.

I've started turning money into a kind of system for deciding how much I'm allowed to occupy, consume and enjoy. As if I need to earn the right to eat something I enjoy, take a normal shower, turn on a light, buy something for myself or simply enjoy having money. I know intellectually that this isn't rational.

I also try to contribute at home. When my mother isn't around, I'll sweep the entire house, clean the cat's litter, clean the cat's food bowl, and generally try to help however I can. I don't want to just sit around and contribute nothing.

But I still feel like I'm a parasite or a "dependent" because I'm not currently earning money.

At the same time, I don't really know what else I'm supposed to be doing. I'm studying, trying to improve my skills, applying for jobs and trying to build a future. I'm not spending my days doing nothing.

I think the biggest problem is that I've started believing that my value as a person is somehow proportional to the amount of money I generate.

I would genuinely like to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

Did you ever feel like you had to earn the right to enjoy things or even use basic resources?

Did you ever tie your self-worth to your income or employment?

How did you change that mindset?

And for people who were unemployed or financially dependent on their family in their early 20s: how did you deal with the feeling that you were "behind" or not contributing enough?

I'm not necessarily looking for reassurance. I'd genuinely like to hear different perspectives, including criticism if you think I'm approaching this in an unhealthy or unrealistic way.

Well I don’t really know what much to do except for to post something anonymously.so he we go life has always been tough for me especially growing up and not fitting in and being “different”. But I guess and as we get older we come to expect that. But as life went on things got harder and I lost my mom to a car accident which broke my whole world and I have always struggled to pick the pieces back up. And recently life been really tough because I lost my job after trying to get my very first place and on top of that my dog needs medical treatment that I have been struggling to pay for but I love my babies to the moon and back just like my mom did to me and will do anything and everything for them. So I guess jm making this post for advice as someone who is 22 lost there job and is fighting harder than ever for his family how do people get through it all.