I’ve been seeing this eccentric professional lab coat lanyard girl. I chalked up her charmingly immature and eccentric behavior to the spectrum. She always wants monchichis and calico critters. She makes little crafts out of pictures of us. It’s really cute, but like a lot of her traits, doesn’t match the age and demeanor of who she purports to be. Not once did I suspect what I think I found out today.

Every morning I get a good morning text around 7 then she vanishes until the afternoon. Never get calls or pictures of her in transit or before around 3. Her lunch breaks (when we meet) are at 4pm. Before I started meeting her, she would complain about her lunch and I suspected maybe she was a college student living at home.

Now I get it. It’s not a job, but an afterschool internship. She hides her lanyard bc it probably gives that away. Her caretakers drive her around and watch her location, which is why she never brings her phone to our meetups, and why we have only ever met in my car in her lunch break. So many things about her make sense now.

Here’s what happened.

She pocket dialed me and at the end of a 3 min recording about something that smelled bad in the lab and how her nose doesn’t work, she asks her friend “are you ready for the quiz tomorrow? Well you took AP Bio, right? So you should be fine”.

My first thought was that she is pranking me (seeding the “accidental” pocket dial to fuck with me). I knew we were age gapping, which I was already iffy about, but, well, hopefully she’s at least an adult. Could still be a college student and budding girl boss living at home with strict rules, right? I’m going with that for tonight.

I can’t sleep

Edit: fuck I’m so dumb. She doesn’t even know how to kiss. I’m still hoping she’s 25, got bored, and this is part of an elaborate scheme to make me go away.

am I going to die alone

One of my favorite things about him is how indecipherable he is. Where does the facade end or begin? This guy is essentially method acting ALL of the time. Or is he just being himself???

Did you guys enjoy You Can See Everything?

Like, as a woman, I get so tired when men are like "I can't even understand why women aren't lesbians, what do women even like in us men?" And then women go "big protector, angular features, uhh hands ✨."

Girl. Am I the only one on earth who goes feral for big beefy men when they're thick and have a big butt big thighs big pecs big biceps and that smooth large back and that solid smooth stomach, the fat betweeh the stomach and the back thats smooth and gym built?

And before you guys ask, no I'm not bi or lesbian. I don't feel anything for woman boobs or ass, I just don't (please don't assume I'm calling women ugly, obviously people who are attractive can exist in both genders, but personally they don't do it for me sorry 😭.)

Why? It's fine if others do but I don't like the uneven symmetry of the fat itself, the small back relative to the rest of the body (imo muscular men look "thicker" overall cuz all of the body is thick which I like, more mass I guess?) and the large areolas personally. And yes, I hate having to explain this each time that I'm not into them doesn't mean I'm repulsed 😭. Anywho, that was my 2 cents. I hate having to explain this each and every time but I do feel like a lot of men are badly socialized into thinking theyre totally undesirable.

The royal Tenenbaums is a red scare movie

Probably schizo but I get the feeling that to be an a-lister you must first eat a baby or something like that.

29 year old art hoe lite here! I don't have kids, don't wake up before 1pm on the weekends, can't set boundaries with this guy that's been jerking me around for 9 months, have PMDD that causes homicidal ideation, have body image issues that cause suicidal ideation and spend 4 months out of the year in a state of profound melancholy.

I have passively encountered some parenting related content by osmosis and let me tell you about how I am going to exclusively breastfeed for 3 years and baby wear like a !Kung woman, get only BPA free autumn tone Montessori toys and my kids gonna be eating lamb lollipops off the bone at 6 months. I won't even look at a slice of gabagool when I'm pregnant and I will read my child 20 books a day.

dead silence beside the sound of my shitty 10 year old instant polaroid camera disturbing the deceased. found a grave of someone who died in 1899. made me realize my own mortality. also the fact i’ll never have enough money to afford a grave with a 12 foot granite hooded angel looking down upon me

I’ve been revisiting TV girl a lot. Looking for low energy bedroom type stuff

Her reasoning was basically like the idea of getting new clothes for Christmas and just being so excited (and I'm quoting her here) "makes it look like you don't get nice things very often, kinda like Charlie Bucket"

I like their music but love their vibe. They're not really trying to imitate anyone or come across as particularly edgy or intellectual. Not falling into the trap on nonchalance either.