I took my son for his ice skating lesson this morning and was harassed by two people. 

We arrived and there was only one bench in the lobby (skate tying area) that was unoccupied, but it was full of *stuff:* a shoebox, several bags, and a purse. This is typical, and I have previously moved items when necessary with no issue. 

I placed the items on the floor and sat down to tie my kid's skates. Halfway through, I was accosted by a woman who was looking for the purse, which I showed her was nearby on the floor. She lectured me, at length, about touching other people's things. A bystander also jumped in and lectured me, asking if I was new there (my family and I have been skating and playing hockey there for 20 years). She only identified herself as an employee when I directly asked her. She them threatened to ban me if I ever touched other people's things again. 

Throughout this interaction, I told them SEVERAL TIMES I was trying to tie my kid's skates and would not engage and to please drop it and leave me alone. I did not raise my voice or say anything rude. I barely said anything at all. 

They continued to harass me until we got up to go to the ice, probably five minutes nonstop. 

My view is that these benches exist for PEOPLE to sit and/or tie skates. They are not for storing mountains of unattended gear. I always toss my bag in the corner, away from the benches.There are no lockers, but I think it would be a good improvement for those concerned about the security of their belongings.

I might be more understanding if this was a short interaction, like just calling me an asshole and going on her way. But the continual harassment after telling her to leave me alone was what makes this excessive.

Hey everyone,

Someone asked for an update, so here it is.

Link to the original post :

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/LFOgrSnggz

Update :

Shortly after I told my parents I wouldn’t change my dates, my sister reached out to see if we could talk things through.

Long story short, it didn’t go very well. She emphasized that we need to get along because our parents are getting older, and we’ll eventually have to make decisions together about their care and their estate. That’s true.

I explained how deeply her words had hurt me back then. She apologized for the way she had expressed herself, acknowledging that her words had been harsh. However, she maintained that what she said « wasn’t unwarranted » (rough translation).

Then things got snarky, I left it at that. We’ll give it another shot in a few years I guess.

As for the vacation situation, my parents eventually told both of us that neither of us would be able to visit on the conflicting dates. I told them that taking that stance was enough for me, and that I didn’t mind if my sister ended up being there. They insisted on keeping that arrangement anyway.

We went to Berlin instead with my boyfriend, love the city ! Will certainly go back.

A couple of days ago, my mother and I discussed the situation again. She admitted that they had wanted to honor my reservation since I had booked first. However, things had been extremely tense between my parents and my sister, and they were genuinely afraid she would cut contact with them if they had sided with me. They knew I wouldn’t do that which is why they asked me to switch my dates instead. In the end, my sister really wasn’t happy that neither of us got to visit, but my mother didn’t go into much detail about that.

My mother also told me that she is sometimes shocked by my sister’s outbursts. It seems it happened again. She mentioned that she deliberately avoids sharing information about my life with my sister because she doesn’t want to give her any ammunition. My bipolar diagnosis, for instance.

My mother also brought up the fact that there has always been some jealousy between my sister and me. She insisted that they don’t have a favorite. She might have an explanation though.

I required a lot of attention from my parents during my teenage years. I’ll keep it short : I was a major mess. I was dealing with self-harm, an eating disorder, depression, bullying, and a couple of sexual assaults. Having undiagnosed bipolar disorder didn’t help, or caused some of it. Unclear.

When we argued seven years ago, my sister told me it was my own fault I didn’t fit in back then because I was insufferable. I don’t know, maybe ? I was sad. I spent years being depressed. I can’t get those years back. And to say that it « wasn’t unwarranted »… Fuck that.

Anyway, my mother acknowledged that the difference in attention we received might have felt like favoritism. And overall, it can’t be easy to go from being an only child to having a younger sibling, especially when that sibling needs a lot of attention. Or maybe she was coddled too much growing up.

Something my mother didn’t mention, but that I think is very relevant to this story, is that I always excelled academically despite everything else going on. I graduated early, went on to attend prestigious universities, and earned a couple of master’s degrees by the age of 22.

My parents are considerably prouder of my academic achievements and subsequent career. They don’t say it in so many words, but it’s very obvious.

I was a complete mess growing up, but I might be the favorite child now.

So, yeah. No dramatic reconciliation, no big resolution. Just a little more insight into a dysfunctional family dynamic.

Thanks to everyone who commented on the original post !

D=daughter

H=my husband

M=my mother

This summer, just before D’s school finished for the summer, our basement flooded. After summer holidays started, we sent her to stay at M’s house for the summer while we dealt with insurance and restoration companies, and pouring rain that flooded our basement 3 more times. 

I thought I made it clear that the intention was that D would return home before school started in the fall and attend her regular school. At the end of summer all of the damaged belongings and materials had been removed from the basement and the area had been sterilized. 

Due to our house being one of thousands in the city that flooded, the restoration company can’t finish the rebuild until spring because they simply don’t have time. Our house was flooded with groundwater, that mostly escaped down our floor drain, and the houses that flooded with sewage got taken care of first. Since no more work is being done until spring and there’s no mould or other hazards, it’s safe for D to return home. D never really went in the basement anyway because it was just used for storage. 

A week before school started, I contacted M to help me arrange a ride to return D to the city. M has two friends that transport D and I to and from the city because H and I don’t drive due to disabilities and none of our own friends are willing to be chauffeurs. There’s no bus/train to the town M lives in so I’m totally reliant on her friends. 

M refused to help me arrange a ride and instead enrolled D in the local (all white) private school. The rationale M used is that “I made no effort to come get D because I was unable to get my own friends to drive” (I’ve already discussed this with her multiple times so she has been well aware of this fact for years.)

She also used the fact that we live in a low income, multicultural area and D’s regular school is full of kids from low socioeconomic families and the “problems” that come with that. We bought that house because, at the time it was close to both H and I’s work places. We were also just starting out and money was tight. We have much more money now but we still aren’t in the financial place we want to be in to move, and want to pay off the last 6 years of our mortgage so we will have a considerable down payment to put towards a new home. 

The school in our neighborhood, like all city schools, is overpopulated and the government doesn’t provide enough funding to public schools to hire the number of teachers and aides the kids need. In the private school there’s only 9 kids in D’s class. D has adhd and my mother arranged for D to have her own aide. My mother refuses to give D her adhd medication but since she has someone with her 1-1 and gets constant attention she’s coping well. 

In the city school there’s 20 kids in her class (which is for kids with adhd and autism) with one aide shared with the entire class. D has a high IQ (despite her adhd) and in the public school some accommodations have been made for her to do more advanced assignments, but because there are so many kids in her class, the situation isn’t ideal. In the private school D only gets advanced assignments because she has the 1-1 aide. 

Since the town M lives in is 3h away from the city and we can’t drive, D has to live with M to attend the private school. I’ve been staying with M for the last two weeks and D has been attending the private school while I’ve been there. She loves the school, her small class size, the other kids, her aide, and her teacher. She’s in grade 2 but due to the low number of kids, she’s mixed in with grade 1’s who are more on her social development level. She’s making friends more easily than she does with kids her own age. 

The private school has a better level of instruction due to having fewer kids and teachers being able to spend a lot more time with each student. M likes the fact that the other kids are white from middle class to upper class financially stable backgrounds. (“Her own kind” and “kids that look like her”) as M puts it.” I personally don’t care about that and think it’s good for her to meet kids from all races and backgrounds. M is unashamedly racist. 

The private school gives D a better quality of education and with the ADHD, D doesn’t like change very much. She wants to stay in that school and not return home to her regular school. However, H and I want her to return home and live with us. M of course, doesn’t want D to leave. H told me that I have to return to the city with D or he will call the police to force M to return D to us. M is threatening to call social services and report H and I so she gets custody of D. 

The insurance company finished the demo and removed the basement boxes and belongings to storage (until the rebuild is complete) two days before I went to M’s house. I haven’t had time yet to clean everything up so there’s dishes on the counter and general clutter in the living room. It will take a few days to clean everything up, especially with my disability since I have chronic pain and some mobility issues from my SCI. 

M is threatening to report the house mess to social services and tell them that I’m incapable of caring for D because of my disabilities. H and I have been caring for her for all of her 7 years minus this summer and she’s always been happy. She has lots of toys and clothes, attends school, and none of the house mess is hazardous to her health. Social services would likely give me a week or two to clean up the mess and then come back to check that everything is clean. 

M is 76 and suffers from health problems like kidney stones, high blood pressure, and arthritis so I really don’t think she’s more capable than H and I to care for D. She is more mobile than me and her house is bigger and cleaner than mine (mostly because I help her clean it when I’m down. She never helps me clean mine and won’t even go there because she hates H. She hates H so much that H has never been to her house in all of our 18 year marriage.)

So are H and I the a**holes to take D out of the private school she enjoys, just so we can take her home to live with us? Or should I let D stay in the private school where she gets a higher quality education even though she has to live with M and not her pay?

Edit for Additional context: we live in Asia, my GF is native here and speaks fluent English and she's (IMHO) very attractive. I'm white and not a fluent speaker of this country's language. The ex lover in question is also an expat in a foreign city. My GF is what a lot of immigrant guys fetishize and desire/chase based solely on the cute Asian girl fetish. My GF gets unsolicited attention and advances all the time. That part doesn't bother me - it's par for the course. Mostly her just ignoring it is the way she goes and it works. This time though...

My (40M) GF (33F) and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. At dinner she got a video call notification from a guy she had previously told me about that she used to hook up with that had been hitting her up because he was moving back to the city. He'd been in a different city for about 3 years. Last Christmas he randomly sent her (she showed me the messages that it was a completely unprompted gift and she told him she didn't want it and asked him for a return address or to accept money for it to even things out) a gift of yoga pants that I thought was kind of intimate and inappropriate for a random guy that at that time she said was "just a friend"... Turns out (from my perspective) he was laying groundwork to get back into her life as he was moving back. About a month ago she told me he'd been hitting her up in DMs just saying "hi" and asking if she was free to hang out when he got back. She came to me saying "you're my BF now and I did used to sleep with him years ago so I felt like this was something I needed to tell you about. He's not making romantic overtures now but I don't know how to deal with this, I don't want conflict and I don't want to accuse him of trying to get with me if he's not...what should I do?" I told her "reply that you and your boyfriend would be happy to meet him for coffee and hang out and that'll show his intentions. If he's trying to get with you it sends a clear signal you're taken and if he's not interested in platonic friendship he should back off". She agreed and said it's smart and she even said if he tried to push and say something like "oh you can't hang out without your man?" that she would fire back that she doesn't want to because she wants to protect the relationship. I thought it was settled.

Fast forward to our anniversary dinner and his call. She didn't try to hide it, she just frowned, looked at me and said "sorry" and turned the phone over. I asked if we were all going to be meeting up (per the previous conversation about him) and what the current situation was... And that's when she told me she never had that conversation with him and that she had just left him on read. I was annoyed. She got defensive. That frustration escalated and finally she said "You just want me to make him feel bad so you feel good! You're trying to control me and make me do things your way when I just want to ignore him and he will finally get the point and go away".

Her calling me controlling really hurt, but now I'm left wondering if I'm TAH for wanting her to deal with an ex the way I'm comfortable.

Edited: added ages

I know this sounds silly, but just bear with me.

So for some context, I've been friends with this group of 3 guys for 2 years. They've been mostly great, and we hang out almost every weekend. However, about 2 weeks ago, one of them, we'll call him Mark, said that I kind of look like Harambe. The others started laughing and I didn't find it particularly funny. But whatever we butt heads all the time, I guess its just how guys act.

But then a day or 2 later, we we're on a discord call playing Minecraft when Mark wanted to show us his base via stream. When I was on his stream I saw he had my discord nickname set to "Harambe" and I didn't say anything about it until later. When I confronted him he and the others just started laughing again. They told me to relax and that I was being too sensitive. We've given each other nicknames before but idk I just didn't like this one and it felt like it was in bad faith.

Finally the last straw was yesterday, which was my birthday. When they came over to my house they brought a cake (I think you can see where this is going) and presents. The cake had fucking "Happy Birthday Harambe" written in frosting on it. I yelled at them to stop calling me that and they got all pissy and left. I feel really bad now because they were thoughtful to bring me a cake (which they never had before, though I don't know if it was just for the joke or not) and presents.

They haven't messaged me or anything since yesterday and I'm starting to feel like TAH.

For some extra context I am black but I don't think that is the reason for the nickname. I don't think my friends are racist.

So my ex was in a severe psychotic episode and she was demanding maximum control over my life because she thought it was an agreement we had. She basically wanted me to be a literal slave. This went on for a few months. I was hoping she would just snap out of it because she's not usually like that.

Anyway, she didn't snap out of it. One night while we were arguing about it, and I don't mean screaming at each other. It was actually a pretty calm discussion, but she was frustrated by me continuing to refuse her. She attacked me and I won't describe it here incase that's not allowed in this sub. But she's in jail now being charged with a felony.

Anyway, I think maybe I'm the ahole because she only did what she did because she was having a mental health crisis. And now she's in jail, which is probably horrible for her. And she's facing serious charges. I also don't want to support her ever again. She's never been able to be self sufficient. I took care of everything for her and I was her only support. And she burned the bridges with her family, so I don't know what she's going to do once she gets out. She'll have nothing and no one. I feel very guilty. Like I'm throwing someone to the wolves just to make my life easier.

I am visiting and staying with my godmother (92) and her roommate (99) for less than a week. The roommate's granddaughter is also here and staying in her renovated school bus parked in front of the house. She was supposed to be gone by the time I arrived.

I've never met the granddaughter but have heard enough over the years to know she has mental health issues and may be bipolar. She is not on any meds.

Decades ago the roommate told the granddaughter that she was leaving her the house. But mainly due to the deteriorating mental health and no income, she changed her will and is leaving the house to her grandson.

She was going to write a long letter to the granddaughter and tell her this AFTER she left, but a cousin told her the truth, inadvertently. This happened hours before I arrived. My godmother was the only one awake when I got there because my flight was five hours late.

The granddaughter was supposed to be here for three days, today is day 11. She has been kindly asked to leave a few times and does not. This has stressed the roommate out so much that the doctor's office called a few days ago to check on her because her pace maker sent a distress signal.

She has bags under her eyes, looks terrible and is a nervous wreck. I have never seen her look this way and my godmother is terribly worried.

I finally met the granddaughter when I returned from getting take out and she told me that her grandmother is vicious and she hopes I get better treatment. I was really taken off guard and did not respond. I bit my tongue.

This 50-something woman did not talk during dinner and gave short, curt answers. She behaved like a petulant child and pouted. She was giving off unstable, weird vibes.

Everyone is walking on egg shells. My godmother and I are planning to go out and I asked if she thought it was safe because I think something may happen.

When we return, I was going to go back out and visit the police station, because I'm not sure who to talk to, other than Reddit. The city ordinance states a vehicle like that can only be parked for three days, but it's not really enforced.

I don't know why the granddaughter is hanging around when she has been asked to leave.

My son is 8 years old and my nephew is 8 years old. They have been close since birth.

Me and my brother do NOT speak and haven’t for years now. He isn’t a very nice person to me or my mother. But by MY doing I make sure my son and his cousin have a relationship. With no help or effort from my brother and his wife, I do everything.

I’m very respectful and so is my son. Anytime me and the kids are going to have fun (jumping, carnival, amusement park, park, games, birthday parties etc.) my son always asks for his cousin to join, I ALWAYS initiate and go pick up my nephew, I sometimes even pay for his entertainment (there have been times my brother sends him with money which is helpful) but since I invite him, it’s on me to provide his transportation and food no doubt, and I’m okay with that.

I’m a very active mother and I take my children to do some activity of some sort at least once every couple weeks. So I have my nephew often. Also, my son has his own phone and sometimes will ask while on the phone with my nephew if he can come over and without even speaking to me, my brother will just drop my nephew off at my house… I don’t care but it’s the point I guess….

Anyways, recently I’ve had to sit my son down about some things I’ve noticed about my nephew and this dynamic we have. Mostly because my son notices that my WE do everything, but my son is never asked in return. My brother/nephew has NEVER invited my son anywhere, never allows him to stay the night, never takes him anywhere, he’s not even allowed to come over BUT we do everything for my nephew. Also, my nephew doesn’t come over if he doesn’t get his way about certain things… for example. My son has to get off the video game at 9 pm sharp every night and my nephew told my son that he “doesn’t understand how parents think they can just tell kids what to do and expect them to have to do it”

This really sat in a month ago when it was my nephews birthday and my son begged him to ask his parents if he could come. They agreed because it was at his grandmothers house, I took my son and dropped him off to play and enjoy the party. I went to Walmart and spent 40$ on my nephews gift and brought it back by because my son was so excited to give it to him.

A week later was my youngest sons birthday and my nephew was invited by my son and my nephew said “I don’t like your moms friends kids so if they are there I won’t come” my son was so sad… but accepted it. Then my nephew told him “tell your mom to stop inviting those kids and maybe we can hang out” so then my son gets upset with me because he doesn’t understand… they didn’t sent a gift or anything, just ignored it completely and then she texted me saying “sorry he has a fever” which was a lie because I HEARD what my nephew said on the phone about why he wouldn’t come lol. then after that, my son asked if my nephew would want to come to holiday world with us the next day and my nephew says “sorry my friend is staying the night and my mom made fun plans with us to do” and hung up on my son…

Then the situation that took the cake! My nephew came over and they were all playing. My sons dad told our son if he cleaned his room and finished his chores he could get Roblox bucks so my son did everything asked. My nephew kept asking my son when he was getting them, which I thought was odd but kids are odd anyways, you know? Then my nephew went home, called my son and asked my son had he got them yet. My son said he was about to, so I assumed they were planning something on this game together.

Dad gets home, puts money on the game. And 5 minutes later I hear the loudest scream and cries from my son. I run to his room and he says “(nephews name) stole ALL MY MONEY” I asked how and he said my nephew told him to send him his money so he could show his this cool tool and then send it back. My son didn’t know better and did and then once my nephew received the money he hung up on my son and blocked his number…

I instantly called my SIL and she told me she didn’t know anything about it and my nephew was crying because my SON gave him all his money on the game and he didn’t even want it to begin with? I said “no that not right, he told my son to do it and then took it” and she said “well sorry they should know better than to be doing this but your son gave it to him” and just didn’t say anything else.

I was floored but chose to look past it because my son loves him. But am I over reacting of how they handle these situations? Like my son feels like he is heavily outcasted and I feel he is too. It hurts cause he has NO OTHER FRIENDS. But I am actively trying to figure out how to get rid of my nephew from my sons life. I don’t want to hurt my son but I don’t know what else to do

Or AITAH

Recently went on vacation with my really close friend of 10 years and her baby as it was first time she was traveling abroad with her baby and she wanted someone else there to help/spend time with them

Throughout the vacation she posts cute pics of her and her baby on insta etc and posted a really cute post about having the best time away with her baby. After the vacation she has done another post about how she had a really nice vacation with her baby and all about her first time away but not once did she add me in any photos or even thank me for going away with them.

The trip wasnt cheap and I had to use annual leave to go there. AITAH for wanting some sort of recognition that I helped her and came along for the vacation?

EDIT: I've not had a thanks in general so I thought the post may have been the thanks

I 15M am a picky eater, but since April, I’ve been eating watermelon or cantaloupe every single day. It’s been amazing for my health, and I haven't gotten sick once since starting this habit. My family knows these are my main after school foods.

Today, my dad and I were hanging out, laughing and joking around while eating. Literally 10 seconds later, he started unpacking our cooler, and the watermelon accidentally spilled everywhere, making a huge, sticky mess.

He instantly went 0 to 100 and crashed out over it. He started screaming at the top of his lungs, dragging my mom into it by insulting her and yelling, "We just HAD to buy that chicken!" Then he turned on me, screaming that he's never buying this "sticky shit" again and telling me to just eat other food. When I got upset, he insulted me, told me to stop acting like a baby, and said my eating habits make no sense.

To make a bad situation worse, he then pivoted into a completely unrelated rant about how I'm never going to get my driving permit because I won't wear glasses. I do have 20/40 vision, but glasses make me feel extremely uncomfortable, and I physically cannot put contacts in. It felt like he was just looking for things to weaponize against me because he was mad about a mess he made.

I'm really upset, stressed, and worried he’s going to ban the foods that keeps me healthy just because he had a tantrum over an accident.

I went into detail about the driver’s permit situation on a driving subreddit already. However, they all agreed with my dad and 99% of them called me immature and lazy.

AITAH for being upset and defensive, or did he completely overreact?

Edit: Sorry, I terribly phrased the glasses part, I am willing to and absolutely will wear glasses for driving and at my house. Just don't want to at school because thats where it would feel uncomfortable. But my parents want me to either wear the glasses at all times no matter what or no permit at all.

I was put in charge of the party fund at work years and years ago. It's money we don't have to report, and I cash the checks for the money that we get from the vending machines. I've always been very careful not to spend it excessively because it doesn't replenish very fast.

Last year, I told a coworker how much we had in the fund (my first mistake). In November, a lot of people were in danger of losing their food stamps, so she had the idea of using some of the funds to buy canned food to donate to the food bank. I was all for helping people in need, but she didn't specify just how much she was going to take out (my second mistake). She took over $300 out of the fund that had a total of maybe $5-600 at the time. I was frustrated, but I let it go because it went to help people in need.

Fast forward to this year, in August we moved to our new building and she and another coworker had the idea to have a "housewarming party." They asked me about using some money out of the party fund to pay for food and prizes for the cornhole tournament. I said sure, how much? They wanted $250 for it. I said no, we can do it for a lot less, then they went to our manager who says yes to everything because they didn't like my answer. I found out, and went to him as well and told him I know they're going behind my back. He did nothing.

The party came and went, it was fun, but there were only a handful of coworkers, spouses, and kids that went. It was a very small party. I thought nothing of it because I (very wrongly) assumed that they were respectful of this boundary that I'm in charge of this money.

Two weeks ago, I got a $100 cash payment from a customer and had to give her $72 change out of our petty cash box (we're not retail, our customers usually get invoices that they pay later). That was fine, I could make the change for her with what I had in there, but that emptied the cash box. I went to break the $100 and make more change for petty cash using the smaller bills out of the party fund, I found that I couldn't do it because I had less than $100 cash in it. I looked at the ledger and they had written $245 for that party. There were no receipts, and after reconciling the funds, I found it was $17 short. I hadn't looked at it until then because there were 20,000 other things I had to worry about during the move.

I sent a very terse email to my coworker and my manager, reiterating that I had told them "no" to using that much money out of the party fund, and that now we likely won't have enough to have a nice Christmas party, especially because we've moved buildings and won't be getting nearly as much from the vending machine checks. My coworker dismissively replied that a lot of people don't like the potluck anyway, and can't I just request more money for petty cash? (Well now we'll HAVE to do another potluck because there's no money to do anything else...) I explained to her that it's a long, drawn out process to get petty cash and if I got another cash payment right now, I would have to reject it because I couldn't make change for them. I got pretty angry in my email and said, "$245 for a party for a handful of people? Really?! The party fund isn't a personal honey pot that they can just take whatever they want on a whim. This money will be under lock and key from now on."

On top of that, the money was kept at my desk, and it feels very violating for them to sneak into it and take that money when I wasn't around.

Last Monday, she came stomping into my work room, carrying a couple boxes of Christmas ornaments and asked me where they go. I told her upstairs with the rest of the Christmas stuff. And it was, "YOU can organize the parties from now on! I'm DONE!!!" and she stomped out.

I don't really care about that part, I've organized our Christmas parties in the past, so I have no problem doing it again, and I can get another coworker to help me with it. For past parties, I've spent maybe $60 to do a taco bar and everyone brought side dishes and it was totally fine. We do a white elephant gift exchange, which is always fun. We don't need to do excessive games, ornament hunts (some of which were hidden in people's personal office spaces, making it uncomfortable for them, and distracting busy employees from their work), gingerbread house contest, etc.

My main issue here is the entitlement and lack of respect of boundaries, then throwing a tantrum when those boundaries are reinforced. AITAH?

TL;DR - My best friend's flat was a mess, she kept talking about or to her boyfriend, and she spends all her time drinking.

I (18M), and my best friend 'Aisha' (18F) have been friends for around 10 to 11 years. About a week ago, I went to go visit Aisha at her student accommodation because I had found a 3 day availability to leave town and travel up north to visit her. I had confirmed with her that everything was good to go, and that when I arrived in her city, she would be there to pick me up and guide me back to her place.

However, when I arrived in her city at the agreed time after a 4 hour coach ride, she failed to show up, saying that she had gone drinking the night before and slept overnight at her boyfriend's place, and still hadn't even cleaned her room because she only woke up an hour before I arrived. We agreed to meet up halfway since I didn't know her exact address, and when I had arrived, her bedroom was a lot messier than I expected. She had her bed still not made (despite not even sleeping in it that earlier night), she had used cups and plates on her desk, her clothes thrown over the bed, and full bin bags waiting to get thrown out laying on the floor. After she cleaned her room, we made plans to go to a local pub so I could try drinking for the first time, but we made sure to eat dinner first. During the time before the pub, all she talked about was her boyfriend despite me asking about her new friends (plural), and when we were at the pub, she invited her boyfriend to come drink with us without at least informing me beforehand, and he brought along his friend too. I had a good time, but I can't lie and say it didn't irk me.

The next day, Aisha and I had planned a bunch of things to do but I essentially spent the rest of the day waiting for Aisha, her bf, and his friend to do their stuff instead. The next morning over, I woke up before her again and made sure to put all my stuff back into my suitcase as I would be leaving that evening, and she would be at her uni lectures while I would be around the city doing my own thing. However, since it was raining, and I was sick, I instead spent my time at her accom, and cleaned her place while she was gone. I started with her bedroom, which seemed just messy, and not dirty, but my opinion definitely changed when I went to use her toilet. I noticed that her toilet brush still hadn't been used despite her having lived there for over 4 weeks now, and that she had no cleaning agents for her bathroom. When I entered her kitchen, I once again noticed a lack of cleaning supplies, kitchen roll, ect. - the basics, and frankly speaking, it gave me the ick. I then later found my eyeliner, the one I had just bought a month ago, in her makeup box for some reason (she doesn't even wear brown korean eyeliner?) when I had left it in my suitcase that morning. Anyhow, at around 6pm, she was supposed to walk me to the station so I could get home, but she was late (again) because she was busy shopping for posters after class.

When we finally managed to get to the station after we had run there, she told me that she was hoping that I'd visit her again sometime next month, or at least in December, when I had told her straight to her face that 'I'm sorry, but I don't plan on visiting again anytime soon, and I'm both in a rush and a bad mood right now.' When I got home, I texted her about how I felt that she needed to spend less time outside drinking with her boyfriend, and more time cleaning her room.

There is a lot of things I've skipped because it's already way to long, but I essentially blamed her inability to maintain her hygiene on her drinking problem that she's beginning to develop.

Two years ago, my husband’s grandmother had a severe outburst while staying at our house. Out of nowhere, she accused us of trying to kill our kids (ages 6 and 10 now) over a safe, hidden play nook my husband built them. This was alarming because she has a history of calling Child Protective Services (DFCS) on her own daughter over nothing. Later that day, she screamed in our driveway and wildly claimed my in-laws were trying to crash the car and kill her.
After that, my husband and I set a strict boundary: we sleep under separate roofs.
We haven’t seen her in two years, though we’ve tried visiting her in her town (she declined) and she’s always been welcome to attend our holiday hosting—just under the "separate roofs" rule. She’s very old, and recently mentioned being lonely on the holidays, which breaks our hearts. We’d never want to cut her off from family.
Now, my in-laws would love to bring her for Thanksgiving, and she is genuinely welcome for the holiday meal! But she and my in-laws (who drive her) will need to stay at a hotel or rental nearby.
This boundary comes down to our kids' stability, protecting ourselves from potential false DFCS reports, and ensuring everyone has a safe place to retreat to if things escalate.
Some family members think we're holding a grudge or unfairly inconveniencing my in-laws. But given her history, "separate roofs" is the only way we feel comfortable including her safely.
So, Reddit, AITA for holding firm on our boundary for Thanksgiving?

UPDATE / Edit: I can’t believe how much this blew up! Just addressing some common questions and feedback here:

On her mental health and dementia: Yes, I’m pretty sure she has an undiagnosed mental illness she’s dealt with her entire life, and age-related dementia is likely heightening things now. She grew up in a generation where mental health was never talked about. When she called child services on her daughter previously, she genuinely thought she saw something happen (nothing did), so in her mind, she believed she was trying to do the right thing.

Medical evaluations: My in-laws haven’t taken her to the doctor because she adamantly refuses. They do let her stay at their house, where she feels safer. I completely agree she needs a proper medical evaluation—I just honestly don't know how they could force her to go without an involuntary hold or full guardianship.

Empathy and my personal background: I am a huge empath, which makes this situation especially painful. Both my MIL and I lost our dads at a young age, so I deeply understand the weight of taking care of an aging mother (even if mine is a very different kind of "crazy"). That personal loss also makes me crave resolution and closure, since I never got that chance with my own dad. As she’s at the end of her life I’d like closure and to feel like we all did right by her.

The kids: While I know protecting my daughters is priority #1, they are also at an age where they’re confused about why they haven’t seen Great Grandma in so long. I’m hoping seeing her in a structured, safe environment will help ease that confusion for them without putting them in harm's way.

Logistics and hosting: No one else in the family can step in and house her because that side of the family doesn't live nearby. It's extra tricky logistically because we host Thanksgiving every year for 20+ people, and historically, our home has always had an open-door policy for out-of-town relatives to stay over.

The "Separate Roofs" rule & Safety Plan: To address those suggesting home cameras or monitoring—while we appreciate the tech ideas, "separate roofs" remains non-negotiable. It guarantees that if she experiences paranoia or an episode during the day, there is a clear, immediate destination for her to go away from our children.

Thank you again to everyone who commented! Your feedback really helped us fine-tune a balanced plan that keeps our kids safe while keeping the door open for family connection.

Context: my partner and his sister (who I’ll call Emily) had this friend (who I’ll call Steph). Steph been a long time friend to the two of them for a long while, was even friendly with me.

Steph was in a terrible relationship for a while and she finally broke up with her boyfriend. When that happened she went FULL blown manic for a few months. Good for her for finally sticking up for herself. BUT when it happened she started being really rude to my partner, Emily and I. Emily has really bad depression issues and had had them for a while. Steph told emily one day that she needs to put a pin in her issues because she just broke up with her boyfriend (this was about a month after the actual breakup). Steph started being really weird too. I was running a dnd campaign and Steph pulled me aside and tried to get me to add some sexual undertones to the session and got upset that I wouldn’t (hard no I’m not RPing that). She also was also projecting her insecurities on everyone else and would not listen to us when we’d try to reinforce her. Even after the breakup, we told her that she’s better than her ex and didn’t need him and it went straight to her head. She immediately jumped on some dating apps and started being absolutely evil to these guys. She’d flaunt how she was calling guys ugly and calling them losers for not texting back soon enough directly to them. This one guy didn’t text back for a day and she told him that if he wanted to waste her time he should have just said that from the get go and called him an asshole. She SHOWED everyone what she was saying to these guys.

Fast forward another month. Steph is still being kind of terrible towards Emily and my partner. They wound up getting into an argument because Steph wanted to go to the club with everyone and we all said no because things have financially been rough and we didn’t have the money for it. She went on a tangent about it about how we never want to hang out with her and we don’t truly care for her. Mind you we literally invite her over EVERY time we’re in town, I invited her to the DND campaign and I made it a note to not even run it without her if she couldn’t make it.

A little more time goes by. There was this fair that was going on. Steph invited us to it (she asked at the beginning of the month and the fair was at the end of the month). I said we will see about going it’s just a lot is going on right now since I had just got a new job, birthdays are coming up and my partner and I have to do some traveling and it’s falling on a really wonky weekend. Steph said “you can just say no you don’t have to lie to me”.

This genuinely rubbed me the wrong way and I flat out told her “you have been acting terrible to everyone since you broke up with your boyfriend. What’s you problem”. Emily and my partner have been saying the same thing but I was the one who finally said it to her. And it’s true she was acting terrible and projecting her issues onto us and treating us like we’re the problem.

A couple days after I called her out she apologized to me for being rude and I apologized to her as well. All seemed fine in the world.

Since then she’s done NOTHING but talk shit about me behind my back, trying to get my partner to hang out with her without me on the weekends (mind you we have a mid distance relationship so we spend fri-sun together swapping between each others houses). She’s called me an incel (I’m very gay and actively in a relationship so I’m just like ?????????) And Steph just messaged Emily that their friendship is a chore and she doesn’t feel like it’s worth even fighting for. Mind you Emily didn’t do a single thing in this whole situation.

Both my partner and Emily agreed that what I said was true but It wasn’t my place to say it. AITAH for saying the quiet part out loud? I apologized to her for being out of line. She apologized to me for giving me an attitude for no real reason. It’s been a couple months and she’s still talking shit about me behind my back and trying to make plans with my partner without me knowing damned well we’re a power couple and do everything together because we’re a team (we’ve been tougher a long time and our relationship is AMAZING)

Hey guys, 27 (f) and just wanted to share a story and see people’s perspectives. My dad was abusive growing up, but sort of changed when i became an adult and moved to uni. But sometimes i get glimpses or i see here and there behavior that just sets me off. I was very very volatile in my teenage years, mostly to stand up to him, but that meant i also didn’t have a good relationship with my sister who was 5 years younger. I was generally very irritable, and not very nice to her. And she was very stubborn and immature. Our fights would get very physical. There was also a sense that my parents liked me better or preferred me. I think that’s because i was underweight and they perceived me as weaker, and encouraged me/gave me more food. But i can’t say i was feeling much love, i really felt like i lived in a war zone. But my sister still makes comments on how i wasn’t good to her or how she wasn’t preferred.

But anyway, we grew up, things got stable, nothing was really talked about, but we all have these weights on our chests. My dad has moments he breaks down crying and saying he was a bad father, my mom sort of gets dissociated from reality, and my sister has sort of developed an armor, acting very confident and getting mean sometimes. Me, i went from borderline disruptive to very quiet and empathetic. I feel everybody’s pain and burden. I try very hard to keep things normal, because my wish was always for us to be normal like other families so that i could focus on my goals.

So i act in a way that doesn’t raise questions. I dress, talk, and act appropriately, at least until i can make it out and become independent. The problem is that my sister is now a very headstrong character, which i don’t mind at all. But she clashes with my father a lot (mostly over how she dresses), and my father gets mad/upset and shows a reaction that in turn makes me very agitated. In day to day life, i make amendments for people. I’m kind and try to meet them at their level and talk about their problems. But when my sister makes mean comments, or my father behaves in an off manner, these things pile up until finally i burst and give such a big reaction that everyone gets just shellshocked. I behave very badly and emotionally in these moments, calling them names and being so mean that is way beyond how everyone else was acting. Usually everyone comes out crying out of these episodes i have. And now the topic of discussion is my reaction instead of everyone else’s problematic behavior.

Maybe it’s because of my childhood, but i feel very invisible and don’t feel like i can get them to listen any other way. I’ve tried addressing things more normally but i get flippant sorrys, like they just want to move on with their day. And i feel like i can’t make them see any other way.

But now i made this reaction, my sister moved to the dorm, my dad stepped out, only coming home at nights and i barely see him and my mom is exhausted. This is so far away from the normal and stable way i wanted things to be, and i feel very heavy and despondent. Feel like i’m sinking into depression, barely able to do the things i was doing so easily before.

I was living alone in an apartment in another city for 2 years or so and had a full time job, but moved back to my hometown to focus on immigration. But my relationship to my family members was way better when i was away from them and ever since i got back i’ve been either physically sick or mentally in some sort of anguish. I haven’t been able to focus much.

And now I have a sense that i ruined everything.

Hi. My (F27) younger sister (F22) had a secret wedding at a courthouse two days ago. Only my parents, her (now) husband’s (M28) parents and two of their best friends were invited. They were strictly instructed to keep the wedding a secret from us (the siblings) and our entire family/friend network. However, my mom was feeling torn about the secret keeping request and talked to me and my other five siblings about it.

Supposedly they’re planning on having a wedding/vow renewal in a year and will pretend to get married then in front of our family/friends. So, my mom doesn’t want me to say anything to her and expose that she shared the truth, but my sister just got married! I teared up seeing photos of her in her wedding dress at the courthouse.

A little background, my sisters new husband has been married before and didn’t want to have another “big wedding”. It seems like their compromise was this courthouse now (his wish), reception later (her wish) situation. Aside from this WIBTAH question, I’m concerned an actual wedding is not going to happen and I won’t be able to celebrate with her.

I genuinely don’t care that they got married now rather than the proper ceremony they’re “planning” in a year, but I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to attend or celebrate their wedding. I think it’s weird that they’re keeping it a secret. We’re not best friends, but I thought our family was closer than that. So, WIBTAH if I give her a call to congratulate her and share that I’m sad I couldn’t celebrate her wedding, against my mom’s wishes?

EDIT: Thanks everyone for your insights. Some comments here are helping me reflect deeper on why this is sticking with me so much. I get it’s not about me and I need to move on. I think my biggest concern is that I don’t want to lie, and maybe she’d want to know mom spilled the beans?

Also… I don’t have a small heart, and I’m not self-absorbed, I just care about my sister. We have a large family (6 kids) and she’s a middle child. With our family dynamics, I recognize that there haven’t been a lot of opportunities to make her the center of attention. I guess I wanted that for her because that’s what she told me she wanted for herself many times leading up to me finding out. And because I know her husband really didn’t want a big wedding, I just don’t want her to be steamrolled. She’s younger than him. Maybe I could’ve worded my post differently to not make it sound so self centered, but I genuinely feel confused and sad I couldn’t celebrate with her.

I did originally make this post after a few glasses of wine so the raw feelings came through! lol

Hello,

My sister is pretty mad at me because I told our parents about an incident that occurred at her house last week. Looking to get perspectives on this.

AITAH for telling others about the fork incident?
Or AITAH for withholding information about the bedroom incident?

At dinner, her daughter (let’s say Ella) was eating raviolis with us and my sister’s boyfriend (Tom).

* Ella (11 year old girl) is having some attitude to her Mom at the dinner table
* her Mom tells her to go to her room
* Ella is eating (food on her fork traveling to her mouth) and Tom says “that’s it” then grabs her whole hand and physically takes the fork out of her hand and scolds her to go to her room
* Tom used some physical prompting to get Ella out of her seat and to her room, details are blurry. Ella is resisting.
* Once inside the bedroom (lights were off in the room, 8pm) , Ella keeps trying to leave and Tom is physically preventing it. He also shut the door at one point, I don’t know what he said to her then.
* Ella is crying the whole time
* Tom tells Ella not to leave. She says, “but I’m hungry” and he says “well you should have thought of that before you…”. He also says there will be consequences if she leaves the room.
* my sister isn’t saying anything the whole time
* I hug Ella before I leave. I try to comfort her before I leave. I know I’m probably undermining my sister but I tell Ella that no one should ever speak to her the way Tom is speaking, that was disrespectful. I tell my sister that Tom should never have a reason to touch Ella during punishment and I’m pretty upset about the whole thing. My sister tells me they will give her dinner later.
* note: my sister only has Ella over her house a few days a week right now and Ella lives with her grandma the rest of the time. I tell my sister I can tutor Ella at her grandma’s instead. My sister then tells me to stay away from Ella for now. I’ve been tutoring Ella once a week.

I don’t know if this is abuse or standard punishment but it seemed really scary for Ella so I told people who love Ella, since it is a red flag.

My perspective is a bit skewed because I had a lot of emotional abuse growing up, my sister is telling me I’m overreacting because of this. And now my sister says I shouldn’t see Ella for a while because of this projection. I told my Mom, step Dad, and **other** sister the facts about the fork incident. I didn’t share the bedroom incident with everyone, knowing it could create more family drama

AITAH for telling others about the fork incident?
Or AITAH for withholding information about the bedroom incident? If I share the bedroom incident, it could be another data point to influence how often Ella stays at her Moms (eg. if they explore her staying longer).

Long story short, my wife is at a work conference with several of her closest friends. I have been working on our shared MacBook, which is linked to her Apple ID. We both have full access to each other’s phones.

I saw a few texts, come across and clicked on them, with multiple pictures of her in the same man in a bar. I know her friends are friends with this man, but I do not know him and have never met him. To my knowledge, she has not either before this trip.

Inherently, I would not find this an issue. There are a few things that stick out to me. There is a text to her friend group while they were at the bar where she asked where they went. My wife said she was waiting on said Man and was heading their way.

He also text her around three in the morning and said “don’t forget to ask what I said. You know if you really want to know”.

I find all of this combined inappropriate. First, I would not take pictures of me and another woman alone that I just met. I also find it inappropriate for her and him to be together while her friends are elsewhere. The text at 3 AM is also suspect to me.

I want to confront her about this when she gets home, but I know she will respond with how I’m being completely insecure and he was a fun guy. I plan to ask her how she would feel if she was in the same situation. It has been eating me up since we just came out of a hard season about six months ago and I’ve been doing very well.

WIBTAH to bring this up or do I wait and see if she does?

So. little back story. One of my friends in my friend group doesn't like to use his bank card for buying anything. He will always withdraw money from a post office or a bank. This limits his spending to in person.

So the reason i ask is he keeps asking us to pay for items for him if he passes us the money in cash. There's small stuff like even setting up Netflix. He wont pay for it but will want to use ours for free. He will ask for us to pay for Ubers and then want to pass us the money. He doesn't even pay for his phone contract as its paid with someone else's bank details and he passes them the money. The list goes on. You get the idea. if anything needs to be paid online or via contactless he wont. The straw that broke the camels back came was when we went food shopping, spent maybe 40 minutes walking around and because it was card only he walked out.

Its not a problem but all of us dont carry cash and would need to travel to put it back into our accounts. His excuse is he doesn't trusts the banks. we have explained your wages go into a bank what's the issue. So AITAH for calling him out?

EDIT: Thanks for everyone views its been enlightening to see everyone thinks my friends strange haha I have recently found out his phone contract isn't in his name but his mothers.

As the title says I was driving down the local highway today (highway 34 between 2 towns)
And there was a truck infront of me with a dog loose in the box, lunging and barking at cars passing the opposite direction, you know how some dogs do at passing traffic. But this was obviously pretty nerve wracking to see driving infront of you on a wet rainy day🙃 I thought of calling to report it but then I thought, is it really my place?! Is this something that report worthy?! Would they think im stupid😹 so I ended up having to turn a side road to get home but something in me just didn’t feel right not calling. So I made my first ever 911 call today at almost 28 😹 was I over reacting? Did I do the right thing or should I have just minded my own business 👀

I (33M) am the only person in my immediate family with a pickup truck, and out of my 3 siblings, I am by the most handy and historically willing. My parents own a lake cabin since I was born, and over the years, my dad has told me plenty of times that it’s "our cabin" (mine included), usually while I had a tool in my hand and was actively working on it. Because I genuinely believed him, I’ve always put in a massively disproportionate amount of work compared to my siblings. Actually, I believe he was telling the truth. However, between having the truck and knowing how to fix things, I became the default guy for hauling, property maintenance, and heavy lifting. I never minded the unfair labor split because I believed it was my place too, and it was my sanctuary away from the city. I believed I had a stake.

However, my dad has memory issues now, so he no longer calls the shots and my mom completely runs the show.

That illusion of it being "our cabin" shattered, Atleast in my eyes, over a major holiday weekend at the end of the summer. Back during the prior holiday earlier in the summer, when my sibling's newborn was just 1 month old, I had explicitly told my mom let's just keep the cabin to our immediate family only. She agreed and that weekend was peaceful.

Despite knowing how I felt, for the next major holiday weekend when our immediate family and the now 3 month old baby were already filling the house, my mom didn't ask how anyone felt. She just unilaterally announced to us that my cousin, her husband, and their 1 year old toddler, and their dog, were coming to stay too. I must add, going up to the cottage for the three major summer holidays has been a staple of our family, we (me and my siblings) essentially earmark those weekends.

It wasn't a lack of bedrooms; it was the complete shift in the vibe. With two babies, extended family, and my parents shifting into "host mode," a relaxing family weekend turned into guaranteed chaos. I reminded my mom of what I had said the prior holiday and told her that because of the overcrowding, I was opting out and wouldn't be coming up, and that I want to relax on my time off. I was internally annoyed, as it was 10 days prior to the weekend and now I had no plans - but I kept that to myself. This was probably the first time I chose not to go.

Instead of respecting where I was coming from, she brushed off my concerns completely, expressed disappointment, and got defensive. I ended up privately venting to my dad about how frustrating the whole situation was, though with his memory issues, he can't really step in to mediate or enforce anything anymore. Since that weekend, my mom and I have both been distant with each other. She hasn't brought the issue up once and I guess swept it under the rug, as usual.

I’m in my 30s now, my career is demanding, and my free weekends are limited. Maintaining a place that I apparently don't have a say in on marquee weekends just seems completely pointless to me now, especially when I'm doing heavy maintenance projects my siblings never have to touch. I love my parents, but it's not my place.

Fast forward to now. My mom sent a group text to me and my brother asking us to load and haul heavy dock sections up to the cabin. They bought new docks and they're currently at their house, the cottage is 2 hour drive. I'm the only one with a truck, so basically it's indirectly asking me to use my truck, as well.

I haven't responded. I’ve purposely leaving the group chat on read, as of now, until I can have a direct conversation to establish actual rules (headcount caps, consulting everyone before inviting extended family, and fair labor expectations across all siblings). My silence in the chat is definitely creating tension while they wait on me to confirm. I don't know what else to do, my mom is not good at handling conflict, and without my dad as the buffer it's far worse.

AITA for leaving her on read and refusing to be the family moving company after how the holiday weekend was handled? I no longer want to be summoned to give up a full day or weekend a few times a year to help them maintain their property. I love my parents, but why should I keep this up if I can't even use the place on major holidays.

So I won’t specify company or exact names for obvious reasons. I recently was at my place of employment and left my Yeti coffee cup in one of the restrooms. It’s not just a Yeti cup. My wife got it as a birthday present for me and my kids put their favorite stickers on it. So I get a call on the radio that a machine was down and left before I cleaned it in the sink. Completely spaced. That’s on me. Left it in there for hours without even realizing. This was at 11:15 pm

At 4 am I realized my mistake. I went back and it was gone. I proceeded to gaslight and blame myself thinking maybe I just misplaced it and nobody actually stole it. I have a habit of leaving my magnetic flashlights on machines and work stations so that’s not out of the question. I also didn’t want to stir up drama at work as most of the floor workers are migrants on visas working for temp agencies. I’m not trying to get someone fired and or kicked out of the country over a fucking cup, regardless of the sentimental value it held.

I go talk to the night shift supervisor the next evening. First thing I say is “I don’t want problems. I don’t want drama. I don’t want anyone fired. I just want my cup back and leave it at that.” He does a short check of the cameras and doesn’t see anything. Turns out he was looking at the wrong date.

A couple days later I see one of my coworkers, not one of the regular floor workers, walking around and even talking to me, with a cup that suspiciously looks like mine. I don’t say anything though. I know he saw me looking intently at it but I tell myself “nah. He wouldn’t. Don’t cause drama and make false accusations.”

Well, later that shift I see the cup on his toolbox. Curiosity gets the better of me and I go look at it. The dents are the same on the bottom. I know those dents. Those are my dents. But I still have my doubts. So I let it be. I then ask my wife in the morning if she happens to have any pictures of my cup. She does. A picture with it blurry in the background on the kitchen counter. But there’s something u can see in the blur. 3 distinctly sized and shaped paint chips on the handle.

So tonight I come in. I walk over. I see the chips on the handle of “his cup.” They match. It’s my damn cup. So I wait til I see him and I ask him one-on-one “hey man. That’s a nice cup. Where’d u get it from?” Anyone who hears that obviously knows you’re being asked where u bought it. He responds “oh. I got it from my crib” and then unprompted adds “I’ve had it for over a year.” So I tell him my cup was stolen and to keep an eye out.

I immediately go talk to the supervisor. Now I’m pissed. He just lied to my face. Over a fucking cup. We re check the cameras. Caught in 4k. Walks into bathroom at 3:37 am. No cup in hand. Walks out at 3:40 am. Cup in hand. Sticker already removed. Straight to his car in the parking lot. Supervisor tells me to go away for now.

I get a call 30 minutes later telling me to come to their desk. I go over. The thief is there. Sup is there with another sup. They tell me he admitted it instantly. Now I was petty and got my jabs in like responding “oh because it was on video, right?” Stuff to that effect. They then have him verbally apologize to me.

He proceeds to tell me that it was an accident. He knew it was mine. He didn’t mean to steal it. It’s not his fault cause nobody was around. But he was gonna give it back and got nervous. All this time I’m obviously not buying the bull shit. I’m asking “cool so why’d u lie to my face?” “Why did u take the sticker off before u even left the bathroom?” “If u wanted to give it back why didn’t u tell me u found it?” “Do u often steal other people’s stuff when u see nobody is around?” (I got in another dig. Maybe not the most mature response but eh I’m heated).

Supervisor told him this should be embarrassing and a learning moment and he should be embarrassed. He then agrees and calls it a “life reflecting moment.” Supervisor tells him he’s lucky I didn’t want any problems because if I had escalated to HR they 100% doll would have fired him and walked him out. We shake hands and go our separate ways. I have my Yeti back.

It’s been 4 hours. And now I’m fucking mad. Like… if it was a random floor worker I don’t know, okay. Whatever. But this dude is a direct coworker. I work with him on the daily and fix HIS machines. He knew it was mine. He lied to my face for days. And he lied to my face when confronted. It’s the doubling and quadrupling down during the week that is now eating away at me.

I’m actually considering saying “u know what. Fuck your apology. That was bull shit. I’m going to HR. I can’t trust u as a coworker now.”

AITAH for thinking this even after “accepting,” more so acknowledging, his forced apology?

MOH = maid of honor.

I (25F) have three little “half” sisters. I consider them my full sisters, but “half” is relevant to the story.

For a lot of you, this may seem silly or unimportant, and in the grand scheme of things, it’s not. If you are the oldest sister of 8+ years, you will probably get this more. I’m using this as a way to brainstorm down the road.

I grew up in the same household as my middle sister (16F). I spent every other weekend at my dad’s house with my other sisters (16.5F) and (14F). I’m using 16.5 to differentiate between the sisters who are the same age, lol.

I am closest with the oldest 2, but over the last year have grown closer with my littlest sister.

I got engaged this year, though plans for the wedding isn’t for another 1.5-2 years. I want to have my 3 sisters and 3 best friends as bridesmaids, but I want my sisters to be a bit more special.

As a PSA, I am not going to be a traditional bride, I care more about what these titles mean to my sisters rather than the traditional tasks (planning bach party for example). Everything will be a team effort regarding planning (and it’ll be cheap lol). Additionally, I love my sisters very much. I want them to feel special on my special day because they are special to me!

My current idea is the have the sister I grew up wth most closely (16F) as the MOH. My oldest sister (16.5F) I thought maybe to have her as a bridesmaid and my “something blue”, she’d wear a blue dress. Now for my third sister (14F), I am still trying to think of another special title for her, but something along these lines.

I could have all 3 be MOHs but that feels less special. I could have my 2 sisters whom I didn’t live with both be my something blue, but that feels excessive.

I don’t want a friend to be a MOH because if I were my sister, I’d be upset (plus i’m equally as close w my friends and wouldn’t be able to choose, lol).

I could also say screw titles and no MOH, and maybe have the 3 of them be my something blue.

I am fearful that no decision is a good decision. I fear this will cause hurt feelings or a sense of lesser-importance or love between my sisters and me. I don’t want anyone to feel left out.

So, WIBTAH if I chose my middle sister as my MOH, and try to create equally as special titles for the other 2 sisters?

I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and considering this will be a surprise to the three of them, I don’t want to talk to them about the situation just yet!

Thank you :)