I keep seeing people still give out outdated passing tips or give tips on what not to do but actually wont negatively affect your chances on passing. I think its important to note fashion for young men change over time and different hairstyles that are more traditionally male may actually feminize your face if you already had feminine features.

for example guys my age usually wear polos or fitted tees with baggy jeans or bootcut jeans, pierced ears, pierced nostril piercing, modcut, etc.

though it may change again in a few years. maybe different styles fit best to make you look more passing.

outdated tips rlly will just make you look like a tomboy IF it doesnt fit you. (i am a victim of the very baggy hoodie “wear your hood on 24/7” advice as a person who is built like a short stub)

What are your thoughts on cis people who have changed their name and refer to their birth name as a "dead name"?

For some reason this really gets to me.

It frustrates me because "dead name" comes, not from your name being 'dead', but rather the fact that trans people were (and still are) buried under that name. It was historically the names we had in death, but not life. A dead name.

Cis people don't have that connection to the word and it just comes across as insensitive to me. I understand if they are ignorant, but they're always so weird & uncomfortable when you correct them. Ugh. Getting whiplash here when I find out Annabelle is actually cis and just didn't want to be called Rosemary.

I usually don't care about things like this, but for some reason this one really gets to me. I think I hold it close because the word connects me to the struggles and suffering of all those who came before me.

Am I too over the top in thinking like this?

EDIT: Been reading through all the replies and had some really good feed back. This is definitely a non-issue. I think just one I hold a little too personally with how closely I connect it to trans people who have passed away.

Cis people can refer to birth names as dead names. I'll still feel discomfort but that's not for me to put on them

If you are under 18 please DO NOT participate in this. (18 to 40+ are welcome). Let’s keep this as authentic as possible (no false information please).

My girlfriend (Male to Female) and I (Female to Male) very recently started being sexually active (both of our first times being in relationships like this, we are teenagers) and I’m terrified I could accidentally get pregnant, this is very embarrassing to talk about so forgive me if I’m not explaining well, but we were rubbing against eachother and her tip accidentally went in me for a bit without us really noticing. She didn’t finish in me but I’m still really scared I don’t know what to do I can’t get plan b I can’t get a pregnancy test I can’t tell my parents and I can’t think of anybody else I could tell I’m even too scared to talk to my girlfriend about my worries please I need help

I know this is a topic that varies ftom person to person, but im curious.

I’ve recently discovered that I’m trans. I think I want top surgery in the future but am also thinking about going on T. I know things that I see lots of posts about - like bottom grow and atrophy - but what are the things that you feel no one really told you about and you discovered after being on T?

i’ve been out for over a year now, and my parents are really performatively supportive. so they know my theatre company is super supportive, and will absolutely never deadname/misgender me. so my parents absolutely always misgender and deadname me at home, or in any situation when i’m not around people from my theatre company, even at school where my name is changed in their systems. cps showed up to my house last year, so my parents want to seem like great, supportive parents in front of theatre people, but they do not use MY name or pronouns any other time. today my mom brought a friend to the house, and introduced my brother and i to him, saying “this deadname/luca, my daughter son.” and i think that was just insane?? deadnaming me and using my preferred name and calling me a ‘daughter son’ just makes fun of my whole identity. i never correct them because it’s not really gonna do much, but they just say “well i’ve known you for so many years i can’t just switch my thought process, it’s so hard for me idk what to do blah blah blah” bro ive been out for over a year, and you can use my name and pronouns easily with my theatre group, so what the fuck is the problem? has anyone else experienced this? what do i do???

Okay so situation.. despite being trans for 3 years (im 15 years old) i never correct people on my pronouns, I pass but my mom usually tells everyone im a girl and I'm super shy when it comes to my pronouns so I dont correct anyone. ​

And i have a crush on a guy right now and I think he actually has feelings for me but he thinks im .. a woman. I dont know if he's bi, and I really really love him. We fit together so well, but I cant keep pretending im a girl, it's not gonna work. I'm literally so embarrassed I found someone who im genuinely in love with, but im lying to him. I feel like im catfishing him, I'm SUPER stressed.

I love him so so fucking much but god I dont have to heart to tell him im not a girl. I have no clue where I go from here.

Just to provide some context I intend to look into phallo soon. But before I do all this, I’ve been at least trying to pay more attention to penetrative sex

So far, it has genuinely been kinda… boring. All my enjoyment came solely from the front and. I don’t feel anything at all in piv sex so Not pleasurable at all. I’ve not sought out a ton of hookups or anything but like so far? I don’t know if I’m just bad at sex or something LOL

But that doesn’t matter too much. I just wanted to ask about other people’s thoughts. Is vaginal at all enjoyable to you? Is there some trick I’m missing? Or is it just another reason to seek out phallo.

Hey everybody, i’m 16, 17 in december, and live in the UK, i’ve recently been hit with a wave of dysphoria that’s worse than i’ve ever had before and honestly I’m struggling a lot.

A month or so ago i spoke to my Mum about starting T, through gender gp, as it’s genuinely impacting every moment of my day, from going to school, going out with friends, and even just sitting in my room. She’s being pretty resistant and saying ‘she doesn’t want me to get cancer’ and asking ‘what it’ll actually do’. The conversation ended with her saying okay send me some links to read further into it and we’ve not spoken about it since. She’s also said that gender gp being online is putting her off also. I really think all these things are her way of saying no as to not accept that I AM trans, and that it isn’t ‘a phase’, for context i came out almost 4 years ago, and i try be as stealth as humanly possible.

So what I’m really asking is if anybody can advise me on how to talk about it further with my mum, and hopefully have a better outcome.

I’d also appreciate any tips anybody has confidence-wise, not so much about passing but the internal struggle a bit more, how to FEEL more like a man and come across as a man personality and behaviourally, not just looks.

Thanks in advance guys.

Hi, chronically ill ftm who doesn't work out. I've been on T for two years, and before I was on T always told myself I would work out consistently once I was on T because it would be so much easier for me. Well, two years in, I've done a couple half-hearted workout starts but always dropped it after a few days because of the hassle and soreness.

I have weights and a pull-up bar at home, and my partner helped me design an every-other-day routine for me that is tough but not intense enough to trigger my chronic illness, so really the only barrier is psychological.

So my question is: can you help me build a list of reasons and encouraging things I can physically post in my room as a reminder of what I'm trying to achieve?

I already have:

-to get hotter

-so I can pick up my partner (she can pick me up)

-to lessen chronic illness symptoms/inflammation

-so I can impress people at gay arm wrestling events

-for the post workout high satisfaction

I'll take anything even if it's silly/zany. hit me!

I have a very typical story- cishet friend I’ve known since I was like 14 (in my 20s now) keeps hitting on me. I moved before I started T so he hasn’t seen me irl as a passing man, but I’ve told him I do look like your average guy (he’s told me outright that he’s not into any other men.) His reasoning is that it doesn’t matter because I still have ‘the parts of a girl’.

I know just from talking to him that he doesn’t respect me as a guy, and I doubt he’ll ever start. He comes from a very small-town-conservative background and isn’t the sort to break the mould.

The reason I have a hard time dropping him is that I have a really hard time making friends (as the only queer person that I know of in my area, and as a disabled person), and I’d be losing a really big part of my social life during a time when I’m struggling. He’s been supportive of me getting top surgery and a lot of things like that in a really important way, so it’s just hard.

I’d wonder if he was a chaser, but I genuinely don’t think he’s aware of trans people other than me. That’s how small-town we are (well, not so much me since I moved away, but definitely still him). I guess that doesn’t disqualify him from being a chaser, but my point is that it doesn’t seem to be a pattern.

I know I should drop him, but my family don’t see the issue (they think the fact that he’s interested in someone like me is a sign that he’s a really good guy. My dad is actually praising him for this situation) and I just need to hear it from someone else.

Thanks in advance for any help.

Im 1 year on T and I noticed that after having sex my uterus hurts. First I thought its because my bf is not small and he penetrates me but even if I pleasure myself without penetration in a few minutes my uterus starts to hurt.

Im also on birt control for almost 3 months but i dont think it has anything to with it

It hurts just a bit and kind of similar to period pain/cramping but with really low pain and uncomfortable sensation.

I dont really heard about this, or I cant give it explanation and im interested if anyone heard anything similar or is it even ​connected to hrt

Edit: I am currently 16

I am writing a letter that I plan to give my parents in contrast with alternate good news this November. I’m confident that I’ll be able to get my emotional points across, but I’m unsure of the scientific aspect; my family, especially my mother, look at assigned sex as an immutable aspect of a person, so I feel it’s important to elaborate on it in my letter. From my understanding, a majority of people are born with matching primary and secondary sexual characteristics (e.g. vagina paired with feminine fat distribution). With HRT, the primary sexual characteristics remain relatively unchanged except for small adjustments (e.g. bottom growth or vaginal texture changes for ftm), but the secondary sexual characteristics can change pretty drastically to the extent that someone who was previously perceived as one sex can be be perceived as the other (Assuming proper dosage and no/little androgen resistance). Because of this, HRT can move someone along the ‘sex spectrum’. Are there any articles I can read regarding the science of trans people before medical transition? Please correct me or educate me more if I have knowledge gaps.

I want to cover this in my letter without a sudden tone change (personal to objective) or at the minimum ease into it. I also need to explain it succinctly. Additionally, I’m aware that surgeries further affect someone‘s ”placement“ on the spectrum, but would prefer to leave more drastic measures out of my letter.

I will discuss a more in depth version after the letter, but I just want to be able to put it out there (aka ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ give me my testosterone) and make a point that sex is not entirely immutable.

TL;DR how can I briefly describe sex change via HRT alone to make a point of sex being mutable in a letter to my parents?

I’m starting to see a rise in online FTM personal trainers, and while I think it’s great, some of them I think are scammers. Curious of everyone’s experiences. Have you been scammed or know someone who has been by these guys or groups? The one that comes to mind is MM. Are things guys legit or are they conmen? Also, what about Liam Lazore…anyone train with him or his partner, Alex? There was talk there weren’t natural, which is fine & their choice clearly, but do you think that’s true? I know we don’t need a FTM designed without & just move the freaking weights. Like train hard & eat well.
What do you guys think?

I'm looking for advice on dealing with parents who aren't transphobic towards trans people in general, but they're moreso depressed and inconsolable when it's you, treating you coming out like it's their worst nightmare come true? how the hell do you deal with that kind of parent, especially if they do everything in their power to avoid talking about it or looking for a solution? this is NOT intended to be a "my feelings im so sad" type post at all. whenever i see discussions about parents on here it's most often that they're blatantly hateful and transphobic. what do you do in a situation where you being trans is killing them inside, even if otherwise they're decent parents?

The general consensus from my fellow trans friends is to give them a few years to come around, but I feel like that advice only works if you're not actively transitioning, which I will be in a month. I don't think i can wait around for a few years to start living my life. The current best option, it seems, is to transition when I'm away at university, assuming i get accepted

anyway, if you have a similar experience, i'd love to hear from you.

I know that it's different for gay trans men because men tend to be a lot more lenient on trans people but I feel like I'll have tough luck finding a woman who would actually want to date me, let alone marry me. I feel like I can't live up to the height standards that women want. Will a woman ever actually take me seriously? I don't see a lot of straight guys on here talking about their spouse and children as much as I do gay guys and that scares me a bit. Is it over? Am I doomed to be single

Every single time I go to get a haircut they botch it.

Idk what the deal is but I have yet to find a stylist I keep going back to, every time it's way to short, uneven, or they shave my sideburns without asking.

About to just shave my head and say fuck it no hair ever again cuz I'm genuinely over it.

Does anyone cut their own hair? How hard is it to get the hang of? I know that vague but I'm so done and don't know what to do anymore. I get top surgery next week and now I'm worrying about my hair like I've got bigger things to worry about rn let me rest 🙃

I haven’t changed much besides the name I go by and my pronouns. I want to know how to look more masculine besides cutting my hair! Anything helps 😪

Faz muito tempo que venho me questionando e pensando sobre isso, mas ainda tenho muitas dúvidas. Às vezes, gosto muito de ser uma garota, mas, em outros momentos, sinto uma disforia muito forte e até um certo nojo de mim mesmo. (Principalmente dos meus seios)

Por enquanto, não sei exatamente o que pensar. Minha cabeça está um caos por conta de tudo isso. Às vezes, fico pensando que talvez eu não sinta tanta disforia quanto outros garotos trans relatam sentir, e isso acaba me fazendo questionar ainda mais a mim mesmo.
Outra coisa que me pega bastante é pensar que, mesmo se eu decidisse fazer a transição, talvez eu nunca fosse um homem tão másculo quanto gostaria. Quando olho para outros garotos trans, às vezes sinto que não me encaixaria nesse padrão, e isso me deixa inseguro.
Enfim, ainda estou tentando me entender e não sei ao certo o que quero. Gostaria de ouvir os relatos de vocês: como foi esse processo de descoberta? Como vocês lidaram com as dúvidas e inseguranças? Em algum momento sentiram que tinham certeza de que era realmente isso que queriam?
Queria muito ouvir experiências de pessoas que passaram por algo parecido. Acho que ler outros relatos pode me ajudar a entender melhor o que estou sentindo.

Pretty much the title. I literally see everything I do as being feminine even extremely stupid things or like things that aren't gendered in the slightest and I really don't know how to cope with it. I feel like the way I talk, sit, dress, act, write/text, hell even eat is feminine. I keep trying every trans tip out there and just nothing works for me because I don't pass in the slightest. I feel like I can't even look at or exist in the same place as something feminine without getting dysphoric. It's so difficult leaving my house everyday and I literally have no hobbies because I feel like everything I do is too feminine or like I'm a woman doing it and not a man. How do I get over this? Is there a way to get over this? I know femininity isn't bad and stuff but I just want to feel masculine for once in my life. I've never really experienced gender euphoria before and I'm just struggling a lot to cope with being trans. I'm just really hoping someone can help cause everyone just says "oh you have to love yourself" and stuff and that isn't physically possible for me. I want to go out and do the things I enjoy but I feel like everyone is silently judging me and I just want to be able to show that I am a man somehow.

Hello!

I’m a visual novel writer, and one of my team’s new projects is a story following a FTM protagonist. The story isn’t directly about the trans experience (since it’s more of a thriller/crime mystery), but it does play a role in the events/reactions/interactions with other characters.

I really don’t want to fall unintentionally into tropes that plague trans characters in media, and want to write a character that people will be able to identify with and see as a good representation.

Any tips or advice or experiences are more than welcomed and appreciated!

Thank you!

I hate everything, I’m so fucking miserable everyday. I wish I could be a man but I can’t. I’m 16, I can’t transition. I don’t deserve it anyways, I wish I was more dysphoric so I could be a man. People say I should be happy I’m a cis girl, I’m not, I would only be happy if I was a cis man. At this point, I either find myself attractive but the idea upsets me or I feel absolutely nothing. I wish I was a guy, I wish I felt more like one. I can’t live as a woman, it feels painful and wrong, I’m filled with dread every time I look at myself and then I look at cis men or transitioning trans men and I get sad and jealous. No one sees me as a man or wants me to be one. Everyone wants to make me a girl. I tried to convince myself it was everything but dysphoria or if things were different I wouldn’t feel this way but I know none of that is true, I only ever wanted to be a guy and that’s it. No social motivation, no trauma to make me hate being a girl, I don’t hate women in any way(which is sad you have to clarify this or people will accuse you of it) I just wish I was male. I just fear I don’t want it enough or since men look funny to me, I’m just lying to myself or it’s like I wish I was dysphoric for whatever reason. I don’t know. I’m mentally unwell too, I have severe intrusive thoughts, I fear I do want to be woman and I attempted before because I thought I was becoming a girl. And I’m still denied transition, still denied any type of understanding and support while people who are perfectly happy and arrogant about people with mental problems that get to transition while I don’t then they shame me for how I am. I was also raised with so much internalized misandry and transphobia, all I ever hear is about how men are evil, stupid, and incompetent and about trans people that are criminals on the news. All that makes me think I have to be cis and a girl, because I have been taught girls are smarter, better, and more beautiful then men

I'm 24 and I've been on T for a little under a year. I'm getting top surgery next month. I'm from Kentucky as I said, so (given I'm interpreting the current laws about this stuff correctly + what others have said who I know personally), if I can get my surgeon to write a letter saying my transition is "complete" medically (not my terminology), I can get my gender marker changed. But I'm kind of worried right now that if I do get it changed, things will just get worse and once I get everything changed over (like my driver's license), the state will just undo that part for me or worse. I'm not sure if I should even bother. However, with being at the point where I pass more consistently, and thinking about trying to get a new job in the future, I feel like I probably should go ahead? Because it may cause more issues if I'm actively passing and I have a big ol "F" on my documents. I'm just scared of having another target on my back potentially if things get worse quickly. I also don't plan to leave the state until I have to. Has anyone else been in this kind of situation or have any advice?

I know basics like body hair,deeper voice,bottom growth the works but if I hypothetically go on Testosterone would I need to loose or gain weight,does it affect hair texture,acne, face shape ect?