UK based here.

Daft question here but.. on a CV/résumé or in an interview, what sort of transferable skills do you put down/mention? Obviously there's the generic, working in a team, thinking on your feet, customer service etc etc, but is there anything else to add? I have no higher education and this is the only job I've had outside of retail so I'm kind of relying on what I've learned here to bulk out my résumé.

For context. I work back of house. So coffins, prep, hearse/limo driving and removals. Paperwork drives me mad so no intention of moving to an arranger role.

So yeah basically, How do i sell myself to other industries with what I've learned in this one?

I’ll keep it as brief as possible- A good friend of mine has a truly evil step-mother. Tale as old as time, she swindled her sick father on his deathbed (he was in the hospital, days away from passing when she had him change the will to “make things easier”), and has pulled some absolutely egregious stunts on the girls (my friend and her sister), and we are concerned that she gave them false cremains when she finally agreed to give them some, a year after his death.

We have googled pictures, but still find ourselves unsure. It truly looks like gravel, and even some dirt/stems?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I only just found this community, and it is so wholesome. What a nice reminder that humans are capable of humanity.

Hey!

I landed an interview with a funeral home as an apprentice- however I have upper arm tattoos and piercings above my lobe (industrial, nose hoop, + 2 helix)

I’m not worried about my arms since I’m wearing a blazer, but I am worried about my piercings. I looked into retainers (clear piercings) and makeup. Is that okay for an interview/on the job?

We use a cargo van as our flower vehicle. We put the vases in a plastic tub but even that slides all over the place. There’s got to be a better way. Who has engineered something more stable? Tell me what you use please.

My FH is currently looking to move on from our old caravan and maybe purchase something that can be used as a removal vehicle and possible lead/multipurpose vehicle. I'm honestly thinking maybe a tricked out Pacifica or something but I've seen some people using SUVs like the expedition or escalade.

Does anyone have any experience using these? If so, I'm interested to know what kind of trays/customized platforms you use and where you got one? In located in Ontario, CAN if this is necessary.

Any other suggestions absolutely welcome!

I am looking at the current funeral service education controversy. When I was in mortuary science school, I recall one instructor actually identifying the approved text book used in a course as an example of poor communication. ha ha Yes, the school's own instructor used one of the school's text books as an example of poor communication, which was definitely a huge problem in my own program and what I see every day at work.

There is a lot of critique out here on the working conditions, the challenges, toxic work environments, poor management, attrition, and the occupation's history of falling behind social change that has damaged a critical social service in the U.S. I am reading more on a growing body of critique that identifies funeral service education as part of these problems. For example, it is not producing visionary leaders, only test takers unprepared for a poorly paid occupation that is currently under siege, and has been for decades. And the work is so demanding that few have time to take on the problems, so they leave.

I found my own funeral service education to be unsupportive, too narrowly focused on task learning, and a very toxic experience with many disgruntled, angry fellow students. In other words, a very poor investment of my time and money. This partially explains the workplace toxicity and bullying we hear so much about. You have bullies teaching bullying to bullies.

Maybe some of us have never been there, but I want to say we all or a large percentage of us on call have all fielded the random late night call with a question.

Here's the stage. It's after office hours and you're on call for the night. At some point you get a call, and your heart starts pounding—its gotta be a death call. Who else or why else would anyone call a business at 8pm, 9pm, 12am or even 2am? But then you answer the phone and it's a person who has a question. Could be about pre-needs. Could be they want a phone number for a recommended florist. Could be to just flat out shoot the breeze.

What's your response? What's the stance/policy of your funeral home? Do you gladly answer the 2am inquiry? Or do you have some other response, maybe that they may call back after the office opens for the day?

Perhaps there are two answers to this question: the response you give and the response that you think is deserved. Either way, please enlighten the chat with your input.

Edit: yes I know I misspelled "night" in the title and probably made multiple other errors. Love you, Felicia!

Hello, next week I will be carrying my recently deceased grandads coffin to his cremation service.

My question is really related as to what to expect in terms of weight? I suffer with disc issues in my lower back and I'm concerned my injury might cause issues on the day, he had lost a lot of weight towards the end of his life and had become quite skinny but I try to refrain from any heavy lifting in everyday life that may aggitate my back problems, and when I have to I wear a back support on my waist whilst lifting.

There will be 4 of us carrying his coffin I have been told, myself (m) another male and 2 female relatives.

There are other close family members who could take my place if I deem it to be necessary but I fear it might be a sort of find out at the time situation, or upon advice would it be better to back out now before the ceremony?

I would be devastated to not have the honour of carrying my grandad as he was like a father in many ways to me but I don't want to cause problems on his final send off.

Has anyone been through this first hand with back problems?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Hello dear FDs.

First, I have to say how much I respect you all for the care and compassion you put into this job. As a psychologist who has worked with a lot of grief (professionally and personally), I have nothing but to utmost respect for you.

My best friend is burnt out and borderline disabled from this career. We live in Ontario, and each FH seems worse than the next, with horrible pay and low key abusive expectations.

I want to support her the best I can, and help her see what her options are outside of this career. It sadly doesn’t seem like it’s going to get better (in our physical area) and she’s trying to figure out her next move.

Any help or guidance would be appreciated. Anyone who has changed careers or pivoted, please do let me know what you found.

I’ve always been curious to ask what sort of activities you avoid or think twice about as a Funeral Director?

Eg. motorcycles, horseback riding, etc?

Are there certain accidents / fatalities you see fairly regularly, that surprised you when you first started?

Sorry if this is too close to being jokey or off-topic.

I went to the funeral of an extended family member recently, and the preacher who was officiating started the eulogy by admitting that he was pretty new to this and "didn't do well in school" before proceeding to use the wrong name for the decedent throughout the eulogy.

I imagine that in this industry, you probably interface a lot with religious leaders or other ceremonial officiants. I want to hear your stories about the most eccentric, strange, off-the-wall pastor encounters you've had.

I’m wondering if they ever get over it eventually or if it stays there for long, like with a mother and father

I know this is a long shot, but for a school assignment I need to interview a licensed funeral director AND embalmer in California.

I’d only need 10-15 minutes of your time via phone call or zoom, a picture of your business card, and your license numbers to ensure their legitimacy.

I’d be asking you about changes/trends in funeral service, your daily responsibilities, and your overall experiences in the field.

I plan to write a short paper on my findings, but it won’t be published anywhere, just submitted to my professor. Thanks in advance if anyone can help!

Hello!

I have an interview over the phone next week for an apprenticeship position at a local funeral home and I just need some advice on what to expect.

I imagine my largest hindrance towards getting this position is the fact that I don't currently have a driver's license (though I am actively taking lessons and plan to get it asap). Will this realistically ruin any chance I have at getting the job right now?

My brother died 2 weeks ago on Monday and his viewing isn't until today. He's been at the mortuary most of that time and prior was at the hospital morgue. He's been in the refrigerator the whole time. Is it still safe to touch his hand? And do funeral homes generally make people wash hands after? My OCD is freaking out a bit. I wish the viewing were sooner, but I had no control over that.

Edited to add: he's not been embalmed, just refrigerated

Edit again: viewing is done. Hand sanitizer was provided, thankfully.

Thanks for all the responses!

Our 32 to healthy, beautiful and one of the best human beings to walk this earth lost his life while test driving a super Porsche. He was speeding, a car appeared from the adjacent street to make a left so he tried to swerve to avoid hitting the car and ended up hitting a cement pole. He died at the scene. It took hours for the coroners office people to come and get him out of the car and pick him up. It was even raining while he was still at the car. Which really saddens me, he was getting rained on( he had a plastic yellow bag covering his body). Since he was originally from abroad they had to wait for the parents to get here to move forward with whatever was decided to do with his body. Since he would be traveling back home he had to be embalmed. He had to have a closed casket because the guy who worked on him said he didn’t look like the guy in the pictures he was shown. The next week he traveled to his hometown where his friends including my boyfriend carried the casket to church. My boyfriend said it already smelled really bad which truly made it even worse for them, because they were carrying their perfectly healthy 32yo and he was already decaying. My question is if he was embalmed how come there was such strong odor of decay?
It has been like 2 and a half weeks since the accident

Edit: I just realized how terrible the grammar in this post is. Sorry for the hard read.

I’m an assistant at a funeral home and I work part time. I recently joined the funeral home I’m at a few months ago with the promise of more consistent work since my last funeral home could not support the hours I needed. At first my hours were really consistent but as time has passed my hours have gotten extremely inconsistent.

I am well aware of the ebb and flow of this line of work but the issue is mostly across our leading directors. we have two directors who swap scheduling responsibility weekly. Manager #1 gives me decently consistent hours and on call while manager #2 does not. On #2’s week I am likely to get two partial days if I’m lucky. I’m scared he thinks I’m unreliable due to very minor mishaps but manager #1 seems to be very pleased with my work ethic. I will tidy our prep room, run laundry, clean cots, etc when I am able and have gotten to where I can fully dress and do cosmetics independently (my previous job and role were not very back of the house intensive). My overall work quality has improved majorly and I’m working to better myself every shift.

I really like my job and don't want to jeopardize myself with pushing for more work or upsetting one of my managers but I cannot continue to work this little. I really need advice. Thank you!

Hello, everyone, I appreciate in advance any insight available. Being a long time peruser of this sub, I know this is near identical to other posts, but please just bear with me.

I recently relocated to Florida a couple weeks after finishing mortuary school (FD and Embalmer) at DIFS in September. I am taking both NBE's within the next 2 weeks and I am still looking for a concurrent internship for my license with no success. (Context: The state of Florida's "internship" is equivalent to Texas' "apprenticeship" which is essentially a position to supervisedly practice as a funeral director/embalmer.)

Despite moving here only a few weeks ago, I've been on the hunt for an internship in this area for over six months as I visited all the "Registered Training Agency" funeral homes in the area in the spring. Although I reached out periodically to these funeral homes all this time, I consistently get the "oh, so-and-so isn't available right now, can I have them call you?", with the call back never happening and the same verbatim coversation happening again when I call to follow up. This seeming disregard is nothing new to me; this is my fourth year of "knocking on doors" in the industry and it's been the same the whole time. Even visiting the funeral home in person is to no avail; the FDIC or whomever I'd need to speak with is unavailable at most funeral homes, or I always seem to "just miss" them.

The main sticking point with all the funeral directors I've been able to get ahold of is the paid 40-hour/week minimum requirement as per the Florida Division of Funeral, Cemetery, and Consumer services. Every time I bring it up, they mention how the requirement "seems new" and how it wasn't that way when they were in mortuary school. I've been rejected time and time again regarding the internship and told over and over how the FH "can't guarantee" availability of employment. I can concede with this point, if anything, because I know that you can't control when people die.

I did have a job here in Florida at a 5th generation funeral home in which I wasn't ever explicitly told I'd be a full-time intern but it was implied and I operated as one. A week later, I was told I wasn't able to be full time due to the lack of volume and revenue in the funeral home. I would be restricted to part-time at half the hours, but with opportunities to be on-call for removals and help with services on the weekend. Moving to part time was a concession on my part as 20 hours/week is definitely better than 0 hours/week. However, today; I was texted today by the funeral home owner that my employment simply wasn't in the budget and that I was let go. Meanwhile, they have a whole unlicensed person that makes arrangements weekly.

Overall, I've reached a state of disappointment/jadedness towards the industry, which I hate because I love everything about working in funeral homes. Each similar interaction just makes me more disgruntled towards everything funeral-service related because they all tend to go the same direction.

I'm only 21, so switching careers isn't outside the realm of possibility, especially knowing the general attitude in this sub towards joining the industry. I do have a career backup plan in place if it calls for it, but I really love the industry and would hate to have my schooling be wasted if I do a career 180. Thank y'all for sticking with me, sorry for the rambling. If there are any current or former interns or recently licensed funeral director/embalmers in Florida with some insight, I'd greatly appreciate it. If anyone has any advice for how to proceed, I'd also really appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

I am not a funeral director, but have followed and appreciated this sub for awhile. I hope it's OK to share this.

A father posted himself rocking his child who burned to death in a crash. He stated that he had to fight for 10 days to be able to hold his deceased child. The video has loud crackling plastic sounds. Is this something anyone can explain? Is that a sealed pouch that the funeral home then wrapped in blankets? I would assume the blanket idea was the funeral homes, so they didn’t have to hand him his child in just a bag? Would there be any chance of an odor? What would it even feel like holding her? Like a stiff mannequin? He had his face as close as possible to her and sobbing in the video. It was devastating to see.

I've always been interested in how whalefalls provide such an important source of nutrition for animals at the bottom of the ocean. I was wondering if there was a way for a human to be "buried" like this. I'm well aware of creation and spreading ashes, so my question is more like- can a whole human body be sunk into the deepest part of the ocean? Is it an ethical option, or is there too much grossness in a human for it to be eco-friendly? What are the laws around it? Could my loved ones just tie a couple cinderblocks to my body and dump me overboard?

Extra context: I live in California, USA

My uncle passed away from multiple, consecutive heart attacks around 9:30 am this past friday. My aunt came home from work and found him, and I got a call around 4 pm. My mom and I arrived around 7 pm, and he was still there, with a sheet draped over him. The funeral home came to pick him up around 9:30, I wasn't able to move away from next to him in time, so I saw them lift his sheet up and even smelled him, and saw some fluid coming out from his head area. His expression was very peaceful, he just looked like he was resting, but his body was really stiff as they moved him and it was really weird to witness. The process of removing him from the home was really upsetting as well, maneuvering him into the bag and all of that. I wasn't mentally prepared to still have him be at home, let alone actually see his dead body, so I'm not really sure how to process this. I have previously watched videos explaining different steps in the whole death care process, so I knew about some things but actually seeing them has been a lot. I am a very analytical person with my feelings, but also really sensitive so I'm not sure how to deal. I have been to a viewing before, when I was little but it was from far away so this is brand new to me.