Can’t fucking do anything without a smart phone. Can‘t read menus, can’t log in to things, can’t access a fucking temporary credit card for a store DESPITE having a physical ID. Can’t fucking leave it anywhere because what if you need it for something? So stupid.

They told me I had 3 to 6 months, I’ve just learned that it’s now 2 to 4 weeks. I can feel my body shutting down, my single leg that used to carry me everywhere can barely do anything. I wanna eat but my body also I think wants to reject food. And I wanted to spend my last days in my room but I can’t. The doctors said my death will probably be painful and hospice might not have all the meds I need to be comfortable. I’m so sad, I just wanted to be in my room with my cats. I know why they are wanting to keep me in the hospital it just hurts. I saw my room for the last time and I didn’t even know it. I’m so tired of medical stuff, and now I’m gonna die being around medical stuff. I’m so tired, I want this to end but not in the way it’s going. I’m not scared of death, but I am scared of my body slowly failing me.

When I say I want a man the first thing a funny looking bitch wants to say is love yourself. I DO HOE! So much that I think I deserve in house dick and getting my back broken regularly.

Im so freakin sorry to some of you ladies but I dont hate men ! Yes pick meee pick meee anddd??? Like wtf has the world come too that it makes sense to think we dont need one another. I absolutely want a man in my life . Please stop dismissing me with that love yourself BULLSHIT.

& scene

Edit:Thanks for laughing with me folks. I blew off alot of steam in the comments. If you didnt laugh thanks for reading.

I’m so sick of being behind people on interstate on ramps that think it’s acceptable to just not accelerate and then try to merge into traffic at 40mph when said traffic is doing 70+mph!

You had all that time to push your right foot down a little harder but noooooo, you just have to selfishly endanger the lives of those behind you and the lives of those already on the interstate passing at speed.

Hit the god damn gas pedal on an on ramp people!

Just debated one, who said if we stopped all space exploration we would have universal basic income because space exploration is a “endless money pit”.

Do these people not understand space exploration is 0.35% of spending and cutting all space exploration and the amount of money gotten from it going towards social programs would hardly make a dent. There’s wayyy better things we could cut from. Do they think aerospace engineers, astrophysicists, and astronauts specifically don’t deserve careers until all the worlds problems are solved?

Under every post about Japan’s latest mission is a bunch of my fellow Americans saying we need to stop doing space missions. These things used to be exciting. But now instead of exciting it’s “what do I get out of it”. When it’s about humanity’s knowledge on our solar system and not what we directly get out of it.

I understand the sentiment, but cutting all space funding isn’t gonna make all the homeless people stop doing hard drugs (I’ve been there, that’s why most are homeless), nor is it gonna make enough money for UBI or whatever social program. It’s just dumb.

Edit: what could actually help your cause, is our insanely over funded military that’s used as aggression across the world instead of defense. NASA gets 26 billion, the military gets 1 trillion. We are never getting invaded as we have nukes, we can surely save way more money cutting from that.

My parents are divorced. My dad I don’t worry about as much because he has my step mom and her kids but my mom’s been really depressed lately and I want to help her. She hates her job she won’t leave her bed she’s taking time off work and I can’t get a job for personal reasons to help her out. She said she feels like Brittney spears when she broke except she didn’t shave her head. I genuinely want to help her but I don’t know how besides letting her vent and helping buy groceries. My dads had a history of threatening to off himself and he’ll probably do that after I graduate and I just don’t know what to do I’m only 16

For context: I am an infertile 32yr old woman, I am completely unable to have children. I also have more mothering instincts than I know what to do with. I have always wanted a family of my own, and I have a lot of experience with kids.

Three years ago I met a guy, with sole custody of his 11mth old daughter. I fell in love instantly and we became a family. Even before we moved in together I was taking care of her alone, cooking for them, cleaning, and spending most of my time over there, even adjusting my work schedule around her care. I finally felt that hole in my chest filling up.

My now ex has always had substance abuse issues. He'd do really well for a while, then fall off the tracks again. He's a fucking mean alcoholic, and has a very high opinion of doing recreational drugs. I did the best I could to convince him to get his shit together.

This time he's been drinking every day for almost a month.

Saturday he was being so mean to me, and blatantly disrespected my parenting and my relationship with our daughters teachers, IN FRONT OF our daughter AND his long time friend! I was so humiliated.

Then later that night he was on my case because I was quiet and distant. I tried to express my feelings and it turned into him screaming at me while I just cried. He was hitting stuff, storming around, and saying anything he could to try to get me to fight back with him. I can't fight anymore. I'm done.

I moved back to my parents house yesterday, with my cats. But I still have to come in and out of our old apartment to take care of our kid and get her to and from school.

All of our stuff is meshed together, we've been living here for over two years. We were planning to buy a house soon, I was going to open my own doggy daycare/boarding house finally (my dream for the last 10 yrs).

I finally had freedom I've never experienced before. I had someone who encouraged me to start my small jewelry business, and helped me make it work along the way.

I had someone that let me be open and talk about my mental illness, and someone who let me unmask and be my weird little autistic self. He didn't scold me for having too many hobbies or too much stuff.

And finally I could talk about my past trauma with someone who went through similar stuff.

He helped me come to terms with being disabled, while my mother was trying to convince me to not take meds and to not buy a mobility aide.

I thought I was finally free and going to be happy.

I bust my ass for 12 hrs a day to keep this family happy and functional: school prep, drop off, go to work, school pick up, do chores and child care, cat care, make dinner, and work my second job at home, bed time, then finally some couple time.

But I guess because I was too tired to be interesting, he started to drink more and more until he was back to being an active alcoholic.

I had to leave, I can't be treated the way I was.

I'm so devastated. I thought I finally had everything I wanted, and now I'm just lost and trying my best to keep things as normal and easy to understand as I can for our child.

Being a parent is always the number one priority, but damn if I don't want to just lay in bed and cry for four days..

(Eta: no I'm not going to leave the kid. I come from a large family of step parents and found family, so this situation really isn't that strange for us. It almost mirrors my sister's situation with her youngest, idk we're used to weird dynamics. Seriously I'm just venting because my heart hurts, please don't try to convince me to abandon the scared and confused 4yr old that doesn't remember life before me. She's the most important person in the world to me.)

Came out of a 6 year relationship nearly a year ago and hadn't bothered with dating since. I'd only ever been with my ex and tbh, I'm perfectly happy being single.

(This is going to be long so really appreciate anyone willing to read all of this, thank you in advance).

Then I happened to cross paths with a guy on a freelance job who made it extremely obvious that he liked me. It was very mutual so I was like, why not? The vibes were there, and he asked me on a date. We went on about 5 dates; we had a great time, a lot in common, it felt electric between us and he was so lovely.

Cue us being sat on the beach and he tells me he's not ready for a new relationship since he's just come out of a 15 year one, and he doesn't want to lead me on (despite taking me on 5 dates and telling me how much he likes me). I don't say much at the time, but afterwards say that it won't work for me as we have so much chemistry we're bound to sleep together (foreshadowing), which will probably make me develop much stronger feelings for him. So I can't be casual with him. He says he's not after casual, but he's been worried about developing strong feelings too because he really likes me, but it's just too soon since his last relationship. We agree maybe its best to put a pin in it for now, and give it some time. He suggested a few months (a bit quick) of space to see if we're in a similar headspace later down the line...

Spoiler alert... we don't stop talking...

Things continue and we're texting a lot, seeing each other regularly and sexting. I kinda decide regardless of what happens, I want to experience sleeping with this man since I've only been with my ex. But I make it clear I'm not down to sleep with him if he's sleeping around at all, he says he's not and doesn't want me to get the wrong idea about the kind of person he is. I tell him if he does decide he wants to sleep with other people then he needs to tell me because I don't want to be involved with someone seeing multiple people, he agrees.

I end up going to his flat, we sleep together, it's great - he's being super romantic too and telling me how much he likes me (more fool me), and then takes me out to dinner. When he walks me back to the station, he makes me switch places with him so he's closer to the road and says 'my dad always said you should do this when you're courting someone' (I make a joke about who uses the word courting anymore).

He invites me round again a couple of weeks later, and it's equally as good. Both sexually and non sexually we have a really great time. So I invite him round for the following weekend, he says yes, and we're both super excited for it - he also says he's bought me a gift. I feel like things are just going at a nice pace, and I'm happy with this low commitment, sorta romance and sex scenario. I don't really hear from him during the week which is odd, but I brush it off as it's a particularly busy week at work for both of us. He messages the night before confirming, and I'm like yep still on, excited to see you...

The morning of the weekend, he messages me and starts with 'I've been meaning to tell you something, but you're probably not going to want to hear it..'. It turns out a few days before sleeping with me a second time, he goes out with a group of old uni friends and ends up hooking up with this girl he had 'history' with.

He tells me he's really sorry for not telling me sooner, he's felt guilty about it since it happened and its been on his mind a lot - he just didn't want to not tell me before sleeping with me again (I guess not telling me before the second time we slept together was fine?). He also says he understands if I no longer want him to come round. I'm super shocked and a bit upset, but ultimately decide I don't want him coming over since he disrespected a boundary I mentioned multiple times.

I say the only way I'd be happy to go on is if he agrees we just have sex with each other, no one else. He says he doesn't want to have sex with anyone els.e (wouldn't let me post with that phrase, ignore the .), but can't promise a situation like that wouldn't happen again as he wants to keep himself open to new experiences after being with someone for 15 years. He also says he'd let me know (?!) if something did happen with someone else down the line, in which I would then probably want to end things with him if I hadn't already now.

I say yeah no thanks, that's how I get my heart broken and I don't appreciate feeling like an option, so I say I feel like we should call things off. He agrees, saying every part of him is saying otherwise, but maybe we shouldn't go any further as he doesn't want me to get attached to him while he's not ready for commitment again, when I could be with someone who could meet my needs. He says we can reconnect in the future if I want when he's in a different place.

I say yeah maybe... we stop talking, and now I've been crying about it since lol. He missed a work meeting on Monday, which I wonder if that was related.

Also...I never got the gift either btw! (He did offer to bring it round, but I said no thanks).

In conclusion, I ignored the red flags and got played. Now for an STD test

Edit: typos

I am what you could describe as very tomboy-ish. I’m bisexual in a heterosexual marriage. A lot of my passions and interests could be considered “male-coded” like gaming and motorcycles, and I have a successful career developing video games.

None of this is tied to sexuality or gender, and yet my closest loved ones have teased me that I might be gay. My mom admitted she was relieved when I came home with my first boyfriend. She thought I could possibly be trans because I refused to wear anything girly as a child.

This teasing died down for awhile through my 20s, but this year is different. I’ve been under a lot of stress at work, and through therapy I learned I could ease a lot of that stress by exploring more authentic sides of myself. I got a great shag hairstyle with a deep undercut. I’ve decided to finally get my M1 license and just purchased my first bike last weekend. I’m looking into getting more piercings.

All of this has made me so, so over the moon happy. But my husband, for whatever reason I have yet to investigate, has started teasing me about “going full lesbian” and “this is becoming a lavender marriage.” I’m not sure if I’m too autistic to understand, but it’s made me quite upset to hear this from him.

I just want to be me without being labeled something different. I can’t ignore that we haven’t really had sex in a few months, save a couple sessions here and there, but that has nothing to do with my attraction to him. We have other unrelated issues we need to sort out.

We’ve always joked that our gender roles are the opposite of the stereotypical 50s marriage. I’m the breadwinner, I love video games, and I’m nowhere near as good at interior design and choosing house decor as he is. He’s a fantastic cook and doesn’t hold a job, and I’ve been more or less okay with it.

I don’t know why I haven’t been able to stop crying tonight. We had a brief argument over my choice to get into riding, but he eventually returned to the room and apologized. I joked “yeah well you keep calling me gay” and he looked me in the eyes and sincerely said “yes well, it’s okay to be gay” and gave me a big hug. I’m so confused.

25 m. This is probably going to be a ramble and sound stupid or winy but I just feel like I have to get my thoughts out.

I’m just so so lonely and it’s ruining me. Everyday I can’t stop thinking about and daydreaming about experiencing love. All I want is someone to love, someone to love me. I want to spend my time with them, come home to them everyday, hold their hand through all aspects of life.

But despite how desperately I want I it I know it will never happen. I know I’ll be alone forever. I only wish I could I just accept it and not let it eat me up from the inside ever single day.

I won’t go into it here but so many other aspects of my life I hate and feel powerless to change. But all I want is somebody by my side and I know I could handle it all because all that matters is them.

I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve never been on a date and I’ve never had anyone who was interested in me. All everyone tells me to do is try dating apps, like I haven’t already been using them for years without a single match. I have no friends anymore, there is no one in my life.

I’ve tried to message so many people that have similar interests that say they want friends just as a way to fill some of that loneliness and barely anybody replies to me and nothing ever lasts past a few messages.

People keep telling me if I want love I should get a dog, well I have a dog and he gets excited to see my parents and when he sees me he walks the other direction.

I just want one person to give me a chance. I’m so used to rejection I can’t even imagine anything else anymore.

So I saw this video of a disabled kid having fun, and all the comments were saying shit like “you need to let go” and “what happens when mom dies?”. Like holy fucking shit the kid was no older than like 5, and he wasn’t in any pain whatsoever. If a disabled person isn’t in pain and suffering 24/7, why would it be better for them to not be here? Idk, as a disabled person it just made me sad because he did look really happy.

I play the ukulele. I’ve been playing the ukulele for 13 years. It started in college when I was extremely overwhelmed, it was relaxing and it was how I liked to unwind between working two jobs and having a full class load.

A couple of years later I found myself in a rough situation, no housing, no job, and so I started to play my ukulele for tips on the street. Eventually I started traveling in a van, and my uke was how I supported myself that whole time. It’s something I began to associate with freedom and self sufficiency. I’m back to living in an apartment without wheels and working two jobs again, but I still have my uke, and it’s still an instrument that’s brought me a lot of joy and comfort in my life.

And for the last three years, every time I mention playing the ukulele, or play my ukulele in front of anyone, someone makes a Colleen Ballinger comment.

I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I hate that this thing that’s brought me so much joy and happiness is still associated with a predator’s cringey video THREE YEARS LATER.

I hate that something I spent years practicing and used to be proud of is now something I feel like I need to keep to myself because the instrument itself is now embarrassing to be associated with.

The ukulele has a history that dates back to the 19th century. It’s been used in so many different genres and styles by so many different artists. This one creepy weirdo shouldn’t be the first thing that people think of when they see or hear a ukulele, yet here we are.

I really hope this dies down over the next few years. I hope people forget about her and the rest of us can enjoy the instrument again.

She is an amazing person, caring and good on the eye, however she comes with a cat and a dog, i love animals but every piece of furniture she has looks like a 5yo cat scratching post, it's not coming with her, however i have 4 living areas, theatre room has doors, so hopefully safe, but the other three don't and they all have furniture in them, i am raising a sweat just thinking about it, more than happy to build a cat run outside but it is an indoor cat and every time i go to her place it's sitting on her lap.

Ive been lucky enough my whole life not to have financial difficulties. My parents were well off, we had a nice house, i got nice clothes sometimes. Typical comfortable middle class upbringing. But now that ive been on my own for a few years I feel like im struggling to keep my head above water. The past 3 or 4 months ive been playing a constant game of catch-up. I went on this camping trip with my family in july and forgot to pay one bill, the late fee on the next bill completely fucked me up. I just finally went grocery shopping last week for the first time since then. But now im back at square one. I have very little money. And I just missed a dentist appointment that I forgot about, $120 cancelation fee. I have to reschedule and that appointment will be $40 next week. Then I have a therapy appointment, another $40. I have an ultrasound coming up (possible reproductive organ problems causing me a lot of pain) thats also probably going to be $40-$50. I also have an ear infection, which i will have to pay ANOTHER $40 copay to get seen by a doctor. THEN I still have to pay my internet bill, $90 and thats the cheapest internet package in my area. I dont have any streaming service subscriptions, I dont eat out, the last time i bought something for myself was a bottle of nail polish last month. And and and I also need a new pair of pants for work because there's a huge hole in them. AND ALSO I have to pay rent soon. I make $20.50 an hour and I live in a 500 square ft apartment.

I literally cant catch a break im so exhausted. All I want is to have one month where I just, have enough money to get an icecream or something. I just got a credit card to help with the bills so thats nice, but im still in a constant state of dread. Is this just how it is? Is this really how the rest of my adult life is going to be? At least I have some food in the kitchen...

I’ve been trying not to take them because they make me feel emotionally blunt and my sex drive was nonexistent. I weaned myself off of them in July and didn’t take them at all in August. But my parents found out and forced me back on them. They said I needed to talk with my psychologist about it, but it takes months to make an appointment with him.

I was finally feeling emotions after so long and my libido returned, all for it to get erased.

It’s my stepmom’s birthday tomorrow so me, my brother and my mom are wrapping the gifts and writing the card. Stuff like that you know.

My brother got my stepmom a fancy perfume that she loves and can barely find anywhere. My mom got her a bottle of some kind of booze (my stepmom doesn’t drink). And I got her this comic book I saw in a store and immediately knew it was for her. It’s about elephants, she absolutely loves everything related to elephants. So I got it for her.

So to what happened an hour ago, as I was busy writing the card my mom is doing the gifts. The wrapping paper is nearly out so there is barely enough to cover my gift. I’d grabbed another roll so there was plenty. But my mom decided to use the one that was almost out. She got the wide part done and only needed to fold the small part and we’d be good. I told her it wouldn’t fit, it was obvious. She tried anyway claiming she knew better. She folded it and it was clear she’d folded the book too. I instantly got it out, it was bent badly and one of the pages was ripped (I don’t think that was her fault though). She tried to make it better by trying to bend it the other way, no idea why she thought that’d work. There’s now two very obvious bends in the book, it was supposed to be a cute gift and now you can’t read half the page.

I honestly think she’s jealous that I have a better relationship with her partner than her (my mom and stepmom are together)

My anxiety has been through the roofs. And I'm genuinely terrified of the future. It's been hard for me to sleep. It's been hard for me to take care of myself, or do anything else, as the future feels so bleaky. Everything feels so pointless.

I have grown up religious too, so everything feeels like a sign of the end of times. Not a single day goes by where I don't feel like the world is ending or something really awful is going to happen. I know this is going to sound crazy to some people, but I do genuinely live in constant fear that the antichrist could appear at any moment. I'm terrified of the biblical prophecies coming. And I'm terrified if they don't and this is all the world will always be. All I want is a minute without being in fear.

some of the other kids in this program are also just dogshit at listening but this bully kid is ruining the whole program. they slap kids, push them off of benchs without provocation, call other kids garbage etc. the admin won't do anything about it and hasn't even allowed reports on this child's behavior to move forward, always citing that something is stated incorrectly and needs to be rewritten or petty shit like that. program receives taxpayer money and cannot kick anyone out without extensive behavior reports documenting the ongoing problem. one parent pulled her kid out due to him getting bullied and it's primarily this problem child. Big boss says there's nothing he can do about it 🤷 or he makes up reasons like "oh she hit someone with a backpack? Start leaving backpacks in the hallway!" Like fuck you man. Infuriating. All the pain from the parents just gets dumped on the teenagers and program managers who work with the kids but aren't able to do anything. the parent of the problem kid refuses to discipline them. I've had it!

I don't have feelings for him anymore, but he's on my mind every day. I don't want it to consume me, I've been working in therapy to overcome this but there is the anger within me every day about him.

How could he do this? Every day we talked, and every day he was lying to me, or hiding a big betrayal and it kills my heart to know that. To know he could look in my face day after day and continue to lie to me. It makes me feel disrespected and worth nothing to him, it hurts so badly to be as loyal as I was and as loving as I was to a person who couldn't even give me the truth. I can't believe he did that to me, but I have no choice but to move on because he will never give the closure I need.

I [34F] have been acting and singing in the stage theatre industry practically my whole life, but as most people know, it’s a tough business to succeed in without money or connections. Because I’ve been basically raw dogging it since day one, my success has been minimal. I just keep doing it because I enjoy it.

Well, a couple of days ago, I got some of the craziest news of my life. I was hired as a lead in a brand new musical. It means I will not just be in the show, but be part of the original cast recording. It’s my first paid, professional gig since I started, and I naturally rushed to tell my friend, who is also an actress.

Instead of saying congratulations or any means of love or support, she texts back:

“I thought you weren’t singing anymore.”

(Hang on, it gets worse)

Now, I took a hiatus due to health issues and some other personal reasons for a number of years, but when this opportunity arose, I had to go for it.

This “friend” has always been a little passive-aggressive whenever I’d share news about an opportunity in theatre, even though she’s arguably been far more active than me, so I really should have seen this coming. I once told her I was just *thinking* about entering a competition that literally ANYONE can sign up for, and she talked about how I get all these opportunities while she never gets anything. She’s always acted like it’s a competition between us, even though we have two completely different voices, acting styles, and roles we’re suited for.

So I respond to her initial reaction telling her the opportunity just felt right and I couldn’t pass it up.

She proceeds to say the following, word-for-word (I can’t post a screenshot or I would):

“I am so fucking jealous that you just get handed shit like this without even trying.”
(Then proceeding to basically mock me:) “I don’t sing anymore… have a dream role…”
Meanwhile I got cussed out by the agency I signed on with and was told I never was and never would be working with.”

I was absolutely heartbroken. I have aimed at a professional career, failing again and again, for 20 years. I’ve battled a voice disorder, an ex who tried to stunt me at every turn, aged out of the dream role that had kept me going, was abandoned by the only person (a teacher who was like a father figure) who ever believed in me… I earned this. And I’m not sorry I did. I have never been handed ANYTHING in this career.

I’ve constantly felt the need to downplay my personal accomplishments to spare her feelings, and I just won’t do it anymore. This was the last straw.

I don’t know if she harbors some kind of weird resentment from our high school days because I was kindof treated like the golden child for ONE year of my life (by the same teacher who ghosted me. Don’t ask, I have literally no clue why he did), but seriously. It’s been 16 years since we graduated. And this is my first real accomplishment since then. In fact, I’ve cried myself to sleep for years, terrified I was just one of those girls that peaked in high school. Having that FINALLY disproven has just been… indescribable. But she shits all over it.

I’ve always been supportive of her, but she can never manage to be supportive of me. This was just the worst and most forthright she’s ever been.

Unfortunately, I know it’s time to go NC with her. I’m not just going to ghost her though. I will explain why I’m cutting things off. I just don’t have many friends to begin with so this is really difficult.

Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this out so I can move forward and be happy with this next step in life.

(Just a note, I don’t expect this to get much attention or anything, but please don’t share this anywhere or use it in YT videos. I’m not looking for attention, just venting.)

This was my girlfriend's childhood dog, she had her from 14 to 25. I feel like a joke for being this sad, like I have no right to it. I've only known the dog for a year and a half, and she only lived with us (and not my MIL) since january. I don't even LIKE dogs, I'm a cat person. But this one was special. She was so gentle, so kind, so peaceful. In loving my girlfriend, how could I not love her, the epitome of everything good and loveable. I'm trying to keep it together but sometimes I just can't. She's having a funeral in an hour and a half, and we're thinking about what to do with her ashes. My girlfriend wants to throw some of them in her mom's backyard, the place she spent 10/11 years of her life. I'm also thinking of having some turned into a diamond, but I've no idea how expensive that will be.

If anyone cares about context of death, we're still stunned about it. Two weeks ago she was absolutely fine, she was very active and healthy for her age (11y.o. shih tzu). At first she had a little fever, then exams showed a shadow on her stomach, then came diarrhea, vomiting, shivers and heavy breathing, and yesterday they found out her lungs were almost fully compromised by pneumonia, but she was showing zero signs until the very last days. She was hospitalized a few days ago and we woke up today with a call saying she didn't make it through the night. She had a respiratory arrest, her lungs were full of blood, they tried to save her but couldn't.

The vetdoc that tried to save her looked awful, eyes red and apologizing over and over. I don't blame her, she seemed like a good professional. It's just a shitty situation all in all.

I(29 f) don't understand why I feel this way, but it's awful. I want nothing more than to find a nice girlfriend, but I can't look for one cause I feel like a total loser right now. I just got done doing a year of conservation work, but now I'm out of a job, and nowhere in my town is hiring.

I feel unworthy if I don't have an income; I hate this.

Parents finally found a guy they’re happy with and my grandparents like him too I haven’t met him yet and I told my mum I won’t say anything until I get to have a conversation with him and my mum is also saying she’s fine with me being engaged a few years before marriage because I’m like only 18 but it’s like the perfect age for marriage according to everyone but my mums supportive of me wanting it a little later she wants me educated first which I’m thankful for but not relevant rn

I’m scared of arranged marriage because I’ve experienced love, I know what it’s like to have someone who adores you like crazy someone who respects you and understands you and is willing to do anything for your happiness someone you can share anything and everything with and ive felt these emotions too and I just don’t want to leave him im so torn up

My parents don’t know about him, my bf, or well they did and I got in a bunch of trouble and they told me never to contact him again but my heart hurt so much I couldn’t live without him so I reached out to him I really shouldn’t have because it hurts so much more now than it did back then

I’m terrified of getting into an arranged marriage because I don’t know this guy I don’t know his interests what he likes and doesn’t like to eat what music he listens to his favourite tv show nothing

I don’t want to end up like my parents, I wouldn’t say their marriage is loveless but it’s like bare minimum like yea they respect each other and whatever but ugh Idek what I’m saying

I’m sad I’m upset and everything hurts

And I can’t bring up my bf bc back when they caught us my parents threatened me with marriage I was like 15 ish then and I said I don’t wanna marry bc they made it sound like an immediate thing but like besides any of that I don’t think my bf wants marriage like yes we love each other but we are just too different

He’s not from the same religion his family has a completely different social life /group to ours and he’s a different nationality too just there’s a lot

I feel hopeless I don’t know what to do

I do not regret bought this home, but I just hate it.

I am going insane, and I have anxiety too, I just hate my home right now, but I know it was the right choice, and I will buy it again if I can turn back the hand of time.

My mother in-law 5 years ago had a spinal cord stroke that leave her paralyze all 4 limps, kidney failures and multiple heart issues, and multiple autoimmune disease. Basically she not have alot of time left, and my husband is stretching out as many years as he can have left with her.

Because my mother in-law as to go to the hospital for treatments 5x times a week to prolong her life. When I bought this home (and yes, I bought this home with my inheritance), she was the #1 reason my mind why I chose this home.

This home it right around the corner of a big hospital where she easy to go get her treatments 5x times a week in the hospital. And also on Monday through Friday we have her in her Private Nursing Home which is also in the same area near the hospital too.

So buy this home was easy for my husband to commute (shorter drive) to see her at her Nursing Home, as well as when he can he takes her to treatments too.

And on the weekends he has her in our marital home so he can care for her, mother and son time, her time is limited. And he takes her back to her Nursing Home Sunday night, as he has to work Monday.

And this home is big, and flat one story, so easy to transport his mom on gurney van and stretcher for quadriplegic paralyze person. He has training to transport his mother to treatments and to specialists.

This home fit all the needs for his mom, hence I bought this home without hesitation, paid with cash use my inheritance. No regrets, I will buy this home again because it what his mother need.

But I need to complaint, this home it draining on me. Because it just right at the corner of a BIG hospital (we in California btw). It a constant traffic and traffic. Ambulances siren and traffic noise, and helipad helicopter landing on the hospital roof.

Yes I have Triple-pane windows installed, but it still loud. But then I am someone who has anxiety, and I guess I am sensitive with noise. But you be sensitive too when it ambulance sirens, and freaking helipad with helicopter land on the hospital roof. And you just right at the corner o the hospital.

And I have anxiety too which not helping me. I just hate the home. But his 84 years old quadriplegic paralyze mother is the priority right now.

And Yes, we will stay in this home until after his mom die, and we will sale it. And hopefully I get my countryside simple living dream. And that peace and quiet, free of helicopters landing and ambulances sirens.

I just hate it, hate it. But I'm okay, I just need to vent as an outlet.

Repost because my original post got removed. I also added paragraphs so this is easier to read.

I may be called a bad person for this, but a few years ago, my friend told me about a plan to run away from home. She heavily disliked her parents, but I thought her parents were really nice people. I know they could’ve faked their kindness, but I talked to them personally, and they seemed to care about my friend a lot. They would’ve been devastated if she ran away from home like that.

She told me that she met these people online and had a plan to run away with them. These people she was about to run away with were a group of adults that she only knew online. She did not know these people IRL and the more she talked about the plan, the more it didn’t sit right with me and seemed suspicious. At the time, I knew that traffickers would often prey on runaways because they can’t defend themselves very well if they go missing.

At first, I didn’t snitch on her because she had been planning this for months now, but this whole plan didn’t sit right with me at all. I ended up consulting a social worker anonymously because if something bad happened to my friend, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. The social worker thought this was suspicious too, and she encouraged me to report this. I ended up reporting her plan because I was worried about her safety.

The authorities ended up going to her house and asked her and her parents a bunch of questions about it. She told me that she knew I had reported her and that she hated me for it. I told her that this whole plan was very sketchy, and that she could’ve gotten trafficked if she went with these random adults she only knew online.

This happened years ago, and she has forgiven me since then, but I still feel guilty till this day for snitching on her like that. Part of me feels like I did the right thing, but another part of me says I should’ve just let her go through with the plan. I’m just confused if I’m a bad person or not for snitching.