It may be just my FYP but I've seen so many of them lately. I have a lot of eyes on me especially on Tiktok I am genuinely scared of what would happen if me having NPD somehow got out. I don't talk about it publicly, I'm scared to for this exact reason even tho I hate the feeling of having to hide. I'm easily set off, I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Is there anyway to treat narcissism? Like, I know there isn't meds but does it get better? I'm losing my closest friendship over this disorder and I want to try to better myself. I'm covert but I struggle to not make thing about myself, apparently my friend is at their breaking point and sent me a document detailing everything wrong and they didn't sugar-coat it. (I don't blame them.) I'm quite self-aware when I am acting narcissistic but I don't know how to not, I can't converse with people without flipping it to me, I can't collaborate without filling it with my ideas and I can't appreciate others as much as I know I want to. My friend admitted they hate that we're going to the same university next year and they wanted a fresh start away from me. I actually hate it, I hate how I'm self-aware and I hate how I'm hurting people. Does it get better? How can I make myself better?

I find it so difficult to get anything done if I don’t have someone to constantly cheer me on from the sidelines. I need positive approval 24/7. I have long term aspirations but I’ve always found goals with quick social payoff to be easier. The world and everything I do feels so dull and boring without it, I’ll usually have an incessant itch in my head to be scratched followed by a loss of interest and motivation if whatever I’m doing doesn’t scratch it. Oddly enough my actual attention span seems to work just fine, I can easily sit in a waiting room while doing nothing, get through a slow paced book, or take notes during a lecture (although I only became capable of this after I started taking Wellbutrin for depression and ADHD.) Yes I know that second diagnosis sounds like the obvious answer here but my ability to wait for narcissistic supply specifically instead of just having it RIGHT NOW and being unable to continue my work without it hasn’t budged at all!

Anyone struggle with anything similar? Or have any insight or advice?

I’ve been trying to “talk to myself” during solitary endeavors to get me through them via notebooks or textedit which works-somewhat while also making me feel completely insane while doing it. So I guess I’ve already engineered a “solution”-ish but wanted to bring the topic here either way. (To clarify, the issue with it isn’t that it makes me feel insane, but that it feels like taking an ibuprofen for a blown off leg. AKA not quite useless but not quite useful either.)

I've been working on a whole bunch of stuff, it's been honestly really difficult but I'm getting there bit by bit. How's everyone else's progress

You give them just enough to think they understand you. You see that flicker in their eyes that they're almost there. Then you pull back a little. It's so much more fun watching them reach for something they can't quite grasp.

It doesn't matter how good I am, or how authentic I am, or how kind or giving or anything that I am, I still just feel like there's that core problem of needing to be perfect. It's like an itch that can't be scratched. I still need to devalue some people in even the smallest, tiniest ways that they never see during regular conversation and I fucking hate myself for it. Someone looks at me in a completely neutral way? Oh no, I've just completely fucked something up or made an ass of myself. Even saying that the "normal" people have it easier is me pointing out that I suffer in a special and different way.

I know it might be a weird question to ask a community of people with a disorder if people who don't have that disorder experience something, but sometimes when someone criticizes me unexpectedly I have an episode where I wanna yell at the person viciously for criticizing me and I'm only now starting to not yell at people who unexpectedly criticize me. I thought maybe I really relate to covert NPD but no diagnosis so idk. But more than the description of covert NPD, I really intensely relate to the description of narcissistic collapse where you sometimes even need to be hospitalized over an unexpected criticism. One of my bigger traumas is someone unexpectedly criticizing me by saying I don't take criticism well, using an example of me at my most mature (discussing with everyone calmly how to handle my screw up). And they used that to say I'm actually really bad at taking criticism which ironically made me permanently worse at handling others trying to make even just suggestions on how they think I should play games if I just think they mean it maliciously. My therapist doesn't really wanna diagnose me with anything but I haven't gotten to these experiences specifically. My worst trauma took place over the course of 2 years so there's a lot to talk about before definitely having a lot of space to talk about NPD traits but I think I might have ASPD traits specifically difficulty with morality but it doesn't get in the way of life except my mom while I was still living with her saying "I shouldn't have to explain why this is wrong". I've been diagnosed with BPD but my therapist wants to be careful since I'm self diagnosed plural (no diagnosis means not sure which dissociative disorder).

Is it possible for me to have narcissistic collapse SUPER intensely without the rest of NPD? I really relate to being severely lacking in validation to the point that I consider some of my more delusional episodes an underflow error of validation.

Edit: Hopefully "is this possible" doesn't count as "am I this?" I tried not to ask for a diagnosis. Hopefully it's not weird to shift to asking for a clue or disproving a negative or something.

Edit 2: I'm very confident I have NPD after checking the things in the DSM V and my visceral reaction of me not wanting to admit that they're all or almost all true >.<

I feel like I have narcissistic traits that I go back and forth on simeltaneously I like having them but also hate them and they bring me anxiety especially trying to bring them out like I genuinely think their is nothing wrong with doing things because of self interest, will be nice and help others just to get people to like me and care about me, tend to mentally see people as above me and below me and will believe I'm somehow great or ill somehow become the best at something and I'm somehow capable of doing anything despite lack of experience and in the past although less now would do things purely for the preformance aspect of it to prove my self worth to others although I do have empathy like really strong affective empathy for people close to me and love me not so much if I barely know the person which is probably normal also maybe I'm just overthinking things and anxious

I'm intruiged on how others are living their day to day.

Are you stuck at home, or out and about out?

Employed or unemployed?

Isolating or have people?

Functioning or barely surviving?

Do you have a routine or the days just blur whilst they go?

Since a lot of my boundaries and what I was percieving as « direspect » were actually driven by my narcissistic urges, destroying and rebuilding them is a really hard thing to do. Because now, everytime I feel direspected or my feelings neglected, I’m in this weird space where I don’t know if I’m allowed to blame the person and have a boundary for that action, that the person went too far and disrespected me, or if it’s normal / tolerable and my anxiety/anger/disappointment is due to my NPD.
Anyone struggling with that ?

i feel like i might have NPD or ASPD, i have been diagnosed with conduct disorder when i was 11 due to aggressive behavior at home

ive been in therapy until age 14, then again at 17

i was diagnosed with MDD and explosive personality disorder

my therapist whom ive been going to for now 5+ years said she doesn’t suspect NPD but therapy is self reported and i find myself relating to all of it (sadism, lying, manipulation, shallow relationships etc.)

i’ve been told by my ex friends and past circles that’s im a narcissist and i don’t have a single long term friendship, i don’t have a single childhood friend too hahahah

because i have zero affective empathy i tried bringing up the potential diagnosis to my therapist and she said she would have said if i was a narcissist but as of late the only “diagnostic criteria” that im meeting is factor 1 narc traits

help?

i have an urge to lie, just keep lying until i create a new persona and get oblivious in it. there was a post here, i brought up the topic of lying itself maybe a week ago. i’ve been too much of forcefully behaving like a member of society, it’s just getting out. i fear it will get down to physical, every night i fall asleep with sadistic thoughts.

lying is better than this, it’s kinda keeping me in the bad behavior limits with little to no consequences. but longer time ago i gradually started to bully myself into no lying so it feels verbatim morally illegal, even to a mentally sick person.

yes, in the course of 2 years, since the approximate beginning, it diminished greatly, but to a such extent that i cannot even pour out my malicious part into NOWHERE. lying was the last controlled resort i had, my only solace, i understood once i lost it. “oh yes the kindest narcissist of all time, how good you are so pure and honest wow, everyone thinks you’re the wisest of us all, any time soon you’ll reach nirvana wow standing ovation you, noble price of peace! you, saint sage !”

okay, but what’s next? everyday i get more and more violent inside of me, where can i let it go off with no major consequences to my current life? it is well settled, it’s like narrator’s apartment in fight club, i cannot ruin it. but any moment soon it will explode.

tl;dr i got too perfect and so i gathered too much of malicious inside. where can i get it out safely? eg lying but where?

Sometimes I wonder what animals people within Cluster B would be and why.

I feel like Borderlines would be Porcupines cause they crave love and affection while also keeping their quills up as a defense. I've heard a lot of people say BPD is like a bunny, but maybe I disagree due to bias in my adoration for bunnies. Plus, I suspect there might be some resentment at hand for how BPD is able to portray itself as the prey disorder in media compared to the rest of us.

I feel like histrionics would be most similar to parrots. Parrots are notorious for big dramatic reactions and being "all for the drama." They thrive in positive attention, but, when not getting enough of that, will purposefully seak out negative attention. Like if they bite someone, they'll easily be entertained by the person screaming "ouch!" and engage in that behavior more. Whereas something like a dog might bow its head or look ashamed.

ASPD no doubt about it would be an octopus. Octopus are easily under-stimulated in captivity-- which leads to bored destructive behaviors. They'll invent their own tasks like escaping their enclosures or stealing from for caretakers in order to stimulate their brains. It reminds me of how ASPD will break social norms and minor laws in order to feel some kind of thrill.

What do you guys think NPD would be? I'm stuck cause I could envision us as tons of kinds of animals. We would definitely be something vulnerable on the inside similar to the porcupine, but more attention grabby like a parrot. I could also see us as the parrots if I think about it though.
I heard someone say cats since they lick their own asses so much. Given, it was under an anti-narcissist reddit page so I didn't care too much about that kind of evaluation.

What do you guys think? Do you guys have other animal ideas for the other disorders? Let me know!

How to stop devaluation?

So basically the process has started for me now, I can’t pinpoint what has started it, the trigger or reason. But there is no reasonable reason to do this rn with the person. Oh why does it have to be this way.

What do you do with this? Have you ever been able to stop it? All I know every single time there is no way back after devaluation for me, I become so disinterested and empty that I would not want the person back in a few weeks time.

I've spent a lot of my life trying to figure out what's wrong with me. A lot of why I was seeking therapy and support in the first place was to find out what I have that separates me from everyone else. I seemed to have symptoms that nobody could place. I had a psychiatrist a few years ago think my strong mood swings were bipolar. Much later I got diagnosed with BPD and that was actually a more satisfying conclusion. I identified with a lot about BPD. Particularly with having strong emotions that are triggered by interactions with others and being fragile and not really understanding myself and feeling empty. It never really fit me to a tee though. Something that I couldn't ignore is my self-centeredness. No matter the situation or context, my mind is always thinking about how I feel. What this means about me. How this affects me. Every interaction I have basically just ends up with me using the other person as a point of comparison against myself. It just ends up being proof that I'm good or it ends up being proof that I'm horrible and stupid. I straight up ruled out NPD for the longest time because my default view of myself leans so intensely negative that I thought "I can't be a narcissist. I hate myself. I don't love myself or think I'm great." But when I actually learned more about it, I saw some jarring similarities to my own experience. I'm trans, and I cannot stand to be around a trans person who I think passes better than me or is more successful in their creative pursuits than me. I've met several very nice and kind trans women that I just absolutely flipped out on because they were prettier and more passing and more talented than me. This appies to basically anyone that makes me feel lesser because they have something I want for myself. I also fixate on people who don't like me. If someone just really doesn't vibe with my personality I become *obsessed* with them and can't get them out of my mind. I bother them and try and find out why they hate me and what's wrong with me that makes them feel that way. I can basically only stand to be around people who's existence doesn't seem to trigger me so my friend group tends to be made up of nice, empathetic people who aren't more talented or pretty than me. I absolutely hate this. I just want to be able to have a normal mind that doesn't send me into crisis for a day or two when someone gets tired of my antics and actually calls out my toxic behaviors and my sense of worth just shatters. I want to be able to be around people who are better than me at something without shutting down. I want to be able to write an apology without it coming off as venting. I just want to be normal.

I’ve had my big C collapse - before this I had no idea I had NPD. I’m currently having to stay with my parents and it feels like I no longer exist in a way. Without external validation like relationships or achievement, I feel like I don’t exist and I feel like I’ve lost my identity. I have the urge to find someone, anyone to validate my existence through a relationship but I live in a remote area and obviously can’t. The emptiness has been agonising and I wanted to ask if anyone has some suggestions on how I can build a more stable identity and also not feel so empty (initially the shame was so crushing I felt like leaving this planet).

F, early 20s. I want to make it clear that this post isn't meant to invalidate anyone’s lifestyle. It’s not my place to judge, and everyone knows what works best for them. Anyway.

To me, a conventional life, settling down with a family, working a 9-to-5, an average salary, answering to a boss, etc., isn't just suffocating and boring. The extreme boredom is only half the issue. The other 50% feels like a personal insult, an affront to who I am and it honestly makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.

I genuinely feel like I should be famous and analyzed under a microscope, with multiple conflicting narratives circulating about me: the victim, the girl next door, the enabler, the psycho, the industry plant etc. I want all of those versions of me out there. What really drives me is power, status, fame, mystery, and fascination. I don't just want to be loved like if I were a public figure, I’d want people to hate me with that same intense fascination.

Long story short: I’m not here to bore you with absurd delusions of grandeur, or try to prove I'm "special," or flex what I’ve achieved at my age.

Idk man I'm just venting I guess. I haven't been diagnosed with npd. I don't know if I fit the diagnosis criteria.

For reasons I can't quite wrap my head around, my ego is hardwired to protect me at all costs, making me almost immune to self-hatred or deep insecurity. Sure, I can get frustrated with myself on a surface level, like being mad that I didn't get something done, but under most circumstances, it never truly hits me on a deeper level.

I have this internal presence in my head that constantly comforts and loves me unconditionally. I don't care to be seen as a moral person or anything by random people.

I'm the type of person who does what they want. Sometimes I can't be bothered to meet with my friends cuz I'm too busy thinking and planning out my future.

What drives me crazy really is the prospect of...not being seen as exceptional and being known globally. Even waiting in line kinda insults me. Sounds pathetic, I know. I'm all over the place I don't really know what I wanna achieve with this post.

Edit: I also feel partly detached from society. Not complaining. I'm just neutral about my detachment. Like...I'm there but I'm not there. I can pe there for people but at the end of the day im gonna be extremely self absorbed and obsessed with myself.

Whats wrong with me?

I don’t know why I’m feelings like this now.. I used to be so proud, so unbothered, and so satisfied with my "loneliness".

There was a time before that, where I was pretty popular, had so many friends, and was always the center of attention in school and in my grade. I even was merely myself, and still was popular. No filters, no fake personality, no nothing. But i definitely was oblivious to most things back then.

But after that, a time came, where out of the nowhere I started to hate everyone. I felt like I stared seeing and noticing things in my social life, that I didn’t want to tolerate. I noticed how everyone around me seemed to be so superficial, kinda personality-less, and didn’t have any sort of standards or anything that would make them an "individual". I don’t know how else to explain it. I started getting hyperaware of social settings, and of peoples behavior in them, and I hated it.

I stared cutting off almost all of my friends because of things that went unnoticed back then, but now bothered me heavily. I started having big standards for everyone. I saw myself as genuinely above them, too smart and mature for them. I didn’t believe they deserved to have me as a friend, that’s how much higher my level was. I didn’t want to waste energy and time on people that didn’t fit my standards, so I decided not to pretend and cuz everyone off. I was left with a much smaller group of friends, that fit my standards better than most of the others, but eventually I got fed up with them too, and ended up with 1-2 friends that I felt were on "my level" and worthy of my friendship.

I was loving that feeling so much. I felt so special and unique, felt different and better, smarter and cooler than anyone else. I don’t need anyone, I don’t care about what others think of me, and I don’t mind being alone. It felt so good, and i genuinely felt so much more superior to others. I wasn’t mean or a bully at all, and I didn’t have social anxiety and was very good in being social IF I wanted to. But everyday I decided that I didn’t want to let anyone come too close to me. I was friendly towards most people, of course only if they were deserving of it, but after that, I never got to the level with them, to let them be my friend. I was genuinely so closed minded to that, I was enjoying to be so closed off, and with only 2 friends. I had people directly trying to get closer to me, but everytime, I shut them off in different ways, not hiding the fact that I’m not interested.

The point is, I really was very satisfied with being a girl who had all the potential to be popular, have as many friends and boyfriends as she wants, to be socially relevant, but decided to reject social norms and choose to be different, closed off. I was satisfied with only being admired from afar, because everyone knew that I don’t want to play into being one of "them".

That feeling of genuinely being satisfied lasted very long, and even now I agree with every point view that I had, but now it’s just kinda hitting different.

Now it’s as if I really can’t tone down the high standards that I hold for everyone and everything that i have. I’ve always been a person that craves deep connection and intimacy from a person, in my head wish for a person that understands me so deeply, and has an soul connecting bond with me. But I really can’t seem do find a person like that. In reality, I crave human connection, but I feel like, due to my impossible standards, I’m really not able to connect with anybody. I notice way too many things, every small detail about a person, and just one single flaw could tick me off so badly that I drop that person in a heartbeat.

I still think that most people just don’t deserve me, and that only people on my level should be allowed to get close to me, but what irritates me the most is, that almost nobody ever really meets my standards, so now, I’m left with no body. I can’t have fun with a group of friends, because i refuse to make friends with people that don’t meet my standards.

I still think I’m in the right for thinking that, and just not wanting to be with people that are significantly dumber, less mature, and just not having anything that I could connect with deeply, but still, I’m starting to feel extremely lonely.

Lonely due to me holding up such big standards, that I probably will not change. I wish I could be so satisfied with my loneliness again as I was before. Now I just feel like I’m missing out on a lot of things because I just can’t seems to accept superficial level of relationships with others.

I really just can’t bring myself to lower my standards, If someone would to come up to me and invite me to hang out with them and their group, I wouldn’t be able to agree, because I would feel like losing myself. I feel like I would be viewed as vulnerable if I agree after being alone and someone asking me if I want to be with them now.

I feel so conflicted about everything, and it will probably not change anyway. I just hope I will enter the phase again where I’ll be genuinely unbothered and satisfied with my stance.

"I wish I wasn’t such a narcissistic,
I wish I didn’t really kiss,
the mirror when I’m on my own,
oh god I’m gonna die alone"- Teen Idle by MARINA.

This perfectly describes how I’m feeling right now. It’s just hard having such a high view of yourself, at the same time holding such big standards for others. I’m closing myself off because I feel superior. It definitely has upsides but also Downsides. I hate it and love it at the same time. I kinda love being sad like that. I don’t know. I have no idea if something’s wrong with me, but writing all of this up helped into feeling better again.

Hi. M21. I was clinically diagnosed with NPD two years ago. I have dropped therapy. I can't take therapist seriously and I do acknowledge that's my problem. I'd rather spend in clothes or bags than talking to someone. I don't have friends in real life. Can't deal with people that much. I'm a private teacher and my students are all foreigners as well as their parents. I live comfortably and I am very satisfied with my profession.

Recently, I've realized something. I've been exposing my niche job online and I have received a lot of attention, from people that live close to me or in my city. I always just say "thank you" and that's all, but some of them wants to be friend. I say "ok", and then they wanna meet up. They share their pics and talk about them and I can smell a bad olor. I don't know if I'm crazy (probably) but when I see people, especially men, I smell a terrible olor, almost like a coping mechanism to maybe stay away from people. Of course, I was a victim of child abuse and I do display some paranoia. It is said in my diagnose I also display ASPD traits.

The matter is: I think people are smelly. My inner monologue is always:
"Ew, you smell"
"God, I'm glad i'm not in your shoes"
"I bet these people have a pathetic dream of being rich and happy... Who wants to be happy? They're a bunch of weirdos that don't deserve your time"
"He smells like [male private part]"
"Lol, I bet he bought this thinking he'd be good looking... It's just pathetic"

These monologues were written by me the last friday. Do you feel any sort of disgust towards people like me? Or maybe it's not even related to NPD at all...?

Anyone dating a pw bpd being a pw npd or vice versa?

Curious, what kind of issues or triggers do you run into? Do you think this could work long-term, or is it something that usually doesn’t work out?

I am unfortunately an individual with conduct disorder, and suspected narcissistic personality disorder. I do not yet have a formal diagnosis. I’ll keep this short, as I respect your time.

The core is, I struggle extremely with attaching myself to any political cause unless it directly benefits me.

I call myself a socialist despite somewhat hoping it doesn’t happen because I am in the upper class and would have to give a lot of luxuries up. I call for immigration equality but I quite literally cannot stand most people around me and being surrounded by more people in general would make me sick. I want multiple things to happen, but not really. They’re good, but would be consequential to me.

I recently had to confront this with the fact I contemplated if I would join a protest. The answer is no. I simply would not risk my life for other people’s grievance.

Can anyone tell me what this is and why it’s happening? Or at least what to do so and say in order to avoid people’s judgement or confrontation, which I don’t exactly appreciate.