Btw i think i am heavily narcissistic

TL;DR: I bring cookies to work because I like to have a reason for nice people appreciating me.

I realized when I was 12 that I didn’t have any friends. I realized when I was about 19 that it was because I was ND but also just a clueless asshole. I blame my parents, they were assholes too and isolated me from better influences that did exist in our community. Anyway.

I started a merchandising job late last year. Early this year I guess I wasn’t getting enough attention and so I decided I was going to be the person who brings in desserts to share at my accounts.

I started practicing cookie recipes again after not baking for a few years. The first people I shared them with were very nice, and a few even gave some polite suggestions for what to make the next time. I tried out what they wanted, tweaked ingredients & baking time, and most of what I make comes out REALLY good. A couple people started referring to me as “the cookie girl”. Now I can just leave full plates up at the counter and they know where to get them.

Baking for others gives me supply when I’m feeling evil and good vibes when I’m feeling like I need to pay people back for secretly supply-siphoning their good vibes.

I don’t like the idea of people liking me just for being me, so I’ve gotten very good over the last several months at something I can point to as a reason for the appreciation given to me that I live on.

I feel empathy greatly. Perhaps I am an empath. Just because I think I'm more important than other people doesn't mean I can't feel empathy. One has little to do with the other, for me.

Hey, everyone. I need advice on something that is going on for several years now. I tried to manage that but can't since it has a base on trauma I guess. I have 3 classes left to finally graduate and become an engineer, but those classes are physics and math which require lots of problem solving. Well.. My dad used to traumatize me when I was a child, like he was "teaching" math to me but what he did was constant yelling, threatening, and humiliating. Anyways this has a very negative effect on my academic life since I can't sit down and study to save myself because I get anxious and panic. During exams, I have panic attacks and have to leave the room or otherwise I am afraid I'll embarrass myself.

My question is any advice on how to regulate my emotions and study rather peacefully? And how to decrease my anxiety and panic attacks so I can focus on my paper during exams? Thanks in advance..

“Narcissistic racism” I guess ALL bad people are narcissists now lol I hate that this universal label using this DISORDER in particular had to occur during MY lifetime and after MY collapse. (Selfish take but I know it sucks for all of us.)

How do you feel about people who copy your personality and style? How do you handle them? Is there a way to stop them? Advice is appreciated.

i’m 22f and in a long term relationship w my bf 23m.
lately my life situation changed, i’m doing my masters diploma since a few weeks.
i always had diagnosed cluster b problems, but it got better over time w lots of therapy.

my main struggles are with my relationship, because i sometimes dissociate cognitive and act as if im not in a relationship (due to opportunistm, sadly). i wouldn’t mind cheating at all morally but i control my self and don’t.

but now, this new situation arose: im doing my master in a class of 10 ppl, 9 of those are men….
(studying chemistry). i find some of them really attractive and have the worst thoughts of cheating.. I surely wouldn’t but im just so surprised of myself, how disgusting my thoughts are, i hate it!!!
and besides that, i never told any of them that im in a relationship (wasn’t a topic tho) and i feel like i wouldn’t be worth to be around, if they knew..
the 2 guys who are most attractive to me are pretty very sure also attracted to me.
im insanely disappointed and disgusted by myself, my thoughts. on the other hand, it feels like i can’t but also won’t stop

sorry… im just venting tbh. but i would like different perspectives and maybe some helpful ideas on how i could change my mindset:/
i wish i would be less opportunistic and less interested in romantic romances besides my relationship.
i really relapsed HARD since my master started, i was doing sm better before

I found out my cat had an ingrown nail and abscess at the vet and the only thing I worried about was how much money I was about to be spending. All I cared about was how they would think I’m a bad person and neglectful. Being more preoccupied with myself than my cat’s pain feels wrong, but at the same time I don’t care. I like my cat because she’s cute and I don’t mind spending the money when I have it.
I feel this way for people in my life too. I only deal with them if there’s some kind of benefit and if not I don’t see a reason to spend time and money around them. Weird thing is that I’ll cry about strangers and causalities that happen overseas. I volunteer a lot too, but only do it for resume building and if I’m passionate about a subject, like homelessness or autism care. I don’t know if this is NPD, but I sure feel like I’m self absorbed.

Have you ever had genuine friendships? Do you find it easy to make friends with people, whilst struggling to maintain them?

All my friendships have been relatively flimsy. I never really felt understood by anybody, and never really felt like the grace I have shown to other people has been extended back to me. It's easy for me to make 'friends' with people, but most of it involves me having to mask. I end most acquaintanceships because I am very sensitive to perceived disrespect. It makes for quite a lonely existence. I feel like I never really knew how to be a person.

What are your views / experiences regarding friendship?

The hypocrisies, the lies, the needless gossip and triangulation, the criticism no one asked for, and god, the power struggles. All of it makes me sick. I don’t want to get to know anyone closely anymore Im just here for a good time. I used to be open to making closer friends but I think I’m over it for good. You’d think it’s something I’d thrive in because of my NPD but being surrounded by energy like this all the time makes me ill.

It's like I achieve something massive get all the praise and then a week later it feels like it happened to someone else. I can barely even recall the details. Is this just part of the grandiosity or something else entirely. It's frustrating because it makes it hard to feel lasting satisfaction.

I'm strongly considering it because the current girl doesn't seem to wanne jump into a relationship.

Also i'm bored, i miss doing roleplay and experimenting in bed.

I still have some self doubt but it could give me more supply.

I’m pathetic. I know. Put me out of my misery. I need to know I’m worthless. I’ll worship you. You’re so much better than me. You’re perfect. Break me down into something unrecognized. Please.

I should be a kid who uses my vulnerability to get what I want if I wasn’t taught properly. Seeing people get hurt was something I quite enjoy seeing. I am always curious on how it happened to them that I ask a lot of things. How did it happen? What did you do? Our school has quite a bit of fighting after school. I would be there watching them punch each other and feel somewhat comfortable and satisfied. I know I’m not ASPD and I refuse to acknowledge it. I just thought I’m a sadist.

Im disabled and its been getting worse. Im having to get a wheelchair because of it. Ive lost my abilities to do things more and more and its so degrading. I cant clean my own space without flaring up and have needed help to clean. It feels humiliating to have to beg for help with simple chores. Its very hard not to crash when that ego and sense of superiority gets hit with relying on others and being unable to reciprocate so now I feel like I'm in their debt and i HATE it. Ive been self sufficient my whole life and its all crashing down. Struggling to do my laundry while my friends clean their whole fucking houses

The last 6 months have been a journey. In mid-may of 2026 I, (21m), went to a 30 day residential treatment program in LA. A month prior i was 5150’d and a couple weeks after I bought a handgun and toyed with the idea of suicide. I’ve struggled with chronic suicidal ideation since the age of 16.

Following the treatment center in LA, I went to a residential PHP/IOP program that I was at for three months and have since returned home, where I have been for a month and a half.

With that context, I had suspected I had a cluster B personality disorder since before going to treatment. I originally thought it was BPD but the more time in treatment made me think it was closer to co-occurring or just outright NPD.

With that said life now is good. Great even. I have a partner that I am currently dating that I had previously dated about a year ago, we reconnected in treatment via text. My problem is this. The longer I’m back home, the harder it has been to avoid previous thought patterns that let me to destroy relationships or hurt people around me.

Dopamine has been my drug for as long as I can remember. Attention, sex, risky behavior, stealing, and the list could keep going. I’ve previously avoided jail time after a violent episode around a year ago when the person I had built in my head collapsed.

I’m just so tired of being unsatisfied. My desire for more and more is endless. It is a void that can’t be filled. I’ve learned to not feed it anymore. I want to be happy in my relationship and with my life. The urge to give in to give in to filling that bottomless hole just gets stronger.

Anyone relate? Any advice? Not sure what I’m looking for.

I've been trying very hard to genuinely love someone. But I realized that I only like or love this person because of the way they make me feel, and what they do for me. So is that even genuine love? Then again, what is even genuine love? I mean I get it, there are people out there who genuinely love someone because of how they smile, of how they look or talk etc. But I can only fall for people because of what they bring for me. Like if they are funny then they make me laugh, or if they compliment me then they make me feel good. So is that love or not?

I'm a 21-year-old male, dependent on my parents and NEET. Every day of my life feels like agonising torture. I have no friends or anything. The only attention I get, or "supply", is from random women online who I talk to purely for the lustful thrill, and even that is becoming extremely dull and irritating.

I have no driving licence, and I live in the middle of nowhere. No matter how many times I try to pass my theory test, it's like nothing ever works out. I fail miserably over and over again, and I can't even afford to pay for the test myself because I have no money. This means I have to completely rely on my parents, whether that's asking them for help with driving or trying to get them to help me find a job with my somewhat miserable grades and failed Maths GCSE, which I never attempted again.

They make constant promises about helping me, or claim they're "looking for jobs", but then nothing ever happens. I genuinely can't name one single thing that's happened this year that feels like actual progress, and it's driving me insane. Accompany this with my extreme fear of ageing and missing out (FOMO), and it's becoming almost unbearable.

Most of my days consist of rotting in my room, staring at a screen all day, severely bored and having absolutely nothing enjoyable to do. The only enjoyment I've really been getting besides online attention is from drinking, and even then, my parents constantly restrict how much I can have. They keep telling me things are "going to change", but nothing ever does.

The only "person", or thing, I talk to throughout the day is literally ChatGPT. On top of everything else, I'm constantly worrying about my appearance, and every single flaw I notice drives me up the wall. I feel like complete wasted potential, and I heavily blame a lot of this on my parents, who have always done everything for me and essentially enabled this kind of dependence.

Now, however, I'm getting extremely close to my breaking point. My youth feels like it's disappearing before my eyes, and the best I ever seem to get is someone promising to help me, only to do absolutely nothing. I've even tried therapy, but it never seems to work, and it takes so ridiculously long to actually get anywhere with it in the first place.

The emotional crashes are constant, and they feel as though they're getting worse and worse. I've choked myself with a belt, and I've even broken my door by repeatedly slamming my head into it until I bled. Whenever I harm myself, I eventually notice what I've done and see the marks on my body. I then try my absolute best to cover them because I feel so ugly and disgusted when I see them which is why i prefer blunt force rather than something what might scar my body for life.

Imagining my future makes these feelings even worse. The thought of being 30 years old, working a minimum-wage job because I could never manage to do anything meaningful with my life, is genuinely eating me alive.

Then, whenever I actually go somewhere, my dad has to come with me because I can't drive. I see people my age walking around with their friends or girlfriends, wearing nice clothes, enjoying themselves and experiencing everything I feel I should be experiencing. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with this oaf beside me, feeling completely dependent and miserable, I envy them greatly and think about how unfair or unjustified people i veiw as below me are allowed to do that when i cant.

The fact that Halloween is coming up makes me think about all of this even more. I've never even been to a proper party or anything of that sort. Knowing that I'll probably spend yet another event rotting away in the same room, which has essentially become a prison to me, is incredibly daunting.

What's particularly frustrating is that I actually have physical traits I'm happy with. I'm well-endowed, 6'2", quite good-looking and muscular. In a strange way, having these traits only makes everything worse because I feel as though I have so much potential that's being wasted. I see my body as something that's slowly ageing and decaying while I accomplish absolutely nothing with it.

I'm reaching a point where I genuinely struggle to see another option. I've had thoughts about throwing myself out of a window or taking an overdose, partly because I desperately want people to understand how much I actually hate my life. I feel as though doing something extreme might finally make them take me seriously, rather than dismissing everything as me being dramatic or simply not doing well "at the moment".

In a way, I want them to feel upset and recognise the part they've played in all of this.

And it's not as though I haven't tried. I've applied for jobs, I've attempted to make progress with driving, and I've genuinely tried to improve my circumstances. Yet I can't even get my theory test sorted because I have no money.

Whenever I talk to people, I feel extremely robotic and off-putting. Sometimes it even feels as though other men automatically have something against me, almost as though they're jealous or dislike me for some reason. I struggle to connect with anyone properly, which only makes the isolation worse.

Seriously, if my life carries on like this, with this much emotional pain, I genuinely don't know how much longer I can cope.

Online, I can experience feelings of superiority and confidence, but the crashes afterwards have become so extreme that I end up entering a disgustingly pathetic state. The contrast between how I sometimes perceive myself and the reality of my everyday existence is becoming unbearable.

I feel trapped, dependent, isolated and completely terrified that I'm watching the best years of my life disappear without ever getting to properly experience them and if im honest i feel as though im on the brink of causing alot of terror as my final act.

This is mainly because i do share a lot of traits with narcissism and i'm also suffering with dpdr.

Could something like narcissism develop in order to keep the mind intact while its actively deregulating itself from its surroundings?

I do feel also that this came about due to me feeling neglected by my parents despite how much they do for me to feel comfortable.

My whole life ive felt that the validation i receive from others is the only thing setting my worth, even though ive felt like everyone in my life was beneath me. I dont know what to do, i dont know who to talk, i mean ive always known that something is wrong with me, but i didnt know what it was. I hate myself, im very young, but i dont know how ill deal with this much longer and if i can..

I (18M) have grown up with a narcissistic father, being the source of lasting childhood trauma that interferes strongly with my daily life. I still rely on him financially as much as I wish to cut ties. However, when I was looking into the signs of narcissistic behavior, I began to recognize myself more and more as I read. Ultimately I’m mirroring my father’s own tactics to win his favor, as manipulative as it is, and I’ve noticed it bleeding into other areas of life. Everything is transactional to me whether I realize it in the moment or not. I find myself instinctively falling into manipulative thinking patterns and end up hurting others before I notice it happening. I show sympathy/empathy out of social obligation but internally I don’t register it at all. I feel like I have always needed control in my life since I was old enough to establish a sense of self, and I fear this will impact the few friendships and positive relationships I do have. In the past I’ve never really been honest and upfront with any therapists, and I’m wondering what the best steps to take would be.

Feeling grossed out by my friend trying to get under my skin. I’m sure he’s also a narc which makes it easier to talk to him but currently he’s been negging me and it feels so nasty to talk to him while knowing what he’s doing. I enjoyed talking to him now he’s at the stage where he’s trying to tip the power dynamic and I can’t stand it but don’t want to cut him off entirely. What should I do here?

i hate that my physical presence is smaller than i am. imagine thinking youre the greatest of them all and youre shorter than at least 90% of your same sex peers. i feel like everyone around is thinking "who does he think he is"