It's been a bad week. I set a date for this Friday. Kind of accidentally told my boyfriend on impulse during an episode. And I saw him today.

I just fell apart once we were in the car. I gave him my razor blade from my wallet. I'm still not sure why the hell I did that. Because 20 minutes later I regretted it and remembered that I need it and I begged for it back and tried to pry it from his hands. Before just giving up and sobbing and shaking and melting into him.

Then he opened the hand holding the blade, and his hand was all torn up and bloody. Because he was gripping it tight enough to keep me from getting at it, so it cut him.

I couldn't say anything after that but "I'm sorry" over and over until he dropped me off back at home. He's the one thing I could never hurt like that. I can never forgive myself for being crazy enough and desperate enough to hurt him like that.

I have no doubts now that I need to die. How could a person who cut their partner with a fucking razor blade, how could that person possibly deserve to live?

Just needed to put this somewhere other than my own head.

I don't fully know if this fits in the rules, but I've been really having a hard time with self-harm and wanted to express how it feels. I wish you all luck in your battles.

I want to get help. I'm just scared ill be seen as some attention seeking kid with a few small scratches. I don't know if this is worth seeking help for.

Hey guys I'm new here, I always tell myself that my cuts just aren't that bad and that I'm a pussy for not going deeper and getting worse, but I js wanted some second hand opinions on how bad these actually are (these aren't fresh btw, they're almost a month old)

I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know

i got a new knife yesterday and meant to be a trainer, but i decided to sharpen it and cant stop think of wanting to cut more. specifically by the neck and mid arm. only reason i dont is because id feel very guilty if loved ones found out.

i havent cut for a few weeks but i accidentally jabbed myself and now cant stop thinking about it.

i couldnt care if i lost life, or if i kept living. i want to go into more detail but i dont know the limits of this subreddit.

(idk what a fitting flair is)

like they’re only a couple months old atp, if i had to guess like 5 or 6 but im scared they wont fade

i see these people on other social media hitting layers and i feel so invalidated because i only do cat scratches. i feel like i need a blade right now just to feel valid if i hit styro, even if it hurts. i dont feel okay. i tried to go a bit deeper today but couldnt, it just wasnt working.

im not encourgagin styro or any type of self harm, dont do it

They keep making me cut and do things i dont wanna do… i cant stop cutting… im at school and they convinced me to steal a scalpel from biology class… im terrified of what they might do with it… what do i do?

i’ve been like twitching uncontrollably and my parents want to take me to the doctor but i have fresh cuts and scars on my arms and i really don’t want anyone to see. i do have these arm sleeve things but im still so so scared

So basically about two hours ago(as of now), I was eating spaghetti and my mom comes down the stairs, says she is going somewhere and leaves. I sit there scrolling and eating. I get done and just keep scrolling. All of a sudden I get a really strong urge to cut And I don‘t know why so I just run up stairs to my room, grab a blade, and start cutting with no worries about the consequences. About 30 minutes have passed and I’ve just been making slices off and on. When I feel like I’ve done enough, I get up and put away my blade. Just then, I hear my mom coming in the garage. I panic. jump up, run to the bathroom, and turn on the shower. I think “ it would be suspicious if I was in the shower but didn’t get wet” so I have no choice but to take a hot shower while blo0d is still running down my legs. I’m in there about 20 minutes and actually take a shower which, as you might have guessed, stung a lot. By the time I get out, most of the cuts have stopped bleeding so I go to my room and start putting bandaids on the ones that are small enough. well, my mom walks in and I yell “I’m getting dressed!” and she says “okay, when you’re done do the dishes, and I got something for you.” so with my open wounds I put on my pants and go downstairs to do the dishes. She walks in the kitchen and says “did you see it?” and I say “no” so she points out that she got me my favorite candy bars.(ty mom) Even though I’m on the verge of vomiting and have no appetite for it, I pretend to enjoy eating one of them and then go to my room where I am now.

I’m still bleeding a bit at the time of writing this, but that’s because the walking opened them up again. I am utterly baffled at how I managed to hide it and act unsuspicious while shaking and acting very obviously guilty of something. This was a very unfavorable experience and I have P.E. class first thing tomorrow morning. I surely did not think this through in the slightest. Anyway, feel free to write questions or comments.

I always want to go deeper and feel like even when putting more pressure I just don’t. I feel a big part of that is the tool I use but I think I’m also afraid even though I want to. It’s a weird feeling. I just feel like my cuts aren’t valid and feel professionals like my therapist who asks to see my cuts doesn’t think much of it. Idk my thinking is dumb

I know they're not very deep, but this is them 2 months after and they haven't faded much. I moisturise and massage them twice a day but nothing seems to help. I would like to be able to not wear socks with sandals over summer and avoid the drama of my parents finding out. Any tips for hiding and making them heal faster?

Also I was curious as to what type of scars these are. Cat scratches?

Here’s a cute comic I made about my cat in a few minutes while I was studying. Idk. I’m fucking struggling. I want to bleed but I know that it’s not good to. I haven’t had my meds in about a week and just got them refilled, lost weight and am now around 76 lbs, 20 lbs underweight, my head hurts. I’m just so tired. I want it to end.

I made a comic about my cat (because he’s the cutest boy in the world. but also) because i made a poem a while ago about blaming my cuts on the cat. It’s a small comic, finished in two minutes, but it was a solution. And then I proceeded to fail and end up cutting myself again anyways.

Isn’t it insane the percentage of teenagers that attempt and, or, commit suicide every year? And when kids turn to drugs the adults blame them and say they are making bad decisions. Most cases, it’s the parents’ generation that fucked the kid up so badly that they feel they have no where else to turn. Kids do drugs to either feel something, or feel nothing at all. Kids either cut to feel something, or feel nothing at all. I fucking hate people who don’t get that.

They just call the kid a junkie and shame them for doing drugs or being an addict. Why the fuck do you think I can’t survive without nicotine or alcohol- Why do you think I cut my legs open everyday? I do this because of the shit parents I had. I do this because the school system treats us like animals rather than people. I do this because I find joy in nothing else anymore.

You should never have to resort to drugs or cutting for any reason- but I understand why people do, because I do it too. And people just don’t get that I make bad decisions because I’m already suffering.

I hate people. I hate myself. But I made a comic of my cat because why the fuck not?

basically just the title. like laughing and smiling while doing it

So, my cat has fleas (don't worry, we're getting this all checked out with a vet, it's just taking us some time to get rid of them) and while cuddling him I noticed that there were way more fleas biting my left arm with my fresh cuts than my right arm that was clean. Is it an exposed blood thing or is this something else? I'm not flea expert ans I want some help

so ive been struggling with self harm since like a little before the start of this year. ive only recently started actually using sharper things tho (i started out with just my fingernails cause i didnt wanna be caught, but after i told my parents ive just been escalating). recently, my friend who has also been struggling mentally revealed to me that she just cut for the first time this past sunday, and obviously im distressed for her and im doing my best to help her, but for some reason the urge to cut myself has been increasing. i think maybe its bc she just started and is already using actual blades, and when i started the most i ever used was a safety pin, and so it might be like a jealousy thing maybe? but yea idk. ik that other mental health disorders are competitive, so i was just wondering if its normal to feel like this abt cutting too

I'm really sorry for the weird question, I hope it doesn't trigger anyone. I don't want to encourage competition, I just want to understand how serious my friend's situation is, and how can I help her.

After how many cuts does cutting become a serious and concerning issue that requires professional help?

A friend of mine told me she’s made about 250 cuts, and she started 6 months ago. I think she’s keeping track of them, she actually gave me the exact number. I don’t know how common it is to count cuts, or if it’s cause for concern.

Is that a lot? What should I do? Should I advise her to seek help from a psychologist or therapist? How can I support her?

Recently I've really just been having a shitty time in my life and have started cutting way more frequently, and to sort of help me not get too carried away and so I have more excuses for it, I've been doing song lyrics and shit on my thighs. It keeps me more focused on making it readable than going deep and possibly fucking myself. I also use duller stuff for more control, so another good thing I guess. So far I've done a few Elliot Smith lyrics because his music really means to me, also a few random bands I like. Does anyone else do this or am I just retarded?

I've been clean a day and already want to cut again i already reached styros and I just want to cut oh my god my knife is upstairs I wanna cut so badly please help

I've been clean if thats what you want to call it for years but the past like month that itch is back and the ringing in my ears feels loud I don't know what to feel and just need to get it out it's like freezing me from the inside keeping it in

I go through quite a lot of bandaids. My depression has gotten worse, and I’ve been cutting way more. I don’t have a car, nor am I the legal age to drive. I need bigger bandaids. My cuts have been bigger than previously. Any advice? I could perhaps steal some from my grandmas house, but other than that what could I do?

I relapsed and cut deeper than ever before. It was one single half inch deep dermis/very shallow fat cut and I applied pressure with gauze for 15 minutes and then put a bandaid on top of it I couldn’t wash it but I will tomorrow morning in the shower. Am I going to get an infection? I didn’t wash my hands before using the gauze and I suffer from ocd symptoms and severe anxiety so I’m very distressed and any advice is greatly appreciated

Uh, so like. Tw for eye strain and DRAWN cuts, not real ones as well, it’s all neon colors