Koi toh batao?

What can i say, we met back in november of 2024, it has been a lovely relationship, i have 0 complaints, she has been a really loving partner.

Her parents have been pressurizing her for marraige since 2024, and now that she's about to finish her masters, she disclosed about me to her parents without asking me.

She told me if she hadn't done that then they would've fixed her marriage with someone else. I didn't even know what to tell her.

I have never made any kind of fake promises to her, my view on marriage has been clear since the start that I'll tell my family once i get a stable job and become financially independent, but she doesn't understand this. And is now pressurizing me to tell my parents.

With all this pressure i cannot think straight, and one thing I'm sure of is that i cannot disclose about this relationship to my parents as of now, i feel so pressurized, i tried telling her that, but she doesn't wanna listen, she says we don't have to marry yet, we just have to get our marriage fixed,

I'm finding it quite hard to cope.

What should i do ?? She has given me till holi to talk to my parents.

Now that I've thought about this, i don't really want to get married, at all, and i don't have the guts to say this to her face as she will feel betrayed, what would you do if you were to put your feet in my shoes.

I recently got out of a 7-year relationship, and I met a guy not long ago who has been really sweet to me. I honestly don’t know how to describe it, but I like talking to him. We text a lot, share things with each other, and have started getting pretty close emotionally.
I’ve kept things casual because I know we don’t really have a future together. He knows about my ex and my breakup, and he also knows that my parents have started looking for a guy for me through arranged marriage.
The thing is, I think I’m starting to like him, and that scares me. After being in a relationship for seven years, I don’t want to get attached to someone again so easily, especially when I already know where this could lead. At the same time, I genuinely enjoy talking to him, and I don’t want to cut off a connection just because I’m scared of my own feelings.
I’m also confused about whether I’m actually starting to like him for who he is or whether I’m just emotionally vulnerable after my breakup and enjoying the comfort and attention.
I don’t want to hurt myself or him by letting this go too far, but I also don’t know if distancing myself is the right thing to do.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I continue talking to him but set emotional boundaries, or should I step back before I get more attached?
I’d really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been through something similar.

Kskslslmwnwnwmmssmsks

I'm a surgical resident doing extremely harsh duties. it's soul sulking. My husband is in a 9 to 5 job and gets ample time to relax and unwind.

It was a love marriage after dating for 2 years. we live separately from both our families in the city where I'm training.

I'm quite active on instagram i put stories and post my favorite photos randomly without reason. I also randomly archive and unarchive my posts depending on how I'm feeling just for timepass since instagram is my only source of entertainment in between duties.

My husband is not, he only uses instagram for watching reels. But here's the problem, his fyp is mostly filled with semi naked women. I don't mind it as i have been unable to look after my looks since residency so i felt I'll let him watch these women. Can't say it doesn't hurt but i never brought it up either.

Here's what happened:

1. Anyway, i uploaded a family picture with his family from diwali last year, in a multi picture post with 1 family photo and others were my solo. I don't remember when I archived that post, along with many other posts. totally forgot about it as it's not something to think about either? Its just a freaking photo on instagram.

2. He opened and read my chats with my best (and only) friend, where i was saying marriage rocks but it only sucks when i have to visit my in laws house during festivals.

I've never said that to him, nor have i ever said i will not go to your house, I've never asked to live separately or anything like that. I have extremely good relationships with all his family.

He has joined the removal of photo from my feed to that message and has accused me of not wanting to keep relations with his family.

Now he's been giving me the silent treatment since so many days. I come back home after exhausting duties to a man in my home who treats me like I'm non existent .

I don't understand how a simple post on instagram is enough to ruin a marriage?

And also I'm allowed to have my inner thoughts right? Marriage is difficult for women, having to go to someone elses house for festivals instead of your own is difficult. it absolutely sucks. Why am i not allowed to share that thought with my best friend?

How can that be held against me?

I'm 23M, and my girlfriend is 26F. We've been together for a few months, and things have become much more serious than either of us initially expected.

When I first met her, I wasn't looking for anything serious. I was actually considering deleting the dating app I met her on. We started talking, went on a few dates, and eventually became physically intimate.

Initially, I thought we probably wouldn't see each other again. She apparently felt similarly. But we kept meeting, and somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for her and told her about them.

She wasn't sure about her feelings at first and thought it might just be a phase. I decided to be honest about my emotions regardless of what happened.

Fast forward to today, and we're practically living together. We spend a lot of time with each other, have developed a routine, and have become emotionally attached. When either of us goes away for a few days, we miss each other quite a lot.

She's told me that our connection feels different from her previous experiences and that she feels much more connected to me.

The problem is that I don't know what our future looks like.

I'm currently working as a software developer, but I want better career opportunities. I've been considering moving abroad for my master's degree or finding a job somewhere else. However, I'm not particularly passionate about moving abroad itself. My primary motivation is improving my career and becoming independent.

Recently, I've also been considering remote jobs, which might give me more flexibility.

If I hadn't met her, I probably wouldn't be thinking about these decisions so emotionally. Now, the possibility of leaving makes me genuinely sad.

I don't want to sacrifice my career for a relationship, but I also don't want to give up something meaningful just because I'm afraid of an uncertain future.

THE LONG-DISTANCE ISSUE

We've discussed what might happen if I eventually move away, but we tend to avoid the conversation by saying we'll figure it out when the time comes.

Early in our relationship, she told me that physical intimacy is extremely important to her and that she doesn't think she could live without it. I understood this as a hint that long distance might not work for her.

Recently, we had a deeper conversation about our relationship. She said something along the lines of feeling like we're living in a dreamy world and that there will eventually be consequences.

We didn't discuss what she meant by that, but I suspect she was talking about our relationship potentially ending.

She also expressed how difficult it would be to live without me.

This is where I'm confused. I know she cares about me, and I believe our connection is genuine. But I sometimes worry that when the time comes, I'll be the only one willing to try long distance.

I don't want to assume that she'll leave, but I also don't want to be naive about the situation.

SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S BEEN ON MY MIND

She's been honest with me about her past. During her college years, she cheated on two partners. In one case, she cheated on someone she considered to be in a good relationship with for about a year. In the other, she cheated on her then-partner by kissing another guy, and later cheated on that guy with the first person.

She told me both incidents happened when she was drunk. She regrets what happened, apologised to the people involved, and takes responsibility for her actions. However, when I've tried to understand what led to those decisions, she says she doesn't really know and that she did those things while drunk.

I appreciate that she told me about this early on, and I'm not judging her for having had multiple partners. I understand that her dating experiences during college were different from mine.

However, knowing that she cheated in two relationships during college does make me wonder about trust and commitment, especially when I'm already uncertain about our future.

She also has a longtime male friend whom she's planning to meet on a trip. I felt a little insecure about it, but I told her how I felt and also told her I wanted her to go. I don't want my insecurities to control her decisions, and she invited me to accompany her.

I'm trying to learn how to handle these feelings without becoming controlling or constantly seeking reassurance.

ONE MORE THING: COMMUNICATION

Sometimes, when we're apart, she becomes distant over text. Occasionally, she'll message me out of nowhere saying she's not in the mood to talk.

She's told me that she's moody, and I understand that people have different communication styles.

However, when this happens, I sometimes start wondering whether something is wrong or whether her feelings have changed.

When we're together, things generally feel good. We enjoy each other's company, express affection, and miss each other when we're apart.

I'm trying to distinguish between normal changes in someone's mood and something I should actually be concerned about.

WHAT I'M STRUGGLING WITH

I think I've fallen much deeper for her than I expected.

Part of me wants to stop thinking about the future and enjoy what we have. Another part of me is afraid that the more attached I become, the more painful it will be if we eventually separate.

I also don't know whether I'm overthinking the situation because I'm afraid of losing her, or whether these are legitimate concerns that I should address before becoming even more invested.

I don't want to end a good relationship prematurely because of something that hasn't happened. But I also don't want to ignore important incompatibilities simply because I'm happy right now.

I'd really appreciate honest opinions on a few things:

1. Should I simply enjoy the relationship and let things develop naturally, even though there's a possibility I'll have to move away next year?

2. Is it reasonable to hope for long distance when my girlfriend has already expressed doubts about it, particularly because physical intimacy matters so much to her?

3. How much weight should I give her history of cheating? She takes responsibility for it, but doesn't seem to understand why she did it.

4. How should I respond when she becomes distant over text or says she's not in the mood to talk, without becoming anxious or appearing needy?

5. Am I overthinking the possibility of losing her, or should I be having more serious conversations about our future?

I'm not looking for people to tell me that everything will work out. I'd genuinely appreciate perspectives from people who've experienced similar situations, especially those who've navigated relationships alongside career changes or long distance.

I care about her, and I want to handle this maturely without losing sight of either my relationship or my future.

TL;DR: I'm (23M) in a relationship with my girlfriend (26F), and things have become much more serious than either of us expected. We're emotionally attached and practically living together, but I might move abroad or elsewhere next year for better career opportunities. She's expressed doubts about long distance because physical intimacy is important to her, and I'm afraid I'll be the only one willing to make it work. During college, she cheated on two partners. She regrets it, apologised, and takes responsibility, but says she doesn't know why she did it beyond being drunk. Sometimes she also becomes distant over text, which triggers my anxiety. I love what we have, but I'm struggling to balance enjoying the present with preparing for a potentially painful future. Should I let things develop naturally, discuss our future more seriously, or prepare myself for the possibility of losing her?

I’ve been friends with a 27F for around 1–1.5 years. We’ve met 3–4 times, and whenever we meet, we genuinely connect. We have a lot in common and always have plenty to talk about. I consider her a special person and believe she’s genuine, so I don’t want to portray her negatively.
Our friendship has always been low-maintenance, and taking 2–3 days to reply was normal for us. However, over the last couple of months, I’ve started feeling more affected by our communication.
A few times, she’s messaged me saying things weren’t going well in her life. I’d become concerned, ask what happened, and sometimes call or text multiple times without getting a response. She’d explain later that she’d had a lot going on. On one occasion, she said she’d call when she could, but never did, and we eventually resumed our usual conversations without discussing it.
I didn’t bring it up because she’s had a difficult year with work, family issues, and her mental well-being. I didn’t want to add to her stress.
What confuses me is that when I was unavailable for 3–4 days, she called and texted repeatedly, seemingly worried about me. She was also a little upset that I hadn’t communicated properly. I understood her concern, but couldn’t help noticing the contrast: I try to be understanding when she goes quiet, while she seemed to expect more communication from me. I don’t know if that’s an entirely fair interpretation, but it’s contributed to my feeling that things are unbalanced.
We’ve also not met in 2–3 months, despite both of us suggesting meeting and agreeing that we should make it happen. When I’ve tried to finalise plans, there have been times when she wouldn’t respond for 3–4 days, then return with a different suggestion or the conversation would move elsewhere. She’s repeatedly said she has a lot to tell me, and we have unresolved issues we’ve both agreed to discuss in person, yet we haven’t managed to meet.
I understand that she’s busy and has her own life. What bothers me is that we both express a desire to meet, but it never seems to translate into an actual plan.
Recently, she seems to be doing better, travelling and enjoying herself, and our conversations have returned to normal. Oddly, this is when I feel most disconnected. I find myself carrying the hurt from previous incidents while we continue talking as though nothing happened.
I have my own rough patches, too, but often avoid discussing them with her because I know she’s dealing with a lot. I’m not saying she owes me the same level of support. I just wonder whether I’ve become more emotionally invested in this friendship than is healthy. I also suspect I’ve developed feelings for her over the past few months, which might be amplifying everything.
Recently, our conversation died down, and she messaged asking how I was doing. For the first time, I felt done and didn’t reply. I was active on social media and reposted a mutual friend’s story. She then messaged again, asking why I was ignoring her and where I was. I haven’t responded.
I don’t want to continue a dynamic that’s affecting me this much. At the same time, I feel guilty about disappearing without an explanation from someone with whom I’ve shared a meaningful friendship. I’m also reluctant to explain everything, receive an apology and promises to do better, and potentially end up in the same situation again.
How would you handle this? Am I interpreting things unfairly because I’ve developed feelings for her, or is it reasonable to feel that the friendship has become unbalanced? Would you explain why you’re stepping away, have an honest conversation, or disengage when you’ve reached your limit?
I’d appreciate honest perspectives, including anything I might be overlooking about her side of things. I don’t want to villainise her, but I also don’t want to keep investing in a dynamic that’s affecting me this much.

I am 31, gf 32. Planning marriage end of next year. I earn more than a lakh. She earns 55k, govt job. I am in a private job so fear of lay off.

She has 4 brothers, elder. Two of them don't have jobs and constantly ask for money. Others in a govt job. Mostly drives car if these two want to. She says she is going to help her family throughout life although not like sends a huge amount of every month but risk is there. I am now having second thoughts bcz these two brothers also got married, had kids. How come the parents and family behave so idiotically? 2 brothers should be enough to take care of parents.

Also her family has a toxic daily life mostly surrounding money, drinking problem too as a household she doesn't drink. I feel she has that in her the hidden toxicity because sometimes it comes out then she suppresses it just not showing now based on our discussion. I feel this can come out later. For both these issues I don't know if I will get a solution.

I have my family and just a sister. Father retired. Sister working. I will get an inheritance of 5 cr including house. Have 50L+ saved up. She has nothing (don't need dowry I am talking individual savings) and I don't think she will ever have significant like 2-3 crores.

Top of it she never spends on me. Talking about love part I don't know if she loves me or not. I did, probably still do. I am expected to pay most bills. I am slowly building resentment. Have discussed with her with no solution yet

Sorry for the long post, but I really need some advice. Used Chatgpt to shorten it as much as possible.

I'm a doctor currently doing my internship at a government medical college. After a very rough breakup from a four-year relationship last year, I spent almost a year healing and focusing on myself. In July, I downloaded Hinge with no expectations, just wanting to see what was out there.

I matched with around 20 girls in 8-10 days, but when I met her, something felt different. We clicked almost instantly, planned our first date within five messages, and spent the next few days flirting, joking, and talking on calls until 2–3 AM. She would even text me around midnight asking if she could call. Everything felt effortless.

Two days before our date, she suddenly messaged me saying she needed to block me for some time and also deleted hinge. I was devastated and spent a week wondering what went wrong. When I eventually reached out on WhatsApp (she blocked me on ig) after a week, she apologised, said she was going through something, and asked if I was still willing to meet. Our first date went beautifully. We held hands, talked for three hours, and she dropped me home. This was on 8 August.

A week later, she became distant again. She explained that she was overwhelmed managing a business she had inherited from her father and asked for one or two months of no contact. I agreed. A couple of weeks later, she called and revealed that a close friend of hers, who was also her ex-boyfriend's best friend, had become possessive and was pressuring her to date him (this was going on long before I came into the scene, but it became worse after me as she told him that she liked me). She said she had dealt with the situation (blocked him everywhere) and wanted to continue seeing me. (she even tried blocking him before but he used come outside her house and kept stalking. So she used to fight about leaving her alone)

We met again, went bowling, and shared our first kiss. Things progressed quickly: we went on more dates, made out, exchanged couple reels, and talked every day until 3–4 AM. Despite my exhausting 24-hour internship duties, I made time for her because I genuinely loved being around her.

We had both come out of long-term relationships—hers lasted two years, mine four—so we agreed to take things slowly. However, on our 4th date, she told me she loved me. After discussing it the next day, I told her I felt the same. Soon afterward, I asked if we should officially get into a relationship since we were already behaving like a couple. Although she had initially planned not to date until the following year, she agreed. I even talked to her sister over call, and the three of us went to a movie together. For the next month, everything seemed great. We talked on video call everyday, discussed about our future, told our friends about us, she even introduced me to them over video call once we were out.

Then came October 2. We went on a date after 10 days of not seeing each other as I had very hectic duties, but the places we tried didn't work out, and it was extremely hot. She wanted to go home sooner than I expected, which upset me because I'd travelled 45 minutes from college to meet her. I felt I was putting more effort into the relationship and that she wasn't as excited to see me. I became quiet, although I still dropped her home.

Later, I explained how I felt. She told me she'd recently stopped enjoying going out with anyone except her sister or by herself and wasn't feeling affectionate anymore. She also told that it hurt her as I made her feel that she is not doing anything for this relationship. This hurt because she'd previously been very affectionate with me, but lately, I felt she was a bit distracted.

She said she needed two days to think about whether she was ready for a relationship. I felt we'd simply had a bad date and could work things out, so I called her again, hoping we could resolve things immediately. She then said she thought we weren't compatible etc. I told her that I couldn't keep dealing with uncertainty, especially after the earlier episodes of blocking and distancing herself.

When I pushed for clarity, she asked if I wanted her decision right then. I said yes, and she firmly broke up with me, wished me well, and told me to be a good doctor. I was completely blindsided. I couldn't understand how something that had felt so genuine could end after one bad date and a difficult conversation.

Since October 2, I've been calling her every few days, crying and pleading with her to reconsider. After my previous breakup, I'd thought I wouldn't be able to love someone again, but she made me feel loved and gave me hope that I could build something real.

Despite the breakup, I kept hoping we'd reconcile because she hadn't initially removed me from her close friends list. Eventually, she made it clear that her decision was final and that she didn't want to meet or try again. She has now blocked me everywhere. I also spoke to her sister, who confirmed that she wasn't going to change her mind.

Her main complaint is that I'm emotionally immature and insecure. She said that when she asked for time to think about our relationship, I couldn't give her space, but when she wanted to break up, I kept asking her to reconsider. She saw this as hypocritical and felt she couldn't handle that dynamic.

I'm devastated because I genuinely believed we had something special. We didn't abuse each other or have a major fight; we expressed our feelings after a bad date, and she ended things. I recognise that repeatedly pushing her to reconsider may have been a mistake, but I still can't understand how someone who told me she loved me could walk away so decisively.

**I need honest advice. Was our connection not as real as I thought? Did I ruin the relationship by being emotionally immature and insecure, or was she already emotionally checked out? How do I accept that someone who seemed to love me so much can walk away without wanting to try?**

**TL;DR After a painful four-year relationship, I spent almost a year healing before joining Hinge, where I met a girl with whom I instantly clicked. Despite her initially blocking me and later asking for no contact due to personal issues and a possessive friend who was stalking her, we eventually started dating, said “I love you,” and became official. Everything felt amazing until October 2, when, after a bad date, I told her I felt I was putting more effort into the relationship. She asked for two days to think, but I pushed to resolve things immediately, and she broke up with me, saying we were incompatible and that I was emotionally immature and insecure. I've repeatedly begged her to reconsider, but she's made up her mind and blocked me everywhere. I'm devastated because I genuinely believed we had something special**

**We dated for 2 months, and were in relationship for 2 weeks. Ik it sounds less but I'm losing my mind over this, having panic attacks everyday, and pretty fucked up mentally.**

​

Okay so, it's navaratri season and since I'm south indian, we've kept Golu in our house. Meaning we will now call friends and family to come visit and send them back with a bag with gifts , fruits and stuff.

I already told my mom BEFORE we even kept Golu that i will NOT be meeting anyone who comes here because i HATE socialising with people. My mom kept saying it's basic hospitality because we've invited them. Which I agree is true but I'm not the one who invited them? My mom did, so she can keep them company. Anyway, she agreed and i told her to tell the relatives I have sem and online classes so they wouldn't pry either.

Today , her friends showed up and I told her MULTIPLE TIMES yesterday AND today as well about how she SHOULDNT call me and i wont come out. Despite that today when they came she came into the room while i hadn't even bathed or dressed yet, and asked me to come out and say hi. I told her I won't because I already told her I dont want to.

This is so frustrating because I already told her multiple times and she would still AFTER the guests come would try and come and call me. Why even embarass herself and me at the same time. Now the friends prolly think I'm a bitch but i really just am socially anxious with people I don't know.

Now I'm stuck in this room and cannot leave until they go.

We have been in a relationship secretly for 6 years now with the intent of marrying each other. Our parents might have a hint due to some of our cousins knowing about us. The issue is she doesn't feel secure enough as our marriage might not have clearance from our families but that is just guess on our part. Our parents on the other hand might have a hint about us like "rumors" due to our cousins knowing about us. I'm currently at the final step of my selection for a pretty decent job and had been planning to talk about us to both of our parents. Having a job first and then talking about our relationship seemed better to me as i would then have a base from where i can promise our parents of supporting her and marrying her. However due to this we've been delaying talking to our parents. Now I'm planning to confront our parents as soon as i land the job. I was planning to not let her know about this and then propose her in the way she's always wanted with our parents present at the moment which would be a surprise for her from me. What would the community suggest? Am I doing this right? Will it be a good move?

P. S. - We had a fight and currently we're not talking to each other. This is surely gonna be temporary but I was thinking of using this as a opportunity.

TLDR - Want to tell our parents about us. Propose her with a surprise.

My girlfriend of 6 months went on a one day car trip with a few others on a 5 seater car. She said since there were 6 of them, it got cramped and uncomfortable by the evening and she had to sit on one of their lap for the remainder of the trip.

The trip was organised by her friends from her part time job. She is the youngest and all of them are at least 5 years older than her and sees her as a child. They originally planned a 5 person trip but one guy joined suddenly and hence the cramped trip. There were 2 women including my gf and 4 other men.

She told me about this when she called me to talk about the trip after she got home. She mentioned it casually and as if it's not a big deal but I couldn't digest it at all. But i didn't let her know how hurt i was. It is mainly because i don't know how i can explain this to her without coming off as a toxic insecure person. And i never knew i was someone who would be shaken by something this trivial. I feel like a hypocrite because this seems like a perfectly reasonable solution to an unexpected problem but i feel hurt simply because it was my girlfriend instead of someone else.

She still doesn't know that i am hurt. I don't want to confront her. I don't know how i can talk to her about this. She called me at around 10pm and fell asleep while on the phone because she was tired from the trip. It's 12.40am when i am writing this. I've been crying non-stop for the last 2 hours. I don't know who to call or who to share this with. Please help.

So we all have planned a trip to an international beach destination recently and my family along with my maasi's family is going on the trip , obviously everyone wants to enjoy the trip and all that so we will be going to every aesthetic cafe and every other famous spot and day trip .

My cousin wants to go to a beach club , she wants to explore that part on our trip as well and is forcing her and my mom to join her at the beach club too , assuming that I would obviously be there since I am into clubbing anyways .

She has been forcing/pressurizing my and her mom to wear certain outfits which she thinks are appropriate without asking about their comfort zone , when my mom said that her son(I) might get uncomfortable so she directly asked me if that was the case and I said no .

So now she has ordered dresses and outfits for a beach club ( yk what people wear there) for my maasi and my mom and is somewhat forcing them to wear it .

Should I skip going to the beach club if my presence would make them uncomfortable in their bikinis/swimsuits/beach wear ? I really don't wanna bother them if my presence would make them uncomfortable , what should I do ?

As the tittle says, both of us are in a relationship for the past 1 year, we talked most of the checklists that we should discuss before going to her parents. Same caste. She is upper middle class, im lower middle class. I dont have any huge financial backups I earn close to 1.7LPM, she close to 80k/month,lot of financial backups, Giving details for financial compatibility for us. I

We discussed that we are compatible and will tell inform parents and get the approval “HAPPILY”.
But today hell broke loose when she revealed about us and my parents suffering from HIV. I don’t have it. They have it close to 18 years and totally fine currently on single dose ART Therapy. Her parents are saying we cannot let you get into this when you have other options, and basically over our deadbodies kind of. I can see the reasoning behind it, i don’t know what to say, what to do next.

Girl is still willing to fight for this, but it’s going to be a long road which im ready for. Any advic* would be appreciated.

I’m 19M and my girlfriend is 22F. We genuinely love each other, but I sometimes worry whether our 3-year age gap could cause problems later in life, especially since we might be at different stages in terms career, or settling down. I do know that it's not always the case where love is itself enough for a thriving relationship, and many other factors exist too.

Has anyone been in a relationship with this age gap, where the guy was younger? Did it work out in the long run? I sincerely love her and want to make this work, but I’d appreciate some honest advice whether you've lived a case similar to mine or not. Thanks

I’m a 30-year-old guy, 6’1”, and recently met a girl through an arranged marriage setup. She is 5’5”.
On paper, most things seem fine. She seems like a genuinely nice person, and we seem compatible in several aspects. I don’t have any major red flags or concerns about her personality. However, I haven’t felt a strong physical attraction towards her so far.

I’ve always been attracted to taller girls, and I wonder whether the height difference is playing a bigger role in my feelings than I realise. I’m not sure if it’s just my usual preference influencing my initial impression or if I’m simply not attracted to her enough.

Part of me thinks attraction might develop gradually as we spend more time together and build an emotional connection. Another part of me worries that I might be trying to convince myself to like someone just because she looks good on paper and seems like a suitable life partner.

I don’t want to reject a genuinely good person over something superficial, but I also don’t want to proceed with a marriage decision hoping that attraction will eventually develop.

For those who have been through arranged marriages or similar situations:

Did physical attraction grow over time, even when it wasn’t strong initially?

How do you distinguish between a superficial preference and a genuine lack of attraction?

Would you recommend meeting a few more times before deciding, or is the initial lack of attraction something I should take seriously?

I’d appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who have experienced this themselves.

So in March this year we had a breakup for a serious fight ! Not involving anyone
I had my career exams in April so i asked her to leave the convo and lets talk afterwards
She had a guy freind, they came close within that short span , they just kissed !. After that situation was - i was done with my exams and sorted out my fight with her and we agreed to marry ! On a random day in July she tells me all this crying and all. I chose to give her a chance and move on with it. So now we are very close on marriage and she gets to know that her freind is being deported from her country! She sounds very happy ! But 1 day later she calls me at 12 midnight and tells me she feels he could have called her to greif about deportation , they could have got the closure and ended it on nice terms ! … As a man i feel that person is a clear violation of my boundaries, why would i understand these type of emotions , im very confused right now in this LDR now , when i have left my career for her now and planning to move abroad to her , now she is worried about a man being deported whom i am not comfortable about
She s usual made me responsible for not understqnding her nature and emotions and started yelling ! I yelled up too, i know if i lost my boundaries here i will never get them back
Please advice something !
( for 3 years we were in same country and now she is in germany for her masters )

We were good friends for 2 years before we expressed feelings for each other. It was her who initiated the idea of love while I was avoiding getting into anything. We've travelled together, spent time together, and expressed our feelings since last 6 months. We live in different countries for our work.

She says "you are mine" but also says she can't commit or go against her parents for marriage. When I brought up our time together, she said, "Kuch soch samajh ke nahi kiya tha".

When I decided to walk away because I wanted clarity and commitment, she asked, "Fir emotions ka kya?" and "Itna kyu logical hona hai?".

Am I wrong for choosing clarity over feelings? Is it fair to expect someone to stay emotionally involved without commitment? She expects me to give her attention and show love as before as she thinks this was unconditional love.

Please help!

Hey everyone, I need some honest advice about my relationship. Please don’t judge me because I’m genuinely confused about my feelings.
I’m in my fifth year of a relationship. The first two years were normal, but then I moved to another country, and because of visa issues, we haven’t met in person for the last two years. We have been loyal and honest with each other, but the distance and other personal issues have made our relationship difficult over the last year.
My girlfriend has always liked wearing cute, short, and sometimes backless or revealing dresses. In the beginning, I wasn’t comfortable with it, and I used to object. She was okay with my concerns back then, but over time, things changed.
For the last year, we’ve had a lot of arguments, and to avoid more fights, I started telling her to wear whatever she wanted. Interestingly, my own feelings started changing too. Sometimes I actually enjoy seeing her look hot in public. I feel attracted to her and even a little proud of how good she looks, but at the same time, I feel jealous knowing that other men might be looking at her.
Recently, she went to a party wearing a dress that I felt was way too short. My reaction confused me. I felt jealous and uncomfortable, but I was also turned on by how attractive she looked. I haven’t really shared this side of my feelings with her, and I don’t fully understand it myself.
Now comes the difficult part. Our relationship has been struggling for the past year, and sometimes I feel like we might eventually break up because of our ongoing issues. I don’t know if that’s actually going to happen, but it makes me question how I should handle this situation.
Part of me thinks that if things aren’t going to work out anyway, I should stop making her outfits an issue. I could let her wear what she likes, be honest about finding her attractive, and enjoy the relationship without creating unnecessary arguments.
But when I think about marriage, I feel differently. Honestly, I don’t think I’d be comfortable with my future wife regularly wearing extremely short or revealing dresses in public. I know this might sound hypocritical because I sometimes enjoy seeing my girlfriend dressed that way, but I can’t seem to reconcile these two feelings.
I understand that she has the right to wear whatever she wants. I’m not asking how to control her. But I also feel that I’m allowed to have preferences about what I want in a long term relationship.
So I’m confused about what I should do.
Should I simply accept her clothing choices and stop making them an issue, especially when our relationship is already struggling? Or should I be honest about my discomfort and acknowledge that we might have different expectations for a serious relationship?
Am I being insecure and jealous, or is it normal to feel attracted to something that you might not want in your future marriage?
I’d really appreciate honest opinions from both men and women. I’m not looking for people to take my side. I just want to understand my feelings better and figure out what’s fair to both of us.

22 me shaadi karke wife ke sath duniya dekhne ka sapna sapna hi reh gaya💔

So when i was 18, I had my life sorted out.(dimag me)

Sab sahi tha, so called top clg me admission hogaya tha, confidence was at its peak.

Fir clg me ek din mai kisi se mila long story short- clg me 1 indrect aur 1 direct rejection ke baad Finally i found a girl, ticked all the boxes and vo patt gyii!!!. Fir i got serious for placements and started studying.. made mistakes pushed her away unintentionally and broke up.

Mera so called accha college couldnt give me a single placement, after manipulating me into studying core. I developed an interest in that, but EOD placment nhi hui na..

offcampus jaise taise ek placement mili

aur realise hua ki iss sb ke chakkar me

asli goal to bhul gaye.

I had to start a business make enough money

and get married to the loml. ASAP.

And now im 22 , i have nothing.

Only a "barely minimum package" and a corporate majdoori bhara day

Love- nope

loads of paisaaa- nope.

kisiko tech me product based startup karna hai

ya koi cutie mere pyar me padna chahti hai

to pls dm.hum sathme dunia ghumege😭

I’m 25F, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for six years. He has cheated on me multiple times, and although I’ve chosen to stay, the experience has deeply affected me. One of the most painful things was feeling mocked when I cried over what happened. I needed comfort and understanding, but instead, I often felt alone in my pain.
Even now, when I try to talk about what happened and how it still affects me, he gets defensive or angry and tells me to move on. I understand that the past cannot be brought up forever, but I don’t know how to rebuild trust when the person who broke it gets offended by my struggle to trust again.
Another recurring issue is his closeness with other women, including a female coworker he frequently messages and exchanges Snaps with. When I bring up maintaining boundaries with other women, he gets offended, and we have fought about this on numerous occasions. I’m not accusing him of cheating again without evidence, but given our history, these situations make me uncomfortable. I don’t know whether my concerns are reasonable or whether my past experiences have made me insecure.
There have also been times when he has told me we don’t match and called me unattractive. Over time, I’ve started feeling like I have to ask for affection, attention, reassurance, and acceptance instead of feeling naturally loved and valued by my partner.
I know I have insecurities, and I’m willing to work on them. I don’t want to control him or constantly question his interactions with other women. I just want to feel respected, secure, and emotionally safe in my relationship.
The difficult part is that I still love him. Six years is a significant part of my life, and I keep wondering whether things can genuinely improve or whether I’m holding on because I’m afraid to let go of everything we’ve shared. I don’t want to give up on a relationship that could be repaired, but I also don’t want to spend more years feeling hurt, unheard, and unsure of my worth.
For those who have experienced something similar, can trust be rebuilt after repeated infidelity when your partner gets defensive about your pain and refuses to discuss boundaries without conflict? Am I expecting too much, or should I seriously consider leaving?

It has been almost a year since I told my parents about my relationship, and I thought I would share an update on how things have been going.

For some context, she and I have been together for 13 years. We are high school sweeheats, she belongs to paswan community(SC) and I belong to the Yadav community (OBC), both in Bihar.

Last year, when I finally told my parents about her, all hell broke loose. My mother's reaction was particularly difficult. She started keeping fasts and emotionally blackmailing me during phone calls and whenever I visited home. It has been an exhausting year of trying to explain something that, to me, should not be so difficult to understand: I love someone, she loves me, and we want to build a life together.

There is a quote often attributed to Keanu Reeves: “If you don't fight for your love, what kind of love do you have?” And honestly, it becomes a little easier to keep fighting when you know that the person beside you is fighting for the relationship just as much as you are.

Fast-forward to Durga Puja this year.

I came home for a week, and my parents suddenly decided that I should visit our native village and meet my grandparents. Since arriving here, my mother has been taking me to meet families who have been socially ostracised for marrying outside their caste.

My mother and grandmother have also been giving me examples of why our family supposedly shouldn't eat or drink at the homes of people they consider to be of a lower caste.

And honestly, I find it deeply disturbing.

How can someone look at another human being and decide that they are inferior because of the community they were born into? None of us chooses our caste, our family or the circumstances of our birth

I have tried explaining this to my mother several times. I have told her that being educated should mean learning to question such beliefs, not blindly carrying them forward.Yet, after a year of conversations, arguments and emotional exhaustion, I feel as though I am talking to a wall.

What surprises me most is how easily people believe in stories, social rules and inherited prejudices, yet struggle to accept something as real as the love between two people. The feelings and emotions that we all have felt in our lifetime, we tend to ignore it so casually.God save this country.

I hope a dusshera comes in future which burns these social evils and let love and peace prevail.

I could really use some perspective from people who have been through this

I had a sort of religious upbringing so the seedha sada rule abiding middle class type. Not bad to look at, a bit overweight but I don't think that is a justification. Guess I have intimacy issues? Don't know. Just find it hard to trust people.

Anyway, my point is: at this stage of life should I just jump into a relationship for the heck of it? Won't be having kids so timeline kuch bhi chalta hai. Are relationships worth it is my question. Especially since you are used to being alone and fairly ok with it now.

i started going to garba last few days and saw a really cute guy , was contemplating whether i should ask for his number or not and decided to do it yesterday, he was kind and gave me his number, we spoke on chat for a bit post garba, but honestly i could tell he's not INTERESTED or evern attracted, he's speaking to me like you would speak to any other friend. i feel so crushed right now.

to give some context, i have been single for a while now and i have done this a few times where I have gone up and spoken to people i like but i have never received the same energy. the last time this happened I was heartbroken for 8-9 months. i could not get the memory of that person out of my head. and i feel like the same is about to happen again, i can see it coming bcs he told me yesterday ' i didnt really notice you'

all those advices that say, you cant expect that from a stranger, how can you be heartbroken when the other person is allowed to make a choice

the problem is people dont even want to give something like this a chance, i would completely understand if we speak and it doesnt work out

i know im fucked the next few months, it feels so much more intense bcs im an emtional person

i was out buying stuff for dussehra today morning and i started crying while riding the scooter bcs this quite literally crushes my soul.

my friends always tell me its good you have so much confidence, but all this confidence for what? what will I do with all this confidence bcs it definately hasn't helped me anytime I have reached out to someone myself.

it took almost 2 years to get over someone and i have approached so many people since, not even in a creepy way, i have always been gentle and kind, with an open ques of would you like to stay in touch?

this feels terrible.

Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective because I don't know if I'm being reasonable or if I'm severely overthinking this.

Have taken help from AI to frame as I am not in right space of mind

I [29F] have been dating my boyfriend [33M] for 2 years. Before we met, he had never dated anyone. I always viewed him as a quiet, slightly introverted guy who wasn't the type to chase after women. Throughout our relationship, he has been an absolute pillar of strength for me during some of my hardest moments, and I have never once felt like he was untrustworthy or unfaithful. Our families know about us, and he has asked me to marry him.

The Incident:
Two days ago, I happened to see a chat on his phone that he never deleted. It was from before we met. He had met a girl on a 4–5 hour train ride, asked for her number, and they texted for about four months. They met up twice (just for 10–20 minutes) and did video calls. To be clear: I read the entire chat, and they were not in a relationship. Earlier in our relationship, I also saw some Facebook chats from 2019 where he casually messaged a few girls.

Why I'm Struggling:
I know that technically he did not cheat on me. All of this happened before I ever entered his life. However, finding out that he casually approached a stranger on a train and initiated contact goes completely against the mental image I had of him. I am quite old-school, and realizing he has this "side" to him has shaken me.

Now, my brain is spiraling. I keep thinking: If he can casually approach girls like that, what happens in the future if we get married and hit a rough patch? What if he gets bored or irritated with me and starts messaging other women? I see married men flirting with other women all the time, and I've always felt terrible for their wives. Now I'm terrified of becoming one of those wives.

Am I letting my own anxieties ruin a genuinely good, supportive relationship over harmless things he did while single? Or is my gut picking up on a character trait I should pay attention to before committing to marriage?

TL;DR: Found old chats on my [33M] boyfriend's phone from before we met, where he casually picked up a girl on a train and texted her for months. He has been an amazing partner to me [29F] for 2 years and proposed, but finding out he had this casual side in his past makes me terrified he might flirt/cheat in the future if we get married. Am I overthinking?