Posted the situation a few days ago. Here's the link to the other post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/YYD4hjgEoO

I had forgotten a big piece of information here so I edited it to include it

We broke up. I tried cooling off and going back to talk it all through. During our chat she showed me the message thread from him and that she rarely ever replied. One thing I noticed was that one weekend he messaged asking what she was doing and she replied "nothing just sitting at home watching series, no plans this weekend" but we were actually hosting my friend from out of town.

I understand that it wasn't any of his business to know she and I were hosting my friend - I don't know this guy. But she went out of her way to forget that her boyfriend existed and come up with a completely different story that would leave the door open to the other guy. I got really angry and disturbed by this and walked away.

Because I went silent after that and needed space away from her, she actually texted me after that she "didn't see a future with me" and I accepted that, but then she came back to talk it out and was angry that I accepted it. She said "you know when I get upset I pull back...if you'd just waited a day I would have come around and we could work it out like we are now". I just couldn't handle that level of what-the-fuckery. She asked to come over, asked to take a holiday to work things out privately and forget about everything, even started saying "I get it now, from your point of view I should have taken proactive steps to secure the relationship but I didn't and I'm sorry." But with everything that came out and then the "I'm breaking up with you!" And then "wait no I'm just kidding, let's work it out" when I agreed, I have to walk away. I blocked her after that conversation, and now I get to move on.

There were comments on that other post saying I didn't already dump her fast enough. To those people I have this to say: I'm sorry that I didn't pull the plug on the year of a relationship with a person I thought I was building a life with fast enough for you anonymous strangers on the Internet. Next time I'll do better /s.

Thanks for the overwhelming encouragement from everyone else. I felt like I was taking crazy pills. The outside observation and overwhelming consensus helped bring me back to earth. Thanks for that, folks.

So my daughter had her birthday party last year, and something happened and I've not heard the end of it. My daughter's birthday is on December 20, which sucks for her as where we live, its always snowing, so she's stuck with either Chuck E Cheese or a sleepover. She turned ten last year and wanted a pool party. So I came up with staying at a hotel with four of her girlfriends where they can swim in the indoor, h at d pool, have pizza and soda and all I need to bring is the cake, leave a nice tip for housekeeping, and not have to deal with the cleanup! So I made it happen.
Three of the girls invited had a wonderful time they were all nine, and the fourth wqs already ten. The nine year olds could swim, dive, and be trusted in the pool. The ten year old showed up with floater wings and said I had to put them on her. Then she tried to go in the deep end, which was against the rules for children wearing wings, and I got an earful from the lifeguard. Then she tried to dive, head first, in the shallow end. Because she wouldn't listen to directions, I cut the swimming part short by almost an hour because I was afraid my daughter’s fri nd was gonna drown.
Then we went upstairs to watch Moana and the ten year old girl just kept saying what was gonna happen in the next five minutes of the show, continuously through the movie. I'm sure all the girls had seen Moana by that point, but why was she spoiling the entire movie? Who taught her to do that? I then put my daughters other favorite film, The Sound of Music on, and I asked her if she had ever seen it before, and she hadn't, so all the girls got to enjoy the movie.
Later that night, all the girls were asleep, but the ten years old came to the room I was sleeping in (we got a suite, one room for the party and food, one for kids to sleep in, and a third room for me to sleep in so I actually got sleep was the plan). She asked me why hadn't I read to her? Why hadn't we called her mom for a goodnight? I just looked at her. I had received nothing but her sleeping bag and backpack from her mom earlier that afternoon. It was almost 11 when she came to me. So we tried calling her moms number that I had in my phone from the contact sheet given to us by the school, otherwise I wouldn't have had it, and this ten-year-old didn't know her phone number. It rang and rang. I texted her. I called. Texted and called. Finally, the ten year old remembered her house phone number. I called that and finally, she picked up.
She chewed me out. Said it was her holiday treat for herself to have a day child-free, couldn't I read to her ANYTHING that was available? I pointed out she was ten - I stopped reading to my girl at six and she began to read to herself. The only problem we had with that is she sometimes stayed up late reading. And I pointed out she was ten, and she thought I was supposed to call her, but you didn't check she knew the number? ‘I was ignoring it’ she replied. ‘I needed a day off.’ I'm sorry, but your child is away, at a hotel, at a sleepover, and you are ignoring multiple calls to your phone from the only parent at said sleepover? Where did your brain go?
So I had the girl say goodnight to her mom, went her to bed, and texted the mother my thoughts, and that her daughter would never be invited to my daughters parties again. Her daughter wasn't the problem - although her actions seemed to lack brain cells, the problem I had was with her mother and if there was an emergency.
So, AITAH because my daughter knows why she can't invite this friend to another party for her Halloween (they aren't close friends, but my daughter isn’t a gossip, she is very quiet, actually, and when she asked who she could invite, I said anyone but this friend, and when she asked why, I told her the truth. ) now the mother is saying im ‘discriminating ‘ against her, but both our families have the same skin color, in fact, our girls look very similar. I don't understand, so I told my daughter that if someone asks, change the subject, or walk away. That you don't have to answer every question.
Now the mom wants to bring me in front of the principal for ‘excluding her daughter’ when it was 100% the mom’s fault. AITAH here? It I can't contact you the only night of the year I have your kid, that's a pretty big problem, in my book.

ETA: I have spoken on the phone to the principal, and I have an appointment with him at 1pm today. I will go, see what is said in meeting with him and Other Mom, and report what is said and will be done. Since many of you guys want to know what she will go on about. I'll admit, I am interested, too.

Edit2: After the Principal: Wow. Just, wow. That was both wow and do you really believe that? Type of thing. I won't type everything that was said, just main points.
Okay, so I met with the principal and Other Mom. She brought up that it was discrimination of her child, yada yada. Not only did I not invite her to the party, she wasn't invited to the sleepover afterwards - there wasn't a sleepover afterwards. I sat there, holding back, and let the principal ask my question - how was I being discriminatory towards her daughter? Was she in a protected class the school was unaware of? Other mom said yes, as atheists, she and her family are a protected class and are tired of hearing from ‘us Christians’ that they are going to hell and Jesus doesn't love them. I sat there, flabbergasted. Yes, my family is Christian. But we don't rub it in anyone’s faces beyond wearing a cross necklace for my girls and sometimes a WWJD bracelet. My girls are proud they were baptized in our church last year, but I have taught them they are no better than anyone else, we are all sinners, and Jesus and Our Father love us all, we are all His children, no one is better than anyone else, and we all have things we wrestle with. I don't care that the little girl is atheist. I don't care the mom is. I care that she doesn't care about her daughter’s safety and was unreachable. So, with some help from ChatGPT and the texts that I never delete for this very reason, I presented the text to the teacher, showing I tried to contact her several times just through texts, not including phone calls, over that hour. I explained how she was unavailable the night I had her daughter, and this was unacceptable to me, and I went on further to explain the majority of the girls making up the party came from her soccer team and her Girl Scout Troop, with only one girl from her class, from the entire school, being invited to the party, and that I am not her free babysitter so she can take the night ‘off’, as she put it. I pointed to my long text and said the decision was made ten months ago to never be responsible for her little girl, not something I came up with in my mind spur of the moment to be cruel to a ten year old, regardless of her religion, or lack thereof. I then further argued what was happening was the mother wanted free babysitting, saw an opportunity, and came up with a way to bully ME into taking care of her daughter so she could have the night to herself.
Then I took a swing.
I said if the mother was willing to accompany her daughter to the party, she was welcome, but there was indeed no sleepover afterwards, I was sorry to say, and everyone not permanently residing in our home would go home at the end of the night with a goodey bag. I said I did not trust the mom to be available if I took the daughter, so at my private, non-school party at my personal residence, this was my condition to her daughter coming to my party. She looked like I popped her balloon. She started to hem and Haw and tried to say she had a work thing she had to do, and I asked her, on Saturday night?
The principal then said, that sounds like an excellent compromise, and thanked us both for coming in, and excused himself as he had a meeting he was going to be late for. He shook both our hands, and that was it.
I think I will prepare one extra of all the kid things just in case she shows up, because her kid shouldn't be punished because her mom is a bitch, but I won't prepare extra adult things, mostly because she made it seem like she wasn't going to come. But I'll make stuff in case she does for her daughters sake.
That's all for now. I will update if it goes further.

Edit3: I can't believe I forgot this, but I have had her daughter to my house since the birthday lst year, and in June I will have her again. Every year, when my girls are in elementary school, I invite that grade they are in to come and have a end-of- year swim party at my house. (yes, we personally have a pool, but it is outside and my daughters birthday is five days before Christmas and it is WAAAAY too cold to have an outdoor pool party where we live. It's not like we live in LA or whatever. So that's why her birthday pool party was at a hotel, even though we have a pool of our own. Now, on with the story). We ask and receive permission from the next door neighbor to take her twin boys, on the local swim clubs swim team, as life guards and set up a slippy slide, what must be thousands of water balloons, pizza, hot dogs, burgers, juice and soda and fruit salad, our jungle gym, everything we have in our 3/4 of an acre backyard. I ask for ten room parents to help me out that day, as I invite all three classes of the grade, about 75-80 kids, and the three teachers and Tas help too. It's just to reward the kids for working hard all year. The permission slip specifies how good they are supposed to be at swimming, do their parents want them to stay in the shallow end only, we rent enough life jackets for every parent that asks for one, plus about fifteen extra, through the local swim club we rent wings and paddle boards and pool toys like masks and snorkels and fun noodles and rafts, enough so every kid that wants one can use one.
Her daughter had been to my swim party before the birthday, and since the birthday, and would be invited back at the end of this academic year to the end of year swim party for my girl’s grade (she is fifth this year, so it's the last swim party where im inviting the whole grade. Next year, after moving to middle school/junior high, there is simply no way to do it fair and safely, so we won't do it at all.) I did not exclude her daughter from those parties, and I will not. I'm trying to remember if the little girl wore wings at the parties. I know her mom never volunteered to help. It wasn't even a transportation issue - we live two blocks away from the school. We got our land because a looooooong time ago, before even my mother was born, a railroad ran behind our house, and so the land they sold to those owners was grandfathered down to us. Why we liver on almost an acre in a busy city.
Furthermore, these parties are proof I do not discriminate, even when I should. When my daughter was in third grade, we held the end of year swim party, and little girl 2 stole her iPod. We found where it had gone and who had taken it by the next morning, but we did not stop little girl 2 from coming to the swim party last year. I just had a mom assigned to her every time shee went into my house. To protect myself. She was eight, and made a dumb decision. I wasn't going to holds it against her, but neither was I going to fully trust her with things that are exp nsive in my house. And we didn't tell anybody excerpt third grade teacher and fourth grade teacher right before the party, so she didn't think we were singling her out. That's all. I can't believe I forgot this. But at least I have it if she brings this up again to the principal, or even, god forbid, someone higher up.

I had a call with my therapist today and decided to park in a mostly empty parking lot that belongs to a local church. The call takes place on my phone through video chat and I couldn’t take it at home since I live with my partner. I’m working through some personal family stuff and prefer my privacy. During that time he has to join a work meeting so I also do not want his team overhearing my conversation with my therapist.

I decided to pull into the lot closest to my home which belongs to a local church. The lot is mid size and had about 10 cars in it. I’d say 80% of the lot was empty. I parked a few rows away from the front to make sure I wasn’t blocking a path or specific parking spaces. 30 minutes into my call, a lady approached the car. I rolled down my window and said I was talking a call. She said it was private property and could not park there. I wasn’t sure what she asked if anything before I spoke but I was a little embarrassed. She may have said something like can I help you? I was in the middle of something emotional and didn’t think I was bothering anyone. I also thought churches were public spaces.

I’ve driven past this lot hundreds of time and it’s never busy or full during the morning hours on a weekday so didn’t think I was taking away a space from someone that may need it.

I immediately moved my car to a different place but later felt a bit confused about the interaction.

Am I a jerk for parking my car for 30 minutes to take my call? Should I have pushed back? Is there an unspoken rule to never park in a parking lot where you end up not going inside the building?

I have another session next week and this has made me rethink where I’m allowed to park.

So, I handled a situation yesterday that has my momma bear side of me cheering while my people pleasing side is writhing in agony. I’m curious to see AITAH or maybe just needed to handle it better.

My husband and I took our two kids to a pumpkin patch. We were having a great time and Hubby and I each took responsibility of one of the kids; Hubby did all the things with the oldest and I cared for and pushed the youngest in the stroller.

It was close to lunch time, so I decided to take youngest with me to look at the different vendors and find something to eat while Hubby kept the oldest happy. I went over to the vendors which were pretty far away from where my husband and oldest were. I was surprised to find that there were not many people getting food but relieved that I wouldn’t have to wait long for food. There was only one other woman waiting for her order. As I was reading one of the menus, the woman approached me and began talking to my kid. She then asked me what his name was. I told her. She talked to him again and then began to touch his foot.

This bothered me. I don’t like people I don’t know touching my kids. Most of the time I let it go and just watch closely as it is usually an older woman (possibly a grandmother) who tends to do this. I wanted to tell her not to touch him, but I wanted to be nice and not cause a scene, so instead I stepped from behind the stroller and stood next to it. The lady asked me then how old he was as she was inspecting his shoes and then touched his cheek and shoulder. By this time, I was reeeeeaaaaally uncomfortable and was trying to think of how I could get out of this conversation without being rude or overreacting. I told her how old he was and got the usual “He looks big for his age.” And so on. Then she stood up and asked me where I was from.

My brain broke. I just stood there and stared at her with a polite smile but eyes that said “Please leave me alone.” I did not want to answer her. I felt so uncomfortable and tried to think of a way out. Should I just walk away? Should I tell her how she is making me feel and ask her to stop? Before I could respond, she said, “Hey, I’m talking to you. I asked you where are you from.”

I was shocked and officially done. I replied, “I know.” She said, “So where are you from?” I then said flatly and still with a polite smile, “You are asking me a lot of questions. I don’t know you.” The woman was taken aback and went on to say that she had been a vendor there for years and that she knows people here and so on. I just replied with “Okay” and stood there staring at her. She now was visibly uncomfortable and awkward. She interacted with my son again, looked at me like she wanted to say something else, and then eventually turned away. Once she turned away, I stopped staring and went back to reading the menu while still keeping an eye on her. Then I walked away.

Part of me feels like I should have done something else but can’t figure out what. The other part of me just feels like it’s the people pleasing part trying to guilt trip me. I think the fact that she was touching my kid and then was really pushy about getting me to answer her question really set me off.

So, am I the a hole for standing my ground and not putting up with her questions that made me uncomfortable? And was there a way I could have done this better?

hi everyone,

I’m writing right now because even though the situation is over, I’m still a little flabbergasted about it all and really want to hear opinions that are out of the situation, so here it goes.

i (F, 31 and lesbian) have been friends with H (M, 29 and gay) for more than 15 years and he was always that difficult kind of friend, who is frequently searching for conflict, throwing shade at any and everyone who does things he doesn’t approve and that needs constant validation. despite all that, he also had his qualities that until recently I thought were redeeming.

he introduced me to my first (and now ex) girlfriend about 4 years ago and we were a tight group of friends until I broke things off with her in june 2025.

the relationship was emotionally abusive, to say the least. I vented about it last year in another subreddit, you can check the post if you want: https://www.reddit.com/r/lesbiangang/s/yfdt5ruhd7

to sum it up, she treated me like trash most of the time, for her i was the maid that cooked and cleaned, to whom she did not had any emotional responsibilities, care or love at all.

just now, after a year and a half has passed, i started to untangle the depths of the emotional abuse and neglect i suffered, after many therapy sessions and being in a loving and healthy relationship that made me see just how terrible the previous one was.

after the breakup last year, we “divorced“, handed the apartment we shared and she went back to her town, in another state at the northeast Brasil. i’ve always prioritized other people’s well being over mine, so at first I thought i was ok to stay at the same WhatsApp chat we once shared with the H friend group.

but I told them everything that i could back then about all I suffered and couldn’t ask of them to make a choice and cut her or me off (it seemed a little drastic back then, now I see it wasn’t to much to ask from your friends to go no contact with your abuser, but anyways, I didn’t have that notion a year and a half ago).

earlier this year, i exited the friend group that she was still in, blocked her in every social media and asked H to create another chat without her.

but the thing is: after therapy and untangling my trauma talking to and living better things with my now girlfriend, I started to realize that the kind of friendship and support they offered was not what I needed right now. All they do is meet to get drunk, listen to loud music and throw shade at each other.

i have been dealing with a lot of grief these past few months (i was fired last November, lost two of my pets and my girlfriend’s father died due to pancreatic cancer) so that was not what I really needed from friends. I admit I failed to communicate that better, but the estrangement was quite inevitable by then. Nobody sent anything in the new group chat and I just assumed they preferred the one I exited (with my ex in it) better.

they just asked me to that kind of party from time to time, never asking how I really was doing.

H never really liked my new girlfriend and was always searching for conflict and making acid and unnecessary remarks to and about her.

Back in march he even had the guts to tell me to my face he missed my ex because we were leaving the bar early after he treated me and my girlfriend poorly the whole night. He said that knowing all I suffered at my ex’s hands.

now getting to the situation that happened last Saturday: it was his birthday party and he invited me and my girl. When we arrived there, I saw my ex’s name checked on the list and started having a full blown panic attack.

he invited her and didn’t tell me.

I didn’t have the strength to enter the bar and when I asked him to step out to talk, he just started saying I had to ”grow up” and stop being childish and that if I entered, drank a beer and rubbed my new girl in my ex’s face I would feel better. That I was barely talking to him the whole year and that he had bigger problems to worry to remember giving me the heads up about her attendance.

by then I was crying and shaking and feeling nauseous and he and other friend just continued to throw on my face how absent I’ve been this year and how her being there was last minute and etc..

by now I really think he did all that to punish and test me.

it crossed a line and it was the last nail on this friendship’s coffin to be honest.

AITAH for ending the friendship over that? I really think that after I stopped doing things the way he wanted, I just lost all value to him.

thank you for reading this BIBLE EXCERPT of a problem and I appreciate all comments ❤️

I (25F) and my husband (27M) have taken a step back from his parents, and I’m trying to figure out if we’re justified in doing so.

About a year ago, I quit babysitting my in-laws’ youngest daughter. I had been watching her 3–5 days a week for $100/day while also raising my own son. As the kids got older and their schedules changed, I became extremely burnt out. Their daughter also frequently struggled with naps, often kicking, punching, and screaming at me, and was often unkind to my son.

I realized early into the school year last year that this was no longer working for my family, so I told them I needed to quit but offered to stay until they found someone else. My stepmother-in-law initially seemed understanding, saying I needed to do what was best for my family. However, when my husband and I met with both of them a couple of days later, their attitude completely changed. They accused us of putting their daughter on the back burner and said it was bold of me to quit without trying to compromise. I ended up spending most of the conversation apologizing and explaining that I still loved their daughter but needed to prioritize my own son, marriage, and well-being.

Since then, there have been multiple incidents that have damaged our relationship. They’ve criticized my parenting, said they don’t trust me, and spoken poorly about me to other family members. They’ve also told people I abandoned them by quitting, which isn’t true. At Christmas, they noticeably gave us fewer gifts than everyone else (something that matters to them, even though we don’t care about the gifts themselves). There have also been smaller, hurtful comments and double standards. For example, before I quit, my stepmother-in-law told me I should stop watching my sister’s kids for free because it wasn’t mutually beneficial to me. Yet when I applied that same reasoning to watching their daughter, I became the problem.

Recently, my husband and I took our son out of state to meet some of his extended family. We didn’t tell his parents because they hadn’t asked, and we didn’t want his dad potentially showing up. They were upset that we hadn’t told them, even though the dates they had previously shared for their own visit didn’t work with our finances or my husband’s work schedule.

My husband recently sat down with his dad and explained that we’re still hurt by the original conversation and everything that has happened since. He also addressed his dad’s history of affairs and how it has affected the family, acknowledged that we knew they’d been speaking poorly about me, and admitted that we don’t trust him. He apologized for not communicating our feelings sooner and suggested his dad find a mentor who could hold him accountable.

None of this went well. Instead of addressing the concerns my husband raised, his parents are now interrogating family members to figure out who told us they’d been talking about me.

At this point, our concerns go beyond how they treat us. We’ve heard them speak cruelly about poor and homeless people and people of other races, even their own family members and we don’t want our son growing up around those attitudes.

We’re not trying to punish them or start drama. We just don’t feel comfortable around them anymore, and we’re questioning what kind of relationship we should have with them going forward.

Are we justified in taking a step back, or are we holding on to resentment and making this situation worse by keeping our distance?

UPDATE
My SMIL called me today. The conversation was only 15 minutes long. She said she wanted to talk about the conversation that my FIL and my husband had the other day. She said I heard there’s some hurt feelings about something you heard I might’ve said. Could you tell me what was said and where it came from because I honestly don’t know what I could’ve said. I told her what I had heard. I would like to clarify that she never said the exact words I’m a bad mom but the way she spoke about my parenting and how my son is implied she felt that way. She asked me to tell her where I got that information and I told her I wouldn’t say, but that I trusted the person who I got the information from. We talked a little bit about the babysitting thing and I told her I was hurt because the initial conversation I had with her felt very supportive and while she said she wasn’t sure what we were gonna do that we would still figure it out, but then that changed two days later when we all spoke together. She said she never meant to make me feel like quitting was a good idea and that she still feels like Me quitting was not a good idea and that’s something that we will just disagree on. I told her that it felt like that whole conversation was just supposed to be swept under the rug because they tried to resume regular family activities a few days later. We didn’t agree on pretty much anything we spoke about. It was still a civil conversation, no screaming or accusing. I just don’t know where to go from here. Do I take this as an Olive branch? She said she hoped that moving forward we can have a better relationship and that we can all still be together.

My son (less than a week from being 14) has been going through a phase over the past few years, and that phase is that everything I say and do is wrong, stupid, and/or immoral. I know this isn't exactly unheard of in teenagers, but it's been going on since he was 9, and it's gotten particularly bad over the past year. I want to sing along to the songs in the car ride and encourage him to sing with me? Human rights violation. My video games? They have anime women, so it must be porn. Vtubers? Well, it's anime women online so they must be doing porn. Making crass jokes with my friends online in the privacy of my own room? We're all brain-rotted gooners. He's constantly accusing me of "only looking at porn all day." He seems to ignore the fact that I work 12-hour shifts all week and am on my best behavior because I work with seniors, and that I've never objectified a woman, but I must only have porn and nudity on my brain all day. But it's gotten to the point where he'll even say stuff to insult me to his friends while on a Discord call with them. When he does that, I'll say something light-hearted to embarrass him. It's nothing like insults towards him, it's purposely awkward jokes or one-liners that would make anyone cringe.

But onto today's incident. We had just picked up McDonald's and we were driving home. I haven't had a night off in a while, so I really wanted to spend it with him, and McDonalds was the start of that. While we were driving home, he asked me a question. "Dad, what do you think about people who watch Hazbin Hotel?"
"I think the show is targeted towards mentally ill women."
"EXACTLY!"
"Nah, I'm kidding. It's probably a good show. Just not my cup of tea."
"Oh, I have no respect for you then."
"Excuse me?"
"Everyone who watches that show is evil."
"Hold on a minute. I know plenty of people who enjoy that show that are wonderful people. [Lists examples]"
"Well they're all stupid. And if [person] likes it, it must be porn because they're a porn person."
"She's a Vtuber. She doesn't do porn. Just because you don't like it - and you haven't even watched it, nor are you old enough to - doesn't mean they're bad people. Just because people like things that you think are inappropriate, doesn't mean you have the right to dismiss them as horrible people. Laissez-faire. Live and let live."
"I don't know what any of those mean, and I don't care."
"It means you shouldn't be a judgmental prick, [son]."
"If that's coming from you then I know it's wrong. All you do is play your porn games all day, are a gooner, and a complete idiot."

At that point, I pulled the car over.
"Get out."
"OKAY OKAY. I'm sorry! GEEZ!"
"No, I said get out. You can walk the rest of the way home."
"Can I take the McDonald's with me?"
"No, I'll see you at home. A good walk will help you clear your head. I don't tolerate hateful rhetoric and walking will help you think about how your words are harmful not just to others, but to yourself."
"I don't know the way home!"
"Yes, you do. It's a quarter mile, straight up the road and you turn right when you reach the park."
And then I left. None of what I typed was me yelling. Despite what my son tells my parents, I don't yell unless he's trying to talk over me.
I pulled into the driveway a minute later, and sat in the car. I pulled up the Life 360 app (a family tracking app for anyone who doesn't know), and just watched his location to make sure he stayed safe. We live in a very rural area. The amount of police incidents here is one domestic disturbance a year. The quarter mile was a country highway that get's virtually no traffic after 7p. The next quarter mile was in the completely lit up park that might as well be a gated community for how safe it is. But I also noticed that my mom was leaving her house and walking. She lives on the other side of the park which is further away from my house than where I dropped off my son. My son arrived 10 minutes before my mom did. When he got there, he said, "I'm taking my stuff and the McDonald's to grandma's."
"No, you're going to your room. We'll talk in a few minutes."
When my mom arrived, I greeted her and then said, "Mom I'm handling it. Would you like me to drive you home?"
"YOU JUST ABANDONED HIM ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!"
"First of all, no. He was closer to the house than your house is and he knows the way home. I also was keeping track of him. Second, did he tell you anything that he said? Did he tell you why he was kicked out of my car?"
"No, and it doesn't matter! You're either letting me take him or I'm calling the police!"
My brother (my brother lives with us rent-free) walked out of the house with his personal firearm equipped with my son and his backpacks, and then they all walked to my mom's house together.
Now, when I'm stressed and upset, I clean. So after cleaning an entire room of the house. I called my mom and asked, "Did everyone make it to the house okay?"
"Yeah, we're fine."
"Okay, tell [son] that his food will still be here tomorrow and he can come home after school and we can talk since I have tomorrow off, too. And please let him know that hateful rhetoric and stereotyping are not allowed in my house. ....And then explain to him what those things mean. Actually, let me talk to him. I want to tell him that I do love him and then I'll tell him myself."
She put me on speaker and I could hear him laughing in the background.
"Hey, I love you, [son], and that kind of hateful talk is not allowed in our family. We're going to talk about that-"
"WHAT HATEFUL LANGUAGE? I just said I didn't like the fans of that show! Earlier you were going on about [comedy song with crass jokes]!"
"First, you brought the song up because you thought it was really funny that your friend was using it as a soundboard. It wasn't a problem until I liked it too. Second, this isn't about that."
"But his soundboard wasn't the whole song! You just make it weird!"
"So it's okay to just have a little bit of-?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU'RE ALWAYS MAKING DIRTY JOKES AROUND ME!"
My brother then says in the background, "Yeah, it's your job to lead by example."
"[Brother], butt out. He's not your kid. [Side note, this seems to be something I have to address every-so-often in my family because I've constantly been undermined by them his whole life] [Son], stop deflecting. This is about-"
"AND YOU ALWAYS ACT AGAINST THE BIBLE AND-"
This was the point at which I yelled. "[SON], I AM TRYING TO SPEAK YOU ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT! DO NOT TALK OVER ME!"
And then my mom hung up the phone.

So... AITAH for kicking my son out of my car half a mile from our house and having him walk home for saying hateful things?

If I'm wrong about this, I'm ready to get absolutely bodied in the replies and admit I'm wrong.

AITA for getting upset with my husband because he went through my adults son's bedside table drawers.

My husband found out that our son aged 29 occasionally smokes cigarettes by finding an empty box in his bedside drawer. My son lives in his own cottage on my property. And even though I am not happy with the fact that he smokes. I am more upset at my husband's total lack of respect for my son's right to privacy in his own home. My husband is adamant that it is his right to do so and I mustn't preach to him. So AITA

i was at a store today with my sister and while we were paying we decided to pay with cash. the employee (she’s disabled on one arm) and i know this lady. i’ve had convos w her and even gave her a book recommendation before. anyways, she took a bit to count the money so i decided to enter my membership number onto the pad in the meantime and she immediately yelled at me and told me i interrupted her counting and now she gotta do it again . it was 17$. i was shocked and embarassed so i started doing that nervous smile for like a second then apologized and apologized but she kept on telling me to stop laughing AT her which I WOULD NEVER. i explained to her that i was not and i even apologized but she kept on insisting that i was laughing at her! she then told me to leave the store??? i legit did not know what to say or do so i just told her have a good day and walked away. i don’t know what i did wrong.

About two years ago I had a major falling out with a former close friend, “Becca,” and my cousin “Jake.”

Becca and I had been close friends for about seven years. Our friendship was already becoming strained because I felt like she regularly crossed my boundaries and expected me to show up for her in ways she didn’t reciprocate. The breaking point happened while she was away for several months.

Jake was semi house/pet sitting for her. I also had a key and occasionally went over with my dog so our dogs could play because hers was basically being left there long term. Becca knew I was doing this and had even thanked me for spending time with her dog.

For full transparency, one evening I did take a Ziploc bag of her dog’s food and a couple rawhide bones because I was low on dog food and didn’t feel like going to the store. I shouldn’t have done that without asking.

However, I never took any of her personal belongings.

Apparently Jake had started “counting” Becca’s belongings and decided I was stealing things that went missing.

At one point I left Becca’s house and went to my cousin “Lauren’s” house. Jake apparently asked Lauren whether I was wearing a green jacket. I regularly wore an army green jean jacket at the time. Apparently a green North Face jacket was missing from Becca’s house, and Jake concluded that the jacket I had been wearing must have been hers.

Another time, some boots were supposedly missing and Jake saw a woman who looked like me walking around Becca’s neighborhood. I have never randomly walked around her neighborhood, but he apparently decided that woman was me and used that as further evidence that I had taken the boots.

For additional context, Becca and I had the kind of friendship where we regularly gave each other clothes. I had actually dropped off clothes for her that I thought she might like. I once asked to borrow a pair of her boots and returned them.

While Becca was gone, I noticed her becoming increasingly distant. I specifically asked Jake and Lauren about it, and neither told me what was happening. I later realized they both knew she believed I was stealing from her.

At the time, I was renting a condo from Becca’s mother and was preparing to close on my own house. When I told her mom I was moving, she started acting strangely. I finally called her and she told me I had been stealing from Becca’s house and instructed me to leave both keys on the counter when I moved out.

I was completely blindsided.

I called Becca, but she didn’t answer. I then called Jake. He basically admitted that he had been telling her these things. When I asked why he would accuse me of stealing without ever asking me about it, his response was essentially, “Everyone talks shit.”

I hung up and stopped speaking to him.

That was roughly two years ago.

More recently, my sister moved to my town. Jake was helping her move. She had originally planned to live with me, but I told her Jake was not allowed inside my house because we still had not resolved anything. She ultimately moved in with my uncle, where Jake also lives.

I later found out that Jake told Becca about this. According to my sister, Becca responded with something along the lines of, “Even though she was trespassing on my property, I hope she dies.”

So I continued keeping my distance.

Then I got married this summer.

It was an extremely small, intimate wedding with mostly immediate family. Several relatives encouraged me to invite my cousins, but I chose not to.

The morning before my wedding, Jake unexpectedly texted me saying Lauren wanted to attend and that I should contact her. I did. Lauren apologized for her part in what happened two years earlier, which I genuinely appreciated. She came to my rehearsal dinner, helped me on my wedding day, and I thought maybe we were beginning to repair our relationship.

Jake still never apologized.

Then, on my actual wedding day, Jake unexpectedly showed up at my hotel while I was getting ready.

I was literally running late to the church when I saw him. I remember saying, “Jake, you’re here?” and he just responded, “I am.”

I didn’t have time to process the fact that someone I had been no contact with for two years and had specifically not invited was suddenly at my wedding. I just said I was glad he was there, hugged him, and continued getting ready.

During the sign of peace at church, I attempted to exchange peace with him and he initially turned away from me. He later did exchange peace with me and even helped take some photos afterward.

At the time, I thought maybe showing up was his awkward way of extending an olive branch and that we would eventually talk about everything.

That conversation has never happened.

He has made zero attempt to apologize, explain himself, or even acknowledge what happened.

And despite Lauren apologizing before my wedding, she has made essentially no effort since then to actually have a relationship with me. She hasn’t asked to hang out, really talked to me, or tried to continue rebuilding things. I appreciate her apology, but months later it feels like that was basically the end of it.

Now the holidays are coming up.

Family holidays are usually held at my uncle’s house, where Jake lives. My sister currently lives there too, and my parents may come up and stay there for the holidays.

I want to see my sister and my parents. What I don’t want is to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving sitting around pretending everything is normal with people I essentially don’t have relationships with anymore.

I’m not asking my parents or sister to choose between us. I’m not asking anyone to exclude Jake or Lauren. I’m not trying to punish anybody.

I would rather see my parents and sister separately and spend the actual holiday somewhere I feel comfortable.

At the same time, part of me wonders whether I should just suck it up for a few hours because my parents may be there and because, realistically, it has already been two years.

But another part of me feels like two years actually makes it worse. Jake has had two years to say, “I was wrong to accuse you of stealing without talking to you first,” and hasn’t. Showing up uninvited to my wedding didn’t resolve that. And while Lauren apologized, there hasn’t been much of a relationship afterward.

AITAH if I skip the family holiday at my uncle’s house and arrange to see my parents and sister separately instead?

TL;DR: Two years ago my cousin accused me of stealing from my best friend based on assumptions without confronting me. When I confronted him, his response was basically “everyone talks shit,” and we went no contact. He unexpectedly showed up at my wedding this summer, but still hasn’t apologized or addressed anything. My other cousin apologized but hasn’t made an effort to rebuild our relationship since. Holidays are at the house where my cousin and sister live, and my parents may stay there. I’d rather see my immediate family separately than pretend everything is fine. AITA?

Hi! I posted a while back about my roommate, Wendy, and boss, Tom. I just wanted to put an update out as it seems the situation has resolved. Resolved well, but also there was a lot more under the surface.

Most importantly, Wendy has been officially banned from reusing containers. She knows this now, as do all other cashiers, as it violates food safety and ServSafe standards. Apparently she kept doing it behind my back, and my roommates (Taylor and Joey) set up a meeting with Tom to try and stop her from doing it.

On the less pleasant side, it turns out that what Wendy was doing was worse than just the containers. I mentioned that I'm FTM trans and autistic in my original post, and someone questioned what that had to do with the situation (which, at the time, was nothing). Well, it has something to do with it now, so I guess that's a monkey's paw moment.

Taylor, Joey and I are all autistic and transmasc. That's important, because a coworker came to check in about Wendy. This coworker is a sweetheart, and she told me that Wendy had been saying some nasty stuff behind our backs, in public, to anyone who would listen.
She'd mostly been mocking us for being trans, calling us "snowflakes" and "soft" and insinuating she, a cis lesbian, was more "man" than us because she grew up with three brothers. In private, she constantly compared us to them and got mad when we asked her not to. She also insinuated I should detransition as a 'joke', deadnamed Joey, and was generally rude to us and made fun of us being trans.

Also, she would say things like "my roommates are so messy but won't let me do their dishes because they're autistic". Followed by a flimsy excuse of "nothing wrong with being autistic". (Which... I'm the only one who didn't want her doing my dishes. Because I have OCD. I have my own set of dishes. Which I keep clean constantly.) She also mocked us being unable to understand tone and implied we just weren't trying, which was very frustrating. She made zero effort to point out she was being sarcastic or 'silly' over text, and her style of humor was "say something rude and then laugh when your feelings are hurt".

And the mess thing was mostly that she didn't want us to have things like our backpacks in the common area, some medicine from when we all got sick on the table which we mostly use for studying, projects out (we are in art school), or any evidence that Taylor's cat existed. She got mad that the cat's toys were out. Yeah, the common area was a little messy, but it was lived in mess, and we were in the middle of midterms.

We made a lot of attempts to work with her, even set up a chore chart (she then immediately disregarded the request not to touch my dishes, which are visually different from everyone else's, and cleaned them and put them with everyone else's instead of leaving them in their set spot... to dry... because I had already washed them. Arrgh), but she kept complaining and being rude to us every time we saw her.

Because we live in college housing, we set up a meeting with our RA to try and hold an intervention, who apparently saw Wendy's actions as so bad that she contacted the head of housing directly.

The head of housing removed Wendy from our dorm and met with the people who are in charge at my job. She got official documentation that what Wendy did was against ServSafe and food safety guidelines, and banning her from doing that. Apparently it is a MAJOR issue. It's almost funny to me that she was so obsessed with our "lack of cleanliness" but then broke a huge food safety rule. She also met with Wendy and let her know what she was doing wasn't allowed, and that she was officially banned from bringing in containers.

I just felt like I needed to write this down for finality's sake! Sad it turned out like this but I hope she continues on well and has a good future time. Thanks for reading if you did. It's out of my hands now, but at least she's had a talk with the people in charge and won't be doing that again (I hope).

My ex and I have a very firm no-contact boundary. We don’t speak, and that’s how things have been ever since we ended.

Recently, a few of my friends brought it to my attention that he had been DMing them as soon as we broke up and up to date. In the screenshots they sent me, I found out that some of these messages actually dated back to when my ex and I were still together, but I didn’t bring that up or mention anything about the timing.

I messaged him once, saying:

“Next time you want to DM my friends just to get aired, please save yourself the embarrassment and don’t. Occupy yourself with something more worthwhile and focus on building something positive for yourself. Goodbye.”

Then I blocked him immediately. I wasn’t looking to interact or engage with him whatsoever weather it be starting any type of a conversation or getting into an argument with him.

However, he saw the message and went out of his way to contact me on a different platform , responding with:

“are you good in the head? where do you get the audacity to say something like that to me after all this? i’m gonna make something clear,
i’ll dm whoever whenever i want because it’s my life n since when has shooting your shot been something to be embarrassed of? and then what makes you think i’m not doing anything positive for myself when you aren’t involved in anything about my life currently? please keep your words to yourself n actually respect me when i tell you to never contact me again.
i’m js gonna block you icl, what a mistake to not have apparently
actually i’ll unblock because i wanna say something, this is actually the funniest shit ever
for you to go out of your way to do allat, rlly is funny
goodbye now”

For context, I wasn’t upset or literally anything of that sort that he was trying to shoot his shot with someone. He’s free to pursue whoever he wants, and I’m not claiming otherwise nor do I care abt what he does when he does it or who he does it with. What bothered me was that he was contacting my friends, and they were the ones bringing it to my attention.

I also recognise the irony of messaging someone with whom I’ve mutually established a strict no-contact boundary, especially when I could have simply ignored the situation. I broke that boundary to make an unnecessary comment, and I can fully acknowledge that.

But I genuinely wasn’t expecting or wanted a conversation, nor did I continue engaging after sending the message. He was the one who chose to take it to another platform to respond, despite the fact that I’d already blocked him.

So, AITA for breaking no contact to say that, or was my message unnecessarily petty and hypocritical given that we had both agreed not to contact each other?

EDIT: Okay, I fully agree and aknowledge that I’m the asshole here. Normally, I’d have ignored the situation and let my friends handle it themselves. However, I think my reaction was rooted in the fact that I found out he’d been cheating on me and sexting other people. I was already carrying a lot of resentment, and I think that influenced my decision to break no contact just to get a dig in.

For additional context, he’s also broken no contact multiple times himself, whether by sending me pictures of his pets, sharing songs, asking if I’d blocked him because I’d deactivated an account, or reaching out about aspects of our relationship he wanted clarity or closure on. I’m not saying that justifies my actions in the slightest or that I embody any tit for tat tendencies, but I just think it’s relevant context.

Also, my friends didn’t know he was my boyfriend when he initially messaged them. Once they found out, they brought it to my attention. I’m not blaming them or suggesting he can’t pursue whoever he wants. I just wanted to clarify that my reaction wasn’t really about him shooting his shot weather it be with my friends or not; it was about the anger and hurt I was already carrying from the infidelity. That’s an explanation, not an excuse.

I work outdoors. We have insect borne diseases in our area that our work is supposed to pay for the testing and treatment of if we get sick.

I have been feeling sick for two months. At first I thought I was just repeatedly catching the flu that was going around my workplace. I also have pollen allergies that I have been tested for by an allergist.

When asked why I did not report my illness sooner, I explained that I thought I was just catching the flu repeatedly. My manager smugly said “first you said they were allergies, then the flu, now this.” I responded that I do have pollen allergies and documented allergy tests. My manager said in a nasty tone “you always have a story for everything” I responded curtly “you don’t need to be passive aggressive. Let’s keep things professional.” She left the room after that comment and passed me along to someone higher up the ladder, who took me more seriously and said I can get testing covered.

For the past half a year I’ve been meeting so many people, going partying, forming a group of party buddies and discovering new places. At the beginning was fun, meeting this person and that person, doing this and that, going here and there, it felt good and new but as time went on I started feeling these people and I only had one thing in common; partying, getting shitfaced, doing drugs and going on benders. Even if at the moment feels like we all love each other and care I’ve always known this is just shallow and dysfunctional since I’ve barely had moments with them sober and we only connect in dysfunctional and toxic environments.

I feel that somehow this is going to catch up to me if I don’t stop partying, oversharing with essentially just strangers, and on top of it getting sidetracked by all of this nonsense from what it’s important to me which is being an artist and being creative, which I haven’t been for months since my mind and my soul feels they’re in another place, worn down by a lifestyle of purely hollow pleasure and bullshit. Drugs and alcohol have fried my dopamine to the point creating art doesn’t feel joyful and I’m always foggy and clouded.

I’ve deleted and blocked all the people I’ve met for these past few months and wanna just turn over a new leaf and forget about the party life for a good, GOOD while. Wipe the slate clean, get back on the groove and stick with my lifelong friends who truly care about me and viceversa. Is this too radical and sudden? I’d like to skip any unnecessary explanations to people I don’t really care for quite frankly.

Context:
I’m a white man mid 20s my girlfriend is black but not African. We live in the Bay Area.

So a few weeks back we went to this event in our town where they have food trucks, vendors all sorts of stuff. We found this lady who makes mudcloth shirts that fit like a poncho. To be honest I didn’t know what a mudcloth was at first but I knew I liked how it looked so I tried one on and absolutely loved it! It’s so comfortable and loose fitting. The lady who makes them was black if it makes a difference, and she agreed that it looked good on me (I get it, probably just trying to make a sale) but I got it.

Then walking around this event that’s predominantly black I wore it because I loved it so much. I honestly didn’t think anything of it. This other vendor who was also a black lady complimented me on it! Said she loved how it looked. I also did get an odd look from a random person walking by but didn’t really think much about it until later.

Fast forward to us getting home and my girlfriend makes a comment about it and I’m shocked because I honestly didn’t put 2 and 2 together but once she said something about it maybe being awkward that I wear it, I did realize the prints are definitely African and me wearing it could be seen as problematic. Now my girlfriend is not African so she didn’t feel comfortable straight up telling me I can’t wear it because it’s also not her culture.

Now I’m torn on if I can wear my new favorite shirt out and about or if it may be seen as problematic. I don’t want to bother anyone with it, I just simply love how it looks, feels and fits. I did research and know what it is now, and I also know the lady I bought it from makes them so it’s from a sustainable source. It may be worth noting that the city I live in has a large black population group so I just want to be sure me wearing it will not be offensive.

Would I be the asshole if I wear this out and about? Or should this be an in the house shirt only? It feels like a shame to just wear it in the house since it really is a great quality piece. Thank you!

Edit: quick edit after I re-read my post, I want to be clear my gf also likes how it looks. She isn’t saying I can’t wear it but that I should maybe be thoughtful about where I wear it. I made this post to get other opinions and make sure I’m going about this right

So the thing is one of my closest friend's laptop got some issue and it won't restart. He works as a freelancer and does video editing. When he was telling me about it I offered that he can use my laptop while he gets a newer one/gets it fixed. After one day he called me and quoted me and asked if he can use the laptop. i said okay and he came immediately to take the laptop (Tuesday) I told him he can keep it till the weekend.

Meanwhile he didn't purchase a new laptop citing financial issues nor could he get his repaired. On Saturday we met and I told him I need laptop as I'm alone and I play games on my laptop and do trading in the morning hours.

On Sunday night when I asked him again then he calls up and says a long story and then asks for 5 more working days. For which I said No, and told him again the same thing that I need it. He brought my laptop on Sunday night and asked if he could come to my place and work. I felt bad that he is still asking after telling him that I need the laptop. And Idk why I said you take in the afternoon but in the evening and morning hours I need it.

Monday(today) he called me twice for the laptop and then in the night (today) after 9 he messaged me asking do you want to play on Wednesday on the laptop. According to him Tuesday I don't need the laptop and only on Wednesday I can get it for playing for a few hours and then he will take it back.

WIBTA Now if I tell him to give me my laptop back and I won't be giving it to him for work anymore as he doesn't respect my requirements and is just taking advantage of me trying to help him. Also I need to play games as I stay by myself and I don't have anyone to talk to as it gets too lonely and I trade with a good setup.

Edit 1- When say he is refusing to give prolly it doesnt get the real picture across. should have been clear that he doesn't intend to let me use it in morning hrs. Not exactly stolen or anything like that. It's just he doesn't want to give it back to me before he gets another. Prolly he has realised once I get my hands on it I'll not give it back to him

Edit 2- I don't want to actually fight him or end the friendship but that's what is going to happen when I ask for my laptop back. As it'll be you don't care enough about my work and you are being difficult or I'll come to your place and work.

Edit 3- last night he messaged me asking if I've a day off on Wednesday , which ofcourse I don't have. He said he can plan around my usage on Wednesday. I'll mostly get it back and stop talking to him

I’m a local musician. I did some touring with a band in the past but I’m purely a local musician these days. My wife and I have agreed that any communication that I have with females about gigs or anything needs to be communicated with her so that there’s no discrepancy about what the communication is about. She also has full access to my phone and can open it at any time without question. Recently someone contacted me about playing a private party, something I do pretty often. This person has never seen me play before and just contacted me on a reference from someone else. After getting the contract and stuff sent over I invited this woman to come see me play at a local gig at which my wife, child, and parents were all going to be at (something I’ve done tons of times whether they are male or female). My wife says that although I was transparent about the communication, I wasn’t transparent about inviting them to see me play (because I then found out after inviting them that they were from out of town) and that isn’t something I should be doing because a woman could get the wrong idea. While I maintain that I didn’t do anything wrong I accept that boundary and won’t do that again without talking to her first, no biggie. But she is stuck on how I don’t see anything wrong with it and I feel like it’s something I’ve always done so that if someone who hasn’t seen me play before can get a feel for what it is that I do because people have different tastes in music and performances. Am I the asshole for not knowing that I need to specify that I invited them out to the gig when that isn’t something I knew before now?

TW: VIOLENCE

AITA for calling the police on my best friend?

AITA for calling police after my friend attempted to strangle me?
Tldr: My best friend (24m) attempted to strangle me(25f) while having an alcoholic induced psychotic episode and im really struggling with not being able to see him

On September 21st,2026 my best friend of 6 years had a psychotic episode fueled by alcohol and attempted to strangle me.

I keep having flashbacks of the way he was looking at me and it breaks my heart.

The argument started because he was being loud and i didnt want him to wake up my kids (2&6). I had noticed in the last hour before everything happened, that he was being weird by singing incoherently, throwing things around, talking nonsense to the open space beside him...however he refused to converse or interact with me, which is very out of character for him. I kept asking is he was okay and he kept getting aggressive.. ive never known him to raise his voice or even be angry...

I mentioned i was worried about his out-of-character behavior and that i was going to call 911 because he was scaring me.. At that point something in him switched and he began charging at me.. i did my best to keep him away from my body but he eventually grabbed me from behind and took me to the ground by my neck..

He held me down and got on my backside, then held me in a chokehold and kept asking me "are you done?!" No matter how many times i apologized and told him "im done! Please let me go" he held on.
(I will admit, the pressure on my neck while he was holding me down was never enough to restrain my breathing, but i could not leave his grip, and was out of breath from being held down.)

It was 9pm and got to the point where i was screaming for him to let me go and my neighbor and his wife came out. My neighbor threatened to choke him out if he didnt let go... he wouldnt so my neighbor pulled him off of me as his wife pulled me away in the opposite direction. My neighbor kept saying "call 911! CALL THEM!" I don't remember much after that as the adrenaline was very high but im sure i could get the police body cam and dispatch call records..

Now it is October 20th and im really struggling mentally with not knowing how my best friend is doing... we arent allowed to see eachother as of now because of a no contact order and i genuinely am at the lowest point in my life...I have never seen him act that way. And the look in his eyes was not him.

Now heres where i feel like the asshole... i provided him with 2 beers and $15 for lunch that day.. i cant guarantee he spent the money on food instead of alcohol/drugs (however ive never known him to take any drugs), and i told him i would call police knowing thats something that has made him angry in the past...(especially while he was drunk)
i feel guilty because i know if i hadnt told him i would call, he never would have freaked out and we wouldnt be in this position.. im not asking for someone to make me feel better.. im asking for an outside perspective on whether or not what i said was fucked up...

So reddit.. AITAH?

Edit because i guess it needs to be said : HE IS THE FATHER OF MY 2 YEAR OLD AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM DRUNK OTHER THAN THAT NIGHT. HE WOULD ONLY EVER DRINK A BEER OR TWO LIKE ONCE A WEEK ON A FRIDAY... I DO NOT LET RANDOM DRUNK MEN AROUND MY CHILDREN AND THIS WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME IVE EVER SEEN THIS MAN AGGRESSIVE.

Second edit because i don't want to mislead and comments are hard to find sometimes:

we were never a couple.. we stupidly had sex on my 23rd birthday that resulted in me getting pregnant. (This is the one and only time we have been sexually intimate) We do not consider each-other "baby daddy" "baby mama" we were always best friends that happened to have a child together. We never lived together. I never allowed him to drink around my kids. Thank you

I’ll be honest i’m at a really a vulnerable point in my life as I was hospitalized a week ago for a mental health crisis that being said, I’m not excusing myself. So yesterday I was invited to a camping trip by one of my close friends, and my boyfriend was also invited (keep in mind he wasn’t originally invited and was only invited because of a friend) I was not too happy because me and him had an argument before this, but I was excited because I wanted change rn. So for the whole day I planned what I needed to buy for the trip. but later that night was when it all went down, my friend text me saying how she added three more people and how the site was basically full because it’s really popular and that I can’t go. No she didn’t directly tell me I can’t go, which was why I was frustrated because she kept telling me that instead we could go ice-skating a week before that and so on even though I really wanted to go camping because I wanted to see my boyfriend. She even started to brag about how much fun I would’ve had if I went and the activities they would be doing. I was really distraught and mad, I’ve already been through a lot in the past four months. I just ended up breaking down and crying so I texted my boyfriend and told him that I can’t go because they invited two more people after me. He was obviously really upset because he was looking forward to seeing me and tried to talk to her about this. She explained to him how she can’t really do anything and so he told her that he didn’t wanna go anymore. That’s when she started to make it seem like the whole point of the trip was for him to see his friends one last time before they go to UNI. What got me even more mad was when she said that he’ll never see them again.
him being a pushover he felt obligated to go. But he demanded her that a month from now if someone changes their mind, then I can go. But the vibe is already ruined and if I go, I feel pitted. Because you don’t just uninvite someone for a new person. It’s plainly rude and disrespectful.

This morning, I got into an argument with my boyfriend because I was upset that he was still going And fell for her guilt trip. I told him how i’m busy before the camping trip and after so the next time he’ll see me is in December and how I really wanted to hang out with him. I’m still really confused because the whole reason he wanted to go was to see me (we’ve both been abroad for 4 months) and now he would rather go camping then hang out with me because she guilt trips.
I get that he won’t have time to hang out with his friends, but they live in the same neighbourhood and uni doesn’t start yet neither has he wanted to hangout with them. I know he tried to cheer me up by being all lovey-dovey, but I was so frustrated. I just told him that I didn’t care which was very rude of me so we’re both giving silent treatment.
Basically, I was uninvited for two people and felt really undervalued while my boyfriend who originally wasn’t invited can go.

And before you ask me how I know she guilt trips is because she told me the reason why she planned the trip was to see me?

So AITAH for getting really upset and should I go if someone happens to bail out of the trip?

Basically, I work at a bookstore and nextdoor is a Dollar Tree. I frequently go to the Dollar Tree to grab a drink and snack on my break. There’s a guy that works there that seemed to take a liking to me. I had only seen him like twice. This third time he happened to be stocking right by the chips I wanted and he gave me a hug. The hug felt weird because, again, I had only talked to him twice and purely to get what I needed from the store. I had only struck up light convo with him because I was always in a hurry to go relax for the rest of my lunch. This third time, he asked to give me his number which was sweet. But I wasn’t sure I was that into him. It also felt really fast.

But then that same day a few hours later he came into the bookstore. I was in the middle of working on a project and he stopped by to tell me he was there. It just felt too clingy already. Like, he had just given me his number and then already wanted to see me again right away. AITAH for not wanting to text him now?

So, my partner and I used to work at the same place. It was retail and they worked there for a year and I still work there. I live with my partner. Since they stopped working there, my friends who also work there have been asking me about my partner and what they're up to now. My partner had moved to another job and then moved to another(barista now). I would tell my friends that they are working as a barista and at their other job and are doing well. In reality, their other job had terrible hours, coworkers and we had no good form of transportation, which led them to not work there anymore.

My partner asked me to not tell my family about them not working with me anymore because they were worried they'd be judged negatively for it. It's been like 3 months since they stopped working at both now and are now a barista. My partner visited me at work one day and my friends brought up questions about their new job, I thought this was fine since some of my friends had also been baristas and they had stuff to talk about, but I also had no clue when my partner was going to visit me at work since it's been months.

Fast forward to today, my parents were driving me home tonight and asked about my partner and if they still worked with me and I hesitated and then said the truth and told them no. I had also already told them the didn't work at their other job because of the transportation issue, and I didn't think it was a bad thing to be honest with them because I struggle holding up those lies for a while, plus my family asks a lot of questions. I explained that my partner loves their barista job and is doing great and we are doing great and I talked them up, it was fine. My parents were supportive of it and that was that.

I get home and straight away I told my partner that I ended up telling my parents. We got into this whole argument about how my partner feels like I took away their autonomy to tell my friends/their friends themselves and how I should've just said "they're good, but you should ask them yourself". I felt like that is so weird to tell everyone cause then when my partner never talks to them, its gonna feel like "why so secretive?"

hey brought up how my family had had some conflicts with my partner and worries about finances, and we are currently in a financial bind, but I didn't bring that up. I thought it would be ok to talk about positives and that since our life is not going perfectly, why talk it up like it is because if something happens, it would be like, "well that doesn't make sense, why are you behind on rent if you both have been working full time for this long, yada yada" but if I was honest and explained even a fraction, I could avoid telling all the nitty gritty details, but still make it sound like we were doing ok.

My partner is furious with me saying I took away their autonomy and I am a chronic oversharer when I just didn't want to lie about stuff for months on end. I don't even know how else I could've approached it because I didn't bring it up, I was asked and I've had problems with my family thinking Im becoming distant because I don't share much and I want to keep them close to me.

If you have tips on how to better approach this, id appreciate it too.

Three times in the last two weeks my child’s father has left the window open in her room. We live on a ground floor home and when the window is open, the alarm won’t go off if someone were to break into the house. She is 10 months old and of course I have major concerns about this behavior when she’s a toddler and can actually get up and potentially go out the window. I asked him tonight to not open the window when putting her to bed (he complains the room is hot) and when I checked later on, I saw he opened it and left it open again.

I brought the issue to him, obviously upset as this is now the third time in less than 2 weeks, but I kept my voice level. He said “okay it was a mistake” without looking at me because he was too busy playing video games. When I continued trying to communicate how I’m seriously worried about this (because he said it was a mistake the last two times and nothing seems to be changing), he started getting angry and telling me I’m bullying him and to go away and learn to have self-control. Then he said “this is why I shut and lock my door” because he locks me out of his office while he plays video games every night. His reasoning is that I yell at him yet every night I just read or clean the house and listen to podcasts. We don’t even speak so idk how I’m yelling at him. I said I’m tired of him cutting off every communication whenever he decides he has said enough or doesn’t want to hear what I have to say.

And this isn’t the only safety issue, this is just one of several I’ve tried to communicate since she was born but he just doesn’t want to hear it. He constantly makes excuses for things and says he will stop or change and he never does. Any time I say anything to him he tells me I’m yelling at him or speaking in an angry tone or bullying him. We have a baby monitor that records though since I hired a babysitter recently, and when I go back and look, every time I’m speaking to him like a normal person. In almost every situation, he’s the one getting angry or mocking me or speaking with heavy sarcasm/contempt. We get along when I never make his life uncomfortable in any way, and I recognize that now.

AITA for continuing to try and address something I think is a very significant safety issue even though he told me he knows it was a mistake? I feel like that would be acceptable the first time but the fact it keeps happening makes me feel like there needs to be a real conversation but he gets so angry.

My girlfriend (20F) and I (20M) have been together for about 10 months. We generally get along really well, but we have recurring arguments that sometimes escalate into major fights.

Recently, we almost broke up, talked things through, and decided to work on the relationship. One issue we discussed was her difficulty managing her emotions, which she attributes in part to her difficult childhood. We also discussed her needing therapy.

Today, we argued because I didn't give her a back rub.

The last time we hung out, I said I might give her a back rub when I came over after work, depending on how exhausted I was. I wasn't making a promise. I'd been passing out after work for the past couple of days and was struggling to stay awake during my shifts.

I didn't end up giving her one.

Today, she told me that I never rub her back when she asks and that I don't make her feel cared for. I acknowledged that I could make more of an effort, but explained that she often asks when I'm getting home from work exhausted.

I also brought up a time when I was in pain after work and she promised to rub my back but forgot, despite being home that day. When I reminded her and expressed disappointment, she said I was pouting and whining.

I wasn't trying to keep score. I was trying to explain why I felt like there was a double standard.

She got increasingly upset and said I never do anything for her and that she wants her man to make her feel good.

The frustrating part is that I feel like I already put considerable effort into our relationship. I initiate affection constantly, sometimes to the point that she pushes me away or gets annoyed. I plan practically all our dates, drive to see her every time, and compliment her regularly.

I'm not saying I'm a perfect boyfriend. I'm willing to work on things that make her feel loved. But she repeatedly tells me that I don't make her feel safe, cared for, or taken care of, without giving me concrete examples of what I should change beyond general complaints like this.

There's also a recurring problem with how our arguments escalate. Around two to four times a month, she gets so upset that she'll say extremely hurtful things, including mocking my self-harm, calling me a horrible man, comparing me to her abusive father and stepfather, and saying I'm just like every other man.

She later apologizes, but I often feel like she struggles to fully acknowledge what she's said or take responsibility for it.

When I'm hurt, I tend to go quiet after trying to communicate and feeling unheard. She's mocked me for this, called me a kicked dog, and laughed at me for acting like an abused person. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want her to notice when I'm upset because I'm worried she'll make fun of me.

I know withdrawing isn't ideal, and I'm willing to work on communicating better. I also know her feelings are real, even if I don't always agree with her interpretation of things.

I eventually told her I could try to do more for her or discuss what I could realistically do when I'm exhausted, and that I'd appreciate her acknowledging how much I work. I muted the conversation so I could focus on work rather than continue an escalating argument.

She later apologized, but continued criticizing me. When I finally raised a significant concern about her own behavior, she went silent.

I love her, and when things are good, they're genuinely good. I don't want to dismiss her needs or end a relationship over ordinary disagreements. But I'm starting to feel like my efforts never count and that my feelings aren't treated with the same consideration as hers.

AITAH for pushing back when she criticized me over the back rub, or am I being defensive and failing to meet my girlfriend's needs?

TL;DR: My girlfriend says I don't care for her because I didn't give her a back rub after saying I might, despite being exhausted from work. I feel I put significant effort into the relationship, but when she's upset, she sometimes insults me and mocks me for being hurt. I want to know whether I'm being unreasonable or whether this is a bigger relationship problem.

So me (17M) and her (16F) have been talking for a couple of weeks and planning to go to a dance together at our high school. We’ve hung out pretty much every day, texted late into the night, and kissed and cuddled.
A couple of days ago, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said no because she wanted more time to think about it. I completely respect that, especially considering her past experiences. However, the way she responded threw me off a little because she said, “You’re seriously asking me this?”
Later, when I was leaving, I thanked her for being honest about how she felt and told her I would respect her decision. Somehow, the conversation turned into her telling me that she had been trying to avoid kissing me so she wouldn’t get too attached, that she had a lot of mental health issues, and that she didn’t know if she was ready for a relationship. I suggested that we just be friends, and she agreed that it was probably the better choice.
About 30 minutes after I left, she texted me saying that she still saw me more as a friend than a potential boyfriend but wanted to see where things went. I told her I needed some space to think everything through.
A day later, she called me and told me how much she missed me and that she was willing to try a relationship with me after all. At that point, though, I no longer wanted to pursue a relationship because I felt like she had been contradicting herself a lot.
I was straightforward with her and told her that I thought it would be better if we stayed friends because she had a lot going on and had been giving me mixed signals. She then got upset and started saying that I had been such a dick to her recently and that I should be lucky she was even talking to me. I eventually hung up and reiterated that I just wanted to be friends and no longer wanted to go to the dance with her.
She got even more upset, calling me immature and inconsiderate, and eventually blocked me on everything.
Looking back, I do think I might have asked her to be my girlfriend too soon. However, I don’t think I was being a dick by deciding that I would rather be friends, especially after she told me she had been avoiding kissing me because she didn’t want to get too attached. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Am I the asshole? So small background. I’ve had the roughest summer of my life. I had a cancer scare and traumatic biopsy and lots of meds and testing, moved into my own place in June, and then my aunt passed in July from cancer and she was a second mom to me and my grandfather just passed last month and that was just awful, lots of traveling for the funerals and for work. I’ve hardly been able to catch my breath and feel like I’m drowning and I’m miserable. On top of all this my brothers “gf” told me last week she’s pregnant with twins. His “gf” is 20 and he’s 21 and they live with my mom and my mom is moving out of state in January. My brother works full time for part time pay and she doesn’t work. They also broke up and he refused to claim her as his girlfriend up until now I guess I’m still not sure. I’m certified in childcare and postpartum work it’s what I’ve done for 8+ years I know for a fact this will all fall on me now considering no one else is around family wise to help them now that my mom is moving. I also now have a cat who I never asked for or wanted but the gf got the cat and couldn’t take care of him and he needed a home so I took him in. That for starters is how I know I’ll end up somehow stuck raising twins that aren’t even mine. Am I wrong for being distant and wanting nothing to do with them and being extremely disappointed and heartbroken? Am I being too woe is me?