DISCLAIMER: This is NOT medical advice. I wanted to put this out here so other people can have something to read when they are in a similar situation and I am just sharing my experience on the topic.

Why Ipill?

The condom broke and I had visted a gynac and she suggested me to take one.

Here goes the story:

I am 23F. I live in Bangalore. It was a sunday, the condom broke around 5pm in the evening. We didn't want to waste any time so we started looking for gynacs immediately and went to one that was available that day.

My cycle is 28 days long and is pretty regular(A few days early or late depends on the activities during that month).

The condom broke on day 17 of my cycle and as per Flo, my ovulation was over by then. It was 3 days post ovulation. We didn't wanna take any risk so we decided to take an ipill and we didn't want to take it without consultation, so we were quick to find one on a Sunday(which was hard btw).

As it was a sunday, the only doc available was a junior gynac and she suggested me to take the pill as it was a time where the fertile window may or may not be open. She also consulted with her senior over phone and confirmed that I need to take the pill.

Things she mentioned to me: She asked me if I was married or not (I am not). It was a little less judgemental as it is Bangalore, I assume it's worse in other places. She mentioned that my ovulation may or may not have ended and the pill to work is what we are hoping for. She also asked me to take a test 7 days post my actual period date.

Consultation was Rs 1050 and the pill was around Rs 70. Ipill is available in instamart in Bangalore, so if you are not willing to go to a gynac, you can get one online.

I took the pill from the hospital around 7 and went back home. I had no symptoms on that evening or night.

The next morning I woke up with a little stomachache and I did not feel like eating anything I felt like puking and nauseous for half pf the day.

I had very little food for breakfast and my stomach was still hurting. I had diarrhea on the same day and I felt better after that.

The first week after the pill was a bit nauseous, I couldn't eat much and I felt like puking after every meal I ate but I didn't puke.

As much as I read online, there was a lot of nausea and vomiting which I did not have much. I also read there would be withdrawal bleeding, which I did not have.

I reached out to few of my friends and with what they had told me and with what I read online, that the pill will mess with your period and will likely delay it upto a week or two. I was suggested to take a pregnancy test at home after one week's delay. But luckily I got period on the same day as my regular cycle. I got it 28 days after my previous cycle.

I'm currently on my day 2 of my period. My flow is very heavy than usual and cramps are very painful than a regular period. I will suggest you to take leaves and get rest for the first 2 days.

Points to be noted:

1. DO NOT be lethargic if the condom broke or if there is an accident. Do take all the necessary steps as soon as possible as the ECP works only in the first 72 hours.

2. Ipill did have some side effects on me, and it sure is different for different bodies.

3. I wanted to check with the gynac before taking it, I would suggest the same as it is a professional's opinion. If it is a sunday, not many gynacs are available. I had visited Ovum Hospitals (24 hours open, Junior gynac was available on sunday too).

4. Ipill will mess with your period, it makes it heavy and painful, I soaked up XXXL pad in the first few hours of my period.

5. I agree taking Ipill is scary and the anxiety is real. There is nothing else to do but wait until the period date is there or a week post that goes by.

I understand it is a hard time to go through, but it is a solvable situation. Please try not to stress yourself as that might also delay the period. I had people to rant it out too and that helped my anxiety to stay calm. I suggest you to try and distract your brain from this as much as possible until your period date.

Hope this post helps someone who is in a similar situation.

Please do not panic, read as much as possible about the topic and get the correct information. Do not trust any AI source on this as it does not have accurate information. Please consult a gynac before any pills or steps.

Stay safe and use protection.

Thanks.

Edit: Thanks for all the people who are checking in. I'm doing better now, my boyfriend is here with me to take care of me. The brand was Durex Air, once happened with Boldcare also.

[Previous Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwentiesIndia/s/bt4sElLZb8 ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

Right after watching a play. Long walk in the night. Our favorite spot. I had brought my notebook. Was planning on reading the words I wrote. Ended up being nervous and chitchatting for 2 hours. She was feeling cold and tired, but was very patient with me. [Later told me that she knew I was working up the courage to ask her out, she knew it the moment I asked her to go on a long walk towards our favorite spot.]

I brought up the topic of dating and we discussed past stuff, failed talking stages, while I slowly inched towards the moment. Brief pause of silence. We both leaned back a little, looked towards the stars. And then I looked at her, and said it. She looked at me for 3 seconds, I saw her lips break into a smile and she said 'Yes, I'd love to go out with you on a date.'

I broke into a sigh of relief, and she saw that and laughed. She knew it was gonna happen. She was almost tired of waiting and was gonna suggest heading back home within the next two minutes. She was curious of how I'd planned it. I whipped out my notebook, although I didn't read anything that I had prepared to ask.

And that's that. I'm outta here. Cheers!

:)

Hey guys, me and my partner are planning a romantic night together and I was wondering if having wine would help us get more in the mood. We’ve been intimate before, but we want to make the night more romantic and passionate.
Does wine actually make you feel more horny and increase sexual desire, or is that just a myth? If you’ve tried it with your partner, did you notice any difference? Also, is there anything else you’d recommend to make the experience better?
Would love to hear your honest experiences.

hi, im awaypreference and a 2006 born girl, and so while i should hav begun with my college around 2 years back, i did just a few months back this year.
(well, cause i had tried doing it in my huge metro city hometown but i hated it, then i tried so many side courses there, still hated, and plus i was dealing with lots n lots of mental struggles)
i realised how my city isnt the one for me and convinced my parents to send me to this city which is also really huge on its own, and to me felt like the only rescue.

so now im studying here, its been like 3 months now ig and im loving it so much here and learning so much, but i dont think anyone would it, its like... my voice is so childish and i act so weird ig like im really shy in nature but i hav lots of emotional depth in me, im rlly fun at conversations over text or one to one and i dont mean to be self obsessed but im really self aware n hav my own niche too ig

i was in an abusive dynamic which never turned into a relationship, n i hav soooo little self worth like i said i act so childish ig that i hav been rejected like 3 times back home, never dated anybody and used as a placeholder and being compared to 'her'

i look rlly young, my height is really small and i dont weigh a lot either but ppl literally think that im in 6th grade sometimes, and so it just gets so hard to act my age in college societies and everything where every senior of my age has it figured out so i shrink my personality in front of them, call them 'bhaiya' nd 'didi' as i just accept my fate n then proceed to romantasize my sadness

i hav realised dating in my college isnt for me as it will just hurt the other individual when they get to know my age eventually. i rlly wanna talk to 22 year old men in my city i wanna go out to social communities like reading socities n everything but what if they think im so young n weird

i rlly wanna be ready to date men of the age that i prefer but how do i find the courage to even go and find them and do i seem ready to date in that age category?

We(27 M, 27 F) have been together for 5 years now. We are about to get married in one month now. Our families have agreed and it’s been six months since when we started our marriage preps. We do fight a lot but we come back to normal later after couple of hours. But lately i am feeling super anxious and I genuinely don’t know what to do - My way of expressing love is cooking for her, going out, surprises and making her part of my life like going to gym together. Her way of expressing love is just sleeping on bed and talk to me for hours. She does like a little going out too while doesn’t like to go to gym. I never really liked sitting idle and talk for hours but eventually it changed and I started enjoying too. I always want to impress her with something and I want to be the reason for glow on her face. What i always wish for is super happy relationship every minute. But she gets disappointed super easy and she have lot of trust issues on friends and not easy moving compared to me. She yells at me for revealing small details like events we want to plan for wedding and I honestly can’t recall many because I have super low memory to remember such. Here comes important part

I am avg or below avg looking guy and she is like S tier for me and many times I get how did you pull man comments while it hurts sometimes but I don’t really bother much. We are at zero to little romance at this stage which was great at the first year of relationship. I asked multiple times if there is anything to do with but she casually brushes it off and acts like everything is good. Couple of times I had to vent out everything and then it happens same night and I honestly didn’t like it because it felt like forceful because I am already facing a guilt for not letting her live on her own way. I always want me to pick up some hints on what she likes and what she doesnt and act accordingly so that she feels good. But she doesn’t appreciate these things that comes from me and she just says nothing great in it and it hurts. She just starts getting disappointed, yells at me for super silly things when we got super important things to do together which disappointment just kills a day in life for both of us which i am okay for once in a month or twice but not twice or thrice in a week. I have tried mentioning many times that if there is no intimacy I don’t feel like you like me anymore and it just feels like you need an ear to vent out everything in your mind and apart from that I don’t see a point why we are in relationship. She did say she has low libido and generally not interested in these and feels a little embarrassing and disgusting generally when people do it and she needs time and these things happen only when given some time. Its been 5 years and I am just waiting and want to give time but at time I burst out like once in six months.

Now she got to say every negative thing about herself how she is looking not so good in our pics and how her hair is messy and I didn’t bother to adjust it(I am super conscious during photos because I want to look good beside her and I don’t want me to be a reason for a bad photo but I still bombed it) she has been disappointed with the pics and I just wanted to say there will be flaws in life every time and its always good to accept them how it is and trying for something better next time is how we can stay happy. She mentions how can we be so irresponsible and how can you say it’s just how we look and get compromised so easily. She is always worried about every minute detail about her looks and if looks does matter how did she pick me. For me looks are at 10th priority in life thats what keeps me moving because i can’t change the genes I got and she never complained about me.

I am not happy about she being unhappy and this is stressing me out. I don’t know if its me what I can do and wedding is close and I am anxious now. I don’t want to talk BS right now I want to have more discussions about our relationship and not get blamed once and just not get over it after blame. I want to solve the problem and gets asked the solution and which I don’t know and she acts like if there is no solution there is no problem

My partner \[29M\] and I \[28F\] have been together for five years. We reached the point where both of our families agreed to our marriage, and wedding discussions were actively underway. Right before things moved forward, he hit the brakes.

He told me that while he cares about me, he no longer feels romantic love. Because of this, he stopped all wedding conversations and proposed that we go back to being "just friends" for the time being. According to him, starting over as friends is how he wants to try to bring the love back. However, he has given no timeline or deadline for how long this limbo will last.

This situation is devastating, and I am not okay with being just friends with someone I am actively in love with. Demoting five years of partnership and impending marriage into a platonic holding pattern feels emotionally unbearable.

Does stepping backward to "friends" ever actually rekindle romantic love in a long-term relationship, or is this just an indefinite limbo because he is afraid to make a clean break? How do I navigate this when I refuse to just be his friend?

Hey everyone, I need some honest advice because I'm genuinely confused about my situation.

I've been talking to this girl for about a month now, and we've reached a point where we talk every single day, through both texts and calls. Not a single day has passed without us talking.

I confessed my feelings to her after just a week of talking. Obviously, she didn't accept them, but we continued talking and gradually became much closer.

From what she's shared with me, her previous relationship was pretty toxic and manipulative. Her ex cheated on her two or three times, and she told me that she was deeply in love with him and didn't realise he was using her. It's been around 2–3 years since that relationship, and as far as I know, she's moved on from it.

Over the past month, I've genuinely tried my best to make her feel cared for. I check on her health, give her attention, flirt with her, give her nicknames, and occasionally give her chocolates. I've tried to show her the kind of effort and care she says was missing from her previous relationship.

She seems to enjoy talking to me, likes the nicknames and flirting, and happily shares selfies and pictures with me. She has also told me that she's never experienced a guy giving her this much attention, caring about her health, and putting in so much effort.

She says she likes talking to me and appreciates everything I do for her. However, whenever I bring up the possibility of us being together, she says she doesn't currently have feelings for me.

She says she's never experienced this kind of attention before, so she doesn't know what the future holds. She's not saying she'll definitely develop feelings for me, but she's also not completely ruling it out.

I've been clear with her from the beginning that I don't want to develop deeper feelings just to end up being a friend if she knows there's no possibility of a relationship. I've asked her more than once to tell me honestly if she thinks she'll never accept me.

Her answer is always that she doesn't know what might happen in the future, but right now, she's sure she wouldn't accept me because she doesn't have those feelings.

She has also said that she doesn't want to waste too much of my time. If, after a few months, she still doesn't develop feelings for me, she'll tell me directly that a relationship will never happen.

There was also a small incident recently. I was sick and couldn't reply to her for a few hours. I had actually seen her messages but didn't respond. She got angry and asked why I hadn't told her I wasn't feeling well, because she had been left wondering why I wasn't replying. I apologised because I understood why she was worried.

That incident made me wonder whether she might be getting emotionally attached to me, even if she doesn't have romantic feelings for me. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Another thing I've noticed is that we started talking about almost everything very quickly. I also used to ask her for selfies quite frequently, but she eventually told me that doing this every day felt more like something people in a relationship would do, and she didn't want that kind of dynamic right now. I respected that.

Here's where I'm confused.

I genuinely like this girl, and I don't want to lose her. I think she's a wonderful person, and I enjoy our conversations. At the same time, I know I'm developing stronger feelings for her, and I don't know whether continuing like this is a good idea.

Part of me thinks that she might eventually develop feelings because she enjoys talking to me and is experiencing a kind of care she hasn't experienced before.

Another part of me thinks that I'm just becoming emotionally attached while she enjoys the attention and companionship, without necessarily seeing me as a potential partner. I don't want to assume she's using me, because she has been honest about her current feelings.

I'm also wondering whether her past relationship has anything to do with her hesitation, or whether she simply likes me as a person but doesn't feel that romantic connection.

I’d appreciate your honest opinions:

1. Should I wait a few months or am I just setting myself up for disappointment?
2. Can feelings develop over time, or should I accept that she doesn't see me romantically?
3. Does her behaviour suggest emotional attachment, or am I overthinking it?
4. Am I putting in too much effort and acting like a boyfriend without actually being one?
5. Would you continue talking to her or step back before getting more attached?

I don't blame her for how she feels, and I'm not looking to paint her as the bad person. I just want an honest outside perspective because my feelings are making it difficult to think clearly.

Please be brutally honest.

26M Bangalore. BTech (Gold Medallist) from a tier 1, GSoC contributor. Senior Engineer at a major fintech

• Teetotaler (non-smoker, non-drinker). Financially disciplined, building my life without inherited wealth.
• Grounded, soft-spoken, & empathetic. I value meaningful conversations, small gestures, & strong family ties over social validation or flashy lifestyles or societal pretenses.
• Personality & Philosophy & Interests
  • I value quiet evenings where we can just talk.
  • I aim to earn enough for a secure, comfortable & peaceful life rather than chasing endless numbers. In the long run, I hope to build something impactful of my own (in tech or another field), but my priority is an uncomplicated life where work enables living, not the other way around.
  • I tend to give 100% of my heart to what and whom I commit to.
  • Jogging, driving, nature trips over loud party spots, treks
  • Board game nights, following F1 and cricket, exploring food spots, reading up on finance/tech, and hacking together small utility apps.
• I prefer a simple court marriage and an intimate reception over extravagant traditions.

What I Am Looking For

• Age: 23 - 29
• Emotional Maturity & Kindness: Someone who values empathy, honesty, and clear communication.
• Team Mindset: A partner who approaches conflict as "us vs. the problem" rather than "you vs. me," where we can share harsh truths with care and tackle life as equal teammates.
• Mutual Growth: Whether you have ambitious career aspirations, want to collaborate on a venture, or want to explore other passions, I believe in creating a home where both partners have the safety and encouragement to thrive emotionally and professionally.
• Shared Simplicity: Someone who appreciates a simple, genuine life and believes that real meaning comes from the people we live for.

So ek ladki hai jis se me 2 mahino se bate kr rha hu and wo mere se baate krri hai hamara ek group hai ham dono usi group me hai phele se hi the ham dono ek group me but hamari utni baat hoti nhi thi but suddenly from somewhere hone lgi bcz i think mera thoda glow up ho gya h isliye ho skta h and ek baar hamari baat hui thi uske baad usne hi interest dikhaya aur good morning good night wo sab chalta raha and flirts wagera bhi but me thora zyada krta tha and ham irl milte the toh kabhi kabhi kabar akele beth ke baate kiya krte the and recently me uske sath kahi ghumne gya tha kind of date keh skte hai toh ham bhut ghume and hamare bich me touching bhut hoti thi chipkte bhut the agar me kahi pe bhi hath rakhdu toh usko koi dikkt nahi hai ek baar ko toh mene usko godi bithake baate ki thi aur wo beth bhi gyi usko kuch dikkt nahi hui and like boyfriend jese act krte wese me act kr rha tha after godi me bithake fir bhi usko koi dikkt nahi but bich bich mene usko bola ki i love you wagera as mazak me but usne yahi bola ki ham abhi toh mile hai and wo muje bolte hue aa rahi heki muje tumko jan na hai ? Toh iska kya mtlb hua and ab toh friend group me hamko ek dusre ke naam se chidate h toh bhi usko dikkt nhi and mere friends muje ye bolte heki wo blush shy krti h jab mera naam se chidate and kabhi kabar mene dekha hai me jab entry leta hu uske sath toh sharamke niche dekne lgti h and wo mere samne sharamti bhut hai kuch flirts bhi krdu fir bhi sharamne lg jati hai uska ex reh chuka hai 1 hi only and recent day se me usko like krne lga hu kind of i want her attach bhi ho skta dont want to lose her and kya muje usse chase krna chaiye?? Kabhi kabhi usko mera cute nickname se bulwane ko bolta hu like mera ( cute nickname ) to wo bol bhi deti hai but muje ye nhi lgta wo relationship keliye ready hai wo bolti hai ki muje shadi nhi psand kisike sahare rehna nahi psand so what should i do? And i notice ki wo mere bare me sochti hai kyuki ek baat kya hua mera clg ka time alag tha aur uska alag toh sare group walo ka same bas mera alag kyuki me alg cource me hu toh wo gye sab group wale and movie timing fix kr rahe the toh wo mere clg time ka rakh rha the but usne bola ki nahi mera naam deke ki baad me rakho kyuki uska clg time hota hai ye and me bolta hu ki mujse milne aao kyuki hamara thora timing alag tha toh wo milne bhi aati hai abse meri activa ke peeche beth thi hai phele kisi aur dost ke sath beth ti thi and hamare bich me sari baate share hoti hai everything almost hamne toh ek baar call pe 9 ghante baat bhi ki hai and she always reply me wo esa nahi heki ghanto ghanto baad reply degi wo reply deti hai har time ignore bhut rarely kregi agar hoga toh and wo group mese sabse alag muje treat krti hai ofc sabko wo syd ignore krle group mese like mene dekha hai wo ignore krti hai kuch dosto ko group mese but mera sath esa nhi hai wo degi muje reply so baki itna hi hai aur yaad hoga toh koi aur page me aur likhuga.

Edit- wo meri baate bhi manti hai like wo gali deti hai toh mene usko bola gali mat de muje nahi psand tum do toh usne dena band krdiya and usne hi bola tumne kuch notice kiya? Iski baat kr rhai thi and recently usne kaaan me earrings phena start kiya toh mene bola muje psand hai tu rakh toh usne rakha bhi even though usko nhi psand and uske kaan me dard dera.

So guys what should i do should i wait more and some advice you can give

Btw i am 6 ft ek aachi body gym wala hu and ek good enough wali shakl hai meri ( said by my friend )

Hey guys, My Name Is Tanishq. Im 19M, 12 Grade . The problem is My Parents Are just loser They Did nothing in their life.

About my Father - He is 49M And He Drink and Smoke Daily In Front of Me and All. No shame He earn like 35k in the age of 49. And he Spend like Atleast 25k on His habit. He Is so big loser His All friends Use him and Throw like Shit. in the age of 49 he Can not get a car for his family. When his friends comes in fortuner , Creta. When ever He see Anyone Above earning 35k He say He has 2 Number ka piasa And Many thing Story is long He Even jeauless of his own Kid. In my life Time I got bully for having A fat kid . When I started gym and start to See results. He try to drag me out. I just don't have so much Interested in Study So I started Freelance Video editing When I earning He break my laptop Saying I purchase this laptop it's mine I can do anything with it. we live On our Grandmother pension If we don have it. We will on road Also home provided by my Grandmother. It been 19 year So I know His behaviour Very will . I can see His jeauless In his eye When I Get above him. He act like I don't have Money for College but when I we Try to speak to him for his habits He already have 2 heart Attact So we in loan of 4 lakh. He think Heakth insurance was a scam never Take it . No saving. He always Act When You started your job he Give me lecture About This spread on his and You need to start your job with 2.5 lakh month and all And when I say We is not impossible for first he Start to compare to that Rich kids That earn 1 2 cr Per month. I know his intention and He already sayed I need to feed him in old Age Don't go any where Stay with him. When Ever I try to convince like I need to go out of city for good job he Always like Acha We don't have money for your study then It's our money we can do anything with it.

About my mom - She is 48F .In for a long time I use to think that she is So innocent and all she told me that she face Abuse in his marriage and all. But later I realise That she act smart She want the same thing And when I and father get a fight she change the side Always She Show the Real face of her.

About me - I Just Accept All thing The Only Solutions i think Is Get a Job or do my freelance Do a level So I can give a excuse My parent For Move out and Change the Number And Get a personal Number Other this Number . Just do the bare minimum and Get a Property the part from My Grandmother. When Get the property Close That number Also and Never call. Because I just reliase He Poor because of their own habits If I follow his Path I will be Like him. Onw days We have a Dine night With a Relative in a restaurant My father give me A beer Glass Wtf He doing to a 17 year And All.
I been diagnosed With chronic Depression and Adhd by Doctor. And parents think doctor Do all this for money.
Im good now.

My gf and I met on Instagram when we were 17. We talked pretty much 24/7 for 8 months with zero intention of dating. It was just two 12th graders figuring out life, our goals, everything. Neither of us even had clear photos on our profiles, so we didn't know what the other looked like.
I was planning to move to Canada for my bachelor's while she was doing CA back home, and I realized this friendship was too important to let fade out. So about 6 months before I left, I told her I liked her. She said she felt the same (apparently she'd been dropping hints for a while and I completely missed them lol). A month of texting later we met in person for the first time and it just clicked. Honestly felt like she was the girl of my dreams. Goal oriented, super intelligent, really strong values.
We started long distance around 18-19. Everyone told us we were insane. We've had ups and downs and some huge fights, but we made it, and we both grew a lot along the way. She cleared her CA, and I joined a Big 4, cleared CFA and I'm doing CPA now. Same field, same ambitions. Both our families know about us and everything honestly feels too good to be true. She's also wanted to settle in Canada her whole life because her cousins are here, so our plans have always lined up.
Now the problem. I figured if this is the real thing, why not get engaged or married and finally end the long distance? We're both from old school families where living together without being engaged looks bad to society, so that's kind of the only route.
I assumed she'd be on board. She's not. She says she wants her own freedom. Her family, especially her dad, has been really restrictive her whole life, and I've seen it myself so I get where she's coming from. I've told her I'm not someone who'd ever restrict her and that we'd heal and grow together, but she doesn't seem to buy it.
I know 23 is young, but we've been through 5 years of long distance and our values are solid, so I don't really see age as the issue. Open to being wrong though.
Has anyone been through this? How do I know if it's "not yet" or "not you"? And is there a middle ground that gives her space but still gets us out of long distance?
**TL;DR:** 5 years long distance, families approve, I want to get engaged to finally be together, she says she's not ready and wants her freedom. Not sure how to move forward.

​

One of my cousin brother is casually dating a girl, they both know that they'll be dating only for some time, and they're in an open relationship, but he never told her about the dates he went with other girls, and he does go with a new girl every week and he's also texting other girls on bumble. But he never considers staying with any of them coz he's parents are strict and he only wants do AM

My question is, Is this normal? I mean i get that he's exploring or wtv, but if he's accustomed to dating multiple people at the same time without getting attached to any one of them, how would he stay loyal in arrange marriage setup?

Maybe I'm overthinking, but this question has been bugging me a lot.

I’m 26M, and I met a woman while travelling. We exchanged numbers, started chatting, and within a month, we both confessed that we loved each other.

Initially, she told me she was 26, but later she admitted that she was actually 35. Honestly, I had no problem with the age difference because by then, I had developed genuine feelings for her.

We decided to meet in person and spent a week together. We got intimate, and things felt really good between us. Since we live in different cities, we decided to meet once every month and spend a few days together.

Then, after another month, she told me that she was married.

I was shocked. I ended things immediately and told her that I didn't want any contact until she got divorced. She told me that she and her husband weren't living together. She kept crying and asking me to talk to her just once, and eventually, I started talking to her again.

Here's where things have become complicated.

I genuinely love her. She has been a positive influence on my life, and being with her has brought me happiness in many ways.

But lately, she expects me to follow everything she says while showing very little consideration for what I want or feel. Whenever we disagree, she sometimes lashes out at me and says extremely hurtful things. She also avoids discussing her divorce or giving me clarity about where things stand.

I know I made a mistake by continuing this relationship after finding out she was married, especially when I had initially set a clear boundary. Maybe I let my feelings override my judgment.

I'm not looking for people to tell me that age gaps are wrong. I can accept the age difference. What I am struggling with is the dishonesty, the uncertainty about her marriage, and the lack of mutual respect.

I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice.

Also I posted this on Oct 10 but deleted it in 1hr

I genuinely believe his female friend exploited our weakest phase to drive a wedge between us. I still remember her face falling when she heard us doing great over dinner. Just within a month of that, we fell apart. Nazar is real?!

She repeatedly questioned him about our relationship and seemed visibly uncomfortable with the way he adored me. Couldn’t he like ever see that?

Jealousy and resentment played a part. She had been waiting for an opening, and when our relationship became vulnerable, she inserted herself into it and helped turn our issues into reasons to see me negatively. She kept calling and sharing twisted parts that are untrue so that he paints a black image of me and becomes insensitive. And then started obsessing over him as some “bestie”. I mean, how can she be a sister when they’ve met on a dating app? She’s bound to resent me. It was obvious to a girl. Only girls can sense it. He won’t know. She was resentful of missing the opportunity to date him because he wasn’t attracted to her and felt left out because every male friend was married and she had nobody who would worship her or have some unspoken male attention/care being given. I mean, she wouldn’t ever accept it herself and be nonchalant about it but I swear I could sense it from the get-go. She also had this advisor persona going for her that made things she said in this detached way very convincing. She kept being envious if he was a lover boy for me and chased me. I could always feel her inferiority complex. After we parted ways, his friends took our private issue up in such a negative way that made him think negatively of me. Why tf would he allow others to influence his feelings for me? Why would others have a role to play in deciding what I am to you or my partnership is with you? And if that’s the case, then aren’t you shallow that you allow others to do this. Nobody shares their weakness or their private affairs to their friends and I’m sure if they did, everyone would have something to pick on. And if you allow others to do that, then at some point, every relationship should break down. Then that’s not love. That’s trophy. I just want him to call me and tell me he wanted me to be a trophy so that it hurts a little less because I still believe in that boy who showed like he genuinely loved me. So giving third party power or how they look at our relationship isn’t adding to what he was. These people will laugh, talk general affairs and move on with their lives and he thinks their approval is necessary for him to linger on. Tch tch.

He used to be so cool, into niche interests and I always respected how he found socialising to be meaningless activity where you could instead read something and update yourself with knowledge. But he suddenly became a puppet of his friends who didn’t even exist a year back.

He taunted me, saying I should give my life for my friends. But I could never be so blind as to make an apparent friend the centre of my life, let alone throw away my relationship based on their approval or the opinions of a bunch of self-important people who think discussing someone else’s relationship over coffee qualifies them to judge it.

The sudden shift in him felt almost clinical, as though our relationship had become a case study assembled from online advice and even the way he left was assembled from online advice rather than something he was willing to understand through an honest conversation with me.

I know what it took for me to fall in love after years of believing I might never love someone that deeply.

I trusted his love enough to acknowledge my shortcomings without constantly fearing he would abandon me.

Yes, I became volatile at times, and I could have handled certain situations better. But I was reflecting, making changes as I wanted us to feel connected and jolly. He saw those changes, yet seemed determined to drag me back to an old version of myself. Somehow, my willingness to admit my weaknesses became ammunition to blame me for everything. What about the rape jokes he cracked? The time he said questionable things? I didn’t wanna keep a score. And I’ll not allow anyone to judge him for that.

The moment you’re weak, the person you love jumps on the high horse and exists. I wanted to spend a lifetime creating memories, wholesome love and laughter where there’s no ego or textbook judgments. Even saying this feels so funny as if this is even a reason to stop being with somebody you love xD

What hurts is that he once understood me in ways these people never could. They didn't live our relationship, know our history, witness every act of love, or understand the context behind things. They saw fragments and formed a verdict. Third-party interference eroded something deeply special between us. I would always remember his sweet face and those fingers that held my chin. Those mellow eyes. Even through my pain, I can’t ever paint him wrong. It’s a blessing to love so deeply but I’m just scared to be abandoned ever again.

And I’m grateful that he taught me that. I’ve also learnt that I must be perfect because anything else is weakness🧸

My two cents: keep your relationship problems private enough that people who haven't lived your relationship don't get to define it. I don’t think I’ll ever feel this strongly again.

I (28M) and my partner (28F) have been together for 4 years and have known each other since childhood. We love each other deeply and are considering marriage, but we have one major issue we can’t find a convincing solution to.

She recently secured a very stable Assistant Professor job in a smaller town, ~8 hours from Pune. Realistically, this could be her job for the next 30 years, and getting an equivalent position in Pune or another major city is extremely difficult.

I work in tech/product and am based in Pune. My future opportunities will mostly be in major tech cities. I’ve also bought a home in Pune, and my parents live here. Permanently relocating to her town would be very difficult for me professionally and personally.
The biggest difference is our idea of an acceptable marriage.

She’s comfortable with long distance for even 7–10 years if our careers require it. We’d meet during vacations/weekends, use WFH flexibility when available, and travel to each other.

For me, long distance is fine temporarily, but I don’t want it to become the default structure of my marriage. I want a shared home, everyday companionship, a common social life, and eventually to raise our children with both parents physically present.

Kids make this much harder. Neither of us wants to live away from our child during the early years. She would likely have the child with her because her job is location-bound, while my career may require me to remain in Pune or another tech city.

She says she’d happily move if she eventually gets an equivalent opportunity in a major city. The problem is that realistically, that opportunity may never come. Neither of us wants the other to sacrifice their career.

My biggest fear is that we’re considering marriage based on the hope that circumstances will eventually change, while our current trajectories suggest we could remain geographically separated for many years.

For people who’ve experienced long-distance marriage, especially after kids: is this actually sustainable for 7–10+ years? Or are we overlooking a fundamental incompatibility because we love each other

Please be candid. I’d rather hear uncomfortable opinions now than discover the reality five years into the marriage.

Not for any kind of relationship friendship dating etc, but just hangout and forget about the day. And i wanna keep it anonymous, like i would never want to see that person again or interfere in my life. I know this sounds weird but i wanna have someone like that. i am an extremely introverted girl 20 f and they shouldn't question me on anything, just be with me for sometime and then never see me again. Their age gender sexuality color race religion nothing would matter and they strictly shouldn't judge me on these parameters too. Just spend time together and nothing more. they should maintain secrecy and not tell anyone about me, and strictly not someone that i already know irl.

Ps not searching for this ideal person on reddit , but always welcome any leads on how to find them.

I had one boyfriend, we were quite happy and I was looking forward to marry him till I discovered that he was getting physical with around 9 women behind my back (hookups and all) when I confronted him, he told me things like I earn less than a sex worker per day, that my father is going to be dead soon (he had a surgery) etc. It is obvious we broke up..

Now I wish to marry and I can't come to terms with the fact that arrange marriage is the only option left for me when I always wanted to have a love marriage.

I've been repeatedly seeing all around me what a gamble and nightmare, arrange marriages are turning out to be. On the top of it, my family and cousins, all of them did love marriages and were hopeful of me to have a partner on my own, but fate had another plans.

The way my married cousins shame me for being single, for not having a love life and not walking down the aisle of love marriage... I feel as if life has failed me miserably. That I've turned out to be a failure in life. Imagine being so bad that nobody chosr me for being his wife.

This thought consistently keep playing on a loop on my mind and I've completely stopped to enjoy anything in my life, be it a promotion, travel, a new project anything and everything simply because I'm being made to feel that I'm a failure as I'm not gonna have a love marriage.

I myself feel so bad that what's the point of having everything when the one I loved dumped me, and nobody else in 26 years of life found me worthy enough to be a wife.

I am 19M hindu and she is 19F muslim. We are confused about our relationship.

We haven't committed to anything as we have just met.

My pov- I have a family to carry a whole 3 members whose life depends on me. And, I just love them very much. Matlab I can't live without them. Mar jaunga mai. Toh idk if they'll accept this. Because agar unhone mana kiya toh mai unke against nhi Jaa paunga. Toh what I'm saying to the girl is ki just become best friends. And, nothing else as I don't see our future.

Her pov- she likes me a lot because of my way of talking. Usse mere saath comfortable feel hota hai. So nice of her 🫠. Toh she is agreeing on friendship lekin keh rhi hai usko pata nhi maybe she fall in love. Toh she wants to live with me, she isn't a religious muslim and is an atheist. She is saying that we may settle abroad and can live together, If she falls for me.

I don't think what she is saying is practically possible and it's too hard. Also, relationship mai aane ke baad usse dur hone mai meri maut aa jayegi. We are literally confused. Help us out!!

I don't know how to deal with the immense amount of pain, regret, and resentment I am currently experiencing.

I’m kinda aware of my gf’s past where she was going out, making out with guys, and having sex. I hate that she got to live that life, and I didn't. I missed out on all of those experiences. Her body count was 4 before meeting me. She had also told me that she had the habit of sexting random strangers on Reddit; whereas, she was my first in every aspect. I feel that I didn't go out, I didn't have fun, and I didn't get to enjoy my youth.

Looking at her past makes me feel sick because of how stark the contrast is. I feel that I’m just one of the guys in her life.

Lately, she feels like breaking up with me because she feels like she can’t adjust to my family (my parents had come for my graduation as we both don’t stay in India). Of course there are moments where I feel loved and it feels nice. However, the current situation isn’t that great and her past keeps bothering me.

How do I process this intense grief of missing out?

Have been with my partner for 8 months.

We never talked about marriage. I just asked him if wants to marry me in future (I'm pretty young) to which he said I never this relationship was going towards marriage.

He doesn't think his parents would ever allow and he wouldn't go against them.

He already treats me like shit and now is saying that's why I say that don't fight with me as I want to give you the best time of your life.

He also said obviously wants to marry me but he can't.

Is this a fucking joke that we couldn't cleared this in the starting, wasted fucking eight months of life?

He said relationship doesn't mean marriage, I never said so.

I feel so confused and used at the same time.

I have already been so upset because he treats me so badly and now he said this, but my stupid heart is focusing on how he said he wants to marry me if he could.

He is 26.

So I (24F) have my boyfriend's(24M) (recently in a supposed relationship, previously friends) insta account logged-in on my phone. And there's this friend of his who has had a recent breakup so he's consoling her and getting the tea out of it. It doesn't seem like she has other close friends as such, and I'm not much of a fan of her either.

Nothing unusual, nothing abnormal going on. But she just fucking irritates me. I don't why, but just the type of conversations she hold irritates the fuck out of me. By the type of conversations I mean, she giving bare minimum fucks in the conversation with poor asf grammar and BF just not caring about it and giving her the same attention or a bit more than his other friends. She drops her crying and information in bits and pieces 🤡. It's like she'll tell you one thing, my boyfriend will ask another then she'll vanish into thin air. Wouldn't bring it up for weeks.

Few weeks later, she'll again drop fun facts or something about her feelings, my bf would ask another thing to get the context out of it. And there she goes, poof! The same thing happened today as well. He asked her why did she initiate the breakup and she replied with "why do you wanna know" when she was the one to bring it up first. It's fucking irritating to watch the conversation man. I don't understand how he doesn't find it irritating but I do 🙃

They're pretty good friends, and they liked each other a bit during our 2nd-3rd year of college but never confessed or such. But it was pretty obvious that something might happen, but they both don't wanna take initiative. So they didn't date. I was in a relationship back then.

No he wouldn't cheat. She wouldn't either. She's seems to be pretty much in love with her recent ex. We're not in love, just dating, that too accidentally somehow. But he's given us a tag, so that's that. I also had a breakup after last year 6 years of my relationship due to unavoidable circumstances, in which I was used to being loved and prioritised over anything and everything. I've never felt less prioritised or less loved before the breakup. Although, I'm almost over it and don't get remembered of my ex most of the days now. But it takes a toll on me, when I feel getting less attention or somebody getting more attention than me. I feel like if she had broken up before I did, and if she was in the same town as us, he'd most probably be with her instead of me today (be it as a friend or boyfriend).

I don't wanna communicate this with my current bf, because I don't feel like I have the authority as of now, and that he'll address this seriously either. We're just kinda going wherever this boat sails and just focusing on being happy and enjoying.

I've tried uninstalling instagram and logging out of his profile already, but I folded back to my doomscrolling 🫣

So the question now is, how the fuck do I stop getting irritated over her and her texts and their weird ass interaction according to me?

Hi ,What to do when you are confused in your relationship, my husband is a good person but he is super workaholic and his only genuine interest is work. And i am someone who enjoys other things as well, so because of his this behaviour we are not getting any family time and if we get some it’s only when i have made some initiative. I have raised this multiple times to him and there will be some change for few days but again go back to the normal self. I am a bit stuck and don’t know how to take it from here. He is a good person and that’s what makes things really difficult for me!

For anyone who has dealt with a workaholic partner (or is one themselves): How did you break out of this short-lived temporary fix cycle? Is this something that can actually change, or do I need to accept that this is just who he is?

I'm 24M, and I've been dating my girlfriend, 23F, for almost four years. Our relationship has been good overall. She's been loyal, honest, and someone I genuinely feel I can trust. I love her, and I believe she deserves the best this world has to offer.

But I'm struggling with something that has been eating away at me for years, and I'm hoping to hear from people who've experienced something similar.

A little background

When we first started dating, we discussed our past relationships. I'd had two girlfriends before her, but nothing physical beyond kissing. She'd had a few boyfriends and had been physically intimate with two of them.

At the time, these conversations didn't bother me. We even found some of the details and old messages funny. She never hid anything from me, and she had already moved on from those relationships.

One of her exes, whom she dated in 2019, appeared to have been deeply in love with her and wanted her back. He had cheated on her, though, and I read conversations in which she made it clear that she no longer had feelings for him and didn't want further contact. She eventually blocked him. Her other relationship was around mid-2021. We met in June 2022, when we were both in our first year of college.

Around five months into our relationship, something changed in me. I began experiencing intense distress whenever I thought about her past. Sometimes it was so bad that I felt physically sick and even vomited. I couldn't understand why something that hadn't bothered me initially was suddenly affecting me so much.

I also know that she'd been through a lot growing up. Her biological father passed away when she was four, and she wasn't treated particularly well by her stepfather's family. She struggled with that pain and eventually started smoking. I started smoking after we got together, too, although I've now stopped for two months and no longer really experience cravings.

Over the years, I've spoken to her about my feelings a few times. She's understanding and reassures me, which helps temporarily. Sometimes I can manage these thoughts reasonably well, but other times they return with overwhelming intensity. It's been a recurring cycle, and I'm exhausted by it.

Why it's becoming more difficult now

Lately, as I get closer to the age when people start seriously considering marriage, these feelings have become more complicated.

I keep thinking about how she experienced relationships and physical intimacy years ago, while I'm approaching marriage having never experienced sex with anyone other than her. A part of me feels like she got to explore that side of life before settling down, while I'm committing to one person without ever knowing what it's like to be with anyone else.

Now that I'm older, more confident, and receiving more attention from women, I find myself wondering whether I'm committing too early or missing out on something I'll eventually regret.

I work in a corporate environment where I sometimes see people who are already in relationships flirting with or pursuing other people. Seeing this makes me question things even more. On one hand, I know how difficult it can be to find someone loyal and trustworthy, and I don't want to throw away a genuinely good relationship over thoughts that might eventually pass. On the other hand, I wonder whether I'm choosing to settle down because this relationship is right for me or because I'm afraid I won't find someone I can trust as much.

The part I'm struggling to admit

I know her past isn't something she did to me. She was single, she had every right to make her own choices, and I wasn't even in her life at the time. I don't blame her for that.

I also understand the usual advice: the past can't be changed, the present matters more, and I need to work on my insecurities. I agree with those things intellectually. I'm not looking for people to tell me that she's a bad person or that she owes me anything because I've been a good partner.

But I think there's something deeper going on.

Growing up, I had this idealised picture of what my future relationship would look like. I wanted to meet someone, fall in love, experience those firsts together, and build something special from the beginning.

I've worked incredibly hard on myself over the years. I've tried to become more attractive, disciplined, educated, and financially successful. I put a lot of effort into becoming someone who could build the kind of life and relationship I'd always dreamed of.

And sometimes, when I think about our different experiences, I feel an overwhelming sense of unfairness. It feels as though I spent years working towards something that other people got to experience without having to work nearly as hard for it.

I know relationships aren't rewards for hard work, and nobody owes me anything for the effort I've put into myself. But knowing that doesn't make the feeling disappear.

I think part of me is grieving an experience I imagined having, while another part is terrified of losing a relationship that is genuinely good.

I'm aware that these feelings might be rooted in insecurity, comparison, unrealistic expectations, or some combination of all three. I'm willing to work on myself. I just don't know whether the answer is to keep working through these feelings until they lose their power, or to acknowledge that I may want a different kind of relationship experience before settling down.

What I'm asking for

I'm not asking Reddit to decide whether my girlfriend is good enough for me. She is a person I love and respect, and I don't want her judged for choices she made before meeting me.

I'm asking people who have been in a similar situation, especially those who have dealt with retroactive jealousy or struggled with feeling like they missed out on dating and sexual experiences:

If you stayed and worked through these feelings, did they genuinely fade over time? What actually helped?

If you eventually left a good relationship because you felt you needed to experience life independently, did you regret that decision?

How do you distinguish between an insecurity you should work through and a genuine desire for a different life?

For those who married their first sexual partner, did you ever regret not experiencing intimacy with other people, or did that concern become less important over time?

How do I stop comparing my life and experiences with those of other men without simply suppressing what I feel?

I'm scared of making the wrong decision in either direction. I don't want to lose someone I could have built a beautiful life with because I couldn't make peace with something that happened before me. But I also don't want to get married while secretly feeling that I've missed out on life, only for that resentment to grow later.

Please be honest with me, even if the answer is uncomfortable. I'd especially appreciate advice from people who have actually lived through something similar, rather than just telling me what I should feel or what the morally correct answer is.

I genuinely want to understand myself better before making a decision that could affect both our lives.