Problem/Goal:
Hello po. 1st time ko po mag post sorry.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman sa ngayon. My mother is currently confined in the hospital, and honestly, emotionally drained na drained na po ako.

Context: Nang tawagin ako ng doctor at ipinaliwanag sa akin ang mga resulta ng tests niya, sobrang nabigla ako. Hindi ko akalaing ganito na pala kalala ang sitwasyon niya. Twelve years ago, she survived cancer and was declared cancer-free. Pero ngayon, nalaman ko na may bukol pala siya sa dibdib na halos kasinlaki na ng kamao ko. Yes Tinago nya sa amin yon. 😣 Ayon sa doctor, posibleng Stage 4 na raw. Naninilaw na rin ang kanyang balat at mga mata, at lumalabas na pati ang liver nya ay may problema na rin.

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako huhugot ng lakas. Ang sakit-sakit malaman ng lahat ng ito, lalo na’t hindi ko pa kayang sabihin sa kanya ang mga resulta. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan o kung paano ko haharapin ang sitwasyong ito.

Bukas na rin ang Mass church wedding namin. Second wedding na ito dahil sa judge lang kami ikinasal noong una ng Husband ko. Pero ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung dapat ko pa bang ituloy. Natatakot ako. Natatakot akong baka hindi ko siya maabutan.

Previous Attempt:
Dati po sa PGH sya nag pagaling, pero sobrang hirap na daw po makapasok ngayon.
Sa mga may experience po sa ganitong sitwasyon, saan po kaya magandang hospital na may magaling na oncologist at kayang mag-asikaso ng cancer patient, lalo na kung may problema na rin sa liver? Kahit sobrang dami ko din financially problem, Gusto ko po siyang maipagamot at mabigyan pa ng pagkakataon.

Maraming salamat po sa sinumang makakapagbigay ng recommendations, impormasyon, at dasal para sa nanay ko. 🙏❤️

Problem/Goal: Nag-uusap kase kami ng bf ko sa phone tapos bigla ko natanong kung anong tinatawag sa kanya ng bunso n'yang kapatid tapos sabi n'ya "kuya" Eh sabi ko minsan kase pag nandon ako sakanila tinatawag s'ya ng "man" Tapos sabi n'ya "minsan man, minsan kuya" Tapos dagdag ko pa e pa'no kapag tinawag kana lang n'ya na "Josh" Short for Joshua (name n'ya) aba sabi ba nmn eh "ano ako monggoloid kapatid ni bimby" And that thing feels off for me napuna ko s'ya ron at sinabi ko na "hindi magandang biro yan, mino-mock mo pwd, mocker kana rin ba ng pwd ha" Tapos sabi ko pa na insensitive yung ganoon na biro, sabi nmn n'ya "ayon kase lumalabas sa feed ko" Sabay sabi ko nmn na "pa'no kapag nagkaanak ka ng pwd tapos maririnig mo sasabihin ng ibang tao na 'ano ako monggoloid kagaya ng anak ni Joshua' diba hindi ka nmn din matutuwa" After kong sabihin yun sinabihan n'ya ako na pinapalaki ko raw eh ang akin lang nmn e wag sanang ganon very insensitive tapos nagalit na s'ya sakin.

Pinaka ayaw ko kase talaga mga insensitive jokes gaya ng mga yan at tsaka body shamer or someone who make jokes out of different insecurities, kase you are lucky enough to not experience any of that and you don't know how people with that handles it, so might as well be careful kase baka para sa'yo wala lang yun pero sa tao na yon gosh we don't know.

Problem/Goal: Is my friend too prideful for not wanting to settle for less just because their family didn't plan for their future?

Context: Someone recently told me that they don't want to go to a State Uni because they prefer a campus with much more comfortable facilities(libraries, computer lab, cafeteria, and bathrooms) and that they don't feel like they should settle for less since it's not their fault why their parents couldn't send them to even a half decent university and because their parents didn't do family planning.

Previous attempt: No judgement from me. I think everyone has the right to choose a school or Uni they're comfortable with. College is pretty already stressful. It'd be more stressful and draining if it has unmaintained and uncomfortable facilities.

Problem/Goal: I saw this comment from another sub post and I want to know if you all exprince it as well? and how to deal with it?

context: I used to wonder why people would get so attached to someone to the point na ginagawa nilang mundo yung tao. But when I had my boyfriend (now my ex, unfortunately), at first, I was still able to do other things naman since I was studying and working, so I wasn't really dependent on him.

Pero when I graduated and started working from home (WFH), I didn't realize na unti-unti na pala siyang naging mundo ko. Since gigising ako, I'd do my personal routine sa bahay, then we'd talk, work, sleep, and the next day, ganoon na naman. Kapag rest day, magkikita kami.

Hanggang sa hindi ko na namalayan na work and boyfriend na lang pala yung focus ko. Wala rin akong hobbies since bawal ako sa mga activities na kailangan ng leg work. Nawala rin yung hobby ko na magbasa kasi I started experiencing a reading slump.

And now that we're broken up, para na akong baliw, and it feels unbearable kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko or saan ako magsisimula ulit.

Hayyy, ang hirap talaga.

Problem/Goal: Vent out ko lang yung pagod at frustration na nararamdaman ko sa live in partner ko.

Context:

Napapagod na ako sundan yung mga kalat niya. Nakakapagod na maglinis, bago matulog at paggising. Tuwing gigising ako ang unang papasok sa isip ko, “haaay kalat na naman”

Yung mga baso na ginamit niya sa water ar coffee iniiwan lang sa table, e nilalanggam nga. Sabi ko kung ‘di niya kayang hugasan agad, at least ilagay niya sa lababo.

Yung balat ng snacks na kinakain niya during work hours (wfh siya) nasa lamesa lang din at nilalanggam, yung iba nahuhulog pa sa ilalim ng table na nagko-cause naman sa pagdalaw ng mga ipis.

Yung labahin na hinubad hindi mailagay sa tamang lagayan pati yung sapatos.

Yung plato na pinagkainan at kawali na ginamit, nasa lababo lang nang ilang oras at hindi man lang mahugasan. Ako lagi, halos ako lahat.

Napapagod na ako, tapos one time sumabog na ako, may audacity pa siya to asked me saan daw ako napapagod. Walang remorse, just now umiiyak ako asking him kung tutulungan ba niya ako kasi ang kalat, ‘di okay pakiramdam ko, first mens ko ngayon at may food business kami na nag-ooperate sa gabi and most of them ako gumagawa. Tinutulungan niya ako pero sasakit muna yung ulo ko sa paulit-ulit na pag-ask ng help niya. Sobrang nakakapagod at nakaka-drain na.

Sobrang frustrated ako ngayon, nagpasundo ako sa bf ng Ate ko. Hindi ako makaalis dito sa lugar nila kasi nandito yung business namin at sobrang layo ng lugar na inuuwian ko at ang hassle ng magiging set-up kung sa bahay namin ako magpi-prepare pero at least doon katulong ko yung Mama ko, pero dito? Sobrang nakakasama ng loob.

Sobrang dami ko ng resentment sa kaniya to the point na kapag ‘di ko na kayang i-handle yung pangto-torture niya sa akin mentally and emotionally gumaganti na ako physically and verbally.

‘Di ko alam, pagod na ako. Naghahanap ako ng apartment near sa place pero takot ako mag-isa but I know I can do it alone. I’m just scared na tumira sa lugar na hindi ako pamilyar nang ako lang mag-isa pero I do really want to escape this kind of life whenever I am with him.

Please, I need your advices. I’m F25, thank you.

Previous Attempts: Ilang beses ko na siyang kinakausap about sa mga kalat niya, na nag-ooffer din ako ng better option kung paano kahit konti mapapadali yung paglilinis ko.

‘Di kasi ako sanay sa makalat na lugar and in-address ko na sa kaniya ‘yon pero walang nangyayari, puro labg siya oo pero walang progress or improvement man lang.

Problem/Goal: I (29F) have a bf (29M) for 8 month. In person, mas may substance kausap pero sa chat, ang dry nya kausap. Nakakapagod na. Ayoko sya iwan dahil kita ko naman na nagtatry sya. Meron ba kayong masusuggest to improve sa part ko at part nya?

Context: 8 months na kami. We are in LDR but first 2 months namin, we are dating physically. He is really attractive and funny. Kaya nasabi ko na okay naman sya and decided to commit. I travel for work so we see each other once and twice lang a month. Sya naman, he works in public service so you could say na he has a lot of time ofc except during rescue and emergency. We both love to play video games kaya siguro nagclick din kami. Pag magkalayo kami at off nya sa work, magkalaro kami sa pc. Sya din nag iinitiate at nag iisip ng mga lalaruin namin. Ang problema namin pag wala na kami sa pc or pag hindi kami magkasama, dun ko nanonotice na sobrang dry nya kausap. Pag magkavideo call kami, palagi syang nagscroll sa fb habang magkausap kami. Never din sya nangamusta kung anong nanngyare sa work ko. Palagi kelangan ko pa sya icall out or mag initiate magkwento ng mga nangyari sakin.

Attempts: 1 week ago, umiyak ako sa kanya ng sobra sa video call dahil sobrang nadedrain na ako sa ganong setup. Tbh, kita ko talaga na nagtatry sya kaya lang hindi mo talaga mapipilit agad sa tao na maging something na hindi naman talaga sya. Napaiyak at nalungkot din sya dahil ayaw nya raw ako nagkakaganon. So when I had my layover sa pinas fee days ago, he gave me flowers and cake at nagsosorry sya sa mga bagay na nagawa nya sa akin at mga bagay na hindi niya nagagawa. He asked for a chance and promised me na iimprove nya lahat.

Problem/Goal: This is not that big of a problem, but I really want to take my study habit to the next level.

Context: Hello! I’m currently a Psychology student at NU. The academic pacing at my university is really fast, although I have nothing against it, but sometimes I feel like it is a contributing factor to why I can’t give my “100%” to reviewing. We have quizzes everyday, making me feel so compressed with so many things to learn the day before.

Also, I have this unusual thing about me that when night comes, I automatically feel sleepy regardless if I have enough sleep or not. It is most evident when I’m trying to work out my brain (because of studying). My sleep schedule is regular, that’s why it makes me think why my body acts this way.

Previous Attempts: I tried techniques such as Pomodoro and blasting loud music to stimulate myself. They worked at first but eventually, they all boiled down to being “partially” unsuccessful because of how sleepy I am most of the time. I really want to improve my studying habits (or maybe my body idk) to excel better.

Problem/Goal: I need to vent because I’m honestly exhausted with my living situation, and I’d appreciate some advice from people who’ve dealt with difficult roommates.

Context: I’ve been sharing my apartment with a schoolmate for almost 10 months. We’re in the same circle of friends, and I was the one who invited her to live with me because I was living alone and thought it would be nice to share the expenses.

I don’t mind having visitors occasionally, but I didn’t expect her boyfriend to come over almost every week and stay for how many days at a time.

The thing is, we share a common bathroom and kitchen, so having another person around that frequently affects my privacy and comfort. I can’t even relax downstairs when they’re both there.
It’s awkward for me to come out of the bathroom wearing just a towel or lounge around without a bra in my own home because her boyfriend is downstairs. He’s not my relative, and I’m simply not comfortable being around him in those situations. I end up feeling like I have to be conscious of what I’m wearing and how I move around my own apartment.

I also found out that my roommate had a duplicate key made without informing me or our landlady. Her boyfriend comes into the apartment without even greeting me, which I find disrespectful.

On top of that, she doesn’t clean regularly, and I’m constantly stressed about the mess and our utility bills. We still split the expenses between the two of us, even though her boyfriend stays here several days a week. I’m at work most of the time and basically just come home to sleep.

I’ve reached my limit. I want her to move out by next month because I genuinely want my home and privacy back.

But here’s where I’m struggling: she’s older than me, we’re friends, and we share the same social circle. I’m an introvert who hates confrontation, and I’m scared she’ll get angry or tell our mutual friends that I’m a bad person. She previously had problems with another roommate and talked about how mean that person supposedly was, so I’m worried the same thing will happen to me.
I want to feel comfortable in my own home again.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting her to move out? How would you approach this situation without creating unnecessary drama?

I’d especially appreciate advice from people who’ve had to ask a friend or roommate to move out. How do you deal with the guilt and the fear of being painted as the bad person afterward?

Problem/Goal: My husband and are newly weds we just got married last May. Even before we got married we already have arguments about money. For context he’s 43 yrs old, American and doesn’t have a steady income. He relies solely on inheritance that his parents left him and does side jobs like construction. He does day trading sometimes but loses money all the time. He always wanted to travel and everytime he goes here he says he get bored in the city. I’m 33 and I’m an architect but freelance slowly trying to grow my business. I have clients and earn a lot from projects but of course it’s not a steady income. Sometimes may projects, sometimes wala. So everytime we would travel lagi niya sakin sinusumbat yung gastos niya. I was transparent with him from the start that the travels and all I can’t shell out much. Hello of course you earn dollars and spend dollars in asia is different with spending pesos. Sometimes he would say that it’s okay and would be the one to spend pero that comes with a lot of sumbat.

Context: Fast forward now that we’re married the problem is I am scheduled for a Cranial MRI for a suspected case of Brain Aneurysm. Husband doesn’t want to pay for it because he doesn’t have money now. He even got mad and said why can’t I ask from my family and told him na “of course they’re gonna ask me why am I not asking from you”. He got mad when I said na I’m basically he’s responsibility now and got more mad when he i told him why I can’t tell my family about it. He said na I’m putting pressure on him and is annoyed that everyone is expecting so much from him. That’s when he said he didn’t sign up to be a provider. Then he keeps telling me na IT’S A CULTURE THING. Magkaiba daw talaga culture ng US and Philippines pag dating sa marriage. Basically bahala ako sa buhay ko.

I’m not earning much now because my projects are all almost done. We got a condo for rent that i told him I can’t pay half for that amount and said siya bahala when low and behold he got mad na I can’t pay it.

Previous Attempt: I’m so stressed right now and annoyed kasi i thought I have a partner in life, someone who I can run to. Pero I’m alone pala. I want to ask advice if valid ba naffeel ko or am I just not being a good partner? Ganun ba talaga sa US?

Problem/goal: I just really need to get this off my chest because until now, I still can’t believe how everything ended. My ex and I were together for almost 5 years. We would’ve celebrated our 5th anniversary this coming January, but we broke up right after our daughter’s birthday. For context, our relationship was never perfect. We went through so much together, and honestly, ang dami na niyang nagawang kasalanan sa akin. When we were only 2 years into our relationship, he cheated on me not once, not twice, but FOUR TIMES.

I know. I know some people will probably judge me for staying, and I’m already expecting comments asking why I didn’t leave the first time.

But please understand that we have a child together. I grew up knowing what it’s like to have separated parents, and I never wanted my daughter to experience the same thing. I wanted her to grow up with a complete family, even if that meant giving someone more chances than they deserved.

Fast forward to this year, our relationship started falling apart. Ang dami naming unresolved issues, and whenever we had problems, we never really sat down and talked about them properly. He was busy because he was a graduating student, and I didn’t want to add more stress to his life. So most of the time, I just kept everything to myself.
During his last year in college, he became close with a group of girls. At first, I honestly had no problem with them. He introduced them to me, and they were actually nice to me in the beginning.

But eventually, I discovered something that completely changed how I saw them.

One time, he left his Messenger account open on his laptop. And that’s when I saw conversations about him asking to be set up with another girl from their circle.

YES. MY OWN BOYFRIEND WAS ASKING HIS FRIENDS TO SET HIM UP WITH ANOTHER GIRL WHILE WE WERE STILL TOGETHER.

And the worst part? Those girls knew about me. They knew he was in a relationship and that we had a daughter together.
I honestly couldn’t understand how they could entertain something like that knowing he already had a family.
Around that time, I also found out through my old friends that he had been going out with those girls several times.
And here’s the ironic part.

Those were the same friends my ex previously asked me to cut off because they kept telling me whenever he was doing something behind my back. They were also the people who had exposed his previous cheating incidents.
Looking back, I honestly regret cutting them off.
And you know what hurts the most?

During those same days, I had been asking him to go out with me. Kahit simpleng date lang, because we barely spent time together anymore. We weren’t living together because I personally didn’t want to live at his parents’ house, so seeing each other regularly was already difficult.

Whenever I asked him out, he would always say he was busy or didn’t have money.

But apparently, he had time to go out with his girl friends.
Of course, we had a huge fight about it. Eventually, we made up, but honestly, nothing was really resolved.
Then came his graduation.

He told me that only two people were allowed to attend, so our daughter and I didn’t go. I was completely fine with that because I wanted his parents to have that moment with him. After all, they supported him throughout college.

Later, some of my old friends invited me to their graduation party, so I decided to attend.

And that’s when I found out something else.HE BOUGHT ALL FOUR OF THOSE GIRLS BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS.

Yes. FOUR bouquets.

I was honestly speechless. This was the same guy who constantly told me he didn’t have money whenever I asked him to go on a date with me.But somehow, he had enough money to buy flowers for four other girls? I’m not even saying that giving flowers to friends is automatically wrong. It’s the fact that he could make that kind of effort for other women while constantly making excuses whenever it came to me.
And to make things worse, he found out I attended my old classmates’ graduation party because he saw me in someone’s story.

He messaged me about it because those were the same friends he had told me to stay away from. The audacity, right?

So I confronted him about everything. The girls, the flowers, the times he went out with them, and how unfairly I felt I was being treated. We had another huge argument. At that point, I genuinely wanted to break up with him. I was so tired of feeling disrespected and constantly questioning my place in his life.

But there was one problem. **The next day was our daughter’s birthday.**We had already planned a celebration for her at his parents’ house, and I didn’t want our issues to ruin her special day.

So once again, I swallowed my feelings. We acted like everything was okay, even though he never really explained anything to me.

Then came the birthday party.I honestly didn’t even want to push through with it anymore because of how hurt I was. But I reminded myself that the celebration was for our daughter, not for us.So I showed up, smiled, and tried my best to enjoy the day. And guess who else was there? Yup. Almost all of those girls. What made everything worse was that they didn’t even bother greeting me. They literally walked past me as if I didn’t exist. These were the same girls who used to act nice around me. And my ex? Instead of making me feel comfortable, he kept them somewhere off to the side of the house, away from where I could easily see them.
I don’t even know what he was trying to accomplish by doing that.

Then those girls gave our daughter a small bouquet of flowers as a birthday gift. And I swear, seeing that bouquet brought back everything I had been trying so hard to suppress. I know my daughter had nothing to do with any of this, and I appreciated that they brought her a gift. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how my ex could buy flowers for those girls while making me feel like asking him for a simple date was already too much. The entire party, we acted like a normal, happy couple. You wouldn’t even think we had serious relationship problems.

After the celebration, his parents were wondering why our daughter and I weren’t staying at their house.
But I just wanted to go home.
My ex drove us back to my place, where our daughter and I lived. I genuinely thought that once we were alone, we would finally talk about everything that happened.
But we didn’t. And then, the following day, something happened that I honestly never expected.

HE BROKE UP WITH ME.

Yes. HE was the one who ended our relationship.
I was completely shocked. Not because I didn’t want to break up. In fact, I had already been thinking about leaving him. But after everything he had done, the cheating, the disrespect, the lies, and all the times I had forgiven him, somehow HE was the one who decided to walk away?
I know it sounds ridiculous, but part of me felt insulted.
Parang ako pa yung may kasalanan sa lahat. After everything I endured just to keep our family together, he was the one who gave up. And the most painful part was realizing that I had spent years trying to save a relationship that he could apparently walk away from just like that. For once, though, I didn’t chase him.

A few days after our breakup, his mom messaged me asking when our daughter and I would visit them again.
I didn’t reply. I know some people might think that was wrong because his parents weren’t necessarily involved in our relationship problems. But at that point, I was so hurt and angry that I didn’t want to deal with anyone connected to him. A part of me also felt like they would naturally side with their son anyway.

A few weeks later, I found out that his mom had blocked me.
And honestly, that hurt too. I don’t even know why she did it. Sometimes I wonder if my ex told them a completely different version of what happened, making it seem like I was the bad person in our relationship. But I don’t know for sure, and I don’t want to assume.

It’s been a month since we broke up. And although I’ve finally started accepting that we’re no longer together, I still have moments when I question everything. I keep thinking about how much I tolerated, how many times I forgave him, and how I kept choosing our family even when I was already hurting. I know staying after being cheated on multiple times was my decision. I’m not trying to justify it. I just genuinely believed that keeping our family together was the best thing I could do for our daughter. But now I’m slowly realizing that maybe having separated parents isn’t the worst thing that could happen to a child.

Maybe growing up watching her mother constantly get hurt and disrespected would’ve been worse.I don’t regret having my daughter with him. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. But I do regret losing so much of myself trying to keep someone who repeatedly showed me that he couldn’t love me the way I deserved. And what hurts the most is that after everything, I feel like I’m the one who ended up looking pathetic, while he got to walk away like nothing happened. I’m trying to move forward now, not just for myself but especially for my daughter.

I just hope that one day, I’ll stop wondering why I wasn’t enough for someone I gave almost five years of my life to.
For those who stayed in a relationship because you wanted to keep your family together, how did you finally learn to let go?

Problem/Goal: both roman catholic kami ng tatay ko but na totoxican ako minsan sa way nya para controlin kami. Di ko maexpress yung beliefs ko kasi mabilis syang magalit or tumaas boses kasi daw di kami sumusunod even tho legal age na kami(21M)

Context: May mga simpleng bagay ako na ginagawa na cinocall out ng tatay ko like pagtali ng buhok. Binabantaan ako if ever makita ako nakatali daw ang buhok ko sa labas. I asked him kung may meaning yun kasi nga for me parang wala naman. Naaasar lang ako kasi wala akong palag since ayoko sumagot. Gusto nya sumusunod kami. May times din na nadadamay circle of friends ko like natutunan ko daw yung mga bagay o paraan n ginagawa ko kasi daw sa circle ko daw. I have gf din naman and mom ko but never sila mag control ng ganyan. Iniiwasan ko lang din baka may time n isisi nya yung mga bagay n ganyan sa gf ko or friends. Napapaisip nga ako eh, kasi sobrang religious talaga nila like active sa churches but at the same time, napapaisip din ako if yung tinuturo ng religion nayan is naapply ba kasi who are we to judge diba? Tinuturo yan sa simbahan na tanging diyos lang ang makakapagjudge. Nasasakal ako kasi di ko maexpress sarili ko sa lahat ng bagay and nanghihina na rin yung faith ko sa religion ko.

Problem/goal: Should I tell him about my past mistake in my present?

Context: Hi, 28(f) here, I’m getting to know someone right now, 24(M), we’ve been exclusively dating for a month. I have a problem, my past is that I used to be a mistress but I stopped a long time ago. Should I tell the guy about my past? It feels like it's too soon to bring it up. I don't know what to do, I'm scared.

Attempt: We've only been talking for about 2 weeks, I tried to bring it up slowly with him but I feel like something's holding me back.

Problem/Goal: I am currently at the top bunk bed and I want to switch to the lower bunk bed (my original bed) but I do not know how to tell my roommate.

Context: My roommate got into a badminton injury which injured her knees so she had to switch beds with me for the meantime. We are living in a shared room and sleeping in a bunk bed. When we switched beds she was already close to recovery, she told me that the doctor advised her to switch beds cause she isn't allowed to climb the stairs. Right now she can drive na and she can hang out with her friends already, plus she can commute using LRT na otw to work, so I am thinking of getting back to my old bed since I really feel uncomfy. I don't know the proper way to approach her, baka sabihin naman nya di pa rin pwede. I just want to say it in a way na di sya pwede magdahilan.

Previous Attempts: None yet.

Thank you in advance sa sasagot.

Problem/Goal: Ituloy ba ang construction despite my husband’s hate towards his mom?

Context: Last month, lumipat nakami sa rent to own namin. Okay na lahat like finish na. Pero kailangan namin ng dirty kitchen, laundry area, garage, and fence. I think we have enough funds for it naman but not too much na kaya naming kumuha ng contractor. I believe we really need the renovation because 6 months pregnant ako and it’s gonna get harder from now on na. Currently, nagluluto kami sa loob pero with restrictions, di lahat pwede iluto since we want to preserve the house. Also, nagpapalaundry muna kami once a week.

My father in law is a construction worker and he showed interest na sya bahala, kukuha nalang din sya ng kasama.

However, my husband, dislikes his mother because of her attitude. Since he graduated from college, her mom kept on pressuring him to work agad kasi binigay sa kanya responsibility ng pagpapa-aral sa mga kapatid nya. Di din sya totally lumaki sa parents nya at tito nya nagpa-aral sa kanya. Over the years, their relationship didn’t get better, pag may need sila like hospital bills, asawa ko din sumasalo and she’s not honest about the money. Basically, pag nanay nya pinag uusapan, nawawalan sya ng peace of mind.

What do you think should we do? Mag proceed ba kami despite my husband’s feelings? He’s also torn. He wants peace but then, iniisip din nya yung gastos.

Previous Attempts: wala pa.

Problem/Goal: I can't afford therapy not even a over the counter melatonin can knock me out.

I've been awake for days on end and just breaking down everyday hoping that I will survive another day because I don't wanna leave my partner and friends.

Everything is just coming at me all once and I'm exhausted but still trying my best to be okay.

I did all the coping mechanism that I usually do but nothing really works for me I searched google but it's just a messy suggestion.

I'm in desperate need of help. Because I've come so far and I don't want this to be the end.

Problem/Goal: got asked this on a date and couldn’t really answer well

Context: remembered an incident wherein i (25f) went on a date with an older guy (mid 30s) for dinner, it was alright at first but then he suddenly asked “what do you bring to the table?”

it was my first time hearing that so i was a little confused and asked what he meant by that, he said he will be providing everything from finances and whatnot, so what can i offer to him in return? it seemed to me that he had everything so i told him well companionship - i’m a loyal partner, i give my best to my loved ones and no doubt that i would try my hardest to keep the relationship strong

he then went on about how that’s not enough, long story short, it ended without us communicating again - just made me wonder how i can answer it for next time?

i have my own job and provide for myself and give to my family, very much independent, and i like to look my best and stay active

Edit: for added context, it was our first date and he took me to a small tapa resto just a casual dinner

he asked about having children, i said i didn’t want to think about it yet because i want to have a good career first

he said it was a missed opportunity for me because it’s the prime age for me to get pregnant, i asked him why he wanted kids and he said he wants his legacy to live on - he’s a businessman daw

then i told him that there were so many complications during pregnancies and it wasn’t easy, that’s when our dinner ended because he kept interjecting that having kids are important as a woman

Problem/Goal: Just wanted to ask for advice from fellow employers and even kasambahays regarding salary, workload, and setting expectations. My husband and I are planning to revisit our current arrangement with our kasambahay, and I want to know if we’re being reasonable or expecting too much.

Context: We live in a 150 sqm, 3-bedroom condo. It’s just the two of us plus our small dog. Our kasambahay has been with us for almost 5 months, and her current salary is 10K/month.

Here’s our current setup:
- Stay-in, with her own bedroom. We also allow her to sleep in our guest room whenever we don’t have visitors.
- Free toiletries, food, and other basic necessities.
- She goes home every two weeks with two nights off.
- We shoulder her transportation expenses separately. I even book her Grab going to the MRT station para convenient for her.
- We consider her food preferences when buying groceries. My husband and I prefer healthy food, but since she’s quite selective with what she eats, we make sure she has food she likes stocked in the fridge.
- We don’t mind her eating our snacks and chocolates, although sometimes nagugulat na lang kami na almost ubos na pala, or packaging na lang natira.

As for her workload, to be fair, malinis naman siya sa condo. We don’t have major complaints about the cleanliness itself.

However, we’ve noticed that she tends to spread the household chores throughout the week, even when some tasks could probably be done more frequently. We feel like the routine could be more efficient and consistent.

Also, we still do quite a lot of things ourselves.

I still wash the dishes. We don’t ask her to cook because she only knows how to fry food. For our dog, kami pa rin usually ang nagpapakain, nagpapalit ng water and pee pads, naglilinis ng bowls, and nagpapaligo. We only ask her to take care of our dog occasionally kapag both kami maagang aalis or late makakauwi. Even walking our dog isn’t regular unless we specifically ask her.

For laundry, she also uses our washing machine weekly for her personal clothes, sometimes doing 2–3 separate cycles because she follows how we segregate our own clothes. We don’t necessarily mind, but we’re also trying to be more mindful of electricity and water consumption.

Basically, I think we’ve been quite flexible with our arrangement, but after almost 5 months, we’re realizing that we probably should’ve established clearer expectations from the beginning.

We’re considering increasing her salary to 12.5K/month, with mandatory government benefits properly arranged. Her legally required employee contributions would come from her gross salary, while we’ll shoulder our employer contributions separately.

At the same time, we want to sit down with her and establish a more detailed household schedule. This would include daily, weekly, and biweekly cleaning tasks, regular dog care, and cooking simple meals around 3 times a week. We’re willing to teach her how to cook and provide recipes since she doesn’t really know how yet.

We’re also planning to be more particular about household routines, supplies, laundry, and tasks that should be done without us constantly reminding her.

Our proposed schedule is:
7:30 AM–12 NN: Morning duties
12 NN–4:30 PM: Rest/break
4:30 PM–9 PM: Evening duties

That’s 9 hours of scheduled duties, with a 4.5-hour break in between. Of course, if she finishes her tasks early, she can rest na. We don’t expect her to work continuously just to fill the time, and we intend to make sure her working hours and rest periods comply with the Kasambahay Law.

Her two-night home leave every two weeks and transportation allowance will remain.

Previous Attempts: None

For those who employ stay-in kasambahays, especially in Metro Manila, do you think 12.5K is reasonable for this setup?

Is it fair to introduce additional responsibilities like cooking 3 times a week and regular dog care, considering we only have two adults and one small dog in the household?

Also, how strict are you with household schedules? Do you provide detailed checklists for daily, weekly, and biweekly tasks, or do you just let your kasambahay manage her own time? We’re not expecting perfection, and we genuinely want to be fair with compensation and rest. But we also want consistency and initiative, especially with recurring tasks that ideally shouldn’t require constant reminders.

Would really appreciate advice on how to approach this conversation without making her feel like we’re suddenly being too demanding. We want to establish a system that’s fair for both parties.

Thank you!

Problem/Goal: I declutter some of our electronic stuffs. Like old wire, sirang pbank, sirang adaptor basta lahat ng mga related sa electronic. Ksi nakita ko sa SM na merong e-waste bin don pero nawala na sila sa cyber zone. Kakaloka! Ask ko lang san ba to pwde idispose? Kung kelan napag sama sama ko na lahat ng basura biglang wla naman na sa mall. Even sa Robinson wala din eh. Nakakaloka namam kelamgan pahabain uung teks hahaha

Problem/Goal:

(Not sure about the flair sorry)

I'm looking for places na may group activities since my friends and I will celebrate our friend's bday. Looking for a place sana na accessible lang via MRT and LRT2.

Context:

We'll celebrate our friend's bday this weekend and gusto ko sana prepared na kung san kami pupunta tsaka ano gagawin para di masayang oras namin na magpilian on the day itself. Hindi pala gala mga friends ko, so me and my sis ang nagssuggest talaga ng places and activities to do.

Previous Attempts:

School namin malapit sa Cubao so naghang out na kami nang ilang beses dito, and tbh araw-araw ako nasa Araneta so sawa na talaga ako dito 😂.

I've taken them to SM North and Trinoma dati, and mostly arcades talaga kami naghhangout kaso huling hangout namin nag timezone na kami sa trinoma so ayoko na sana dalhin uli sila dun.

I've wanted to try SM North uli kasi may escape room, tsaka may board games akong nakita dati. They seemed interested sa escape room din kaya naisipan ko dun. Problem ko sa SM North is madaming tao every weekend and nakakaoverwhelm lang sa amin, and baka mahaba pila.

Other places I want to take them are Greenhills and SM Megamall. Di pa sila nakakapunta sa Greenhills kaso chineck ko pwede gawin dun, stuffed toy making tsaka go kart lang. I don't think they'd enjoy the former, and as for the latter naman ilang beses na rin kami nag go kart. Idk if may iba pang activities sa Greenhills pero yun lumalabas lagi pag sinesearch ko sa tiktok.my friends and I will celebrate our friend's bday. Looking for a place sana na accessible lang via MRT and LRT2.

Context:

We'll celebrate our friend's bday this weekend and gusto ko sana prepared na kung san kami pupunta tsaka ano gagawin para di masayang oras namin na magpilian on the day itself. Hindi pala gala mga friends ko, so me and my sis ang nagssuggest talaga ng places and activities to do.

Previous Attempts:

School namin malapit sa Cubao so naghang out na kami nang ilang beses dito, and tbh araw-araw ako nasa Araneta so sawa na talaga ako dito 😂.

I've taken them to SM North and Trinoma dati, and mostly arcades talaga kami naghhangout kaso huling hangout namin nag timezone na kami sa trinoma so ayoko na sana dalhin uli sila dun.

I've wanted to try SM North uli kasi may escape room, tsaka may board games akong nakita dati. They seemed interested sa escape room din kaya naisipan ko dun. Problem ko sa SM North is madaming tao every weekend and nakakaoverwhelm lang sa amin, and baka mahaba pila.

Other places I want to take them are Greenhills and SM Megamall. Di pa sila nakakapunta sa Greenhills kaso chineck ko pwede gawin dun, stuffed toy making tsaka go kart lang. I don't think they'd enjoy the former, and as for the latter naman ilang beses na rin kami nag go kart. Idk if may iba pang activities sa Greenhills pero yun lumalabas lagi pag sinesearch ko sa tiktok.

I'll still discuss this with them pa naman, just wanted some recommendations para may mapagpipilian sila.

Problem/Goal:

I'm 25M, and I'm wondering if I should continue courting a girl who accepted me as her official manliligaw but is still entertaining two other guys. I want to understand whether my concerns are valid and whether I should continue or step back.

Context:

I'm from Caloocan, and the girl I'm courting is 24F, also from Caloocan. We work at different workplaces, and one of the two other guys she's entertaining is her workmate.

Two months ago, I confessed my feelings and asked if I could officially become her manliligaw. She said yes, and she also told me na gusto niya ako. Since then, I've been making an effort to get to know her because I genuinely see the possibility of having a future with her.

Recently, I found out that she's entertaining two other guys aside from me. Apparently, they don't know that she already has an official manliligaw. She also hides her Facebook posts and Instagram stories from them so they won't find out about me.

Honestly, it hurts. I understand that we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet, and I know she has the right to choose whom she wants to be with. However, I can't help but wonder why she would accept me as her manliligaw while continuing to entertain other guys and hiding my existence from them.

I feel like it's unfair not only to me but also to the other guys. I'm taking this courtship seriously, but I'm starting to question whether I'm just one of her options while she decides whom she likes best.

I'm not expecting her to choose me immediately. I just want honesty and clarity about her intentions so I can understand where I stand.

Previous Attempts:

Two months ago, I openly confessed my feelings and asked her if I could officially court her. She agreed and told me she liked me too. I've continued making an effort since then, but I haven't mentioned my concerns about the two other guys yet.

My Advice:

Girls of Reddit, I'd genuinely appreciate your perspective:

1. Is it normal to entertain two other guys while officially accepting someone as your manliligaw?

2. Why would she hide me from her other admirers?

3. Am I just one of her options, or am I overthinking the situation?

4. Should I talk to her about this and ask for clarity, continue courting her, or step back?

I'm open to honest opinions. Hindi ko gustong siraan siya or control her choices. Gusto ko lang maintindihan yung situation and malaman kung valid ba yung concerns ko. Thank you!

Problem/Goal: My current phone unit ay sobrang luma na and marami na rin damages, so I've been thinking of upgrading or buying a new one. However, I can't decide if ipapa swap ko na lang ba sa ibang android + dadagdag ako ng 2500-3000 or ipapa ayos ko yong Iphone 8 ni ate na worth 1500-2000 ang pang ayos.

Context: Redmi 9A currently phone ko now and ma lag talaga siya at hindi rin ako maka download ng ibang apps (tulad ng Gcash) kasi outdated daw version ng phone ko. Ngayon, tumingin ako sa mga tindahan ng mga selpon sa mall tapos may nakita akong phones na Techno, Infinix, Redmi, at Realme. Naka-usap ko rin yong nagbebenta at sabi nila willing sila iswap phone ko at dagdagan ko na lang daw yong bayad ko if ever man na mag uupgrade ako sa mga cellphones nila don na puro good quality naman. Ngayon, hindi po ako makapag decision if mags-swap na lang ba ako for another android or mag Iphone na. Hindi ko naman po pinoproblema ang financial ngayon kaya I'm looking more into the longevity ng phone. Ano po sa tingin niyo ang mas worth it in terms of camera quality and overall performance? Ayoko po talaga yong ma lag sana dahil gagamitin ko po pang school. At if ever man pong android yong piliin ko, alin po kaya sa mga brand na yon ang dabest option at hindi rin madali masira?

Previous attempts: None, nag inquire lang po ako sa both parties ng price ng phone.

Problem/Goal: I wanted to end this marriage but he doesn’t want to.

Context: I’m tired of feeling like I’m carrying a marriage that I also need someone to help me carry. He’s good naman, calm, hindi pa sya nagcheat (i think?) sweet, always do the chores and i do the money, But there’s some lapses talaga na kulang sa communication. Ang gulo ng utak ko, im so confused.

I want to rest in my marriage too. But it’s exhausting

I don’t know what to do. Gusto ko lang makawala sa kanya and be single and rich tita na lang!!!

Previous Attempts: I am very confrontational, makausap ako every single time. And i dont think im receiving the same energy

I need your advice please badly: Am I asking for too much, or am I just emotionally exhausted from my marriage?

I don't know if my expectations are unreasonable or if I'm simply tired of being the strong one all the time. For those who have experienced something similar, how did you know whether the problem was your expectations or the relationship itself?

Problem/Goal: Me and my long time girlfriend are not talking for the past 2 months.

Context:

Three years na kaming LDR and for we have ups and downs but here comes the problem. She joined a religious group (we are both RC) and that's not a problem to me, I always say na kung saan mag go grow yung faith mo with Him. Kaya lang people around her saying that staying in a long time BF and GF is not "acceptable" like hirap ko rin intindihin.

Domino effect nagkaroon kami ng mga arguments and ended up sa situation. Bigla na niya ako tinanong sa plans ko for us sa future, knowing na mahirap ang migration sa country kung nasaan siya.

Past plans naman namin is antayin ko na umuwi siya then we will get married sana. Established na rin kasi yung career ko dito sa PH, but yes given the opportunity sino ba naman aayaw.

Asa nalang kami sa fate kung kami ba talaga ?

Previous attemp: None, kagabi muntik ko na siya I message.

Problem/Goal:

Im pregnant and i dont know what to do

Context:

I am a 25 y/o female. Galing ako sa medyo traditional family na kapag nabuntisan ka ng lalaki, hiyang hiya ang parents. Naka tira pa ako sa parents ko kasi usually di umaalis samin unless kasal ka na. Di ako ang favorite ng parents ko. Madami akong kalokohan before and pakiramdam nila bata pa ko kasi bunso ako.

6 months palang kami ng bf ko. I know talagang too early for baby kaya lang nandyan na. Ayaw ng parents ko sa bf ko. Tbh, i think dahil di sya mapera and di nakapag tapos kasi sobrang bait naman neto. Wala akong masasabi abt kay boyfie, pero somehow yung pagiging sweet nya is PDA daw samin. Then yung pag try nya mag make conversation is weird daw sabi ng family ko. Lahat minamasama.

I dont know when to move out. Or kung dapat ba bumukod at all. Kung ano ano nang sinasabing advice sakin, bumukod nalang agad, wag bumukod even after manganak, bumukod after nalang manganak, di ko na alam.

Problem/goal: Dating a legally married man

Context: I know walang divorce dito sa Pilipinas and matagal ang process ng annulment. I really like this guy na married but hiwalay na sa asawa nya.

Previous attempts: Can you advise me guys if how was it? Ano yung good and bad experience nyo about it if meron ba. We've been dating for a while and I can say na he's a really good man. Yun nga lang kasi he's legally married.

I really appreciate any insights.

Thank you!