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Problem/Goal: Since I still don’t know a lot of philipinnes, I’d love to get some tips or advice from you guys of things of that zones that can be cute to know 😊

Context: I’m a 23yo Spanish guy and I recently started courting a 25yo Filipina girl. She’s currently living here in Spain for her studies.

She’s originally from Mindanao but lived in Manila for a while before coming to Spain.

I really, really like her and want to do things properly. I know Filipino courtship (panliligaw) can be a big deal and quite traditional, so even though we are in Europe, I want to show her that I respect her culture. also that think that she deserves it. (She said yes 3 weeks ago)

Thanks a lot in advance, appreciate the help!

Problem/Goal:
I need advice about whether being persistent after someone initially says no but later changed her mind to yes is enough to be considered r*pe. I also don't know what to do now that my ex-girlfriend has publicly called me a rapist on social media.

Context:
Back in February, nag-check in kami, and we had s*x. At first, she said she didn't want to because she thought that I was a virgin and because she didn't like the condom brand. So I asked multiple times, like, "Sure na sure ka na ba?" and "Okay naman tong brand, eh." I explained my side na safe naman yung cond*m and convinced her, and she eventually agreed. So yes, I made a mistake because I was so persistent that time, pero di kasi ako nakarinig ng straight no saying na she did not want to do it with me talaga. She's saying no because of the brand or my virginity, so here I am, trying to convince her. Also, she did not seem uncomfortable when we were doing the deed, kaya wala akong alam kung napipilitan lang ba talaga siya. I genuinely believed she had changed her mind and was consenting. I didn't threaten, force, or intimidate her.

However, after we broke up in October, all of a sudden, she brought up February and said she only agreed because she felt guilty and that I had disrespected her refusal. Naging intimate pa kami maraming times after nung February, she even gifted me 12 boxes of cond*ms. Pero all of a sudden, she regrets everything and suddenly puts the blame on me saying na coercion and rap*st daw ako.

I don't honestly know what to do. She posted my identity, calling me a rapist on social media. And I honestly want to unalive myself because never in my life tinawag ako sa ganyan na di ko naman ginawa talaga. I was persistent, yes, pero is that enough reason for me to be considered a rap*st? Because I swear, lahat may consent talaga. i'm so tired of my life sobra sobra. idk why need humantong kami sa ganto.

Previous Attempts:
I'm about to consult a lawyer pa because my reputation is ruined. pero at the same time, i don't want to, because I'm sure that my ex is already struggling in life, so i'm having a second thought. I'm trying to understand whether what happened in February could legally be considered r*pe and what I should do about her social media posts.

Problem/Goal: Need advice lang kasi my mind’s a mess rn.

My gf broke up with her ex nung December kasi toxic daw yung relationship nila and nag-cheat sa kanya. She told me na wala na siyang gana and she was already moving on. Pero recently, nalaman ko na nag-sex pa pala sila nung January kasi nami-miss niya and may love pa siya sa ex niya. They even went to a concert nung April, same month na nagkakilala kami.
From January to April, kinukulit pa raw siya ng ex niya na makipagbalikan, pero hindi niya ma-reject nang tuluyan kasi naaawa siya. Nung nakilala niya lang ako, saka siya nagkaroon ng courage to finally say na ayaw na niya talaga.

Hindi ako nagseselos sa past niya, I’m just disappointed kasi napapaisip ako kung fully healed na ba talaga siya nung nakilala niya ako, or nag-let go lang siya kasi may bago na siyang nakilala.

She also told me na she manifested a Sagittarius partner, and I’m a Sagittarius. She says I’m healing her and making her life easier, kaya minsan napapaisip ako if she genuinely loves me for who I am or if she just loves the idea of me kasi I came into her life when she needed someone.

I know these things don’t automatically mean na rebound ako, pero I can’t help noticing patterns and questioning things. I don’t want to judge her past, but I also don’t want to invalidate what I feel.
Am I overthinking this? How do you know if someone genuinely loves you for who you are and not just because of what you bring into their life?

Problem/goal: My landlord raped me

Context: Long overdue in my rent 2 months delay but I told him makakabayad ako I just need time may 1 month advanced deposit ako at nagamit ko na ‘yon. Last month lang talaga ako hindi nakabayad. Nag assure ako sa kanya, sabi ko within this month. Kanina pumunta sya sa apt ke aga aga kukunin lang daw ang electric bill…pero may iba palang plano. Matagal ko na talagang napapansin na may gusto siya sakin pero hindi ako nagbibigay ng any sign or ine entertain siya, ni magcha-chat siya randomnly hindi ko nirereplyan unless kung magbabayad ako ng bill tsaka ako magcha-chat sa kanya. Kanina tinulak ko siya, gusto ko sumigaw pero halos walang lumabas sa bibig ko, mas malakas din siya sakin. He’s 40+ while 21 lang po ako.

Previous Attempts: None. But nagself harm ako at balak ko mag suicide mamaya. Nandidiri ako sa katawan ko.

Problem/Goal: did i overreact by cutting off my bestfriend because she played along with my boyfriend?

sorry in advance for the long read

context: actually, this happened few months ago, and my supposedly boyfriend is now my ex. i have been in a relationship with him for about 2 years, and my ex best friend and i have been friends ever since we were in grade 7th.

apparently she is the only person that i considered my best friend because high school was a really isolating time for me, and she was genuinely the only friend i had. so cutting ties with her was a really big deal to me.

my ex boyfriend on the other hand is my first and only partner that i have been with. throughout the relationship, my ex was genuinely a great boyfriend who never made me feel bad about myself, and i had absolutely no reasons to suspect him of cheating until it actually happened. i didn't catch on to the cheating right away because it was so subtle—literal na hindi ko malalaman if no one told me. it all started with online games. around that time, i rarely played mobile legends anymore because i was just way too busy with life, so i let him use my account.

day off ko that time when i logged into my ML account and saw a private message from a random girl. it said, "alam nya ba na binigyan mo ako?" and "nag enjoy naman ako, thank you" idk why pero nag fade away ang other replies from my account so replies lang ang nakikita ko from the other person.

i know it sounds petty and unreasonable at first glance, especially since anyone can just send a random message like that. but here's the thing: my ex didn't have any female friends. so i screenshotted the chat and sent it to my best friend, because she's the only person i always ran to whenever my boyfriend and i had problems.

if you guys are wondering where my boyfriend is, he was asleep at the time, so i couldn't confront him directly. i just vented everything to my best friend instead. out of all the things she told me, there was one exact thing she said that i never forgot. she told me:

"iyang boyfriend mo, loyal naman ‘yan at nakikita kong mahal ka n‘ya. pero sorry ha, pakiramdam ko kung may lalandi sakan‘ya papatulan n‘ya"

and u guys guess it right, he did flirt w her. after the 'one exact thing she said that i never forgot' i begged her for more context. she slips out and admitted that my boyfriend now ex, tries to flirt with her.

i asked for their conversation, aba may dump account pala ang ex boyfriend ko that i wasn't fully aware of 😅. i practically begged her several times just to see the whole conversation, and there it was. exchange of normal conversations at first pero it started when they played online games together at night kasi nga unavailable ako due to work and school schedules.

my ex boyfriend even texted her "tara g? basta walang kiss ah haha" and my ex bestfriend replies "gagi haha lagot ka kay (insert my name) kapag nalaman n‘ya" and based on their current conversation, they even met up once without me AND without telling me 😅 she asked for forgiveness obv, but i couldn't care less. i called her a whore and stupid for ruining my relationship and our relationship, after that i broke up w my ex and i cutt ties with her.

problem: the problem is, my now whole circle thinks im unreasonable for cutting her off. because i literally leave the gc and the circle itself. they keep telling me that she didn’t entertain him and maybe we could work it out. and in my defense, i told them that yes although she didn’t exactly flirt back, but she still just let it happen. but they still pressuring me up until now.

and now, i am feeling guilty that maybe they were right, what if i overracted? what if we can just talk it out like an adults?

previous attempts: i have no attempts. tho i am thinking, should i just talk to my ex best friend and forgive her? or should i cut off my entire friend circle over this? im still mourning for the lost of my best friend and the potential of my past relationship tho, i really don't know what to do 😭

thank you in advance everyone.

problem/goal: My fiance has been hiding his big purchases from me and it only took him a span of one month.

context: so my fiance (33M) and me (28F) are planning to have our wedding next year. Si fiance is earning 3 times my salary and wala saken yun, it's his money. TBH I tend not to meddle with his expenses kasi separate naman finances namin.

So dito na ako medyo na disappoint sa kanya, last month lang he bought a digital camera worth 30k. Tinago niya saken yun and eventually nakita ko pa rin kasi hanggang kelan niya itatago yun diba? I let it slide kasi pera niya naman talaga yun and he rarely buy things for himself maliban sa mga expensive mouse niya. Today, I saw sa phone niya na BUMILI siya AGAIN ng digital camera worth 60k. HIndi ko alam ang mafifeel ko.

Kung nagwowonder kayo why I'm disappointed. Meron pa kasi siyang hinuhulugang lupa and hindi pa kami tapos mag ipon para sa kasal. May plan din kaming magpatayo ng bahay.

For me, okay lang naman na gumastos siya sa hobby niya pero yung ganun kalaki and wala naman siyang balak na mag start ng studio or mag generate ng income.

additonal info: may savings naman siya pero 5 digits pa lang.

previous attempt/s: Kinausap ko siya before na magdahan dahan sa gastos kasi marami pa kaming gagastusan and sabi niya magtitipid naman siya.

Problem/Goal: Masikip yung parking

Context: I asked the contact person of my apartment if pwedeng pasabihan yung sa parking kung pwedeng pakigilid yung parking nila kasi hindi ako makapasok sa likod at masikip at kung sa harap ko naman ipaparada ang kotse ko, di makakadaan ang nasa likod. Di ko ma-post yung screenshot sana pero nireplyan ako na “pulis po may ari niyan pero sabihan ko po” it’s frustrating enough na ang mahal ng parking nila, andami pang debris na nakakalat since demolished building ang parking. Sabi kasi before I rented the apartment na pinapagawa daw yung parkingan ng rerentan kong apartment so nag yes ako tumira dito since tabi lang ng apartment yung parking. Naghanap ako parkingan sa kabilang kanto before kasi bago ako tumira dito sabi may parking daw tas biglang wala na sila response sakin nung dumating ako dito for my training. Ngayon, nirerenovate yung nahanap kong parking so kahit maraming debris na makakahurt sa gulong ng kotse, nag g na ako dahil wala na ibang mahanap. Tas ngayon ang problema may araw na sinabihan ako 5pm na daw ako mag park don kasi yun yung oras na aalis yung isa. Tas neto na naka park na ako, kailangan pa kunin yung number ko kasi tatawagan daw ako pag may aalis man na need ko igalaw yung parking ko. Ang hassle naman ng ganto. Gusto ko irefund kasi ayaw kong makaabala pag magmamadali akong umalis at ayaw ko ding maabala pag sila ang need umalis. Ayaw na ako replyan.

Previous Attempts: Nag ask ako na kahit igilid konti para may daanan sa gitna kaso nireplyan ako ng pulis daw ang may ari nung kotse na isa at sasabihan nalang daw. Nakakapikon lang na bakit need pa ipagmalaki na pulis yan?

Problem/Goal: Lately, I've been thinking a lot about love, relationships, and marriage, and I think I've reached a point where I've genuinely lost faith in them.

It's not just because of my own experiences with heartbreak, but also because of the countless stories I've heard about marriages falling apart. Infidelity, betrayal, people falling out of love, partners changing after marriage, years of resentment, and people staying in unhappy marriages because leaving is too complicated.

It makes me wonder: is it really worth it?

Even if you find someone you genuinely love and build a beautiful life together, there's still the possibility of losing them someday. Maybe the relationship ends, maybe you grow apart, or maybe one of you dies and the other has to live with that loss. Love seems to come with the inevitable possibility of heartbreak, one way or another.

I know nothing in life is guaranteed, but there's something particularly frightening about allowing someone to become such an important part of your life, knowing that losing them could hurt you so deeply.

Sometimes I think I'd rather just stay single, focus on my career, enjoy my independence, spend time with my family and friends, and grow old with my cats. Maybe have casual relationships occasionally, but never let anyone get close enough to break my heart.

And honestly, that life doesn't sound so bad to me. It sounds peaceful.

But I can't help wondering whether I'm genuinely becoming content with the idea of being single forever, or whether I'm just becoming afraid of love and everything that comes with it.

I don't want to sound bitter or like I'm saying all relationships are doomed. I know happy couples exist. I just find it increasingly difficult to believe that romantic love is worth the risk, especially when there's no guarantee that things will work out.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Did you eventually find someone who changed your perspective, or did you learn to be genuinely happy without romantic love? I'd really like to hear your experiences, especially from people who have been through heartbreak or have been married for a long time.

Problem/Goal: Tama ba ang definition ko ng ligawan stage?

Context: Hi, I'm [F18] and kakasimula ko lang sa college. I started liking a boy [M18] (as in crush and like lang) and the boy liked me back, and nung mas lalo na tumagal at nag-develop, nasabi niya na love niya na ko. Take note, di ko pa siya love, and I told him that as in "like" ko pa lang siya and I don't love him yet pa.

So nag-ask siya if puwede ba siyang maging manliligaw ko. I said yes. Pero sa stage ng ligawan, want niya na exclusive na ko sa kaniya and wala na akong ine-entertain na iba (or if may guy na mag-the moves sakin need ko na i-turn down since meron na akong manliligaw), which I disagree with kasi akala ko ba ligawan stage means him trying to win my heart (and his choice na exclusive siya sakin), not the other way around? Kasi for me if exclusive na ko and sakaniya na ako its more on for nasa bf/gf mode na yun.

Sabi niya, di daw siya agree na maging manliligaw ko na di ako exclusive kasi he has self-respect, kaya gusto niya mag-compromise ako and i-try namin i-work out (o sa madaling salita, basta exclusive na agad kami or bawal na mag-entertain ng iba) . But I never agreed to that- kaya should I just say no na ayaw ko na magpaligaw kasi ganun pala yung ligawan, may commitment agad? Kaya napapatanong ako—mali ba ako? Baka mali lang ang definition ko ng ligawan.

Problem/Goal:

Pano bang tawag sa mga tao o kaibigan na alam na may partner ako, nagshashare pa ng mga past na ewan. Keso naaala ka ni ano, naalala pa birthday mo, like kailangan pa ba yun sabihin sa akin?

Context:

Panira ng araw lang kase. Parang walang respesto. Nka ilan na kase yung mga friends ko naganito. Syempre magtatanong partner ko na sino yan ano pinag uusapan nyo.

Previous Attempts: Nka ilan na mga kaibigan ko. Ang iba di ko na pinapansin. Parang FO narin

Problem/Goal:

I just want advice from people who've experienced something similar. How do you cope when you find out na yung sarili mong mom is cheating on your dad? How do you deal with the disappointment, anger, and the realization na your family isn't what you thought it was?

I don't know what to do with everything I'm feeling. Ang hirap lang na may alam kang ganito tungkol sa sarili mong pamilya, pero kailangan mo pa ring kumilos na parang normal lang ang lahat. I want to know how other people handled this kind of situation and how they learned to live with it without letting it consume them.

Context:

My mom has been having an affair with a man who has his own family. And the plot twist? His wife and my mom were actually best friends.

Imagine finding out na yung taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo, someone who's supposed to be your friend, is having an affair with your own husband. Hindi ko talaga alam kung paano i-process yung buong situation.

Earlier this year, during my ate's birthday, she was in Cebu when my kuya suddenly told her to come home to Pasay because of the situation. There was a concern na baka kumalat yung news about the affair, especially since the man ay baranggay official.

My kuya even begged the man's wife not to let the issue spread. What's even more complicated is that the wife seems to be taking everything quietly. I don't know exactly what she's feeling or why she's choosing to handle it that way, but I wonder if part of it has to do with their children, especially since they're still young. Maybe she's also worried about what could happen to them and their relationship with their father if everything falls apart.

Then, after my birthday, my ate finally told me about the affair because she couldn't keep it to herself anymore, especially after my parents had an argument that day.

The thing is, matagal ko nang pinaghihinalaan si mama. I remember seeing dating apps on her phone before, and I always felt na may something talaga. I just didn't know the full story until my ate told me.

My papa still doesn't know about the affair. My siblings and other people are aware of it, but they're worried about how my dad might react because of his health.

Previous attempts:

Honestly, I've mostly been keeping everything to myself and trying to process it. I keep thinking about how long this has been happening and how my mom could do something like this to my dad, especially with someone whose wife was supposedly her best friend.

I'm also thinking about the other family involved. The man has children, including one younger than me, and I can't help feeling angry that the children are the ones who might end up suffering because of the adults' decisions.

At the same time, I understand that the situation is complicated. There are children, health concerns, and family relationships involved. I don't know if telling my dad is the right thing to do or how everything would turn out if the truth came out. I just know that keeping this information to myself is emotionally exhausting.

For those who've experienced a parent cheating, how did you cope with it? Did it change your relationship with the parent who cheated? How did you deal with the anger and disappointment, especially when you still had to live with them?

And for those who grew up in families where infidelity was kept a secret, how did you handle knowing the truth while everyone else tried to act like everything was normal?

I never thought I'd have to deal with something like this in my own family. Ang hirap pala kapag nare-realize mong hindi perfect yung family mo, and suddenly, you don't know how to look at the people you love the same way anymore.

Problem/Goal: I'm(25M) having a 3rd date tonight with a 10/10 (28F). I wanted to make a move sana to make it more romantic by going to the movies kaso walang romcom na showing huhu. I wanna set the mood sana. We hold hands while walking and in the movies naman. We play footsie din under the table sometimes pag nasa office. I want to make it super romantic so I can ask for a kiss (kahit cheeks lang muna I don't wanna push/rush her)

Kaso I saw a post sa ads about a wine and pasta making tonight din close to where she lives. Should I opt for the pasta making date instead? It looks promising eh.

For context, she's a foodie and film buff. Kaya torn ako. I know she'll like Primetime (yung kay Robert Pattinson). Kaso yun nga, ang weird naman kung nag make ako ng move during that movie HAHAHAHAHA.

EDIT: sa SM North yung movie, sa A.K.A. Cocktail bar Yung pasta making. If may suggestion kayo on a better cinema, g.

Problem/Goal: I am 27F planning to move out to my sister's house (formerly my parents house) next year. Sobrang narcissist, bully at burara ng ate ko since bata pa lang kami and mas naging worst ngayon. I have 0 privacy ever since. Lagi nyang pinapakealaman yung phone ko para basahin yung mga messages, diary ko and nag memessage sa mga naging boyfriend ko noon para siraan ako. I stayed here kasi its financially wise and practical kasi wala akong binabayarang rent kaso everytime na na titrigger nya ko parang gusto ko na lang mag suicide. Nakakasira sya ng mental health. Yung parents ko retired na and nasa probinsya na for good sa retirement house nila. Hindi ako makalipat dun kasi maliit lang din ang space and walang signal sa area at walang Internet Service Provider.

Context: Work from home permanently earning 28,000Php Gross per month from sahod and 4,000Php fixed income from business. May overtime din regularly every month worth 7k or more depende sa sipag kasi I'm workaholic and I love Rest day Overtime hehe. I have 3 indoor cats as well.

Libre internet connection ko dahil sagot ng company. I live in Cavite and planning to look for house/apartment in Cavite pa din. Plano ko wag galawin yung 13th month and bonus ko this December. Iniisip ko din yung magiging situation ko pagsapit ng Super El Niño kaya I need advise pag mag momove out ako ng January or Feb. Is 50k enough bago lumipat? May mga appliances na ako like ref, tv, workstation, air fryer, kalan, gas tank at matress. Hindi din ako maluho. Nakapag solo living na ako noon (2023) pero bumalik lang ako kasi na stroke yung father ko kaya may mga naipundar naman ako kahit paano..

Previous Attempts: Maghanap ng mauupahan and ang pinaka decent na nakita ko is worth 8.5k monthly.

Problem/Goal: I'm struggling with whether I should break up with my girlfriend, and I genuinely need an outside perspective because I feel like I've reached a point where I don't know what else to do.

We've been together for years, and I think that's one of the biggest reasons why I'm struggling to leave. We've built so much together, and I know she can be a good partner. She's caring, she's made efforts for me, and there are things about her that I genuinely love. I don't want to throw away a long-term relationship just because we're going through difficulties. At the same time, I wonder if I'm staying because of how much time we've invested in each other rather than because this relationship is actually meeting my needs.

One of our biggest problems is communication. I've tried every way I can think of to communicate my feelings and concerns, but she tends to avoid difficult conversations. Whenever we have a problem, she often withdraws or shuts down instead of working through it with me. She always says she'll do better, and I believe her when she says it.

I feel like I'm always the one initiating difficult conversations, explaining what's wrong, suggesting ways we can improve, and telling her what I need from her. I constantly have to explain how I want to be loved, how I want to be treated, and what would make me feel appreciated. We've been together for years, and part of me feels like she should know me well enough by now to take initiative and make an effort without me having to spell everything out. I don't expect her to read my mind, but I want to feel like she's paying attention to me and actively learning how to love me. I don't want to be responsible for managing our entire relationship.

She also tells me that I'm not creating a safe space for her to open up. I take that seriously because I genuinely want her to feel safe with me. However, I feel confused because I call her every day, ask how she's doing, check on her feelings, and try to boost her confidence. I try to reassure her and let her know that I care about her. From my perspective, I'm making an effort to be emotionally available, but she still feels like she can't open up to me.

We once argued about how I listen to her. She said I don't listen because I don't talk while she's speaking. But when I do speak and share my perspective, she says I'm making the conversation about myself. This leaves me confused about what I'm supposed to do.

Another thing that hurts me is that I feel like she doesn't give me the benefit of the doubt. When I express an opinion or point something out, she often interprets it as an attack. It feels like she assumes I have bad intentions instead of considering that I might be bringing something up because I care about her or want us to improve.

Our arguments have also developed into a cycle that I don't know how to break. Whenever we argue, I usually end up apologizing and taking accountability for my actions. I'm willing to acknowledge when I've hurt her, and I know I have my own shortcomings. However, even when she's the one who did something wrong, I often end up apologizing because of how I reacted to what happened. My reaction becomes the main issue, while what she did that hurt me gets pushed aside. Eventually, I end up feeling guilty, and the original problem never gets properly resolved. Then something similar happens again, and we repeat the same cycle.

Sometimes, when I bring up concerns, she becomes ashamed or says she's not good enough for me, and I end up reassuring her instead of discussing the issue. Other times, she brings up something I've done wrong when I'm trying to talk about something she did. I'm starting to feel exhausted by the gap between what we talk about and what actually happens afterward. I genuinely want to understand what I'm doing wrong and how I can become a better partner. But I also want to know whether I'm carrying too much responsibility for the problems in this relationship.

I don't want to leave just because things are difficult, but I also don't want to spend more years waiting for the relationship to become what I've been asking it to be. I'm scared of walking away from something we've invested so much time in, but I'm equally scared of looking back years from now and realizing that I stayed because I loved her potential more than the relationship we actually had.

Problem/Goal:
hi everyone, i really need some advice or just a safe space to vent out. sobrang bigat na ng nararamdaman ko at hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. family wants me to stay with a high-risk cousin because i’m a psych grad, but i need to set boundaries to protect my own mental health and go to my hometown to comfort a grieving friend.

Context: i have a bestfriend whose sister recently passed away due to mental health problems. i am planning to go home to our hometown to visit, comfort, and pay my respects to my bestfriend and their family.
but right now, a huge family dilemma came up. my cousin in manila is currently alone in her condo, and she is highly high-risk—as in she has active suicidal ideations and tendencies. now, my mom and my aunt are forcing me to go to her condo, stay with her, and give her "advice" just because i am a psychology graduate.

here’s my problem: i am suffering from severe insomnia (clinically diagnosed). inaalagaan ko rin ang sarili kong mental health, to the point na kailangan ko pa uminom ng quetiapine para lang makatulog. minsan nga kahit nainom ako, di pa rin ako makatulog. grabe ang lala ng insomnia ko na umaabot ng isang linggo na halos walang tulog, lalo na kapag may ibang kasama ako sa bahay o kapag nasa ibang lugar ako.

to be honest kinakahiya ko 'to. habang ang sarap ng tulog ng ibang tao, ako kailangan ko pa magpanggap na tulog o kakagising lang kapag may kasama, kasi ayaw kong magulat o ma-uncomfortable sila na hindi pala ako nakatulog buong magdamag. gets niyo ba 'yung hirap? the irony is, ang hometown ko ang kaisa-isang comfort place ko. doon lang talaga ako nakakatulog nang maayos at mahimbing nang hindi umaasa sa gamot. uuwi ako don hindi lang para sa kaibigan ko, kundi para na rin sa sarili kong kalusugan kasi kailangan kong makahinga at makatulog.

if i force myself to go to manila and stay with my cousin, i won't be able to help her at all. bakit? kasi kapag wala akong tulog, wala ako sa sarili ko. baka lalo lang kaming dalawa mapahamak doon. ngayon, sinasabihan ako ng mommy ko na baka magalit daw si tita kapag itinuloy ko ang pag-uwi sa hometown ko para sa kaibigan ko. iisipin daw na mas inuna ko pa 'yung ibang tao kaysa sa sarili kong pinsan. sobrang bigat ng guilt na pinapasa nila sa akin. natatakot ako na baka sa akin isisi ng buong pamilya kapag may nangyaring masama sa pinsan ko dahil lang hindi ko siya napuntahan.

as a psych grad, alam kong napakadelikado ng sitwasyon ng pinsan ko at alam kong hindi "advice ng pinsan na psychology graduate" ang kailangan niya kundi professional crisis intervention. pero hindi ko alam kung paano ito ipapaliwanag sa pamilya ko na hindi nagagalit o nagtatampo sa akin. (although lahat ng sinabi ko dito ay sinabi ko na rin sakanila pero di nila maintindihan talaga.)

Previous Attempts: im really doing my best to always check up on my cousin and talk to her, but i know that im not the best help for her. nirefer ko na rin naman yung pinsan ko sa isang psychiatrist sa UST hospital, na 3 minutes walking distance lang from her condo para matingnan at magamot siya nang tama. sabi niya rin kasi na mas gusto niya ng in person session kaya pwede niya daanan after dismissal nila. sinabi ko na rin sa mommy ko kung hindi ba pwedeng yung mismong parents na lang niya ang sumama at magbantay sa kanya kasi weekends naman ngayon, at ang nature naman ng work nila ay hawak nila ang sariling oras nila. pero ang dinalahilan at sagot lang sa akin ng mommy ko, hindi daw pwede at may trabaho sila kaya ako ang pinipilit.

Problem/Goal:
hindi ko na talaga alam gagawin ko

Context:
pinastop ako magaral ng mama ko for no reason 3rd yr college na sana ako living with my grandma kaya hindi ako makapag boarding house, were barely scraping by everyday para makakain sa araw araw tapos yung only way for me to make my grandma proud is gone which is going to school at makapagtapos.
naghahanap rin ako trabaho for the meantime para matustusan lang yung pang araw araw namin kaso ang hirap dito sa pilipinas.

thankyou in advance everyone

Problem/Goal: So paano ioopen up sa partner na gusto ko magseparate ng finances? Para mas lalo akong nalulugmok, pero ginagaslight niya ako na ako ang spender palagi sa aming dalawa. Masyado kasi akong timid, mahiyain anf natatakot magsalita. Hindi ako palaban na tao.

Context: Nagkaroon kami ng trip lately and sinabi ko sakanya na ayoko bumili ng napakaming souvenir na kung ano ano siguro ilang magnets lang and keychains okay na, pero grabe na bumili siya ng mga kung ano ano umabot yata ginastos niya ng 500$. And then, finally nagkaroon na ako ng full- time ( i always give my hati before so parang lahat ng sinasahod ko noon nababayad ko sakanya kasi im earning much much lesser kesa sakanya. We live in downtown and the cost of living here is high esp sa apartment na nirerent namin, well siya naman nagdedesisyon most of the time. Now na I got a full time work na, nagpaparinig siya sa akin na magbabayad daw ng credit cards- eh ang iniisip ko, bakit siya lang din ba ang magbabayad? I pay my phone bills and train tickets din going sa work and sometimes bumibili ako ng cheap coffee sa labas like 2$ i never ask his money. Pero since i did a vacation for 2 weeks i don’t have any salary pa for that 2 weeks so short ako now. Well kahapon nagaway talaga kami kasi sobrang pagod ako sa work, ako pa magluluto. Sabi ko sakanya na never ko na naramdaman na mahal niya ako well imbes na suyuin ako wala lang. hindi pa kami makaalis alis kasi may inaasikaso kaming both na important. Minsan lagi niya ako ginuguilt trip bat daw ako bumili ng ganito ganyan and then sabi niya ibalik mo yan ha? Ireturn mo yan oh kaya ibenta ko daw mga gamit ko kasi diko naman daw nagagamit…And also please give me signs na mag iba na yung tao if living together na kayo, its so hard kasi i don’t have access sa phone niya and lagi niya dala 2nd phone niya diko din alm anong password.

Previous Attempts: triny ko na iopen up before pero lagi niya ako ginagaslight na ako daw dahilan ng downfall niya.. ako daw kasi ang spender samin… pag bumibili siya ng sarili niyang gamit wala ako lagi sinasabi pero pag bayaran na ng credit card iaano niya sakin bakit daw anlaki ng credit card. Hindi ko talaga siya kinukibo ngayon punong puno na ako..

Problem/Goal: I want to be a teacher, either a SHS teacher or a College instructor.

Context: Hi, guys! I graduated only a few months ago with a Bachelor's degree in Office Administration. Back when I started that program I told myself that I'd like to be a stenographer but that didn't pan out and I'm honestly lost.

I've always wanted to teach, connect, and inspire students but I'm not sure where to start. I'm currently working in the BPO industry and I honestly never liked being here. Idk what to do with my life atm but I really feel like being an educator is the best fit for me. How do I do it without having any degree in teaching?

I would really love some advice from educators here in this subreddit. Thanks in advance y'all!

Previous attempts: None

Problem/Goal:

How do you feel confident wearing bikinis as a flat-chested girlie with a bloated tummy? 😭

Context:

I have a lot of bikini tops na tinatali sa leeg at likod, pero I’m having trouble with the removable pads kasi parang walang pagkakapitan sa boobs ko. I feel like anytime puwedeng umangat or gumalaw yung pads, especially kapag swimming or doing beach activities.

Bloated din ako, kaya I get conscious about my tummy. I want to wear cute bikinis without always covering up with a rash guard or wearing something too conservative. I want to enjoy wearing the swimsuits I bought without feeling insecure the whole time. 🥹

Previous Attempts:

I’ve tried buying different bikini tops, pero I’m still unsure how to keep the pads in place and what styles would look flattering on my body type.

Any tips from fellow flat-chested girlies, especially those who also experience bloating? How do you keep your bikini pads from moving, and what bikini styles do you recommend?

Problem/Goal: Praning sa Rabies

Context: Last month pa po ito, September 9. Nakitulog ako sa bahay ni bf. Habang nasa kama niya, naka open window niya. May dumapo sa akin na parang bug sa parts of my neck and forehead. It was light and so small, parang medyo transparent na yong pakpak niya, I could only get a glimpse of it since I was trashing around na parang naliparan ng ipis. After that incident, I was so scared na what if paniki yun. I was aware may rabies ang paniki. Paulit-ulit ko siya tinanong kung ano ba yong lumipad sa akin dahil katabi ko siya that time nung nangyari yun at nag away pa nga kami kasi OA ko daw, tinanong ko kung paniki ba yun sabi niya it was a piece of plastik daw or gamu-gamu kasi wala naman daw paniki sa kanila. After that incident po, I check myself sa mirror talaga if may maliit ako na sugat pero wala ako nakita. Tapos days passed, tinetest ko sarili ko kung kaya ko pa uminom tubig, if di ako takot sa hangin, at nag momonitor din ako using thermometer kung may lagnat ako at lagi nasa normal temperature. Napapraning na ako. It even got to a point na sobrang stress ko nag lagas buhok ko at napanot ako. A month ago na yun pero till now, lalo na sa gabi, I would get random panic attacks tapos I would always find myself googling about it so much so na nasa top search ko lagi siya pag pupunta ka sa Google ko at parang threads na sa sobrang haba ng mga tanong ko about doon. Tinanong ko si Google kung possible ba na nakagat ako ng paniki na may puting pakpak, na kasing liit ng paru-paro tapos magaan. Sabi ni Google, hindi daw kasi di naman daw transparent naman pakpak ng paniki, opaque siya at kahit maliit siya may weight pa rin siya kasi mammal nga daw at makakaramdam daw ako ng sting if ever kinagat or mararamdaman ko daw yun kasi I was fully awake naman daw that time pero kasi I've also read na you can not mostly feel it kung nakagat ka.

I'm posting this kasi ano ba dapat gawin ko. Feeling ko dahil dito may health anxiety na ako. Feeling ko OA lang din ako pero till now I'm still thinking about it even though sinasabi ko sa sarili wala lang talaga yun at praning lang ako. I'm considering mag pakalmot sa pusa ko rn para lang may reason ako mag pa vaccine shot kaso baka ikapraning ko nanaman. I think kasi baka pag sinabi ko sa professional to baka pag tawanan ako kasi parang tanga talaga yong dahilan ko pero grabe na anxiety ko dito minsan di na makatulog sa bigat ng dibdib ko. Sorry sa long post pero should I get worried? What should I do?

Also po, after this happened, if something aches sa body ko I would immediately think it's either rabies or cancer. I think because of this I really did develop hyphocondria. It's affecting my life but at the same time I'm trying to hold it together po and sinabi pa nga ni Google mismo health anxiety na to. Pero what can give me peace of mind po? Again sorry for this long post I didn't really intended to would delete nalang pag nilait ako🥹

Problem/Goal: Nagtitinda ako ng mga toys sa palengke and meron akong maliit na pinagppwestuhan. Gusto ko ng ma-solo yung space at cart ko since nakipwesto lang naman sakin yung relative ko.

Context: Simula pandemic nagne-negosyo na talaga ako. Nag stop lang yung online business ko kasi nagwork ako sa bpo for almost three years. Now, buntis at nag resign ako sa work. During first trimester ko, kinakapos kami sa budget at nagbalik loob ako mag business pero this time may pinagppwestuhan na ako ng mga paninda ko. Nagtitinda ako ng mga nauusong toys at sa awa ng Diyos sobrang big help ng pagtitinda ko sa financial namin. Ito na nga, may relative akong naisip din mag business ng jewelry sa online kaso di pumatok kaya nag paalam siya sakin kung pwede nya ipwesto ung paninda nya sa cart ko. Pumayag naman ako kasi akala ko temporary lang hanggang sa halos one month na syang nakikipwesto sakin. So, ang set up meron akong trolley cart at ilaw (take note ako lahat gumastos ng paglalagyan ng paninda ko) yung trolley ko may 4-layers, sakanya ang first layer tas sakin yung tatlong layer sa baba. Sa gabi pag isasabit na yung ilaw sa trolley, sakanya lang yung naiilawan habang yung paninda ko hindi. Yung mga customers ko rin yumuyuko na lang pag gustong bumili. Since tatlong layers lang sakin at malalaki paninda ko, dati 8-10 boxes na napapamalengke ko nung solo lang ako tas ngayon max na ang 6 boxes kasi limited lang space ko.

Previous attempt: Humingi ako advice sa hubby at mother ko. Si hubby, gusto nyang kausapin ko yung relative namin kasi naaawa sya sakin kasi nag eenjoy ako sa ginagawa kong pagtitinda ng solo lang sana. While, yung mother ko napansin din na unfair sa mga paninda ko yung setup namin kaso lagi nyang iniisip na baka sumama yung loob ng relative namin. Kaso paano naman akong buntis na gusto lang kumita, required na iset aside yung nararamdaman para sa relative lang 🥲. Hindi naman ako worried kung kikita o hindi yung relative ko since taga ibang barangay sya at namention nyang may space na pwede mag tinda don sa tabing store ng lola ng partner nya. Gusto ko lang sana na kanya kanya kaming diskarte kasi kahit sa pamamalengke namin ako ang nag aadjust pumunta sa barangay nila para lang sabay kaming makasakay papunta sa pinagbibilhan namin ng mga paninda.

Ang hirap pag palaging ako yung nag aadjust para sa feelings ng iba. Pahingi naman po ako ng advice nyo paano ko iaapproach yung relative namin ng di nao-offend 😢

Problem/Goal: F24 here, I feel like I'm losing my spark in the field of my expertise. Currently working in a food industry as a quality control. Company is a household name. I'm an eldest and most of us knew that economy is spiraling down, here and there.

Context: As one of the leader and nagmamanage ng production namin, I need to maintain my professionalism and I won't lie if I longed for a circle that I can lean unto. Tho of course hindi naman sa lahat ng pagkakataon at work places makakahanap ng genuine connection.

Going back, yes I'm losing my spark and willing to do other job that pays well. Kasi kahit above minimum kami, kulang na kulang pang-provide palang sa pamilya. Most of the time, allowances nalang ang natitira.

For the peeps na on the other side out of their passion, how did you have the courage?

Problem/Goal: I have a boyfriend for over 5 months now, he’s my first boyfriend and been known each other for more than a year na. The problem is he’s having no hope on me that ill change. I have done wrong things from the past (not telling him everything that happens to me) and thats what bothering him na maybe in the future ill keep filtering and hiding sa kanya para lang makeep yung good status ng relationship and ill admit naman kasalanan ko bakit ganito yung situation namin ngayon. The only thing na gusto nya is maging deep yung love na pinapakita ko sa kanya. I wanted to seek advice on how you guys shows love and affection to your partner. I thought kasi nagagawa ko nang tama yung pagiging girlfriend ko sa kanya but all of the sudden he feels hopeless na sa’kin and ngayon nahihirapan ako kasi nafifeel ko he’s about to end our relationship anytime.

ps. I never cheated po but at some point he’s thinking that I did