(this is going to be quite long , i am sorry i am tired and dont even know how to write it. So probably just skip if you dont like reading. )

I broke up with my girlfriend (21F) about a year ago. Were together for year and a half and It wasn't a bad breakup, we just simply realized that we weren't a good match and that there was no point in continuing the relationship.

My father had never been particularly interested in the girlfriends I’d had previously, but he got along surprisingly well with her, largely because they were both passionate hunters. I was very glad they get along so well , especially considering that my ex-girlfriend didn’t have the best relationship with her own father or the rest of her family, and also because, as I mentioned, my father had never shown any interest in getting close to any of my partners.

When we broke up, I thought they would stop spending time together, but they didn’t. They still go hunting, fishing, to the shooting range, and so on. I want to point out that they don’t go alone, just the two of them, but as part of larger groups, so please don’t read any romantic involvement into it.

Although it wasn’t exactly pleasant for me, given that our breakup was amicable, I decided to just let it go. Everything was fine until two months ago, when I got a new girlfriend (22F). I brought her home to meet my parents just this week, while my mom was friendly as always, it was clear that my father wasn't interested in meeting her, even though he remained polite and everything was going well until my father mentioned my ex-girlfriend's name, saying he planned to invite her to a barbecue next week. My girlfriend asked who that was, and I had to tell her the truth. My girlfriend isn't the jealous type and doesnt mind my father hanging out with my ex that much, but she definitely doesn't want to attend a gathering with her, because, frankly, it’s just weird.

After I dropped my girlfriend off at her home, I told my father that, now that I have a new girlfriend, it wouldn't be appropriate for him to invite my ex to the barbecue. My father got defensive and insisted that he could invite whoever he wanted. I agreed, after all, it is his house, but I told him that, in that case, my girlfriend and I wouldn't be coming. My mom was upset about this because she wants my girlfriend to always feel welcomed and she begged me to reconsider.

I realized that if things continued this way, we wouldn't be able to attend most of the gatherings my parents host for our family. So, I decided to write directly to my ex. I told her that I have a new girlfriend and explained the situation. She said she understood and agreed not to attend my parents gathering, wished me the best in my new relationship, and I thought that would be the end of it. However, few hours later, I received an angry message from my father, stating that I have no right to decide who he can invite, and that we are no longer invited to the gatherings or to their home.

My mom stopped by my place and told me that my father is angry because my ex, out of respect for our relationship, is refusing to attend, even though my father has cut us off. Apparently, my father now wants me to convince my ex to keep going to their gatherings, otherwise, he says he wants nothing more to do with me.

I decided to maintain some self-respect and not beg my father to change his mind. I’m simply going to cut off contact with him because I thought it was a good compromise and that i was being reasonable since my father and my ex can still see each other when they participate in activities together, but at the same time, my ex won't be attending family gatherings. However, my father and all the friends I’ve asked seem to side with my father, which worries me, so i decided to post to few subredits and get other peoples opinions. Thank you for reading.

So i am really in the Wrong here and what should i do ?

My sister got fired from her job literally right before we leave for vacation . We leave in a month and she said she only has $50 in her account . I told her I cannot afford to pay for all of her expenses when we go to New York . It’s a family vacation and it’s about 7 of us going . And everyone else said she needs to stay at home if she doesn’t have money. New York is very expensive to travel to!! Not only will she need her money for the plane ticket but she will also need her money for her hotel , food money, Uber money and spending money etc etc .$50 is not gonna be enough!! She really wants to go and is upset that I’m telling her to stay at home but I just don’t see how it’s feasible .
I told her if she can get signed on at another job before we live she can come but if she is unable to find another job within the month she have to stay at home
It’s just crazy to think she can go on vacation to New York with $50 to her name but she is upset with me

I 35F, have been living in my apartment for a little over two years, and throughout that time, the real estate agent who works with my landlord has been having his personal mail delivered to my apartment. To be clear: he does not live here, has never lived here to my knowledge, and is not the owner of the property.

Initially, it was just the occasional random piece of mail, so I didn't think too much of it. Whenever I noticed something addressed to him, I'd let him know, and he'd come by to pick it up. I was trying to be polite and accommodating. However, over time, this has gradually become more frequent and, frankly, more concerning.

At one point, he started telling me that he was expecting checks in the mail and asking me to let him know when they arrived and whether I can meet up with him to deliver his mail to him. A few "off" incidents include: asking me to meet him at a motel to drop off the mail, I said no and left the mail at the leasing office. Another time there was mail, he asked me not to leave it at the leasing office because they're only open during business hours and he "won't have time to pick it up". More recently, he's had government-related correspondence delivered here, including a voter registration card and even a license plate.

The other issue is, whenever he comes to collect his mail, he tends to linger at my door and initiate small talk, like ask how I've been, make comments about changes in the neighborhood, etc. I usually pretend to be on a work call or in a rush and try to end the conversation. It's not necessarily anything overtly inappropriate, but I don't particularly want these interactions. I've also noticed that when he comes by, he looks like he's made an effort with his appearance (wears quite a bit of cologne, or makes mention of "just having been at the gym", etc...). I've started to feel that the mail might just be an excuse for him to have reasons to come to my apartment and interact with me.

I'm now married, and he knows I'm a lesbian. Regardless of his intentions, I simply don't want these unnecessary visits or personal interactions. Again, I recognize that some of this is my interpretation, but combined with everything else, it contributes to how uncomfortable I feel. I've mostly remained polite because, honestly, as a woman, I don't always feel comfortable directly confronting men, especially when they know I'm home alone. I've tried to be somewhat distant and not overly accommodating. For example, if he texts me saying he's expecting something in the mail, I don't immediately go check the mailbox for him. I wait until I intend to get my own mail. But even then, I feel burdened by the situation.

With the most recent delivery (the license plate), I decided I had enough. I wrote "RETURN TO SENDER – DOES NOT RESIDE AT THIS ADDRESS" on the package and intend to put it back with the outgoing mail. So, AITAH?

PS: I'm now considering contacting my landlord directly to explain what's been happening. I don't know whether she is even aware that her real estate agent has been using my apartment to have his personal mail delivered.

Edit 1: Not sure how to update other than "edit", but I've been doing some digging around and turns out he may be related to the landlord, which could very well be an arrangement that they have with regards to the mail... Also turns out he was arrested some time ago for harassing and exposing himself to a woman about 10 min south of where I live... I genuinely don't know whether I should say anything to the landlord or not, in case he is family, but I will be going to the Police, USPS and DMV first thing on Monday. I'll update you guys with another edit once I have more details and have taken further action. Thanks so much to everyone and all the advice!

I was doing payroll and checked the cameras at my shop to make sure I had my employees dates of working correct. I had a guy over that I have kind of been talking to and of course I saw him on the camera while I was checking dates and I saw him literally take something out of his back pocket, check behind him, snort it, check behind him again and put it back in his pocket while I was talking to him from the bathroom. I was shocked because I had no idea this man did that, let alone the audacity to do it at my place of business. I texted him “i saw something I didn’t like,” and sent the video and he completely acted like I was crazy and said I “secretly recorded him” and then “I guess sorry for doing it at your shop- I don’t know how my extra curricular activities affect you.” Soooooo, Reddit, AITAH

Edit: the guy doing the questionable behavior was NOT my employee- he was somebody I was hanging out with. I was looking at the camera’s timestamps to make sure I had the correct hours for my employees arriving and leaving which faces the door.

So I(17f) was discussing houses with my mom (~47f) when she mentioned that a relative is selling their old house and planning on moving into a smaller house as their family is small now (kids moving out for college and all that).

They are planning on keeping the rest of the money in the bank to get some interest and helping their kids out with tuition.

My mom said that she thinks they shouldn't move into a smaller house because according to her — the new 1000 sqft house is too small for their family of literally 2 as compared to their old 2000 sqft house for their family of 4.

This is where I might have messed up a little. I said that people adjust, and it's not that hard. You also grew up in "that" house. By which I meant my mom's childhood, one room house.

And no, I don't mean one bedroom, kitchen, living room etc. I mean just one bedroom. That was the whole house. She grew up in that one bedroom, ~100-200 sqft house with 6 of her siblings (and of course 2 parents).

She married into a middle-class family, and we aren't rich by any means, but we live in an average sized house. I just felt like it was weird of my mom to make that comparison given how she grew up.

When I said that, my mom immediately gave me THAT look, started yelling at me, and then stopped talking. Didn't talk to me the whole day...

I clearly didn't mean it in any degratory way, and I even said it in a joking manner. I didn't think she'd get offended over it. Was I really wrong? My dad is asking me to apologize to her, but I feel like she was mad due to some other reason and just took it out on me. AITAH?

Hello, so my cousin ( male) got married to his high school sweetheart about last weekend. I’ve never been close with my extended family but being around 20 and living at home I kinda have to go to a lot of family events as my parents go and force me too. My dad is very huge with his side of the family and is very family oriented so when we got invited to my cousins, I knew I had to go.

Some context about my hair, I have very long black hair and around 2-3 years ago as an act of rebellion I got it a dark blue peak a boo hair colour thing. Obviously I’ve kept it still and re colour every now and then but due to tight on money I hadn’t done in the past 5-6 months so it was very washed out, like a greenish sea sick blue.

My cousins asked me to box dye my hair back to black for his wedding. I told him that it would not happened, as box dye is INSANELY hard to get out, and if I want go to back to blue after it’ll take bleaching ect. Which I did not want my hair to go through. To compromise I told him I could box dye it a very dark blue ( similar to black but not exactly) and keep my hair down completely straight. As when I do that you can not tell the difference between my coloured and non coloured and even if my hair was to move to side throughout the night no one would be able to tell unless you’re looking for it.

I also told him how most of the night I’ll most likely be baby sitting my younger brother ( 10 months) and will go to the car and not be really be seen unless they need me for photos ect.

He got all hissy and left. I died my hair the very dark blue, The wedding went and by, and not only did I spend the whole night with my brother I ended up coming home earlier because he and I both couldn’t handle the loud music.

I’m still being called an asshole by him and my auntie, even though no one that whole night said nothing about my hair, me or what colour my hair was.

Did I ruin my cousin wedding??

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/4SbwZUUDd7

To make a quick summary of my last post, I was supposed to go join my mother and sister to go to my aunt's house for the week end for her 50th birthday. But my mom and sister went to my house beginning of the week before that and were trying to convince me not to start hormones, pointed out my insecurities and more... I felt like crap and didn't want to see them but felt bad for my aunt and cousins if I didn't. (for more details go see the original post)

I ended up not going. I thought about it and figured I was done being walked all over. The same week I called my dad to tell him I was gonna start hormones soon (although I've started since 6 months but if I told them that they would have exploded) he was not especially thrilled but unlike my mom didn't try to convince me not to start hormones, just told me to be careful. Then I told him I was planning not go (in case you wonder they're divorced and my dad wasn't involved with my aunt's birthday) and he told me it was fine and it was my choice. However he let me knew my mother was suspecting I lied about seeing a psychiatrist (basically my parents absolutely wanted me to see a psychiatrist, my mother especially wanted one that her friend recommended, but where I live it is not necessary so I decided to lie about it so I'd be left alone and could still start transitionninh, don't worry I see a therapist, but not a psychiatrist) and I wasn't able to tell the truth to him either and felt horrible afterwards.

Then the day before the flight, where I planned on telling my mother I wouldn't go, my father told her. When I opened my phone after some errands I saw lots of notifications. My aunt was sad and tried to convince me to still go and told me she made my mom promise not to bring up the subjects of my transidentity and all. I told her I was sorry and it was absolutely not against her but I still wouldn't go. (I did and still feel horrible for that)

As for my mom she sent me a message saying she learnt I was not going and that it would make my aunt and cousins sad and that she was sad that our "disagreement" would go that far and that despite it she still loved me.

I told her that this whole "despite all I still love you" thing wouldn't work anymore (she noticed a few times that I distanced myself from her due to her behavior about me being trans and she told me that she didn't want to lose me so she'd try to evolve, but obviously it never lasts long) She didn't respond.

As for my sister, she sent a message saying "if you're mad at me say it", I tell her to figure it out. Then she says that she might have been hard on me but having different opinions doesn't mean we should avoid each other and that we can talk about it. She proceeds to bring up times where I was a piece of shut to her when we were kids and that she didn't stop talking to me after that. (I did feel bad being reminded of that to be fair) I decided to not back down and say that what she said wasn't opinions but blatant transphobia and that if she kept being transphobic to me and in general I didn't want to be near her. Then she says that after she says something I didn't like I instantly don't want to talk to her so I leave no place for discussion and that she was sorry if she hurt me but we were supposed to be a team. And then said "I can't even have doubts about what you do, and if I'm wrong I don't even have the right to be wrong, our relationship is that fragile?" I told her that she had no right to say anything about my identity and what I wanted to do with my body. After that she told me she didn't mind me taking hormones but just wanted to still be in touch with me and that she didn't want our relationship to end over that. I told her that if she kept kept being transphobic to me I'd keep my distances but if she didn't I'd have no reason to.

Since then no message from them but my step father sent me a long message saying that he saw the conflict between me and my mother and he could understand that sometimes she acted towards me like she'd act when I was younger but he needed to remind me that she gave it all so I could be a functionning adult and that now she spends her days crying since what she feared the most "losing her boy" happened (don't know if he's talking about it in the angle of my transition or about me taking distances) and that I might have friends there for me but friendship is mostly temporary but family is what matters. I don't know if it sounded like some Farwell message or trying to convince me to forgive her but yeah.

Since then no news. If it wasn't for me feeling bad about this whole situation and especially for my aunt, I'd say everything seems fine. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared tho.

For context, I dropped my phone and broke the screen a couple days ago. Half the screen looks shattered but there are no holes or sharp pieces sticking out.

I went to the Jimmy John's drive thru today for lunch and ordered a sandwich. I didn't have my wallet, so I asked to use tap-to-pay.

I go to this location semi-often, and they do not hand the POS machine through the window. They take your phone from you, tap at the register inside the window, then hand the phone back.

Today, I handed my phone to the woman at the drive thru and she said "ma'am, your phone is a danger and I cannot handle it." My sandwich was sitting on the counter in front of her.

Now, I cannot possibly be the first person to go through a Jimmy John's line with a cracked phone screen, and I don't appreciate my time being wasted. Having no other way to pay, I said "okay, I'll order the sandwich online and pay for it."

I proceeded to do just that, there in the drive thru line since there was no one in line behind me. She told me I needed to pull around and I simply told her "no."

I completed the transaction on my phone in like 90 seconds right in front of her. She pulled the ticket off the to-go order machine, handed me my sandwich (obviously pissed off), and I drove away.

AITAH?

Hello Reddit,

I (27f) am a manager at a popular retail store, for the past 2 months a report of ours we have to access at the end of the night has been not working fully. About a month into this issue (end of september) I reached out to our IT desk with screenshots of proof to ask for help, they saved the screenshots and understood the issue but said it had to be escalated up, no problem. Tier 2 IT guy (lets call him Mike) reaches out around October 6th via teams to inquire about the issue but im off so dont respond till my next day working.

We talk back and forth for about 2 weeks and I cant share the exact convo or screenshots for privacy but here's a close approximation of our chats

Me: Hello! This one number is not updating past 6pm on this one report, this is causing issues for us how can we fix it?

Mike: Hello! This isnt a problem at all! The report only updates once an hour so youre just checking too early!

Me: Hello! I check the report 2.5 hours later, every other number is updating correctly just not this one. I can hand calculate it and it hasnt been an issue in the past so we were able to catch it. Maybe the formula got mistyped or something in a recent update?

Mike: There is no typo, youre looking at it wrong and too soon, the data updates the next day (sends screenshot) and the number is fine there! How else can I clarify this for you?

Me: the report you sent a screenshot of is a different report the next day, please help me with this line on this report that our District Manager requires is done every night. This line used to update regularly and the other lines still are updating. Please advise

Mike: *very long and company specific explanation of how the report /should/ work\*

(Potentially important note after that last message I called IT again to request someone else help me understand what im missing, they say they dont understand why hes not helping us, they see the issue, i ask them to move this ticket to a different IT person, they say they cant cause its already been escalated and I would have to ask Mike directly)

Me: Hello Mike, can we please get someone else to assist us with this issue? Thank you

Mike does not answer and instead calls my DM to say Im being rude to him and he just doesnt know to explain it another way. My Manager is called and told to reprimand me cause my DM does not appreciate me speaking to An IT person that way and that if I have questions in the future I can ask my DM for clarification.

My Manager reads through the chat and doesnt see me being rude at all, the store supervisors read through it, a manager in training reads through it, no one sees me being rude at all, he might not like the request I made but it doesnt mean I was rude. But now im at a loss, our report is still broken and now I literally cant get anyone to fix it cause I'd have to go through Mike. And my coworkers all love me (but according them the DM doesnt like me? Idk though) so I'm wondering if maybe theyre biased. AITAH for asking for a different IT person since this one wasnt helping?

My (9f) daughter has been complaining the past few weeks about being bullied by a (9m) boy in her class. She goes to a catholic private school and their entire grade consists of 18 kids total. She has 2 really good female friends she hangs out with at school daily, and recently the boy has been telling her friends that my daughter is annoying and that they shouldnt sit with her at lunch. He tells her friends not to play with her at recess and if hes playing with said friends he tells her she cant play with them.

Recently the bullying has progressed into him taking her glasses off of her face and throwing them and purposely spilling her yogurt on her at lunch. She comes home crying and saying she doesnt want to go to school there anymore because of said boy picking on her. So I sent an email to her principal and teacher.

The teacher didnt say much more than "I had no idea" and "thanks for bringing it to her attention" (even though my daughter has told her multiple times herself about whats going on) Principal said she would have a talk with the boy, which she did, she pulled the boy, my daughter and her friend who witnesses the bullying daily into her office all at the same time!

After this meeting she had with all the kids, she says it will be handled and that she will keep a closer eye on the kids but that my daughter annoys him and that's why hes bullying her. Dafuq?! So since my daughters presence is a annoying to this boy that gives him the free card to bully?!

So after this meeting they had yesterday and her email telling me she will keep an eye out and blah blah blah, my daughter gets into my car after school and bursts into tears, bawling her eyes out telling me how mean the boy had been to her after their meeting. The teasing progressed and he was making fun of her on the play ground and telling kids not to play with her.

So after this meltdown in the car, telling me these things that he was doing to her after the "meeting" that they had, I see the principal standing outside, so I whip my car around to the front, get out of the car and proceed to stomp my not so happy ass up to the Principal with other teachers/students/parents around and tell her in a stern way, that if she doesnt do something about this boy bullying my daughter she will no longer be attending school there because just pulling a kid aside and talking to him isnt enough to get this kid to stop.

So my question is this, am I the ass hole for causing a scene because my daughter is being bullied to the point she needs a "mental break" from being bullied ?

Edit 1: my husband texted boys dad when the boy took off her glasses and threw them, the text was left on read and never responded to.

Edit 2: I got an email saying shes taking away his recesses today. Thats the punishment thus far.

Edit 3: The boy has bullied different kids throughout his time at school. Shes just the newest one he has started to pick on. They've been going to school together for years and the bullying just started.

Edit 4: Principal reached out to parent to let them know about what was going on, he served his recess detentions inside Principals office. When I picked my daughter up from school, I asked her how her day was and she said, GREAT. Said Bully boy was nice to me today! Smile on her face. (We will see how long it lasts, fingers crossed)

I (24f) was supposed to share a beach house with 3 other women. The arrangements were already made that I will take a single bed room, another person takes the other single bed room and two people share the bunk bed room.

A few days before the trip, 2 people contacted my mom saying that they heard we were renting a beach house and since they’ll be going to the same event, they wanted to share. I told her specifically not to have anyone else in the house because it’ll get too crowded and chaotic plus idk ANY of these people. I just rented a house for the event in a beautiful spot and since there was space, I invited my mom and let her invite 2 people only. She ended up letting them stay here and I wasn’t aware that I will now be sharing the beach house that I paid for with 5 people.

I love my privacy and space, I have to work during the day and I like to do things on my own schedule. I also hate sharing a bed and room with someone if idk their habits and if they’re messy. That’s why we made the arrangements we did.

Fast forward to 2 nights ago, our first day, we go out to dinner and it’s just 3 of us. The other 3 wanted us to wait for them at the restaurant until they got there (restaurant is 4 minutes from the house). WE WAITED AN HOUR FOR THEM TO GET THERE. We started eating without them because we were hungry and no one was responding. Once they got there they had the audacity to complain that we ate without them and proceeded to keep complaining even though they got their food a few minutes after we finally got ours.

Then that night, we all get back to the house, we go to our assigned rooms and one of the last minute guests was supposed to sleep on the couch and the other on the pullout bed. That’s what they originally agreed on with my mom. I get to my room and my mom starts bringing her stuff in and pleaded me to share my room with her because the girl didn’t want to sleep on the couch anymore. I was pissed and annoyed because I gave everyone the rules and reminders ahead of time. My mom completely took over my entire room, makeup, clothes, random shit everywhere it was a complete mess.

For the past 2 days I’ve had ZERO time to myself. Ladies having EVERYTHING out walking around the house like it’s theirs, eating everything but didn’t buy any groceries nor paid for anything, breathing down my neck, laying on my bed. One even used my bathroom which is in my room without asking because “the shower is bigger”. This morning I completely snapped after I told everyone I was grabbing lunch at a specific place and time and everyone wanted me to wait an hour for them since they weren’t hungry yet and one lady sarcastically said “what you can’t wait an hour”…no? TF

They’ve treated me like an assistant and pushover. I told everyone that I paid for the house and I was trying to be generous but obviously they’ve taken it completely for granted and have been nothing but rude and completely unaware of their actions and if I would’ve known that they act out at their grown age, I would’ve never extended my invite and kept the house to myself. Now they’re bitching about it to my mom but I see nothing wrong. Maybe I’m missing how I’m the problem so AITAH?

UPDATE**
Since some people need more understanding … let me break down full details (didn’t want the original post to be too long). 2 ADDITIONAL women outside of the original +2 for my mom came in. I found out DAY OF ARRIVAL at 6pm. Yes, I said house was full and they promised arrangements would remain the same but that all changed after we got back from dinner (11pm by then). While everyone was rearranging, the other ladies suggested that my mom sleeps with me so no one’s on the couch. THEY pushed her onto me and pushed her out of her spot. To be considerate of my mother not sleeping on the couch and because I thought it was a load of BS that she didn’t stick up for herself on getting pushed out of her own room AND being guilt tripped by the other ladies, I let her stay in mine.

I was always told to treat elders right and my moms non confrontational so she did not want me to say anything. I know it may seem like pushover behavior however out of respect to my mom to not start problems, I bit my tongue. I never would’ve let them stay if I knew how disrespectful they were and I mean everyone including the original group. I finally brought it up because they was enough evidence for my mother to understand why I’m so pissed about the situation. The confrontation was less about me being the nice guy and waiting for a good time, it was more about me book marking everything so she understand the problem and that her friends are assholes.

Everyone has paid, 2 are staying and 3 are gone. This conversation was had BEFORE I originally posted this. So yes I already had plans to change what was going on and yes payment was discussed and agreed to be sent AFTER the event was done (in case of additional changers and incidentals on my card) but I was wondering if I was being a shitty person for telling them I’d kick them out…

I (18F) have two friends. W(18M) and C(19F). I’m close with W, but C, meanwhile, I would say she’s more of an acquaintance than a true friend. I’ve spoken to her when we were at school, mostly through W, but I haven’t had any contact with her for two years now, mostly because she moved abroad.

A few weeks ago, W contacted me about C. It turns out she isn’t doing very good. She had opened up to him about feeling very lonely and isolated in her new country. W believes she is depressed, and being the good friend he is, he wanted to create a support system for her: he wanted to gather every old friend of hers he knew about to message her online regularly with positivity and basically lend her a shoulder to cry on. "maybe spend an hour talking to her daily" is what he said.

I told him I wasn’t really onboard, and that I probably wasn’t the best option for this. I know little to nothing about C, and just popping out of the blue after not speaking for two years suddenly bearing a super enthusiastic therapist act would definitely throw her off and not last very long. On top of that, he also wants me to go an extra mile and get in contact with more mutual acquaintances (which I have probably talked to once in my life) of C to get them in on the plan as well. I told him nicely that I didn’t want to bother strangers on his behalf, and if he wanted to "recruit" people, he’d need to do it himself.

W still pressed me to at least try, which I told him I would if an opportunity arose to reconnect with C, but obviously, it didn’t, at which point he started to get angry with me for "slacking on purpose when time is of the essence".

I’m going to be 100% frank and maybe a bit brutal, I don’t care about C enough to do something like this, but I can’t just tell that straight up to W. I only know C from middle school during which I wasn’t even hanging out with her regularly, and again, it has been two years since we haven’t talked at all, even online.

I have a very low social battery. Holding a conversation online is already exhausting to me. I’ve also started in quite a prestigious university which leaves me with roughly 3 hours of free time a day (not counting weekends). The little free time I have left is more important than ever to me, and I would rather spend it talking to close friends or on my hobbies.

To put it simply, I don’t want to invest my time into forcing myself to play therapist for C, partly because I don’t believe it is my job to do, and because it would simply not work at all. It’s not like i’m a non-believer of stuff like this though. Like, if a closer friend were to be in a similar situation, I would be there for them. But C and I are really just not on that level.

I keep repeating that I don’t want to be part of this moral support mission, but W keeps insisting.
I’ve started to leave his angry messages on read because this is seriously draining me, but part of me really does wonder if I need to put more efforts into my non-close friendships.

AITAH for not wanting to help W support C while she’s in need? Is my boundary reasonable, or am I selfish?

Alright, so, I’m 16. Me and my mom move around a lot and I absolutely hate it. She’ll rent out places we can’t afford, then we get kicked out and move somewhere else. I’ve moved at least 5 different times within the span of two years.

A while ago, against my will, my mom moved in with her boyfriend. And, being a child, I had to come with her. I was completely against this idea, as I’d have to move schools for the second time that year. She didn’t care. We moved there. After a few months, they broke up.

We had to stay at my grandma’s place, then a cheap hotel, then her friend’s apartment. Now we’re renting out a place of our own again.

Recently, my mom and this boyfriend got back together. And, of course, she wants to move in with him again.

I told her that I would not be moving in with this guy. Their relationship was hella unstable last time, and I know they’re just gonna break up again. When my mom’s in a relationship with him, she’s practically never home. She drinks more, she gambles more, and she does more drugs. Not a big fan.

But, even if he were a great guy, there is no way I’d wanna move in with one of her boyfriends again. If they were to break up (knowing my mom, the chances are likely with just about anyone), I’m gonna have to deal with all that shit again.

So, I told her that. I said she’s gotta choose between living with me or her boyfriend. She chose her boyfriend. When I told her it was ridiculous to choose some guy over her child, she said she wasn’t choosing anyone and that I could just come with her and stop making this situation such a big deal.

Honestly? Maybe she’s right. But, I’ve decided to look out for myself in all this. I’d rather move back in with my grandma, change schools for the final time, and just gain a sense of security in my future for once. High school is hard enough, man. I don’t wanna have to move more than necessary.

Am I really the asshole here?

I have management and several other people on my side in the matter, but I honestly don't know if I handled it correctly. I'm being somewhat vague, we're unionized and he reported the supposed "conflict" so if there is an investigation, I don't want it to blow up on either of us.

I work for a sorting facility for packages, think large warehouse with a bunch of machines scanning labels and sending thing to different warehouses, as a maintenance technician. Recently, the National Maintenance people sent down a change in the checklists, fully overhauling how the maintenance of the machines was tracked and assigned. There used to be 3 levels of technicians involved, but a majority got changed to be assigned to the mid-level technicians. I'm a top-level tech, and the coworker in question is a mid-level. For simplicity, I'll refer to coworker as P.

With the change in maintenance scheduling, one specific part that used to be listed specifically is now included in a catch-all term. The period it was checked was changed slightly as well. I had noticed on my shift that the part was worn down well beyond normal on one specific machine. The only tech that had been working on it was P.

I had a verbal altercation with P previously where I know i was TAH. He had jumped into the middle of a project I had left overnight, moved tools and hardware, and I approached him incorrectly. I'm former military and often times give people crap about screw-ups and curse more than I should, and in his eyes I was cursing him out for doing work he was told to, even though it was outside what he was assigned to do. It was handled without any severe penalties on anyone and was broadly accepted as a misunderstanding.

Here's where I think I'm TAH. I approached P asking if he had seen the changes in the maintenance schedule, and that I had found this part extremely worn. He told me it was the responsibility of the Low-level techs or people on Overtime. I pointed out it was assigned to his level, and that it was part of the normal maintenance. He told me to bring it up with Management if I thought he wasn't doing his job. So I did. I walked directly to the managers office. I tried to be vague and non-accusatory, basically saying the wording had changed and parts were wearing down beyond normal because it wasn't specifically addressed in the checklist. P comes barging into the manager's office behind me, interrupts what I'm saying, and basically yells that he had been doing his job just fine and there was nothing wrong with what he was doing, then storms back out.

I had an hour-long chat with my management team about the maintenance assignments and responsibility, and it's caused a couple changes in our daily reporting. I also found out that P had gone to management on the operations side to report me. I don't know what was said or if anything is being done, this was several days ago and I haven't seen or heard anything else about it, but I honestly don't know if I handled the situation properly. AITAH?

Yes I opposed a fundraiser on threads and I'll give you the bigger picture as to why I'm doing it.

Peppa posted a Threads fundraiser for Zoro’s “car fund.” Zoro is a special needs dog, and Peppa was touched by this golden retriever's story so she shared it with people of threads. Everyone assumed it was for a wheelchair or mobility aid for this special needs golden retriever, but after reading the entire post on threads it's actually for a regular human car so Zoro can go on trips and adventures.

I felt donations should go toward his real needs instead like his medication, food, or the MRI they mentioned can’t even be done here in our country. When I pointed this out, Peppa told me to stop judging and blocked me. A couple of others who questioned it got blocked too. I made my own thread sharing screenshots of her post, and a lot of people agreed because why raise money for a car when shelters and strays are struggling daily?

A few hours later, Peppa deleted her original post and asked me to take mine down, saying they couldn’t handle the criticism. Then Zoro’s owner posted an open letter on TikTok — including my photo — saying she never asked for donations herself and works 4 jobs to care for Zoro. It is addressed to me and to their "bashers from Threads"

Because i was tagged on this TikTok post, i had the chance to read through Zoro's story. digging deeper, I found important details: Zoro is the result of illegal backyard breeding done by his current owner. They had 3 puppies from that litter — one passed away, one got adopted, and they kept Zoro because families backed out on adopting him not just once, but twice. That’s when they decided to keep him as their pet. Their latest post before the open letter is a call for sponsors for Zoro's 3rd barkday party.0

Since I strongly oppose backyard breeding and believe people deserve the full picture, I’ve chosen not to take my post down. I even added more details to that thread to talk about Zoro's history, being ill since birth. It's now more than the absurd car fund request, but showing what's the consequences of breeding illegally.

Another detail to add here, they told me that the breeding issue was already addressed years ago by the furmom. But she always claimed that Zoro's defects are not effects of illegal breeding, even though Zoro's been struggling since birth. up to this day, that's her claim.

Now it looks like they won't delete my face off of their TikTok account if i don't remove my post, because TikTok is the only place where they get the support. They actually summoned 3 accounts on threads to trash me online too for "bullying" her and Zoro. For the sake of peace I'm considering deleting my post but how about the advocacy? so WIBTAH if i don't take it down?

As the title says, I (OP) am a 34F. My mother (56F) was a great mom until I was about 16. After that, she started using drugs on and off, and it’s been that way until today. She’s in an off period right now.

My whole life, I’ve helped keep the house afloat and taken care of my sister. You can guess what my teens and 20s were like. I stayed at home until my sister was 19 and got kicked out. Then I moved out, too.

My dad has dementia and is in rapid decline. However, I can’t be at my parents’ house because of my mom. She thinks we should just help her all the time, day and night. The stress has been so bad that I lost a baby at seven weeks.

I’ve tried having all the money sent to me so I could manage the bills and keep her afloat. I’ve leased two cars for her. One was totaled, and the other was stolen because she let crackheads sleep over, and they stole the car.

My mom has used my dad against me, gaslit me, stolen money from me, gotten mad at me when I told her I was abused, and so much more.

I guess my question is, am I a horrible person for letting go now? I know I should have done it before. But, on one hand, if I leave now, I won’t be able to see my dad during the last years of his life. On the other hand, I’ll finally get to live my own life and try to start living for myself.

I don’t know why the guilt is eating me alive.

I (23F) have Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) and was diagnosed in June. I am currently on medical leave from my job. I'm still dealing with my symptoms mainly leg tremors and functional limitations, and I'm trying to focus on my health and recovery.

My dad (65M) works for a company that provides services to children and adults, including helping clients get to appointments. Recently, he's been asking me to work as a sitter for some of their clients.

The first time he asked, I said I needed more information before agreeing. He didn't initially tell me that the client was an autistic girl who felt more comfortable having a woman present. Apparently, the company currently has a male sitter, and they were looking for someone who could accommodate her preference.

When I asked for more information instead of immediately agreeing, my dad got angry with me.
Now he's asking me again to help out tomorrow.
Part of my hesitation is that I have FND and am still on medical leave. I don't know whether taking on this work could affect my leave, and I'm particularly uncomfortable with how the payment would work.
From what I understand, the company would pay my dad, and he would then pay me. It wouldn't be an official arrangement directly between me and the company. If I were hired officially, I would have to complete the usual employment paperwork.

I'm concerned about the potential implications of working while on medical leave, and I don't want to take unnecessary risks with my employment or recovery.

But there's also a bigger issue: I feel like if I say yes once, my dad will continue relying on me whenever the company needs someone.

I understand that the girl may genuinely feel more comfortable with a woman present, and I don't want to dismiss her needs. But I also feel like the company should be responsible for finding and hiring someone who can consistently fulfill that role. Also I don’t know the behavior of this girl. I feel like why can’t her family or staff sit with her if they know it’s a reoccurring issue for her?

I have my own health issues to deal with, and I don't feel like I should have to take on additional responsibilities just because my dad works there.

AITA for refusing to help even though the company may genuinely need someone?

Am I being unreasonable, or is this a situation where I need to establish firmer boundaries with my dad? When he gets angry, it gets scary.

My (20F) boyfriend (22) and I have talked about doing deliveries as a small side hustles, but I explicitly told him that I would only have time for a couple hours with my new job starting. I got rejected from doordash and ubereats because they were asking me for more identification outside of my social security and drivers license. (WHICH BTW. I literally work with kids. I don’t think any place has asked me for SO MUCH ID?) I didn’t want to deal with it, because at the moment I am busy and I want to rest for the hours I’m free. Ever since then, he’s been nagging me every hour of the day to contact support and call them. Even when I have messaged them, he asks me to continue calling them knowing they’ll say the same thing. Every single hour he asks me if support has replied. I told him to quit asking me so many times, already. I’m getting so frustrated and annoyed I just wanna tell him to EFF OFF.

Here’s the thing: he HAS a job that he works one 6 hr shift a week at. Previously, he worked 25 hours a week at a different job and that had no effect on his housing. I seriously doubt that a few hours of delivery driving every other day will have any effect on his housing. I told him that if he really wants to do delivery driving so badly, he should make his own account and stop bothering me about it. I don’t want to deal with the identification hassle.
He got mad at me and said that he can’t and he won’t. I told him housing wouldn’t be affected. He still said that he won’t make his own account. For no particular reason.He is now giving me the silent treatment. I just think he is being incredibly bratty and immature right now.

I might be the a hole for saying originally I was down to do this, but later changing my mind after seeing how much of a hassle it was to get my documents. I also might be the ahole for wanting to tell him to eff off and leave me out of it.

Back in 2020, my wife and I moved into my parents' house in Florida. At the time, it was an amazing help. We were adjusting to parenthood, and having that safety net truly helped us get on our feet. Initially, my parents just asked for whatever I could afford, which was about $200 a week. However, I always covered the costs for things that needed fixing and took on the responsibility of caring for the property.

The house is an older townhouse built back in 2002, and it had not been renovated. Because I moved in after it had been used as a rental property for six years, it was in rough shape. When we first arrived, it had a severe roach infestation that I completely eradicated. There were numerous repairs needed, all of which I handled out of pocket. When the major appliances inevitably broke down, I replaced them myself. Within a year, I was already making full rent payments of around $1,500 a month. I know that is below market value for the area, but I remained solely responsible for all maintenance. Over the years, this house has easily cost me thousands of dollars in upkeep.

At first, my commute to work was only thirty miles, so the drive wasn't too bad. However, my office eventually relocated, and my commute is now forty-eight miles each way ,almost a hundred miles round trip every single day. By early 2024, I told my parents that we were ready to move out. They asked me to hang in there until my dad retired so he could move back into the house without them having to renovate it first. They gave me a firm timeline of April 2025.

By December 2024, I was ready to finalize our plans and asked them how they wanted to handle the transition. They then asked me to extend our stay to July 2025 because that was when the lease on their current rental would expire. I agreed, but I was definitely annoyed. My wife is now working a similar distance away, meaning we are both spending hundreds of dollars every month on gas and tolls just to commute. When June 2025 rolled around and I followed up with them again, they suddenly told me my dad needed two more years of working so he could retire with better benefits. At this point, I was incredibly frustrated.

My wife and I had always wanted to spend a season in Brazil. I am Brazilian, my boss is from Brazil, and my company agreed to let me work remotely from our Brazil office for a few months. You can stay for 183 days without becoming a tax resident, so I planned a three- to four-month trip for my family. I wanted them to experience my culture, and I was going to take advantage of the cheaper dental and healthcare options.

I formulated a compromise. I told my parents that I would agree to stay the extra two years they were pushing for, continuing to maintain their house, if they would watch our dogs just for those few months. They completely agreed. Because everything was settled, I got my kids their citizenship, secured my wife's visa, and aligned everything with work. Mind you, I automated every aspect I could for the dogs' care to make it easy on my parents. They are elderly dogs not sick, just in that low-energy phase.

However, last Thursday, my parents called to inform me that they were no longer willing to care for the dogs. At that point, I completely lost it. I wasn't mad because I wanted to force them to care for the dogs, but because I have been putting up with a terrible situation of codependency for years, and I was really looking forward to making this trip happen. I told them I was officially leaving and would be moved out by December and asked if they would consider reimburse some cost i've spent they said they would not . Since they were not going to reimburse me for all the expensive repairs and appliances, I told them I would be halting my rent payments to recoup Some those costs. At first, they acted nonchalant, saying they didn't need the money that was okay and they could just start renovations early .

But when I actually didn't pay, they called me yesterday to accuse me of retaliating against them. They used every trick in the emotional manipulation playbook to paint me as a horrible son. Am I the asshole here?

(theres no lease btw)

Ok context is he works a job that requires him to travel almost 100%. He is home every other weekend and other than that away on a work site 24/7, we have children that I am raising basically alone. He took this job as just a temporary solution to a long bout of unemployment, and has continued to try to look for other work that keeps him home more. So I try to have a lot of grace for the fact that this is incredibly hard on him too not just me. His favorite hobby is hunting, which sends him out of the house for multiple days at a time. He has taken time off work multiple times to hunt and might spend a day on the tail end of that with the family. When he takes an extra weekend off and flies home he hunts first and then sees us on Sunday. I have been pretty understanding about it in my opinion - I didn’t complain about it the first handful of times because I know being out in nature brings him some much needed peace. But he’s gone several times in the last few months and I am starting to really feel like spending time with me is not a priority to him and thus he must not enjoy it. I can’t imagine acting this way toward someone I deeply enjoy time with.

We have a nice time with what little time he is around. Fun conversation, lots of physical affection and intimacy, relaxing weekends, social time with friends and family. Being as objective as one possibly can be about oneself I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t be appealing to be around me.

I told him how I’m feeling like second to his hobby and how that really hurts given that our time together is already so limited and he got super defensive and acted like he has already had to make big sacrifices on his hunting season, how could I not appreciate him for taking time off work and flying home to come see me when he is done hunting. To me it feels like he thinks I should be grateful for scraps. To him it feels like I am controlling and demanding and ungrateful. What do y’all think, am I the problem?

Edit to add - he was not like this when I met him. He always liked hunting but when we were dating and had no kids it was one trip a year. Slowly increased to a few trips a year. Now it’s every week in the fall and trips to other states during other seasons to go hunt niche things that are in season in various corners of the country.

Another note - he has OCD which is relevant context if you know how that disease works. It’s pretty typical for them to get 150% into something and be blind to the detriments

My wife and I have planned a 7 day cruise and opened it up for anyone in the family to come along that wanted to come along. My Grandma in her 80s still lives alone and is able to get around with a walker.

She is going to be getting a wheel chair, and we are looking for a power chair that will fit in her room.

I don’t see an issue with assisting her around the ship as once she is where we are going she is fine. So moving from room to pool, to lunch/dinner/shows/ports/back to room to change. Those kinds of things.

My wife thinks that the inconvenience of being needed to be moved everywhere is too much and she should not have even offered to come if it put that burden on others.

Other details, we have 4 kids so we don’t do this kind of vacation often because of the expense. There will also be other family coming that would be able to help so it would not be just my family responsible for this.

Edit to add the kids are 12-17 so mostly independent other being told when to get ready for diner or a show.

I have also told her she doesn’t have to do any of it and that I would ask my kids to help but not require it.

For context, my mom and I have a ritual of going to a nearby pub to have a beer once a week. We've been going to this specific place for a while now and the servers know us very well. This one specific server has been good company many of times and we get along with her well. Let's call her Mary

As of recently Mary started to invite herself to our table - which we don't have an issue with. My problem comes in when she comes in from the side that I sit on and just fucken sits. No asking "hey can you scoot over", mind you there is space next to me for her to go around and sit there. So I told my mom this annoys me and she kinds just told me to ignore it.

Today we went for our weekly beer and Mary came over to say hello. So we briefly spoke and then she went her way, and about 20min later she came by and again just sat, excepting me to just move over for her. I let it slide and decided to tell her next time. Y'all my words weren't even cold, she came by again and did it. I then just told her to please go around the table, and she looked at me like I offended her. I then just said I don't like that you expect me as a customer to move over. I mean we're on good basis but no where near friends.

Idk, was I the asshole?

Edit:

No she's definitely not hitting on me, but I understand what you guys mean by asking that. I also want to add that I'm aware of how different I could have handled and worded my response. Thanks all

so i am an early teen, not gonna say my actual age, male and my parents are like the best parents in the world, they are so nice and kind but i have recently noticed them getting more sensitive to slight problems i cause and punishments getting worse. eg: (true story) recently they made a chicken saled (chicken with saled) and they had the bowls sitting on the kitchen island and we were eating at the table 4-5 feat away from the island, i was gonna move the bowls to the kitchen table where there was more room and its where we were sitting anyways. then my mom started YELLING at me and told me to put them back, i tried to say that it might work better if they were over here but she didnt care. i put them back then she went into another room. (my dad was outside on the back porch grilling more chicken, i grabbed one of the big spoons she had out to get food out of the food bowls onto the plate (chicken, cucumber, peppers, and tomatos) and i grabbed some peppers to put on my plate. i accidentally dropped them and my mom came back and started SCREAMING at me. she was screaming bcz she was RLY mad that i didnt get my plate off the kitchen table and put it on the island so it would be easier to get the food. she was REALLY mad and i felt rly bad and then she was just screaming at me and i said "i forgot!" when she started screaming about how shes taught me this before and stuff and i was just repeating "i forgot!" and she was screaming over me and this is when i made my biggest mistake, i said "do you know what forgot means?!" and then she silenced up immediatly. then she sent me to my room with no food and i didnt get to eat for like an hour after, she has NEVER sent me to my room without getting to eat before btw this is new. i was pretty shaken bcz she has sent me to my room before but she has NEVER done it without letting me eat. this kinda thing was happening more and more too. so this is where we stand today, i really hope it doesnt get worse bcz ive spent most of my life as a pretty non-disiplined kid, so this was really scary for me and i just really hope it doesnt get worse. sorry if this is kinda a word saled bcz ive been writing this pretty quickly so i only have time for punctuation. let me know in the comments if you have had this kinda thing happen to u where u have kinda chill parents that get more strict when u get into early teen years.