Not for any kind of relationship friendship dating etc, but just hangout and forget about the day. And i wanna keep it anonymous, like i would never want to see that person again or interfere in my life. I know this sounds weird but i wanna have someone like that. i am an extremely introverted girl 20 f and they shouldn't question me on anything, just be with me for sometime and then never see me again. Their age gender sexuality color race religion nothing would matter and they strictly shouldn't judge me on these parameters too. Just spend time together and nothing more. they should maintain secrecy and not tell anyone about me, and strictly not someone that i already know irl.

Ps not searching for this ideal person on reddit , but always welcome any leads on how to find them.

I've been dating my girlfriend for four years, and honestly, I'm mentally exhausted. I need an outside perspective because I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

When we met, I'd just come out of a two-year relationship. We started dating within a month, barely knowing each other. The first few months were good, but over time, I gradually started losing feelings. I don't know whether I've fallen out of love or become exhausted by everything happening between us.

I've lost both my parents and am responsible for my three sisters. I also run a business. My girlfriend comes from a wealthy family, and if we marry, I'll have to relocate to her state, move my sisters, arrange their education, establish my business there, and buy a flat. Her family won't allow her to settle in my state, and I feel pressured to portray myself as wealthier than I actually am to gain their approval.

Apart from this, she expects constant video calls, attention, flirting, romantic messages, and good morning paragraphs. If I'm busy working, can't stay awake with her until 4 a.m., or don't feel romantic, she compares me to other boyfriends and says I've changed.

We're long-distance, and for the first two years, I travelled around 500 km each way to meet her, sometimes every 10 days. Now, with my responsibilities and finances, I can't do that as frequently, and she takes it as a sign that I don't want to meet her.

She also struggles with her mental health, is unhappy most of the time, spends much of her day in bed, and refuses professional help. I sympathise with her, but I feel emotionally drained trying to manage everything alongside my own responsibilities.

I've tried breaking up before, but she brings up what she'll tell her family, how her friends predicted we'd break up, and the fact that I was her first physical partner. I feel guilty and return, but we always end up back at square one.

Now she's given me a day to decide whether I want to stay or leave.

Honestly, I don't think I want to continue anymore. I'm just scared of the crying, arguments, blame, and guilt that will follow. I made promises when I was in love, and I feel terrible about potentially breaking them.

Am I giving up because marriage feels overwhelming, or have I genuinely outgrown this relationship? How do I leave without getting pulled back by guilt?

I'm not looking for people to bash her or tell me I'm right. I know I've made mistakes too. I just want honest advice from people who've experienced something similar.

I want to develop this quality before starting relationship with anyone. As per my self analysis I'm more of an emotionless person. I rarely get emotions for anything.

I'm 23M and only child of my parents(if needed)

I really want to learn this. If anyone know anything please share.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and generally, I trust him. He’s never given me a concrete reason to doubt him before, which is why I’m confused about how I’m feeling right now.
He met a girl at a money/finance expo, and she is based in Mumbai. She suggested that they catch up, and he asked me if he could meet her. He also said I could join if I wanted to. I told him he could go and that he didn’t need to ask my permission.
However, he has now told me that they’re meeting for drinks in Khar. He works in Thane, so I was a little surprised that he was travelling to Khar for this meetup. I had initially imagined it would be a casual coffee catch-up, so the idea of drinks feels different to me.
They also follow each other on Instagram. She’s apparently getting married in December, although I haven’t seen any posts about her boyfriend/fiancé on her profile. I know this last detail might be irrelevant, but I’ve caught myself looking at her Instagram and analysing things, which I don’t usually do.
To be fair, he has been transparent about the meeting, invited me along, and hasn’t actually done anything that I know of to suggest he has bad intentions. She also initiated the idea of catching up, so he wasn’t necessarily pursuing her.
I think what bothers me is that he chose to meet her for drinks and is making the effort to travel there when they’ve only met once. I don’t know if I’m uncomfortable because it’s a one-on-one drinks meetup with another woman, or because I’m imagining possibilities that aren’t actually there.
I’ve started giving him slightly cold replies because I don’t know how to process my feelings. I don’t want to be controlling or the girlfriend who has a problem with every female interaction. At the same time, I don’t want to dismiss my own discomfort just to appear secure and trusting.
I’d genuinely like some unbiased opinions:
Would you be uncomfortable in this situation, particularly with the drinks and travel to Khar?
Does this sound like normal professional networking to you?
Am I overanalysing the details because I’m feeling insecure, or is it reasonable to have a conversation about boundaries?
How would you handle this without turning it into an unnecessary argument?
Please be honest. I’m looking for perspective, not just reassurance that I’m right.

I’m 26M, and I met a woman while travelling. We exchanged numbers, started chatting, and within a month, we both confessed that we loved each other.

Initially, she told me she was 26, but later she admitted that she was actually 35. Honestly, I had no problem with the age difference because by then, I had developed genuine feelings for her.

We decided to meet in person and spent a week together. We got intimate, and things felt really good between us. Since we live in different cities, we decided to meet once every month and spend a few days together.

Then, after another month, she told me that she was married.

I was shocked. I ended things immediately and told her that I didn't want any contact until she got divorced. She told me that she and her husband weren't living together. She kept crying and asking me to talk to her just once, and eventually, I started talking to her again.

Here's where things have become complicated.

I genuinely love her. She has been a positive influence on my life, and being with her has brought me happiness in many ways.

But lately, she expects me to follow everything she says while showing very little consideration for what I want or feel. Whenever we disagree, she sometimes lashes out at me and says extremely hurtful things. She also avoids discussing her divorce or giving me clarity about where things stand.

I know I made a mistake by continuing this relationship after finding out she was married, especially when I had initially set a clear boundary. Maybe I let my feelings override my judgment.

I'm not looking for people to tell me that age gaps are wrong. I can accept the age difference. What I am struggling with is the dishonesty, the uncertainty about her marriage, and the lack of mutual respect.

I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice.

Also I posted this on Oct 10 but deleted it in 1hr

I'm 24M, and I've been dating my girlfriend, 23F, for almost four years. Our relationship has been good overall. She's been loyal, honest, and someone I genuinely feel I can trust. I love her, and I believe she deserves the best this world has to offer.

But I'm struggling with something that has been eating away at me for years, and I'm hoping to hear from people who've experienced something similar.

A little background

When we first started dating, we discussed our past relationships. I'd had two girlfriends before her, but nothing physical beyond kissing. She'd had a few boyfriends and had been physically intimate with two of them.

At the time, these conversations didn't bother me. We even found some of the details and old messages funny. She never hid anything from me, and she had already moved on from those relationships.

One of her exes, whom she dated in 2019, appeared to have been deeply in love with her and wanted her back. He had cheated on her, though, and I read conversations in which she made it clear that she no longer had feelings for him and didn't want further contact. She eventually blocked him. Her other relationship was around mid-2021. We met in June 2022, when we were both in our first year of college.

Around five months into our relationship, something changed in me. I began experiencing intense distress whenever I thought about her past. Sometimes it was so bad that I felt physically sick and even vomited. I couldn't understand why something that hadn't bothered me initially was suddenly affecting me so much.

I also know that she'd been through a lot growing up. Her biological father passed away when she was four, and she wasn't treated particularly well by her stepfather's family. She struggled with that pain and eventually started smoking. I started smoking after we got together, too, although I've now stopped for two months and no longer really experience cravings.

Over the years, I've spoken to her about my feelings a few times. She's understanding and reassures me, which helps temporarily. Sometimes I can manage these thoughts reasonably well, but other times they return with overwhelming intensity. It's been a recurring cycle, and I'm exhausted by it.

Why it's becoming more difficult now

Lately, as I get closer to the age when people start seriously considering marriage, these feelings have become more complicated.

I keep thinking about how she experienced relationships and physical intimacy years ago, while I'm approaching marriage having never experienced sex with anyone other than her. A part of me feels like she got to explore that side of life before settling down, while I'm committing to one person without ever knowing what it's like to be with anyone else.

Now that I'm older, more confident, and receiving more attention from women, I find myself wondering whether I'm committing too early or missing out on something I'll eventually regret.

I work in a corporate environment where I sometimes see people who are already in relationships flirting with or pursuing other people. Seeing this makes me question things even more. On one hand, I know how difficult it can be to find someone loyal and trustworthy, and I don't want to throw away a genuinely good relationship over thoughts that might eventually pass. On the other hand, I wonder whether I'm choosing to settle down because this relationship is right for me or because I'm afraid I won't find someone I can trust as much.

The part I'm struggling to admit

I know her past isn't something she did to me. She was single, she had every right to make her own choices, and I wasn't even in her life at the time. I don't blame her for that.

I also understand the usual advice: the past can't be changed, the present matters more, and I need to work on my insecurities. I agree with those things intellectually. I'm not looking for people to tell me that she's a bad person or that she owes me anything because I've been a good partner.

But I think there's something deeper going on.

Growing up, I had this idealised picture of what my future relationship would look like. I wanted to meet someone, fall in love, experience those firsts together, and build something special from the beginning.

I've worked incredibly hard on myself over the years. I've tried to become more attractive, disciplined, educated, and financially successful. I put a lot of effort into becoming someone who could build the kind of life and relationship I'd always dreamed of.

And sometimes, when I think about our different experiences, I feel an overwhelming sense of unfairness. It feels as though I spent years working towards something that other people got to experience without having to work nearly as hard for it.

I know relationships aren't rewards for hard work, and nobody owes me anything for the effort I've put into myself. But knowing that doesn't make the feeling disappear.

I think part of me is grieving an experience I imagined having, while another part is terrified of losing a relationship that is genuinely good.

I'm aware that these feelings might be rooted in insecurity, comparison, unrealistic expectations, or some combination of all three. I'm willing to work on myself. I just don't know whether the answer is to keep working through these feelings until they lose their power, or to acknowledge that I may want a different kind of relationship experience before settling down.

What I'm asking for

I'm not asking Reddit to decide whether my girlfriend is good enough for me. She is a person I love and respect, and I don't want her judged for choices she made before meeting me.

I'm asking people who have been in a similar situation, especially those who have dealt with retroactive jealousy or struggled with feeling like they missed out on dating and sexual experiences:

If you stayed and worked through these feelings, did they genuinely fade over time? What actually helped?

If you eventually left a good relationship because you felt you needed to experience life independently, did you regret that decision?

How do you distinguish between an insecurity you should work through and a genuine desire for a different life?

For those who married their first sexual partner, did you ever regret not experiencing intimacy with other people, or did that concern become less important over time?

How do I stop comparing my life and experiences with those of other men without simply suppressing what I feel?

I'm scared of making the wrong decision in either direction. I don't want to lose someone I could have built a beautiful life with because I couldn't make peace with something that happened before me. But I also don't want to get married while secretly feeling that I've missed out on life, only for that resentment to grow later.

Please be honest with me, even if the answer is uncomfortable. I'd especially appreciate advice from people who have actually lived through something similar, rather than just telling me what I should feel or what the morally correct answer is.

I genuinely want to understand myself better before making a decision that could affect both our lives.

​

So well I ( 19F ), had a toxic relationship for 6 months with a guy who was twenty and recently I ended it, yet I miss him for no reason. I knew I needed to end it, I chose to ignore the red flags but they were getting too much. We were together for 5 months without a tag and then 1 month with one, he has twenty three exes and would constantly test me on questions like I am not ready, what if I cheat, I am a red flag, I have anger issues and I would simply say that I accept you for who you are.

During the 5 months, he would go like I am dating someone else and then go like I was lying to test you and then again do this all over again. He did this to see if he was ready enough or not and only wanted to commit once he was fully ready for commitment. When we were together officially, he started planning marriage, kids and the future and all that.

We would fight, he would get drunk and yell at me, and made me block people, would get jealous of me talking to anyone, would fight if I stayed too quiet, and basically just I was walking on eggshells. It was as if I have to think 10 times before speaking. He would put all the blame on me and make me feel guilty for everything saying I didn't care, I didn't love him enough.

He was having a rough day and I was too, so I called him an hour late because I was not well as he made me eat egg, which I was allergic too, I told him I can't egg but he was like don't be scared, just have it on life. I got sick after that so I didn't call him and was resting, during that one hour only he had a panic attack and when I called him he started yelling that you are never there for me, never care about me, don't ever think about being there for me, never bothering about me.

And all this is just the tip of the iceberg, I am not sure but he definitely took advantage as well by getting me drunk as I don't remember what happened that day.

My mental space is being messed up and not able to focus, if anyone has advice I would really love that. I have been going to a therapist as well.

​

We just had a break up , we were such a perfect couple my family knew about this her siblings knew about this , our whole college knew , we both had different branches in college so there was a guy let's say Adam he always made me so insecure like his activities and i knew that he likes her and even she knew , we had literally so many fights discussions related to him one day we had a huge fight and she told him everything about me my family and she even gave screenshots and acted according to him because I trusted her so much I don't usually checked her phone but she knew I hate that Adam guy , so she came crying and said she's so sorry and she don't know how to manage everything so I calmed her down I gave her reassurance that nothing will change between us and all and we discussed she will only talk to him for college purposes she said it herself mind it , so after days she started talking normally to him then we had a fight again and so on , so now lemme clarify we live together like we both have flats in same society so one day she was sleeping on my flat and I had fever so i slept early i told her am not well and made taunts don't talk to adam guy a few times but all night till morning she was talking to him so at 4 am I got up and went in hall to sleep on the couch and then she randomly came at 7 am that you were right about him and now we need to break-up cause adam and her are in a relationship from 2 hours , now she was maybe still connected so she said am gonna sleep here cause am tired so she slept and I managed to crack her password and did alot like I posted an insta story of us together, deleted chats from whatsapp and insta of Adam and her , and send "bro thought he had a chance 😂✌🏻" , after watching our story adam removed her and said fr to the whatsapp I said fr and he yapped why she did that to him he only helped her so I said from her phone because we had a fight and she was vulnerable and he got the chance , so that Convo ended now and she woke up and we had a huge fight and she broke up with me for that

Bf was really upset for some reason so I asked him what happened. He said he didn’t want to talk about it but I was really concerned so I asked him multiple times after which he kind of snapped at me.

Hello everyone 22M here from northeast. Tried many dating apps and IRL stuffs but didn't worked any, so trying here now

Currently a last year PG student

Height: 5'10

Weight: 65

Body type: athletic

HMU if anyone is interested in having a convo

​I need advice on navigating a rough situation in my 3-year relationship. We are both in college, live in the same apartment complex, and our families are close family friends.

​Over the last 3 months, her behavior shifted drastically:

​Barely any daily initiation, hours-late replies, and zero effort on my recent birthday (not even a small gesture, just a dry text).

​Physical affection and intimacy have completely stopped over these past 3 months. If I try to hold her hand or put an arm around her, she pulls away.

​She cites college pressure and lack of bandwidth, but I am also balancing college coursework and career prep while still making time for her and helping her out.

​Whenever I try to communicate about this emotional distance, she brings up resolved conflicts from our 1st year: "You didn't give me enough time back then, I cried a lot, and my NEET exam got ruined. Plus other past mistakes, so my mood stays off." Those issues were resolved years ago, but they keep coming up whenever I ask for basic effort.

​Yesterday on the terrace, she pushed my hand away when I reached out. When I asked about the ongoing detachment, she brought up the NEET exam and past mistakes again. Out of frustration from the repetitive dead-end conversation, my voice got loud, I pulled my hand away when she tried to hold it, and I walked downstairs.

​Later, after she sent a dry "ye kya tareeka hai", I replied acknowledging that raising my voice and abruptly walking off was the wrong reaction, while explaining that the core communication issue still matters to me. Her response was simply: "Koi baat nahi take care." Neither of us has reached out since.

​What I need advice on:

​How do I break the cycle of past forgiven mistakes being brought into current relationship conversations?

​Since we live in the same apartment building and our families are close, what is the best way to handle day-to-day encounters (lifts, stairs) and set healthy boundaries without creating family awkwardness?

​What is the most constructive way to approach our next conversation to address this detachment, or should I step back and give her space until she reaches out?

​TL;DR: GF of 3 years became emotionally and physically distant 3 months ago and repeatedly brings up 2-year-old forgiven conflicts during arguments. She closed our recent confrontation with a dismissive "take care." We live in the same building and families are close. Need advice on setting boundaries and next communication steps.

Sorry I used Ai to frame the situation properly so everyone can understand easily.

I (30M) had a 3-year relationship end six years ago and haven't really put myself out there since. This month I developed a crush on a woman from another team at work.

Over a few weeks I said hi and tried to start small conversations. She was always polite and sometimes said hi first, but never asked anything back or kept the chat going except the name. Yesterday, when we were alone, she answered my question, put her headphones back on, and left. I tried talking 3 times but never a question back from her.

So I've stepped back: no more timing my breaks to run into her, no looking toward her desk, just a friendly hi if we cross paths.

I've accepted it, but she's still constantly on my mind and I have to stop myself checking her profile.
Am I doing the right thing, or did I give up too early?
How do you get over a crush on someone you see at work?

Actually I liked a girl (N) and we both know each other since class 11th. We are good friends in school but as we both started college, we got distinct but connected on socials. As 3 years passed, I get a random dm from her asking about college as she gets admission in her master's. So I responded and since then we chat like daily from 4 months now.

Now some context about something. I really liked a different girl since class 9th and I confessed her in my 12th and got rejected and (N) doesn't know this at all. When we are chatting about our relationship status in those 3 years of college, I tell her all of this and she tells me about her's relationship status too which was normal.

About Her: She is soo pretty and trust this, if I said someone pretty by heart, then she is indeed soo pretty and beautiful. Aithest and liberal. Never been into a proper relationship just a short middle 7 days relationship. She got some random dm's too every day from men and she totally ignores them. She also sends me some ss of men's sending her dm's.

About me: Neven been in a relationship too. Totally average looking guy, atheist and a bit leftist. The think is I am shy in the school but in college I opened my space and now I am very much comfortable around girls too and vice versa.

About 2 months ago, she send me reel of a couple playing some game and I said that I want to play it too and we played it together. I really enjoyed this too. We have joined blend on Instagram and our 1st person sharelist too. But when I asked her too let's meet, she made excuses and I totally respects this. When there is my birthday she wished me around at 10am although I expected to wish me at 12:00 am. She likes my almost every story and asks me questions too about my day too. But when I send her some flirty reply she just ignores it completely.

When her dog dies, she only tells me aside of her female friends.

Now the main question is, she knows me well now, my thoughts, my future goals etc. And she also knows that I am looking for someone to date but didn't know if she knows that I like her (although she responds me without any hesitation). But in last week she replyed me after 24 hours and when I asked hervthat anything happens to her, she tells me that she is feeling low as she is wasting time without doing anything. I calms her and tried to laugh her and she did laugh. When she goes to mela she sends me voicenotes too describing how much she enjoys it too like randomly.

Does she only sees me as a random friend or have something for mee. I can add details to it as per the suggestions too.

Awaiting for the response

I am 25M with 22F in 2 year relationship 6 months together 1.5 year long distance Sorry to all I am new to reddit my story is big but I need help urgently.....She and I are CA student in tier 3 city we met at articleship she was in relationship of 4 year with her previous boyfriend jo nalla unemployed hai then she met we connect she made all the advance then we got in relationship but later I found out about her old boyfriend and how she lied to me about everything .... We have 6 months or relationship and then 1year of long distance which was mostly fight now it's my exam in 10 days ahe told me she wants to explore the world so what she wanna do she has been not free and all (her parents are the most open people I have seen by my small city standard ) they knew about both relationship still they support her but now she is like you are putting too much restriction on me I want be free and I was like okya I will be more free and open to you but now she is like I want to have tatoo I want to go to pub I want to drink I want to solo travel which I was like we just wanted a quite and easy loveing life what should I do please tell we both are from conservative family please help I am too depressed by this .....and I am trying to make sense to her like this is good for year then you will regret I just want that old lovely babu Shona love not this help ..I need right now as my exam attempt is already fucked because of this as she wanted to break up but I begged her to stay please give me advice what should I do many people are are advising to focus on study but right now my whole life I falling apart and I just came over suicidal thoughts but I will not do it because of my mom

​

Very long story, summarized with AI

I'm looking for advice, especially from people who have experienced an intense emotional attachment to a coworker or lost a close friendship while still having to see that person regularly.

I'm 26M, working in an office, and over the past several months I became extremely close to a female coworker. We were never officially in a relationship. I developed a strong emotional attachment to her, and looking back, I realise I invested far more emotionally than I should have.

How the friendship developed

We became close through spending time together, going to the gym, having chai and meals, talking about personal matters, and sharing everyday experiences. We could be unfiltered around each other, and I genuinely enjoyed her company. We had routines and memories that became an important part of my life.

She had been through previous relationships, including a long-term relationship of around seven years. She sometimes shared her relationship problems and other personal struggles with me. I became someone she could talk to, and I genuinely wanted to be there for her.

Over time, I started organising a lot of my day around her. I looked forward to seeing her, working out together, logging out around the same time, and spending time outside work.

I wasn't necessarily expecting her to become my girlfriend. I valued the closeness itself. But I now realise that I became emotionally dependent on the friendship and started expecting a level of consistency that she might not have wanted or been able to offer.

I also overhelped her at work

This is something I really need to acknowledge. I went out of my way to help her with work, sometimes more than I would have helped other colleagues. I made myself available, helped with tasks, and was willing to put in extra effort for her.

Eventually, people around us started noticing how much I was helping her and how often I was available to her. Looking back, I think I was allowing my personal attachment to influence my professional behaviour. I wasn't necessarily doing these things with a conscious expectation of repayment, but I was investing heavily in the connection and hoping the closeness would remain consistent.

Now I realise that I neglected my own priorities and boundaries. I want to learn how to help people without making one person the centre of my attention or allowing personal feelings to influence how I work.

Things became complicated

There was an incident one night when we were spending time together. While I was half-asleep, I tried to cuddle her, and my hand ended up on her stomach while she was in bed. Initially, she said I might have been asleep or dreaming and that she needed space. Later, she told me she had actually been awake and that being touched at night was connected to past trauma for her.

I felt terrible about it. I understand that whatever my state of mind or intention was, her boundaries mattered, and I needed to take her experience seriously. I have reflected on this a lot, and I don't want to minimise how she felt.

We subsequently had an emotional conversation, cried, and consoled each other. At one point, we were able to talk and be close again, and I thought we could eventually continue being good friends, with appropriate boundaries.

However, things gradually changed. She seemed much more distant with me while remaining warm and conversational with other male colleagues. I noticed her initiating conversations with other guys, chatting with them on Instagram, and sometimes appearing flirtatious. I don't know what her intentions were, and I recognise that she is free to have whatever friendships she wants. But seeing this was painful because I remembered how close we had once been.

I found it particularly difficult that other people at work seemed to see her as a warm, fun, easygoing person, while I was experiencing this distance and struggling with everything that had happened between us. I started wondering whether I had misunderstood the friendship or whether I had mattered as much to her as she had mattered to me.

I also found myself thinking about her past relationships and the attention she seemed to enjoy from other men. I know I cannot determine her character or intentions from these observations, but I struggled with the contrast between the person I felt I knew privately and the person everyone else seemed to experience.

I tried confronting the situation, even though conflict is extremely difficult for me

I generally find confrontation difficult. I tend to overthink, blame myself, and worry about upsetting people. Despite that, I tried to communicate with her because I couldn't continue pretending that everything felt normal.

I wanted to understand whether I had done something wrong, whether she wanted to end the friendship, or whether we could at least establish where we stood. I also struggled with the fact that she could be warm with others while barely engaging with me.

Eventually, I contacted her to ask if we could speak in person. She initially wasn't available, and I pushed for a conversation when she wasn't comfortable with it. She became irritated and told me not to call whenever I felt like it because she wouldn't always be available.

She said we were fine but that we would be colleagues, and later made it clear that she didn't want to keep revisiting the issue. She felt there was nothing more to discuss.

I apologised for pushing. I still felt hurt because I wanted a conversation where we could both explain our experiences, but I recognise that she didn't owe me repeated conversations or the particular kind of closure I wanted.

Recently, I returned her belongings and spoke to her in person. I wished her well, acknowledged the good memories we had shared, and said that I would cherish the good parts of the friendship even though we couldn't continue with the same level of closeness.

She didn't say much, and I don't know what she took away from that conversation. But surprisingly, I felt lighter afterward. I think I had finally said what I wanted to say, and I don't intend to initiate another personal conversation.

Where I am struggling now

The difficult part is that we still work together. I can't simply remove her from my environment.

I'm worried about seeing her at lunch, during team outings, or in everyday office conversations. If she's laughing and chatting with other guys while being distant with me, I know it will trigger the same feelings again.

I tend to interpret small things, replay conversations, wonder whether she remembers our friendship, and feel hurt that she seems to be moving on normally while I am still dealing with the emotional aftermath.

Part of me feels that I was there for her, gave her a lot of time and help, and tried hard to preserve the friendship. Another part knows that my expectations and attachment became unhealthy, and that I cannot expect someone to reciprocate closeness simply because I cared deeply.

I don't want to resent her, monitor her interactions, compete for her attention, or make her regret anything. I want to stop caring about what she thinks of me and get back to my own life.

I have my career, fitness goals, other friends, and interests that I neglected while focusing so much on this friendship. I want to rebuild my confidence, improve my professional skills, and become emotionally independent.

My questions

1. Has anyone experienced becoming emotionally attached to a coworker or friend who eventually became distant? What genuinely helped you move on?

2. How do you behave around someone every day when you have so many memories with them? Do you maintain normal professional courtesy or deliberately minimise contact?

3. How do I handle seeing her being warm with other guys without comparing myself to them or feeling replaceable?

4. How do I stop overhelping people, especially someone I care about, and learn to maintain boundaries without becoming cold or selfish?

5. For people who struggle with conflict and overthinking, how did you learn to tolerate the possibility of being misunderstood without repeatedly explaining yourself?

6. How do I stop replaying the friendship when I'm tired or alone, especially at night?

7. Looking at this situation, what patterns should I work on so I don't repeat the same thing in future friendships or relationships?

I'm not looking for validation that she's a bad person or that I was entirely right. I know I made mistakes, and I want to take responsibility for my part without hating myself or dismissing the ways I genuinely cared.

I'd really appreciate honest advice from people who have been through something similar, especially those who had to move on while continuing to see the person at work.

TL;DR: I became deeply attached to a female coworker, overinvested emotionally and professionally, and struggled when she became distant. There was also a serious boundary-related incident that I have reflected on and taken responsibility for. After trying to discuss the changing friendship, she made it clear that she wanted to remain colleagues rather than return to the previous closeness. I returned her belongings and said goodbye, and now I want to move forward. How do I stop ruminating, handle everyday workplace interactions, and build healthier emotional boundaries?

I had one boyfriend, we were quite happy and I was looking forward to marry him till I discovered that he was getting physical with around 9 women behind my back (hookups and all) when I confronted him, he told me things like I earn less than a sex worker per day, that my father is going to be dead soon (he had a surgery) etc. It is obvious we broke up..

Now I wish to marry and I can't come to terms with the fact that arrange marriage is the only option left for me when I always wanted to have a love marriage.

I've been repeatedly seeing all around me what a gamble and nightmare, arrange marriages are turning out to be. On the top of it, my family and cousins, all of them did love marriages and were hopeful of me to have a partner on my own, but fate had another plans.

The way my married cousins shame me for being single, for not having a love life and not walking down the aisle of love marriage... I feel as if life has failed me miserably. That I've turned out to be a failure in life. Imagine being so bad that nobody chosr me for being his wife.

This thought consistently keep playing on a loop on my mind and I've completely stopped to enjoy anything in my life, be it a promotion, travel, a new project anything and everything simply because I'm being made to feel that I'm a failure as I'm not gonna have a love marriage.

I myself feel so bad that what's the point of having everything when the one I loved dumped me, and nobody else in 26 years of life found me worthy enough to be a wife.

​

I have a friend and I'm wondering whether she's interested in me romantically or just sees me as a friend.

- We've had several long calls, sometimes 40 minutes to 2.5 hours. She initiates calls too.

- She's said she wants a boyfriend and that when she gives a guy signs, it's his job to approach her.

- She has very few male friends; with other guys, she mostly makes small talk.

- Recently, we went on a 4-hour one-on-one outing. She called me herself to reconfirm the plan. We walked around, sat by the sea, went to a café (about 1.5 hours there), and continued wandering afterward.

- We discussed her ideal boyfriend, and she said she wants someone taller than every other guy. She knows I'm 6'3", but she didn't explicitly connect it to me.

- She sometimes touches my arm while laughing. During the outing, she also playfully insisted I eat vegetarian food and physically stopped me from looking at the non-veg menu while laughing.

- She's mentioned twice that she'd ditched her friends' plans to meet me.

Am I reading too much into these signs, or is romantic interest a genuine possibility? Please be honest and point out the counterarguments too.

I spent most of my 20s abroad and I eventually moved back to Bangalore. Once I moved back I started seeing someone, it was going really well until it wasn’t. Ever since the breakup I’ve realized how lonely I actually am. I’ve got no friends here. Even before when I lived in India I didn’t have many friends (I’m more of an introvert but joyous around the people I’m comfortable with). But they were solid friends.

The friends I made in my 20s are all abroad and the friends I made during my teens have all moved to different countries as well.

It’s soo hard to make friends once you are out of school and college. Ever since I moved back I’ve put myself out there. Going to book clubs, playing sports, going to the gym, and so on. But I can seem to find my crowd.

I’m hoping a few good friends come out of this post. I would really love doing the things I’m doing with people and also try new things.

I (28M) and my partner (28F) have been together for 4 years and have known each other since childhood. We love each other deeply and are considering marriage, but we have one major issue we can’t find a convincing solution to.

She recently secured a very stable Assistant Professor job in a smaller town, ~8 hours from Pune. Realistically, this could be her job for the next 30 years, and getting an equivalent position in Pune or another major city is extremely difficult.

I work in tech/product and am based in Pune. My future opportunities will mostly be in major tech cities. I’ve also bought a home in Pune, and my parents live here. Permanently relocating to her town would be very difficult for me professionally and personally.
The biggest difference is our idea of an acceptable marriage.

She’s comfortable with long distance for even 7–10 years if our careers require it. We’d meet during vacations/weekends, use WFH flexibility when available, and travel to each other.

For me, long distance is fine temporarily, but I don’t want it to become the default structure of my marriage. I want a shared home, everyday companionship, a common social life, and eventually to raise our children with both parents physically present.

Kids make this much harder. Neither of us wants to live away from our child during the early years. She would likely have the child with her because her job is location-bound, while my career may require me to remain in Pune or another tech city.

She says she’d happily move if she eventually gets an equivalent opportunity in a major city. The problem is that realistically, that opportunity may never come. Neither of us wants the other to sacrifice their career.

My biggest fear is that we’re considering marriage based on the hope that circumstances will eventually change, while our current trajectories suggest we could remain geographically separated for many years.

For people who’ve experienced long-distance marriage, especially after kids: is this actually sustainable for 7–10+ years? Or are we overlooking a fundamental incompatibility because we love each other

Please be candid. I’d rather hear uncomfortable opinions now than discover the reality five years into the marriage.

I'm in my early 20s, and I've never been in a relationship. Recently, I've started wondering whether I'm just unlucky in love or whether there's something I'm doing wrong.

Back in class 11, I met a girl I was really attracted to. We talked for a while, but I never confessed my feelings because I was dealing with personal concerns and wasn't confident enough to take that step.

A year later, we ended up at the same college, studying the same course. We started talking again, and this time we genuinely connected. I'd approach her in the canteen, and she'd sometimes reach out to me on Instagram. We talked almost every week for about a year.

Eventually, I gathered the courage to tell her I was interested in her. She kindly explained that she already had a boyfriend and that I would find someone better suited for me.

It hurt, and it took me quite some time to move on. I respected her decision and kept the fact that she had a boyfriend private, as she'd asked me to.

Eventually, I told myself I wouldn't fall in love again.

Fast-forward to now. I'm working at a BPO, and I've recently found myself attracted to another girl from my batch. She's quite popular, and one day she approached me and started a conversation. My colleagues noticed that we were talking and started teasing me about it.

During a conversation with the group, we eventually found out that she also has a boyfriend. She even mentioned that she's serious about him and intends to marry him.

Of course, I haven't confessed anything to her. She doesn't even know I'm attracted to her, and we still talk normally.

Now my colleagues keep teasing me about being single and trying to set me up with other girls or encourage me to get on Hinge and hook up with someone. I usually turn them down because that's not really what I'm looking for.

Here's the thing: I'm not blaming either of these girls. They're both genuinely sweet and caring people, and I respect their relationships. I'm not angry at their boyfriends, either.

But I can't help wondering why this keeps happening.

Both times, I developed feelings for someone without knowing she was already in a relationship. Both times, I found myself admiring someone I thought was genuinely special, only to discover that a romantic relationship wasn't possible.

I know two experiences aren't a huge sample size, and I understand that nobody owes me a relationship just because I like them.

Still, sometimes I wonder whether my looks, my personality, my career, or my lack of experience make me someone women wouldn't choose. Then I feel lonely watching other people experience something I've never had, and eventually I just feel disappointed and tired of thinking about it.

I want to experience what it's like to love someone and have those feelings reciprocated. I want a genuine relationship, not just to lose my virginity because my colleagues think I should.

So, for people who've experienced something similar, how did you deal with it? Am I simply overthinking two unfortunate situations, or is there something I should change about how I approach dating and relationships?

I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice, including perspectives I might not have considered.( Used chatgpt for polish)

I'm originally from a European country with a large Muslim population, but I currently live in the US. My family is Muslim, but I'm not religious, and my family isn't particularly strict about religion either. They have faith and practice certain religious rituals, but they're also open-minded. I grew up in an environment that was heavily influenced by Western culture, so I'd consider myself fairly liberal, although I sometimes have more conservative thoughts and values because of my family and the society I grew up in.

I'm currently dating an Indian Muslim guy. From what he's told me, he isn't particularly religious either, but his family is. They seem to be very close-knit, although he can also be stubborn and independent when it comes to making decisions about his own life.

For example, his family is trying to find a girl for him to marry, and he tells me that he turns down the suggestions they make. However, they don't know that he's in a relationship with me. I haven't pressured him too much about this because I understand that relationships outside of marriage can be a sensitive subject in some Muslim families. Still, I can't say I'm happy with our current situation.

I want a relationship with someone I can envision a future with, someone I can build a life and a family with. However, whenever I think about what that would mean in this relationship, including accepting his family and potentially becoming part of their lives, I start to feel suffocated. This is despite the fact that I haven't even met them yet. I've heard some horror stories about cultural differences and expectations in Indian families, particularly when it comes to marriage, and I think those stories may be influencing how I feel. I know I shouldn't generalize, but I can't completely ignore these concerns either.

What I want for myself is a more Western-style family dynamic, marriage, and lifestyle. I want independence and the freedom to build a life with my partner based on our own choices. Honestly, I don't feel confident that I would have that with this guy, although I love him a lot.

At the same time, I want to use logic rather than letting my emotions make all my decisions. I feel much more connected to Western culture, especially European and American culture, and I sometimes wonder whether our cultural backgrounds and expectations might make us incompatible in the long run.

I grew up with a very small family, and I've always been a little jealous of people who have large, close-knit families. But now that I might actually become part of one, the idea doesn't feel as appealing as I thought it would.

I don't want to make assumptions about him or his family based on stereotypes, and I know every family is different. But I also don't want to ignore my own needs and end up in a marriage where I feel restricted or overwhelmed by family expectations.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I overthinking things based on cultural stereotypes and stories I've heard, or are these feelings worth paying attention to? How can I figure out whether this relationship is genuinely a good fit for me long-term when I love him but feel uncertain about the kind of life we'd build together?

my bf is fighting w me cz he wants to attend the wedding of couple , who is his ex’s cousin ( the bride is ) and the guy became his friend .

i told him they became your friends only through your ex why do u even want to go knowing it would hurt me .

to which he says stuff like no , they r friends , I say am I not ur first priority , u have a new gf now , why even it matters to you , if its hurtful to your gf that going there in

their wedding would be visiting ur ex joint fam function you can skip that right ? Your friend will understand .
but he says nothing will change my answer I will go . etc

idk the wedding is in jan .
I tried explaining to him that your first priority should be your partner but he just shows ego .

wht should I do ?

I really love him , and it hurts me that he cannot understand that simple equation that you prioritize your partner over anyone else . Esp over people you met solely through ur ex and who is also ur ex’s cousin .the wedding even his ex will be there too( she’s married now though and had cheated on my bf with her present husband )

I really do care and love him , hence it hurt me so much that how is he not understanding prioritising ur gf . Shouldn’t someone that loves you prioritise u over anyone else ?

I don’t want him to ruin everything doing this .

what should I do ?

So I dated this guy for around 10–11 months. We were long-distance and had met twice. Things ended around the beginning of last year after a mutual friend told me he was getting close to another girl and telling her he wasn't in a relationship. I confronted him, he blocked me everywhere, and we basically broke up over text. Never got a proper explanation, but whatever, I moved on.

Now, almost a year later, this man has suddenly decided to reappear in the most random ways possible.

A few days ago, I was talking to our mutual friend on Snapchat, not knowing my ex was at his place. He randomly sent me a voice note saying, “Hello, [my name].” I recognized his voice immediately.

The next day, I posted a picture on WhatsApp after visiting a pandal, and guess who liked my status? This guy. The funniest part is that I'd changed his contact name to "Manwhore" during the breakup and completely forgotten about it. So imagine my reaction when that notification popped up😭😭😭😭🥲

Then our mutual friend sent me a screenshot of their conversation. Apparently, my ex had sent him a post about forgiving your ex and told him to forward it to me. 💀

And because apparently this wasn't weird enough already, I also got some updates about the girl he got close to back then. From what our friend told me, they had an FWB situation, but she didn't want commitment. She's moving abroad, and he's supposedly willing to do long-distance with her. She's apparently been telling him off and calling him a bad person. I don't know the full story, and honestly, that's their business.

THEN, yesterday, I noticed he'd added me on Snapchat again, despite having blocked me before. No message, nothing. I had a maths exam, so I didn't bother checking it properly. When I opened Snapchat after getting home, he'd already removed me again.

I've deleted his contact and removed or blocked him wherever necessary. I'm happy in my current relationship, and I'm not trying to get back with this guy. I genuinely don't care about reconnecting with him.

But WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SEQUENCE OF EVENTS? 😭 You disappear for almost a year, randomly send a voice note, like my status, send a forgiveness post through a mutual friend, add me on Snapchat, and then remove me before I even do anything?

I was literally busy trying to pass maths. Why am I getting these unnecessary side quests almost a year later?

I(23M) and my gf(20F) are in a long distance relationship and my gf is going to watch football match on Sunday night with her roommate and roomate's male friend and after the match she is going to stay at her Male friends flat with her roommate. She is saying that her pg will close so she can't go back to her pg. This is there 2nd outing in last 15 days and this boy came suddenly as she never mentioned about him earlier and also this boy is her roommates best friend. When i confronted to her about this she said that i don't trust her and all emotions thing's that "i also deserve some fun" and all. What should I do or i am overthinking about it. Plz suggest something