I guess I’m just tired of being tired, and now feeling like I LOOK old and tired. I’m overweight despite doing everything right, can’t lose, have body image and aging issues now, have had to completely revamp how I think about food and exercise, and want to scream when I see commercials saying “talk to your dr if you think menopause is affecting your quality of life”. After all, what’s a few hot flashes?! Gee, those were uncomfortable. /s

I know everyone forges a different path, and all of our journeys come with varying degrees and combinations of challenges, but I am completely unprepared for how hard this has been. I’m over everything, from the dumb doctors to the anxiety to the weirdness of it all. I’m still out there swinging, but, yeesh.

I'm going through perimenopause and my face and skin has changed beyond recognition. I'm suffering quite bad hair loss as well, I look terrible! I remember my Mum not looking too good in her early 50s, not as bad as me I might add, I'm not even 50 yet! Anyhow as my mum got over menopause, she started looking well again, she had colour in her cheeks, her hair thickened out etc. I'm wondering, is this something that could happen to me? I'm struggling with how I look now as I haven't aged I've actually turned ugly. I don't know how I'm going to live my life like this, I just hope there is some hope out there.

I bought a portable AC unit for my bedroom but only been lowering the temp to about 72 which I think is still too hot, also bought a cooling Buffy comforter but I still am insulating myself with heat under it. Have ceiling fan and standing fan blowing directly on me. I wish I could sleep without covers but seems I need something kind of cozy and weighted on top of me. Those cooling mattress toppers seem very expensive, not sure if anyone uses them? Im waking up hot multiple times a night and cannot be on HRT right now.

Post meno for over a year. 48 switched from 2 pumps Estrogel to .75 patch (100pro) because the gel didn't seem to be working anymore. Right before I was supposed to go back in for my patch consultation, and go up to .1 my husband got laid-off and the crappy new insurance we have doesn't cover my meno doc. Thankfully she gave me refills on my patches but right now, I don't know if what I'm feeling is necessarily hormonal or just stress or everything.

My hubs is 54 and this is his first time in his career being laid off. I have never been the bread winner but now I am the only one bringing in money (sans current unemployment) and it's a lot of pressure. At first I felt good about it and saw it as an opportunity for him but three months in and now I find myself very stressed.

Since the lay-off our washer and dryer, dishwasher, and freezer have all gone out. I had a PTSD trigger occur and am still dealing with the after effects of that. And (I feel the worst about this one so much) I picked up cigarettes again about a month ago after quitting smoking for over a decade.

I feel like a complete mess physically, emotionally, mentally. And it doesn't help that I am being so hard on myself. I am definitely feeling incredibly emotional but I don't know if I should go up on my patch, as doc had planned to do in September. Especially with the horrible smoking part. But I'm not for sure what to do for myself to feel better.

I am trying to get back to where I was only a couple of months ago -- non-smoking, walking a couple miles a day, eating right (my appetite has been so small), feeling a lot better than currently -- but I find myself needing some support. My anxiety and depression are weighing me down pretty hard. I know this isn't normal and it will get better. But any words of wisdom or encouragement are great appreciated.

I am looking for a gyno in Queensland that supports testosterone treatment. I was on it when I lived in Victoria but I’m struggling to find someone to prescribe it in CQ. I’m willing to travel if it means I get my life back. Can anyone help?

I use topical estradiol gel packets and have had to increase the dose every 3 months due to significant symptoms returning. I start the new dose, everything in the world is right again but 3-4 months go by and symptoms come roaring back. Mostly horrible fight/flight symptoms, and rage and the longer I wait to increase my dose the more frequent I have hot flashes during each day. I’m up to 1.5 mg of divigel each day, which is above their top dose.

I also take 200-300 mg of progesterone each night to give me great sleep and uterine support and I have topical testosterone-about 0.2 ml twice a week due to acne that is incredibly reactive to testosterone but tbh that dose is perfect when my estrogen is working.

I am also taking 10 mg of citalopram for my GAD that has been working perfectly for me for 20 yrs. I cant go any higher tho as I experience ssri related sexual dysfunction.

My specialist isn’t sure what to do, we clearly cant just keep upping my estrogen dose every 3 months right? I could have years before this roller coaster is done 🙃

Anyone else? Any suggestions? I love life but I can’t live with crippling panic every day.

With regard to checking levels of hormones. I feel like there is zero clear messaging.

I had a total Hysterectomy 13 years ago. I have since seen a GYN and my primary at my local clinic​. The GYNs advice was to take blood and monitor the various hormones over a period of time.

The primary provider, which I find LAUGHABLE and a complete joke is to take blood ONE TIME and make her own determination.

Which is it? I'm sick and tired as a patient of getting unclear messaging from providers. Someone needs to make a decision at the board level and facilitate this messaging with all providers, it's crazy making as a woman.

Anyway, I have no lady bits left other than ovaries. Tubes, cervix and uterus were all removed so I have nothing else to gauge this. Been having hot flashes and symptoms for years, beginning a year and a half after my Hysterectomy. Constantly dismissed by providers at that time telling me there was no way I could be experiencing menopause at that age.

Also, another question, what is the pap smear guidance for us post Hysterectomy/no cervix ladies? I've also had mixed provider guidance on this too. Some saying I don't need it anymore and my primary stating I do and still need to scrape for cells regardless of no cervix.

It sucks trying to navigate being a woman at 50 yrs old with all of this unclear messaging. I want to take good care of my body but it seems the providers are hit or miss with their depth of care.

Thanks!

(UK context) I have white-coat syndrome, which means that my blood pressure spikes when I get it measured by a professional. A few years ago I had to a week of twice-daily readings at home to see if I needed to take medication (I didn't get prescribed any in the end). I test at home and my normal range is in the range of 120-130 over 80-90. I even feel a bit anxious when I use a home BP monitor but it reduces quickly once I relax.

I'm preparing to go to my GP to request HRT but I'm a bit worried about the blood pressure issue. What is your experience with this? I'll bring a week's worth of blood pressure readings so maybe I'm overthinking it?

Does anyone know of a good Menopause Dr. In El Paso? My girlfriend is passing through menopause with daily panic attacks and anxiety. If anyone can pass on a good recommendation of someone that would be great. My heart is breaking because of the pain she's experiencing.

Anyone else experience numbness, almost feels like bad circulation in arms/hands after starting HRT? It’s driving me crazy, while it’s not painful it is uncomfortable. I don’t know if it’s purely coincidental or a side effect of the hormones. I’m on a .0375 patch and 100mg of progesterone.

Anyone getting migraines that last multiple days every month once perimenopause sets in?

Im going some months without a period but they haven’t stopped yet. I’m taking sumatriptan and it helps a lot but still terrible to deal with.

It’s been going on for a year now. How long can it last??

I'm on 2 mg estrogen patch and Drosperinone. I asked a new HRT doc if he would keep me on drosperinone and he told me that he would want to switch me to progesterone the closer I got to menopause. He said that he would like to have me on something "cleaner." This just sounds like BS to me. This whole bioidentical thing annoys me. Progesterone made me want to die. And bioidentical is a marketing scheme - "cleaner" isn't a thing? I suppose he is referring to a slightly higher cancer risk on the synthetics? But does that even rise with age?

I am wondering what actual experiences were for people who experienced the following: if you were in perimenopause, and experienced continuous bleeding because your balance of e & p was incorrect, how long did it take the bleeding to stop once you started taking the correct doses? So for example, if you were on 100mg of progesterone, and starting taking 200mg, how many days/weeks/months did it take for your bleeding to stop after that first night of taking 200? AND, when you were working with your provider, how long did they tell you to give each dose combination a try before you tried something new?

I know there are all kinds of reasons for bleeding and you can switch to synthetic or get a D&C, etc, etc, And I know what the experts say to do and how long it could possibly take, but I am really looking to hear what the lived experience was for this one particular scenario.

Thanks!

Just screaming into the void. I’m not blaming anyone (husband), but my fresh box of estrogen patches has disappeared from the dining table. I was supposed to pop on a fresh patch this morning. My pharmacy is only offering one box at a time. And it’s Sunday. I am staring down the barrel of a month with no patches. Calling my doctor in the morning. Thinking of murdering people and quitting my job and throwing things out the window. Thanks for listening!

I don’t really have a question, just need to vent, I’m frustrated.

Before starting HRT I was in a very bad place mood wise. I had already been taking wellbutrine for years for anxiety but felt it wasn’t working anymore and had additional mood problems that I hadn’t experienced before (increased anxiety, depression-thought I had the winter blues for 3 years, SI, rage, awful brain fog and absolutely no motivation for anything).

I really thought it was the wellbutrine not working. I didn’t realize I was in peri. I didn’t know that peri could impact my mental health. Saw a meno specialist, started HRT. It helped everything except the motivation aspect which I was ok with because it fixed everything else.

I used to walk every day, did weight training, 2L of water a day, kept busy with hobbies. Now I have the energy for it but have absolutely no desire to go for walks, workout, do any hobbies. It’s been a year since I last did weights and I’ve only been on a few walks. My BMI is about 23 but a dexa scan says 40% body fat which is defined as being obese.

Not that I enjoyed it before but my husband has taken to doing all the laundry now because I am not doing any and house cleaning is only done when absolutely necessary (people coming over). No more regular grocery shopping. There’s days I don’t even have the motivation for work so I’m idly sitting at my computer all day. I’m not even remotely close to getting my daily quota of water intake, some days I go without.

I know all the tips and tricks to get moving, I know what needs to be done but I just don’t care yet am disgusted with myself every evening for all the things I didn’t do that day. And every evening I tell myself I will do better tomorrow but I don’t.

I kept thinking the hrt just needed more time for the motivation to kick in, didn’t see a problem with the dose as it fixed everything else except the motivation, but I’ve been on it for 6 months, I just recently increased my estrogen to .5, it’s only been 3 weeks but I’m starting to think this particular problem won’t be solved with hrt. I will of course stay on it for everything else it fixed. And the mood issues it fixed were more important than having motivation.

But I also don’t want to necessarily add more mental health meds to my regimen (I’m not in the mood for powering through potential side effects) or see the slow blink look on my dr’s face when I try to explain what the problem is. Our appointments are always so fast paced I struggle to explain myself and feel like an airhead.

But the discussion needs to be had with the doc, I will make an appointment.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Can I ask how things were for you during perimenopause (did they get worse during this time) and did the symptoms die down post menopause.

I am living in hope as that's all I have right now (life is not great atm with these symptoms AND perimenopause).

I have just deferred a planned hysterectomy (UK and under the NHS so have to wait a while now) because I have been under a huge amount of stress and my mental health is shot to pieces. I know that I am my own worst enemy but I really can not face major surgery right now. I am hoping I may be able limp by on something like Zoladex or Ryeqo or similar until I can get my mental health in a better place (currently having some therapy every week) and have the op next year instead.

I am 53 and feel as though my life is falling apart (four years into a failed uterine ablation, perimenopause issues, daily gut issues, mental health is breaking down and I help to care for my elderly mum who is in advanced Alzheimer's - such fun!).

Yes, I am feeling very sorry for myself right now lol!

I have been on HRT for one year. It’s been great for me. No complaints. Sleep well. I didn’t have any other symptoms to begin with . My bone density test was good shortly after starting HRT. Will retest in a couple of yrs.

I would like to hear about women w longer term experience.

Did some of you stop after a few years bc HRT got y over the hump?

When I tried to research log term use one piece of research said up to 5 yrs is safe. But fuzzy beyond that.

Edit: by hump I mean the worst symptoms for some women. For me insomnia drove me to it.

I do know healthy happy older women who never took HRT and are in their late 80s early 90s.

Thads why I am asking

October 18 is World Menopause Day! I just learnt - glad to see a lot of talk and discussions happening around it. My social media feed is seeing a lot of stories on it.
But more awareness and more science needed. But this is a good start!

62 years old, 10 plus years on oral HRT, Mimvey, highest dose. My doctor has talked me into switching to combipatch or the estrogen patch with the micronized progesterone. I do not intend to stop this therapy in my lifetime so switching to the safest option is starting to make sense to me. I can’t decide which option to choose. I’m a little nervous about the micronized progesterone side effects. I sleep very well and am not concerned about that. I had serious PMS symptoms, mental health symptoms, I’m worried about getting myself anxious and depressed, but maybe I’m overthinking this. Any thoughts? Thank you

How often are you supposed to apply it at first?

So I'm pretty newly post menopausal (June 21 was my 12 months). I had admittedly not been to the gyn in way too long, so when I noticed some light pink spotting for about 1/2 a day in September, I found a hcp and made the first appointment I could. She is lovely and so kind. Did the pelvic and Pap, etc. - saw some yeast-looking discharge as well as a really thinned, raw irritated spot right at my entrance. Said cervix looked good. Pap (which was normal) confirmed yeast, so she called me in two fluconazole pills. Did not spot any after the pap, even though she said I might. But about 5 days later I start with the light pink again. I notified her. She said let's treat for the yeast and then once that clears see how it is going. I'll admit that when I pee, I tend to take the toilet paper back there and check for spotting. Which I know isn't good. So now for about five days I've been having this intermittent spotting. It is only when I wipe. None in the toilet, none of my panties, etc. No cramping or anything. I even had my husband look with a flashlight (Lol) a few days ago and he could definitely see the abraded spot.

I have a telehealth appointment Wednesday to discuss bloodwork that I had done, possible estrogen cream, and the status of my spotting.

Has anyone had a story where their spotting truly did get better after treating yeast/atrophy? I know all the ins and outs and have already addressed possible next steps if this doesn't clear it up, as in ultrasound and biopsy. I think I definitely want at least an ultrasound if I decide to try that cream because from reading posts here I've seen others say that it can also cause spotting sometimes, and I think that will drive me crazy.

So hard to be a woman, I swear!!!

I guess I'm just looking for similar experiences. The stats say the largest cause of post-menopausal bleeding is GSM/atrophy, so I know there must be some stories out there!

https://exchange.ashhra.org/blogs/ashhra-exchange/2026/10/13/menopause-is-a-workforce-system-failure

Hi all! I’m hoping one of you may have some perspective or advice for me as I weave my way through complicated health stuff. 3 years ago I had breast cancer- a very, very rare type of triple negative that is thankfully not aggressive. I had two surgeries to remove the cancer and no chemo or radiation. I have a gene mutation that is also pretty rare that increases my risk of ovarian and breast cancers. My OB has had me on hormonal BC to make my ovaries quiet, treat my peri symptoms, and prevent pregnancy. So now we are at a point where guidelines for my gene mutation direct me to get my ovaries and tubes out ASAP- I just turned 46. My OB agrees that I should get HRT after surgery given my cancer profile vs quality of life.

Here’s where I start getting tangled up in my thought process. I could get the BSO alone and take combination HRT. Or I could get my uterus out as well (I have several small/medium fibroids and history of abnormal paps) and do estrogen alone. Obviously, I’d love to keep my organs, but I would also love to reduce my risk for any cancers, but especially a recurrence of BC. I know synthetic progestins have the higher risk than progesterone, but some research seemed to show that estrogen alone was less risky, so I am very conflicted. The idea of not having to worry about my uterus sounds good, but I’m terrified of the recovery and change to my experience of sex. I have a very active and very fulfilling sex life that I really don’t want to sabotage. I am an active person and have a job that requires a lot of movement, bending, and standing for hours, and that doesn’t give a lot of paid leave. So I’m looking at surgery at the end of December with 3-4 weeks off of work.

If anyone has any advice or personal experience similar to mine, I just feel lost and overwhelmed and deeply sad that i have to make these choices.