i’m visiting bc i want to eventually move there and am looking at graduate schools abroad. (i’m from the US and simply cannot afford grad school here lol)

my mom keeps flipping out over me going there by myself bc i’m a woman. first of all, i’m a big girl. second of all, i’m almost 30. germany is safer than the fucking southeastern US at this point.

how can i reassure her that there is simply nothing to worry about?

he has given me several compliments and has flirty vibes with me but he's also charming and charismatic with everyone. tells me a lot about his life and his family (prompted and unprompted) and asks lots of questions about me too. he is several years younger than me and probably has rocks for brains but he is soooooooooooooooooo gorgeous. tall.... pretty blue eyes..... hunky..... i did invite him to my halloween party and he RSVPed "maybe" which should probably tell me everything but i decided that it tells me nothing

doesn't help that i haven't had sex in the year 2026 so i am buzzing with horndog energy

Per title, looking for thoughts on how to handle asymmetrical relationships (friendships included I don’t mean solely in a romantic way) where you really like a person and want them in your life but feel like they never give back the kind of care or prioritizing that you need?

I keep ending up in situations like this and am never sure if it’s worth talking to the person about it, letting it go and leaving them in the past, or letting it go but also pulling back so that you’re giving back roughly what they’re putting forward. My instinct is to want to talk to them about it because obviously if you really like them you would want to continue to prioritize them, but I also feel like there’s no point trying to get someone to treat you better than they want to by default. It’s like if they wanted to they would and I often end up on the other end where it’s like yeah if I wanted to I would but I don’t want to, when I don’t give back it’s usually because I simply don’t care about someone that much.

I have multiple friendships right now where it feels like I either need to talk to them about this or let them go and I’ve been in turmoil over what to do about that for months .-.

seeing a lot of this discourse about Sacha Baron Cohen lately and it reminded me of how unfunny i thought he was even at the time Borat came out, and how he relied too heavily on lazy shock value

While I understand that efforts to program children into becoming a specific archetype are often in vain, it depresses me when it's obvious that someone is raising their daughter to be one of the popular girls, especially when you know that they were not raised the same way.

My sister, without any prompting from my 6 year old niece, is signing her up for cheerleading. She takes her to get her nails done and a few times a year takes her to the salon for a glamour day to get her hair and makeup. She has an over flowing closet of pink and purple dresses. My niece is enjoying all of this, but it feel a bit much.

When we were kids, we only wore dresses on holidays and our daily wardrobe was t shirts and jeans. We wore no makeup until we were motivated to spend our own allowance on Wet -n- Wild from the drugstore. We cycled through various activities, some girly, some not before landing on dance (tap) and music (voice and saxophone). It almost feels like a mild indictment of our childhood, like she believes her life would have been easier if she had been more heavily conditioned into femininity from an early age.

And I’m not talking about EH.

I mean come on… there’s was definitely some chemistry there am I right?

TLDR: Therapist pushing “health at any size” rhetoric on me (a person who is medically overweight for my height).

He essentially told me that being 50 pounds overweight is irrelevant to one’s health and also said he thinks BMI is nonsense. I lost my temper and yelled at him which I felt bad about because I mostly like him (except on the semi-rare occasions when he parrots woke talking points like he did today). All I asked was if he was authorized to give me a referral for GLP-1 medication. He could’ve answered the question, said he wasn’t authorized, and left it at that. Instead he suggested that being overweight doesn’t materially affect my life and that I should fix my attitude instead.

Fuck him. I guess I will keep smoking cigarettes until I get lung cancer bc I can’t pay for Ozempic out of pocket, don’t know if my PCP will prescribe it/insurance will cover it, and at least smoking will keep the pounds off. It feels like he never really cared about me at all if he can’t understand the impact that being fat has on a woman’s life.

favorite covers that beat the original?

i've gotten this a LOT. nevermind the irony of assuming i'm judgmental. u/camelsticks you're not alone

Also anybody still active on tumblr, cause I love tumblr.

I have to take a melatonin, CBD, magnesium, trazodone combo to sleep most nights. I dream all kinds of weird shit, positive and negative. Occasionally those dreams involve casual sex or being in a relationship with whoever my psyche deems my crush of the night. Last night it was an old crush from high school who I never got to get to home base with. A month ago it was a female coworker who I definitely had mommy issue transference with. A few months before that it was John Mayer.

I wake up and think about them wistfully for about an hour until the crush fades away. I imagine it’s much more innocent than whatever porn brained freak shit my boyfriend is thinking about doing to other women while he’s awake. A year ago I’d be falling into an OCD spiral about what it all means and beating myself up for it all day. Now I literally couldn’t care less.

I'd like to design my place like this. What does this say about me?

I've been lurking on this sub as a 23m and I find this space quite interesting, so thought I'd try posting something.

a lot of people complain about loneliness nowadays, and so you see a big counterculture encouraging you to go out to events, strike up conversations with strangers (even cold approaching). I've been doing some of those things, and it's not even like it's not enjoyable, it's more that it's made me realise I don't mind being alone as much as I thought I did (or maybe I'm just coping lol).

I finished my master's and I'm living with my parents now until starting a phd hopefully next year. tbh I only made a small number of friends at uni and I talk to them every now and then. but my closest friendships I've been lucky to retain since even before then: my best friend lives abroad and we call once every few weeks, and I have 2-3 close friendships I made in high school. sometimes these friends invite me out drinking or to some event and I have a nice time.

all my hobbies are totally solo, but I suppose they can be done in groups: for example I've been going to a run club. the people there are friendly, and I enjoy the conversations even if it's sometimes boring small talk like 'what do you do, where are you from'. fundamentally, I do enjoy talking to people and when I have social batteries I can be extroverted. nobody thinks I'm weird or anything.

but as nice as all this is, it feels fleeting. ultimately I feel like apart from with my parents, I'm moving through the world *alone* on some cosmic level. it's a strange feeling: I'm not sure whether it's terrifying, or peaceful, or whether I'm secretly miserable and trying to philosophise in order to cope. I felt it most strongly when I solo travelled for the first time recently. I went to several cities, and stayed in hostels, meeting lots of cool people. but it's the kind of thing where you have a really deep convo with someone in the hostel bar, but the next day you have go somewhere else alone so it's nothing more than a nice memory. I ended up spending a good chunk of the trip going to museums and walking tours solo during the day, although in the evenings I was with others.

I guess looking back I just became used to this. in high school I had lots of friends, I have so many great memories from that time, but I was also pretty needy and used to sometimes annoy them because I was so full-on. I then had a long period of what they call 'monk mode'. it made me much more emotionally aware and I had no choice but to figure out how to regulate myself. one thing that's beautiful about this is that even after spending time with others, I always have my own little world I can retreat into. but I'm worried it's unnatural? what I miss most actually is fighting with someone. nobody has insulted me in a very very long time haha and I miss caring so much about what other people think.

also I'm single (as you might guess). I don't have any weird incel BS going on, I just don't really speak to that many women my age. I'd definitely like to, especially being intimate. but I don't really know where to start other than Hinge and I feel anxious about making a profile.

apologies if I've been rambling, but I guess overall I'm okay with this but I want to open up to the possibility of a deep connection when it finds me?

Was just chilling at work. This chick walks up to me and tells me that I give off “school sh**ter vibes”. I am a pretty quiet guy sure but I do smile and wave to all of my coworkers. Just wondering how I can improve this energy I’m giving off. I don’t want to scare my coworkers

Suddenly a NEET. Planning to move with friends in a few months, and I am isolated till then.

Ordered shiny things to put in my ears…monkey brain like glitter.

I'm not 100% sure what this sub is or who that girl is but I feel like it warrants its own sub by now

noticed this pattern today

and missing my shitty the ex who ghosted me

cheer me up

please n thank i

I didn’t grow up in the US so I don’t get it. I have a family friend who lost their job and needs hip surgery now. They are putting it off because they can’t really afford it now but like, why not just get it done and ignore the bill? Does it really affect your credit? This is an older person who already owns a car and home? What would they even need their credit for? Is there something im missing???

Is there any genuine repercussions for not paying a medical bill?

took my dad and now my favorite musician doug from tagabow gets diagnosed. he said he doesn’t have insurance either as he is a full time musician

i will always be an outspoken critic of our current system where those who are vulnerable suffer the most. i rarely had insurance as a kid and don’t now as a student because i simply can’t afford it out of pocket and my mom doesn’t have a job with a plan

your employment should in no world be the deciding factor on if you are allowed healthcare