I honestly think something has changed when it comes to women’s hormones, and I don’t think we’re talking about it enough.
Older generations often dismiss what we’re experiencing because, according to the ones I’ve talked to, we’re too young to be dealing with “the change.” I’ve talked to my elderly female relatives, and they all say they were 10–20 years older when they started experiencing perimenopause symptoms, and that their symptoms weren’t nearly as severe as mine.
I even had a DUTCH hormone test, and my doctor told me my hormone levels looked like those of an 80-year-old woman. Before doctors figured out the connection between my hormones and recurrent UTIs, I was getting infections so severe that I developed sepsis and had to be hospitalized. My hormonal issues were contributing to my susceptibility to these infections.
Experiences like mine make me question whether what women are experiencing today is really comparable to what previous generations went through. I’m not convinced that all of this can simply be dismissed as normal aging or told away as something women have always dealt with to the same degree.
I suspect environmental endocrine disruptors could be playing a major role, along with the modern food supply, highly processed foods, synthetic additives, and diets that may not provide adequate nutrients. I also wonder whether these factors are affecting both women’s and men’s hormones.
And here’s another thought: When was the last time you heard someone talk about a “cougar”? 😂
As a millennial, I remember older women openly pursuing younger men and sometimes competing with younger women for attention. Now, it seems like that stereotype has practically disappeared.
Obviously, that’s anecdotal, and I’m not suggesting it proves anything scientifically. But I do wonder whether changes in hormones, health, and aging could be influencing more aspects of society than we realize.
Has anyone else wondered whether the hormonal changes women are experiencing today are different from those of previous generations? Are we seeing the effects of environmental exposures and modern lifestyles?
I know some will say we are simply becoming more aware of symptoms that women in the past suffered through in silence but after talking with older women, I doubt that’s the case. I encourage you to talk to elderly women about their experiences when going through what they called “the change of life”.
I’d genuinely like to hear other women’s experiences, especially from those who have compared their symptoms with those of their mothers and grandmothers. Also I’d like medical professionals and those studying this to help us find solutions for relief because this can be detrimental to our quality of life.

I just had to get assistance voting because I was dripping sweat onto my ballot. I thought the ink was going to start running 😭. My hand was pooling sweat, my hairline was soaked.
The wonderful women who checked me in are heroes. One asked if I was ok and the other said “You’re tomato red!” Then both clicked to my issue and said “hot flash!” in unison. Y’all, they gave me two I voted stickers and said I deserved it for toughing it out. That was mortifying and embarrassing as hell but thank you to every lady who helped me today either by laughing with me or offering support.

I know that thinning hair is part of peri but my hair was already thin before it and now this is really just making me crazy. I feel like I'm trying everything out there except minoxidil (my dr advised against it). The new thing I'm thinking about trying is one of those red light therapy helmets from current body. But I worry this is just one more thing I'll be spending on money on that delivers nothing. I also have PCOS, so it's a double whammy for the hair thinning for me. I'm curious what you ladies are sticking with for thinning hair? It is a red light therapy helmet? Is it rosemary oil? Something else maybe I haven't tried yet? I recently read about pumpkin seed oil supplements so I may try that as well.

Haven’t had a period in 2 months. Guess what I just got?! Yep. I feel too old to still be getting my period. Any other 52 year olds still getting it?😫

Can anyone share the changes you’ve experienced with your digestive system during perimenopause?

I’m 41 and over the past year I noticed an overall increase in my gassiness. Lately I’ve started to have more bowel movements as well. No constipation or diarrhea, and no pain or bleeding. Just trying to gauge how much other peri women have been affected similarly, and what might help.

I posted yesterday about my struggles, after years of not feeling myself and being put on SSRI since March, doc is finally starting me on HRT as of tomorrow when I can collect prescription. I feel relieved and exhausted. Any success stories, please send positive vibes my way, from a desperate and lost 44 year old woman 🙏

Has anyone experienced foods they normally like not tasting good? Many foods are blah to me now because the flavor either sucks or just isn’t that good. It’s hard to figure out what to eat when you don’t like anything. Btw, I have never been a picky eater in any way. I’ve always liked most foods and am open to trying new things.

Is this even a symptom of peri? Will it go away eventually? Is there anything I can do about it?

I forgot to change my HRT patch on Monday, I think I changed it a day later, and by Wednesday I was having full blown PMDD meltdown and a full period. Nightmare!! I’ve had absolute hell settling into the regime with evorel/gepretix, I’ve had soooo much breakthrough bleeding since I started 4 months ago, but I didn’t know my patch change would cause such chaos! I was a total bitch to someone at work then had a breakdown on the phone to my partner and had to leave work. Let’s just say I’ll be working to never miss patch change day ever again!! 😭

I just need to vent a bit!

I am 48 and on HRT, it has helped a lot with anxiety and mood swings for the past year or so, but now I feel really low again, and have so much muscle pain all the time.

Painkillers don’t seem to do anything. The pains seem to get triggered by exercise. I used to do a lot of HIIT and weight training, but now I can’t do much because any exercise, even very light weights will give me bad shoulder, neck or arm pain for a few weeks. I’m so worried about losing muscle. The only exercise I can do is walking, everything else hurts so much, I am crying in the evenings and feel so depressed. The progesterone seems to give me headaches too, I get around 4-7 a month, but before HRT I might only get one a month.

I have made an appointment with my doctor next week, but our surgery will only do phone calls now, and the line is always awful and we can’t hear each other.

I don’t know what to do, do you think I need to have my HRT adjusted? I use 3 pumps of oestrogel and 200mg progesterone vaginally, on days 15-26.

For me it’s not so much the perimenopause symptoms themselves, but the hormonal instability affecting other health issues I have.

Previously well-managed issues have become unstable and difficult to manage for the last 11 months. I’ve had several hospital visits, I was already on disability leave but now I’m requiring extra home supports. I’m missing most family events and in a lot of pain. I wake up very sweaty but also too dizzy and weak to shower without assistance.

I started HRT and it helped somewhat but my quality of life is still drastically reduced. My bloodwork shows very wide estrogen fluctuations, very high at times and very low at others. I had a hysterectomy so I don’t have periods as an indicator.

My doctor said this stage can last for 2 to 10 years. I truly don’t think I would survive 10 years of this, I’m already pretty frail and have 2 major surgeries on the docket for the coming 6 months.
I don’t know how I can survive recovery plus just feeling so extra shitty from peri.

How do you survive having serious medical issues + perimenopause making them increasingly hard to manage?

For most people how long does the severe fluctuations last? I just turned 40 but had a complicated hysterectomy 2 years ago that seems to have triggered early perimenopause.

I got surgery August 2025, due to horrific periods because of fibroids, would only end 5 days a month if I was lucky. I had severe anaemia.

Anyway fast forward to 8 months after, I was feeling great, having (protected) sex with my husband again, high energy. 12 months post op, I start getting Bv that won’t go away, bladder and uti symptoms but no positives, pattern hair thinning, exhausted most of the time, memory issues, and increased joint pain. Zero libido.

This entire time since right after surgery, I was given vaginal estrogen. I’m confused as to why I’m getting infections, I do everything right when it comes to hygiene and prevention.

I’m not even 33 yet and scared, I need to protect my bones especially, I broke my back 8 years ago and already struggle with that. Looking for general advice. Should I be taking systematic estrogen as well ? My doctor tested my hormones but she said it’s not really telling since in early menopause hormones fluctuate a lot. I kept my ovaries but everything else is gone.

I made an appointment with my primary yesterday to discuss my peri symptoms and what can be done about them. Doctors are so backed up in my area and the gynecologist I wanted to see is booked out until December and my former gynecologist is unavailable until mid November.

I told her about the forgetfulness, the weight gain, my periods changing and then being absent, plus the horrible mood swings. She seemed receptive and I thought I would receive help but she stepped out for about 10 minutes and I heard her talking to another doctor and they were both saying since my mom, grandma, and great grandmother all had breast cancer that she doesn’t feel comfortable starting me on HRT.

I left defeated. When I see the gynecologist in a few weeks I want to be prepared on what to say to them and if they still deny me I’m not sure what to do. I will be talking to my breast doctor and getting her opinion on HRT . I can’t just sit here and not be on some type of medication to help with this.

I'm currently on 300 mg of oral progesterone. It's been about 14 weeks. It's dramatically improved my anxiety and sleep. Before I had severe insomnia and was only getting an hour to 2 hours a night. Some nights I didn't sleep at all. The anxiety was horrible. I'm scared to change anything but the allopregnolone is too high. I feel dull and have a headache all day. I'm constantly getting hurt now with the same workouts I've done for years. I'm considering switching to vaginal. From what I'm reading that should be able to maintain my progesterone level but have less allopregnolone. I just can't figure out how much I should do if I should do the full $300 or less. Anyone with experience? My provider is clueless. She says vaginal doesn't have any systematic effect but that's not true from the studies I've read.

So it seems likely my face has become so sensitive. Every cleanser, serum, lotion, etc I’ve tried burns. Like the 00’s noxema “it’s burning so it’s working” burning with redness. I also have one flaky dry eyelid?! And my face just feels so so so dry, even with thick nighttime moisturizers. Other than a bit of hormonal acne my skin has been pretty chill but dang the past few months. I have a Derm appointment but not until December (and that was to address my back/butt-ne 🫠). Any recommendations for tried-and-true super gentle products I can try that aren’t outrageously priced?

Skin aging overnight

Does anyone else feel like their body is aging almost overnight? Im 55, still in perimenopause and it seems like the skin on my arms and legs is falling of my bones all of a sudden? Even on my forearms the skini just hanging like out of nowhere. It's really starting to freak me out. Is this because I'm on my way to real menopause? I have had a period since May of this year. Now I understand why older women cover up so much. The sad thing is that I've been working out and getting at much stronger, but now I feel embarrassed about my body all over again. And don't even get me started on my neck. That too, is suddenly wrinkled now when I'm just sitting. I want to cry.

I’ve been doing pretty well on 2 pumps Estrogel and 200 mg progesterone for several months now. Had a hysterectomy last year for fibroids but still have ovaries (I just turned 50). Things have been pretty level with a few spikes in symptoms here and there that I figured was my ovaries doing their thing now and again. But for weeks now my boobs have been sore - specifically my nipples, as in like even wearing a bra is uncomfortable. I chalked it up to too much estrogen so have been doing 1 pump of E gel per day, but they are still super sore, and to top it off now my left eye is twitching nonstop and my eyes are super duper dry. I get that my ovaries might still act like I’m cycling, but this has lasted a few weeks so I’m super confused. Maybe I should stop the E altogether for now?

I’m soon 48, have my periods still and was put on bc 1,5 yrs ago for suspected peri symptoms.

My period has diminished to 2-3 days from prior 5-6. I decided to test what happens if I stop the bc pill.

Damn the night sweats and hot flashes came quickly back and I didn’t even remember how terrible it was! Tossing and turning all f’n night. Needless to say I’m back on the pill and it seems they really work for at least this symptom for me.

This is to those wondering where to start. Bc might be a good idea and you cam still track your period. At least give it a shot, if your Dr. and you agree on that.

I’m still tired af and considering changing to HRT but just wanted to share that this might be of help on the early stages.

Much love to all!🩵

Hi all, first thank you to all who responded to my last post. I went to my pcp and he thinks i may have perimenopause.
I have a question about fatigue. With peri hpw bad can the fatigue get? I have multiple times a week where i am sleeping 13-15 hrs and the other days i sleep a lot. I feel like the hot flashes and sweating wears me out a lot. The night sweats also causes me to wake up a lot so im very tired the next morning. Thank you for any responses.

I'm currently on the .75 patch. My dosage was increased 9 weeks ago from .50 to .75. I actually feel worse. I still have my periods although the are sporadic. Has anyone experienced this? My symptoms are worse, headaches, heart palpitations, irritability, and mood swings! All comments are welcomed!

I’m 38. My period has always been relatively normal and usually lasts 5-6 days. My last few cycles I’m only bleeding for about 3 days. The first day is normal amount of blood and then it basically just tapers off over the next two days to nothing. My cycle has remained the same and is consistently 26-29 days as it’s always been.

Is this normal for 38? Did this happen with anyone else? Is this perimenopause? Lol. I’ve been feeling off for months now, major ramped up anxiety and brain fog although I also have adhd, but nothing about my actual cycle had changed until now.

Hey all,

I am in my first cycle of HRT and I’m using the gel and 200mg progesterone from day 15 to day 26.

It has been 7 days since I stopped my progesterone and I am still not bleeding, no cramping and nothing to suggest that I’m due for a bleed.

I can’t even provide you with any idea of what my cycle looked like before starting HRT because I’ve been on the pill for 30 years and frequently skipped my period.

I had a bleed when coming off the pill before starting HRT to form my day 1 so it looks like I’m still able to bleed.

My question for you all is, how long did it take you to have your first bleed on your first cycle of HRT?

Also, I’m 46yo and my mum didn’t hit menopause until 56yo so I’m not expecting to be done this young.

Also, I would like to also celebrate that I’m now sleeping through the night as my vasomotor symptoms seem to have resolved in the last 5 weeks of HRT. 🥳

Thank you all in advance. I’d love to hear about all of your experiences.

Need experience please. I'm having my first period since starting Estradiol and having a IUD placed. I'm having an awful period... I am having cramps daily and it is dragging out soooo slowly over the past week. Nothing about this is my normal. Is this common and does it get better? I have so many less symptoms of perimenospause, but it has been traded for a horrendous period. This isn't a good trade off so far.

For a couple of years now I’ve been (more often than not) waking up at 3:30AM. It wasn’t too bad, I’d go eat a snack and go right back to sleep, but there was a definite need to get up and move rather than just roll over and go back to sleep. I’ve tried various doses of Magnesium glycinate, glycinate on its own, l-theanine, and a combination of the 3. It’s gotten to where if I don’t take magnesium glycinate at night, I’ll stay awake longer. I’ve been seeing a pelvic pain specialist for a long time now for nerve pain on my inner labia and a few weeks ago the NP at that office prescribed me .5 gram of vaginal estrogen cream twice a week for vaginal dryness. I don’t remember if it started before or after I started the cream, but I started waking up at 1:45 AND 4AM and both wakings come with knee aches. These knee aches only occur in the middle of the night. The night before last I was awake from 1:45-4:30. Last night I decided to try half of a trazodone from a left over prescription my oldest child had a couple of years ago (he hasn’t take them in forever). I slept better than I had in ages. I’m now worried about needing a sleep aid in order to sleep through the night. I don’t know what the long term effects will be and I’m upset and worried about this whole thing in general. I have an OB appointment coming up soon and I plan on bringing it up. Life just isn’t fair.

49F well into perimenopause. I had one period about two months ago, after not having had one for about 10 months. since I was about 40 I had a great sex drive. But over the last 2-3 months it completely disappeared. I don’t even want to be touched! It’s awful. I AM on HRT and have been for a couple of years. I had a bad experience with progesterone and am no longer taking it orally. also started ketamine for severe and treatment resistant anxiety two months ago so wondering if that has something to do with it…can anyone relate?

Hi all,

Has anyone else here experienced loss of libido as their first sign of peri?

I'm 43 with normal periods and no other telltale peri symptoms (e.g., no hot flashes, no brain fog, no lack of concentration, no emotional symptoms like unexplained or new anxiety, no trouble sleeping, etc.). However, I have developed a very strong lack of sex drive and unexplained aversion to sex now. I am married (just celebrated 13 years!) and my husband is a wonderful man, I love him very much, and I'm very attracted to him....but I cannot stand him touching me outside of cuddling or hugging. Sex is also something I no longer think about or want, and seeing it in movies or on TV actually now grosses me out and makes my skin crawl, almost like I'm a little kid again.

I cannot think of what this could possibly be outside of peri starting given my age and lack of other possible triggers. I have no new work stress and no kids in the house (have a 23 year old stepdaughter who lives with friends in an apt). I told my OB/GYN last year about this and they had my thyroid tested - it was fine. Vitamin D, all that stuff - also fine. (Had more of that tested again at my primary care doctor appt this year - ferritin, all that, also fine.) My OB/GYN did not want to jump into prescribing me HRT with normal, consistent periods and no other reported symptoms besides loss of libido. I'm preparing to see her again here in another few weeks for my annual check up. Nothing is different for me to report.

Where do I go from here to troubleshoot? Do I need to see a different doctor to explore the HRT angle harder? Am I jumping the gun if I have no other symptoms to report? I miss actually wanting to have sex, and obviously, so does my husband. I think we've had sex MAYBE 3 or 4 times this year because that's how bad I hate it now (which is a 180 degree change from younger me and me when we got married).

Thanks in advance for any tips!