Its been a WHILE since i wore a skirt

I usually present more masc but today i felt more fem <3

Edit* “E not T” stupid spell check.

34 in the first pic, 31 in the second.

Felt compelled to post after a conversation I just had with my mother.

I never really came out to her directly - when I legally changed my name, I obviously had to tell her if I wanted her to use it. I changed my presentation, too, but never told her I started HRT or anything like that - not until she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and I had to learn whether I was at risk, too.

We've always had a complicated relationship - she has BPD and for most of my life has been very emotionally abusive, to the extent that my two brothers have gone non-contact. I myself have only been able to maintain a relationship with her after years of psychotherapy as a young adult, whereby I essentially re-framed her as a 'family friend' rather than my mother. For that reason, I've always been hesitant to share anything with her.

So it was a surprise to me that, except for my wife, my mother is my biggest ally. I sent her this picture and she told me she can't stop looking at it - how much happier and younger I look, happier than she'd ever seen me. She said it inspired her to be her best self and she was so proud of me. It's nice, but bittersweet; I know from experience that due to her BPD she'll likely weaponise this part of me and use it against me the next time she has a serious episode. But still, it's better than the alternative. Not sure why I'm posting this exactly, maybe someone out there can relate to this experience in some way.

I got a little carried away with the last outfit😅😊

It's been a wild ride to get to here and I'm so unbelievably happy to start HRT. As soon as I took the first pill it felt like a switch flipped. I was having issues identifying with a gender. Non-binary always felt right because I didnt think it was possible to be able to see myself as a woman. Well not anymore😁 I feel vein but I keep just staring at myself in the mirror just smiling at the pretty girl looking back at me😊

I spent the day shopping for clothes with my wife and newborn and the night partying like I was back in college with my best friend❤️

I want to thank you all for your support over the past year or so🤘 I know the only validation I need is from myself but it definitely helped to have some encouragement along the way😁

Love you all, sending good karma your way♥️

—

“are you a boy or a girl?”

yes.

Got my new license! Has my new legal name and the X gender marker! Really happy to see my transition in progress.

Mod approved post*

When I(MtNB demi-guy) look at diagrams of human sexual dimorphism or really any art where a male body and a female body is put side by side for contrast, i feel dysphoric, it feels like it is telling me "ultimately you are either a man or a woman and you look like this where as women look like this and you will never have these traits, you will be stuck with only the traits i have shown men here to have" and yknow that feel invalidating and gives me dysphoria. But like, "what do you what then? these are facts, do you want us to just not tell people about these facts?" i would first contest that, those are not as factual as that question makes it out to be, and then i would have no answer, i dont know what people can do to stop this, feels like im making a ridiculous demand by just feeling the dysphoria

CW: eating issues

In general, this is of course true and very well known in trans communities. However, I have not personally realised the extent of this until recently.

The possibility of starting HRT has presented itself in the past few weeks, which has revealed that my gender dysphoria is far worse than I’ve believed in the past. I have never had very much physical dysphoria, but now I experience it on a near-daily basis.

Anyway. I have also been struggling with my eating habits recently, and it has come to my attention how much gender-affirming care would directly assist with that issue. Not only on the HRT front, but also surgeries. If I ever have the ability to get the gender-affirming surgery I want, I think my eating issues could significantly decrease.

As someone who’s deeply interested in psychology, the interactions between gender dysphoria and other mental health issues in this way are really interesting to me. Especially since gender dysphoria as a whole is so under-researched, crossovers like this are even less so.

Hii I've recently been questioning my gender, and I was wondering the ways that non binary people would describe their internal sence of gender, because recently i've found that i dont really "feel" any gender feeling isnide unless i want to. I kind of full like i can i "wear" gender, and only really feel like a girl or a guy in that case, when I'm intentionally putting myself in "guy mode" or "girl mode" otherwise i dont really feel like a guy or a girl. I

But yeah if any of you would like to talk about your experience it would really help reguardless of if its similar or not!(im also just curious in general:) )Thanks!

Lately I've been feeling more and more like an imposter. I've definitely been dressing more femme.. (I'm AFAB)

So it's making me feel fake. It's also hard because of my chest size, binding doesn't really do anything. So I feel like I just can't be myself.

I live in a house that's very much full of trans people, but I feel like unlike everyone else, I just can't be what I wanna be. I feel like I'm doing it wrong (even though there's no right or wrong.. logically I know this) but I feel like my body is forcing me to be leaning towards one gender instead of more NB. But sometimes I reallyyyyy don't mind the femme.

But I also don't know how to mix the two?

Maybe I'm just confused because everyone else seems to know what they want.. and I keep just.. bouncing around?

I'm on low dose t if this makes a difference with anything.

Idk what I want from this tbh. I'm just lost and confused and questioning everything.

For years i have been trying to understand my own gender, identity and how to deal with seemingly confusing/ contradictory feelings regarding euphoria and dysphoria.

In terms of “what i identify as” i think that genderfluid has been able to describe it the best, i feel very neutral for most of the time but eventually “find comfort” in each end of the gender spectrum, i’m AMAB but i particularly have a fondness for femininity, long hair, no body hair, make up, dresses, etc, but again comfort and fondness doesn’t equal identity, i can never truly call myself either a man or a woman, never feels right, and i don’t care much about what pronouns people use to describe me.

Body wise is where things get a bit complicated, i naturally have big shoulders/ chest and a square jawline so whenever i feel feminine those traits can bother me a lot and cause dysphoria, so i try to hunch my shoulders and train my bottom half to develop more muscles there, but even when I’m feeling feminine I’m not sure if i want to have breast or not (at least not big ones), but after a couple of weeks/ months it’s the opposite feeling, I now suddenly hate my thighs and want to have a more manly frame and start training my upper half again, it’s a constantly frustration regarding the body.

There are some things that stay consistently tho, i like to have long hair, little to no body hair, a more hourglass/ inverted triangle esque shape, but there are some things that bother me constantly as well, such as my voice and i feel bottom dysphoria for most of the time (even when “feeling manly”), and am seriously considering bottom surgery, but i don’t know how it will affect my hormones and how to keep things in balance.

I honestly really wish that i looked more androgynous and that I had “nothing” down there or at the very least a vagina to not look so out of place/noticable.

I’m not sure what to label all of that, trans, gender fluid, non binary, i’m a bit confused about this whole deal, sometimes it feels so clear what i should be and do but then literally the next day those feelings seem to change

Are there any fictional characters you truly think are non-binary? Preferably would want answers from other nb folks :)

(These are about head-canons, don’t comment characters who are officially nonbinary pls)

Hi, I'm Amab but I now go by He/they, although I'm starting to feel very They leaning because today I was very overwhelmed by a feeling of intense gloom that sucked any and all energy out of me, I feel like a disgusting aberration of nature that can never hope to be content in my body, I have intrusive thoughts of anger and jealousy of Afab people, even though I know on every level its wrong, because they are born with softer bodies and have an easier time attaining the body shape I wish I had, And I'm broken up inside because I know my mom will accept me when I come out but I'm still mad at her for giving birth to a child who feels like they're broken in body, mind, and soul, even though I once again know it's unfair of me to blame her for that, and then I get mad at myself because I know other people have it much worse than me. anyway yeah sorry for the rant

I love Pikmin

So I'm going to this event, for which I had to register, and when doing that I saw the options for 'select gender' were 'masculine', 'feminine' and 'non binary', so for the first time I actually registered myself with 'non binary' and felt so happy about it for a while, finally feeling like selecting my gender wasn't an "ehh well, not this one, so I guess the other one" situation. Anyways, few hours pass, and I get dressed to go to said event. I got dressed in a way that would usually be associated with my agab, which is always a bit of a challenge, because I have to remind myself that clothing doesn't equal gender and that my gender is still valid no matter how I dress, still I feel much more comfortable dressing up that way now that I'm non binary, feels like it's more of an aesthetic choice and not an expression of a gender I'm not. Anyways, onto my rant: a close family member saw my outfit for the day and said "I like this style better than your girly boy-boyish girl ones", and it honestly hurt a bit and made me want to change clothes even though I really liked the fit I had put together, because it now felt like it was invalidating of my gender. I tried to confront this person about the why they thought it was better, and they just kinda got mad and said something like "well, bet it's cause I'm old and have old ideas" which would sound like an apology, but was more of a "what can I do about it? That's the way I think and it won't change".
Anyways, just wanted to tell someone about it because I'm not fully out to anyone irl yet, thanks for reading c:

uhh idk what to put here so have this egg instead -->🥚

Feeling for my transsexual siblings on TERF island, feels like every other week they take away more rights