I found out my cat had an ingrown nail and abscess at the vet and the only thing I worried about was how much money I was about to be spending. All I cared about was how they would think I’m a bad person and neglectful. Being more preoccupied with myself than my cat’s pain feels wrong, but at the same time I don’t care. I like my cat because she’s cute and I don’t mind spending the money when I have it.
I feel this way for people in my life too. I only deal with them if there’s some kind of benefit and if not I don’t see a reason to spend time and money around them. Weird thing is that I’ll cry about strangers and causalities that happen overseas. I volunteer a lot too, but only do it for resume building and if I’m passionate about a subject, like homelessness or autism care. I don’t know if this is NPD, but I sure feel like I’m self absorbed.

“Narcissistic racism” I guess ALL bad people are narcissists now lol I hate that this universal label using this DISORDER in particular had to occur during MY lifetime and after MY collapse. (Selfish take but I know it sucks for all of us.)

Have you ever had genuine friendships? Do you find it easy to make friends with people, whilst struggling to maintain them?

All my friendships have been relatively flimsy. I never really felt understood by anybody, and never really felt like the grace I have shown to other people has been extended back to me. It's easy for me to make 'friends' with people, but most of it involves me having to mask. I end most acquaintanceships because I am very sensitive to perceived disrespect. It makes for quite a lonely existence. I feel like I never really knew how to be a person.

What are your views / experiences regarding friendship?

i’m 22f and in a long term relationship w my bf 23m.
lately my life situation changed, i’m doing my masters diploma since a few weeks.
i always had diagnosed cluster b problems, but it got better over time w lots of therapy.

my main struggles are with my relationship, because i sometimes dissociate cognitive and act as if im not in a relationship (due to opportunistm, sadly). i wouldn’t mind cheating at all morally but i control my self and don’t.

but now, this new situation arose: im doing my master in a class of 10 ppl, 9 of those are men….
(studying chemistry). i find some of them really attractive and have the worst thoughts of cheating.. I surely wouldn’t but im just so surprised of myself, how disgusting my thoughts are, i hate it!!!
and besides that, i never told any of them that im in a relationship (wasn’t a topic tho) and i feel like i wouldn’t be worth to be around, if they knew..
the 2 guys who are most attractive to me are pretty very sure also attracted to me.
im insanely disappointed and disgusted by myself, my thoughts. on the other hand, it feels like i can’t but also won’t stop

sorry… im just venting tbh. but i would like different perspectives and maybe some helpful ideas on how i could change my mindset:/
i wish i would be less opportunistic and less interested in romantic romances besides my relationship.
i really relapsed HARD since my master started, i was doing sm better before

The hypocrisies, the lies, the needless gossip and triangulation, the criticism no one asked for, and god, the power struggles. All of it makes me sick. I don’t want to get to know anyone closely anymore Im just here for a good time. I used to be open to making closer friends but I think I’m over it for good. You’d think it’s something I’d thrive in because of my NPD but being surrounded by energy like this all the time makes me ill.

TL;DR: I bring cookies to work because I like to have a reason for nice people appreciating me.

I realized when I was 12 that I didn’t have any friends. I realized when I was about 19 that it was because I was ND but also just a clueless asshole. I blame my parents, they were assholes too and isolated me from better influences that did exist in our community. Anyway.

I started a merchandising job late last year. Early this year I guess I wasn’t getting enough attention and so I decided I was going to be the person who brings in desserts to share at my accounts.

I started practicing cookie recipes again after not baking for a few years. The first people I shared them with were very nice, and a few even gave some polite suggestions for what to make the next time. I tried out what they wanted, tweaked ingredients & baking time, and most of what I make comes out REALLY good. A couple people started referring to me as “the cookie girl”. Now I can just leave full plates up at the counter and they know where to get them.

Baking for others gives me supply when I’m feeling evil and good vibes when I’m feeling like I need to pay people back for secretly supply-siphoning their good vibes.

I don’t like the idea of people liking me just for being me, so I’ve gotten very good over the last several months at something I can point to as a reason for the appreciation given to me that I live on.

It's like I achieve something massive get all the praise and then a week later it feels like it happened to someone else. I can barely even recall the details. Is this just part of the grandiosity or something else entirely. It's frustrating because it makes it hard to feel lasting satisfaction.

I feel empathy greatly. Perhaps I am an empath. Just because I think I'm more important than other people doesn't mean I can't feel empathy. One has little to do with the other, for me.

Hey, everyone. I need advice on something that is going on for several years now. I tried to manage that but can't since it has a base on trauma I guess. I have 3 classes left to finally graduate and become an engineer, but those classes are physics and math which require lots of problem solving. Well.. My dad used to traumatize me when I was a child, like he was "teaching" math to me but what he did was constant yelling, threatening, and humiliating. Anyways this has a very negative effect on my academic life since I can't sit down and study to save myself because I get anxious and panic. During exams, I have panic attacks and have to leave the room or otherwise I am afraid I'll embarrass myself.

My question is any advice on how to regulate my emotions and study rather peacefully? And how to decrease my anxiety and panic attacks so I can focus on my paper during exams? Thanks in advance..

How do you feel about people who copy your personality and style? How do you handle them? Is there a way to stop them? Advice is appreciated.